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Spinach
February 18th, 2018, 11:49 PM
I feel discomforted.

Because you're a Chinese girl with braces?

Arashi, physical imperfections are sexy. Don't you know? It's like having a thing for glasses, but teeth.

- - - Updated - - -

Wait, is Polish your new ethnicity, Leo?

SeiKeo
February 18th, 2018, 11:51 PM
Did I ever tell you about my great-uncle?

Dullahan
February 19th, 2018, 12:01 AM
https://i.imgur.com/7rqd7fL.jpg

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 12:04 AM
Did I ever tell you about my great-uncle?

Give us an ethnicity claim list.

Post your sheet, Leo.

Five_X
February 19th, 2018, 12:19 AM
I3uster wants to fuck Chinese girls with braces, I wanna take shots with a Polish bombshell.

And then take off my pants.

Decidedly not recommended, I did this and I only remember half of it on a happy day.

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 12:21 AM
I'm well regarded as a heavyweight who holds his liquor well and remembers everything no matter how much I drink. I'm not weak.

Five_X
February 19th, 2018, 12:24 AM
It's not the liquor,
that's the kicker.

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 12:27 AM
You're only encouraging me.

Five_X
February 19th, 2018, 12:27 AM
I always wanted to be influential!

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 12:33 AM
I'm too powerful to be influenced. At most you can reinforce my ideas and values as good. My mind is too rock solid to let a foreign power plant new ideas in it.

Anyone else watching the olympics tonight, skating is lit.

Dullahan
February 19th, 2018, 12:36 AM
I'm too powerful to be influenced. At most you can reinforce my ideas and values as good. My mind is too rock solid to let a foreign power plant new ideas in it.

https://i.imgur.com/DgDE1Q4.jpg

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 12:37 AM
Yes Dullahan I get food cravings and today's is pizza and Polish beauty.

Dullahan
February 19th, 2018, 12:40 AM
I have some bad news for you, then.

https://i.imgur.com/FcsD9on.jpg

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 12:58 AM
Gay women don't actually exist, they're basically a long running joke that some people think is real. A hoax, almost.

- - - Updated - - -

Figure skating is so balls to the walls and I'm not even drunk dude.

- - - Updated - - -

Alright time to face the facts, I'm gay.

Five_X
February 19th, 2018, 01:09 AM
But are you intensely gay?

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 01:31 AM
Have yet to take the placement tests.

Historia
February 19th, 2018, 01:47 AM
Where am I.

Saiga
February 19th, 2018, 03:37 AM
Actually it's because she got one order of fries that was too salty once years ago and has steadfastly refused to order them salted ever since because if Koreans are good at one thing it's holding a grudge against Japan

hah!

I didn't even know you could get McDonalds fries unsalted

the god of world-0
February 19th, 2018, 03:42 AM
in my country, they always come unsalted and you put salt youself.

Mcjon01
February 19th, 2018, 05:20 AM
in my country, they always come unsalted and you put salt youself.
Well that’s dangerous, just give me the salt then who even needs fries to put them on? The fries were always just salt delivery sticks.

the god of world-0
February 19th, 2018, 05:32 AM
salt delivery sticks may just be one of the most beautiful descripitions i ever seen

canaki
February 19th, 2018, 05:50 AM
I didn't know unsalted fries were possible, since I always see the arbeiters salting the fries long before they stuff it in the packs.
I even had a friend who'd stubbornly try to desalt the fries herself by scraping them on the edge of the carton.

mAc Chaos
February 19th, 2018, 05:59 AM
You can always ask them to do all sorts of things to customize the order. Whether they screw it up because their normal routine that they follow every time is broken is another story.

the god of world-0
February 19th, 2018, 06:07 AM
the nature of humanity is to strive for the perfect without ever stop being imperfect

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 07:01 AM
https://i.imgur.com/DgDE1Q4.jpg

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/173798231895965696/415007662820818955/polish.jpg

I wish my Father raised me as a woman who could withstand fire, best I got to do was shoot a shotgun.

Saiga
February 19th, 2018, 07:10 AM
You can always ask them to do all sorts of things to customize the order. Whether they screw it up because their normal routine that they follow every time is broken is another story.

Ahhh, Hungry Jacks at Mudgee. You dense motherfuckers.

Mcjon01
February 19th, 2018, 07:30 AM
I didn't know unsalted fries were possible, since I always see the arbeiters salting the fries long before they stuff it in the packs.
I even had a friend who'd stubbornly try to desalt the fries herself by scraping them on the edge of the carton.

The trick is when you order them unsalted they cook a fresh batch then fill up a pack directly from that to set aside before they pour the rest onto the salting/heating tray

- - - Updated - - -

So I guess if you want fresh fries force them to make new ones by ordering unsalted AND salted and then just throw out the trash

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 07:34 AM
you ever tried just asking for fresh ones instead

this reminds me of asking for a burger without pickles to give it fresh but unless theres 50 people in line behind you the employees usually dont actually care that much

Saiga
February 19th, 2018, 07:37 AM
i just ask for no pickles because pickles are fucked

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 07:39 AM
getting call out posts when you cant defend yourself i guess ill just keep this polish girls number to myself

Mcjon01
February 19th, 2018, 07:39 AM
you ever tried just asking for fresh ones instead

this reminds me of asking for a burger without pickles to give it fresh but unless theres 50 people in line behind you the employees usually dont actually care that much

Sorry I'm just a dumb gaijin I don't know the word for "fresh fries" :^)

SpoonyViking
February 19th, 2018, 08:24 AM
https://i.imgur.com/7rqd7fL.jpg

Huh. I did not know "handsome" could be used to describe women as well. Live and learn, live and learn.

