PDA

View Full Version : Random Dating/Relationship Advice From the Forumites



Bring
March 26th, 2011, 04:44 PM
I have no idea why I'm doing this......

Well......that said, this is just kind of an idea I had and I'm going through with it on a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing. That's what the forum is for anyways, right? :p

Anyways, often times people have trouble with relationships, dating, or something of the like. I've helped a couple of my friends from time to time and every now and then I see someone downing themselves when it comes to things like this.

Soooo, I figured since we're all here we can kind of come together like a good little community and help fellow forumites in need.

Not really sure if this'll take off; but, at least I can say I tried.

If you have problems, concerns, or opinions, I hope you'll trust all of us enough to help and stuff. I also hope that others will help those seeking help as well.

---------------------------------------------

And now as corny as it is, I will attempt to start off with a few little tips I think are important.
---------------------------------------------


The #1 most important thing to do is smile. I mean come on, who doesn't like to see a smile to brighten up their day? It's just contagious. But not only that, smiling gives you a feeling of confidence and overall good vibes when approaching a person. I'd say roughly 9 times out of 10, if you approach someone with a depressing expression on your face, they'll turn you down. Sure, all of us get nervous and might not be able to pull off a good smile every time, but just be confident in yourself and it will take you a long way.

Confidence itself is one of the most important things to have when you're dating. The way you carry yourself and the way you view your actions and the actions of others say a lot about you, rather you want them to or not. This is one of the ways a person figures out if you are the type of person they care to be around in the long run. I've heard a lot of people say that having confidence in yourself is harder than I make it out to be, but it's really not. Everyone has something about them that only they can offer and everyone has something about them that they can be proud of. Often times people are just too busy beating themselves up over the little things and it's causing them to miss the big message. Zero in on you. Problems come in go. So it's best to just deal with them, forget them, and move on.

You have to be prepared to date. Plain and simple. It's a commitment. Sometimes I even joke and say that having a relationship with someone is much like having another whole job. You can't just half-ass your way through dating or a relationship because I can pretty much guarantee you it won't end well if you do. You're going to have snags and snares along the way, but that just comes with the job. You've got to put some effort into it if you want it to last. All good relationships are an equivalent exchange on both sides; you give something and you get something.

If something doesn't work out, know when to back down. I can not stress this enough! If you're in a bad relationship, and you know you're in a bad relationship, cut your loses and move on. But don't be an ass about it. If you can, try to end the relationship on a good note. Maybe even give a few suggestions as to what the other person can do to clean up their act. If that person really wants to be with you, they will do it.

One of the bigger problems I see is when people don't handle rejection well. First off, all of us go through it. Hell, I wouldn't have typed this up if I hadn't gone through it myself. But this is just one of the many things you have to be prepared for when doing something like this. When you boil it all down, the worst anyone ever really says is "no". That's it. Just one word. If someone doesn't want to take you up on the offered date, just go "okay" and go about your business. I'm not saying to be indifferent to the answer, I'm just saying it's not something to get hung up over.

Don't get down just because you see everyone else in a relationship. First off, getting depressed over something so small is already killing your confidence which you need to come off as appealing. That little saying about everyone being in a relationship when you're single may seem true at first, but that's only because you've zeroed in on that idea so much. If anything, seeing people in a relationship should make you say to yourself, "that's what I want". Don't think of it as a negative thing, but a positive one. I'll admit I had some trouble with this when I was single. But then I looked at the relationship my friend Clairaine had with her boyfriend Daniel. For my high school years, and maybe even now, I've seen them as the ideal couple and I've continued to strive for that. Using them as an example, I've been able to clean up my act and even become more sensitive to certain matters when it comes to dealing with a relationship. Hell, I've even asked both of them for advice. You just have to remember that you're not the only one out there. That's all.

Also, I'm not saying I'm right about anything here. I'm just giving opinions on my experiences and stuff. I could be completely wrong, but I feel I've got reasonable judgments.

Kotonoha
March 26th, 2011, 04:54 PM
Forget 3D. Find a waifu.

(This is the only advice necessary.)

Jase
March 26th, 2011, 05:04 PM
But I did find a Waifu!

But Rinko won't just randomly fall in love with me for no reason like my japanese animes ;-;

loveplus strategy guide thread plz

Kotonoha
March 26th, 2011, 05:41 PM
GRIND STATZ

I forget which stat Rinko likes, was it charm?

