View Full Version : 2014 Fanfic Contest Entries - Unlikely Pairing/Romance

March 4th, 2014, 11:07 AM
Due to the short amount of each of this fics I'm going to group them together into one, don't worry the judges will know which category the fics belong to.

March 4th, 2014, 11:44 AM
Getting Some Action (Romance)

“T-Twice H. Pieceman! I’m almost done!” I call, my voice muffled by the walls of the changing stall. I hope he can hear me in here... and I hope he likes my new bikini, too.

Slipping the bottom half up, I take in a deep breath. I might be blushing a bit, but I’ll try to keep my cool in front of Twice H. Pieceman.

So, I step out of the changing room, just one foot at first and trying to keep my body from being visible. He’s probably looking over at me right now so there’s no point in hiding it, but... I’m a little embarrassed! I feel the cool sea breeze on my skin, and close my eyes. It’s all or nothing, so I brazenly step out onto the beach, in full view of Twice H. Pieceman.

...luckily, there’s no one else here today.

-- --

"Kay, hon," I call back. Months, and she's still skittish like this... not that I'm saying of course that she should change in front of me or something like that: that would be a bit much. But, I can't find it anything other than
amusing that she's still like a teenager on her first date.

A sea breeze rolls in, ruffling my hair as I lie on the beach. I just let it wash over my body, eyes closed, letting my other senses take over. A tinge of salt to smell in the air, warm sand under the towel, and a crunch of feet
on a beach - there we are. Opening my eyes, I turn slightly to the side, stretching out a hand to wave.

It's a pretty pathetic wave, my mind suddenly focused on other things. Her new suit is a brilliant scarlet red, providing a contrast to her pale skin. Normally, it would be too bright of a color to wear without it being overwhelming, but it was offset by the fact, that, well... there isn't that much of it. The bottom is a slim two pieces of fabric, joined by strings, while the top is... not full coverage. Cups the size of medallions kept
everything in its place, but let you see most of it.

"...You look nice?" is my weak response.

-- --

I flash him a big, bright smile, waving back at him. “Thanks, Twice H. Pieceman! I wasn’t sure if you’d like it when I picked it out, but... it’s nice that it looks good on me!” I stretch my arms up high, ready for a nice day alone at the beach with my husband. It’s good to get away from things like this.

Raising a hand just above my eyes to block the sun from glaring too harshly at me, I make my way over to Twice H. Pieceman, gently walking over the hot sand, feeling it slip between my toes and squish under my bare feet. It’s a really nice day out, and I’m glad we came out here. Of course, it wasn’t cheap - this was a big thing for us, going all the way to Corsica for a holiday. Fortunately, Twice H. Pieceman managed to make the funds
pull through.

Twice H. Pieceman’s set out some towels already, and he’s lying on one, maybe trying to get a tan or something. I slip a few locks of hair behind my ear, winking at Twice H. Pieceman, and sit down on the blue towel right beside him. I’m cross-legged, not being quite as casual as him.

“Ah... the water looks really nice from here, doesn’t it?” I turn to Twice H. Pieceman and ask, putting on a pair of sunglasses so that I can look out at the sea. “It really is a nice time for just laying around... maybe when the tide gets a bit higher and there’s more wet sand, we can build a sandcastle!” I wrap my arms around Twice H.
Pieceman’s neck, pulling him up and hugging him tight to my chest.

-- --

She reaches around, suddenly grabbing me and pulling me towards her. She's warm, like she usually is: glowing with inexplicable energy and heat, the second sun on the beach.

..without a doubt, she's getting to me - that was far too romantic than it had any right to be. Carefully working my shoulder, trying to not disturb her too much, I move my arm out from between us, placing it on her back.

"Sandcastles never worked for me - always had an instinct to fall over right when I was finishing off a turret. Besides, I don't remember bringing anything like buckets to use..."

I let my voice trail off. To be honest, I wouldn't know anyways if we had it: she was the reason I knew where anything was and what we were supposed to be doing. She seemed to take it on to herself, to save me from my absent-mindedness.


No buckets? “Hm... there should be some in the car. But, something like that we can do later, once the sun starts to wane and we haven’t got anything else to do.” I take in a deep breath, enjoying the salty air. It reminds me a lot of my old home on Vancouver Island, with the same kind of smells, the same feel to it. It’s nice.

“Well, for one, how about the food? You carried the baskets out, didn’t you?” I let go of him, letting my arms slide against his soft, warm skin.

-- --

I put a light touch on her hands as they trail across me. "Yeah, I left the food in the shade back there," I say, gesturing to the treeline. Stretching to my feet, I raise myself off the blanket.

A few minutes later, I walk back, an extra blanket atop the basket for extra room. Sitting back down, a quick
flip of the basket’s lid revealed its contents.

Caster was all too often the cook in our relationship: something about it seemed to please her, just like a lot of things that one wouldn’t think made you happy to do all the time. But of course, that was not to say that I was any slouch: I still cooked from time to time, including now.

The main contents of the basket are two tall cylinders, maybe ten inches high, each made up of three separate chambers, and all locked together by the handle arrangement - tiffins, a remnant of the old British Empire in Asia. A quick flick of a lever on the side of each one released the catch, opening up the three compartments.

Divided among the separate compartments, each tiffin contained a clear broth, rice, and a lukewarm serving of chicken.