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 08:36 AM
It's dated, probably don't go calling a woman handsome

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 08:39 AM
a smaller act that ive been following did her breakthrough meanwhile another one who used to be my favorite is now a fluoride conspiracy theorist and had to get that out before his new album releases

win some lose some

SpoonyViking
February 19th, 2018, 09:35 AM
It's dated, probably don't go calling a woman handsome

I see. Thanks!

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 09:50 AM
getting call out posts when you cant defend yourself i guess ill just keep this polish girls number to myself

???

"defend" yourself

???

Snow
February 19th, 2018, 10:00 AM
It's dated, probably don't go calling a woman handsome

Unless: me.

- - - Updated - - -

and them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSfSyVXc26Y

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 10:02 AM
I WAS THINKING OF YOU WHILE WRITING THAT POST THATS WHY I WROTE PROBABLY

Dullahan
February 19th, 2018, 10:04 AM
bring back the 19th century usage of handsome tbh

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 10:06 AM
having two hands?

Snow
February 19th, 2018, 10:10 AM
I WAS THINKING OF YOU WHILE WRITING THAT POST THATS WHY I WROTE PROBABLY

ILU I dug these out just for you
https://i.imgur.com/9niPz5r.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/IhiN15G.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/FDZ0CFK.jpg

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 10:14 AM
:O

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 10:16 AM
Wow what a pretty boy

canaki
February 19th, 2018, 10:42 AM
Pretty men and handsome women are the best

the god of world-0
February 19th, 2018, 10:53 AM
am i pretty?

Historia
February 19th, 2018, 11:21 AM
anyone with a francis drake avatar is handsome in my book

time for some angst,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QS0H1rbjlc

Zurvan
February 19th, 2018, 11:37 AM
getting call out posts when you cant defend yourself i guess ill just keep this polish girls number to myself

do you actually have this

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 11:58 AM
snows tips were doing their best but in the end it didnt work out

as in she said she was busy for exams and i wished her the best and now its semester break and she didnt write back

Five_X
February 19th, 2018, 12:08 PM
Prayers for a fallen brother.

Zurvan
February 19th, 2018, 12:11 PM
snows tips were doing their best but in the end it didnt work out

as in she said she was busy for exams and i wished her the best and now its semester break and she didnt write back

snows tips?

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 12:13 PM
snow i need your help how do i get a slav architecture student to like me

- - - Updated - - -

dont disappoint me dating advice thread

(im making a funny joke but yes that was her)

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 12:14 PM
buster we keep giving you the ultimate tip of eating the eggs and doing the pullups but you never listen to us

Zurvan
February 19th, 2018, 12:16 PM
wait the crash course video?

Frostyvale
February 19th, 2018, 01:15 PM
The pull ups don't actually help.

But they do allow you to make a hasty and unconventional escape after opening with "How would you like two kids and health insurance?"

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 01:19 PM
EU citizens are insured while in Austria so idk how tempting that offer would be.

Frostyvale
February 19th, 2018, 01:20 PM
It works pretty well in the states. Some people get as far as three divorces.

Huitante
February 19th, 2018, 02:17 PM
Some time ago I've encountered a guy who, upon knowing him better, revealed uncanny resemblance to Shirou in variety of aspects. But eventually I found out that he isn't really into cooking. I didn't need to get reminded that anime isn't real, ok?

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 02:32 PM
if the tradeoff is that hes not psychologically damaged beyond repair its prob worth

Huitante
February 19th, 2018, 03:53 PM
Sure. I wouldn't call him normal, but he doesn't seem to be psychologically damaged. I think he's a really great guy.

I had a group mate in uni who perfectly fulfilled the typical "intelligent, ambitious and handsome, but possibly evil upperclassman" archetype, speaking of anime

I3uster
February 19th, 2018, 03:56 PM
did he ever start talking about cracking eggshells when you were in a lift

Snow
February 19th, 2018, 04:00 PM
Nice.

Huitante
February 19th, 2018, 04:01 PM
Oh god why

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 04:04 PM
Here, Snow, for you. 2018 "I'm kinda hot now" ver.

https://i.imgur.com/xgmOOHq.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/V8ZSXzZ.jpg

Complete with messy just got home from work hair.

Snow
February 19th, 2018, 04:10 PM
[PTERODACTYL SCREAMING]

YOU'RE SO PRETTYYYYY

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 04:16 PM
No, you!

Also this jacket drowns me now lmao

Five_X
February 19th, 2018, 04:25 PM
"Kinda" hot, is it

hmmmmph

Snow
February 19th, 2018, 05:22 PM
No, you!