DarkMAN
March 26th, 2011, 06:00 PM
I mean come on, who doesn't like to see a smile to brighten up their day?

ME! When I see a someone smiling like an idiot for no reason I feel like punching him.
EDIT: That could brighten up MY day.

GARcher
March 26th, 2011, 06:26 PM
Of all the places on the internet, this is one I did not expect to find this. :p

TypeWannabe
March 26th, 2011, 06:54 PM
Quote the ending lines of Casanova to her if you think you'll never see her again. Just make sure to omit a few sentences.

Tobias
March 26th, 2011, 07:23 PM
GRIND STATZ

I forget which stat Rinko likes, was it charm?

the only thing I have done lately is work out, so I guess I am stuck with ......chime....cheeme.......the fuck was her name from true love.

KENTA
March 26th, 2011, 08:36 PM
I think GRIND STATZ is good advice for everyone.

Tobias
March 26th, 2011, 10:01 PM
Not so, kenta-chan! You still have to go out and trip route flags.

Marth
March 26th, 2011, 10:25 PM
1.) Grind statz

2.) Trip the proper route flags

3.) ?????

4.) PROFIT

Cascade
March 27th, 2011, 12:53 AM
I think the problem for a lot of people is locale too though.
Especially after college. Where the heck do you even go to find cute nerd girls?

Marth
March 27th, 2011, 02:05 AM
I'd agree that locale is a problem for most. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. I am probably the only nerd in a 50 mile radius. =(

mangafreak7793
March 27th, 2011, 02:55 AM
Read and learn from Kasuragi in The world only God knows

deadfish
March 27th, 2011, 05:19 AM
I think the problem for a lot of people is locale too though.
Especially after college. Where the heck do you even go to find cute nerd girls?

Dating sites? Lol.

Somebody at work is using one of those alot.

He also tested positive for syphilis the other day too.

Marth
March 27th, 2011, 05:23 AM
Dating sites? Lol.

Somebody at work is using one of those alot.

He also tested positive for syphilis the other day too.

...dating sites? Really? >_<
90% of them aren't even worth the effort of joining in the first place.

Kotonoha
March 27th, 2011, 09:58 AM
Well if I ever decide I want syphilis, I know where to go now!

Tobias
March 27th, 2011, 10:07 AM
well....I guess that means he is getting laid...


probably from dirty prostitutes after the online thing didn't work out, but hey.........erm......actually, I forgot where I was going with this

Lotus Saint
March 27th, 2011, 01:24 PM
This is the only advice I can give you.

Don't bother using rigged condoms after the first time.

Kotonoha
March 27th, 2011, 01:28 PM
Rigged...?

Lotus Saint
March 27th, 2011, 02:40 PM
Rigged...?

Rigged, for her pleasure.

Jase
March 27th, 2011, 03:38 PM
Oh, I thought you meant rigged, as in rigged to slip/break and cause pregnancy, while you're in a place that doesn't allow abortion, and then force marriage due to baby.

Avi-tan
March 27th, 2011, 03:41 PM
Oh, I thought you meant rigged, as in rigged to slip/break and cause pregnancy, while you're in a place that doesn't allow abortion, and then force marriage due to baby.

Where the heck am I!? ;~;

Jase
March 27th, 2011, 03:44 PM
Dating/Relationship advice from the internet.

Brynhilde
March 27th, 2011, 10:03 PM
Err I'm not sure WHY you've got this thread started, Bring, but not many here are going to post serious relationship issues out in the open Internet.

Bring
March 27th, 2011, 10:12 PM
Err I'm not sure WHY you've got this thread started, Bring, but not many here are going to post serious relationship issues out in the open Internet.

*shrug* I figured. But ya can't blame me for trying. :P

Marth
March 27th, 2011, 10:16 PM
Oh, I thought you meant rigged, as in rigged to slip/break and cause pregnancy, while you're in a place that doesn't allow abortion, and then force marriage due to baby.

I thought the same thing, dude.

Ribbed, man. Not rigged. =/

Kotonoha
March 28th, 2011, 08:24 AM
Oh, I thought you meant rigged, as in rigged to slip/break and cause pregnancy, while you're in a place that doesn't allow abortion, and then force marriage due to baby.

Me too.

Rigged and ribbed, learn the difference, it may save your life?