Slightly staggering in its simplicity, the dish originates from the southern parts of China. Boil a whole chicken, then utilize the resulting stock as both a soup and as the liquid in which you cook your rice. Add dark soy sauce
and chilli as a finishing touch to taste, and there you were.

Accompanying the personal containers is a collection of various other sides: cold sliced cucumber, traditionally to offset the spice of the chillis, some slices of flatbread, and fruits I had picked up at a local market.
Producing chopsticks from a side pocket in the basket, I gave them a little flourish, handing them to Caster. “Go for it.”


“Uh... Twice H. Pieceman?” I glance down awkwardly at the strange wooden implements he’s giving to me. “I... er, can’t really use these, y’know. I abhor such non-cutlerian methods of eating.”

I puff out my chest a little, pouting.

-- --

I give her a very minor version of the evil eye - more of a slightly-immoral eye. “So uncultured, Caster - however will you get along without knowing how half the world eats?” I teased. “Well, I didn’t bring anything more conventional, but, this’ll work regardless.” My hand assumes the chopstick position, gripping the rods in harmony. Then, I reach across the blanket, taking a piece of chicken from her tiffin, and bringing it up towards her chin.


Fufufu, I knew he’d have to resort to this.

“Aaahhn!” I open my mouth wide, and let Twice H. Pieceman place the bit of chicken in my mouth, closing my eyes and smiling as I chew. It tastes nice, but the flavour of my cooking isn’t why we’re out here. This is a nice outing for the two of us, time to spend just alone with my husband.

My fox ears - perhaps the most outwardly notable part of me - twitch as Twice H. Pieceman slips the food gently into my mouth. Here, where we’re all alone, I can stop hiding them under a hat and let them feel the cool air. They’re definitely very sensitive, though, and I have to take care not to be too rough with them. Fortunately, they rarely get me into trouble or anything.

I let Twice H. Pieceman feed me, and we alternate between him eating and me calmly accepting the food
gripped by the end of his chopsticks, casually enjoying our meal.

It’s true - I’m definitely what you’d call a “housewife” and I do my best to dutifully attend to my husband: I clean, cook, do the laundry, and make sure everyone in our house is happy. But at the same time, I don’t let that define who I am, and I definitely have a personality beyond a happy wife, as Twice H. Pieceman knows all too well by now.

-- --

We continue on the beach, listening to the surf come in as we work through the food - a bit slowly, considering it’s one person feeding two, but I get the impression that neither of us is amazingly hungry in any case. Finishing with the chicken, we start on the soup, which is much easier - after all, you don’t need anything to drink soup.

A while later, I wonder where the heck the food went: I didn’t think we were eating at that rate. But, upon realizing that we had in fact decimated the entire basket, I reached out, rubbing her belly softly.

“I should stop cooking: looks like you’ll get fat if I do this anymore!”


“F-fat!?” I almost pull back when he says that. “Y-you’d love a chubby girl, too, right?” My lips curl into a frown, and I rest one hand on Twice H. Pieceman’s as he rubs my belly; he feels warm, and comforting, and I like being around him for this.

Of course, he does say things like this sometimes...

-- --

I grin. “I could probably still find it in me to love you, but it’d be so much harder to suddenly grab you and pull you over like this-!”
At that, I snake my hand on her stomach to meet up with my other hand coming around her back, and grab her. My arms tighten around her waist, making sure she can’t wriggle free. Quickly, I flop backwards, using my weight advantage to carry her with me, leaving us laying on the blanket, her on my chest with me still grasping her.


Twice H. Pieceman’s being way more aggressive than usual!

I gasp and find myself on top of him, his arms tight around me and preventing me from getting up or moving about. I really didn’t think it was in him to act like this, but if he’s going to have a bit of a change of heart, then maybe...

I tilt my head to look up at him, my sunglasses hanging loosely from my face. Giving him a subtle wink, I press my lips to his pecs, drawing them oh so gently across his skin, since I can’t use my hands for much. A light flick of my tongue touches his nipple, and I grin mischievously. I bet he can feel my hot breath on him, and I know I feel his chest rising up and down, losing its normal rhythm. It almost makes me just want to lay here on top of him.

Ah, why not. I love the guy, and it’s too much to tease him. Taking in one deep breath I lay my head on its side, resting on his chest peacefully. I’m fine like this, and I let his muscled arms hold me while we just lay here in the sun.

-- --

As she gently kisses my chest, a small layer of cloud leaves its previous position over the sun, drenching the beach in new light.

Wait, that reminds me... “Caster, did you remember sunscreen? Wouldn’t want your back to be your name.”


“Ohoho, very funny, Twice H. Pieceman.” I stick out my tongue, looking up at him. “But yeah, I think there should be a bottle of suntan lotion or something in the bags over there.” I nod, indicating the colourful duffle bag holding our stuff.

“So, should I get it, or are you-?” He nods, and says I ought to get up.

I blink. “Well, then, let me go~!” I wriggle about, side to side, my breasts squishing against his stomach. Eventually he releases his vice-grip, patting me on the head as I rise up, wobbling, to my feet. The suntan lotion should be right around where I put it, in a side pocket of the duffle bag.

The bag isn’t too far away, and I unzip a few of its pockets and start to rifle around, kneeling over. Eventually I feel a cool bottle just a bit bigger than my hand; it’s an off-white colour and has a small push-down tap at the top to dispense lotion. I toss it over to Twice H. Pieceman, and lay down on my back on my own blue towel.