Also this jacket drowns me now lmao

Looks amazing nonetheless!

https://i.imgur.com/9DPCCDV.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/tKUtSve.jpg

Strife ❤️
February 19th, 2018, 05:28 PM
stop this i feel gay

Kotonoha
February 19th, 2018, 06:06 PM
you are gay.gif

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 06:15 PM
Feeling a strong sense of belonging in this thread full of my fellow homosexuals.

Zurvan
February 19th, 2018, 06:22 PM
How do I get out

- - - Updated - - -

I dont remember this being camhoes

Spinach
February 19th, 2018, 06:26 PM
Every thread is camhos.

Historia
February 19th, 2018, 06:27 PM
nothing else going on

well its raining outside

Five_X
February 19th, 2018, 06:33 PM
How do I get out

- - - Updated - - -

I dont remember this being camhoes

You can check out any time you'd like, but you can, never leave.

Zurvan
February 19th, 2018, 06:40 PM
Challenge accepted

Historia
February 20th, 2018, 02:14 AM
three cheers for therapy -- it only took several years of being a stubborn asshole

mAc Chaos
February 20th, 2018, 07:00 AM
you made it fam

SpoonyViking
February 20th, 2018, 11:44 AM
"The best place to confirm/deny this would be in Len’s sex scene and no-one really wanted to go look at loli porn [...]"

This forum must have been so different, back in the day.

SeiKeo
February 20th, 2018, 11:59 AM
There used to be more questionable types, I hate to say

Dullahan
February 20th, 2018, 12:08 PM
There are still questionable types, if anything more of them

just the questions are different

the god of world-0
February 20th, 2018, 01:39 PM
the times change, just not really

the god of world-0
February 20th, 2018, 02:35 PM
so, my girlfriend just said something like this:

"i alredy take to baths to day, i am stuffed full, there is nothing to watch and i alredy played enough Overwatch to never walt to see d.va again in my life, and is just 4:30! how do you do this?"
seeing her so bored because she has to stay home, remembers why we work together in the first place.

Spinach
February 20th, 2018, 02:50 PM
We were better, way back when, I tell ya hwhat.

Snow
February 20th, 2018, 04:13 PM
It used to be better when Lace and Polly were around...

SpoonyViking
February 20th, 2018, 04:16 PM
There used to be more questionable types, I hate to say

Yikes.

Strife ❤️
February 20th, 2018, 04:29 PM
It used to be better when Lace and Polly were around...

It's time for the magical girl drawing.

Five_X
February 20th, 2018, 04:45 PM
It used to be better when Lace and Polly were around...

I don't recognise these names, I think you just made these people up.

Snow
February 20th, 2018, 04:49 PM
Too good for this degenerate place.

Zurvan
February 20th, 2018, 05:28 PM
Why did lace leave actually

SteelBeowulf
February 20th, 2018, 05:29 PM
We were better, way back when, I tell ya hwhat.

Kids these days, just don't appreciate the comfort and convenience provided by propane and propane accessories anymore

Cruor
February 20th, 2018, 05:32 PM
It used to be better when Lace and Polly were around...

did they leave D:

Snow
February 20th, 2018, 05:35 PM
They didn't leave, exactly. They're out living life.

SteelBeowulf
February 20th, 2018, 05:38 PM
so whoever they are, did left

Snow
February 20th, 2018, 05:45 PM
Out of love for me, they'd come back in a second!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_GcbZlDnns

the god of world-0
February 20th, 2018, 05:57 PM
does any one has tips on how to entertain a bored woman?

Snow
February 20th, 2018, 06:03 PM
EXO videos

Mooncake
February 20th, 2018, 06:26 PM
Is she holding down-back?

mAc Chaos
February 20th, 2018, 06:33 PM
Talk to her about things she likes.

Mcjon01
February 20th, 2018, 06:47 PM
Get her to talk about things she hates.

just Beamu
February 20th, 2018, 07:04 PM
Become the thing she likes

Five_X
February 20th, 2018, 08:55 PM
Become All Evils of the World.

hayate
February 20th, 2018, 09:23 PM
My good men, what girls actually need is a mixture of good and evil in one sentence.

a.k.a. gossip.

I never cease to wonder how ladies actually mix criticism and praise in one sentence. Even critics can't do that perfectly.

Kotonoha
February 20th, 2018, 09:43 PM
I never cease to wonder how ladies actually mix criticism and praise in one sentence.
thinking emoji

Canon
February 20th, 2018, 09:46 PM
My good men, what girls actually need is a mixture of good and evil in one sentence.

a.k.a. gossip.

I never cease to wonder how ladies actually mix criticism and praise in one sentence. Even critics can't do that perfectly.

Pls dont

Spinach
February 20th, 2018, 10:12 PM
Girls are sort of like cats.

Feed her and stroke her hair.

Mcjon01
February 21st, 2018, 12:27 AM
http://i.imgur.com/HfSHZug.jpg

mAc Chaos
February 21st, 2018, 02:49 AM
Fixed. Wise fwom yo gwave

Sunara
February 21st, 2018, 04:48 AM
I find it not very surprising that my store in this nowhere town still has "my bae" mugs leftover from v-day.... Had to explain it to my co-worker the other day.

the god of world-0
February 21st, 2018, 05:53 AM
who gives seriosly gives a mug with "my bae" to their girlfriend?

