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August 10th, 2012, 09:26 PM
Original Russian translation can be found here (http://www.evangelion-not-end.ru/Portal/index.php?showtopic=10004&st=0)

If you don't understand some part (textually), please don't hesitate to tell me (probably that's a point to improve in translation).

Volume 1

J the E. (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/46-DDD-JtheE-Mirror) -- translation by arai
HandS.(R) -- translation by Enhance \0 Hand(R) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=900226&viewfull=1#post900226) \1 Hide(R) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=913956#post913956)
HandS.(L) -- translation by Enhance \0 Hand(L) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=927251&viewfull=1#post927251) HandS\ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=928407&viewfull=1#post928407) 2\Self(L) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=963673&viewfull=1#post963673) 3\Self(R) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1045476&viewfull=1#post1045476) 4\Self(L) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1088424&viewfull=1#post1088424) \Hide and Self (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1088927&viewfull=1#post1088927) \3.5\Self(R) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1090510&viewfull=1#post1090510)
formal hunt. -- translation by Enhance 1\ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1111110&viewfull=1#post1111110)
2\ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1304902&viewfull=1#post1304902)
3\Formal hunt (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1509332&viewfull=1#post1509332)
4\ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1513779&viewfull=1#post1513779)

Vol. 1 appendix (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2691-DDD-Vol-1-Appendix-spoilers) -- translation by Crown
Volume 2 -- translation by Desuclocker (unless otherwise stated)


0\ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1608184&viewfull=1#post1608184) -- translation by Enhance
1\Slugger.(Top) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1645117&viewfull=1#post1645117)
2/Intermission (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1649968&viewfull=1#post1649968)

Day 1, Day 2 (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1659158&viewfull=1#post1659158)
Day 3 (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1661772&viewfull=1#post1661772)
Day 4 (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1666287&viewfull=1#post1666287)

4\Sinker.(Top) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2003621&viewfull=1#post2003621)
5\S.VS.S-2 (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2197246&viewfull=1#post2197246)


6/Slugger. (bottom) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1687198&viewfull=1#post1687198)
7/S.VS.S-3 (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2238948&viewfull=1#post2238948)
(sink) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2238948&viewfull=1#post2238948)
8/Sinker. (bottom) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2287684&viewfull=1#post2287684) & Part 2 (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2317127&viewfull=1#post2317127)
9/Sinker VS Slugger. (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2377512&viewfull=1#post2377512)
Х/Present time (2004, summer) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2377512&viewfull=1#post2377512)


1/ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2620688&viewfull=1#post2620688)
2/R.HF (Intermission: Ishizue Arika) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2623661&viewfull=1#post2623661)
3/Present time (2004, end of December) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2628365&viewfull=1#post2628365)

Vt.in day dream.

0/ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2632036&viewfull=1#post2632036)
Vol. 2 appendix (https://junktheeater.wordpress.com/decoration-disorder-disconnection/ddd-vol-2-appendix-kanatas-postscript/) -- translation by Crown

Sora no Soto -- translation by Desuclocker

First half (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2649539&viewfull=1#post2649539)
Second half (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=2652481&viewfull=1#post2652481)

Sora no Soto manga (http://junktheeater.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/sora-no-soto-manga-short/) -- translation by Crown

Ongoing editing effort by Zenieth (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1402099&viewfull=1#post1402099)

Awesome PDF compilations of volume 1 (including J the E) until formal hunt\2 (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1427690&viewfull=1#post1427690) and of full volume 1 without J the E (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1514109&viewfull=1#post1514109) by unijeje Dead links, will be replaced with PDFs of the entire translation soondere.


Hey, Ishizue-san.
What if you could give a form to God?
What would you imagine God as?
I would imagine him as a hand.
If God is an object that gave mind to human,
then human's hand is the God himself...

... Whatever he did, nothing worked out well.

At one summer night, when he was found by a phantom under the Sun, lying on a two-tier bed, he vaguely realized: what if he wasn't just awfully mistaken until now, but also can't correct his mistakes until death?
Next morning, his uneasiness came true.
And now the kind smile of his father, without a filter, was a smile full of prudence, and gentle eyes of his mother weren't radiating love and care, but were blackened with indulgent pity.
For a moment... He remembered his friend, who did one wrong step and tumbled down the stairs.
If you only look at the good side, he was a perfect child, a honor student. If you ask for people's opinion, everyone valued him. But...

Phantom from yesterday chuckles.
Know your place. Nothing will go well like clockwork.
You are a loser for eternity.

... Recovery wasn't going well.
When your way of acting lacks important, vital parts...
A car, even a very fast one, is imperfect and defective without brakes. One day it will fail to make a right turn.
When you notice disconnection, it becomes much clearer.
And here you notice that you, no, your way of acting is only calling for a general enmity. And if so...


Well, and he...
Whatever he did, nothing worked out well.

------- HandS.(R)

\Beginning of 2004

Hisaori Shinya, male, 16 years old.
He became a witness in Hisaori Makina's aggression outburst case, which happened in their house, and after the crime his mental condition became unstable, which is why his sanity was put under doubt, and he was placed in this clinic for appropriate procedures.
-- What, name?.. You ask that right in time, nothing to say. That name had a meaning, but it was long ago, and it's mostly dispersed by now. But, hm... Well, yes, since it's left in documents and examination results, then I'm surely... it's.... Hisaori Shinya.
Right after coming to clinic, Hisaori Shinya refused to cooperate, and he neither said that he wasn't involved in the crime nor that he's Hisaori Shinya.
Investigation assumed that it was an attempt to avoid being listed as involved in the crime, but later agreed with psychiatrists about necessity of clinical examination. Three doctors diagnosed a rare mental state, in which patient would be happy to admit he's Hisaori Shinya, but just can't believe it.
-- Of course, whatever happened, I am me. I just couldn't do anything. I came to senses after falling from chair, nothing changed inside of me, but... but my place in life disappeared.
In Hisaori Shinya's statement words "loss of self" and "capture" were frequently repeated. A responsible doctor noted scopophobia, an obsessive idea of being constantly observed by someone.
-- So, as I was saying - when I fell, a suspicious demon got seated in a chair. By the way, it's you who left him roam free, while it still wasn't late!

Taking in account the tragedy, consisting of two dead and one heavily wounded, and also mental state and age of Hisaori Shinya, medical commission made a decision of putting patient in a clinic.
Two weeks after the tragic events took place, Hisaori Shinya admitted his guilt and repented for his sins. In clinical record, it was noted, that due to the temporary nature of violent lunacy, there is a chance for full recovery after the appropriate psychiatric procedures, and he may hope for indulgence of the court.

-- What?.. Are you joking? I don't intend to return to my former life. Let's say, just because I was placed here, my reputation is already over. I don't have a place in life, what am I going to do there? Just fall into depression. An odd man out - that's not for me.

Hisaori Shinya admitted the fact of murdering his parents with his own hands, of his aggression to his older sister, after which...
-- That's why I want to die as soon as I can. But I just can't die yet. Terrible, yes, but that's my mission. You left me roaming free. Oh yes. Now I have to use my life to bring down that demon.

He still calls himself a victim.
Below is the protocol of events from three years ago, during which Hisaori Koji and Hisaori Kayo were killed.

"Hisaori-san from the third room - it's that role model one, you know? Looks like it fits. Amazing, so little, but made such a mess... And I pity him too, just came out to the street, bang - killed two people... That's an exile to a colony right away, right?"
"Half a year ago, yes. But now, you know, that 'obsessed' thing? Well, because of it, parents' death is an 'accident', well, at least they say so..."
"Really?! I heard it was a false accusation, and it sounds true - he was mumbling something crazily, but there's something... about the damage done to corpses, or something like that."
"Is that so... Well, what did it start from, anyway?"

"Huh? You don't know?
Well, listen. Hisaori-kun has an older sister..."


Beginning of summer, 2003.

Clinic's lobby was concreted.
The glazed entrance, about ten meters wide, was covering a picture that was nothing else but a nightmare for a patient here, and I think that physically blocking the only entrance and exit was a very bad idea.
Not even because the patients, me included, couldn't go outside. But because such a huge medical complex doesn't have any incoming - well, coming from outside patients. Not a single one. A hospital you can't come in to - I think it can't be called hospital anymore.
Of course, that was my personal perception on it, because that was strictly a hospital. Five buildings, even though there wasn't much medical staff, not even a hundred people, made it the largest hospital of the prefecture. Actually, not a single patient knew where are we. People conventionally thought we're "somewhere in the north", but that doesn't actually matter, as you can't leave here. They say that before becoming a patient here, while possessed is still living in a society, he's sent to a laboratory. Laboratories were called "Origa", "Kinui" and so on. Of course, it's not such a happy place here, it's an unambiguous clinic, and day after day dozens of doctors are tiring themselves for the sake of curing us.

Completely white buildings without a single stain.
Tranquil alley, crystal clear chambers, huge garden surrounded by high walls, glazed from one side waiting room embraced by sunlight. Nothing to pick on, everything in order.
That's why lobby's facade was extremely out of place. Well, after all though, it was the only place in clinic where you could see gray color, and it was lobby that was, in a way, telling us our place here.
Just as I was coming back from lobby to building B, the only one with an inside garden, music filled the clinic.
Adagio by Albinoni.
At the same time some patients in the waiting room of building B limply went to their chambers.
Private time for one of the buildings was over.
When the time comes to come back to chambers, music is sounded for patients. If you hear it - come back to your chamber. It's improper to announce "Dear patients of x building, your private time is over!" - and it's no good for other patients to know who's from which building.
Looks like everyone's music is adagio today. I'm from the C building, and we had adagio by Brahms. That means that ones returning now are from either B building or A building. Patients from D can't come here, to B building, so D building is excluded.
Music is changed everyday, and if you're curious, you can find out who's from which building, but patients here don't feel like doing such nonsense. That was in a mutual assent with staff.
All patients that are allowed to leave the room are harmless like corpses, that's why in a waiting room everything's so in order that you get dizzy. On a sofa, that probably wasn't stuffed from the clinic's opening day, are some dormantly sitting patients.
Bleached with an afternoon sun waiting room reminds of a church. It hurts my eyes. The sight of praying corpsies under the bright sun.
-- ...
That brings me to thought about that summer day, and I join the corpse company. I fall on the sofa, unable to bear dizziness.


Opening of that isolation ward is a ten year old story.
Ten years after discovery of the carriers of A-syndrome - in common parlance, "possessed" - specialized health center was finally built, where the earliest, and maybe the latest diagnosis was confirmed about twenty years ago.
Symptoms of the illnesses were so surrealistic (or exceeding expectations) that medical institutions couldn't react in time.
As a result, country bought an unfinished public hospital not in the greatest area of N prefecture, and prepared it for curing the "possessed", so it became this health center.
Later, the inhabitants of building A, after moving to clinic, got a duty and rights for special procedures.
To this clinic, the only and greatest health center in the country, all Japanese carriers were being brought.
... Though infection patterns were limited to west part of Japan, so "all Japanese" term is inaccurate.
Normally, patients diagnosed with A-syndrome received state care, after which they were brought to this clinic, and then they were allocated to one of the buildings, A to D.
Once in a clinic, patient could not leave until he was cured and wasn't allowed to meet with his family. That was necessary both to prevent leaking of distorted information to society and to protect patients' private life.
Even now, ten years after, security classification was still high, but everything noted here isn't about specific patients.
That completely isolated from outside world sterile space.

And now I think that this little world, that made you think if everything's extinct in the outside world now, was for them, carriers and patients, best possible environment.

-- ...ri-san? Hisaori-san, are you not feeling well?
Gentle words make my dizziness fade. Geting up from sofa that I fell onto, I answer: "I'm alright".
Doctors that were crowding the waiting room quickly and habitually test my pulse and my pupils, and note: "No abnormalities".
-- Okay. Don't overexert yourself. If you can't return to your chamber, don't be shy, shout.
As usual, showing his knightly attitude, Dr. Dolittle, also known as Dr. Kinui, left the waiting room.
"Carriers" - it doesn't mean that our illness is spread through air or some other type of contact. It isn't spread through fluids, skinship or animals. Normally, carriers don't increase number of carriers. That's the only common feature of the polymorphing A-syndrome.
As for confirmation of this theory, Dr. Dolittle fearlessly touched the patients. Of course, other doctors weren't so heartful, or humanitarian.
On streets, people with A-syndrome are called "possessed". A rude nickname, but in the sense that they can't be handled like normal humans, it's absolutely right.
All their thinking processes become a little bit eccentric, and body grows new organs. In mild cases, physical abilities become stronger or weaker, in heavy cases they're multiplied. To put it bluntly, it's apparent.
For example, my face nerves became more sensitive than normal human's, but I didn't have any special changes.
Nevertheless, among those patients in the waiting room, there are some with sixth finger or unknown outgrowths. It's easy to see them.
Which means, we're divided to those, whose old abilities were changed, and those, whose body was changed.
The latter are frankly freaks, and they're very lucky, Dr. Kinui became like a native to them. It's like they met Buddha in hell. The nickname "Dolittle" isn't just for appearances. When you talk to him, you feel like maybe you can really get cured?..
Whatever you say, though, even if you get cured, the crimes you committed aren't going anywhere. But even just because I'm put to this clinic, my life is over.
-- ...I overdid it. I didn't have to go that far.
It's been two years since then. I blundered and was caught. Full of determination to commit a full-blown crime, I, without dirtying my hands, inflicted injury on my parents. For half a year I was spending my life with those people, for whom for the same amount of time a trap was being prepared. You can't really get out of a trap like that. Dad and mom both stepped on a mine so good, it was a pleasure to watch. But it missed a little, and as a result two dead bodies fell on the ground one next to each other.
-- ...It's a shame. Well, whatever. Screw the result, everything was perfectly prepared. But all my tricks weren't worth a broken penny when I was accidentally spotted as possessed and caught.
It's like karma. Order of my actions was perfect. My blunder was that I had a goal, and in the end, as a compensation for that, I became confined in this hospital center.

Though, compared to other patients, I have some hope.
Two years after, my parents' death was noted as an accident, and my innocence was, actually, proven. I didn't kill anyone yet, and I could let myself be a little optimistic.
Right now I was concerned with my full recovery and, finally, freedom from this place.
I want to come back to society. From the very beginning, I was trying hard for that. From the very beginning, it was my goal. I was delayed by that case with mother and father, but I'm going to be innocent again and recreate myself.
I repent. This time I'll live like a human, in a way not to harm anyone. For that, I first have to find a new way to exist - no other way, it seems...

-- ?..
Just when I got filled with optimism and raised my head, a weird something caught my eye. In front of the glass door, leading to the inside garden, something impossible was happening.

Dissolved in sunlight, a man with a paintbrush in front of a canvas. Around my age, but with gray hair. That gray-haired youngster, with bored look, was drawing a worthless painting.

For the first time in two years, my cheeks spread by themselves.
Youngster, sticking out his lip, was moving a paintbrush on a canvas. He was just having fun drawing, to kill time. Amazing. Why did he decide to do that? Unable to fight my curiosity, I went up to him.
-- Sorry, you don't mind if I stick around?
-- Hm?
My tongue started to talk before awkwardness came. In this building, it's uncomfortable to talk to other patients. It's not prohibited - but you just won't get answered. Probably that youngster was looking so carefree that this theory, absorbed by me in the past couple years, got completely forgotten.
-- Sure. But I only have one chair.
He appeared to be even more carefree than it looked like from afar. I remembered the almost forgotten, heard who knows how many years ago, art of naturally talking.
-- I'll sit on the floor. Can I watch for a bit?
-- As long as you won't be a bother. But a weird taste you have.
Gray-haired one snorted, looked at me and engulfed himself in drawing.
His glance was a bit scary. He's probably always like that, but his glance was like snake's. I have a childish face, I try to look admiringly. He looks originally, like a street bully.
Which building he's from, I wonder. I didn't see him in C. It's either B or A. Probably, A - I can't imagine people looking this healthy in building B.
-- Mm, which building are you from?
-- From A. Sorry that I occupied the place in B. I have a scary sister there. I'm trying to flee to where I don't catch her eye.
I looked closer - he was all in moles.
I only know about that from rumors, because I'm quiet, but they say that disobedient patients are examined by some medical expert, that is like a demon from hell. Somewhy I decided that this man is his permanent client.
-- Hm? Eh, you don't have a hand?
-- Yeah, dropped it on the way here. That's why I'm now in a hospital.
-- Woah, I envy you. A normal clinical reason.
What am I saying... But that's true. The patients they're bringing here are those with weird outgrowths. And this gray-haired one - with a normal wound, normally went for treatment, a normal patient.
-- Ah, no, that's just, unthinking observation, mm...
He looked at me, amazedly.
He grinned - one that said "a", would say "b".
-- I see. Pessimist, but optimist. By the way, yes, it's logical that I came to a hospital...
His right hand with a paintbrush draws a sharp line.
For a while I'm watching his movements. He isn't drawing something in particular. He just has nothing to do, and painter's utensils caught his eye, so he's using them. He doesn't have a motive to display, he's caught in the very process of drawing. Naturally, he doesn't care what gets drawn, his mind is in other place.
-- Hm, that hand of yours...
-- M? Which hand? One that I have? One that I don't?
-- The one you have. Your movements are very agile, they're fascinating.
He looked at me amazedly again. Maybe he's always this amusing?
-- "The one I have", amazing. Usually people ask me about how I lost my left.
-- There's no meaning to talk about what is not. I have more interest in your right one. Is it possible to be so agile at handling everything with one hand?
Gray-haired chuckled.
-- I don't have the other one, so I'm doing my best.
Movements so natural, it feels like he was born with one hand.
I wanted to talk with him again, but then heard music. Adagio by Brahms. The slow classic tune, pressuring the freedom of building C's patients.
-- Are you going to be here tomorrow too?
-- If I'll be able to move after examination. The picture's going to take a while.
Relieved, I get up. I have to say my goodbyes and go back to building C.
-- Wait. Let me write down your name.
-- Hah?
Looks like he has a horrible memory. He seems to have a habit of writing down everything new and important.
-- I'm Hisaori Shinya. And you?
-- Shinya? It doesn't fit you. Well, I'm not the one to talk...
Gray-haired writes "所在" in a corner of canvas, which means "location".
-- Weird name, right? - Gray-haired ironically, but with some pride in it, smiled, and added: - And it's read as "Arika", with that.
That's how, on the second year of my confinement, I got acquainted with Ishizue Arika.
If you think about it, from the handful of friends I have, with two I got acquainted with this clinic.
One, as you already guessed, is this gray-haired.
The other one is, afterwards drowning this clinic in blood, his sister.


Buildings, ordered from A to D, are equipped with strict exit/entry control.
Patients' freedom consists of two levels, first one of them - freedom to leave their chambers. It's given to patients like me or Ishizue-san, who didn't have any cases of aggressive behavior in the past.
Directorate also decided to give freedom of taking strolls to neighboring buildings. That is the second freedom level. It was intended to allow communication between the carriers, and recovery of their social behavior. It wasn't called for. They have more than enough of themselves, they don't communicate. Me and Ishizue-san are exceptions, but Ishizue-san is an amazing guy a level above me. He can freely talk to any patient. I think that was the reason he got almost killed a couple of times, but he doesn't learn. He just doesn't have anything that resembles feeling of danger.
-- Well, what can I do? Mato-san told me to talk to other patients as much as I could.
The same old waiting room in building B. Ishizue-san said that today he's going to finally finish the painting - in a voice that felt like he absolutely hates the very thought of it.
-- You don't like to paint, Ishizue-san?
-- Well, not to say I don't like it: it's cool, but it's strange. I only started it because some doctor suggested to kill time like that. And today is the last time. After that... Yeah, wanna play catchball or something like that?
Ishizue-san, being an unexpectedly responsible guy, doesn't drop what he started halfway. Like he said himself: "If I don't finish it properly, I'd be scared for my afterlife".
-- It's nice for you, guys from A building, you get to borrow that sort of stuff. They say you can even watch TV in the waiting room?
-- Only the local boring stuff. And there's so many willing to, there's a real contest for it. Well, nothing too great. And behind the wall they're writing reports about how we react to certain films.
-- That's not entertainment, that's lab data... Means that we're also paying for others' music. That isn't fun.
-- Yeah. You know, I think your building is more fun. I mean, I wouldn't go to D even threatened by death...
The only rule of free commuting between buildings, whomever it was made by, is that you can only commute to buildings neighboring your own.

As a patient from C building, I can be in either B or D.
Ishizue-san, as a patient from A building, can't go further than B building.
You can say it like that: patients from A and D can't meet.
The patients are divided between A to D by, of course, the development level of their agonistic syndrome. A is mild, D is heavy.


Patients are sent to A building if they have no visible outgrowths or changes. Or those that had complications from a wound dealt by carrier. Normal patients. "Ishizue-san is obviously normal" - and envious glance.
If it wasn't for isolation and limitations of free time, their life was like that of normal people. Schedule: three examinations per day... well, many types of examinations... chat with arbitrary patients. Ishizue-san says there are about twenty patients there. The inside structure of the building is quite right too, except for one room for special examinations by a private medical expert that is out of ordinary.
I don't know what's common between patients of building B. They look like relatively stable and curable people, even though with some neoformations. It almost looks like surgical intervention is all they need.
Not the level where removal of neoformation leads to death. I'm making this conclusion based on Dr. Dolittle's words, that when they find a way for surgical intervention, they remove the infected organ.

As the symptomatics are completely individual, investigations are proceeding sluggishly. Everyone needs their own surgery, and development of new medicaments and techniques is not an easy task, so surgeries are very rare. Building B has the most patients. They also have the classiest waiting room.
Well, and our building, C, is for those patients whose symptoms are stabilized as "A-syndrome," possessed.
It's actually not as dangerous here as in B building. Patients whose conscience is breached are not allowed outside their chambers, and the ones that are allowed out are stable and won't go rampaging again.
But patients with weird body parts, even the slightest, don't leave their rooms, and as a result the building is empty like a jail.
I was in the D building only once.
If C building is a jail, then D is ruins. Even doctors with security guards are only appearing near the entrance. Most patients are afraid of light, so corridors are barely lit, almost like a cave. When I thought about escaping from here, I decided that I should know at least the basic layout of D building, but I couldn't even reach waiting room.
From what I got to know, patients there were in the last stage of syndrome. Procedures and amputations don't work. You can say they're fully developed. Only about three people are living there, the other forty are in "seclusion".
By the way, around half a year ago, they moved a new patient to D building. It was the biggest all hands' job in past two years. Clinic's been in a wild turmoil, and after three days of some mega-surgery the almost dead patient was checked for life signs and sent to D building.

Doctors that carried out the surgery for some reason dropped him to a mixer, but somewhy he still lived - or so they say.
Anyway, that's how the building D is, holding an army of monsters.


-- How do you think, what are the "possessed", Ishizue-san? Unfortunate people with a terrible disease or creatures that are not human anymore? - in a waiting room with nothing but corpses, I asked the only living creature. Looks like he felt weak for a bit, remembering D building.
-- Who knows... I'm not a doctor, I don't know the definition of "human". When something inside or outside changed, but you don't know how it was originally, you can't say what the difference is.
Clever analogy. Even doctor doesn't know that until the autopsy.
-- For us, normally living - well, yeah. Maybe those that you can talk to normally are the human ones?
Difference between medical and philosophical definition of human. Hm, Ishizue-san seems to give a lot of meaning to mental part. And ignores logic too much...
-- ... Cool. I wish you were my upperclassman, I would attend school properly then. You just don't give a damn about anything, do you? I could lend money from you, and you would forget about it the next day.
-- I would. But it's okay, I'm writing down that sort of stuff.
Paintbrush moves on the canvas. Canvas is eighty percent black by now. It's not just that he doesn't wish to paint anything in particular, he also makes mistakes a lot, and produces such a result that even an abstractionist would faint after seeing. And it's almost completed.
-- Anyway, it's nothing to be thinking deeply about. Possession is just like catching cold. Possessed aren't guilty, and the main problem is what to do with them after that.
Ishizue-san's logic is built from a safe distance - absolutely thoughtless idealism. But... I have to agree with that formulation...
-- Yeah. I envy those who caught cold.
-- If you're unfortunate enough, you'll catch it, whoever you are.
... He just doesn't understand, after all. People that catch cold are those that have weak health from the start.
-- Well, but why are you saying that? Word "possessed" isn't used much around here, is it?
-- I just remembered building D, and started thinking seriously if we're really human.
Paintbrush freezes. Ishizue-san makes a funny face again.
-- You know what, Hisaori... About that monster cemetery there, forget it, don't think about it, don't even say it. It holds the real demons. I'm sure that if you speak in medical terms, these are aliens.
-- Oh come ooon. Doctor said there was a girl, beautiful like a flower. Came half a year ago, she was around fourteen. He said the "gothic lolita" dress fits her perfectly or something like that.
-- Don't take Dr. Dolittle seriously. It's just his passion for lolis. Uncurable disease, "pedophilia". And it wasn't "gothic", it was a wedding dress. Blackened with blood.
-- Huh, how do you know that?
-- What? I came here half a year ago too.
Ah, got it. Explanation accepted. Bold paintbrush movements resume.
It's really amazing - he's drawing such a crappy painting, but movements of his right hand are so fresh and perfect.
Ishizue-san is very attentive, and answers anything you ask him. Even though four out of five answers he says with uninterested face, it's interesting to watch such live mimics, adding special nuances to all of his words.
-- Ishizue-san, what were you doing outside?
-- Nothing much. Lived normally, got wounded normally, normally finished a monster, just that.
I'm watching every wrinkle of his while he says that.
I stop feeling my limbs and just concentrate on watching. It feels like I'm made of eyes alone.
-- And before that? You look twenty or so, were you studying?
-- Half a year in a university. Just made the report on social relationships, when everything went down.
I'm counting his pulse, breathing rythm.
Meaningless topics, meaningful topics; topics that he likes and topics he doesn't like - I'm raising any question I can and correct it with real him inside my head.
-- You didn't have a lover, right? You're so cold.
-- Who knows. Maybe I had, but I don't remember.
This guy doesn't remember even THAT sort of stuff?!
... But his reaction was valuable, that's why I'm not going to be mad for now. Thousands of things I should watch. Silent pauses are very important. As the time passes, little by little I merge my imagination with Ishizue-san's. I like this simple work of mine.

Music is heard. Corpsies are starting to slug out of the waiting room. Ishizue-san doesn't seem to care - so it was a sonata for B building patients just now.
-- Say, Ishizue-san. What do you think of God?
I'm asking this last question while thinking if I should watch and learn from him or not.
I already decided to keep our friendship forever, but there is still one line that is yet to be confirmed. I should make at least that sure while I still can.
-- I don't see a connection. Why that all of a sudden?
-- Well, we started from demons, means God is next.
-- Ah, in this way. We didn't have that sort of stuff, I don't know about Buddha either. If you want to talk about God, talk to Dolittle, he's gonna keep you occupied for the whole night.
-- I don't mean the definition of God or belief. What do you imagine when you hear "God"?
-- Nothing. Emptiness. No shadow, no looks, no smell, no feel.
He understands God like that. It's not that "God is an empty concept", but that "God is emptiness itself", half-belief. It's different from my view on that, but it's acceptable. Even if I don't know how he thinks, I can understand him.
-- How about you, Hisaori? Do you believe in God?
-- Not as much believe as worship. Not to God, but to what symbolizes him. What if you could give form to God? What would you imagine him as?
-- It's a task like "draw air"... Well, if he's that great and almighty then an eye or light, maybe?
He wasn't hesitating with his answer at all. He didn't even give me a wry smile for giving him an uninteresting question, he acts just as Ishizue-san I imagined.
-- I would imagine him as a hand. If God is an object that gave mind to human, then human's hand is the God himself.
-- What? What's that, anthropomorphism?
-- It's result of mind. That what people have, but animals don't - that's the hand.
-- I don't get it. Mind is brain, isn't it? That's where knowledge is collected.
-- Don't say it like that, even animals have brains. And human's mind is worthless to an animal. It doesn't have any abilities superior to theirs. Isn't brain just a machine to move your hands?
Oh damn. He just gave me such a weird look. I'm kind of uncomfortable, but he's my new friend, so I'll get mad later. I'll just have fun for now.
-- If you say so. But it means that we both lost God.
-- Yeah. But there's nothing we can do about that - it's normal for demon-possessed.
From that simple element, Ishizue's hand that felt so alive stops. For the last time he moves his paintbrush and mumbles: "Well, something like that".
-- Oh, you're finished?
-- If I continue, it will turn out all black. And it's almost time to go back, great moment.
He starts to gather the painting tools, scattered in the waiting room for about a week. Is he mad at me for bringing up that topic?
-- Ishizue-san, what are you going to do with this picture?
-- I don't need it. I'll give it to Dr. Dolittle, and it'll be burned in a couple years, I guess?
-- Aww, how can you say that? Give it to me, please. I don't promise to keep it perfectly, but it would at least decorate my room.
He looks at me amazedly again.
Ishizue-san kept thinking, making faces, but in the end he decided that it would be too much of a hassle to bring it with him.
-- Alright. But know that: even if you try to return it, I'm not taking it back.
-- Okay. Don't wave your copyrights in front of me then, yourself.
With incredible agility Ishizue-san picked up everything with one hand and went back to building A.