Closing my eyes I hum a little, and wait for Twice H. Pieceman to say something, or do something. My legs wave a bit in the air, and I enjoy the simplicity of this setting, hearing the sounds of nature untouched by humanity’s modern noise.

-- --

I stare at the bottle and her body for a few seconds. She wants me to...

...sure, okay. “Gotta do it for you, do I?” That said, I take hold of her shoulders, gently rolling her over on the blanket to face down. A few tweaks of the hand, and her bikini top came untied, giving me access to her smooth back.

I shift my weight, bringing a knee over her body so that I straddle her, above her thighs. Picking up the bottle, I give it a squeeze, spilling cool lotion into my hand. Spreading it across my palms, I carefully lay hands to her back, rubbing it into her skin, starting from the small of her back.

I work in strokes, each time starting my stroke higher up on her back, like kneading a piece of bread. Luckily,
I’d... picked up a bit of massage technique, although I’d tried to suppress it.


A cold shiver runs through my body as soon as I feel the touch of Twice H. Pieceman’s wet fingers on my back.

“Ah, it... it feels good, Twice H. Pieceman, keep going!” I nod twice, urging him onwards. Soon enough my back is feeling slick and smooth, the coolness almost besting the heat of the day. Of course, each time a small gust of wind blows in, goosebumps pop up on my skin, but it’s a small sacrifice. Twice H. Pieceman’s actually really good at this; I’m surprised.

-- --

I oblige her, and continue to work my hands over her. Her back properly finished, I move my hands each out to their side, covering her flanks... with a movement just designed so that my fingertips barely brushed the sides of her breasts. I spend a few minutes there, rubbing the lotion in while making sure to tease per stroke.

Now satisfied with her upper body, I turn myself in place to face her feet, and repeated the process, running down her legs. The direction was reversed, though: I started on her shins and worked my way towards me. Slowly, my hands creep back, running along her inner thighs. They reach the bottom of her swimsuit... and go a bit beyond it, reaching under to cover a bit of her previously-vulnerable behind. “Can’t risk a burn from a slip, can we?” I say, by way of explanation.


“T-Twice H. Pieceman!!” I feel his cold fingers grace my... w-well, my bottom. Butt. Ass. You know, that place. Is this his kind of joke? I... I’m not really sure what to think. My eyes snap open, my sunglasses almost falling off of my face.

“P-please, Twice H. Pieceman, too lewd! S-stop it, and put the lotion on me~!” I wonder what made him do that... but then I remember that we’re all alone on this beach, with no one to bother us...

-- --

“Here, let me do your front.” Tying her top back together, I get back up to allow her to roll over: After all, you can get sunburnt anywhere.

Once on her back, I place her glasses back on her face, keeping the sun from blazing into her eyes. This time, I start from the head: kneeling so that I again look towards her feet, I began to lotion her shoulders, another burn-prone spot. I move my hands to her neck, rubbing in circular strokes. And on one...


I reach a bit too far, and manage to grab her bikini strap, pulling it up towards her neck - off her chest.


A flash of red crosses my cheeks as I realize what’s just happened. It becomes even more apparent when one of Twice H. Pieceman’s hands pulls back, brushing against m-my nipple.

“Twice H. Pieceman, a-are you...” My voice trails off; I’m not even sure how to react. Is this right? Honestly, I’m paralyzed here, wondering if we should even be doing this.

I cross my arms over my breasts, hiding them with my hands but making sure not to touch the skin, since I don’t want the lotion to get messed up and everywhere; that would be messy.

-- --

I lean farther over her, bringing my face close to hers, hands still on her shoulders. “Am I? What...”

In the middle of my sentence, I move my hands down, stroking under her slightly-lifted arms and back onto her chest. Casually, I start massaging them, giving her nipples the occasional flick with my thumb. “..am I, Caster? Good guy...”

I move even closer to her, our faces almost touching. “...bad guy?”


“B-bad guy?” What’s he getting at, here? He’s... he’s being really forward, and I know what he wants, but what is he trying to talk about?

His thumbs rub my nipples; his hands can’t fit around the entirety of my breasts, but he’s definitely still squeezing and kneading at them, and I can feel his warm breath on my cheek, smelling of gently flavoured spices.

-- --

“Well, I don’t know, am I one?” I asked, moving my face past hers to settle near her ear. “See... I know they tell you to know thyself, but I have a bit of a problem: I’m not too good at that. I trust other peoples’ judgement of me. So... am I a good guy, or not?”

The question is punctuated with a light nip to the top of her ear, continuing the tease. This was... almost dreadfully fun, seeing her at a loss for once.


It’s weird, seeing Twice H. Pieceman like this, being so teasing and mean... but as unusual as it is, I think I kind of like it. It’s good for him to be more proactive, but... this is going quite a bit farther than what I’d expected of him.

The brief but sharp feeling of his teeth on the skin of my ear almost renders me unable to speak, and I’m flushed at my loss for words.

“You’re a g-good guy, of course!” I tell him the first words that come to me. “Wh-why would you b-be otherwise, Twice H. Pieceman?”

-- --

“Well...” I tilt my body back up, drawing back from her. “If I were a good guy...” I start to move myself from her head around her body, taking my hands off her chest. However, as I do so, I leave a hand on her body, trailing down through her cleavage and over her belly.

“Would I do this?” Now kneeling between her legs, which I had gently wedged myself in, I gave her another grin. My finger passed over her belly button, drawing lower - over her swimsuit bottom... where I gently pushed, right on top of her nub.