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 06:08 AM
Shockingly, the world doesn't consist entirely of people with girlfriends.

Strife ❤️
February 21st, 2018, 06:13 AM
Girls are sort of like cats.

Feed her and stroke her hair.

We got a real Girl expert over here.

the god of world-0
February 21st, 2018, 06:19 AM
Shockingly, the world doesn't consist entirely of people with girlfriends.

well, who seriosly gives a mug with "my bae" to someone who is NOT their girlfriend?

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 06:21 AM
People with boyfriends?

Also me to me.

the god of world-0
February 21st, 2018, 06:26 AM
People with boyfriends?

Also me to me.

i would actualy like to recive one.
maybe i can do like i used to do with my b-day's pressents when i was little and leave little hints around the house.

Saiga
February 21st, 2018, 07:10 AM
the times change, just not really

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Dullahan
February 21st, 2018, 10:58 AM
was out of town the other day. along the drainage channels that run perpendicular across the coastal plain. a seasonal canal hemmed in by two tall embankments which cut through unproductive cleared wetlands. can't grow anything, can't graze anything - useless for everything but rainfall capture. the land is nominally owned but there is nothing there. were it not for the main coastal road off in the far distance behind trees there would be no sound either. (a farm gate a few kilometres away and deeper inland displays a sign: ON THIS SPOT IN 1881, NOTHING HAPPENED. pastoralists have a certain sense of perspective) the top of the embankment is sandy and scored by weeds, thick dry grasses and wild melons. was up there and found a dead bird. magpie. unclear what had killed it, if anything, but it had been dead for a while. ants had stripped it to the bones, from the talons inward. what was left must have weighed barely two hundred grams. beak and head tucked in very neatly, little bundle of feathers. very clean, without even the smell of decay. just sitting idle on the sand between tufts of grass, waiting for the last and toughest remnants of the flesh to be eaten away so that the feathers could be scattered by a passing breeze. out across the wetlands. compared to this i imagine most people die in quite ugly, miserable ways - all viscera and phlegm. guts and foreign apparatuses. lots of ways to be cut down in the terrified flight from the grave. in the past to die gracefully was considered exceptional, leaving an inviolate corpse the mark of sainthood. dying half as well as that magpie would make you - perhaps not a saint - but at least, one of the lucky ones.

so i kicked it into the river. fuck magpies

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 01:49 PM
I was expecting a ghost story.

mAc Chaos
February 21st, 2018, 02:09 PM
Tell us a story, Snow.

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 02:36 PM
I don't have any scary ones thankfully. But I just found this podcast (https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/haunted?selected=PPY8038946818) today and it's really good.

Spinach
February 21st, 2018, 03:12 PM
We got a real Girl expert over here.

You know of my heroic exploits with females of the opposite gender.

- - - Updated - - -

But on a less cool note I hella slipped on some ice on the sidewalk and crashed on my butt

Aaaaaaaaa

- - - Updated - - -

In front of a girl

- - - Updated - - -

She laughed

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 03:20 PM
As she should.

Zurvan
February 21st, 2018, 03:21 PM
who wouldnt

the god of world-0
February 21st, 2018, 03:23 PM
she could honestly have thought you are cute
the gods know that i conquested my girlfriend by being kinda of socialy awkward

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 03:26 PM
I doubt she did though!

Personally I have only one emotion and it's schadenfreude.

the god of world-0
February 21st, 2018, 03:31 PM
a true story she just reminded me of, my girlfriend actualy thought i was mute for all the first week of college before we talk for the first time

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 03:42 PM
Fascinating.

the god of world-0
February 21st, 2018, 03:55 PM
i am just saying, if i can be so socialy inept to have someone think i am unable to talk, then get this someone to live with me and have my children, then you can find love! anyone can!
call me love warrior <3 world-0!

Zurvan
February 21st, 2018, 04:02 PM
uhm

no?

Snow
February 21st, 2018, 04:11 PM
https://i.imgur.com/Davpsy5.png

Historia
February 21st, 2018, 04:26 PM
girlfriends and boyfriends are overrated

being hero of justice is where its at

Nikiri
February 21st, 2018, 04:35 PM
Where do I sign the contract

the god of world-0
February 21st, 2018, 04:39 PM
you all need to feel the power of love
HAATO BEAMU!!!

Zurvan
February 21st, 2018, 04:44 PM
uhm

no?

.

Historia
February 21st, 2018, 04:57 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--ombqA70cI

yeass

Bird of Hermes
February 21st, 2018, 05:07 PM
girlfriends and boyfriends are overrated

being hero of justice is where its at
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/bth.gif

Spinach
February 21st, 2018, 06:03 PM
I'll have you know she did call me cute after I fell!

Bird of Hermes
February 21st, 2018, 06:15 PM
Silver linings Spinach...