I'm looking at the finished painting.
Strokes, which render eighty percent of the picture black. I thought it was a butterfly with scattered wings, but after investigating it closer I understood the simple theme of it.

The sign "Arika" in a corner, and two children holding hands.


The heavier the symptoms of patients, the more breaks in their schedule.
Waking up at six. Breakfast at seven. Examination after breakfast, dinner, and free time till lunch. That's what it's like for me in C building, in D building they probably don't even get fed.
Patient-like lives are spent in B and A buildings. Ishizue-san is always relaxed, but in difference from me he only has lunch break as free time.
His day is like that: waking up, being with me till breakfast, then a round on internal therapy, external therapy, psychotherapy, chat with other patients, P.E., examinateion by medical expert (aka questioning), and so on - incredibly detailed schedule. And you can't skip anything, clinic keeps watch on all of your movements. Examination is alright, but what is that marathon for? And I felt bad that Ishizue-san was the only one to go through that. To keep up the talk with him, I am following similar schedule as much as possible.

And then - it seems like my wish came true.

For the first time since my arrival I was sent to torture room... I mean, examination room.
-- Nice to meet you... well, no. We already met when you were just brought here. Okay, sit down now, time's not waiting.
Too big of a room for examination room, not enough items in it. High ceiling, glassed watching room at around the height of a second story. Feels like you're a single white chip on a "go" board. The room is tilted, the patient's entrance is below, and the entrance she used is on top.
In the middle of a tilted room is a table and two chairs on different sides of it. On a higher chair sits a woman in a business suit.
Touma Mato. Ishizue-san calls her Mato-san, sometimes Tomato-san, but to me it's just an unattractive woman in her thirties.
Touma Mato is imposing, like devil looking down on a sinner in hell. Normally this room would be making people think they became smaller, but that woman instead made the size of the room pressuring. I heard that Mato-san feels like "three of these hospitals", but who would've thought it's true?
-- It's hard with you, both sister and brother... Did you hear the news about your parents? Yesterday they gave a conclusive verdict. The case would be viewed from a point where Hisaori Koji and Hisaori Kayo's deaths were an accident. Rejoice, it means you're free now. So if you want to, I can give a permit for your discharge by symptomatic improvements.
-- ...
I'm at loss of words from the sudden turn of events. She amazed me, "amazed" being a perfect word for this case.
-- Just a minute, what do you mean by that? Symptomatic improvements... My illness is going to be cured?
-- Dumbass. How can it be cured? I'm talking about mental state. Question is, "Do you regret almost killing a human"?

... Terrifying. Not the content of her words - her glare is terrifying. The eyes of Touma Mato in her best favor don't see a human in me. Her carelessness comes from the fact that if I move even a finger, a trigger is going to come off in my chair, but she still doesn't see me even in point-blank range. Even garbage or dirt are looked upon better than that.
-- So, if the psychiatrist says that everything's okay, I'll have ambulatory treatment?
-- Yeah. It's going so well you get nauseous, right? We're not doing charity here, we can't waste our money on civilians in vain.
When we get spare, we want to fill our wallets. Hisaori, do you know how much every one of you corpsies cost to contain? Keeping a whole C building of patients without a hope for cure just doesn't make sense to me.
To contain and to keep alive are synonyms. I don't want to talk with her a second longer, but if Ishizue-san is doing it, I can't back off either.

-- Am I guaranteed normal life after discharge? After all, I'm just used to give an example of a carrier patient getting back to society.
-- Wow.. what an unpleasant worldly wisdom. Ah yes, two years ago there were talks about human rights... You're right, this decision was made for the clinic, not for its patients. We had the health center here gathering possessed from all around the country. No discharged in ten years - what a great image.
Thoughtful consent. Did they select some patients that are harmless to let outside, and chose me among them?
Two years ago there was a debate between "protectors", calling carriers "victims", and a group screaming "murderers". Some were saying that "protectors" were backed up by some influential people and this clinic just barely avoided dismounting. Some underground debates seem to continue even now.

-- Well, that's just one of the reasons. Main is money. The budget wasn't made for us until this year. We don't have issues, we don't give much income, and consumption is high, and we want to get rid of some unadequate patients. While there is still some sense, time and money are unlimited, but, to be honest, we should save up where we can.
She probably says what is meaningless to say to give us the reality. "Don't even think that; Clinic will never see you as normal people. Even when you're outside, don't dare to think of yourself as adequate."

-- ...I see. If you behave, you're chosen as candidate for discharge, is that right?
-- Yeah. We want to discharge at least five. And in a year, if you keep pretending to be a good boy, I'll recommend you. Nice, isn't it? No need to resent. Just don't screw up.
-- Don't be like that. I... really resent, you know.
-- Great. Kinui-san's efforts don't go to waste. Just one thing, Hisaori. Recently you got quite lively. You can see that clearly even through the monitors. Did you get a new toy?
Her glare alone makes me want to vomit.
If I really get out, first thing I need to do is kill this woman. Even I can understand that, and I'm bad with intuition stuff. She's the enemy that you kill before she kills you first.
-- Ah, right... Is Ishizue-san a candidate for discharge too?
-- What?
I'm feel pressed to the floor by hellish aura of Touma Mato.
Rumors are that Ishizue-san is called her "favorite toy".... Well, I wouldn't say so, judging by her reaction.
Touma Mato tries to look gently now, but her face expression gives her out. Those were the movements of tiny muscles that no one but me could see, but she was definitely compassionate. Touma Mato doesn't want Ishizue-san to be discharged not because it's dangerous, but because she's pitying him.
-- Dr. Touma, what about me? Recommendation is not approval, after all. Thanks for selecting me candidate, but you don't want to let me out, do you?
-- Ah, you're alright. You're stubborn, so to let you out is easiest... You won't get into any dirt, and you'll make it through anywhere. So much that I want to make you my personal pony when this all settles down.
Touma Mato maliciously curves her mouth and roughly glares at me.
Horrifying. That just now was her true opinion, that woman won't say a lie even in front of a carrier, compassion or favor won't wave her decisions the slightest. She's the embodiment of law, that raised an iron hammer above us and waits for our first misstep, to wear our excuses and drop it down. That's how Touma Mato is. But nevertheless the chat was surprisingly pleasant. After some questioning it seems that Ishizue-san will get an admission for discharge in half a year's time, and for me it's a year. Thanks to Fortune suddenly smiling at me.
-- Ah, yeah, one more thing. There's a clinic's request here... Someone from D building wants to meet you very much. They approved the meeting already, go make a visit tomorrow morning. Here's a pen and paper, want to borrow them to write your will?

Of course, it's not a request, it's an order. I forgot that for the last couple years. For a pleasant talk they ask for a proper reward.


In a convoy with head physician, Dr. Dolittle and three watchers... I mean, guards, I'm going to D building. I can't refuse anyway, also that would be bonus point for me, and I'm a little curious myself.
The one who wants to meet with me is that newcomer one, that was brought here half a year ago. That what Touma Mato told me about without any particular interest seemed to be a question of life and death to clinic.
What was after my talk with Mato-san? After I came back to my chamber, I was begged to go there for half a day by a head physician. I was amazed that we have one in clinic, and my image of clinic's world got completely overturned after I saw staff, normally ordering us around, obey orders of their patient.

Head physician was with me until we reached waiting room in D building, after which he retreated to building C. Looks like D building is so alienated to people that building C feels like a safe zone in comparison...
To start with, everything around looks rough. The floor and walls are same as those other buildings have, but they look feeble, like they've been in ruins for past ten years.
-- Well, let's go. There are other patients here, so be quiet.
Look, even Dr. Dolittle is nervous. Guards sincerely hold their weapons in front of them. Submachineguns... Hilarious. Are we in front of a triumphal arch?


Feels like I'm taking a step into a building that is to be demolished a moment before it is brought down. I do a step forward, and something crumbles somewhere in a building. Of course, it's an illusion. Construction of D building was the most costly - they hold patients in the latest stage of the syndrome here, they can't afford to make it weak.

Narrow, long passageway goes on and on. Each six meters it intersects with another ones like that, and the sight is same everywhere. It looks like D building is a labirynth made of intersections like that... Reminds me of insides of a Rubik's cube.
Dimly lit with electric lights ash-colored world. No windows, no doors, even chambers are unnoticeable. It was a primitive world made of ash walls, a strange world of an abstract painting. And as I walk here, I become a part of it.

Dr. Dolittle turns for the third time, to left now. I don't see the way back, already for a while now. Suddenly I lag behind Dolittle for about one second, and hallway in front of me catches my eyes.


The passageway was scarlet-black. If you looked closer, it was a passageway made of various dead bodies. Cemented part of it turned into a pipe of flesh. In it, there was mother, with blood-soaked stomach, and father, with blood gushing from his neck.
Ahh... Even though I wasn't next to them back then, the image of a heartbroken Hisaori Shinya is going to reflect in tears...
-- Hisaori-san, it's wrong way. This way.
Dolittle's voice distracts me before I step there.


-- You shouldn't look into unnecessary passageways. We don't feel it, but sometimes it badly affects patients.
I ask to clarify, what does "badly affect" mean.
-- For an example: In a chamber you were looking at just now, two patients went missing.
There were patients who, like me, looked into different passageways. Then they walked into a chamber, and went missing... Obviously, they were hidden by a D building patient. Question is - how and where did he hide them? Did he crush their bodies to small sizes and hide them under his bed? Did he absorb them into his body?
When doctors stormed him with questions, he grinned and answered:
"They're thrashing about in my head!"


I'm walking in a way not to lose sight of Dolittle. I am to meet a girl around fourteen years old. Brought here in pieces. No hands or legs, her torso minced.

Because of some mistake, she was still alive. Even A-syndrome infected - even possessed - die properly when they're killed. She's going to be bound to bed for the rest of her life, or maybe she's only alive in clinical sense - a brain floating in an aquarium or something like that...


There are enough of rumors like that in D building. There's a horror story about a pool filled with guts, and since it was a single patient from the start, who was, to general inconvenience, still alive, it's impossible to clean there.
The pool dors are securely locked, so it's uncomfirmed. No one feels like making sure of it, anyway.


Dolittle opens a door.
A narrow tunnel appears in front of us. Looks like that's the last station. About ten meters inside it, there is another steel door.
-- As soon as you enter, this door is going to be locked. We'll wait here, so don't worry and talk to your heart's content. Ah, right: a minute after this door gets closed, the inside door will open.
Sickening. Maybe that's really a death sentence?
-- I know the answer already, but I'll ask anyway - can I borrow one of those from guards? For self-defense, you know.
-- Ha-ha-ha, don't exaggerate, it's not a wild beast there. By the way, they wouldn't open fire either. That sort of stuff isn't even a threat to her. What works are the multi-layered steel walls.
-- ...


I regret my hastiness. Life and curiosity switched places for some reason.

I walk forward through the passageway. Behind me, the door closes - bang. In a minute, the front door opens. Bang!
-- Huh?..
I felt like I was warped in time. Or like I'm now in an imaginary world, after parting with life.
On the other side of a door was a gym, though still resembling ruins.

From the eight meter high ceiling, in the very middle of the room, that looked like a gym of an abandoned school, a human-size doll is hanging down. Bang! Oh, she jumped. Bound by a steel chain, doll, like a pendulum, flew sideways and hit cement wall. Bang. Pendulum, as expected, brings doll back.
It is caught by a human in the middle of a gym: "Hop!". The doll appears to be a sandbag, and it is patted by a gloved hand of incredibly resembling a flower...
-- Oh, you're here already. Hi-hi, Hisaori-san! I'm sorry, can you please stand there for a bit? I'm almost finished with my daily norm.
Bang. She does a wide step forward, swinging her right fist. The sandbag vertically, like dolphin, flies up to the eight meter ceiling.
It's the same carrier that was brought here half a year ago without a hope for recovery. That fourteen year old girl, who looked nothing else but twenty, was Ishizue-san's blood-related sister.


-- Are you sure your body is sturdy enough? - she was able to diagnose the carrier with a single sentence.
We got along right away; that comment was same as my own impression from long ago.
-- Me? The next day after I've shown symptoms, I was caught by that woman. She shot me down, cut me down, chopped me down... If she didn't want a lab sample, I think I would be dead gone by now.

Her presence was strong, overwhelming the feeling of reality of what's happening. If you think of C building patients as of ghosts or corpsies, then she's literally a monster. Even for D building - stretched, but realistic - she's like an imbalanced manga character. Later Ishizue-san would say: "If Mato-san is a hero, then that is a superhuman". Those are really fitting categories. Any medic would say she's not human anymore.

And with her own hands Touma Mato brought this monster to half-death?

-- Well, I was a kid back then - but that's not an excuse. She came there - that was heaven's punishment for not giving a damn about reality.
Taking her boxing gloves off, she makes an awkward smile to cover her embarrassment. Long, silky, black hair. Antipode of Ishizue-san. Incomparable beauty - I think that's what it's called.
-- Next thing I knew, I was here. I learned just a single lesson out of it, after all. If you value your life, and you're not me - don't deny her. How about you, Hisaori-san?
I tell her the tale from two years ago. She wanted to know it all, and I tell her everything from the start.
Killed parents - no, now that everyone accepted it as accident - watched my parents die, and pushed my older sister named Hisaori Makina, trying to save them, out of the flat - that's the story of Hisaori Shinya. Sister didn't die, but hurt her hand from the fall. She paid for her life with a dysfunctional hand.

-- Yeah, unfortunate... Didn't work out as planned...

Yeah. From long ago, nothing goes well.
Even when it all happened, everything was going slim, but after it's over - I'm back to starting point.
It's like... The winning prize was bankruptcy. Like the game that you play itself is made so that no one ends up well.

-- Heee. Do you like to play musical chairs?

I don't have interest in games like that.
Even in such a simple game as musical chairs, I never could win. I like watching it instead of playing. I don't want to sit on the chair, and I wasn't admiring those that conquered their seats. I was content with just sitting on the floor, watching winners and learning from them.

"Stupid... Bye-bye, Shinya..."

Things took a strange turn, when...
-- Aaah. Let me warn you. Try not to find an ideal chair.
-- What?
-- Well, you're an observer, right? Someone's already sitting on a chair. For Hisaori-san, there are no unoccupied chairs. And when you find an ideal chair, you won't be able to sit on it, until you remove the one sitting there already. Right? Watching and learning is good, but if you start dreaming about it - you'll turn into ugly possessed again.

-- You're locked here because you can't hold yourself together, - she concluded. - If you would want to sit on a chair, things would happen...
"That's why be more careful." - I was scolded by a girl five years younger than me.

Someone who is already sitting on it. Can't sit before getting rid of the real one... But her concern isn't needed. Because until now I didn't ever want to sit on a single chair.


Our talk after that became completely like girls'. We talked for almost an hour, and we agreed to meet once a week. That said, I get up from the floor.

-- Oh, by the way, how do you know about me, when you're not leaving here?

-- Ah, that... You're talking with my brother, right? I felt like you're a nice guy. And actually, I have a small favor to ask of you.

She sticks out her tongue.
Collected, like an adult woman, she gives me a smile of a naughty girl.

-- Can you please somehow delay the discharge of my brother?


Of course, I can't do that kind of a favor.

I could give Ishizue-san some problems, and I wouldn't mind doing so for his sister, but because of the tricks needed for that I would have to sacrifice myself, and that would delay my own discharge. I mean, no, that woman would surely exclude me from the candidate list forever.
Tormented by the dilemma between helping Ishizue-san or his sister, I couldn't fulfill her wish until the very end... Well, whatever. I didn't need to sacrifice myself after all.
-- Hi there, Ishizue-san. Shogi today?
-- ?..
While solving a shogi etude, Ishizue-san is looking at me, puzzled. He reacts just like when we first met.
-- Are you okay? It's me, Hisaori.
-- Hisaori?.. Ah, right, you fit Hisaori image. Sorry for comparing it too long. I only see you during the day, after all. So, what's up with that? Did you fall?
-- Ah, that? That's after surgery. Everything was bad there for a while, so I just told them to amputate it.

Ishizue-san nods, murmurs: "Is that so.", - and writes it down to his notepad. Single-handed, but how agile.

-- I came to say goodbye today. We won't see each other again.
Even though routine life of buildings doesn't change, days and months are passing by. We rejected the world, which is amazingly caring about us, and almost irresponsibly helps the outcast.
-- Yeah. You're weird. It's taboo to talk to other patients here. They did tell you that when carriers communicate, a devil gets attached to the one you talk to?
-- You're the one to talk, Ishizue-san. I'm not talking to those that seem unable to answer, and you don't know the limit to it... I wanted to ask this for a while, why do you not feel danger?
-- That's my disorder.
-- Not that you're forgetting everything?
-- I can fight that one, so whatever. And this one isn't that bad either.
"This one" is that bad, what are those wide gestures?.. I can sort of understand his sister's worries.
-- You should instead tell me, what was up with you, Hisaori? Why did you talk to me all of a sudden? I thought no one here has interest in anyone but himself.
-- I guess so. But I only have interest in everyone but myself.
-- Wow, - Ishizue-san stops his etude. Gray-haired and single-handed guy watches me with his eyes, without a trace of interest on that topic: - And why is that?
-- Maybe because I can't be allowed to think about myself? I'm very temperamental, so to say. It's hard for me to keep my emotions under control, from the time I was a kid. I get mad, I get depressed, and I can't stop until the reason is gone.
For example, if I read a sad story, it's getting into me, and I can't get over it myself. The story doesn't solve itself, so I'm depressing until I think of a deconstruction for the plot.

While I was a kid, it didn't bother me, but near the end of grade school I had a personal crisis. My feelings were my greatest enemy, so I had to take the urgent measure of rejecting myself.

-- Yeah, that's inconvenient. Is that temperamentality congenital?
-- I think I had the roots for it. But it fully bloomed around fifth grade of grade school.
I don't remember it clearly, but my sister said I saw a ghost and, uh, went loony. So, we lived on a third floor of a cooperative high-rise building. I was standing on a balcony, repeating: mom, dad, cool, there's a human burning!
-- Wow, what a story. Was a human burning, uh, still alive?
-- Yes, still alive. It looked like he's supposed to be like that - black from the burns, he was crossing the yard diagonally! No, now I can think of some real explanations why did it happen like that. But for me as a child it was a ghost and nothing else.
Ishizue-san frowned.
After his sister became my best friend, I had some regret left. He listened to this story not as to a tale of a sort, but as to a witness's story. He made a puzzled face, because he was contemplating the kid that was treated like that.
And there - adagio.
Just like on the day we met, lazy music sounds.

-- It's time for me to go back. So it's time for farewells. Should we do a handshake, in the end?
I extend my right hand.
-- No, sorry. My credo is no handshakes.
Ishizue-san firmly rejects it. He denied the handshake itself, not the handshake with Hisaori Shinya.
If that's so, there's nothing I can do. Everyone has something they don't like. And we can't do a normal handshake, after all.

Without touching, we say goodbye in words alone.


A new day. "As this is the very last time", Dolittle told me, "his disease is that he has no memories of what happened during the day."

Now some riddles were solved. That's what his forgetfulness was about, the one I couldn't find consistency in.
-- ...
Only now, when we can't see each other again, I realize that he was in this building not without a reason.
Ishizue Arika is reborn every day.
If you round it up, he's a guy who lives only "today". And while being like that, he was still leading a human life. A human without definite present is living while looking forward to future.

Even when his sister appeared to be a biological monster.

I think Ishizue Arika has very high mental endurance.
That ability is the one I don't have, even though I probably need it.
Whatever, enough of the clinic's stories.
I'm going to be discharged soon. When I'm finally discharged, first thing first I'll do is pay a visit to Ishizue-san. Fortunately, we're from the same prefecture. If we both live to that day, we'll meet again soon - that is life.


Next subchapter: 1\Hide(R) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=913956&viewfull=1#post913956)

August 10th, 2012, 09:35 PM
Oh my god there's a translation effort going on. Go man go! Achieve glory or awaken the arai in the process!

August 10th, 2012, 10:28 PM
You should get in touch with arai and Canonrap.

I think they have scattered chapters already finished from both the first and second book.

It would save you some effort.

August 11th, 2012, 01:43 AM
You should get in touch with arai and Canonrap.

I think they have scattered chapters already finished from both the first and second book.

It would save you some effort.
I'm now doing as I was told was the only way to contact arai - patiently waiting in IRC. Until then I'll just continue on this.

Oh yes, that's russian->english translation, by the way. I don't know how long of a path it made between japanese and russian, so it would be totally kickass if any moonspeaker could check for vital contradictions between this one and original.

August 11th, 2012, 01:52 AM
Try asking Cruor.

He is the only one who cares about DDD, and I think he mentioned he reads Japanese?

August 11th, 2012, 03:00 AM
While I do care about DDD I unfortunately do not have the knowledge to read Japanese. So, yeah, useless guy here.

Still, good effort for actually doing shit with DDD. It makes me giddy to see more of it.

August 11th, 2012, 05:27 AM
Contratulations Enhance. For the translation of something which was originally in moonrunes into English you have now established yourself as a minor Deity.

bahamut zero
August 11th, 2012, 11:02 AM
Все град повышения, мастер кириллице :neco_arc:

August 11th, 2012, 11:09 AM
If we've broken the arai-barrier on this...would you like me to help, enhance?

August 11th, 2012, 12:15 PM
Being Makina is suffering, she was a cool character.

Although being Shinya is even more suffering.

Last time I checked Russians were starting FOMALHAUT already, the chinese have it all translated though.

August 11th, 2012, 12:30 PM
Woot chinese people :3 (btw you never answered my VM :< )

August 11th, 2012, 12:33 PM
Your what.

Btw, Chinese don't use Phantom, they use 怪物 (monster?)

August 11th, 2012, 12:52 PM
Visitor message. And yeah, monster (lit. strange being).

August 11th, 2012, 12:57 PM
I did not reply because I'm almost done with it.

Just one page, that is a bitch to redraw, the last page to be precise.

August 11th, 2012, 03:09 PM
Oh, k.

August 12th, 2012, 12:40 AM
So yeah, I just checked my log.

You literally left 5 minutes before arai came in. lolololol

August 12th, 2012, 12:53 PM
Все град повышения, мастер кириллице :neco_arc:
All shower of hail increase, master to cyryllic!

Last time I checked Russians were starting FOMALHAUT already, the chinese have it all translated though.

They have both volumes translated now completely, if I'm correct.

- - - Updated - - -

So yeah, I just checked my log.

You literally left 5 minutes before arai came in. lolololol

- - - Updated - - -

If we've broken the arai-barrier on this...would you like me to help, enhance?
Any help would be cool. I'm not so sure in neither [what] I'm translating nor [how] (I'm afraid to get any part distorted from original, so I try to keep as close to translation as possible)

August 12th, 2012, 01:13 PM
Perhaps this will usher in a new age, the DDD age, wherein we get actual fanart of and discussions on Nasu's least-loved series.

August 12th, 2012, 01:24 PM
Perhaps this will usher in a new age, the DDD age, wherein we get actual fanart of and discussions on Nasu's least-loved series.
Least loved series are usually my favorites.

August 12th, 2012, 01:25 PM
Perhaps this will usher in a new age, the DDD age, wherein we get actual fanart of and discussions on Nasu's least-loved series.


August 12th, 2012, 08:14 PM

August 12th, 2012, 08:45 PM
Regular updates? Madness. (Two posts within 3 days of each other count as regular updates right?) I will probably start reading this when it gets closer to completion. Thanks for the continued effort.

August 12th, 2012, 08:47 PM
Regular updates? Madness. (Two posts within 3 days of each other count as regular updates right?) I will probably start reading this when it gets closer to completion. Thanks for the continued effort.
No problems. It's replies like that that keep me motivated. :neco_arc:

Two posts within 3 days of each other count as regular updates right?
It was actually a forced break (going to a pc-less internet-less village), I'm planning on doing updates on daily basis.

August 12th, 2012, 09:57 PM
I don't remember much about the Kanata and Makina meeting, other than Kanata excercising with her punching/sandbags and that they somehow did get along, and talked a bit about Arika.

Oh, there was also no handshaking .

Thanks for the translations, and looking forward to the rest.

August 13th, 2012, 05:43 AM
Thank you for your effort, Enhance.

I already read the first chapter a few months ago, the entire setting seems rather grim and at least Junk the Eater had some part that disgusted me quite a bit, but it was interesting and I liked it quite a bit.

bahamut zero
August 13th, 2012, 11:08 AM
Just asking, would you mind hosting this on baka-tsuki, like the Fate/Zero Project?

August 13th, 2012, 11:09 AM
I think he needs to get it approved if he wants to do that. Not sure how that works.

August 13th, 2012, 11:11 AM
Enhance talked to me about talking to arai. Arai is still planning to do HandS but nothing after that (so, I'll probably end up trying formal hunt). Enhance is still going to keep translating HandS, though.

bahamut zero
August 13th, 2012, 11:20 AM
I think he needs to get it approved if he wants to do that. Not sure how that works.

I think that's just talking to the baka-tsuki staff

August 13th, 2012, 01:23 PM
Note, yet again, that the translation is second-hand. Which means that:
a) It isn't accurate, moreover, as Arai kindly pointed out, it lacks some Nasu tricks, leaving out some impressions.
I'll try my best (with Lianru's help) to fix that, though :neco_arc:
b) It has original authors who made Russian translation I'm basing it on, I think we would need to credit them too (if you want to host it anywhere), I guess.

August 13th, 2012, 01:26 PM
Why bother hosting it.

Let's just make pdfs once is done and let it remain as a hipster light novel.

bahamut zero
August 13th, 2012, 02:18 PM
I really like the Baka-Reader app ;__;

August 13th, 2012, 02:20 PM
I really like the Baka-Reader app ;__;

Maybe you should push for it to get hosted, just to spite the hipsters.

August 13th, 2012, 02:23 PM
I really like the Baka-Reader app ;__;

Then you are doing this for your own interests. How selfish.

bahamut zero
August 13th, 2012, 02:24 PM
Well, I would do it (properly), so I just wanted to know if Enhance (and Lianru) are okay with that.

August 13th, 2012, 02:26 PM
I don't really mind either way, to be honest.

August 13th, 2012, 02:29 PM
I don't particularly care, but I worry about this version and arai's version clashing later on.

August 13th, 2012, 02:38 PM
We can just have two versions after all. I do understand Arai's version will most certainly be of better quality, but I still want to make this one as good as possible. It's okay if it's later replaced with Arai's on B-T, though.

August 13th, 2012, 02:40 PM
I don't really mind then.

bahamut zero
August 13th, 2012, 03:53 PM

August 13th, 2012, 07:45 PM
Updated, \0 done.

P.S. Look at her chest in the last image and say "That fourteen year old girl, who didn't look any older than twelve" while looking me straight in the eye.

August 13th, 2012, 08:27 PM
That fourteen year old girl, who didn't look any older than twelve.

August 13th, 2012, 08:28 PM
Jailbaits these days...

August 13th, 2012, 09:13 PM
I want to live where Nasu is, so that I can find all these fourteen-year-olds he's talking about.

August 14th, 2012, 01:25 AM
Protip: He lives in Japan, so you won't.

August 14th, 2012, 01:28 AM
I want to live where Nasu is, so that I can find all these fourteen-year-olds he's talking about.

Burn, go burn in the Special Hell.

August 14th, 2012, 03:52 PM
Jailbaits these days...


^ Enjoy your despair.

August 14th, 2012, 04:11 PM
I guessed correctly for every single one. I feel like the smartest and I am the king of the world. Not that I have any proof of course but it's a personal feeling that exceeds public glory.

August 14th, 2012, 04:14 PM
Let it be known that if terra is arrested for certain offenses he has no excuse.

Nonetheless, let us curse nature and the world for producing such people at illegal ages. (I think I got 2 or 3 wrong when I came across that ages ago)

August 14th, 2012, 04:20 PM
Hey, it might not work EVERY time. There might be a high level secret boss lurking about out in the wild. Honestly, I was shocked when I looked at what they said were the ages.

August 14th, 2012, 09:41 PM
I only missed three. Like, picture number three, not three pictures.

August 14th, 2012, 10:03 PM
I only missed three. Like, picture number three, not three pictures.

I only missed two. Like, two pictures.

The wonders of taking advantage of poor test design. Just 12 all the way. (Except the last one because she was totally 20.)

August 14th, 2012, 10:46 PM
I did horribly, am I going to jail yet?

August 15th, 2012, 03:03 AM
^ Nope, it's perfectly normal. The sole purpose of their existence is to deceive you.

Conclusion: Always ask for their passport before doing anything.

August 15th, 2012, 05:27 AM
BTW I did terribly on that test.

August 15th, 2012, 05:27 PM
BTW I did terribly on that test.

But it's ok, you will never get laid, so you are not at risk of being arrested, at all.

Rest easy, neckbeard.

August 16th, 2012, 04:22 AM
I just cheated and skipped right to the bottom to see who got to puberty early. :sader:

August 16th, 2012, 04:29 AM
But where's the answer key in real life, Apple? Where is it!?

August 16th, 2012, 04:57 AM
Well you could always ask. :neco_arc:

How do you guys get good at identifying ages anyway? Look for wrinkle marks?

August 16th, 2012, 04:58 AM
If they're trying to look old, they're young. If they're trying to look young, they're old.