“A-aaah! L-Twice H. Pieceman!” A jolt of pleasure like an electric shock courses through my body, making me shiver a slight bit, and raising the goosebumps on my skin. Is... is he really going to do this, right here? I want it, since he’s my husband, but...

I look down, barely moving my head; a blush is clearly streaked across my face. “C-could you, m-maybe, a... a little m-more?” I say to him in a voice I’m not sure is audible enough for him to hear from where he is.

-- --

She’s talking... trying to get me to keep going? Well, of course, I was planning to, but... I can’t let this opportunity go to waste.

I pause my hand, resting it where it lay at the moment she stopped talking. “Pardon? I don’t think I quite
caught that.”

It took a supreme effort of will to keep from grinning cheek to cheek.


I place one hand on my belly, holding it there as I try to steady my breathing. I... kind of doubt that’s going to happen, though, not like this.

Weakly, I smack at Twice H. Pieceman’s arm for his cruel remark. “Twice H. Pieceman!” I frown as best I can, attempting to ignore the stimulation down between my legs. “I, I... I s-said I w-wanted... I said you... that you...” I can’t go on like this; it’s too much. I swallow my pride, or maybe just my overwhelming embarrassment in this situation.

“Please, T-Twice H. Pieceman, I w-want you to k-k-keep going, now!” I shut my eyes as tight as I can, not wanting to look at how Twice H. Pieceman’s going to react.

-- --

I thank my lucky stars that she saw fit to close her eyes - because, I can’t stop my grin from breaking out now. “As you wish.”

I start working on her, alternatively pressing and rubbing in a circle, occasionally throwing in a squeeze for good measure. My task is made all the easier by the slight wetness that begins to seep through the fabric,
softening my strokes.

At the same time, I put my hand over hers, feeling her breathing.

Or at least, pretending to. I was in the mood for various nefarity now. So, as she stopped concentrating on what I was doing apart from my right hand, I slipped my left off hers and to her side. And when I hit a small break in my ministrations...



“G-g-g-good!” I gasp, exasperated. “I-it feels r-really good, Twice H. Pieceman, ah, hm!” His fingers stroke my slit, appealing to my natural sensitivity to make my body feel almost frozen from the heat rushing through it. I shouldn’t be surprised at how skilled he’s become, but... I am.

I let myself get into the rhythm; the lower half of my bikini is getting wetter as Twice H. Pieceman continues with his soft, but determined stroking.

His other hand slides up to mine, and I let out a little sigh between my sharp gasps. Our fingers intertwine a little, though the extent of that is limited by my simple inability to exert much effort with what Twice H. Pieceman’s doing d-down in my crotch.

“Hah, I... I like it; k-keep go-” I begin, but then I feel something strange on at my side. Twice H. Pieceman’s grip has left my hand, my eyes flick left and right to figure out what’s going on.

I’m too late.

A strange, indescribable sensation is tearing at my body, and I see Twice H. Pieceman’s fingers rubbing on the side of my belly. I try, but I really can’t hold back a girlish squeal.

“Aaaahhh~ Twice H. Pieceman!” I close my eyes again, and my breathing gets erratic, my attention turned away even from the nice rubbing of his other hand. “S-stop it, T-Twice H. Pieceman, that’s j-just... aaaahhh!!”

-- --

“Okay, okay.” I choose to interpret her request as a request to stop the tickling, the last element added. Instead, my hand comes back to join the other at her hip.

Another press of my thumb falls upon her clit, just as my returned hand begins to slide her suit bottom out of position. While lubricated, a fabric is still going to be felt when moved, of course: and with pressure on it, in such a sensitive spot, it must be quite the feeling.

Easily, the bottom is forcibly migrated to her thighs. Taking quick advantage of the situation, I take my finger and slide it up her slit. Not a forceful ram, but it was quick enough that she didn’t have much time to react.

Even if she had, it wouldn’t have done her much good. By now, she had managed to lubricate herself enough that it only took a sliver of effort from me to enter her up past the first knuckle of my index finger.

Warmth assaulted my finger, her muscles gently resisting. There, though, I paused, not wanting to move too fast on her. Despite the teasing, I still did love her.


Twice H. Pieceman’s not tickling me anymore, but a sensation is building up deep within me... “Twice H. Piecemannnnnn!” I cry, and I squirm my legs about as if I’m trying to squish his hands right in between his thighs.

W-well, of course, it feels incredible, but I can’t help my body’s unconscious reactions. My skin is getting all flushed, and the heat rising from within me far overshadows the rays of the open sun.

“D-don’t stop...” I tell him, my voice breathy, the words just barely slipping past my lips. “You c-can do it as... as r-rough as you like, Twice H. Pieceman, it’ll o-only feel better!” I sharply inhale with that, not saying anymore; I’m getting close to the edge, and I have a feeling that Twice H. Pieceman’s going to soon push me right off...

-- --

“As I like?” is my question. The only answer I need is the look on her face as I twitch my finger, pressing on her inside walls.

I start to build a steady rhythm with my hand, moving in, and out, and in, and out. Every stroke only gets easier, as her arousal becomes even more evident - the subtle twitches in her body that I’d come to recognize, flicks of the ears among them.

After a short while of that, I decide to abide by her request. Switching hands, I add another finger. Her tightness is evident now, resisting intrusion. But, in the same token, each stroke causes her body to react more and more at the greater sensation.