Arashi_Leonhart
February 21st, 2018, 06:45 PM
I'll have you know she did call me cute after I fell!

yes, but does she call you cute when you're not falling

because then its just the dojiko part of you that's cute, not you yourself

Spinach
February 21st, 2018, 06:55 PM
yes, but does she call you cute when you're not falling

because then its just the dojiko part of you that's cute, not you yourself

Yeah

The fall probably just added more cute points by demonstrating my helpless idiocy and awakening maternal protective instincts

Zurvan
February 21st, 2018, 06:58 PM
nothing like a big man falling on his ass to swing those motherly instincts into high gear

wait that doesnt make sense

Laserman
February 21st, 2018, 06:59 PM
I like how the temperature changed where I live from near freezing to 78 degrees in like, 3 or 4 days. I hate it when it's hot outside, I want it to be cold again.

Mcjon01
February 21st, 2018, 07:44 PM
I have more of a long-burn strategy where instead of being overtly clumsy I’m just hopelessly incompetent in all areas of my life, personal and professional, while also communicating at a grade school level of emotional and linguistic complexity. No bites yet but someone’s sure to fall or it someday!

Five_X
February 21st, 2018, 08:40 PM
There's somebody for everybody, they say...

Express
February 21st, 2018, 08:59 PM
I'm drunk and bored

SleepMode
February 21st, 2018, 09:26 PM
I’m sleepy and bored

Sunara
February 22nd, 2018, 06:57 AM
I like how the temperature changed where I live from near freezing to 78 degrees in like, 3 or 4 days. I hate it when it's hot outside, I want it to be cold again.
It did the opposite here.... abnormally hot in Jan/Feb (prob close to that 78) to freezing.
On the plus, it means the volcanos didn't become active.

I3uster
February 22nd, 2018, 07:45 AM
I'll have you know she did call me cute after I fell!

now you have a girl around and you immediately fail to capitalize on the ol' slippin' johnny

Snow
February 22nd, 2018, 08:10 AM
Nothing sexier than a guy slipping on ice, falling and breaking at least three ribs.

Saiga
February 22nd, 2018, 08:24 AM
*takes notes*

where the fuck am i going to get ice in australia

Dullahan
February 22nd, 2018, 08:24 AM
try a shady-looking guy round the back of a pub

Saiga
February 22nd, 2018, 08:30 AM
thx will keep u posted

Mcjon01
February 22nd, 2018, 08:46 AM
Korean girl spent a good fifteen minutes yesterday cracking herself up over how Asian people can’t say Rs so agree sounds like ugly and she agrees I’m ugly

Now I’m worried I might just be getting catfished by Tobias

Snow
February 22nd, 2018, 09:05 AM
Is this the same girl that quasi-bullied you the other day?

Mcjon01
February 22nd, 2018, 09:10 AM
I mean, probably? I'm not sure what you're referring to exactly but I'll say it's not statistically unlikely.

Five_X
February 22nd, 2018, 09:12 AM
Did you ugly with her?

Snow
February 22nd, 2018, 09:13 AM
Something about carrying luggage.

Very dorama, overall!

Mcjon01
February 22nd, 2018, 09:15 AM
Something about carrying luggage.

Very dorama, overall!

Oh, yeah, that's the one then

Trying to reach peak Dorama

Laserman
February 22nd, 2018, 10:01 AM
It did the opposite here.... abnormally hot in Jan/Feb (prob close to that 78) to freezing.
On the plus, it means the volcanos didn't become active.
Apparently, it was so hot that it broke temperature records. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/capital-weather-gang/wp/2018/02/21/this-weird-february-heat-dome-on-the-east-coast-could-be-unprecedented/?utm_term=.28ab34ff0bff) Thankfully, things have cooled down now. :cool:

Spinach
February 22nd, 2018, 10:06 AM
now you have a girl around and you immediately fail to capitalize on the ol' slippin' johnny

How is this claim gonna look

How do I convince Geico that me slipping on ice while taking a walk was a vehicular incident that my plan covers

Also the spot I landed on my shoulder is turning yellow and lifting my arm above my head causes a lot of pain, I'm clannadman now

I3uster
February 22nd, 2018, 10:27 AM
you lacked the presence of mind to swerve into a vehicle

probably because you were distracted

Spinach
February 22nd, 2018, 10:32 AM
There were no vehicles. I'm never too distracted to optimize my slip

I3uster
February 22nd, 2018, 10:55 AM
sasuga slippin johnny.......

Spinach
February 22nd, 2018, 10:58 AM
I introduced myself as Jonathan recently and got called John

I'm Ryan please

Mcjon01
February 22nd, 2018, 11:00 AM
I'm okay with people calling me Jon, but never John

Five_X
February 22nd, 2018, 11:03 AM
Nice couple of Johans we got here.

Spinach
February 22nd, 2018, 02:49 PM
My shoulder hurts

Where's my cockroach wife

the god of world-0
February 22nd, 2018, 03:46 PM
maybe i should stop dabbing all the time

Five_X
February 22nd, 2018, 03:50 PM
Christemo I thought we banned you.

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Mods???