August 16th, 2012, 05:04 AM

August 16th, 2012, 05:41 AM
But where's the answer key in real life, Apple? Where is it!?


and skipped right to the bottom

August 16th, 2012, 06:46 AM
Hey Enhance, where's that next update? I thought you wanted daily updates. You discover that was just too tough for you?

August 16th, 2012, 07:03 AM
Hey Enhance, where's that next update? I thought you wanted daily updates. You discover that was just too tough for you?
Nope, I already said that it was my birthday the day before yesterday so there wouldn't be one then. And now I have my pc at home dismounted (forum'ing from ipod, lol) , but trying to translate whenever free at work. Next update would be somewhere in next 6 hours if everything goes smoothly (I have like 30% done by now).

Cool to know someone actually keeps track of that o:

August 16th, 2012, 07:17 AM
It's the first sign of a stalker.

Run while you still can.

August 16th, 2012, 10:42 AM
Okay, updated.

Smaller-than-usual update, I blame my PC, you blame me, have fun

P.S. I'm getting some PC parts today, if I don't get too caught up playing with them, I'll update again later.

August 17th, 2012, 01:35 AM
Last time I checked Russians were starting FOMALHAUT already
for now we have finished s.vs.s-1 and starting s.vs.s-2. you're welcome.

August 17th, 2012, 04:34 AM
for now we have finished s.vs.s-1 and starting s.vs.s-2. you're welcome.
While you're here, I'd like to thank you (and/or the other one guy there) for the Russian translation, as I'm using it as the main source for this one. Keep up the good work.

Edit: Ah, wait, wasn't yours JtheE? Well, anyway, thanks to guys who worked on it.

August 17th, 2012, 09:11 AM
While you're here, I'd like to thank you (and/or the other one guy there) for the Russian translation, as I'm using it as the main source for this one. Keep up the good work.

Edit: Ah, wait, wasn't yours is JtheE? Well, anyway, thanks to guys who worked on it.
yes, at first i have translated JtheE from arai's text, but everything else has been translated jap->rus. you can say "as is":) thank you too for spread this brillian novel to other fans.

August 17th, 2012, 10:11 AM
Another small update. It's getting to the interesting part, it seems!

August 17th, 2012, 02:08 PM
Ishizue's wit is probably my favorite thing about DDD's writing.

August 17th, 2012, 03:07 PM
for now we have finished s.vs.s-1 and starting s.vs.s-2. you're welcome.
Now that's something interesting.

I'm eagerly waiting for -second volume in general- S.vs.S . Anyone here read it? How is it?

August 17th, 2012, 06:52 PM
So Enhance, any idea when you are going to be done translating the 1st book?

August 17th, 2012, 07:04 PM
So Enhance, any idea when you are going to be done translating the 1st book?
Nope, that completely depends on my circumstances now.
HandS(R) probably will be done tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, but HandS(L) is larger, so it would take about a week or so. Plus, after that Lian was gonna proofcheck it ( <3 ) so it will take some more time.

August 17th, 2012, 07:06 PM
Okay, just curious since I haven't been checking how far each update takes you and there isn't a handy dandy index like Baka Tsuki.

August 17th, 2012, 09:03 PM
Okay, just curious since I haven't been checking how far each update takes you and there isn't a handy dandy index like Baka Tsuki.
Well, someone was intending to do something about B-T, I don't know much about it though.

If you want to, I can place a relative chart w/ percentage whatnot fancy stuff you'd like.

August 17th, 2012, 09:51 PM
That would be nice if it isn't too much of a bother.

August 20th, 2012, 11:55 AM
When the times comes, is it alright to post my translated version of the first Volume Appendix here? I consider useless to make a new thread. It resembles a timeline.

Although arai has many of the events in the timeline at fuyuki, but whatever.

August 20th, 2012, 12:02 PM
Perfectly alright. Is it this one?

Edit: Found the original. looks better.

August 20th, 2012, 12:03 PM
Yes, in the meantime I'll try to fix a few sentences. The way it is right now sounds kinda funny.

bahamut zero
August 20th, 2012, 01:32 PM
Well, someone was intending to do something about B-T, I don't know much about it though.

Well, I would need you to create an account on Baka-Tsuki and then to write in the corresponding thread that you are indeed the translator for this project and you are working on it. stupid rules.

August 20th, 2012, 02:40 PM
Well, I would need you to create an account on Baka-Tsuki and then to write in the corresponding thread that you are indeed the translator for this project and you are working on it. stupid rules.
No problem with that, just give me the link.

bahamut zero
August 20th, 2012, 02:50 PM
Ok, just give me a while~

bahamut zero
August 20th, 2012, 03:30 PM
Finished, go ahead: http://www.baka-tsuki.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=5356&p=156694#p156694

August 20th, 2012, 07:10 PM
Thanks to all those who are translating this thing or are helping somehow. I am really interested in this novel as well.
(Although I will probably only start reading it after the first volume is done.)

August 20th, 2012, 07:12 PM
In fact, if you guys like that B-T reader so much, why don't I just make a reader like that for nrvnqsr or something. iOS ones are using objective C, or so I heard, this can't be too hard >_>

On related note, I'm gonna wait for analgesic to work and get on with it tonight.

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks to all those who are translating this thing or are helping somehow. I am really interested in this novel as well.
(Although I will probably only start reading it after the first volume is done.)
Volume parts are not that connected, they're like KnK - thrown off in timeline. So it's perfectly alright to read Arai's J the E already.

August 20th, 2012, 10:27 PM
Will try to tackle the second volume appendix, do you mind?

I always think of the first volume from the last to the first chapter. So formalhunt-->HandS (R)--(L)--->J. The E. Just seems to work better that way for me. If you follow this order you get the Shinya twist. It's easier to track than KnK imo, and J.The.E is a side story after all.

August 20th, 2012, 11:22 PM
Nope, of course I don't mind. Also, if you want, you can give me the image/text so I append/merge it to the first post. Update in some minutes, also.

August 21st, 2012, 12:19 AM



I may be not the one to talk, but...
That was the worst and the best return to society.

-- There. You can leave today.

Mato-san stated that and left, saying she's got something to do and that we'll meet soon. Woah, wasn't that too easy? I thought some trouble was bound to pile up, but clinic handled it all in a blink of eye. Like a deal in the shop.
-- Don't you think it all happened too fast, Doctor?
One hour before my discharge.
I came to Dr. Dolittle's confessional to say my goodbyes and decided to be soggy for a while.
-- Isn't that great? Touma-san is courteous to you in a way. She's kind to those in fragile positions.
-- Ew, that's such an obvious lie. I'm worried about you, Doc. You don't know women.
If that was the kindness shown to weak, then Touma Mato failed to express it. Maybe she's possessed herself?
-- Well, let's talk about Touma-san some other time. Instead, let's back to what you want advice with, since you came here.
-- Bullseye. I've lived in this health center for so long that I became self-contained. I want to carelessly talk with people, but you see...
-- Ha-ha-ha. "I just can't integrate into society." - it was your complaint when you just came here.
-- It isn't funny. I'm still bad with it. Well, I'm going to go outside. Everyone's doing their best striving for glory, for success... I can understand that, it's enough for living a normal life. I heard that if I just start striving for it myself, I'm going to integrate somehow. But... I can't even pretend to. Sounds awfully girlish, doesn't it? Touma Mato's scolding didn't help, so I'm looking for hope in some kind words now.
-- That's a problem. You are going to have to pretend as so... But after all, that is nothing else but a motive for human to curb human. Whether one's striving for glory, money, or power, one's doing it because he sincerely wants to be acknowledged by others. "How successful I am compared to others?", or, "I want to show my value". Get that?
-- I know. But I can't think of it as important.
-- Obviously. You don't even think that you have a value.
-- ...
Looks like I failed at some point. Dolittle stings me today.
-- Listen. One who wasn't loved without wanting nothing in return - human, pressured by society, has already lost value of himself, in a way. He wasn't loved, so he didn't get a place in life. He can't even think that he has a value. For all his life he's looking down.
-- That deficiency, that minus cannot be compensated, - he continues. - Human himself can't compensate that defect.
Dolittle stayed silent for a while.
-- There is only one solution. If you don't see it yourself, you have to get in touch with the one who acknowledges your value. You don't need self-confidence, you need someone that needs you. Search for it, with your life on the line. You should live for that.
-- ...
What a climax. I underestimated good ol' Dolittle. I can't even blush before such dramaticism. The one who gave him the nickname of a literature hero was a genius.
Well, it doesn't matter. I was a bit touched by Dolittle's words. I don't perceive them, but he showed me the right direction, clean and clear.
-- So I have to search for my soulmate of a sort? Is there really such a convenient person out there?
-- Ha-ha-ha, I can't promise that. Did you make any friends in clinic?
"Yes", I answer.
Dolittle cheerfully smiles:
-- Then it's okay, you've got all chances!
Just that... I made friends, but what's the point if I forget them (and I'll forget them, most probably)?
-- Oh, they're calling for us. Go up to the A building's roof. If you want me to, I can keep you company until the helipad. Wouldn't it be heavy to carry all your stuff yourself?
-- Nah, I'm not a child, and there's only one bag of it. But was that me, or did I just hear something cool? Like, "helicopter".
-- Touma-san didn't tell you? You can only get to this clinic by air. The roof is like main entrance.
-- Got it. Guess you wouldn't have any fugitives this way.
And anyway.
Slowly though, but I'm getting it now. This is not a clinic. This is a natural purgatory.


A-syndrome infected can't move to another prefecture. Dangerous ones are under strict national control, observation, and guidance, so I was sent back to my old place right after discharge, Shikura town in C prefecture.
Helicopter first, then a car - three hours on the road, summary. I thought I'd be blindfolded or something, but no, they just gave me a normal ride. Like I'm some juvenile delinquent on accounting.
Even though I was quickly moved to my place, and in just three hours I was at my good old home, I still felt the reality of those isolation buildings. It still feels real, when you can get to the other world in a couple of hours.
-- As your relatives refuse to accept you, - explains in a blank tone the man with the short hedgehog-style haircut, sitting near me in a black suit and shades - you're going to an estabilishment. We'll destroy your driving license. Bring the registration and insurance papers to that instance tomorrow.

Government was distributing residences to A-syndrome infected, and to victims of those. Something like municipal apartment. One old municipal dorm for victims and underpaid was refactored for our needs. Well, I'm saying "our" needs, but I was the only rehabilitated carrier there. Maybe some more will come later, but for the main part it still remained a place for the brotherhood of low-paid.
Flat rent is a four digit number, ten times lower than usual, one that any landlady would be amazed with. For carriers lacking ability to get a job a small bonus is given for living expenses. Another bonus is the hedgehog-medical expert neighbor, that does an investigation when something unpleasant happens.
-- Well, I'll leave the next procedure to the manager. Once a day, at 9 AM or at 6 PM, call this number.
Forgetting to mention the most important part - what happens if you don't call - hedgehog left.
"And so...", I mumble, fix the bag in my hand and look at the crumbling building.
Concrete and metal six-story building, windows pressed to the inside. By the looks of it, there are eight apartments on each floor. The entrance is narrow, desolate and dirty. Air is incredibly musty, only yakuza hang out in that sort of places.
-- Hm, not bad.
Compared to that hospital, not outside look, not inside look, not the dirt matter at all.
Yahoo, congratulations! Goodbye, gray clinic! My new life starts here, in this mouldering happy flophouse number 13 in Shikura town!

-- Ahh, a newcomer? Well... I won't say a thing even if you look like a devil, but no conflicts, alright? Here's your key. Lights and water will be on tomorrow, no complaining today.
The beautiful new sheet of my life was ruined in just a few seconds.
-- What an unfriendly old woman...
Nevertheless, it's good.
With such a negligent watch, with such a negligent supervisor, I just have to stay inside, and she won't come to my apartment. I started humming a song from such a good news while getting up to third floor. There were no numbers on doors whatsoever, and the door told me about its thirty year old age with a screech.
-- Oh? You're the newcomer?
I was in a battle with the doorknob at the moment, which refused to turn, when some guy leisurely walked up to me. Amazingly cordial for such a place, he could live on a Paradise island; wearing makeup, aged around thirty. Dude, don't wear that Hawaiian shirt, it suits you too much.
-- Wow, I finally have a neighbor! I'm Niijima, what's your name?
-- Hi. I'm Ishizue. Name's Arika, written as "shozai".
-- Oh. You have some stupidly-childish name, boy. He-he-he, - laughs Niijima.
Later we'll get to know how much more stupid is his own name, but that's a different story.
-- Glad to make an acquaintance. If I need something, can I ask you?
-- Sure. Ah, how great, the young people decorate the house. Though Arika-chan, you're slightly not my type~
That's great. Gay people in Hawaiian shirts are slightly not my type either.


One month passed so fast I didn't notice.
I'm going for the casual shopping. Surveys
around the building, full freedom after job search. I got so carried away with the preparations for my new life that I forgot what to do.
I slightly regret relaxing too much.
I just kept avoiding my old acquaintances, my old pathways, kept guarding and guarding myself, and forgot the most important.
-- Yeah... I should come back home at least once.
Ishizue residence is a mansion on a Shikura hill, second block. Separated from the opposite block by a station, it takes about an hour to get there on foot, twenty minutes on a bus and less than fifteen minutes on car.
Town might seem like a narrow place, but it's pretty wide. You don't have interest in citizens from the other side of a station, unless you're acquainted - that's the feature of a modern society. Of course - we live near a single shop, but we only go to work, home and for food. And for class, to bar, book shop and mall. That's all.
That's why I didn't have a reason to come back to Ishizue residence, but I should at least do it once, to not regret not going there later.
Covered by the dark night, I'm walking to the Shikura hill.
Hill - it isn't just a name, a perpetually sleepy district is built here, and precisely at midnight everyone's sleeping already.
I'm walking under the street lights. Hmm, here's Kizaki, Ishimori, Yamanashi, Ishizue. Maybe everyone has insomnia or something, but the lights are on everywhere. Only Ishizue mansion is drowned in darkness.
-- Tch. Closed...
That would be obvious, if you think about it. But since I came here, I don't feel like going back empty-handed, and no one's here anyway. I walk to the back of the mansion, move a hand to the kitchen window - it opens instantly. Amazing luck. I didn't have to break windows and bother neighbors... Of course, I don't mind saying hi to the people that will come running, but it's easy to imagine their reaction from seeing me. I'm not used to living with a single hand, I don't feel like adding stress to that.
-- Well, hello, home sweet home.
I'm coming inside the house, empty from since that event happened.
-- Hmm? Wow, everything's cleaned. Wasn't there a sea of blood here?
They restored it all and are waiting until everything settles down?.. Then my room's going to be cleaned too. I walk up to the second floor. The door leading to my room is brand new. Well yeah, I heard Mato-san destroyed it completely with a shotgun.
-- Hooo. Almost untouched inside!
I'm looking at the space that was Ishizue Arika's room some time ago.
I fall on bed and now look up to ceiling.
-- Oh, I see bullet holes.
Construction workers, don't slack! You can't sell it expensively like that.


I spent about three hours at home, satisfying my nostalgia. If you look around the house, you can see how it was used before. I'm leaving behind this shortly mine, and now newly decorated home. I have a new life too. And this house can't be untouched for long.
Whatever. It doesn't concern me anyway.


Two months passed, and I became used to my new life.

I grew attached to my 2DK-apartment already, and grasped the way of living in this town.
Not too comfortable, but enough for living normally.
There is just one problem left.
While in the isolator, Ishizue Arika was, out of his own volition, trying out arm prostheses, and not a single one fit, leaving him single-handed. And since he's discharged now, the problem would probably be a bother to him. Maybe it's pointless, but I can't just ignore that.
For starters, I paid a visit to a neighboring medical doctor and told him my requirements for a prosthesis, and now am going home. When suddenly... In the rusty mailbox I spot a suspicious mail.

-- No sender, nothing...
A big envelope. Tightly sealed, and looks quite expensive, the one they send cash in.
Puzzled, I come back to my room, lie on bed and open the envelope.
An unhealthy amount of 10000-yen notes appears... A feeling of weirdness gets stronger than that of happiness.
-- ...
Trying not to think about anything, I count the notes. Eighty of them, more than my yearly salary.
-- Throwing them out is... too early, I lent some money from Niijima-chan...
Oh grief, I had no money after discharge, of course. The tragedy where poverty is born. How sometimes you have to bear the obvious root of evil!
-- But giving it to police is a problem too...
I can leave that sort of thing in my memory, but not in notes. My life would be ruined.
-- I guess I can just watch the turns of events for about half a month now...
That's how it ended. Seeing how it all was obviously a mistake, I'll just take care of the money for now. If an owner is found, I'll just return them. Half a year after you pick up something it becomes yours, anyway.
-- Eh? Or was it a year? And not the whole amount?
Well, that was a trifle matter.
Because on the next month, this time pushed right into the mailbox, same envelope appeared before me.


-- Arika-chan, are you involved with some bad company?
-- No, good morning.
Gloom from the very morning.
Knocking at my door like a hitting a sandbox, Niijima-chan, right after seeing me, gave me this phrase, as if to scold me for my sleepy look. With all those mysterious envelopes it's me who wants to ask this question...
-- Do you have some business with me, Niijima-chan? I was going to have breakfast.
-- Oh wow, just in time! Great, Arika-chan, it will be fun breakfast!
-- I don't get it... Just say what you have to say and leave, Niijima-chan.
-- Yeah, yeah. Arika-chan, you're looking for a hand prosthesis, right? You have a guest that wants to talk to you about that.
-- Huh?..
I'm violently scratching back of my head. Coming to these slums just for that... Does that trader really have nothing to do?
-- I don't like this. Is he waiting in the lobby?
-- Nope, in "Marion" at the opposite side of the street. Oh, you're barely making it for the "morning"!
-- Sure... Normally it would be fine, but I guess I don't mind eating "morning" in Marion.
For free, to top it off.
I'm quickly dressing up, walking past the guardian booth - empty, as usual - and to the corridor.
At the opposite side of building 13 there is an unexpectedly stylish cafe "Marion".
Thing is, the average price there is as much as 800 yen.
"Welcome", I'm invited by a gallant cafe owner, and I enter. I found the trader without trouble, there was only one new face here.
-- Hello, I'm Ishizue. Are you selling the arm prostheses?
-- Yes. My name's Yamada. Good morning, Ishizue-kun.

Male, about forty years old. Nothing distinctive, usual gentleman. I ask for a "morning set" and sit in front of him.
-- So, which clinic are you from?
I ordered the prostheses about a month ago, they all should come later.
-- No, I'm not from a clinic. I'm coming here on a different matter, so to say. I heard you're looking for a quality prosthesis.
Wow. Of course Niijima-san would act suspiciously, that gentleman is over the top suspicious type.
-- I'm listening. Say it already.
I'm ready to answer "no", but that gentleman sure is going to pay for my already ordered "morning set".
His speech crossed the border of "suspicious" and became a little hilarious.
Long story short: On Shikura's outskirts lives a kid - owner of unique arm and leg prostheses, and his artificial arm might fit Ishizue-san? That's it. I don't have anywhere to get money from for that obviously expensive prosthesis, but that kid is looking for a sitter, or a steward, so if I'll be his steward, I might get to wear it for free.
-- Yeah... So, how do you know that?
-- I was helping the child until yesterday. Though, sadly, I got my settlement, - he says in a gloomy voice.
-- You mean you were fired? Heee... I won't ask why, but why tell me?
Normally you get mad if you're fired.
-- Thing is that, of course, I could forget that all, but I still pity that child. I want to find a substitute to take my place, at least. Or else I will be tormented by my consciousness.
Gentleman explained steward's work and salary. Well, let aside the credibility, two hundred thousand per month for that sort of work is not at all bad. And the fact I won't meet any of my old acquaintances is just great.
-- I still have a question. Why me? It's strange to talk to ones like me, don't you think?
-- That kid is just like you. Possessed.
Ahh. That's how it is. Then it's reasonable to ask me, indeed. Who else would willingly look after a carrier?
-- Isn't he a hell-raiser, though?
-- Won't even move a finger. I guarantee your safety. As soon as you see him, you'll understand it.
I'm getting even more curious. I keep asking questions while finishing my "morning set", and I even asked for another cup of tea.
So, I decided to take a look at the workplace. I don't really need the money, but finding both work and prosthesis at the same time I thought was impossible. And that kid lives in Shikura outskirts, on a private land... Obviously some ridiculously rich girl. I promise to visit her tomorrow and stand up.
-- Thanks. Then I'll give you one more piece of advice of an experienced person.
Gentleman smiles, and puts his hands together in a manner of a prayer.
-- The kid loves people very much, he won't get mad at any mean thing you tell him, at any attitude you give him. But remember, no matter how close you are, never tell him one thing...
I get chills. This courteous everyday gentleman unpleasantly moves corners of his mouth...
-- Never, under no circumstances suggest the kid to go outside. As soon as you say something of the like, you'll irreversibly turn into his absolute, full-fledged enemy.
... smiling, like a devil.


Shikura is a town of extremities. It looks like a middle-sized city near the railroad station, but the office buildings are only built near the town center, surrounded by forests and fields.
Walking from the station to the direction of residential array on Shikura hill, I pass the border of residential area, fields and parks showing before me as far as eye can see.
And so... This prosaic city, forests growing here and there, and in one of those forests lives a kid-owner of the hand prosthesis.
After going as far as I can on the bus, I get off and go into the forest, too big to be a private property. There were street lights in it, marking the road, and soon I arrived to the place I sought for.

Building, resembling a huge die. On a clearing stands a cube of a building, sized about ten meters in three dimensions. Yamada... fake name, probably... told me the reservoir is filled with water.
The steel door wasn't locked. Inside it is dark, sunlight lighting the stairway to basement. Unusually deep.
-- Creepy. And it's not even D building.
I'm more or less able to see, though. "Dragons live here", I feel with a chill. Ability to discern unknown and death is common human trait.
-- I already agreed for a personal meeting though...
Promiscuity in actions is very like Ishizue Arika, but I made a promise and I have to keep it. Can't change it with fear alone.
I go downstairs, and the door closes. By itself! I go down the pitch black corridor, walk quickly to a door and blindly search for an object resembling a handle. A classic door opens with a screech.
At the same moment...
-- Ahh...
... I look up. For the first time in my life, I feel what they call "fate". Yeah, I'm don't have the right to make jokes about Dolittle anymore. This room was ancient. Like a dark, uninhabited room, taken alone from a medieval castle.
Floor is layed out in a chessboard style. Brick walls. Expensive furniture. Corner of a room has some random stuff stacked. Nothing like electric lamps, ceiling made of glass, in a manner of an aquarium. Sun lights the underground room, waving the rays in water.
-- Hello. Are you Ishizue Arika?
From the direction of a bed with a canopy in a middle of the room, I hear a voice.
I get chills all over my back. I almost forgot who I am for a second there, but getting a hold of myself I get closer to the bed. I wanted to see, clearly see, who is the owner of this outworldly beautiful voice.
-- Oh, can you stop there please? Wow, really single-handed, just as I was told.
A meter from the bed, I'm stopped.
Behind the vail dropped from a canopy, a figure in bed, a figure...
-- Woooooooah!!!
W-w-what a cutie! What's that, who's that, how's that, do people like that even exist?! I met and saw a lot of charming ladies, but never such a breathtaking beauty! So fantasy happens in real world too!
-- He-ey... You're Ishizue Arika-san, right?
Black-haired girl looks at me, troubled.
... My mind is melting. And so, deep in the featherbed, there is a girl about fourteen years old. Rare light-gray eyes, absolutely black hair. Pajamas, ones you'd never get to wear, giving an idea about a very expensive doll.. Abnormally small body gives off excess likehood with a doll...
-- What the...
At that point, my raging mind freezes. It's not a small body. It's a lacking body.

Completely not.
This beautiful doll doesn't have limbs at all.

I finally understand why am I going to be an attendant. And, to say, she can't even move, let aside harm anyone.
Perfection. It completely threw me off balance.
Who can even think of taking a creature like that outside? Girl and this room are complete. Girl without limbs. Forest people don't walk in. Basement under an aquarium. Ideally separated world, in a good sense. It's wonderful. Now I understand, I had to do it like that too!..
-- Ishizue-san? Ah, right. Prosthesis first, right? Can you wait a bit, please? My mood got worse somehow. It was on a table just now...
Girl alone can, at most, raise her head a bit.
Unwillingly, I look around.
Under the sofa there is a doberman-like dog with a bored look. Even when I entered, it kept sleeping, uninterested.
The room suddenly got darker. Raising my head up, I see a fish, like a shark, covering sun.
... I don't know where to start giving it a thought. The ceiling is glass, right? And there's a ten meter layer of water there. Water is very transparent, can fish actually live there? And why a shark, actually?
-- Well, so you have it. Looks like the appropriate hand prosthesis is sleeping at the moment. We can't have a deal like that...
Black-haired girl, with a sad look, averts her eyes. Wait just a second, girl, you make too much of an impression! Any man, respecting himself, would jump on her, hugging, or maybe choking, because it just can't be true.
-- Nah, I'll do it. I just have to take care of you, right?
-- You don't need the details?
-- Nah. I take it. Job's easy.
I'm still scared, to be honest. Dogs, sharks... This room is wrong. But the girl's beauty includes that fear, for sure.
-- I understand. You might've thought like, "He's scary", but thank you, Ishizue-san. You probably know it already, but my name's Karyou Kaie. Glad to meet you, I hope our friendship will last long.
-- ...
For the third time already, I get the chills on my back.
The girl trustingly and brightly smiled, giving me a formal greeting. Too bad I can't shake her hand.
Wait, just one second... Is it me, or did I hear "he"?


-- Wait a second, you're a guy!!!

Shenanigans! Well, I did think that for fourteen year old girl her upper part is not too developed, but damn it, there below, indeed that thing is!..
-- A-ha-ha-ha-ha... It's not good, Ishizue-san, to become an attendant with dirty thoughts.
That black devil smiles innocently.
His face, whatever you say, was so incredibly charming... Even my breathing got faster, when I was changing his clothes.
It was a noon of a second day from the time I became a steward. I was randomly given this:
-- I'm hot. Ishizue-san, change my clothes.
He says that, and I'm thinking in excitement what will be next, and here..!
-- By the way... What's that? Chinese dress? Are you using it as pajamas?
I'm throwing a protest with a judging look, like, isn't it a waste?
-- It's just that my robe looks like that. Silk is for comfort. By the way, if I wear anything once, I don't wear it the second time.
Seriously?! Karyou Kaie is absolutely passive, not moving an inch.

... Damn, I'm blushing again, even though I do my best not to. While I was taking his clothes off, my head was spinning from the feeling of amorality. Undressing a beauty with no limbs. Feeling like that girl can't do anything to oppose it - girl doesn't resist, just bears the unceremonious guy, swallowing her embarrassment. Feeling of guilt, resembling a play with a doll, shook my fingers, unbuttoning her clothes.
The naked body was so milky and delicate that I got uncomfortable about my own body, and I almost went mad from realizing that I can, here and now, turn into a criminal, when I saw the object around his crotch - how did I feel then, can anyone understand? Anyone? No one, I guess...
-- And that's it. No complaints? Nothing feels uncomfortable on your back?
-- Nothing, accurate work. You're gentle, Ishizue-san. And so agile with your hand.
-- Surely. Doing my best to move one in place of two.
I walk back from the bed, walk around the sofa... and black dog, while keeping some decent distance, and drop my bottom on the floor. Karyou Kaie is like swallowtail, giving off the poison while looking innocent, and if I was any closer than I am now, I would get a lethal dose of it. For things like that, you need to grow resistance and get used to it with time.


My casualty changed a lot. All the day I, basically, spend in Kaie's basement room, coming back home just to sleep. One time I got so lazy that I didn't feel like walking home, so I asked if I can spend a night there.
-- It's dangerous at night, you can't. And wasn't that you who said it's impossible to spend a whole day in a room like that? That you need to get some fresh air, at least at night?
And so, I wasn't allowed to stay.
The job is boringly easy. Food-related stuff, sometimes walks around the room on prostheses, talks with no real topic. Wiping the body is the only thing of concern, and care about the lower part...
-- Ishizue-san, give me that leg prosthesis.
... was decided like that. He toddles to the bathroom on his own.
The empty days kept coming and going, a month passed like nothing. Receiving my first salary, I got worried if I should actually take this much. Job is supposed to be hard, and if it's so fun, I become afraid of some ancient misfortunes and get nervous.
Balance started crumbling - I noticed it myself. Careless lonesomeness in my room began invoking gloom. Small, but beloved home now didn't seem so wonderful. My ideal became like that: if you don't want anyone to disturb you, stay in that underground room. From the time I found out about it, this apartment became nothing more than a place to stay the night. When a rootless darkness appears on a ball in a palace, its own life begins to feel empty.
I switch on the TV and lie on my bed, in a stream of uninteresting news, remembering today's underground room.
-- Ishizue-san, you're not living up to your surname, "Stone staff".
"That pisses me off. Who does he think he is?!" - I think sometimes, seriously hating that spoiled boy. Well of course, I care about him in words and works, and he doesn't even care what I'll think.
-- I thought you're more cruel.
-- What?
-- You're kind, you care about me. Even though I'm defective, I feel human, that's how you are.
So he likes cold attitude? Damn masochist!
But I see the power I don't have in how Kaie doesn't care if he's treated like a thing, in how he acts decently without getting stuck on any words of others... And why would you try being next to someone you didn't become, next to someone you're in awe with?.. Heh. You're probably waiting for a crumb to be spared for you, nothing new.
-- Damn, it's like tightrope walking. When balance is lost, you need to fix it in cold blood.
If you jerk to the wrong side - you fall. It's all right, I'll carefully return to my place. Both the feeling that I want to keep taking care of him for as long as I can, and that basement room I can't get off my mind - both are just a temporary poisoning.
Same as with a balancer. One month will pass, and the fever should cool down.


