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Tangerang
April 1st, 2011, 03:04 PM
Currently, I am hugging my knees in the corner of the room, fearing for my life.

Wait, let me introduce myself first.

I’m Emiya Shirou, a person who was wrongly placed in Class F. After all, Class F was the class for the very worst students in this school, so there’s no way I could be there, right? Since there’s no way I’m an idiot like the rest of these guys.

“You’re the biggest idiot of them all”

“AAAH, THAT BURNS! WHO THE HELL JUST SAID SOMETHING WHICH CUT ME DOWN TO MY VERY SOUL!?”

I immediately jump to my feet, only for my face to meet a fist on the way up. Too bad for you, but my reactions are the best! There’s no way such a slow attack can hit me! I gracefully twirl to the side and dodge the punch. Shiki gives me a bored look as he immediately brings his knee up.

“GEH!?”

That’s…that’s cheap! A cheap shot! I collapse almost instantaneously, with tears streaming down my eyes.

“That’s for losing the Class A war.”

“What are you saying, wasn’t it Shiki’s crappy plan that totally got outwitted by Kohaku the reason we los- AARGH, HOW CAN YOU AS A MAN AIM KICK AT THoSE KIND OF SPOTS!? HAVE YOU NO PRIDE!”

“If you raise your voice too much, she’ll hear.”

I immediately bite my lips shut, and after waiting a few heartbeats, cautiously glance up. There, in the opposite corner of the room, is the student Aozaki Aoko. Well, that’s not a problem in itself, the problem is what she’s holding.

“Oh Alice, how I missed you so”

‘…Bazooka!?’

I still haven’t forgotten the first day of class where she almost sent me to the afterlife with that bazooka of hers. But the teachers should have confiscated it. Don’t tell me she has multiple bazookas!? And wait, she names them?

“There’s a rumor going around that she broke into the school armed with an entire belt of grenades and other explosives and stole her bazooka back,” Shiki whispered.

I’m not sure which of those two possibilities is more ridiculous.

As if drawn by our conversation, she suddenly looks over at the two of us and begins walking over, with her bazooka ready and armed. WAIT A SECOND, WHY ISN’T ANYBODY DOING ANYTHING? TEACHER, SURELY THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY RIGHT?

“Nyaa, she hasn’t done anything against the rules yet.”

BAZOOKAS AREN’T AGAINST THE RULES?

Aoko glared at us and pointed the bazooka directly at our, or rather my face. Now this is a familiar situation… hey wait this isn’t the time to be getting comfortable here!

“I can tell exactly what you’re thinking right now.”

OH GOD I’M GOING TO DIE, I’M GOING TO DIE, I’M GOING TO DIE, SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEE!

“You dirty boy” there was a small red blush on Aoko’s cheeks.

I’M GOING TO DIE I’M GOING TO huh? What the hell?

*click*

The bazooka is readied.

Crap. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my other classmate Saber approaching. Oh good, is she going to help me? Wait, her eyes changed the instant Aoko said ‘you dirty boy’. No, you don’t believe her, do you? Why are your eyes telling me to ‘drop dead?’

I look around at my other clas-





What?

Ryougi, can you please tell me why you just tore down all of creation and destroyed the entire universe?

I wanted to make a point about powerlevels.

A point.

That’s right.

About powerlevels.

Yup.

You annihilated all of existence for a reason like that!?

Why not?



Hey, power levels are serious business.

This is going to be such a pain to fix. Did you even consider that!?

Your problem, not mine.

*Sigh* I guess I’d best get to work then.

Tell me when you’re finished~

You’re such a pain sometimes, you know that?

Whatever.

Ace
April 1st, 2011, 09:51 PM
I lawled. Shirou as a Kyon-esque narrator is just awesome and I love the comment on power levels. THAT'S RIGHT RYOUGI CAN KILL THE UNIVERSE, WHAT NOW?!

Also why does Aoko have a bazooka?

Tangerang
April 2nd, 2011, 01:58 PM
It's sort of based off another fic, Baka Academy.

Which may or may not show up again?

Certis Baliano
April 2nd, 2011, 03:27 PM
Which may or may not show up again?

Do want. The hijinks in it were hilarious.

I especially loved Shinji's visit to the psychiatrist.

RanmaBushiko
April 2nd, 2011, 03:32 PM
Would be nice, I have no clue what the heck is currently going on, plot-wise...

Tangerang
April 2nd, 2011, 05:16 PM
Well, atm my computer's pretty busted, so I couldn't bring it over even if I wanted.

It was basically due to me considering either a short for BA or ES, or maybe both. I was going to do one for ES after this, but then due to various things I decided not to.

Wonder who's fault that is. jk.

Mereo Flere
April 2nd, 2011, 08:14 PM
You're missing some periods here and there, and the "o" in "THoSE" looks a little lonely, but it made me laugh.

Oh, Ryougi, you're so silly.