Arashi_Leonhart
February 22nd, 2018, 04:21 PM
you rang

Spinach
February 22nd, 2018, 09:02 PM
I dab with every post.

just Beamu
February 22nd, 2018, 09:47 PM
Still getting used to being called Catherine by friends

Draconic
February 23rd, 2018, 03:51 AM
I thought Christemo had better grammar? But then, I only ever see him in old posts.

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^
How To State The Obvious 101

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I dab with every post.
What makes dabbing so obnoxious? This was never explained to me.

However, as your avatar is Tamamo dabbing, you've basically got a get out of jail free card with an infinite number of uses.

Historia
February 23rd, 2018, 03:52 AM
who's christemo

Draconic
February 23rd, 2018, 04:00 AM
Honestly? I've met the guy once in IRC, or maybe it was in a Twitch chat. And I still don't know.

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Maybe it's just the late hour, but I lie to think of him as a ti-dyed zebra with an AK-47 loaded to bursting with strawberry jello.

And this is precisely the reason I feel like I get monumentally dumber between the hours of 1:00 and 8:00 am. I just don't know whether it's a medication thing or just sleep deprivation.

Saiga
February 23rd, 2018, 10:10 AM
trying to brush my teeth after a night of drinking

spit toothpaste on my headphone cord

spit toothpaste just short of the sink

spit toothpaste just clear of the sink

i literally cant get anything right

Five_X
February 23rd, 2018, 10:38 AM
Don't spit, swallow.

Dullahan
February 23rd, 2018, 10:39 AM
how much did you drink that you can't hit the sink jesus christ

Snow
February 23rd, 2018, 10:39 AM
Don't fucking swallow toothpaste jesus christ

Mcjon01
February 23rd, 2018, 11:01 AM
A little fluoride never hurt anybody

Five_X
February 23rd, 2018, 11:26 AM
Or even, what distance are you trying to spit from, I'm pretty sure this isn't an Olympic competition

yet

Mcjon01
February 23rd, 2018, 11:27 AM
I mean, I hate to state the obvious but, the wrong distance

Clearly

Judging from the headphone cord thing I'm not even entirely sure he started in the right room

Mcjon01
February 23rd, 2018, 12:22 PM
So if I sent a midnight drunk text that said "Yo let's get wasted this weekend" and got an immediate response that said "Hellz to the yes bizznitch" that's a good sign, right? I promise I'm not shitposting, I just don't understand people talkings so I'm relying on you guys to interpret for me.

Zurvan
February 23rd, 2018, 12:23 PM
you're good

but now you do have to go out and socialize, and maybe decide where to go

Snow
February 23rd, 2018, 12:30 PM
migooksaram oppa hwaiting

Mcjon01
February 23rd, 2018, 12:38 PM
I mean, I'm not an expert on the nuances of oppa but she's older than me by like a year
I'm about two and a half times larger than her if that matters though (are human relationships determined by gross biomass?)

Snow
February 23rd, 2018, 12:47 PM
I'm pretty sure some girls call their bfs oppa regardless of age dynamics so you can always gun for that

btw Heize teased new stuff (https://omonatheydidnt.livejournal.com/21976483.html), impress her with your relevant cultural knowledge

Zurvan
February 23rd, 2018, 12:52 PM
I'm about two and a half times larger than her if that matters though (are human relationships determined by gross biomass?)

quite often yes

Arashi_Leonhart
February 23rd, 2018, 01:59 PM
I mean, I'm not an expert on the nuances of oppa but she's older than me by like a year
I'm about two and a half times larger than her if that matters though (are human relationships determined by gross biomass?)

going by their neighbor's entertainment's dynamics

Illya calls Shirou onii-chan

so

the god of world-0
February 23rd, 2018, 02:25 PM
is ain't the human value of apparence over fact interesting?

Saiga
February 23rd, 2018, 06:37 PM
how much did you drink that you can't hit the sink jesus christ

they had these 500ml glasses of beer and work was paying for it

so enough that i can't hit the sink


Or even, what distance are you trying to spit from, I'm pretty sure this isn't an Olympic competition

yet

i'm tall and my sink is low

and i thought i had this


I mean, I hate to state the obvious but, the wrong distance

Clearly

Judging from the headphone cord thing I'm not even entirely sure he started in the right room

no see I was WEARING my headphones and as i leaned forward they drooped into the firing path

the god of world-0
February 23rd, 2018, 06:53 PM
you need to buy one of those musical toothbrushes, then you won't need the headphones anymore

Laserman
February 24th, 2018, 01:36 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBzJwJupO0s

Historia
February 24th, 2018, 03:25 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIVxs9KGfgM

14 years ago...

Shiki
February 24th, 2018, 03:41 AM
7th dimension is those Umineko and Higurashi series right?