My other hand, now lubricated, has another purpose. I move it behind and under my left arm, and with a slow movement, stroke the opening to her anus.

“As rough as I like?” I repeat this question, but this time with a slight smile on my face.


Unable to speak, I just rapidly nod, more like I’m jerking my head up and down.

“Ah, p-please... ah, hah...” I feel my muscles start to contract on Twice H. Pieceman’s fingers, my entrance becoming even wetter as he strokes in and out. I-if he goes on like this, I’m going to...

My vision almost fades, my body starting to throb with heat as I near a climax, the pleasure becoming simply too much for me to handle at this point. I let out a moan, drawing it on as Twice H. Pieceman presses his fingers deeper than before inside me, pressing past my rapidly fading tightness. Still, it feels like he’s getting slower, and I have to wonder what he’s going to do.

-- --

It doesn’t get easier anymore: the lubrication of her liquids is now counterbalanced by a powerful grip from her muscles, tightening down on me whenever I try to make a move. What that meant was obvious. And that called for a bit of timing.

I slowed down even further, trying to draw out the plateau of pleasure for her. One... two... three... four...

On five, I retracted my hand, almost leaving her entirely. Then, in one smooth movement, I returned my two fingers as far as they could go, just as I pushed in from the back, fighting against two sets of muscles.


“Mmm, hah... k-keep going, T-Twice H. Pieceman, I... almost there...” I feel... so close... Twice H. Pieceman’s fingers inside me are pressing in just the right places, and it’s making me feel so hot I can’t even control it.

“-ehh??” All of a sudden, Twice H. Pieceman’s two fingers slide with practised precision out of me, and I can hardly keep track of all of what’s currently going on. “Twice H. Pieceman what ah-”

“N-aaaaaahhh!” Just as the muscles in my sex contract, slippery with a new wetness, I feel a strange penetration into my other hole, with some wet sensation jerking up into my rear. I can hardly voice what I feel, though: the orgasm makes my whole body shudder with immense satisfaction, but leaves me still wanting more.

I can’t even react to what’s going on; I just clench my teeth and hope that Twice H. Pieceman knows whatever he’s going to do. My body is entirely in his hands at this point, melting in his skilled hands.

-- --

Her body practically explodes, crushing down on my knuckles. Despite that, I manage to extricate both my hands. Quickly, so not to waste the moment, I move up her body, almost entirely on top of her, and take her mouth in a deep kiss.

Still in the aftershock of my previous movements, she opens her mouth without resistance, moaning into me as I not only kiss her, but rub at the inside of her ear with my left hand, in an attempt to keep her high running for as long as I can. It was almost a bad time to do it: the heavenly soft fur inside her ear was matted down slightly by her moisture on her finger, but, would she mind? It seemed unlikely.


Our tongues wrap around each other, feeling the wet heat of our mouths collide in a way not unlike his finger
in my slit, but more personal - our lips touch, and I savour the soft, gentle brush of skin almost as much as the incredible shocks he gave me with just his fingers.

And, speaking of his fingers...

“Ahhmmm... hah, mm...” I moan even while Twice H. Pieceman and I share this kiss; his fingers are caressing the inside of one of my fox ears, one of the most sensitive places on my body. After that shivering climax, though, this feels almost tame, and I glide along the waves of pleasure still making me twitch a little, enjoying them for as long as they’ll last.

I part our lips and take a small breath, staring into Twice H. Pieceman’s eyes. “I love you, Twice H. Pieceman, I really do.” I blush, again, and quite furiously. “Y-you... can do anything, promise.”

-- --

Ah, she’s so cute like this. Suddenly less confident and guiding... mmmm. I prop myself off her prone body,
and stand at her feet. “Right now... I don’t think I’m the person who’ll be doing the doing.” I say with a cheeky smile.

I rest my hands by my sides, hooking my thumbs into the elastic of my swim trunks. Just from the weight of my arms, the trunks loosen slightly, sliding a bit. For the most part, what it does is just draw attention to the bulge between my legs, calling for some kind of attention.


Heat fills my cheeks.

“So... th-that’s what you want, huh...?” I ask hesitantly, arching my back and shoulders up so that I’m half-sitting, my eyes unable to look away from where Twice H. Pieceman’s indicating - the unmistakable bulge at his crotch that been growing the whole time he had me on the ground. I imagine that, without his shorts, it’ll be even bigger than it already looks.

I gulp, trying to prolong the time before I do what I know Twice H. Pieceman wants me to do. “I g-guess I... I can do that, if you really want me to, in a place like this...” I look away, but my gaze draws me slowly back as I raise my body up, as lazily as if I were just waking in the morning.

Sitting on my knees, I unconsciously lick my lips, just briefly. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can’t see it, but I know Twice H. Pieceman is stepping forward a bit: when I look again he’s right in front of me, and I only have to slide forward just a little bit. The towel underneath me scrunches up with my jerking movement, making my slick, lotioned legs almost slip against each other, putting me slightly off balance for a few moments. I right myself, finally as ready as I’ll ever be.

In front of Twice H. Pieceman I get up a little and get in line with his crotch; my hands cover his and I slowly, slowly lower his shorts. My heart thumps heavily in my chest.

It shocks me even though I should’ve expected it: Twice H. Pieceman’s member slip out from the top of his trunks, already stiff and hanging just barely. It seems what he was doing to me earlier even made him aroused, too.