Tobias
March 28th, 2011, 09:02 AM
Or start a new one!


*shiny happy anime eyes!*

ItsaRandomUsername
March 28th, 2011, 09:20 AM
Me too.

Rigged and ribbed, learn the difference, it may save your life?


Good, because I thought that some sick bastards actually infected condoms with various STDs out of malice and spite. If that were the case, then I'm never having sex ever again out of paranoia... ;~;

Shikieiki
March 28th, 2011, 06:07 PM
I'm always here, crying about this stuff. People remember the red-haired bitch incident.

KENTA
March 29th, 2011, 03:45 AM
I merember it!

Lotus Saint
March 29th, 2011, 10:59 PM
I'm always here, crying about this stuff. People remember the red-haired bitch incident.

What was this incident about?
Can you explain it?

King Rorthur
March 30th, 2011, 01:37 PM
Bathe, always bathe. You'd think that this would be common sense.

Jase
March 30th, 2011, 02:29 PM
Shave too, unless you're actually confident about that beard/stache.

KENTA
March 30th, 2011, 02:32 PM
Or if they like that Amazon look.

Jase
March 30th, 2011, 02:41 PM
/thread

http://cloudgirlfriend.com/

lilithsama
March 30th, 2011, 03:15 PM
Shave too, unless you're actually confident about that beard/stache.

i wouldnt say this s really necessary
and i know at least a few girls who agree

stubble <3

Tobias
March 30th, 2011, 03:18 PM
you can have my goatee when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

or, you know....shave me while I am asleep or something.


....so...dont do that.

lilithsama
March 30th, 2011, 03:28 PM
can i have it to wuzzle with?

Tobias
March 30th, 2011, 03:39 PM
Kenta-chan would get mad, doncha know!

lilithsama
March 30th, 2011, 03:40 PM
yeah dun care

KENTA
March 30th, 2011, 03:40 PM
No.

lilithsama
March 30th, 2011, 03:44 PM
Tobi is more fun~~

*wuzzle wuzzle*

Kotonoha
March 30th, 2011, 04:11 PM
Shave too, unless you're actually confident about that beard/stache.

Shave even if you're confident about it. Your confidence means you are delusional.

Tobias
March 30th, 2011, 04:37 PM
Shave even if you're confident about it. Your confidence means you are delusional.

we cant be friends anymore.

lilithsama
March 30th, 2011, 04:40 PM
Koto just does not get the appeal of AWESOME facial hair =3=

Kotonoha
March 30th, 2011, 04:42 PM
Lilith does not get that the people who choose to have facial hair are generally not the ones who actually look any good with it.

Tobias
March 30th, 2011, 04:54 PM
And....this includes rapebird?!

Rapebird has become emobawk.

lilithsama
March 30th, 2011, 05:07 PM
Lilith does not get that the people who choose to have facial hair are generally not the ones who actually look any good with it.

key word generally

alot of the time that is not the case

Elf
April 2nd, 2011, 03:59 AM
No, facial hair sucks. It's itchy.

GARcher
April 3rd, 2011, 05:25 AM
Even I hate my own facial hair... I don't expect a chick to like it.

Revy
April 3rd, 2011, 11:50 AM
Nothing wrong with a little facial hair. Depending on who you are, I think it can add a little something.

Lavender
April 3rd, 2011, 11:51 AM
No, facial hair sucks. It's itchy.

We can't be friends anymore.

Revy
April 3rd, 2011, 11:59 AM
Personally, I prefer guys with facial hair because it makes them look more manly. Perhaps it is a bit shallow in some way, but when I see a guy without facial hair, they appear to me as boyish and immature.

I will admit however that too much facial hair is a turn off. On the other hand, just that right amount will constitute a second glance or more.

KENTA
April 3rd, 2011, 12:49 PM
I would just like to say, regardless of how you females feel about facial hair, for a lot of guys after it gets to a certain length it is CONSTANTLY itchy. CONSTANTLY.

Mike1984
April 3rd, 2011, 01:00 PM
Personally, I prefer guys with facial hair because it makes them look more manly. Perhaps it is a bit shallow in some way, but when I see a guy without facial hair, they appear to me as boyish and immature.

I will admit however that too much facial hair is a turn off. On the other hand, just that right amount will constitute a second glance or more.