Historia
February 24th, 2018, 02:24 PM
SHADOWS - formed from the disbanded FACT


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ60PFwt-hc

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if i ever continued with my art, i think i would've focused on creating album covers for bands

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oh and there's also the band noisemaker.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGf0l1CkP2c

dunno, something about japanese bands singing rock in english gets me

Skull
February 24th, 2018, 04:05 PM
7th dimension is those Umineko and Higurashi series right?
"07th Expansion" is the group that created both the Higurashi and Umineko franchises among others.

the god of world-0
February 24th, 2018, 05:41 PM
I am really struggling
I know my mom taught me to not hold negative fellings against those who are constatly part of my life and my grandma raise me to be polite even to people who i not agree, especialy if they are older and hold more influence then me, and i value this teachings because they saved my ass several times.
But i can take it, i really hate my aunt and her traditionalism bullshit. I mean, what if me and my girlfriend dont plan in marry right now, no one should care, you dont need to fucking call and talk my ear off for a whole fucking hour.
I am so pissed

Snow
February 24th, 2018, 05:48 PM
You are perfectly entitled to tell, in those exact words or whatever other form, people who want to tell you how to do your shit and live your private life to go fuck themselves.

I'm a mod so you know I'm right about this and speak with maximum authority.

the god of world-0
February 24th, 2018, 05:57 PM
You dont worry, the moment she started to talk about how is wrong that my girlfriend earns more money then me i hung up on her face.
My mom actualy called after to give the whole "i am scolding you because its my job, but i am actualy proud of you right now"

Draconic
February 24th, 2018, 07:10 PM
The point is that she's disrespecting your girlfriend presumably by suggesting that she doesn't deserve to make more money than you. Personally I feel as though it's entirely possible that she might have a point, but taking the time to call a relative just to tell them to be ashamed of themselves isn't okay by any margin either, so even if she were right, her method for going about solving the problem is wrong. How often do you even see her that she feels it's her business to talk about how much money your girlfriend is earning?

the god of world-0
February 24th, 2018, 09:36 PM
Very often, my family is the type that gets together at least bi-weekly.
The case of me earning less money: when weaknesses decided to move together, me and my girlfriend thought it would be better if one of us to spend more time at home to cook and clean (and now to take care of the baby who is coming),it was something that we decided together and we even re-discused one time but choose to keep like that. It's a system that work, we joke that i am a amazing housewife, but apparently man's cannot be that.

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But in the end, it has pass. "you can stay mad at family forever" my grandma says, and she is right as always.

Historia
February 25th, 2018, 02:20 AM
So are queens just lazy housewives.

What about princesses...

Shiki
February 25th, 2018, 05:29 AM
well.. on my opinion i guess it varies on each of families' culture. But to be honest, there is nothing wrong with it, having your girlfriend earn more compare to you. You can just make it as a constructive thing and use that to boost your morale to do more to impress people around you.

Snow
February 25th, 2018, 06:32 AM
Oh but what if

it doesn't actually have anything to do with anything?

Yeah I know I'm silly, implying that amount of money made doesn't indicate value, that marriage is a partnership of equals, and that obsession with men being the breadwinners is degenerate and people who actually believe this are the lowest lifeform surpassed by bacteria and the common mold.

Mcjon01
February 25th, 2018, 07:01 AM
You should both make more money than each other so that together you have all the money

Shiki
February 25th, 2018, 07:05 AM
well life is tough

Snow
February 25th, 2018, 07:06 AM
Watch the olympic closing ceremony losers

Dullahan
February 25th, 2018, 08:31 AM
roses are red
violets are blue
technology is enslaving most of humanity for the benefit of an increasingly rarefied power elite and the only consolation is that even this process is the mere epiphenomenon of an alien order of time infiltrating from out of the future in order to devour flesh and mind toward its own blind-idiot aims
apocalypse now, avoid the rush

Snow
February 25th, 2018, 08:53 AM
I'm so glad you all finally got to meet my husband :')

Mcjon01
February 25th, 2018, 11:44 AM
So I'm afraid I may have accidentally triggered an office feud over Line today but since I didn't actually do anything wrong it will probably just blow over and I won't have to deal with any lingering repercussions from my actions, right? It's somebody else's problem, right?

Dullahan
February 25th, 2018, 12:04 PM
Next time, on Everybody Loves Mcjon--

the god of world-0
February 25th, 2018, 12:07 PM
Line?
Was it worth it?

Mcjon01
February 25th, 2018, 12:15 PM
Next time, on Everybody Loves Mcjon--

Well don't leave me hanging, out with the spoilers already

Five_X
February 25th, 2018, 12:15 PM
Next time, on Everybody Loves Mcjon--

No, no, it's "Whose LINE is it Anyway"

Shiki
February 25th, 2018, 12:39 PM
You guys using LINE over there?

GundamFSN
February 25th, 2018, 12:58 PM
LINE is like popular in Japan.

Speaking of LINE, actually kinda shocked that Korea peeps used Kakao Talk over LINE.

the god of world-0
February 25th, 2018, 01:49 PM
I want fries.
Does anyone want fries?

Vacha
February 25th, 2018, 01:49 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4r5ckveXD8

Nikiri
February 25th, 2018, 01:53 PM
everyday i want some fries

Zurvan
February 25th, 2018, 02:05 PM
https://media1.tenor.com/images/725cbba67eeda04bef128e165b0f568c/tenor.gif?itemid=5273189

Laserman
February 25th, 2018, 03:27 PM
A church is one of the most boring places on the planet.