One last time, I gulp. Twice H. Pieceman’s length is enough for me to comfortably put two hands on it, but I soon drop the extra one; my breathing is getting out of its normal rhythm again, and when I breathe in through my nose I start smelling the sweet scent of my own juices, driving me onwards instinctually. My main hand strokes Twice H. Pieceman back and forth, quite slowly in fact, while the other hand is lazily caressing his leg and helping me hold onto his body.

Every once in a while as I work at his shaft I glance up at Twice H. Pieceman, wondering how he feels about this. I know he wants it, but I have to wonder if he’s feeling it like I felt his fingers rubbing all the way inside me... ah, the heat is getting to me again, and I close my legs tight in a nearly futile attempt to avoid getting so horny again.

When I stroke him I squeeze at the base of his member, and I can see him wincing when I do that; the pleasure might be getting to him, perhaps. That idea makes me want to continue, as I strive to make Twice H. Pieceman felt just as good as I did. That’s the duty of a good wife like myself, after all. My husband is important to me, the most important thing in the world, and I have to make sure that he’s happy and satisfied to the greatest degree I can offer.

So, to do that, I’ve got to go a little farther...

I pant a few times, my rhythmic jerking of Twice H. Pieceman’s shaft starting to wind down, and my fingers begin to caress more near his tip.

At long last, I let him feel my hot breath on his most sensitive skin, and my tongue flicks out from between my lips, starting to wrap around the very top of his length, sliding wetness along it.

-- --

She understands me - unsurprisingly, I guess. It’s not as if we haven’t done this before. But still, it’s good to know that we can understand each other like this. It’s always a thought that worries me, every now and then: are we for real? Do we understand each other as well as I hope? But right now... eh heh, it isn’t on my mind.

Her hands wrap around me, warm fingers and palm embracing. Slowly, excruciatingly, she starts to stroke, up and down. Somehow, even at that speed and with one hand, she still creates the feeling of envelopment, completely taking me up.

A squeeze, right next to my body, causes me to breathe in heavily, in an effort to control myself. I place a hand on her shoulder - reassuring, both for her and me. I was there for her, supporting her, and for myself: doing this without support was rare, and I knew she was good enough to destroy my ability to control my own body.

Even as I know she must be glancing at me, I’m unable to do the same for her. My eyes are closed, tilted towards the sky both to try and focus on the feeling and to stabilize myself. Though, that might be counterproductive-

As I’m worrying about my normally good balance, I’m not paying attention to her hands. Slowly coming up, it should be a sign of what was coming, but I don’t pick up on it. So, when her tongue strikes me, it takes me completely by surprise.

I can’t prevent my mouth from opening, letting out a long sigh of pleasure. The warm, moist heat on her tongue only caresses part of me, leaving the rest out to the air still. But, all that does is amplify the feeling. The gentle sea breeze coming in on us heightens the contrast - a fire and ice, I suppose.

I lay my other hand over her ear, running a finger along the back while my palm cradles her head - both to give her something in return, and provide even more encouragement.


Twice H. Pieceman’s fingers brush across my ear like a gentle kiss.

“Ah...” I slip my tongue back in my mouth and breath out, warm air blowing across the wet tip of Twice H. Pieceman’s shaft, very likely making it feel better.

Soon the same hand that caressed my ear goes to the back of my head, pushing forward very slightly. I... have to say, I know what he’s urging me to do, and I close my eyes and smile before letting my tongue lave at his
soft skin again.

His tip is flushed and hot; I can feel it on the very edges of my lips as I begin to close in on Twice H. Pieceman, my mouth starting to gradually wrap around him, its warmth enveloping him just like his fingers in my sex. I place a wet but gentle kiss on the side of his shaft, letting my tongue run along it to lubricate it further, the wetness from my mouth and tongue almost giving it a cute shine.

After my lips massage him and I blow softly on the parts slick with saliva, I take him more fully into my mouth, pushing past the tip while still stroking him with my hand, getting a little lighter now that his member is wet from my diligent licking.

It’s warm and hot in my mouth, perhaps even more so than my tongue that begins to slip from side to side, massaging along the bottom of Twice H. Pieceman’s length in my mouth.

My head presses further, Twice H. Pieceman’s ever-so-subtle encouragement working even better than he might be thinking. Soon enough my hand is almost running out of room to caress him, and the edge of my index finger occasionally brushes up against my lips, reminding me of how deep I’m taking him within my hot, wet mouth.

I make sure to breathe hot puffs onto his member as it lays inside me, sometimes being exposed to the air when my head bobs back, then forth again to keep wetting him. After all, I... might not get many more chances
to give him pleasurable breaths like that, quite soon.

My hand moves along his length more quickly now, and he’s slicker than ever; even though it’s pretty thick, it’s sliding in even more easily than before, and I feel it touch quite lightly the back of my throat.

-- --

Her ministrations are truly devilish. The sudden soaking heat of her on my head practically burns, sending the feeling rolling up the length of my spine.

Her gentle blows suddenly cool, causing a tingling sensitivity to savor for a few moments before she plunges back to work.

Her tongue, flicking from side to side, strokes and draws me out, feline in its caress.

“Aaaaah.” Suddenly, what she does forces a sharp gasp out of me as the back of her throat gently taps me.

It’s too soon. That was the last straw for any eventual hope of me holding back: now, it’s just a question of when. It’s fast, but, we’d been saving ourselves for this trip, and besides... how could I not get a little too prepared with her body in front of me like it was earlier?