Well, that hopeful foresight was naive.
Complicating the illness, fever didn't cool down, it kept heating up. It's unpleasant to admit, but this is life. Once fortune turns away from you, it keeps going against you again and again.


-- Ah, yes. Ishizue-san, your house is in the north part of Shikura, right?
-- Yes, why? You want to go shopping?
-- I want to see with my own two eyes if you reach it. Ishizue-san, did you know? A world of rock'n'roll has condescended to this hole!
Apparently in a nice mood, Kaie put on prostheses of legs and left hand today. Probably that's why, for the first time, I saw his theatrical gesture.
-- What's that rock'n'roll? A fossil?
I close a comics book. He said he'll buy some books to kill time, so I bought him some comics books as well. Kaie doesn't read at all, so those books are permanently borrowed by me. I'm making plans to persuade him into buying "Sangokushi", but that's a secret.
-- Hey, why "fossil" now... That's a physical form of an object, which looks like a stone... Ishizue-san, do you not listen to music?
-- No. When I play myself, it's alright, but I don't like listening to others' music.
-- Hmm. So you don't know about rock'n'roll either. So anyway, youngsters from Shikura north say that you can get some drugs unavailable in pharmacies, for a decent price.
-- What?..

Suddenly. "Well, it doesn't matter though", the underground devil continues.
-- But yeah, it's not that cool. Black marketeer is doing his best, youngsters under twenty keep on raving. Dealers don't just sell drugs, they're extorting ones that fail to pay the price, give them a showy lesson, they know their stuff. Looks like the guys that owe a lot are getting in car accidents. When it's a hit and run, you can't catch them, one detective I know complained to me about that.
-- ...
It doesn't concern me at all, but that story resembles the book I've just read.
-- Listen, I don't know. Is this going to end once they know that the business is just a cover? Want to dream - there, get triazolam, have it decent and dealt with, and you won't have too many permanent clients either, right? If you try to distribute it too much, you'll get caught, that's not fun.
-- Yeah. But the problem is, he isn't getting caught. Black marketeer, of course, doesn't show up himself, but all his cases are imitations. He's learning from the long-lasting and successfully-ending small dealers' cases and imitates them. So inspectors can't make out criminal's image.
-- ...
A weird topic.
Actually, who would know imitational crimes better than me?
Even still, if the criminal doesn't leave someone's image, you can't see his true face. His discerning feature is, no matter how laughable it is, lack of face.
-- Strange criminals. What are they trying to achieve by imitating?
-- Who knows. Well, not taking anyone's place at least. That's the deal anyway, I thought you know something, Ishizue-san. Your character is the one that easily catches on topics like that.
-- Come on. Do you think any black marketeer would come close to that building?
-- Oh.
Kaie got it. Heh, I live in building 13, the one that mothers scare their capricious children with. Famous with high danger and poverty levels. Well, I surprisingly like the topic, though.
-- Hmm? Having fun, Ishizue-san? You know something after all?
-- Nope, I honestly don't. But just now... You were worried about me, right?
That was like a warning - "don't get caught up in it".
Kaie didn't move an eyebrow:
-- Why? I'm interested in criminals-copycats. What happens to you is none of my concern.

Black dog barked.


Nevertheless, the days were busy.

Five months passed from since I got discharged from that clinic. "Maybe this year will end in favorable winds as well", I'm thinking optimistically, on the way home. The guy in the basement was, as usual, indifferent to my fate, and lately I'm thinking that it's alright. If it gets too hard to bear, I'll make him obey with power.
-- Oh hi, Arika-chan.
Niijima-chan was waiting for me near the door. "Ding!" - reacts, in my head, the lately relaxed radar.
-- Something happened?
-- Someone was in your room until recently. You don't come back until seven, right? I thought it's strange, so I went to look, and some strange boy came out of it. He said he knows you from the clinic, and that I shouldn't worry, and went his way.
-- Wh-what?.. That's it? Nothing else happened?
-- I'm telling you, no. But it's the first time I saw anyone come for you, Arika-chan.
Of course. I didn't say I got discharged to any of my acquaintances. I thank Niijima-chan and go in.
-- Damn. What for, why? I don't get it.
The room was a fine example of an apartment after a search.
Bed and TV are untouched, so I sit on the bed and think, who it might've been. I can't think of anyone, of course. I decide to change the door lock first thing in the morning tomorrow.


-- You don't get why? That's some stuff. I keep on hearing it today.
Next day, 2 PM. Door stuff took some time, so I came late for work.
You won't get satiated from just juice; I cut an apple for Kaie, and eat some grape myself. Single-handed apple cutting is a trick I learned especially for Kaie.
-- Listen, I'm serious. Yesterday I came home, and it was all turned upside down. And I didn't do anything at all that would make me any enemies after discharge.
I'm consulting with him, what could that mean?..
"A-ahn" - Kaie opens his mouth. I carefully feed him apple slice. Left hand prosthesis lays on a table, but looks like he doesn't feel like wearing it today.
-- Hmm, maybe just a burglar?
-- Nothing was stolen. I prefer to carry my paybook with me.
And I carry all my money with me. If anyone sees my profit, I'm done for.
-- Well, there's no meaning to think about it, I guess. You don't remember what happened that day? And you don't know what you did yesterday, right?
-- Well... something like that.
But... Hey, did I really say that to Kaie?
-- Thanks, you can clean up now.
I take the tray and go to the sink.
As there is no kitchen in this room, I have to wash dishes in toilet room. Water reservoir is cubic and this room is, too. Square walls have different doors in them - near the one leading to forest is the toilet, without a door. All doors, except the south one, are mysterious and locked.
-- Oh... Why are there two cups in the sink?
Why, do I need to ask why?
Today, before I came, he had a guest.
-- He-ey. Did anyone come? - I shout, washing the fruit knife and plate.
-- What? But you introduced me to him yourself. He said he needs help and wants, no matter what, to ask me something...
I shut off water, drop the fruit knife in my pocket, and as naturally as I can return to the room.
-- What was he like? So that I can remember him.
-- A bit younger than me... His name was Hisaori Shinya.
-- Hisaori... Shinya?
-- You know him?
Of course I do. How can I not..
But why him?
Was he discharged already?
-- He's sudden, as usual... And? What were we talking about?
-- Well, the hot topic. He wants revenge against his sister... You know how he was caught?
-- I heard about it.
Hisaori Shinya. High-schooler, left parents to die and tried to kill his sister. Well, all that was three years ago, he should be in clinic now. But if he managed to leave the clinic, then he probably cut his eye-teeth, and he wouldn't think about revenge.
-- And what you did, Kaie?
-- Whatever I said, my words didn't reach him at all. You know it, right? The rumor people made up. If you want to kill a possessed, ask a demon from the forest. That's about me. Hisaori-san, sadly, took it seriously.
The fish is running about above the ceiling.
Black dog snuffles loudly.
It's the first time I hear about a rumor like that. Yeah, if it's that guy, he might take a rumor like that seriously.
-- I see. So Shinya's older sister is possessed. And he decided to carry out revenge for sure... What did you suggest?
-- To dig a hole for someone more carefully, nothing more. Hisaori Shinya has both legs and arms, I can't even offer a hand prosthesis. I asked how he wants to have his revenge, he replied that he wants to kill, of course.
-- Bark, bark! - black dog, never once coming close to me, rubs against my leg.
-- Good grief... At what time did he come?
-- About an hour before you came.
We know each other. I can't leave such a dangerous guy alone.
-- I'm sorry, but is it okay if I leave early today? I have to catch Hisaori Shinya.
But will it be alright? If it comes to a fight, I can't do much with one hand...
-- Okay. Wait. You can take the prosthesis from the table. As you don't have your own feelings yet, you can only use this one.
I don't get it. Prosthesis for left hand, the one at the table?..
-- Take it, don't be shy. You wanted a hand prosthesis from the very beginning, didn't you.
-- Ah. Yeah... Okay, I'll take it then. Why would I need it, though...
I can't refuse after those words from him.
Taking the white left hand that I don't even want to touch, that won't even fit me, I leave the basement room.


I knew where to search, to say it straight.
If nothing changed in three years, Hisaori Shinya's house is a land tenure in Nozu. Returning to the station, I take a bus to Nozu. For the first time since my discharge I go there, and I don't feel like showing myself too much. In the bus, I decide to put on the prosthesis lent by Kaie. It's made to match him perfectly. I tried not to think about it, but I know this prosthesis is "wonderful", no tricks.
I just had to put white artificial arm close to me for it to grow in perfectly. It's not moving, of course... "Wonderful" part in it is that Kaie can move it, like a god.
-- Seriously, what's the trick?.. - I mumble, as the bus keeps going.
Soon I arrive to Nozu. Day is closing to dusk, and one of the Shikura city's horrors, illusionary high-rise building, jerks with red light.
Hisaori - building 3, room 303.
No nameplate. Looks like no new family went in. An apartment left after possessed, who's gonna use it...
Opening the door, I enter. I don't want him to run away, so I squeezed in without ringing the bell on the door, but inside was completely empty. Houses in Nozu are 3LDK, so it was a bit tight here, but it was just about right size for a mother, a father, a sister and a brother to live together.
The sun sets. I look at the balcony from the empty living room.
Is that so...
If he's not here, I don't know how to find him. I don't want to, but I'll have to, when I go back, to call clinic and ask the staff about his discharge.


The moment was so perfect, it's like it was asked for.
It was tenth hour in the evening. I came back from Nozu and was in front of building 13, when the back of my head suddenly got hit with a blunt object.
I see sparks in my eyes.
I didn't lose consciousness, but I almost fell face down.
Without any time to collect myself, I get kicked in my back and fall to the ground.
-- Hey, you're Ishizue Arika?
Someone grabs my head and drags me into darkness. What the hell?.. Residential home is in front of me, isn't anyone coming for help?!
-- Weh? Is that the guy?! What the fuck, he's weaker than us! He's the one chasing us to the corner?!
More sparks. I think my head was kicked from the side. I can't deal with the situation anymore. More than three, but less than six kids push me to a big tree.
-- Hey, you're alive? You're alive, right? Well, I don't care though... Ta-kun, can I hit him too?
-- Why not? See, he's not bleeding. Just don't hit his face, if you hit it too strong, he's gonna kick the bucket.
They laugh.
Dam-m! - I get a loud hit to the back of my head. She probably hit me with a swing, like playing golf.
-- Are you stupid or what?! The back of the head is the vital... Yuck, blood! Stop it, he's gonna kick in like that.
-- So what if he dies? He's useless anyway.
-- Ahh, right! He's possessed, he's fine without a head too.
And the lynching begins.
My hands bent, I turn into a sandbag that's also verbally abused. From all the incoming hits I start getting interruptions in my consciousness, I don't see the faces anymore, I don't understand the words.
-- Ah!
Left hand, the prosthesis, moves. Blood richly flows into it.
-- What?... Ta-kun, what's with your hand?
She started yelling right after the question.
Oh come on, what's with that infamy? Right in front of my eyes, a residential house, and no one came out to help.
Anger, resentment about some weakling counter striking, attacking with a crowd. It's breached with an overwhelming difference in power, creating defiance, abuse, groans and grinding teeth.
-- Ayeeeeeeee... no... I-I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-y!..
The pleads of the last woman, around my age, cause me to burst in laughter.
I admit, I really don't like using brute force.
But sadism after masochism is very, very nice...


-- Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!
I barely content my laughter.
Five youngsters.. or six? - lie on the ground. They're soaked in blood, but they're fine.
-- Oh damn! Well, but they're still alive?
Ha-ha-ha. A slight regret.
What's that... I started a new life at last, I wanted to live as a normal human, and it wasn't long before I crossed the border of allowed self-defense. Ha-ha-ha! I should be more careful here, or they'll take me back to clinic. But it was fun, so fun, I can't do anything about it. Yes, yes! To put a human in this mental state to a clinic is a crime. And they're the ones responsible, too.
-- Hey, Ta-kun. Want an ambulance? No? Weird guy. You're wheezing something, can't understand ya.
If you leave them like that, two are probably going to die, but someone's going to pass by soon anyway. The frivolity that made them attack on the roadside became a straw that would save those Ta-kuns.
-- That's great. If even one of you died, and this whole thing made it to public, I would have to lie low. And like that, we both are lucky.
Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha! What a shame, I can't control my face expression because of the excess happiness. Well, what am I standing here for, I'd better go home.


-- Hi-hi, my home, I'm back!
Even though I got into some trouble on the way here, I made it alright from Nozu.
I take off the dirtied clothes, switch TV on and fall on the bed.
The news stream makes me refuse to believe my ears.
-- Wha-a-at?!
I jump up and look at the screen. It wasn't my imagination.
Perpetually announcing news from another world speaker names familiar places and names.
"Today, at around six o'clock, in the industrial area of Nozu in Shikura city, in a residential array, a body of a young man was found, identified as Hisaori Shinya, nineteen years old, living in the said place. By the words of witnesses and Hisaori's notes, accused with his death is a man named ***. He was seen there at the time of...."
-- What the hell!
My mind gets empty this time.
I come back to senses from the border of consciousness:
-- Why is it me who killed him?

The name of a man accused of killing Hisaori Shinya was none other but my own.


Next chapter: Hands(L) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=927251&viewfull=1#post927251)

August 21st, 2012, 05:28 AM
hi, just giving little correction as I'm reading it

-- Wait a seond, you're a guy!!!

I'd like to appreciate your translating effort and I enjoyed reading the continuation of DDD. Keep up the good work and let the updates coming!

August 21st, 2012, 05:28 AM
Oh man. I've been waiting for more DDD for years, seriously. Thank you so much for doing this.

August 21st, 2012, 05:52 AM
Thanks for the translation, it really is an interesting read.

In fact, if you guys like that B-T reader so much, why don't I just make a reader like that for nrvnqsr or something. iOS ones are using objective C, or so I heard, this can't be too hard >_>

Except you need a Mac computer to fully do something right in Objective-C.

Android app are written in Java natively. (Or C++/C# using NDK, still I do not recommend it.) Very simple.

Windows Mobile 7-8 open source application are fully supported by microsoft, they are also providing the corresponding framework, XNA. It is based on the C# framework. Pretty simple either.

Guess I could lend a hand or two in desgining a reader app. But in the end, if you want the app to read all the nasu based stuff, you have to have server space to stock it all.
And by stocking, I mean formatting it all. Like, naming all the images with same chart for doujins, for exemple. Or even the same format style for novel works.


By the way, with this kind of server organisation, it is also possible to make an agreable and sexy reader in javascript or silverlight.

What I mean by that is that, with the correct formatting, every device can have a reader. (iOS, Android, PC, web browsers, etc...) Without having to make a change into the server.


Wow, re reading this make me realize how much my english sucks when I write without think about it.

August 21st, 2012, 09:53 AM
Except you need a Mac computer to fully do something right in Objective-C.

Damn. Never worked with it, so couldn't know.

Android app are written in Java natively. (Or C++/C# using NDK, still I do not recommend it.) Very simple.
Windows Mobile 7-8 open source application are fully supported by microsoft, they are also providing the corresponding framework, XNA. It is based on the C# framework. Pretty simple either.

Guess I could lend a hand or two in desgining a reader app. But in the end, if you want the app to read all the nasu based stuff, you have to have server space to stock it all.
And by stocking, I mean formatting it all. Like, naming all the images with same chart for doujins, for exemple. Or even the same format style for novel works.


By the way, with this kind of server organisation, it is also possible to make an agreable and sexy reader in javascript or silverlight.

What I mean by that is that, with the correct formatting, every device can have a reader. (iOS, Android, PC, web browsers, etc...) Without having to make a change into the server.

Well, I'm working as C#.NET developer, so screwing around with it can't be that hard. I didn't really work much at all with XNA (I heard about it though, of course), but I worked with Silverlight a bit.
And actually though, in any of those cases, you wouldn't need to change the forum format.
You would just make it parse the html-s from servers and re-display them, adding controls whatnot.

Though I'm not sure if I'm up for it or if I'm actually fit for it. I wouldn't mind helping anyone who'd have a bright idea like that, it is for sure.
Also, I'm now thinking, maybe I'd just host this DDD at my website and, like, that's it? So it would be more like a single page torn off Wikipedia with hyperlinks to the text parts.

Wow, re reading this make me realize how much my english sucks when I write without think about it.

Oh dude, I know what you mean. When I re-read what I write in DDD for the first time, I feel like I'm reading my homework from grade school.

- - - Updated - - -

-- Wait a seond, you're a guy!!!
Thanks, fixed!

August 21st, 2012, 12:38 PM
Oh man, the second Volume appendix is so wordy.

Apparently it's about a battle at Origa, to determine who's the strongest. Tomato-san was pretty much badass.

August 21st, 2012, 02:31 PM
Well, I would need you to create an account on Baka-Tsuki and then to write in the corresponding thread that you are indeed the translator for this project and you are working on it. stupid rules.
Should I do that as well seeing as I am going to be working on formalhunt and proofreading?

August 21st, 2012, 03:56 PM
Should I do that as well seeing as I am going to be working on formalhunt and proofreading?
The rules are weird, it almost seems like we won't have to. But I think you should, just for the hell of it.

August 22nd, 2012, 02:09 PM
Oh hey HandS(R) is done, maybe I'll just read that bit for now. Maybe.

August 22nd, 2012, 07:33 PM
And now I want to know what happens next. Enjoying it so far, thanks for the translation.

August 30th, 2012, 12:44 PM
Yo yo yo, what happened to the translation it's been an entire week. You waited for me to start reading before you quit updating didn't you?

August 30th, 2012, 12:49 PM
Yo yo yo, what happened to the translation it's been an entire week. You waited for me to start reading before you quit updating didn't you?
Okay, on the other hand, sorry for the delay, I was kinda busy for the whole time (wasn't too active on boards either). University year starts 1st september + I had to work for the time I skipped dealing with university stuff.

But I'm finally done with univ and everything more or less sorted out with work, now just have to deal with my flat rent and the weekend is dedicated to DDD. I also have a bit translated, so I might update today or tomorrow before that.

EDIT: Also, blame Dota2. It's been forcing out the little time I had left to spare.

bahamut zero
August 30th, 2012, 01:08 PM
Yo yo yo, what happened to the translation it's been an entire week. You waited for me to start reading before you quit updating didn't you?

stop this.

August 30th, 2012, 01:11 PM
You need to be more specific dawg.

August 30th, 2012, 01:51 PM
'tis but a scratch. I completely don't mind, my conscience's been telling me I should get to it with a much harsher voice anyway.

August 30th, 2012, 02:49 PM
stop this.

Someone should change the title to
"DDD. Translation will be finished when its finished, stop asking."

August 30th, 2012, 04:58 PM
I wouldn't ask to begin with if he hadn't said something about updating it once per day.

August 30th, 2012, 05:27 PM
It was actually you who brought up the word "Daily" in it, let's be honest. I'm happy though, whatever I say, like if girls were fighting over me. Not sure if want to stop it or enjoy it longer.
Anyway, this will become daily updated when I stabilize my schedule. I already said I'll be having some trouble for a while, and you can imagine what "university and full-time job at the same time" can turn out as. For now, like I said, I'll try to update this one tonight (in around 6 hours), or if I decide to sleep it'll be tomorrow. Also, I'll try to dedicate my weekend to it.
Thanks for the support!

bahamut zero
August 30th, 2012, 09:01 PM
I wouldn't ask to begin with if he hadn't said something about updating it once per day.

And you are nagging him because you have nothing better to do.

August 30th, 2012, 09:21 PM
It takes all of 5 seconds to post something here.

August 30th, 2012, 10:49 PM
And you are nagging him because you have nothing better to do.
Yeah it's all terra's fault.

August 30th, 2012, 11:53 PM
The "t" in terrablaze stands for entitled.

And the "b" stands for ballbuster.

August 31st, 2012, 02:37 AM
And here I thought that the 't' stood for 'Turkish Delight' and the 'b' stood for 'baker's dozen'.

August 31st, 2012, 02:21 PM


Whatever I did, nothing worked out well.

An ideal girl though, judging by her grades. Role model student, if you look at it that way.
Everyone around me was so scared of me they wished me death. I know, why. Because whatever I finished doing, the finish was different from other kids.
From a casual walk to corner store to talks with parents. From school stuff to healthcare. I couldn't stop if things didn't seem to work out the best I could think of. And every time, my parents were disappointed in me, but I succeeded, and they were saying "well done". That's how everything was ending.

Restoration, of course, was successful and failed.

Getting results in my own way, I made many suffer at the same time.
No one blames me, because pros are overrated. But sometime this relation is going to turn around.
But I didn't know any other ways. My dad was scolding me: "Don't do anything". I was completely weird. My mother admitted that I'm a pain in the ass. I couldn't correct myself.
Desperate, I was depressed and couldn't even go out. Even the way I was holding the spoon was scary.
But once my mother taught me - if I'm afraid of my actions, I should just completely copy someone else's, and I'll do just fine.


And so...
In the end, I didn't know how to stop myself.



-- Ishizue Arika-san, my congratulations. Investigation showed you are latent. Your healing course as an agonyst syndrome carrier is over. It was nice making your acquaintance for those past half a year.

Half a year after clinic, July 2003.
ECG, pulse, ABP, and also cerebral membrane of inner nerve and other insides of mine were rated and accounted; my innocence - proven. And only Mato-san, glaring at me from the other side of the glass door, was unhappy.
-- Thank you very much. Can I now get discharged with my conscience clear?
-- No, Ishizue-san, you were wounded by a syndrome carrier, we're going on to next procedures. We would be examining you just like before, but we'll transfer you to a normal chamber...
Looks like "Not possessed - discharge then" doesn't work here. Evil Tomato nods in satisfaction. I was bearing with it for so long, I'm good at that, but Mato-san is even better at pressuring, and that's the crossing line.
What kind of human she is, tormenting me like that?
-- Doctor Mato should've told you the details. Well, here's your new schedule... Your case, Ishizue-san, is new for us, and we want to deal with the procedures especially carefully.
Building A's personnel consists of a decent amount of real doctors. This one, quite friendly, put some documents, resembling a contract, in front of me.
-- Ah, sign right here, right...
...With a pen in my hand, I freeze, seeing my new schedule. Half a day takes going through doctor's rooms from top to bottom of building A. Second half - talk with other patients, keep yourself in shape, and that finishes with a romantic, psychologic, high-class examination by doctor Touma herself, which I naively believed was last today.
-- Pardon me, a question. What's with all the service in this clinic?
Am I not the one to be served, being a patient?
-- You see, thing is, even though you're mentally injured, you're still a healthy man, right? That's why, as a part of rehabilitation into society, this way of curing is also effective.
Well-well. Live in one room with clinic's patients, talk to them, walk with them, work till seventh sweat, and rehabilitate on the way. So it seems. They don't care about my safety - their top priority is immediate results. Or it won't make sense for me to risk my life.
-- Do I have the right to refuse in some particular cases?
-- Well... Actually, doctor Touma asked to tell you, it's not voluntary job, it's a system.
This human is pitiful, so confused. By the way, most lethal cases in this clinic were not brought failed surgeries, they were brought by aggression explosions caused by awkward communication of patients.
-- Gotcha. By the way, doctor. I want to just confirm, this service is voluntary, right?
-- Yes, in a sense. You could maybe call it "loyalty" or "junshi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junshi)1".
Got it. Looks like it will take long before discharge.
I mean, I can't get out alive because of Mato-san's beliefs, getting out dead - sure, possibly tomorrow, 50/50 chance... Meaning - abandon all hope...
After meditating a bit, I left the chamber and met Mato-san, waiting for me. She had no white coat - leaving now, I guess.
-- Shozai. Let me tell you from the start - nothing's voluntary.
-- ... Leaking private conversations. Okay, okay, got it, it's forced.
-- Yup. While you have a role, I'll treat you as a human. Well, it's okay not to get too embarked in your job - you're such a silly head you'll go dancing on a minefield. Well, see ya - until next week, - Evil Tomato bids me goodbye.

And so I note down - "careful, next week brings despair". Nevertheless, I still got a freedom to walk around the building, so first thing first I went to Dr.Dolittle's confessional. Dr. Dolittle, also called Dr. Roman, also called just Kinui, is always siding with patients that are bothered by anything.
-- There's nothing to be so desperate about. I think, you should instead build up hope. In your case, Arika-kun, your sister was sent to building D, so clinic can't just discharge you saying "no problems", even if you're latent. Even that decision was made in half a year, only because Dr. Touma gave it all her effort.
-- Well, yeah. Quoting Mato-san: "Good for you, even if you're pressured till half-death, you'll forget everything at night.", so it's right.
So I guess she happily put her efforts on all sides.
Medical expert Touma Mato, nicknamed Mato-san. When my possessed sister started raging about, she got her tied up before everyone around could suffer. Saved my life.
Later I found out she's a medical expert-police inspector, public safety elite, ordered to inspect A-syndrome carriers. Hardworking woman, often shows up in clinic and inspects patients, sometimes drags in new ones.
-- Ah yeah... Arika-kun, your memory doesn't hold daily events through night, right? Can you please tell me, at what hour do they disappear?
-- At morning, and surprisingly, it depends on my mood. Well, at average, I lose memory from half till nine A.M. to six P.M., and if I don't watch the time, I forget everything when sun sets.
And the opposite, I can remember events from evening till morning. It's important to know that, so I can live with it somehow. Write down important stuff that happened during the day, read the notes at night, and that's it. But since I'm just writing down text, every image-depending information is a bit inaccurate.
-- What a mess. From one side, your frustrations are erased, but you can live with no problems. So that's why Touma doesn't want to let you out. Touma, you want to heal Arika-kun's injured memory, right?
-- Not re-eally. I'm just tired with all that torturing.
-- I won't believe that. Arika-kun, do you think she's tired with torturing?
A warning smile... so I got to know the unpleasant truth.
-- Gotcha, I was stupid. By the way, Doc. If I get free time tomorrow, is there anything for me to do?
-- Read a book... no, reading's not for you. Meaningless to read during the day, you'll forget it anyway. If you're going to read, do it at night.
-- Yeah. But somehow that's a great fortune.
-- Then maybe you'll paint during the day? Everything will be left on the canvas. Then resume painting, shouldn't be so hard.
-- Well, that's right too. Is it fun to paint?
-- The more serious you are about it, the more of a headache it becomes. Arika-kun, didn't you draw anything as a kid?
Dolittle brings dusty painting utils.
Oh yeah. I remember drawing some squiggles some time ago. Not for getting praised, not to show it to anyone, I was just playing with a paintbrush. Can you avoid unpleasant recollections if you don't have any goal to begin with?
In waiting room of building B is an atelier, chessboard. The only fine place in the clinic with a view to an inner garden. And so, I was moving my paintbrush here and there, when an interesting person talked to me.
-- Sorry, you don't mind if I stick around?
-- Hm?
The person introduced to me as Hisaori Shinya, sat on the floor and kept looking at me with a nitpicking glare. Like a critter that met a human for the first time in its life, keeping watch of my every movement with shimmering eyes.
Full of hellish miasmas, that person didn't seem to have any evil intentions, so I started talking in a relaxed manner.
-- Is it possible to be so agile at handling everything with one hand?
-- I don't have the other one, so I'm doing my best.
I giggled, and so did Hisaori. Hisaori appeared to be quite a normal person, talked to me about stuff with no particular topic, and so became my friend.
I remembered clearly how Hisaori liked my hand. I don't have left one, so I only have right one left. And Hisaori kept on watching it, probably because...


-- Hi there, Ishizue-san. Shogi today?
-- ?..
Half a year passed, and there - 2003, beginning.
After getting in a boring mess in a clinic, I had my discharge delayed until summer. And now an unfamiliar patient appears before me.
-- Are you alright? It's me, Hisaori.
Hisaori?.. Ah, right, according to my notes, this person before me looks like Hisaori Shinya, whom I only met during day, so I have no image recollections of.
I believed it's the case, because I textually noted all body features. Hair length, height, build, and gender... My recognition was delayed, because the Hisaori in front of me has changed drastically, getting a new feature.
-- What's with you? Did you fall?
-- Ah, that? That's after surgery. Everything was bad there from long ago, so I just told them to amputate it.
A single-handed patient, just like me. From this day on, Hisaori doesn't have a right hand.
We talked for a while. Music sounds, personal time is over, Hisaori says goodbye and leaves.