The problem is that the "right amount" of facial hair is usually pretty hard to actually achieve, at least long-term (unless you mean a proper beard, that is, as opposed to a little bit of stubble).

You see, facial hair has a tendancy to grow, and it's pretty much impossible to shave it short without removing it entirely. So, usually, either you have a substantial beard, or else you alternate between clean-shaven and "too much stubble" according to when you last bothered shaving....


I would just like to say, regardless of how you females feel about facial hair, for a lot of guys after it gets to a certain length it is CONSTANTLY itchy. CONSTANTLY.

Yeah....

Which is probably actually quite convinient, really, because when it gets to that length the itchiness causes me to overcome my laziness and actually shave it.

Revy
April 3rd, 2011, 01:13 PM
The problem is that the "right amount" of facial hair is usually pretty hard to actually achieve, at least long-term (unless you mean a proper beard, that is, as opposed to a little bit of stubble).

You see, facial hair has a tendancy to grow, and it's pretty much impossible to shave it short without removing it entirely. So, usually, either you have a substantial beard, or else you alternate between clean-shaven and "too much stubble" according to when you last bothered shaving....

There is more than one way to maintain facial hair rather than just shaving it outright. You can simply trim it down with some barber clippers.


I would just like to say, regardless of how you females feel about facial hair, for a lot of guys after it gets to a certain length it is CONSTANTLY itchy. CONSTANTLY.

As Mike said, a good sigh that you need to shave. :)

Jase
April 3rd, 2011, 01:56 PM
Pfft, Revy, we aren't GIRLS.

GUYS aren't going to sit in front of the mirror and spend half an hour or more just grooming their facial hair with a pair of clippers.

Not most of us, anyways.

Revy
April 3rd, 2011, 02:01 PM
Simply a suggestion. :p

Jase
April 3rd, 2011, 02:05 PM
Lol, if you're going to ask a guy to do that, you better be prepared to deliver back like 6 times the effort in self-grooming.

Like, the works.

Revy
April 3rd, 2011, 02:16 PM
Lol, if you're going to ask a guy to do that, you better be prepared to deliver back like 6 times the effort in self-grooming.

Like, the works.

And my answer to that would be that I spend countless hours taking care of my appearance, staying in shape, taking care of my hair, finding pretty dresses and cute clothes, applying make-up, getting my nails done, and so one so that I can always look my best for said man. The least he could to is groom his face for me.

Jase
April 3rd, 2011, 02:20 PM
tbh, I'm not sure most guys will actually understand or notice that.

More likely, once they have to deal with watching or waiting for you while you do some of those things, the incredible amount of complete obliviousness will probably lead them to constantly murmur about "what the fuck is taking her so long" or something, lol.

Well, at least the first few ones aren't in vain.

lilithsama
April 3rd, 2011, 02:20 PM
@revy
me tooos~ cept the nails, i just make sure they're shaped well, or not snagged
although thats not really to look "best" for anyone
its more of a self-confidence thing

and i like scraggly beard~ not long one, just like, where it looks like you haven't shaven for a weeks
hrmm, "grooming" wise i think the only thing i really care about would be clothing, like at least try to look somewhat nice instead of throwing on old ass cheetos shirts

.....kenken *glare*

Lavender
April 3rd, 2011, 03:25 PM
Pfft, Revy, we aren't GIRLS.

GUYS aren't going to sit in front of the mirror and spend half an hour or more just grooming their facial hair with a pair of clippers.

Not most of us, anyways.

Actually, I'd say a healthy number of guys care more about their appearance than they say they do, lol.

Kotonoha
April 3rd, 2011, 03:34 PM
Lol, if you're going to ask a guy to do that, you better be prepared to deliver back like 6 times the effort in self-grooming.

Like, the works.

Women shave everything, men can afford to shave their faces once in a while. :P

Theocrass
April 3rd, 2011, 03:35 PM
But I like my goatee. D:

Jase
April 3rd, 2011, 03:41 PM
Oh, guys care about how they look, to a point. But I think it's important to stress how these take shape.

Say, when a girl "cleans up" (which many do almost as a daily ritual, rather than for particular events). Many things that take place are "extraordinary", things that might not necessarily be routine or significantly different from normal. It differs from girl to girl, but examples include make up, perfume, jewelry (more than usual, or flashier ones), new clothes, fake eyelashes, manicure, hair dressing (like, paying a hair dresser to get your hair in a particular style, that you don't actually intend to keep regularly, which happens mostly in big events like prom night, etc.). It's quite numerous, and takes lots of different shapes, since the female corpus of self-expression is so wide, well-established, and socially accepted.