“Ca-Caster...” I manage to squeeze out her name in warning, that she doesn’t have much time left.


“Eh? Twice H. Pieceman?” I wonder, pulling my head back and ending my dutiful handling of his shaft. A few short breaths blow out onto him, but I manage to steady my own respiration as I catch my breath; I had to hold it in for quite some time!

-- --

My vision narrows, the rest of the world starting to fade. The expectation is too much, too much for me to handle rationally. Baser instincts are forced to the fore.

Both my hands go to her shoulders, seizing them roughly and spinning her around, twisting the blanket under her. A little shove to her, already off balance, sends her to her hands and knees within the space of a few seconds, core laid wide open.

Keeping one hand to her back, I take a deep breath in. I can smell her, sense her previous and new, building arousal mixed with the salt air. As I take that moment to savor the sight, one part of my brain asks me to hold off to at least get an okay from her.

The response from the rest of my gray matter? “Naaah.” Guiding my now wet length, I slide it straight into - not her slit, where she expects it - but her less desirable place, forcing her to take the greater part of me in one thrust.


I don’t even have time to react.

“T-Twice H. Pieceman..?” I cry out, and find myself spinning, barely able to see what exactly Twice H. Pieceman’s doing to me. I feel his hands gripping my shoulders, then my hands reach out in a split-second reaction, saving me from falling face-first into the towel.

I only get time for one breath - and even then it’s a short, sharp one - before a rough pain hits my rear, spreading into me like nothing has before. It’s wet and smooth, but so unexpected that I almost let out a sob as my eyes narrow into a pained wince. Twice H. Pieceman... I can feel him right behind me, his hands holding firmly onto the soft skin of my waist just above my hips, his thighs very close to mine; I can feel their searing heat.

The other heat starts to build up - Twice H. Pieceman’s thrust his shaft right into my rear, having roughly forced me down to do so. My mind, at first, tells me to just work against him and escape this when I feel his first hard thrust, but... my body disagrees.

A unique sort of pleasure flows through me when Twice H. Pieceman pulls out and then pushes himself all the way in again, and I let out a long, moaning sigh; my arms almost collapse as if melting, and it’s really a struggle to keep myself steady. I just might collapse, if this keeps up.

I let out a cry, feeling the pain again, but it’s dulled by how fantastic this really is.

My sex clenches as if Twice H. Pieceman was slamming his length into it, a few drips escaping from it, slipping down my leg.

“Aaahh, mmn, hah... T-Twice H. Pieceman, more! Ah, p-please!” I call out to him in a weak voice, but I’m not sure if he can even understand what I’m saying to him.

-- --

“Uuuaaaahhh...” I can't respond to her anymore. She's unbelievably tight, gripping me in pulses. It's harsh, but... but I can't stop myself from going even deeper, taking myself in as far as I can go. I can hear her cry in reply, trying to deal with that much length.

Under the sun, both our bodies shine with sweat, soaking our hair and bodies, along with Caster's pleasure. Her glistening body is laid out before me, smooth ass and back in plain view. Every time I move, she moves with me, arching her head in a mewl.

I move with even more energy now. Now, with each stroke, I can feel a heat building in the base of my shaft, threatening to explode.


One final push.


“Ah... ahn, hah-!” My breathing is rough, almost bringing me to the brink of consciousness. Still, I can feel it: Twice H. Pieceman’s getting rougher, panting as he thrusts harder into me.

I lose all strength in my arms, and they collapse; I’m left with my bottom up, and my torso pressed to the towel. I can barely turn my head around to see what Twice H. Pieceman’s doing, and so I just imagine it, thinking of how he’s taking me, full force. A small surge of pain hits me, but I bear it, only letting a few small tears roll down my cheeks.

Even with that, the pleasure that fills me is like nothing else. Twice H. Pieceman might be rough now, but I enjoy it; I can tell through his own base desire taking over him that I’ve managed to please him almost fully, and his groans of ecstasy tell me no lies.

Instinctively I pressed my rear backwards into each pump of Twice H. Pieceman’s hips, letting him fill me completely. “A-aaah!” I shut my eyes tight, feeling the pain again. My skin is hot and flushed, and I feel heat in my ass like nothing else. Twice H. Pieceman’s sweaty thighs slap against mine, I can hear it. So close... I take in as long a breath I can, preparing myself for what I know will soon overcome him.

Clutching my hips and jerking them back, he buries his whole length within me and I let out a sharp cry. The pleasure reaches a long crescendo, and I moan at what’s now surging through my body, filling me.

A thick liquid shoots through me, filling me up; it’s actually rather cool compared to my burning insides, making the sensation all the better. Twice H. Pieceman groans and I feel his member swelling in my ass, throbbing every so often and sending more spurts of his heat down into me.

“Ah... it feels so good l-like this, Twice H. Pieceman...” I sigh, letting go of my mind to bask in the ecstasy of being filled. Twice H. Pieceman’s length, staying hard at first, is no longer letting out jolts of cum into me, and gradually goes soft inside my ass, still managing to feel pleasurable even now.

A blush slips across my cheeks when I don’t expect it. “I’m very impressed by your skill, you know.” I say this to him in a small voice, keeping my ass raised. His hands are still on me, and I can sense the sweat on them as they caress my rear.