-- Ooh. Hi, Arika-kun.
At that moment, Doctor Dolittle greets me, passing by at the same moment.
A great guy, answers anything you ask him.
-- Hey Doc. Is Hisaori already getting discharged?
-- Yeah. Just like you, Arika-kun, Hisaori is on good accounting, so discharge is half a year early. Well, we had to discharge someone this month. If you behaved, we would've discharged you now.
-- Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, Mato-san was raging about. And it looks like I'm going to isolator tomorrow again... But tell me, what are Hisaori-san's symptoms? Even though Hisaori is from C building, I didn't notice anything out of ordinary...
-- Hisaori-san's modification is quite rare. Appearance is changed, but at the same time you can't see the symptoms. Get what I mean?
I raise my hands - not at all. You can see it, but can't see it - what's with this weird puzzle? Actually, to be honest, I wasn't interested in Hisaori's symptoms.
-- Face expression. Inside Hisaori-san's face, nerve cells, muscles, fibers can become something completely different. Hisaori-san can, on own will, change face expression to match some image.
-- What? But that's usual. If you get angry - your face gets angry.
-- Yeah... You don't really smile when angry. But Hisaori-san is something different. Hisaori-san makes sad face when angry, and can copy your manner to look lifeless as well.
-- Hmm... What a weird modification. Why are you bothering with cure anyway, can't you just discharge Hisaori right away? There's nothing dangerous about it.
-- Well, that depends. To one living being that power is not much, but that's quite a talent in a society, don't you think? Even though it's hard to find analogy.
I guess what we're talking about is how fake smile that doesn't look fake is scary stuff. Maybe Dolittle once met some wedding swindlers?
-- Well, let's leave the modifications aside. What made Hisaori possessed?
I'm asking the main question right away. That is what interests me, and however normal Hisaori can look, if one is here - one was definitely broken once.
-- It's a relation of an unusual degree. Hisaori-san can't have a goal in life. Lost the power to objectively judge oneself - that would be more accurate. Can't even walk without copying anyone.
-- Hmm... Is that even right place to cure that? Shouldn't Hisaori be sent to psychiatric clinic before our purgatory?
-- No-no, the problem, of course, is there, but that doesn't mean Hisaori-san becomes the copied human. In the end, Hisaori Makina just takes someone else's life into account, so everything works out well.

-- And then, Arika-kun. In the facility you mentioned is her younger brother, Hisaori Shinya...

1 Junshi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junshi) (殉死) (following the lord in death, sometimes translated as "suicide through fidelity"), refers to the medieval Japanese act of vassals committing seppuku (ritual suicide) upon the death of their lord.


Next subchapter - HandS\ (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=928407&viewfull=1#post928407)

August 31st, 2012, 02:23 PM
Wasn't it Mato, not Matou

bahamut zero
August 31st, 2012, 02:28 PM
Wait, Kaiye dresses in....dresses?

August 31st, 2012, 02:29 PM
That's not Kaie bro

August 31st, 2012, 02:32 PM
Wasn't it Mato, not Matou
Sorry, no idea, both would come out same in russian (just like "l" and "r" come out as same "r" in japanese). Can you confirm this please?

August 31st, 2012, 02:33 PM
戸馬 的(とうま まと)

It is Mato.

August 31st, 2012, 02:33 PM
戸馬 的(とうま まと)

It is Mato.
Thanks, find & replace time.


Anyway, weekend's (finally) here. So next chapter update tomorrow at the same time or even earlier.

P.S. Random wiki lurking:
Dichlorodiphenyldichloroethane (DDD) is an organochlorine insecticide that is slightly irritating to the skin.

So too much DDD is bad for your skin. And kills insects.

August 31st, 2012, 03:36 PM
Didn't Makina's mom call her a "weirdo/esccentric/strange person" instead of "a pain in the ass"?

I don't know, anyone can corroborate?

August 31st, 2012, 04:20 PM
Disappear. This Makina is an 目障り.

August 31st, 2012, 04:20 PM
Didn't Makina's mom call her a "weirdo/esccentric/strange person" instead of "a pain in the ass"?

Original line is:


Pain in the ass works for 目障り.

Enhance be clear for launch yo. ( ・_・)b

August 31st, 2012, 04:33 PM
oh updates are always good. xD thanks alot. so is this almost the end of volume 1?

- - - Updated - - -

Disappear. This Makina is an 目障り.

Pain in the ass works for 目障り.

heheh you two posted at the same time. guess kotonoha was a bit earlier tho. i have no idea bout the moon runes tho lmao.

August 31st, 2012, 05:15 PM
Didn't Makina's mom call her a "weirdo/esccentric/strange person" instead of "a pain in the ass"?

I don't know, anyone can corroborate?

Disappear. This Makina is an 目障り.

Original line is:

Pain in the ass works for 目障り.

Enhance be clear for launch yo. ( ・_・)b

Great, learned something new.
I translated it from "A sore(dust) in the eye", (which basically means a bother), so I kinda enhanced™ it to "pain in the ass" (which basically means a bother). Guess both work for "mezawari" (which basically means a bother).

P.S. I could be more precise in translation if I had textual (not the scanned images) representation of Japanese original, but I guess it doesn't exist.

- - - Updated - - -

so is this almost the end of volume 1?
Nope, there's quite a bit of Hand(L) left, and then there's formalhaut. (that marks end of volume 1). I'd say it's roughly getting close to half, if you count in Arai's J the E.

August 31st, 2012, 08:28 PM
Update! Yay!

Umm...Is it okay to ask for explanation?

In the last part, did the doctor means that it's actually Hisaori Makina all the way, pretending/transforming to be Hisaori Shinya?

August 31st, 2012, 08:40 PM
Yep, he was talking about Makina all that time.

August 31st, 2012, 08:49 PM
Why do good characters always die?

I hate it man.

August 31st, 2012, 09:45 PM
Yep, he was talking about Makina all that time.

so, Arika was talking to Makina since the very beginning? And the later killed Shinya actually never met Arika, but was killed by Makina who transformed as Arika?

August 31st, 2012, 10:21 PM
so, Arika was talking to Makina since the very beginning? And the later killed Shinya actually never met Arika, but was killed by Makina who transformed as Arika?

Not sure yet, but it seems like Makina called herself Shinya all that time, and she's the one who's been talking to Ishizue when he was painting. In Japanese they don't say "he" or "she", but since I (and russian translators) were unaware of it, it's translated as "he" in HandS(R) for the most part. But it seems that talking to Ishizue, talking to his sister, and everything else was done by Makina (calling herself Shinya).
See the confusion she had about her name in the first part of Hand(R).

August 31st, 2012, 10:22 PM
Not sure yet, but it seems like Makina called herself Shinya all that time, and she's the one who's been talking to Ishizue when he was painting. In Japanese they don't say "he" or "she", but since I (and russian translators) were unaware of it, it's translated as "he" in HandS(R) for the most part. But it seems that talking to Ishizue, talking to his sister, and everything else was done by Makina (calling herself Shinya).
See the confusion she had about her name in the first part of Hand(R).


as expected from nasu

September 1st, 2012, 01:00 PM



Beginning of 2004.
Three years after being forced into a psychiatric hospital, cured with a 2.5 year long psychiatric course, Hisaori Shinya, in the age of 19, was put into accounting of defense forces, but recognized as socially rehabilitated.
Relatives agreed to accept Hisaori Shinya. Note - coincidentally, his older sister, Hisaori Makina, was discharged from Origa clinic around the same time. No relatives agreed to shelter her, so she made home at municipal welfare organization of Shikura town.
Hisaori Shinya was officially recognized as role model patient both by doctor in charge and by inspectors in charge, his mental and physical condition as best, and the doctor that knew of his condition at the time events took place was applauding to the three year effort of the hospital.
Nevertheless, even the cured Hisaori Shinya's statements about the case remain vague. At that time, his position was that Hisaori Makina was the criminal, and he was the victim, but after a couple of days, after Hisaori Makina was found an A-syndrome carrier, he recognized his mistake, and here's the current version.
He didn't talk about his sister, Hisaori Makina, after that, but two year long court examination announced the Hisaori family case an accident.
Half a year after discharge from health center, Hisaori Shinya was found dead in a room in Nozu industrial area.
Cause of death - blood loss from a lacerated neck wound.
Three years passed from the time he lost parents and pushed his sister from the third floor's balcony. What he was thinking and what he was fearing, no one can know anymore.
Except the one, whom he half a day earlier, in an underground room, told his story.


"I'll tell you about my sister, will you listen?

Not even once I thought of my sister as of a human. Now I have a reason, but while I was a child it was strange, confusing. Even though my sister was so perfect, so ideal, why was she so disgusting to me?.."
Saying that question, with a peaceful look he started his story.


My sister wraps, and I pull out.
These are in kanji of our names, and my mother was saying that my name - Shinya - was born from my sister.
Makina and Shinya. My parents wished we'd become a harmonic brother and sister. I wished so too, but my sister wasn't the type who could understand that human feeling.
A seed of talent ripens only if environment grows it properly. If you give modern weapons to barbarians, things will only get worse, just as our peaceful family didn't need a god. Hisaori Makina was a heavenly punishment for our house.
"Hey, Shinya, your sister wants to be alone sometimes, right? Tell about that to mom and dad. While it's still possible to fix anything..."
Every time we went to play outside, my mother secretly whispered that to my ear. Maybe because she was reminding me of that so much, I have that in my primary memory now. Since I only just entered conscious age, I always just tilted my head and didn't understand what she meant at all. And at the same time I loved my sister, and I was envious that everyone was so nice to her everywhere.
I remember my frustration at mother. My sister was so loved, everyone in the area was greeting her. Why does she look at my sister with that alienated look?
"... Yeah. Shinya-kun, you're Makina-chan's brother..."
Situation started to change when I started going to school.
I was in the second grade, and my homeroom teacher picked me out only because I was Makina's brother. He was her homeroom teacher last year. Makina wasn't a very diligent student year ago, and didn't have much interest in study.
"Well, you just have to memorize that. Just a game, why would I be stubborn."
Makina didn't have anything of a kid, and a teacher didn't have anything of an adult. She thought of games and studies as of something silly, so teacher answered - memorize it all, or I won't let you in class. Next couple days Makina didn't leave her room. We lived in a same room with sister before middle school, so I knew what was happening. Day and night she was on the two-story bed, "memorizing", just like teacher said.
After some three days Makina came back to class, after memorizing by heart every second year textbook. But that wasn't the end of it - she externally passed to next grade, raining information about authority and homeroom teacher's common sense, and finally stopped at sixth year subjects. Why? Because junior student couldn't get further graded textbooks.
Teacher made two mistakes. He gave Makina a goal; he told her that studying is memorizing. It was probably fortunate that around her were second graders - they didn't understand what mad mess was Makina making. A girl that can study everything in one day - that's it. Really fortunate. A year later, she would be compared to me.
For a year, the teacher was doing his best trying to make Makina a student. After some time, he could not bear it any longer, and was forced to come to us.

"Your daughter is an incredibly talented student. Our school is not a place for her. I would recommend her to a more advanced facility", and so on. If we transfer her, he'll write a recommendation, but the school wouldn't bother looking for the 'more advanced facility'... And it became clear that at school everyone also understood how strange Makina is. It would be fine with a simply "talented" student, but transferring someone lacking in the sense of humanity itself would make it their responsibility. The transfer has to be done by Hisaori family's will alone. But dad was always responding with this line:
-- Different school means constant trips somewhere far, we don't have money for that. Our Makina is fine where she is now.
And so the lion Makina kept visiting the little kitten society.
Yes... Surely after that experience with my sister, of course he picked me out. By the way, after that teacher heard a rumor about me getting alienated from my class, he left school right away. He was a good guy, was coming to work on a cool car. By the end he was riding some miserable junk, students were laughing at him, and he shut himself in his own world. After that, I remember, my dad saw a newspaper, made an awkward face and mumbled something about suicide and rope. Upperclassmen were saying as a matter of course: "Because Makina took a dislike to him".
... Even though I don't want to think about it... someone of Makina's henchmen irresponsibly threw in something like, you have to get rid of your enemies.
Only after that case I understood why was my mother saying what she was saying back then. Human without some base knowledge of some area wouldn't know what's happening in it. A great innovative engine wouldn't impress ones that see cars simply as movement devices. To understand Makina's actions, you would need at least a tiny bit of her intelligence.
You can laugh at my bragging now, but I got to be the best in my class now too, and I understood that I'm above average level. Yeah, I had best grades until the first year of high school, I was quite talented. But I didn't have the time to feel my superiority. Fortunate or unfortunate, I didn't get to.
So to say, I felt like an imp living next to Satan.
If I'm not careful, my self-confidence and everything else along will be crushed. That's all from my younger years, and that's how Hisaori Makina was.
Makina was amazing adults, whatever she was said to do. God's child, genius, there was no one in Nozu that didn't know her. But if you look closer - she's doing everything without putting any effort, but still she comes far further than anyone, so normal people decide to ignore it. You mustn't look at the sun directly.
-- Sis, you're not seriously trying hard, right?
-- Nope. Or else I'll become completely alone.
One day before vacation, I sent a question to the direction of second story of the bed, and got my answer. Weird answer. Makina doesn't understand herself, what's that "I'll become completely alone"? She's been completely alone for a while now, she just didn't notice it.


With every passing Makina's school year, parents were harder and harder too look at. Even I understood that. They're praising her in words, but their faces say "we don't need you, you're just a bother". That isn't strange. Makina succeeds in one thing, but makes others lose many other things. Money, for example. Makina gets highest grades in Shikura, but she consumed whole family budget. If she starts learning, she requires endless amount of material. She's buying books here and there, memorizes them, and burns the ones she read for some reason. Budget is literally vaporizing because of her. Like a poor man riding limousine. She was both parents' pride and cause of the beggarly life with no money. But at the same time Makina was an unrivaled role model student, so parents couldn't scold her. While treating her like a painful corn, they desperately played love with the daughter. How heinous. Both parents, humiliating themselves before a fifth grader, and the sister, who believed their tormented smiles. She really doesn't understand anything concerning herself.
There was nothing she couldn't do, neither at home nor at school.
If you say school's role is to teach how to teach oneself, mother's role is to do housework, and father's role is to get money - she didn't need any of them anymore.
I think she did everything herself. It was different when she was a child. Any talented child is still bound by conventions of society. We were calming ourselves down, saying to ourselves that she's a child, but still we were afraid of the fact that she's less and less of a child every year. She was unrivaled, but she didn't have any allies.
And still, Makina was a great older sister. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't catch up with her; no matter how hard I studied, my good grades faded in comparison; it was an amazing barrier. Like a complex cancer case, always reigning my mind.
Not even once I thought of my sister as of a human. She's like a god. She's inspiring amazement with her perfection and thrill with her power. Gods are something like this, right?
But one summer, when Makina was in fifth grade... My goddess suddenly went crazy.
"Dad, look, a ghost!.."
In the white of day, Makina calls dad. Tired dad doesn't react to her call, me and mother don't hurry to her side either.
Because the whole family is tired of Makina by now.
"Burning, burning! Black, like ash, black, like ash..."
Makina's interested voice at the balcony is calm. Maybe she's just joking, maybe it's just her imagination. Her tone of voice tells that it's not necessary to run to her side, a girlish, cute voice.
Oh, and by the way... Makina only talked in this voice at that one time.

Sometimes I get tormented by a thought - what if that was a desperate scream, the first time Makina ever asked her family for help? Because if dad pulled her back from balcony then, saved her... Sister always went the wrong path, but never did misstep, and here...
Makina was on the balcony until sunset, and then mother took her back to her room. The next day, during breakfast, Makina, as usual, smiled to mom and dad, saw the awkward fake smiles in return and yelped a little.
-- He-e...
Unwillingly, I smiled too. Funny. She can do anything, but she only just noticed that.
And so Makina became a comedy hero.
Realizing everyone's hate to her, she started trying so hard, like it was a matter of life and death. She tried to return to the former world, world she saw before. Doing everything in her usual way, showing off her genius, she was throwing herself on everyone - come on, be friends with me! It was already getting extreme and becoming a tragedy. She comes in to play with you when you're alone, with no previous arrangements, gives you what she likes herself, forcefully finds and solves your problems. She'll also tell you about your faults and characteristics, all in details. Her acquaintances were more and more afraid of her, but Makina didn't mind that and kept on dashing at a breakneck pace.

She wanted to show herself a nice girl before neighbors. She was sucking up not just to her fellows, but to their parents as well. Makina kept on doing that in the scale of whole school, whole street blocks. Once decided, she didn't know any other ways... And she was getting the opposite result. Like a dancing doll with head on fire. If you wanted to make friends, you shouldn't have been so forceful.
We were accepting complaints at a regular basis, like eating rice or drinking tea. Do something with your girl, please. She's weird. Every time Makina heard those complaints through her mother, she became more and more desperate. As usual, she brought her method to a dead point.
-- I've had enough!.. Are you loony?! Stop fooling in front of adults!..
Mother broke. Yeah, it was her who kept getting into the hurricanes Makina created, and then...
-- A, ah... Da, daddy, I, I...
... Makina clung to dad.
Dad was even more disappointed in her, than mom:
-- Makina. Be at home now. Bad girl like you shouldn't do anything.
My sister was no longer called Makina. Fake smiles erased from parents' faces, it was, to say, the only thing Makina succeeded in doing with her way. Dad stopped bringing her daughter to administration house, mother, who didn't look at me before, started being happy with her son's - usual - success, and only my name was leaving her mouth.
Even at school Makina was treated like an empty place. From first and to sixth grade she was ignored, like she was invisible. It could happen to me too, but I made a victim out of myself and avoided that fate. That sad truth. I was always blinded by Makina's shine, do I have to be on her side now? And everyone thought the same, probably. Let her be like that, a child.
Four years, from since Makina got in middle school, were the best years of my life.
She was moved to a different room, used before as a storage room, and the big room, where we lived together before, was just mine now.
Around the same time, Makina became lifeless, kept looking down at the floor, was quiet like a ghost. When mom or dad tried talking to her, she yelped. Sometimes she looked in my direction with a lonely look, but I answered that with a fixed stare, and she fled to her room right away. Makina's life collapsed. Everything around her was scary, she came to a dead end which she couldn't get out from alone.
-- O-oh... Isn't there anything to do with Makina? Shinya, can't you save her? You're her brother after all.
-- I don't feel like it. Mom, don't push it on me when you're lazy to do so yourself. Ah right, about food, maybe she should eat alone in her room? Dad would be happy, and coming to call her for dinner everyday is a bother.
Makina would gloomily sit in a corner of her room, like a ghost, it isn't right, but who cares.
Makina forgot how to do anything, and the former wunderkind became a shame of Hisaori family. Of course, I had to do with it a too. Getting to the same middle school, I was studying as hard as I could. Because of that, powerless Makina was compared to me, and even at school they didn't leave her alone. Makina fled to my classroom a lot of times, but I fixed my stare at her and she ran away again. Everyone kept their distance from her at school, and at other places, but I didn't really keep watch of it. I didn't really have to know of those places anyway, I didn't solve her problems and I didn't tell parents about it.
And so, Makina was ostracized from society.
-- O-oh... finally...
... Managed to lock down a beast.
Yes. I was always afraid. Just as I was in awe, in the depths of my soul I wished for her to be gone, and couldn't do anything about it...


In high school, Makina kept skipping classes from the first semester, and stopped going there at all before summer vacation. Closed in a dark room, she only showed up for dinner. Last stage. Makina, day after day losing her abilities, couldn't even talk normally anymore.
Like a newborn child. She could forget how to breathe like that. So it happened that mom was taking care of her, she even talked to father about placing her to an orphanage. Of course, father's answer was the same: "We don't have money for that. Deal with it yourself".
I had exams to do, mother was losing last drops of her love to Makina, who became a topic for local rumors. Makina's care was getting close to the bottom line. Mother kept on saying, as if trying to convince herself, that Hisaori family only has one child, Shinya, and kept on taking care of me.
For half a year, until I graduated, Makina was left alone for herself in her dark room... And I foolishly let that relax me. Of course, graduation ceremony was partly at fault, but I was naive myself. And once I thought that was a goddess, even though with a stretch. How could I think that Makina won't say anything again, how could I think I'm her level...
-- And so, Shinya. Teacher decided to move you two to same class.
-- Wha-a-at?
Makina shuddered.
Before the holiday table, for the first time in six years, mother put her fake smile on.
-- Why's so? What are you talking about? Does sister still want to attend school?
Makina, who didn't go to school for a whole year, probably couldn't pass to next grade. Mother, who thought of her as of a bother, but still pricing the parental duty, thought that she wants her daughter to graduate from school, so she signed her up for a second year.
-- What's so bad in that? With you, Shinya, even she could go to school.
So said the father, who didn't understand anything, but tried to make it look like he did. Putting an older sister on a second year with her younger brother? What nonsense. Father, teachers alike - are they idiots or what? It's not the way to deal with it now...
-- What the hell, not funny! I'm not going to nurse her. [x]
If I just refused that straight, instead of saying anything about nursing...
No, not like that...
-- M-m... aw.
If at that moment Makina didn't drop her spoon, everything would be alright.
-- Pick it up, Makina. You dropped it. What? Don't be silent, we're not clairvoyant. Or you don't hear me?
You dropped a spoon? Mother says, pick it up yourself.
Listening to mother's order, Makina slowly picked up the spoon. Dad pretended not to look. Makina lonely looks at mother with a spoon in her hand.
-- M... Mommy, feed me.
Bang - atmosphere at the table breaks.. Makina can't even eat by herself.
Mother angrily hits the table:
-- Enough, so spoiled! You can't even eat yourself?! Are you stupid?! When did you become such a klutz?! You have a fine example before you! If you can't do anything, you should've just watched Shinya and learned!
Mm, yeah... You know, mother.
That was the one line that should've never been told.
-- Ah?..
Makina's eyes shine, like lenses:
-- Mother, can I do something myself?
-- Of course. You're not a child, so if you don't understand something, copy Shinya. You won't bother anyone that way, and that's enough.
Don't give her a goal.
Don't teach her the methods.
This mechanism must not be started.

-- Ahh. I see... I'll do so.

After that, Hisaori family's history turns around to be a real mess.

Well, and me...
Whatever I did, nothing worked out well.


In high school, we with Makina started learning in same class. To be honest, I thought it couldn't get worse.
"Older sister repeating grade because of low attendance" - this crest doesn't suit me. Father's poverty brought me misfortune here too - he didn't want to pay for our education, so he only let us take exams in a local high school.
Makina would surely drag me down. She can't even eat alone - who would like such a girl? No one. Weak are deprived of human rights in school. Pride, physique, difference in grades, and looking like it's a matter of course to blame you in all her sins. Makina has it all. If she'll get bullied, no one will save her. Because it's meaningless to save her. You save her, and she's thoroughly rotten, and in the end you only get more problems. If it wasn't for relatives, I don't think anyone could be kind to her.
But high school life, which begun with a headache about ostracism, appeared, in fact, beautiful.
For the first month, Makina spared me her presence in classroom.
In this local high school I have many acquaintances, and teachers remembered me from the good side, so I became central figure of the class, found friends and trust. Sometimes a topic about my absent sister was raised, but I'm already used to avoiding that talk. Graduating from middle school to high school, Hisaori Shinya made yet another great step.

... But there was one thing. One thing that bothered me. Makina stopped leaving her room.
Every time I felt a stare and turned around, Makina was always looking at me. There wasn't a day when our gazes didn't meet. I got irritated by that, and stared at her in return. Before, she always fled... But now, bearing the unfriendly stare, she kept closely watching me. Without blinking, like a camera, she kept looking at Hisaori Shinya.
In May, I realized that I'm uncomfortable with that.
One evening, dad was in unusually good mood and was talking to Makina about all sorts of stuff. Something about successful work, thanks to Makina, something else... Not funny. I remembered how we were sitting behind this same table when we were still kids.

-- So, Makina, I bought you a cage, but don't you want a bird?

-- No. I have a cage, why would I need what's inside?
Dad was happily smiling. Makina asked to buy something - it's a rarity. Dad agreed to buy it - it's a rarity too. I kept watching this scene from the side, alienated, and after those words I finally got it.
Dad called Makina by her name, and Makina, without saying a word, is casually smiling in return.
Relationship between Makina and dad got strangely better. One Sunday, when I came back after club activities, dad and Makina were playing ball outside. They often went shopping. After bath, they were watching TV together.
-- Thanks, Shinya, now Makina cheered up!
Mother was looking at them with a long forgotten face expression. I didn't do anything, but Makina cheered up because of me, she says... For some reason, I became disgusted.

"You know, Makina. I actually wanted a son like you."

And he happily patted Makina's head. I swear, Makina is not a boy.
So disgusting, so nauseating. Of course it is - how could a completely isolated person become so normal again in just one month? How could daughter, hated so much by her parents, get along with them so fast? I didn't understand what's the most disgusting part of it at first.
And so, in June, Makina came back to school, like nothing happened.


From that time I started having nightmares.
I opened my eyes from an indescribable feeling of occlusion.
It happens at midnight, lights are off. I throw a look at the door - it's opened a little. Surely, something is watching.
Behind the door, darkness is much deeper than in the room; uncovered, interrupted breath.

In that gap...
Pupil, like a camera. A creature, made of eye alone...


From the side, we with Makina looked like a friendly family. Makina was bit by bit getting along with her classmates, making friends, cleaning her tainted name.
"Schoolgirl that wasn't coming to classes" is a weakling that is to blame.
But "schoolgirl trying to come to classes again" is a weakling that is to be defended.
If I ignore such a righteous sister, I'll become the one to blame. As a good brother, I could only silently watch over Makina's rehabilitation. Even if I was completely disgusted with it.
Makina peacefully, smoothly, was becoming part of class. Completely unlike her. Such a honestly average behavior was coming from Makina I didn't know. I feel like spitting. A monster like that can't get along with us people. With such an obviously forced smile you can't get popular, it's too fake. Such a newcomer can't get other people's trust, it would be too shallow. World that I supported can't be so simple.
-- What, she's easy to talk to. Hisaori-san, mm, even though she's a girl, she's like a guy. And again, she's nice to talk to.
-- Makina is really like you.
-- Really? Isn't it the opposite? More like Shinya-kun is like Makina-san.
That's what middle school friends are saying. Like Hisaori Shinya has two bodies.

"If you can't do anything, you should just watch Shinya and learn!"

Yes... I knew that without saying.
There was another me in the class. From the everyday habits to learning and grades. From the manner of speaking - supporting the partner, then returning to yourself - to general topics and personal likings that are scary to others. All of that was mine.
Really, I feel like spitting. "Stop that!.." Her new life completely changed in two months.


From day to day, Makina's imitation kept focusing.
From learning to detailed copying.
From retelling to complete playback.
She kept diligently imitating Hisaori Shinya.
What for - I don't know. Her head's working multitude times better than mine. Even if she just decided to act like me, for whatever reason, in the end a perfect, better personality would appear. She just concentrated on imitating.
Something was seriously wrong with her. Copying your idol's tastes is fine. Sometimes you get inspired by someone and you feel like becoming just like that person. But for Makina I'm just a person that happened to be close at the moment. Like a random passerby. Can you psychologically copy actions of someone like that? No interest, no respect, he can't be a goal. It is not worth the efforts and time. Is that really a possible thought for a living being? Even a monster should have its own motives, own will.
But all I could do was swallow my discontent.
Makina became a positive and reasonable, sane, role model student, and I, even though knowing how heinous she is, could only just keep on playing friendly relatives with her.
Completely useless effort. Even without it the balance kept on shifting everyday, and the year repeating loser was becoming a spotlight in class, just like me. She became a leader among girls, and I was a leader among guys. It probably looked like we're a happy family.
At home though, there was only one spotlight.
In just two months, Hisaori family completely restructured. Parents stopped looking at Shinya and started to see the happiness in Makina's smile. With every coming day I felt it's becoming harder and harder to live there.
"Say, Shinya. Can't you give your room to your sister?"
Not funny. I won that room. Makina, after running away to storage room, can't just simply return there.
"Makina, are you free next weekend? Dad wants to go to one place."
Enviable honesty. He was wearing a fake smile mask before, and now he's shamelessly spoiling her.
I've got enough of that family lunch. I get up to come back to my room.

-- Wait, Shinya. Relax your right shoulder before sleeping, or your neck would get stiff at morning.

Is that so. Bathing in parents' care, Makina tells me about Hisaori Shinya's - mine - body feature, that I myself didn't know about. I feel like I heard shutter sound in her lifeless eyes.
Without a response, I averted my eyes and rushed to my room. Probably because I lost peace of mind from Makina's dominance. My room, which I was heartfully cleaning, was becoming dirtier and dirtier. Today too, I ignored it and fell onto bed.
Next morning I woke up with a stiff neck, because I ignored Makina's warning.
Well, of course.
-- Good morning, Makina. Oh, is your neck stiff? Are you alright?
During breakfast it appeared, that predicting even my ignorance, Makina woke up with a stiff neck.