Zurvan
February 25th, 2018, 03:29 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDDoqAksEn0

I disagree

Laserman
February 25th, 2018, 04:13 PM
Oh no, it is. It really is. Going there is a legitimate punishment.

Arashi_Leonhart
February 25th, 2018, 06:04 PM
inb4 Strife comes in and demonstrates that you've just been to the wrong Churches and shows pictures of Westminster or something

Strife ❤️
February 25th, 2018, 06:13 PM
God damn it, I actually read that post and immediately thought that but I didn't want to be that person

- - - Updated - - -

But, since I've been so called out, I'll do it anyway.

You're just doing it wrong.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CuW6JNMW8AQa905.jpg:large

Arashi_Leonhart
February 25th, 2018, 06:29 PM
I mean what does it say that you have me pre-programmed to think the same too

Historia
February 25th, 2018, 10:34 PM
my dog might be okay, or she might be dying - won't know until tomorrow, hopefully

either way, she's still my little princess

Saiga
February 26th, 2018, 05:25 AM
Wish you and doggo the best

Shiki
February 26th, 2018, 06:22 AM
my shit stinks

SpoonyViking
February 26th, 2018, 08:25 AM
...No shit?

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my dog might be okay, or she might be dying - won't know until tomorrow, hopefully

either way, she's still my little princess

Best of luck, man!

Frostyvale
February 26th, 2018, 01:31 PM
Imagine a single cell looking for glucose to bump against, in hopes of eventually becoming two. Then four. Then eight. Now imagine being a single cell in a sterile dish, chugging along until the sugar runs out and all attempts at homeostasis are met with a sad shrug of the proteins and a little twitch on the inside as more and more mass is broken down to provide energy until there isn't enough and the outside comes in. Proteins break down, lipids dissolve away, and the whole thing becomes another smudge of organic molecules awaiting further decomposition..

Just another day in the war without end.

- - - Updated - - -

In other news, a cat I was fond of died of old age.

the god of world-0
February 26th, 2018, 01:40 PM
May they rest in peace

Frostyvale
February 26th, 2018, 01:42 PM
It was a good cat. And now it's nothing.

Zurvan
February 26th, 2018, 01:46 PM
Well, not really nothing

eventually something will reform from its residu, cycles and all that

the god of world-0
February 26th, 2018, 02:09 PM
This kinda reminds me of one time, when i was 15 or 16 i dont really remember, it was very early in the morning but i was awoke because i spend the night playing games, suddenly my phone rings. It was my aunt, she says "can you please get your cousin at school, i get there fast enough". I asked "what happen?" and she anwsered "one of her friends died, she is in a state of shock". I dida not even think about the fact that i was, at the time, a emotionaly instable shut-in, i run towards the school as fast as i could.
When i got there, the sense of grief in the air was overwelming. On the entry right after the gate, teens and teachers wore crying and consoling each other. My cousin was a little bit afar, curl up.when i reached her, she leach on to me and started sobbing very hard. She was 13 at the time, i dont think she had yet experinced such a personal lost. On our way out, she keep repeating the late girl's name like she expected someone to awnser.
I cried for the first time in months, i din't even knew the girl, but i cried for her

Frostyvale
February 26th, 2018, 02:13 PM
You're a bitch lol

the god of world-0
February 26th, 2018, 02:17 PM
Dont fuck with me.
I have the power of god and anime at my side.

Frostyvale
February 26th, 2018, 02:26 PM
In this world, there is no such thing as God. If there were such a being, you would have to call it a devil.

Shall we say, an existence X.

the god of world-0
February 26th, 2018, 02:30 PM
I am a god
but if that makes you happy, you can call me a devil

Frostyvale
February 26th, 2018, 02:35 PM
Whatever you say weirdo.

Snow
February 26th, 2018, 02:37 PM
You're a bitch lol
https://i.imgur.com/2JReGOy.jpg

Historia
February 26th, 2018, 02:43 PM
you're all bitches

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and my dog is... okay...

Zurvan
February 26th, 2018, 02:58 PM
Hooray for doggo

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In this world, there is no such thing as God. If there were such a being, you would have to call it a devil.

Shall we say, an existence X.

https://orig00.deviantart.net/8dab/f/2017/304/b/8/youjo_senki__tanya_degurechaff__with_speedpaint__b y_tomatenpflanze-dbsb3js.jpg

Historia
February 26th, 2018, 03:18 PM
youjo senki is bad

get out

Zurvan
February 26th, 2018, 03:23 PM
Want to go out together?

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all anime is bad

Shiki
February 27th, 2018, 03:12 AM
that reminds me of chuuni

Express
February 27th, 2018, 03:31 AM
Youjo Senki LN is okay.
Less fishlips and more military tactics simulator with some fedoracore thrown in
Fight me

Frostyvale
February 27th, 2018, 04:18 AM
Ah, i see you're a man of culture as well.

Walnut Sparks
February 27th, 2018, 09:50 AM
I'm on my second day of an e-mail conversation with a customer service representative who keeps finding creative ways to not answer the question "Is this item available in my size?"

Sunara
February 27th, 2018, 07:17 PM
Probably at this point, the answer is most likely "no"....