Compare this with a guy, who is looking to clean up. There may be a few extraordinary things they might do, cologne being one example. And technically, if it's a serious enough occasion, they will dress up. Not only is the male range of dressing up mostly monotonous, once you get past a certain age (20~30), they essentially settle into one "dressed up" outfit, unless it stops fitting. So they keep a suit in the closet and it sort of sits there, ready to be called. And they won't buy a knew one unless there's a strong motivator like it not fitting to necessitate it.

In other cases, most of their dressing up will be doing routine more vigorously, rather than adding to it. They might shave before they usually would shave, but the act of shaving wouldn't actually be changed from routine (except maybe being more careful about getting it clean). They might add conditioner to their shampoo, and take a shower at a time they usually wouldn't, but the act of showering isn't really changed on a fundamental level. On particularly crazy occasions, they might even make a trip to the hair dresser, which superficially, is like the female case, but usually it's to just tidy up an existing hair style, rather than to wear a new one. And if it is a new hair style, it won't be transient like the female one, and he'll most likely keep it (though probably get lazy about getting it perfect every day).

At the uppermost limit, the most "extraordinary" thing a man is likely to contemplate when "dressing up", is choosing between a few accessories: the tie, the belt, and the wrist watch. For wristwatches though, most guys can't afford more than a single nice one, so there's no real choice in accessorizing with it. Belts only come in a handful of variety.

So you're ultimately down to choosing a cologne (if you even wear one) and choosing a tie (if the occasion even calls for it).

lilithsama
April 3rd, 2011, 03:43 PM
honestly i don't think it f*cking matters
if you like someone you like someone
shaving/grooming/dressing up doesnt have anything to do with that

so if a guy doesn't want to, good for him
if they do, more power to him

although girls, sometimes they need to
like in lili's case, if she didnt shave/pluck shed be looking like frida kahlo =_=

Lavender
April 3rd, 2011, 07:21 PM
Frida Kahlo was fucking gorgeous.

I do not care what you say.

Cascade
April 3rd, 2011, 11:02 PM
I think with men, the trick is coordinating styles and colors to look good, if it comes to clothing. Also looking clean and keeping your face shaved/beard trimmed, if you have one.

One thing that is never cool is a ponytail and beard combination, lol.

Jase
April 3rd, 2011, 11:23 PM
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/4535/masterasia.jpg

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Tobias
April 4th, 2011, 12:30 AM
Isn't that pony tail and mustache?

KENTA
April 4th, 2011, 08:03 AM
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/4535/masterasia.jpg

I have no idea what you're talking about.

LOOK! THE STACHE IS BURNING RED!

Cascade
April 6th, 2011, 01:10 AM
Yeah, that's a stache and ponytail. Entirely different. XD
But you have to be badass and old to make that work.

Jase
April 6th, 2011, 04:11 AM
Hair doesn't grow much when you are old. You must grow it in preparation.

GARcher
April 6th, 2011, 11:32 PM
IMO it's easy for men to look good. Most of the stuff made for men looks nice on men. Just try not to make weird colour mixes and you're set.

A sense of cleaniness is probably more important, though.

Jase
April 6th, 2011, 11:35 PM
But don't you find it chafing to have such a narrow selection of options?

... well, probably not.

GARcher
April 7th, 2011, 12:20 AM
I actually prefer not having so many options... I get lost when I have too many lol.

One of the things I like the most about being a man is the convenience. Just a shirt, some jeans, a pair of snickers, a jacket (if it's cold) and perfume.

KENTA
April 7th, 2011, 06:42 AM
I'm hopeless, I have no idea what colors match.

Tobias
April 7th, 2011, 07:24 AM
I actually prefer not having so many options... I get lost when I have too many lol.

One of the things I like the most about being a man is the convenience. Just a shirt, some jeans, a pair of snickers, a jacket (if it's cold) and perfume.

up until this point I thought you were elf.

lilithsama
April 7th, 2011, 02:58 PM
I'm hopeless, I have no idea what colors match.


just wear jeans
then you don't have to think/worry about that

ugh i really need to teach you how to f*cking dress