Excessive imitation is but an aggression to original. Starting from second semester, Hisaori Shinya's chair almost managed to drop me down.
One day, my friend declined my offer to go for a walk. He said he got some urgent business to deal with, no time to play. He rarely rejected my offers, but why not, it can happen to anyone. I didn't give it much thought, and walked downtown for shopping, where I accidentally saw Makina...
-- What the hell?..
... next to whom faces of my friends, who rejected my invitation, were shining with smiles.
I don't want to remember what I felt back then. They were the ones who broke the promise. I'm right, but I'm a victim in all possible ways. I rushed home right away. Just because if they noticed me, I'd feel ashamed.
"H-Hi, Shinya. I just accidentally met Makina there."
Stop it. Excuses like that make it even worse. If you say those excuses, it will only add to the cold.
"What the... Think a little, come on. Okay, okay. Shinya, want to come with us?"
I don't even want to think about it!.. It will be me that would be like an avoided, but putting his nose everywhere loser with no friends!..
-- Uh, uh, uh, a-a-a-ah!
I flew into the room, shut the door and screamed. I feel like doing it. I feel like letting all that anger out on that meaningless cleanliness, mess it all up. But my self-esteem didn't let me do it. Stop. Stop. Stop. No need to look for compensation. I didn't lose anything. No, nothing, I will only trip on my own foot and roll down. Now it's best to just calm down. But I can't seem to do it. Looks like I got asthma now. My head started aching, I almost fell from dizziness, when - click - the closed door opened.
-- Sister...
Makina enters. I retreat to bed. Makina stands motionless in the messed up room.
-- W... What do you want? Don't enter others' rooms without permission.
-- Yup. I just saw you. You ran away all of a sudden. Something happened?
Asthma disappeared. Dizziness was gone. Instead of that, I felt my brain being set on fire, and I almost got smoke coming out of my ears.
-- What, what. How serious you are anyway?
I mumble. This is bad. My throat burns. This is bad. I understand what you're trying to say, but questioning me so much is unreasonable. I said that already long ago - this monstrous creature, as soon as you know its true face, starts attacking people.
-- Serious about what? Did I do something to you, Shinya?
-- And you keep doing it, openly... What was that? Why were you with Saitou and others, sis? You're a girl, why don't you just have fun with girls? Why... why did you have to steal my friends?!
But this can't be stopped. Irritated, and probably scared, I can't stop my words.
-- Ah, so that's it, - she says.
Closes her eyes.
And then Makina...
-- But Saitou-kun called me himself. He says, Shinya is boring. He's not even special anymore. He said, if he is to choose between me and him, I'm more interesting.
...awkwardly chuckled, like she's pitying me.
-- Kh-h!..
Bang! - a sharp sound.
Everything went white, my right fist is on fire.
Makina didn't even yelp. She just limply falls on her butt.
-- Ah... eh?..
Humane reasoning is crumbling. It's unpleasant. For the first time, I used brute force, and it was so abhorrent I felt like rolling time back. Makina turned away and rubbed a newborn bruise on her right cheek. She got quiet because she's surprised with little brother hitting her? No. She... it can't be... is smiling?..

-- You're disgusting.
Makina is the weak one, I'm the one swinging fists. But my legs are shaking, and Makina's shoulders are quivering.
-- What are you laughing at, shut up! What's so funny?! You're crazy! Get scared, like before!..
-- Nothing's funny. Never before I thought of anything as fun.
Slowly raises her gaze. Monster, with shining camera eyes...
-- That's why I couldn't do anything as myself... But yes. I tried to take your place, Shinya, and it seems to be entertaining.
... for the first time on my memory she really laughed in joy - he-he.
Question that was tormenting me from the very childhood got an answer. What was so disgusting in her? It's so simple. Makina was crying, she was getting angry. But she never once rejoiced.
-- Fun... wh... why?
Scared, I could only ask this... If I started to beg her to stop this, maybe she would've done so. Too late.
-- Weeell. It's funnier for everyone this way! You can disappear, Shinya. I'll be Shinya instead. Because, you see, I'm better at being Shinya than you.
She can't be stopped anymore. I looked at my right fist, red in Makina's blood. Don't laugh. Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh. You're not the one everyone loves. You're not the one for whom everything goes well. Don't copy me. Don't move. What the hell, what the hell, you, you...
-- You can't do nothing but copy me!..
A hit sounded in the room. Makina hits the wall, a shelf falls down, books drop on her head. Slight bleeding. A bit to the right, and her eye would've been damaged.
For how long that destruction was continuing?.. I only remember how mother came back and bandaged Makina. Wounds on her face were minor, so she was alright. But there was no longer a place for me in the house.
Dad scolded me. Makina stood up to me. Mother got touched by sister's kindness. I dully looked at the fallen shelf. Sigh... It was the one we built together with sister in our childhood, my favorite shelf...


Tendency got even stronger.
What came after that is obvious. Parents were charmed with Makina, I lost more friends. I was becoming more and more scared of being cornered, and I desperately fought to avoid that. But nothing worked out well for me. Because Makina could do my actions better than me - too good. I stopped understanding, how I became successful before, and in the end, I was forced to learn from Makina.
She was supposedly the one copying me, but now it's me who tries to catch up. I'm learning from her, how to be Hisaori Shinya she's imagining. I don't even understand what was I like originally.
The end came abruptly.
The class I still had my place in, I dropped myself. Because of a trifle matter. One morning, I came into classroom, Makina was giving out printouts. "It's my responsibility as the class representative, not yours.", I said, and raised my hand at Makina, just like at home.
"Why are you doing this?!", I said. And the exact same phrase came back to me from everyone else.

The next day, when I entered classroom, my desk was thrown away.


Mhm, eh... Who was the first to drop school? Well, doesn't matter.
From the second semester I stopped coming to school and was sitting in my room. Everything was a mess there, like in dirty ruins scheduled for demolition. My mother came in from time to time, worried, and dad only came in once, in the end.
Makina - I think she was always in my room. I remembered how Makina was before, and just like her I was bearing the torture of time. Looking at nothing, thinking of nothing. I think Makina was living just like that.
So Hisaori Shinya is deprived of any qualities of value. It's meaningless to copy him. Leave him alone. I can't do anything and I'm good for nothing now.
-- Uh...
But when parents were asleep, when I was in kitchen, or when I was walking the hallway to toilet and turned around, Makina was silently standing there. Watching me, clicking with her shutters. Those eyes kept watching me, not person, but trash. And mechanic, cold voice said:

-- Hey... Are you not going to do anything new?

I screamed and ran away to my room. Closed my door. Got under the blanket. Light is long broken. I closed windows, shutters, isolated myself. In my room is darkness, only light from under the door gets in.
But she can see right through me, even if I lock myself in the room, she watches my every move.
Yes... It was always like that. Why didn't I notice it before? Fleeing to my room was the mistake. It's a cage. Everyday I was under her watch. How? Hah. There's nothing this monster can't do. If I open shutters now, there's a huge eye looking inside my room.
-- No... No, no, don't, stop...
When Makina was copying me, it was fine. But when I have nothing left to show her, my usefulness is gone. Makina always burns the books after reading them. So now, even when I hide so she stops seeing through me...
-- You can't do it like that, Shinya. Even if you manage to cut your wrist with that, it will only hurt. To do it properly, you would need at least that hard knife you stole yesterday.

Someone, help me...
It feels like this room is inside her eyeball.


... In the end, it became apparent. I couldn't become Makina.

Life without any thoughts can't be achieved with a soul. I was all cracked, but wasn't crumbling yet. I was afraid of Makina, and then I got tired from being scared and started thinking of a way out from this situation.
To start with - can't I do something so Makina leaves me alone? She was copying me because I didn't save her from her classmates' bullying. It's her revenge. If I say sorry, maybe she'll forgive me - I hoped, got up from bed and talked to Makina, who was right here.
"Why? I never was mad at you", she says, fixing the broken shelf.
Family voices, coming from kitchen:
"Dad, maybe it's time to throw away that cage?"
"Do whatever you want, Makina. But why do you want to throw it away? I thought you treasured it."
"Nah. I never once treasured it. Inside it was just a meaningless worm anyway. And it's boring, to be honest."

-- Ha... Ha-ha!
I felt like killing her. Locked body and constantly thieved soul reached a limit and broke it. What's with that everyday tone. Like everything's over. She stole "Hisaori Shinya", and no one cares now?!
-- Yes... How naive I am...
Not revenge, not being mad - she won't be touched by such humane emotions. It's meaningless to say sorry. She never had any feelings about me. So now she'll get for it.
If I become useless to her now.
Before that, I'll avenge myself.
Burning, inextinguishable determination. All fired up, I waited for night, made sure it's past two o'clock, and started to look for a fitting tool...
How lucky. Even though a toy, there was a baseball bat in cabinet.
-- Ha-a-a...
Toy, but made of steel. It's gonna hurt if you get hit with that.
-- Ha-a-ah...
But it can't be helped. I rewound everything that happened in my memory, concentrated my hate. Hand, tightly gripping the handle... Ha, it's lighter than I thought! Even I will manage like that. Slowing my breath, quietly, I open the door. Now through hallway, through kitchen, and then to Makina's room.
Yes, I had to do so from the start. I'm not weaker than her. Even Makina is a girl, if she gets hit with a bat so it hurts, b... b-break her hand, at least - she'll think about it and understand it's dangerous to corner me.
-- Ha-a... ha-a...
I enter the hallway. Four steps after, I enter kitchen. The lights are out. Kitchen is covered in darkness. No human presence.
Some more steps, and kitchen is left behind.
At the same time...
-- Ah?..
At the other side of the kitchen, before the opened storage room door...
Stood Hisaori Makina.

Like in a mirror. At exactly same time that I entered kitchen, Makina left her room. In my hand, I hold baseball bat. In her hand is a sharpened, shiny knife.
-- M-m...
It was a complete imitation. She knows Hisaori Shinya's conscience's state, she knows its limits, she's imitating Hisaori Shinya.
But - a knife and a bat. My Shinya wanted to scare, Makina's Shinya wanted to kill.
-- Damn.
Makina smiles in embarrassment.
-- Eh, so I made a mistake in the end. Sorry, Shinya, you appeared to be smaller.
That's when it happened, I guess.
What was before me finally crumbled to dust.
I can't defeat this. I can do whatever I want, but my Hisaori Shinya can't match her Shinya. I just didn't understand before, that I'm already an empty old caterpillar cocoon, left to be stepped on and forgotten.


Beginning of 2001. My last story before I came to clinic.

That day was Makina's birthday. It wasn't even mentioned until last year, but now from dusk mother and father were engrossed in preparation. I locked myself in my room and I only pray for dawn to come.
"Hisaori Shinya" long in Makina's ownership. She just has to wish for it, and I'll disappear. Makina's birthday. Holy resurrection of the one who was dead, but reborn as Hisaori Shinya.
Makina got lively from the very morning. She called me to join in a lot of times. Saying I should dine with everyone at least today. Not funny. Even in this room I feel like disappearing from others' gazes, and down below, in light, if I meet eyes with Makina, my heart will stop for sure.
-- Come on already, Shinya. It's your sister's birthday.
I kept on ignoring calls for me, and it seems like mother lost her patience. She opened the almost always locked door and entered my room. Without any restraint, to the very center of it. Where Makina is always standing, in the very center of the ruin.

"Why are you still sleeping? And the room is a mess, when will you already..."
...become like your older sister?

Boring. Hallway lights are blinding. If I close the door - they scold me... I'll go back to darkness. Mother's still here.
"You hear me? It's sister's birthday today! Makina doesn't like that you're not there. She says she wants to celebrate with Shinya!"
Boring. Makina. Makina. Makina. Mother's proudly saying her name. She's so boring. Why do you care about me, you're just dragging me out of bed to please Makina. Enough. Stop it. I don't want it. I'm sad to see Makina, to see you so happily talk to Makina. If you care about Makina so much...
"Come on... Sister's waiting for you."
... please, I'm begging you, leave me aloooone!..
-- Kh!..
I push away. To the side of the door, which the uncalled guest came in through, I push this Makina's pawn. Bang - sound of hitting against the closed door, slap - sound of falling down on the butt.
-- Shinya! What are you...
Angry mother. At the moment when I thought it happened before... Creak!
-- He... ah?
From mother's neck, a fountain of blood gushed forth.
And... a sound of falling junk. In the light from the gap in the door, I somehow check on the situation.
Right above the door - when did it appear there? - tilted, was a shelf with a broken bracket, and stuff from it dropped on mother. And in mother's throat was a shining blade, which dropped on the floor, precisely slicing her throat.
It has to be said, it was beautiful. Blade fell vertically, but, as if it was funneled, it caught mother's throat with a sharp tip and sliced it through.
-- He-ey... Mom?..
No answer. Forced breathing sound. Sea of blood. Can't even say if she's alive or not.
-- Sh... Shi... he... lp...
Shinya, help. I don't understand it like that, mom. You could try to learn, say, ventriloquism.
-- Kh-h...
I look at the murder weapon. Knife. The one that was supposed to kill me. I didn't have time to understand what that means, when...
"What's with the noise? Did something happen?"
...dad's voice came from the hallway. Door handle turns. Mother is blocking the door. Dad forcefully opened the door, and still breathing mother's body rolled on the floor.
What scary image appeared before his eyes?..
Dad's reaction was a pleasantly fitting calmness. First thing first, he hit me, standing dumbfounded, and then right away checked mother's condition. Ripped her clothes, and put them to her throat. Decided that it's dangerous to move her, and, yelling at me not to move, ran through the hallway. Step-step-step... But it wasn't right. Dad, wanting to call an ambulance as soon as possible, ran through a narrow kitchen hallway to kitchen, and..
...bang - he tripped over something and fell down. I heard the sound of falling. Problem appeared later. When I was waiting and waiting, but neither the sound of him getting up, nor the dinging sound of picking up phone wasn't heard.
Silence. The only thing heard was mother's breathing.
I sneak out of the room and pass the brightly lit hallway. It's even brighter there, and next to the dinner table.
With a blade deeply stuck in his left eye, lied motionless father's body.

-- It's dangerous to walk with things like that, Shinya.
On the other side of the table, before the phone, without a single drop of blood on her clothes, stands smiling Makina.
As she said "with things like that", I look at my hand - it was gripping a knife. Nervously, I relax my grip. Thum - stained blade gets stuck in the floor.
-- Sister...
What happened - I can't even think about it.
Did father die, or is he on brink of death, like mother - that's all I'm thinking about.
-- Sister...
Stupid me, I still had some hope left. I wanted to explain the situation somehow, call ambulance, but...
-- Good job, Shinya. So, where did that thing hit mother? Right eye or jugular vein?
... I realized. This here, that is talking to me, was the one that gave father the decisive strike.
-- Do you not hear me? I'm asking, what's up with mother. The shelf fell, right? I didn't see it, at least tell me about it. What did it pierce, right eye or throat?
I'm getting sick. No point in asking Makina what happened. She's not interested whether mom is alive or dead, she's only interested in where the knife hit her.
-- How do you know this?..
Worry for mom and dad was defeated by terror.
Doesn't matter. Not the shelf, not the knife that shouldn't have been there, not the motionless dad. There's no point to ask about anything of it, it's all apparent anyway.
But why? Why does she know so precisely what happened to mother?..
-- What's with you? It's just math and physics. I know the size and mass of mother's body, her step length, put it all in formulae and the result is obvious. What were you doing in school all that time, Shinya?
Ahh... So that's how it is.
My room wasn't organized by me. She's the one that arranged everything so it happens. Messy floor, broken light, the place from which she was talking to me - everything was arranged so she can reach her goal.
And then she just had to wait for when all conditions were met. Today wasn't the time for decisive actions, and she, who didn't care when to start, was waiting for me to flip the switch. She kept waiting for Hisaori Shinya to attack his mother.
-- But why? Stop that. If you decided to do it, there are softer methods.
I'm small. I'm not ready to kill, you know it better than I do.
-- O-oh. I see. Mother has a life-threatening wound. Well, the difference between life and death was about whether she stood on her feet or fell on her butt. I tried to add the weight as much as I could, but in the end the distance was depending on you two. Both you and mother were unlucky.
If I was a bit weaker, if mother stood a bit steadier, if the room wasn't in a mess, she wouldn't have fallen?
But you know what, Makina. With all that said, you didn't leave father, lying here, to his luck.
-- Yup, what's with mother, I understand. Now it's time to go on.
Makina turns around and picks up the phone.
-- What are you... doing?
-- What? I'm calling police, obviously. We have such a terrifying occurrence here.
I'm failing to understand that.
Police? Not ambulance? But after that, Makina would be arrested. After all, this tragedy was arranged by...
-- Got it? Shinya, your clothes are stained with blood. that's a problem. Also, as a fact, in Hisaori family's circumstances half a year ago, you used brute force on me couple times.
-- ...
Narrowness of thinking from self-inflicted damage. For panorama, use fisheye lens. I felt dizziness, my body tried to part with my consciousness.
I feel like I've lost my mind. Makina is pressing the buttons.
-- You know who would they think did it. Oh, here. Hello, police?
-- Ah!..
Can't allow. Can't allow. Can't allow. A bat. For some reason, a bat was conveniently lying in kitchen, I'll redo what I couldn't do that night, hand, at least a hand, yes, at least her hand I had to break back then!..
-- A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!!
I swing the bat with all I have. Full-swing at Makina's right hand, gripping the phone. Amazing, world-ripping sound. Phone dropped down, I break it too.
- Ah... ah, ha-ha, ah...
Almost falling, I support myself with the bat.
Saved... Can't call police now. Police has to come for her, but I could stop her in time. Oh...
-- E-eh. Broke a phone?
With a broken hand, Makina moves to balcony with light steps.

-- You're so scary, Shinya. You don't want police to be called that much?

Ha... Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
-- And now, farewell. You finally released your chair.
She opens a window. Outside is a beautiful sunset. Red balcony - just like back then, when she saw a ghost.
-- But don't worry. Shinya will be isolated from society, but I'll continue Shinya's way of acting.
Yes... She'll take Hisaori Shinya's place, and I'll be forgotten by everyone. Only one person can sit in a chair. For Makina to sit there, the weak, pitiful, but still owning the chair me had to be disposed of first.
-- Sister... sister, sister, sister...
I don't know myself what I want to say.
I want forgiveness, I want help, maybe I want to believe that this is my sister...
And this, chuckling in the end...

-- Stupid... Bye-bye, Shinya.

From the side it looked like she was running away from me, laughing, jumping from the third floor's balcony.



Three years after Hisaori Shinya was arrested, charged in murder of his parents and physical violence to his sister, beginning of year 2004.
I was put on accounting, but still, they let me to rehabilitate. I had a chance again.
Of course, she didn't die back then, she only lost her hand. She was supposed to come out unscratched, but the broken hand messed her plan. So she's not almighty. Maybe it was heavenly punishment, but after that she was, just like me, isolated from the world for thorough examination.
The plan to to empty me, drive me away from Hisaori Shinya was flawless, but when everything was over, she was adjudged to be possessed. Isn't it a little to late, damn it? I knew it many years ago that she wasn't human.
With that, of course, I got mitigating circumstances. As I was living with an A-syndrome carrier, lawyer kept talking about huge psychological pressure.
I got discharged, my relatives happily accepted me, with orphan aid I can survive without work for now.
Of course, I don't intend to do it. After three years in a hospital I became a different creature. This is the last chance. This time I won't make a mistake. I want to do what happened to be my duty, so that I get relieved of it even a second earlier. Luckily, the hardest part - finance - solved itself. Empty, lifeless thoughts finally got realistic. There is a lot of reasons to be worried, but talent and money are paired. Even with my level of abilities, I can cover the holes in my talent with money. If fortune doesn't turn away from me, I'll succeed.
Well... When you aren't thinking about how to increase amount of money or happiness, things are going fine - it's life.



Next subchapter: 2\Self (L) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=963673&viewfull=1#post963673)

September 1st, 2012, 02:07 PM
Chapter 3 of HandS.(L) is the best.


as expected from nasu
Makina's actions were slightly hinted when she was at Origa. I dunno, thought something going on was obvious.

September 1st, 2012, 02:27 PM
Damn you, making me want to continue translating right now! (I read as I translate)

September 1st, 2012, 06:49 PM
Damn you, making me want to continue translating right now! (I read as I translate)

My strategy seems better than terra's.

I just want my second Volume ;_;

Sorry, I didn't know you read as you translated. Perhaps that's why you didn't get my previous spoiler post.

September 1st, 2012, 09:04 PM
Chapter 3 of HandS.(L) is the best.

Makina's actions were slightly hinted when she was at Origa. I dunno, thought something going on was obvious.

hmm, seems I was just too oblivious

September 1st, 2012, 09:18 PM
Perhaps that's why you didn't get my previous spoiler post.
Yeah, I didn't get it ;_;
I started not getting it even more when I did the last chapter (Shinya was kinda an asshole, even though badass in the way. Part of me tells me nee-chan needs more love, and other part of me tells me he's cool)

hmm, seems I was just too oblivious
Nah, seems I typed "he" where no gender is specified too much in HandS(R). What made me suspicious was the hand (Shinya shouldn't have had problems with hands, it's Makina who was pushed from the balcony), the pictures:


and the former confusions about the name.

September 1st, 2012, 10:52 PM
Shinya had shitty luck, that's all. To have someone as Makina as a sister simply doomed him.

She's got a nice ass in one of the pictures.

September 1st, 2012, 11:15 PM
She's got a nice ass in one of the pictures.
That's what I'm saying!

Well, in fact, I think he could've found some way to use her.

September 1st, 2012, 11:22 PM
Well, he could certainly have taken advantage before she started copying him. She was so vulnerable.

Scratch that, this would be a nice doujin.

September 2nd, 2012, 01:43 AM

DDD getting fanart? damn

DDD getting GOOD fanart? Damn nigga.

September 2nd, 2012, 01:10 PM
Added: ^ whozzat
A teensy update, the part that I've checked. (Just cause I might get too busy later)

September 2nd, 2012, 01:22 PM
2 characters from s vs s chapters, book 2

Iguruma Kazumi (Sinker) [left] , Kirisu Yaichirou (Slugger) [right]

September 2nd, 2012, 01:52 PM
2 characters from s vs s chapters, book 2

Iguruma Kazumi (Sinker) [left] , Kirisu Yaichirou (Slugger) [right]
What this guy said.

Thanks for the blog visit.

September 2nd, 2012, 02:34 PM
Oh it's your blog! Thanks a lot for all the news, I always check your blog at least once /day :D

September 3rd, 2012, 07:13 AM
Okay then guys, I'm sorry but I probably will have to roleplay Makina IRL now: after skipping one grade for low attendance, now after getting back I shall try to finish all subjects in blitz (and at the same time not get fired from work). So I probably won't have any time to spare (at all), but I'll keep doing t/l on weekends. Thanks!

September 3rd, 2012, 07:51 AM
Sure enhance, good luck in finishing your IRL problems, see you this weekend!

September 3rd, 2012, 12:59 PM
Okay then guys, I'm sorry but I probably will have to roleplay Makina IRL

Are you going to kill your parents and ruin your brother's life?

Anyway, do your best.

September 3rd, 2012, 03:40 PM
hopes things work out for you! thanks for continuing to translate this. ^^

September 5th, 2012, 06:05 PM
Wait, does this mean I'll be able to catch up on QCing after before the end of the year? 8D

September 9th, 2012, 11:46 AM
Wait, does this mean I'll be able to catch up on QCing after before the end of the year? 8D
Let's race! :3

Also, updated. Second chapter of HandS(L) finished. Wasn't able to work much this weekend, but good news - I was allowed to use this text for passing English in university (saves me bother).

Next update - next weekend, probably, or earlier.

some nice action scenes this time!

Damn, enjoyed translating it to the fullest, so you guys have fun reading!

September 9th, 2012, 10:53 PM
Love this chapter. Simply amazing. Finally a good thing after a crappy morning

few things I want to point out though

I flew into the room, shut the door and screamed. I feel like doing it. I feel like letting all that anger out on that meaningless cleanliness, mess it all up. But my self-esteem didn't let me do it. Stop. Stop. Stop. No need to look for compensation. I didn't lose anything. No, nothing, I will only trip on my own foot and roll down. Now it's best to just calm down. But I can't seem to do it. Looks like I got asthma now. My head started aching, I almost fell from dizziness, when - click - the closed door opened.
-- Sister...
Makina enters. I retreat to bed. Makina stands motionless in the messed up room.
-- W... What do you want? Don't enter others' rooms without permission.

isn't this Makina speaking to Shinya? Shouldn't it be Brother?

And then Makina...
-- But Tifuji-kun called me himself. He says, Shinya is boring. He's not even special anymore. He said, if he is to choose between me and him, I'm more interesting.
...awkwardly chuckled, like she's pitying me.
-- Kh-h!..

and Tifuji is a weird name, either it's supposed to be Chifuji (which is also weird actually) or the original translator mistranslated the kanji

September 9th, 2012, 11:14 PM
isn't this Makina speaking to Shinya? Shouldn't it be Brother?

It says 姉貴.

and Tifuji is a weird name, either it's supposed to be Chifuji (which is also weird actually) or the original translator mistranslated the kanji

It's Saitou. :V

September 9th, 2012, 11:18 PM
oh, so that's Shinya reacting after Makina enters his room

and lol kanji mistake

September 9th, 2012, 11:24 PM
More like a didn't-see-the-furigana mistake.


September 9th, 2012, 11:50 PM

on-yomi / kun-yomi / nanori
斉 - Sei, Sai / Soro(u), Hito(shii), Hito(shiku), Ataru, Hayai / Tada, Nari, Hito, Hitoshi
藤 - Tou, Dou / Fuji / Zou, To, Fujyu

it can't be chi-fuji anyway with that kanji ._.

September 10th, 2012, 12:08 AM
It could if whoever translated it into Russian took a huge backward leap in logic into its Chinese roots (http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E6%96%89_(%E6%98%A5%E7%A7%8B)). But at that point, it's not Japanese; it's just some wonky mess of language mix-up.


September 10th, 2012, 03:13 AM
Thanks guys, fixed this one.
Also, guys, if anyone could check the part:

... please, I'm begging you, leave me aloooone!..
-- Kh!..
I throw away. To the side of the door, which the uncalled guest came in through, I throw Makina's pawn. [x] Bang - sound of hitting against the closed door, slap - sound of falling down on the butt.
-- Shinya! What are you...

In Russian, it says "Makina's pawn", it has no alternate meanings, but wasn't that kinda out of blue? What was it that Shinya really threw at mother?

I tried "rolling back" to Japanese and looking for alternate meanings, but it seems that "pawn" is simply a romanization of English "pawn".

September 10th, 2012, 03:42 AM
He didn't throw anything at her. The word that you got pawn from is 手下, referring to how hard their mother was trying to please Makina, and in doing so, seemed like she was her daughter's underling. The verb used is 突き飛ばす, which is less like "throw" and more like to shove away.

So he pushed his mom down.

September 10th, 2012, 04:16 AM
He didn't throw anything at her. The word that you got pawn from is 手下, referring to how hard their mother was trying to please Makina, and in doing so, seemed like she was her daughter's underling. The verb used is 突き飛ばす, which is less like "throw" and more like to shove away.

So he pushed his mom down.
Thanks a lot, fixed.

I push away. To the side of the door, which the uncalled guest came in through, I push this Makina's pawn.

September 12th, 2012, 02:06 PM
Apparently Ice Flower (Freesia) is a possessed level..or is it the disease name?..

What the fuck Nasu.

Edit: it's the disease name, was looking at the wrong order.

September 13th, 2012, 04:33 AM
<- the Japanese to Russian translator
What you're doing here is cool :D Sorry about Chifuji, must've been tired back then.
If there's something I can help you with, feel free to ask. PM or IRC or something

September 13th, 2012, 04:59 AM
wow, thanks to you too, mate! How's the Japanese to Russian translating progress going?

September 13th, 2012, 05:07 AM
Yeah, good job translating it so far!

It's rare to see a JP-RU translator (usually it's JP-EN and then, one day, EN-RU). Things are messed up nowadays.~

September 13th, 2012, 05:14 AM
etherlite: Fomalhaut's complete and S.vs.S is at page 237 right now.
Enhance: Never thought a day would come I'd see somebody do JA-RU-EN, much less that the first "-" would be yours truly w Sure is a mess.

September 13th, 2012, 05:25 AM
Never thought a day would come I'd see somebody do JA-RU-EN, much less that the first "-" would be yours truly w Sure is a mess.
So true~ But at least I found somewhere I can be of use in Japanese material translation.
Which was, to say... pretty unexpected...

September 13th, 2012, 05:45 AM
etherlite: Fomalhaut's complete and S.vs.S is at page 237 right now.
Enhance: Never thought a day would come I'd see somebody do JA-RU-EN, much less that the first "-" would be yours truly w Sure is a mess.

eh? You guys finished fomalhaut first? Hope we all can see the english version soon! No pressure to enhance though :)

September 13th, 2012, 06:23 AM
eh? You guys finished fomalhaut first? Hope we all can see the english version soon! No pressure to enhance though :)
It's cool, I already said I work weekends :3

September 13th, 2012, 06:39 AM
With your progress, we might be able to catch up to the Russian translation before the end of the year!

September 13th, 2012, 07:12 AM
That's if I keep it up :3

September 13th, 2012, 08:16 AM
That's if I keep it up :3

please do! >.<

September 13th, 2012, 05:41 PM
Update? Where? I do not seem to see it.

September 13th, 2012, 07:14 PM
Update? Where? I do not seem to see it.
I said "weekends", I didn't say "thursdays" :V
Latest update was this one (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=928407&viewfull=1#post928407).

September 13th, 2012, 08:57 PM
Yeah, that's what I thought.

Thank you kindly.

September 14th, 2012, 06:10 AM
P.S. I could be more precise in translation if I had textual (not the scanned images) representation of Japanese original, but I guess it doesn't exist.

I found it in plaintext and converted it from Shift-JIS to UTF-8 for you. Just HandS was all that was included, though:


September 14th, 2012, 07:42 AM
I found it in plaintext and converted it from Shift-JIS to UTF-8 for you. Just HandS was all that was included, though:


Wow, man, many thanks! I can now QC/check confusing parts by myself too, that helps a lot! Expect some good job tomorrow.

September 26th, 2012, 05:39 PM
more than 3 weeks without update :(

September 26th, 2012, 06:53 PM
Sorry for that. I have a part of it translated, this saturday I'll finish it. Had some problems with health/work/uni.

September 26th, 2012, 10:09 PM
People had to wait years to even read anything past the side story.

Don't mind them.

September 26th, 2012, 11:36 PM
It's alright, I just want to know what happened while hoping you're not dropping it :)

September 29th, 2012, 11:43 AM
2\ Self(L)

Maybe it's not okay to say that about yourself...
But well, it was a lousy rehabilitation in society.


-- That's it. From today on, Ishizue Arika is discharged from this clinic. Now a specially assigned inspector would keep a watch on him and register his life. Of course, as Ishizue Arika was recognized latent, he is now accounted as A-syndrome carrier and will get treated accordingly. In case he shows any signs of being unprepared to casual life, inspector is to act immediately. Any questions?
Medical expert Touma Mato, wearing a strict black suit, pressures assigned patient with a sharp look.
2004, August. In the examination room of Oruga clinic - probably for the last time - I merrily deal with the documents.
-- Shozai. Any questions?
-- No more questions, inspector, sir!
"Sir!" - I salute Mato-san. My authority knits her eyebrows, not understanding the joke.
Well, what to say. If you ask how bad it is, "she's going to keep me on a tight leash even after I'm discharged, help".
-- Ohh... What a time did you choose to get discharged of here, all clean and innocent. Why can't your kin ever choose the right time?
-- It was you who decided on my discharge time, don't blame everything on me.
Let me say this now, I didn't yet commit any crimes... Well, I forget everything that's happening during the day, so I'm not that sure, but I don't think I had any screw-ups anyway. But Mato-san treats all people as criminals. Parents' sins are children's sins... or more like, sister's sins are brother's sins.
-- I'm sorry, but did you just say "your kin"?
-- I did. Seriously, Shozai. Your discharge, you know, had to be more loud or something. But last evening they gave us a changed order. Discharge is decided on, do it by any means, but quietly, so that people don't really pay attention to it. Do you know what is this about?
Mato-san spins a ball pen, not looking in my eyes. Not for entertainment. Surely, it's...
-- Not a slightest clue. But yeah, we might look like criminals.
-- You don't look like criminals, you are criminals.
Crack. She gets angry and pen breaks. Third one by now. Touma-san doesn't hold herself back even before the inventory.
-- That's rough... But that's not about me, right? I can get discharged, but it's to be quiet... Ahh, did the previous one do something?
-- Bingo. It's nice to talk you during the day. Hey you, bring a pen. A hard one, if possible.
Nurse, quietly breathing in the room, shuddered, and gave Touma her own pen. Will it be the fourth?.. Mato-san could maybe smoke to calm down. Even though I never saw her smoking.
-- By the way, Shozai. Do you remember Hisaori, that got discharged half a year ago?
-- I don't remember the face, but I remember what she was like. Should I show you my Hisaori page?
-- It's okay, I already got a general picture about her this morning. You are not connected to Hisaori Makina, that's for sure and confirmed... Oh. She did count you in, and you yourself don't have anything to do with it, but...
Vrrr, vrrr, spins the grinder -- I mean, the pen. They should've given her a fountain pen, so ultimately less damage would be done in the end.
-- In the end, society treats everyone discharged from here as the same. She screws up - and you get hit by it too. When you go outside, they'll be looking at you a bit cold - you'll need to be audacious to survive. Hisaori's case can be closed any day, even tomorrow.
-- ...
Hisaori obviously got into some mess. Precisely a year ago I got acquainted with Hisaori Makina, who called herself Hisaori Shinya. We only met during daytime, I don't remember her, but I have a lot of notes about her. I have problems with my left hand, and she has problems with her right - and somehow we got along. My notes keep saying: "Hisaori. Weird one." Why did they, I understood half a year before her discharge - Dr. Dolittle told me Hisaori Makina can't do anything herself, so she lived copying her younger brother, Hisaori Shinya. Of course she'd appear as weird. She's a girl, but she talks and acts completely like a guy.
-- So, what now? And how's Hisaori? Mato-san, your glance is kinda scary.
-- That's because I'm tired. I didn't sleep the whole night because of Hisaori. And protocols all seem to point on false accusation. After I send you off, I'll go argue with jurisdictional inspector assistant. I don't feel like wiping off possessed, but I don't feel like wiping off powerless relatives even more... Seriously, examinations here last couple years are terrible. More and more cases each year, and it's only the budget that doesn't catch up with time. Examinations of corpses and patients all end up as a single sheet of paper. For how long have I been saying, invest more finances in it...
I silently listen to Mato-san's rants. She's unrivaled, but that's why she doesn't have allies either.
-- But anyway, Shozai, here's what I want to say...
-- Yes-yes? What is it, inspector Touma, sir?
-- Even unintentionally, don't spoil my name. If I, for example, become an assigned inspector for Hisaori Makina.
That goes without saying. Hisaori is already a lost cause.
-- Roger that. I'll sincerely live an adult life in a dark corner of society.
-- That's good. Well, you have an hour till discharge. What are you going to do here, rest a bit?
-- Ehh... no, I wanted to say goodbye to doc, so I'll go. Will you come too, Mato-san?
-- I won't. I'm not going to waste time. Go alone. Ah right, Shozai, are you still looking for a prosthesis?
I've just stood up when she stopped me. With a rare for Mato-san voice, hiding reluctance.
-- I am, why?
-- Well... just that, if you really need one, I can introduce you to one perspective. But to be honest, I don't like it... You see, they really want to meet you.
She gives a soulful, melancholic sigh. More than the topic about prosthesis, I was surprised by how this unsinkable person can go into blues.


-- Do you understand, Arika-kun? You need not self-confidence, you need someone who needs you. Use your whole life, but find that person. That's the reason you should live.
-- ...
The confessional that I came to to say goodbyes. Dr. Dolittle, as usual, speaks like a romanticist.
-- Hm... What's wrong, Arika-kun? What's with that deadly pale face, saying "When are they finally going to discharge me?..."
-- Nothing like that, doc. You said those parting words pretty well.
But it appears I can't accept a value for myself. But nevertheless, going forward is very human-like. It's easier, after all.
-- Ooh. Hisaori-san, I recall, so readily agreed. Arika-kun, did those six months not spoil your character by any chance?
-- I got your idea, doc, but that's all. But why did you mention Hisaori? Did she come here before leaving too?
-- Yeah. Just like you, she came for an advice on what to do after discharge.
-- Just like me, eh... It's not like her to think about outside world, is it? Say, doc, Hisaori needs to copy someone, right? What was she like when she came here?
-- That, I can't tell you. Patient's privacy.
Dr. Dolittle smiled. Even though he's such a holy saint and a friend to every patient, Oruga clinic is what brought him up. Patient's health is main priority. By any means achieved, if patient is in normal state - those scary people-doctors can ignore everything else.
-- Fine. It's not going to matter to me the slightest. It's time for me to go now, doc. Thanks for bearing with me this whole year.
Mainly visiting me to kill time. Whether we'll meet again is up to my fate and Mato-san's mood.
-- Same here. By the way, Arika-kun, did you say your goodbyes to doctor Mato yet?
-- I would gladly, but can't. I didn't say it yet, but my inspector is a scaring-spoiled-children-to-heart-attacks Tomato-chan.
Dolittle bursts. Looks like he liked that nickname.
-- Ahh, so much worries, right, Arika-kun?
-- I'm worried about your tact, doc. You should condole me, not laugh.
-- Oh, I do, I wholeheartedly do... But still, "Tomato-chan"... Did you ever say that to doctor Toma directly?
-- Ehh... Only once. By an accident.
A horrible memory. It was an evening. Sadly, the sun has already set. Thriller... horror...
-- Wow. Please, tell me about it. I'll note for myself if doctor Toma has a sense of humor.
-- Alright, why not. Well, I blurted out "Tomato-chan", she suddenly got all serious, jumped up from her chair, saying 'sit here', and left. Then she comes back from kitchen with a real tomato. And right before my face - splash - crushes it, and says: "Shozai. I get it you want the same to happen with you?" How do you like it?.. No, she's too scary to joke with!
Doc burst out laughing. It was worth it. Seeing Dolittle laugh, holding his stomach, is a rare sight on level of Mato in blues mode.
-- Damn, really! Arika-kun, you're like a hero!
-- Doing my best. I wish I could forget it through my amnesia.
Ishizue Arika is not brave, he just lost the ability to feel "threat".
Animals that can't perceive stop-signals, like... those, flying to the fire. Like a small child playing on a highway.
-- Well, that saying, bye. Lead those lost lambs, shepherd.
-- Okay, - Dr. Dolittle gently smiled. Let's hope we won't see each other again. - By the way, Arika-kun, did you know? Doctor Toma, say what you want, can't bear tomatoes. She says she doesn't even want to touch them.
Hmm... Doesn't hate, just doesn't bear them - that's important.
Discharge went fast, and after one and a half year I come back to my birthnest - to Shikura town, on Shikura hill, to Ishizue residence. Mato-san is the one driving, car - red "Roadstar". Incredible mentality - hardly would you imagine a patient discharged from a clinic getting picked up by a cabriolet.
By the way, clinic's hospital charge was lower than I thought. "Weird", I say to Mato-san.
-- That includes your one and half a year's salary. I told you that your help wasn't voluntary.
I'm even uncomfortable a bit... That's why I, while keeping Mato-san at some distance, still entrust myself to her.
-- And also, Ishizue residence has a buyer. Sell it next month to pay clinical charges, count on it.
She says like that, while driving. Looks like she has already dealt with the inheritance tax and all problems like that. Without asking me.
-- Ehh, and when the house is bought, I'll live in a tent?
-- Of course no. It's made so that you can move to dorm at any time. If you want, you can do it right now. Yeah, I recommend it. Your kin is easier to watch if we gather you together.
Incredibly uncomfortable. That's why I, though wishing to flee from Evil Tomato, still put up with it.
-- Call me once in four days. If you don't, I'll think you're either dead or on the run.
Releasing me near "Ishizue" sign, saying "Well, bye", the "Roadstar" does a drifted turn and disappears.


The community dorms for A-syndrome carriers was on Shikura town's north, on exact opposite side of Shikura hill relatively to the train station. Building of social help and welfare number 13. Sickingly easy to remember. After walking through concrete hallway, past the curtained guard booth, I go to a free room on fourth floor. Hurriedly examining Ishizue Arika's room, feeling slight alert about neighbor's barking dog, I got sad thinking about how I'll have to live here in a month.
-- ?
In third floor's hallway some loud people were having fun. The blue uniforms and hats suited them well, and they were, as they call them, cops. At the moment, diligently doing a search.
Getting involved is a pain, but I'd have to live here in a month. How can I not measure the risk? Ah, there, through a bunch of policemen, a man in a Hawaiian T-shirt came my way. This weirdo didn't look like a policeman at all.
-- Hi. Do you live here?
Hawaiian T-shirt guy - if you look closer, wearing make-up - gazed at me.
-- Hello? I'm getting in next month. Is it like that here everyday?
-- No, it's not, it's the first time I see something like that. Law enforcers checking through Arika-chan's room.
It was my turn to gaze at him this time. Hawaiian T-shirt guy is surprised again.
-- Hey... Aren't you by chance Arika-chan's brother? How weird. Different face, but you two seem very much alike.
-- I have a younger sister, but I doubt you mean her. By the way, my name is also "Arika". Ishizue Arika. Why, the guy whose room is being searched, does he have the same name?
-- Wow, your name's completely same?!
Surprised Hawaiian T-shirt guy still examined me and dived into thoughts. Then he said:
-- Hm-hm... So you're the real one?
-- What? Wow, you're pretty sharp.
-- Ah! Don't flatter me, you silly. I thought Arika-chan is weird too. Girl, but talks like a boy. And there I thought something's behind it. And it appears Arika-chan is a boy after all! Maybe I'm not the one to talk, but girls should act like girls, right?
-- Yeah. And guys should act like guys.
-- Yeah-yeah. Hmm... But who's the previous Arika-chan? I'm worried about her too. Though she's not my type.
-- Who knows. If I'm the real one, then she's someone that is not Ishizue Arika.
Finishing Hawaiian T-shirt guy's story: half a year ago a woman came here, calling herself my name, got in a mess and yesterday, finally, disappeared. Arika living here half a year ago had, yes, one hand and she was completely like me except for the face.
-- Weird though. An alias would have gotten discovered right away.
-- Nope, it wouldn't. There are no signs on doors, and after all, are you one of those that dig through new ones' family registers?
Who are "those"?..
-- How about mail? Or guard?
-- Silly you. It's all unformal. My name's Niijima, but most letters come to me by name "Flowerie". An alias is an alias. And the landlord gathers all the bills from the residents and pays himself.
So it's usual here to use aliases? And a guard here is wacky just like Niijima-chan, never meddling in residents' business. Realtors and owners nowadays are rarely familiar enough with residents. And an alias isn't in a way of being friends with neighbors, yeah.
-- But sometimes there is something still left in notes. Like driver's license or passbook...
Though, if I recall correctly, they're taking away driver's license when you're discharged. And passbooks, well, you don't usually show them to others.
-- Can I have you for a second? Hey, you, Ishizue Arika?
-- Oh crap...
Damn! Questioned by an investigator on the discharge day! It was stupid of me to fool around with Niijima-chan. The policeman in hallway heard my name and gave me out to investigators. What does that mean, Mato-san, cops are doing their job properly!
-- Yes, I'm Ishizue Arika. Going to live here starting next month. I'll tell you from the start, I wasn't the one living in that room over there, so yeah.
I don't want to go to the station "for further investigation", so I say everything as it is. But the police didn't stay idle either. It appears they already found out both that I wasn't in Shikura until today and that in the room under question was someone using my name as an alias.
-- Uhh... Yeah, can I ask you a question too?.. The one living under my name, who was that?
-- A girl called Hisaori Makina, same age as you. But you know what? That guy said you're same with her, but the only thing you have in common is that you're both one-handed. Oh, sorry, no hard feelings.
-- No hard feelings, I'm really one-handed, after all. By the way, ehh, Hisaori Makina? What was she doing under my name?
Investigator appears to be a nice guy, so I decide to find out more about it.
-- Ah-h. Blackmail, swindling... What else - some minor stuff about illegal trades. Just twenty years old, but already performed such violent beatings, I guess. Ah, and also...
I wonder why "I guess", but I'm even more interested on what's to follow.
-- And what also?
I ask a question appropriate for an innocent victim whose name was used.
The young investigator sighed out something like "already talking, guess I'll tell" and...
-- I guess it's the best one. Suspicion of murder of Hisaori Shinya.
... told me about an absolutely unrelated to me, Ishizue Arika, day ago finished case.


Next subchapter: 3\ Self(R) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1045476&viewfull=1#post1045476)

September 29th, 2012, 02:22 PM
everyone dies

Keep going.

September 29th, 2012, 02:23 PM
everyone dies

I'm not dead yet

September 29th, 2012, 02:39 PM

Not being exactly serious, btw.

September 29th, 2012, 02:43 PM
Yay! Thanks for the update, Enhance! Keep them flowing! :D

September 29th, 2012, 03:40 PM
Not being exactly serious, btw.
Me neither. :3

Yay! Thanks for the update, Enhance! Keep them flowing!
Sure! I'll try to make another one today. (Larger than that.)

October 2nd, 2012, 03:44 PM
So will you continue with formalhunt?

Asking because I don't know whether CanonRap is interested on it.

It's mostly fights, maybe that could be an incentive for you.

October 4th, 2012, 05:00 AM
I'm going to continue through everything that's translated to Russian.
And then wait for them to translate more.

October 21st, 2012, 04:42 PM
D; Galaxy Strongest Otaku; Okumaneko Mokumoku; Hard Victory. Super powerful enemy! Super invincible! Won with extreme difficulty.

Haha, awesome, NEET life. The second appendix has a lot of stuff.

October 21st, 2012, 07:38 PM
Enhaaaaaance, that's your cue.

October 21st, 2012, 10:15 PM
Shh, me posting is a subtle way of bumping this thread.

It's not subtle anymore though.

October 22nd, 2012, 07:57 AM

I'm still alive!

Got to the part where I understand Arika from Hands(R)...

Damn you, Nasu, damn you.

October 22nd, 2012, 10:52 AM
Yey! Updated! (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=963673&viewfull=1#post963673)
I'm back in track!

October 22nd, 2012, 12:12 PM

I am a magus.

October 22nd, 2012, 12:34 PM
When I point out Enhance hasn't updated in a while, bahamut zero harasses me. Crown or etherlite do the same, applause all around. I see how it is.

October 22nd, 2012, 01:14 PM
Don't be so sad, terraa, I've never accepted any of the posts here offensively.

Also, (exclusively for you~) I'll exercise some manliness, harden my testicles and put another one today/tomorrow, whichever it is for you.

I'm always happy like an elephant when seeing people actually wait for it/care about the thread in any slightest way.

P.S. Actually Crown bumping and my update time are more of a coincidence,
though it did have some effect :3

October 22nd, 2012, 01:57 PM
When I point out Enhance hasn't updated in a while, bahamut zero harasses me. Crown or etherlite do the same, applause all around. I see how it is.

Deal with it.

October 22nd, 2012, 03:15 PM
Don't be so sad, terraa, I've never accepted any of the posts here offensively.

Also, (exclusively for you~) I'll exercise some manliness, harden my testicles and put another one today/tomorrow, whichever it is for you.

I'm always happy like an elephant when seeing people actually wait for it/care about the thread in any slightest way.

P.S. Actually Crown bumping and my update time are more of a coincidence,
though it did have some effect :3

I was just joking, I figured most people weren't serious, but on that same topic.

No problems. It's replies like that that keep me motivated. :neco_arc:

It was actually a forced break (going to a pc-less internet-less village), I'm planning on doing updates on daily basis.
I'm pretty sure it was you who brought up daily updates first, I was just surprised your first update wasn't months after the first post like a certain Fate/Strange Fake translation I could think of.
Just update whenever you want.

Deal with it.
No, don't wanna. Imma whine as much as I want.

October 22nd, 2012, 04:36 PM
Well, I said I was planning to do so (and I was first couple days), and you caught on to the word, but that could only be possible during summer.

I'm certainly hoping that the last break was the longest break, I'm certainly going to (not 'planning' this time) do at least weekly updates. Globally it depends on my state of affairs, but weekly should be doable.

October 22nd, 2012, 04:39 PM
I look forward to ragging on you the moment you don't actually update every week. *sharpens throwing knives*

October 22nd, 2012, 04:52 PM
I wonder if a week is enough to build a ninja-proof shelter

October 22nd, 2012, 06:15 PM
it won't be enough, terra will experiment with near-death experience in order to obtain chokushi no magan. your shelter will be torn off in a blink

well, that is if he succeed, if not he'll die anyway

oh, and thanks for the update. Just woke up so I won't be able to understand nasu's mindfuckery with half booted brain though

October 27th, 2012, 01:56 AM
Oh man, Kanata is ridiculous.

And those D Ward Agonists are more ridiculous with those odd abilities. I like it.

November 6th, 2012, 04:38 PM
Bleached with an afternoon sun waiting room reminds of a church.

I think there's something off about this sentence. HandS.(R).

November 7th, 2012, 12:05 PM
I think there's something off about this sentence. HandS.(R).
You're right... Any suggestions of what it could be?

It says that the waiting room, bleached(whitened) with an afternoon sun, reminds of(resembles) a church (inside of a church)

November 7th, 2012, 02:31 PM
You've got the idea right; the phrasing just needs some work. Like:

Bleached by an afternoon sun, the waiting room becomes the very picture of a church.

November 26th, 2012, 02:33 AM
wait, I think i read it wrong, well, will check it later, was it Kimei?...

November 26th, 2012, 07:54 AM
By the way, what would you know, I'm working on an update (...finally. Done with a task at work so I got some time.)

November 26th, 2012, 10:53 AM
Hey, I was planning on making a post once a week for every update missed but I decided to play nice.

November 26th, 2012, 01:40 PM
Anyone with a better sight can confirm whether is "Kinui?"

If so, seems the Doc has some past.

By the way, what would you know, I'm working on an update (...finally. Done with a task at work so I got some time.)
Nice, everything is tumbling down for Makina now.

November 26th, 2012, 01:51 PM
Yes, きぬい is Kinui.

November 26th, 2012, 01:53 PM
So says the furigana, kinui

November 26th, 2012, 02:01 PM
That's interesting. We only hear of that hospital years before Makina or Arika are admitted into Origa.

Perhaps it's unrelated but a man can dream to see more of Doctor Roman in the future.

Yes, きぬい is Kinui.

So says the furigana, kinui

I see. I had my doubts yesterday due to weariness. Thanks.

November 26th, 2012, 03:50 PM
Actually, yeah, I seen a discussion on that on a wapanese board. But in the same discussion people started talking about Ouka. So it was all pure theorycrafting.

November 26th, 2012, 04:02 PM
Well, what did they say about Ouka?

Man, she did not last much against Kanata, did she?

December 5th, 2012, 02:13 AM
Damn you Cruor, you left me hanging.

December 5th, 2012, 02:24 AM
I like, wrote out a supah long comment on my laptop, left to school with it. Logged in again and posted the comment only for it to take ages to post because wifi is shit and it appears to never have been posted. So I'll post whatever I remember.

It was just a wacky theory connecting Roman, Kinui hospital, Auka, and Hinomori.

And an A patient lasting more then 3 seconds with Kanata is supposedly quite the feat because she was listing people who she took more then 3 seconds to beat.

But I'd like to mention that she seems to have started from Ward D when the chaos erupted or something. So Auka being 'the strongest' could possibly mean that he/she was the final person she fought or 'the final boss' to her or something. Of course, I'd totally like to imagine Auka as Kojirou's hidden disciple sent to the future.

December 5th, 2012, 02:33 AM
I like, wrote out a supah long comment on my laptop, left to school with it. Logged in again and posted the comment only for it to take ages to post because wifi is shit and it appears to never have been posted. So I'll post whatever I remember.

It was just a wacky theory connecting Roman, Kinui hospital, Auka, and Hinomori.

And an A patient lasting more then 3 seconds with Kanata is supposedly quite the feat because she was listing people who she took more then 3 seconds to beat.
Would have been interesting.

I know about Ouka, that's why I was so intrigued. Yielding a japanese and sword and lasted only three seconds ha, I don't even know if that last line of Kanata saying that Ouka is one of the most troublesome at Origa was sarcasm or not. It's Ouka btw.

Ah fucking edits man

But I'd like to mention that she seems to have started from Ward D when the chaos erupted or something. So Auka being 'the strongest' could possibly mean that he/she was the final person she fought or 'the final boss' to her or something. Of course, I'd totally like to imagine Auka as Kojirou's hidden disciple sent to the future.
Oh..that'd make sense, unless Kanata likes to mock people that much. First one was Yamada Beta..Ouka as the boss..sounds nice. And then there's Origa Marine that is the only E level although is dead goddamnit.

December 5th, 2012, 02:56 AM
Would have been interesting.

I know about Ouka, that's why I was so intrigued. Yielding a japanese and sword and lasted only three seconds ha, I don't even know if that last line of Kanata saying that Ouka is one of the most troublesome at Origa was sarcasm or not. It's Ouka btw.

Ah fucking edits man
That's actually what I used to say before I believe I seen Evo using Auka and just stuck with that as respect (actually, tbh I used to just put Ouka/Auka before going that takes way too long to type).

Oh..that'd make sense, unless Kanata likes to mock people that much. First one was Yamato Beta..Ouka as the boss..sounds nice. And then there's Origa Marine that is the only E level although is dead goddamnit.
Yeah, that's why I said its mainly my thoughts on why it was like that. But yeah, she kinda is pretty mocking. If you take her comments towards Freesia and how Yamanashi is now loliphobic.

December 5th, 2012, 03:26 AM
That's actually what I used to say before I believe I seen Evo using Auka and just stuck with that as respect (actually, tbh I used to just put Ouka/Auka before going that takes way too long to type).


I used to call her Auka too.

Yeah, that's why I said its mainly my thoughts on why it was like that. But yeah, she kinda is pretty mocking. If you take her comments towards Freesia and how Yamanashi is now loliphobic.
Man, Tomori used to love little girls and now surrenders to one ;_; it's kinda sad.

Know which Agonist needed more screentime? Ruzeru, she seemed pretty moe.

Well, this was a pleasant time.

December 13th, 2012, 02:37 PM
3\ Self(R)


And so the honeymoon I lived in was suddenly spoiled.
-- Today, at around six o'clock, in the industrial area of Nozu in Shikura city, in a residential array, a body of a young man was found, identified as Hisaori Shinya, nineteen years old, living in the said place. By the words of witnesses and Hisaori's notes, accused with his death is Hisaori Makina, being seen there at the time of....
Mood, raised by the fight before, crumbles to dust.
-- What the hell!
Irresponsible newsman keeps talking.
Hisaori Shinya was pierced with a sharp object in an abandoned Hisaori house, and now all the suspicion falls on his older sister, Hisaori Makina. It is incomprehensible, to the point of losing consciousness. Makina kills Shinya? How, and why?
-- Why is it me who killed him?
But all fits. I really came to industrial are of Noju a couple of hours ago. When I came into old Hisaori house, it was like a disposed shell. Means that Shinya was killed after I left. Who framed me is unknown.
The only obvious thing is that since I really was in that room, I'm screwed. Fingerprints, hair, witnesses. Evidences of me being there can't be hidden.
-- By a strange coincidence, everything happened in the same room number 303, where three years ago died Hisaori Shinya's parents. The style of the murder is the same - Hisaori Shinya was killed with a cutting weapon. What could lead to repeat of the trategy? We believe we see a connection to A-syndrome...
They're reading Hisaori Shinya's dossier now. The case that took place three years ago. Accidental death of parents. Thrown from a balcony older sister, further recognized as A-syndrome carrier.
Looks like that's the main part in this show. Now they read dossier of Hisaori Makina, discharged from a quarantine clinic half a year ago. Such an ungrateful newsman. Pleasing me with entertainment before, now he started talking too much.
-- Is he stupid? She killed Hisaori Shinya because she was mad about him publicizing her state? Those are just rumors. I'm at loss of words. She didn't... oh well, I'm bored of Ishizue Arika's skin anyway. I did not see Shinya all these three years, I'm not mad at him at all.
Yes, there is no reason to.
Just as there is no reason to get lynched by some minors that I saw for the first time in my life. And since I was Ishizue Arika, you had no reason to bully Makina either. And anyway, you are all thousand years too early to act out a revenge on me.
-- Fine. They don't understand because there's not enough.
Enough thinking about that. It's not clear what happened and how, but Ishizue Arika, whom I was until now, is no longer good. Events that will stay in memory are fine, but when you get in trouble, police will come right away. Residents of that area might recognize me as Ishizue Arika, but I'm Hisaori Makina in all my papers, and I can't get away from that. You don't even have to search for anything where I live. And then, suspiciously acting me, calling myself Ishizue Arika, and six times six liters of blood I unfortunately spilled half an hour ago, come together.
-- Unbelievable! What is this, why!..
I put on my garment. I no longer need my bank book. Putting the cash that piled up in my pocket, grabbing that only one, nicely framed, baggage for me, as Hisaori Makina, I leave the room that I lived in for half a year.
-- Stupid Shinya... I could stay longer!
Just how much are those newsmen allowed to blabber? Found Hisaori Shinya's body - that's probably true, but stories about Makina are no more than author's guesses! If it was an official viewpoint, my apartment would be filled with cops by now. But there are none, meaning that police examines Hisaori Shinya's body in no hurry... Sometime they'll finally remember Hisaori Makina, but be it good or bad, first ones to make such a guess were the rumors.
-- What to do, what to do, what to do!..
Slowing my breathing, I leave the area.
I clearly judge my situation and I'm not afraid to be thought a brother killer. It's obviously a false accusation, and even if they made it as if I were the one that killed him, I will at most be brought back to clinic. Not much to worry about. That's why...
-- Ahh... ahh, a-a-ahh!
I only have one reason to get so unsightly mad.
-- What to do, I need to find next model...
Yes. Ever since I stopped being Ishizue Arika, I can't do anything, nothing will work out well for me. Because I became Hisaori Makina again...


From the time I ran away from dorm to the morning - ten hours. I go crazy, simultaneously somehow concealing myself. After hiding baggage so I can come get it later, making a kind face, with a half-smile, so it doesn't stay in memory, I force myself through the sea of people and move to the outskirts of town, where fields are. By the time I hid in one of the small forests scattered there, date has probably changed.
It was a night of recalling memories.
How many years has it been since I last returned to my head like that?
Only unnecessary things come up there.
Like a ghost I saw when I was a kid.
Like father, coming to kitchen gravely pale.
Like sound with which he, stepping back a bit, fell on his back.
Like a face, showing pain from the bearable pain in the back of the head, changing into surprise after seeing the falling knife.
My right hand hurts... When I become Makina like that, I can't help but get surprised by myself from that time. Why did I go that far? No matter how much I was pressured, it wasn't that bad.
-- But yeah. Having no place in life - that's my case.
But really - maybe I did overdo it?..
My gears with no limiters, my gas pedal and no breaks. That car will once fail to make a turn, such a train will soon fall off the rails.
I made a mistake not now, but long ago.
I was a perfect child, or so they say.
But it wasn't praise that I wanted, and I wasn't able to physically feel what glory is.
To something so amorphous I would prefer a much clearer light heartful warmth.
Maybe I was a failed creature in that too. I went the wrong way... Body is a plane, and soul is a beast that moves using limbs.
That's why I ask you, God.
Give this tiny soul a small vessel.
-- Ouch. How weird...
My right hand hurts. Ah right, I'm still walking with a prosthesis.
When I was fighting those six, it was moving, but now it isn't. It doesn't bother me, but it's disgusting, I want to take it off, but I can't.
-- Eh?.. Ah, ah?..
Because I - Hisaori Makina - can't do even that much.
I pity myself so much I want to cry.
I need to start my spring faster. I will be found out right away like that. I started thinking about what I want the most right now.
-- Ah, well yeah... Because why everything happened like that.
Who was the reason to go to that industrial area of Nozu, where I didn't need anything? Who talked with the burning with revenge to sister Hisaori Shinya?
I still had the basement of Karyou Kaie.


-- Oh, hi. You're early today.
After walking down a dark stairway, I opened a door.
Basked in ash-like sunlight coming through the sea at the ceiling, me and my consciousness were completely clear. Coming here only in as other people before, now I was here as my real self, straightly watching what I shouldn't have seen.
Almost forgotten what I came here for... In the hour between me remembering this place and this moment, my heart, pressured by feeling of revenge and close to exploding with frustration on everything around it, was completely cleansed.
-- Hm? What's with you, you're all dirty. You can go get a bath.
Splashing water. Slowly moving ash sun. From the bed that has, despite being underground and underwater, a canopy attached, I hear a magnificent voice. A perfectly isolated space. Incredibly sterile space. In the middle of a room, without anything unsightly, as a matter of course...
-- Come on, hurry. You'll tell me an interesting story.
... was resting a terrifyingly beautiful creature.
I look at my hands. The fingers I was born with and the artificial fingers. The gifted right hand has the more slender, more elegant ones. But this creature's fingers I found even more wonderful. Without a form, great, unseen hands.
-- Karyou.... Kaie.
I was absolutely exhausted, in a full knockdown. Like a boxer that anyone would say that cannot bear to continue the fight.
-- Start with the door. Close it. Sit here. You didn't sleep since yesterday, right?
I start pitying myself. All these six months I was thinking with envy - how can he be so healthy in all aspects when he is in such a wounded body? How can he be so friendly? I'm the exact opposite. I have already forgotten how bad it feels to be myself.
-- Yeah... I did not. What about it?
Keep calm... I came here to get the story about Hisaori Shinya out of him. I got weaker, so I keep making wrong decisions. When my soul was cleansed, I had to run with all my might. And instead I'm like a moth flying into a fire, walking forward with unsteady feet.
-- Wow, you got it bad there. I thought you don't have any power at all by your breathing, but your heart is even more dried up. Sorry, let's talk later. No one is going to come here for now, so lie down on a sofa.
I feel like crying from all this belated pity. Why didn't I keep Ishizue Arika's face? I can't be here and if I'm caught I won't be able to return.
Stupid, I admit.
Hisaori Makina loves this creature, she's in awe from this dungeon. If only before I saw that ghost... if I was myself and came here...
-- No, I shouldn't... I just got into a silly situation and now I'm amazing myself. Can I use the bathroom?
Getting into a skin I once dropped. Cheap show. Can't see anything with a mask on my face.
-- ...
Silence. From my awful spectacle Karyou-san makes a face like he just ate a lemon.
-- Well, it's fine. Use it to your heart's content. And don't forget the weapon.
I go to the bathroom and wash my face. I put the fruit knife to my back pocket. As usually - as Ishizue Arika - I sit down on the floor before sofa.
-- Listen. About yesterday's, what happened to Hisaori Shinya.
I reluctantly start to talk... It doesn't go well. When I think and talk, I always come to a dead end. I started it pretty naturally, though.
-- Ahh. How unfortunate, he got killed by Hisaori Makina, -- said Karyou Kaie in a doubtless voice.
-- What... How do you... know that?
-- They said so in the morning news, just before you came. That police found Hisaori Shinya's body and main suspect is Hisaori Makina.
What the hell... bastards. They say that I killed him?
-- It's untrue. I didn't do this.
-- Indeed, Ishizue-san is completely unrelated.
-- Yes. That's why I want to ask you to be my witness, to say that I was here yesterday all day long. No, not even like that...
If he shelters me here, outside problems won't trouble me anymore...
-- Be a witness? I can, but the talk is somewhat off.
He giggled.
Black-haired creature, amused, looked at me:
-- Hisaori Shinya doesn't have anything at all to do with Ishizue Arika, right? Shinya was killed by his sister, Makina. Doesn't society know that already?
More than all things in the world I didn't want to hear that, more than all things in the world I wanted to say it in such voice:
-- I told you, I didn't kill hi-i-i-im!!
The hurriedly put on mask easily falls off.
I rarely make blunders. But... that, on the bed, didn't pay it any mind.
-- Then it's okay. Were you Arika, were you Makina, if you didn't kill him - then it's slander. Murders are not something new to investigators. If there are any material evidences, they would know for sure, if there are none - they won't stop until they dig up the truth. To say about cases like that - they stay in the memory, after all.
-- Eh... ah?..
Wow. So this creature knows everything.
My killed right hand jerked. Mouth unpleasantly formed a smile.
-- What?.. What did you just say?
-- I said that the slander on Hisaori Makina would be over soon. But yeah, it won't go well after that. If they catch you - they will bring you to the clinic, even if temporary. Even if a person is innocent, that clinic is not so generous as to give slack for once freed possessed.
Indeed, can't say anything to that. "Bark, bark!" - the black dog, previously sleeping under the sofa, woke up from my hostility. Ah, so that's what it reacted to.
-- Hm... Are you in a conspiracy with Shinya?
-- Yesterday, when he came here, he asked me to smother what will happen next. So that when everything is over, if I see you, I would explain it to you, in his place. It was his last wish, I should fulfill it, or falling asleep would be scary.
Defenseless. Even a toddler has more life reserve. I thought to stop his unpleasant blabber, but what can it do, except blabbering? We should talk a bit more.
-- When did you know I'm Hisaori Makina?
-- Your name I found out just now, the fact that you're not who you said you are - right away. I didn't know your name, so I had to call you "Ishizue-san".
-- I don't understand... Kaie, did you have photos of Ishizue, or something?
-- No. One and a half year ago - no, already two, probably... His case was flashed a lot in news, I knew about it informatively, so to say.
Two years ago... I was already living in clinic's isolation then.
-- And? How is that related to me being not who I said I am? I am one-handed, just like Ishizue-san. Ah, the difference between left and right hand?
-- I don't know if he has left or right hand missing. It's more about image. Ishizue Arika is the victim. You're too strong to ever think about you as the one who's being killed. And gender is not a matter either, you can change it as much as you want.
-- Wow. So you understood that I'm an impersonator not by the records, but by the image.
I'm too happy, and that's too sad. Yes... you can't get this creature with a fake smile.
-- Hmm, no more questions?.. You're too indifferent somehow. If so, I would want to fulfill Shinya-san's last wish.
-- Forget it. It's you and me talking right now. And then again, it's the last time. I'm asking and you're answering. When we can't do it anymore - curtains down.
-- Mmm... Okay, that's fine too. The outcome will be same anyway.
Karyou-san understands it perfectly that whether to obey me or to protest me or whatever - matters not in the end. The talk was long, but no one will come to this underground room. Maybe he'll have guests on this exact day, but in that case I'll make him win as much time as possible for me. It's revenge for ignoring me up until now. Feel my weird mood.
-- Okay, continuing then. What did Shinya tell you yesterday?
-- Nothing about you. Quoting: "I don't know anything about Makina, so I'll tell you about myself". The talk was about the past of Hisaori Makina, and he wanted me to tell you what I think about it.
And so I listen to the long story, told by Hisaori Shinya.
Hisaori Makina's story from Shinya's mouth, even from my viewpoint, was correct.
Childhood, when I wasn't noticing that I'm different from other kids.
Stairs that I misstepped on in fifth grade. How I was considered an autist from the middle school, and how I was reborn in second grade, imitating someone else's way of life.
How I appeared to be possessed. How I was imitating Shinya's habits, gestures, from the way of thinking to learning ability and physical development. How, even more standing out among homo sapiens with her manner of face articulation, Hisaori Makina, while being a creature dependent on the memories about others' images, could become even people whose faces were of a completely different structure, according to Shinya's deduction.
-- I underestimated Shinya, he did great. Everything's right.
-- Yup. That is your neoformation. Possibly the smallest among all other possessed ability, not obstructing the character development. But it's insignificant compared to you today. Your anomality is not related to possession. It's just a trifle thing in description of Hisaori Makina of today.
He's right. Imitation, pfft... If I want to, I can play anyone. I'm just a born actress. Something was broken in me before I got possessed.
-- So what? Shinya told you that, and what did you think? That I'm an ordinary possessed that just watched how her parents die and drove her brother crazy?
-- Yes. Your mind is abnormal, you're possessed, you used your parents to drive your brother crazy. That's all you need to know about Hisaori case. I don't think anyone's at fault. If you judge by the conclusion - you're right. Because your plan to expose Hisaori Shinya to ostracism succeeded.
-- You know what... Stop sucking up to me. I don't want to get disappointed in you. No matter how you look at it, I'm...
-- Sorry, but if you want a punishment, you need to ask a specialist. Good and evil are switching places nowadays, while I won't be able to move from here and I won't be able to punish anyone.
-- So from your viewpoint, Kaie, I'm not guilty?
-- I don't like the very fact you're possessed, but I don't really hate you.
Oh. So he doesn't care?
-- But you need to hear something. Let's say Hisaori Makina's actions were right. But you're absolutely wrong at one point. That's all Shinya-san's story gave me.
I get goosebumps. I'm standing still cool, twisting my mouth in a smile:
-- Where? What point am I wrong at? That I killed my parents? That because of that Shinya-san avenged them and almost destroyed me?
-- You're foolish, Hisaori-san. I'm talking about you getting a goal.
That I got a... goal?..
-- And, for Shinya-san's good name, I can add that he wasn't mad at you. Just like you felt nothing towards Shinya-san, Shinya-san thought only about himself when he came here. Don't be delusioned there, okay?
It becomes even less clear. Shinya wasn't mad at me and came here not for revenge?
-- You're lying. Shinya hated me.
-- That was before the clinic. Yes, three years ago Shinya-san hated you. Because your imitation was flawed. If you wanted to, you could be identical to him, but you went one step ahead of the original. You could become multiple times as good as Hisaori Shinya, but you intentionally froze at one point.
-- As a result, - he continued, - you, while being Hisaori Shinya for everyone, became artificial, ignoring the existence of the real Hisaori Shinya. You could as well have no evil intentions, but from the viewpoint of the imitated it is an act of absolute aggression. He, as Hisaori Shinya, had to resort to self-defense. He hated you only when he needed to defend himself. But during these three years Shinya-san understood that hate is fruitless. That he has to hit Hisaori Makina. He realized that to return the stolen himself, he'll have to fight you.
Kaie smiled:
-- Because you have different abilities.
What the hell... It's so unclear, that I'm getting angry even more. No, it's already time to finish him off.
-- Yep. It was good for him that he didn't jump at me, but in the end - what, that damned event? Well, for Shinya it was a good move, I guess. He actually got me cornered. So, who gave him the idea? You, Kaie?
Shinya came here for an advice. He relied on a demon in a basement, that, people say, kills possessed.
If so, I was cornered not by Shinya...
-- No. I already told you, I couldn't give him any advice. Whatever I told him, he kept on imitating you.
-- Huh? Imitated... me?
-- Yes, in your manner of imitating other people's actions. When half a year ago Hisaori Shinya got discharged from a psychiatric clinic, he took your experience into account and acted like you. Firstly he wanted to get into small crimes from the name of Hisaori Makina, and direct the retribution at you and himself, I think. But you were acting as Ishizue Arika after you got discharged, right? Shinya somehow found it out afterwards, he got surprised, but understood that it's how it was going to be. "As expected from Hisaori Makina", something among these lines. And then he amended his plans. He decided to destroy both your newly made Ishizue Arika's personality and human rights of Hisaori Makina at the same time. Because if either is alive, you will flee to their skin.
Yesterday's lynch. It was directed against Ishizue Arika after all. Because if I don't remember it, it means that the other Ishizue Arika did something wrong, and that was the case.
-- Ahh. Damn Shinya, did who knows what from Ishizue-san's name. But... Could that timid Shinya do something like that?
-- He could use his predecessors' experience. His goal only made trouble. If you don't think about your personal profit, anyone can spit poison.
That makes sense. Damn Shinya, he probably threw a lot of money into that. He had the parents' insurance, I think.
-- And the yesterday's news were strange. Isn't it too unnatural to give the name "Hisaori Makina" before police does? You can perceive it as the fact that the information was bought before Shinya-san's corpse was found. I don't think he had an accomplice, so Shinya-san could make a call himself, for example. Before his death he said that his killer is Hisaori Makina.
-- I can't believe it... Don't tell me that damn Shinya...
-- Exactly. When I asked him about how is he going to take his revenge out on Makina, he answered that if he can't win, he won't even fight, and that he'll have to kill his emotions. But I guess he didn't have the patience to kill emotions alone.
-- ...
What's that, suicide now? You can't say it so simply. It's harder to commit suicide than to defeat me!..
-- That's it about Shinya-san's case. He committed a suicide, only the criminal is left. But you know, Hisaori-san. He acted out his revenge wonderfully great, but he still has no motive. Hisaori Shinya died, but Hisaori Makina was the killer... Whatever you say, you're the one who did it, and the criminal is you.
Is he delirious? I didn't do anything, and I'm being treated like a possessed that killed her brother. No matter how you look at it, Shinya did it.
-- Stop teasing me. I was just set up. Why... You're cruel, Kaie. If you knew that, why didn't you save me?
-- Because it was impossible. Neither of us could stop Hisaori Shinya.
You're lying. Shinya could easily be stopped.
-- Y-you probably wouldn't be able to. But me! If you told me about that yesterday, and...
-- And you wouldn't be able to either. You have enough ability to outdo him, but you have no energy to oppose him. When you found out about it yesterday, you weren't able to blur the differences between you two, right?
Yesterday Hiasori Shinya couldn't stop the imitation that Hisaori Shinya started three years ago.
Karyou added that Shinya, until yesterday, was exactly as strong. That his imitation was way worse than mine, and way more amazing.
-- However skillfully the play was set, it pales before naturalness. Hisaori Shinya was a third rate actor, but his fervor was genuine. You understand? Without having any goal to show someone else's development - that job in itself is close to self-torture. How long a fantasy can be based on the stranger you just passed by? A human that has his own "I" wouldn't even last five minutes. Imitation requires a lot of fuel.
-- What?
I can't agree to that.
How can it be? I never once thought it was hard.
-- Yes. You are immediately opposing to that, you probably can't understand it. The life of a human that never once touched you can be imagined. Where anyone else would give up, Hisaori Shinya got stubborn and did it with his all. Three years ago you left him without a place in life, and he was thinking, without one second of rest. Without entertainment, without distractions, he used all his time to imitate someone else. Not you, loving to imitate. A normal human, that can barely think of imitating someone else, parted with all other ideas and completely got his whole self into it. The stubbornness and effort are unimaginable. When people talk about inhuman energy, it's about him. From the other side - here's a day, week, month, year, and all that time person was spending in thought; and you were just floating with the flow of other person's life. Can you stop it? Hardly.
-- ...
I got a chill.
Either because of the fear of crescent smile of Karyou-san, or from Shinya's energy. Even though I don't care about his stubbornness... that three-year long voluntary reclusion reminded me of myself.
Oh yes... If Shinya became like I was back then, then it's true, you can't stop him in a day... In, hmm... Four days at least.
-- So, if I wanted to stop him, yesterday was already not enough?
-- Yes. Also, Shinya-san's method was flawless. You can use a lot of ways to stop a plan about saving oneself, but a plan where you are not saving yourself can not be stopped. Suicide is the most ineffective, but realizable plan. Hisaori Shinya, whose life was already killed, decided to sacrifice his existence to kill the life of Hisaori Makina.
Enough. Shut up. Don't talk, stop! Of course, if he's going to kill himself on a roadside somewhere, I can't stop him.
-- And still. With all that - a suicide...
But I can't understand one thing. One is afraid of what one can't understand. And I'm feeling a real threat from Shinya right now.
Because I couldn't choose that method. I understood that an end like that wouldn't cause anyone trouble, but I was afraid even to think about it. Shinya, who did it without any fear, was stronger than me?..
-- But Shinya was so timid that he couldn't kill even me.
And a person like that was able to commit a suicide?
Suicide - it hurts, right? Whether you're healthy or possessed, doesn't matter. Soul always keeps on doing anything it can to prevent death of its container, isn't that right?
-- Was Shinya speaking normally? He was discharged after all, so he should've been normal.
-- Who knows. I don't know what illness did Hisaori Shinya have. I guess that if he recovered to normal thinking, he wouldn't kill himself. But you, looking from the other side, what do you think? How did Hisaori Shinya cure his psychosis?
That's the question. Karyou-san said that my plan succeeded. Shinya was ostracized, and even stranger is the fact that he recovered. Dead men usually don't rise, as the world hints.
-- Yes. Hisaori Shinya's mind was completely destroyed, thanks to you. He wanted to die that same moment. But his wish for revenge didn't let him do that. Hisaori Shinya couldn't die without defeating you. And even if he died, Hisaori Shinya wouldn't disappear. He would want to die, but he wouldn't be able to. And then he, wishing only for death, decided to return his sanity back, for the sake of getting to the last station. He didn't become sane and died, but he turned back to normal to die. You can say he switched his mind. Speaking poetically, Hisaori Shinya sold his soul to devil for the sake of crushing Hisaori Makina.
-- ...
Even if our abilities were different, we really were alike, like brother and sister. Shinya probably didn't rise with his own powers. My "only mistake" made birth to this revenge.
-- To defeat me to die himself?.. Ha-ha. Yeah, that's surely not because of hate. Hey, Kaie. Was my mistake not like Shinya's?
-- In a different order, but it was the same. There was only one mistake. Three years ago you, for the first time voluntarily, imitated Hiasori Shinya not as a goal, but as means. It wasn't like that before. You, partly from the interest, used the means to exist as means to entertainment.

"Never before I thought of anything as fun.
I tried to take your place, Shinya, and it seems to be entertaining."

Ahh. So that's what it was about.
-- Your imitation was correct because it was a goal in itself. As it was the ending stage, nothing came out of it. But you used imitation as means to push your brother from his chair. And means always get a goal - the result.

"Stupid... Bye-bye, Shinya."

I admit it. I had fun. Even when I jumped from the balcony, Shinya's teary face was bringing me delight. As I said myself - when I was put into clinic, it was a punishment for my only sin.
-- I get it. So the me of the past took revenge on me.
Exactly so.
The young man in the underground blooms with a smile.
Looks like I hurt myself.


-- Ehh... I was stupid.
The decision to come here was the worst, but at the same time the best. Suddenly, my downfall is clear. Everything is now clear in my head, and a lot is now unimportant.
Yeah. Enough, enough grasping for the past and wasting my nerves. Hisaori Makina always uses her head for different things.
-- That is all that Shinya-san asked me. So, what are you going to do now? You can either run or give yourself up. If you give up, you probably shouldn't be getting any aggravating circumstances to it.
Aggravating? How about yesterday's minors? Nothing, someone saved them. Probably. What Shinya-san was doing from Ishizue-san's name will return back to Shinya.
-- Oh, and to finish that off. They say Ishizue-san got discharged yesterday. I think he's in the dormitory by now?

It's okay. I don't need him anymore.
I take the knife from my back pocket.
I jerk from the feeling of a hard item in my hand. Blood is pulsating in my irremovable white right hand. What am I going to do? Return to clinic? Not bad, but that won't do anymore, Karyou-san. Now I know the place where I feel better than there, and wishing for better is natural.
-- Listen. I want a next object for copying.
That is probably first plea I ever made to anyone.
-- What?..
Still laying down, it looks at me. Can't run without hands or legs. And so, it has come to this.
-- Yes. So, can you please die?
My hand twitched happily. The dog of hate is silent.
-- Why? If you want to play me, just go and live as you lived somewhere, where no one knows about you. You don't need to become an original. Or Hisaori Makina works in some other way?
-- Well, yeah. You see, there is no room like that anywhere else. And you, Karyou-san, are amazingly rich.
-- Well, let's say so, I have the money. What, you want to kill me, cut your limbs off and sit here? You can't substitute me like that.
-- No, I can... Yes, there will be some discomfort. Well, I'll kill you and then think...
There are a lot of means. I just want this room. I don't need the original. And also...
-- How to say... It's like you set me up, isn't it?
Or this reasonless wish to kill and happiness come from my admiration of him?
I thrust the knife down. The world around me falls away. I am killed before I kill. My limbs are instantly surrounded by darkness.
-- Hey, wow, what the hell!..
And I - whoosh.
From the ashy space, I hear the tenth wave coming.


Next subchapter: 4\Self(L) (http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/2637-DDD?p=1088424&viewfull=1#post1088424)

December 13th, 2012, 02:53 PM
P.S. Can anyone please find out for me whether it's "Nozu" or "Noju" industrial region? I browsed my previous files, it seems I translated it as both and now am troubled as to which to correct.

December 13th, 2012, 02:57 PM
Nouzu or Nozu is fine.

That's the place where the residential is, the area where Hisaori couple lived ain't it?

December 13th, 2012, 02:59 PM
*cough* yeah, residential.
wait, it says industrial... oh well, whatever. ("The residential array in industrial area", yeah, that's where Hisaori lived)


brb then

December 13th, 2012, 03:06 PM
No, no. Nouzu is a large place. Mainly industrial (a 3km park) but also has a few houses.

Oh man, you're already in Makina's meeting with Karyou, shit's so cash.

December 13th, 2012, 04:00 PM
I don't know what's happening with me, I suddenly got way more busy and troubled and suddenly I need to do so much stuff AND at the same time I wake up from DDD hiatus.

December 13th, 2012, 04:03 PM
I wish I could help you translating. I tried my hand with vt but I didn't like it.

The best I can do is help you with things such as that little query posts above.

December 13th, 2012, 04:05 PM
The best I can do is help you with things such as that little query posts above.
That's already totally awesome, sometimes I might be stuck for 10-15 minutes on two-three sentences just trying to phrase it right, understand it first (because sometimes it is hard), or get rid of tautology.

December 13th, 2012, 04:14 PM
That's already totally awesome, sometimes I might be stuck for 10-15 minutes on two-three sentences just trying to phrase it right, understand it first (because sometimes it is hard), or get rid of tautology.

I understand you. Here's a shitty part of my practice translation.

"Ah, after so much talk and we're here. Listen, this gun is loaded with anesthesia ammunition, as long as you hit it'll be effective. I certainly don't expect you to target shooting. The poison is a lethal enough neurotoxin. According to yesterday's data, the testing of the drug is not done yet so there shouldn't be any immunity issues."

"...How can this kind of thing be called anesthetics? Ah, Mato-san but in the case they do not take the initiative of clinging to me?"

"In that case you throw it. Well, go down. You are one of my trump cards. Don't leave my side."

The helicopter landed over the top of the central building of Origa Memorial Hospital. Mato-san pulled out two comical large automatic pistols and even more comically placed the muzzles on top of her shoulders. A closer look revealed they weren't her usual "Beretta", but proudly bearing the name of the world's most powerful automatic pistol: DESERT EAGLE.

December 13th, 2012, 05:37 PM
I am once again in awe, so the one who met karyou in the first place was makina?

December 13th, 2012, 05:54 PM

bahamut zero
December 21st, 2012, 01:02 PM
so, what's the general progress with this? How much of the 2 volumes is translated?

December 21st, 2012, 01:02 PM
Half of HandS. Starting on second half.

bahamut zero
December 21st, 2012, 01:06 PM
HandS is the first volume?

December 21st, 2012, 01:09 PM
HandS takes up pretty much the whole thing. JtheE is about a hundred pages and formalhunt is something like 30-40. Book is something about three hundred something pages long iirc.

bahamut zero
December 21st, 2012, 01:10 PM
So you could say the first volume is like half translated, right?

December 21st, 2012, 01:15 PM
Not really~ you specifically mention this project when it was arai's translation of JtheE.

arai: JtheE
Enhance: HandS (R) starting on HandS(L)
CanonRap: bits of the formalhunt.

Crown: Opening lines of Fomalhaut.

bahamut zero
December 21st, 2012, 01:16 PM
So JtheE is the first volume then?

December 21st, 2012, 01:41 PM
No its the first chapter of the first volume.

DDD1 is:
First appendix

DDD2 is
Second appendix
Vt. in day dream
Vt. in day dream notes


December 21st, 2012, 03:17 PM
I don't think my bits of formalhunt are enough to be called a translation at all.

December 21st, 2012, 03:19 PM
Crown: Opening lines of Fomalhaut.


never finished translating those properly, what a shame ;_;

S.vs.S is the HandS. of the second volume. Shit's too long, FOMALHAUT is perfect and vt entertaining as hell.

I was translating vt (even made an entry on my blog but deleted it), but I think I'm gonna stop unless I have someone check on me. I have the notes done though. I've also done other stuff besides that; both appendixes, a pseudo encyclopedia and an unfinished timeline.

December 21st, 2012, 05:52 PM
I don't think my bits of formalhunt are enough to be called a translation at all.

Your right lol. But its still nice. And I counted Crown's translation of the appendixes and intro to FOMALHAUT so why not lol.

I was translating vt (even made an entry on my blog but deleted it), but I think I'm gonna stop unless I have someone check on me. I have the notes done though. I've also done other stuff besides that; both appendixes, a pseudo encyclopedia and an unfinished timeline.
You posted it on 4chan iirc.

And you mean
Both indexes, the notes, an unfinished encyclopedia, and an unfinished timeline.

December 21st, 2012, 06:07 PM
With pseudo I thought it'd be obvious it's incomplete. I don't even know when I would finish the encyclopedia.

I'm mainly missing events from S.vs.S in the timeline, but I doubt I'll ever finish reading it ;_; (almost done with 1). Kirisu's yakuza backstory is manly so far.

December 21st, 2012, 06:19 PM
Just add the part of Hinomori shanking Kazumi and robbing Arika. Done.

Wait, you never finished SvS? Get to the part of Arika vs Kazumi at least for awesome Hinomori.

December 21st, 2012, 06:31 PM
Just add the part of Hinomori shanking Kazumi and robbing Arika. Done.

Wait, you never finished SvS? Get to the part of Arika vs Kazumi at least for awesome Hinomori.

No sir, I do wish to read more about Kazumi and his shitty life. Hinomori showing up will be just an extra delight. Right now I'm where Arika exits Marion and sees Kazumi. Then he's suprised that Arika is armless now (everyone is). The last part of 1 is something about Sekura (don't remember if is his "excorcism") iirc.

December 25th, 2012, 01:43 AM
With my current clusterfuck of a life, this shit's put on hold until I sort everything out. I have some spare time, but I usually just entertain myself.
On the other note, a light at the end of the tunnel has appeared in face of some very useful connections I've made. So maybe the sorting out will happen sooner than not.

December 25th, 2012, 02:07 AM
You should take a rest from this and forget everything for a while.

Not like many care about DDD anyway.

January 29th, 2013, 04:40 AM
I am going to be using DDD for a Japanese literature course. おたのしみに~

January 29th, 2013, 04:40 AM
I am going to be using DDD for a Japanese literature course. おたのしみに~

I already used my translation to pass English exam.

January 29th, 2013, 04:41 AM
I already used my translation to pass English exam.
Not for translation, that would be much easier because I can fudge things with my English writing ability.

It's literary criticism and analysis in Japanese. Graduate level courses blahhhhhh I just wanna go to med school

January 29th, 2013, 04:43 AM
Not for translation, that would be much easier because I can fudge things with my English writing ability.

It's literary criticism and analysis in Japanese. Graduate level courses blahhhhhh I just wanna go to med school
Yeah, I got it that you're gonna use the originals. Just saying I used DDD in exams as well :D

I also translated part of KnK to Russian and submitted it too back in the school. (The part where the a body is dismembered and limbs formed in a swastika shape. Yeah, I did it for the lulz.)

January 29th, 2013, 04:48 AM
Are you saying you translated Nasu's work and then submitted it as your own writing? You evil person, you.