-- --

“Still impressed?” Slowly, I slip out of her, releasing a rivulet of pearl white. I place my thumb under the flow, letting it drip onto me, which I then slowly spread around her rear and back, all while talking to her. “I would think I’ve impressed you by now - it’s not been exactly a day since we met, after all.” I start up a light massage of her butt, gently pushing and pulling.


The sensation of Twice H. Pieceman pulling out sends a little shock through me.

That, then, is overshadowed by his thumb sliding his fluid all over me, feeling unusually hot on my skin; it sends a tingle across me, almost making me shudder. His hands begin to caress me, massaging the skin of my ass almost like he did with my shoulders. I breathe out a happy sigh.

Hearing him speak, I chuckle. “W-well, I’m more impressed now, Twice H. Pieceman. That was exactly what I wanted and -aaah!- well, mmm, it was different than usual.” I smile, though I’m not sure if he can see from where he is. “I liked it a lot, you know. At least you didn’t put it in my other hole this time, y’know.” I let my body relax, sinking into the light sensations of his skilled fingers.

-- --

Ooooh. Oh, wow. A wave of exhaustion hits me: to be expected, but still. It reaches through my entire body, sapping the strength of my arms, chest, hands... you name it. Quickly, before I fall on her, I flop to the side, spent.

“Man, what am I going to do when I can’t keep raising the bar? My position is so tenuous...”


I let out a very soft chuckle, my breath falling on his warm, muscular chest. “I’ll be sure to ensure that your tenure as my lover lasts as long as it can. Perhaps Fea can please me if you can’t, hmm?” I close my eyes and smile at him, slipping atop him, laying my sweaty, flushed body across his own.

My breasts squish against his skin, and I plant a light kiss on his lips.

March 4th, 2014, 11:46 AM
Her (Romance)

I was born and raised in complete solitude. Training tirelessly so that one day I would appease those that trained me, those that owned me, those that controlled me. Every day it was hammered into me that my life was insignificant and so long as I followed the orders of my superiors I could continue on towards their ultimate goal.

And so I trained, day's passed and night's continued onward and yet I trained never thinking anything they did not want me to think, never dreaming what they did not want me to dream, all so that when the time came I could fulfill my “purpose”.

Blessed by their vast knowledge I came to know their secrets, their techniques, their every being. And so I trained I was their perfect machine the instrument to which they could do with what they pleased. And I thought nothing of it.

Even as I aged, as I grew stronger under their teachings, I never thought for myself. If they told me to jump I would jump, if they told me to fight I would fight, if they told me to die for their “beliefs” I'd do it without a second thought. Because I was their machine and they were my every being.

And so the time came for me to fulfill my purpose, my reason for existing. I donned their charade with ease and using the tools they had gifted to me completed their “mission” with near perfect success.

But when the time came for me to finish the duty by ending my own life I hesitated. Was it a bug perhaps? Did something go wrong with their programming? I did not understand what had happened, why couldn't I do it? Not even I knew why. Perhaps it was my suppressed desires all bursting out at once like a dam pushed past it's limits.

Why did I exist? That was the question I asked myself. The very question that prevented me from finishing the job. Why? I couldn't understand and so I ran, they demanded perfection and I was no longer perfect. I was a defect, but I still had their knowledge and they dared not chase after me for fear of what I could do.

Using the very gifts that they had bestowed upon me I started life anew. Under the shelter of friends I did not deserve. Among the people I once knew nothing of I continued on. Still asking myself that very question. Why did I exist?

Time began to pass and still I could find no answer, no truth that could solve this dilemma that prevented me, the ultimate machine from fulfilling it's master's orders. Now accustomed to the so called normal life so many others took for granted I wandered. Just as lost as I had always been.

Then it happened, “she” appeared. Just as suddenly as I had asked myself the question did she come, a broken mess and near death I came to her aid. I knew not why I did it but I did it anyway. Perhaps I had secretly wished that helping this stranger would answer the question I had long burdened myself with.

After I had helped to regain her strength, She one of hidden beauty spoke of many things all of which I knew none of and cared little for. Then as if all her strings had been cut she begged for my aid, I could have just as easily refused it just I had refused my orders but I couldn't. She gave off the same aura as me and whether it be on a whim or some grand design I accepted her offer still asking myself the ever important question. Why?

What followed was even more strange than before. Despite my lack of knowledge I aided her to the best of my abilities even going so far as to allowing her to completely consume the very ones who sheltered me since my departure. But why?

Though we knew little about each other she was completely devoted to me, despite my initial protests. Her every word and action devoted towards my well being. So why? Why did I deserve this? I was nothing but a machine who's master had long left it to rot, and yet she stayed for me. So I stayed for her.

Even when our plans eventually unraveled and her truth's came into being I never hated her. She, one who had given her entire life to making sure I could live was so scared that I would leave just as easily as I had aided. So when her secrets came out I accepted them, I accepted everything about her, but I still did not understand why.

And then the end, despite my best efforts I was unable to protect her. Why did she have die for my sake? A thing as worthless as me deserving of such an honor, yet she gave me everything she could and still it was not enough for her.

And so, as she faded I did my best to comfort her. I saw her tears sparkling in the darkness it dawned upon me.

It was only then did I finally understand, only when she had finally given everything she could did I find my answer. And so whether out of stupidity or loyalty I did the same for her, satisfied that my goal had been accomplished.

My name is Kuzuki Soichirou and I exist for “her”.

March 4th, 2014, 11:48 AM
The Last of The Magi (Unlikely Pairing)

A swagman camped by a billabong, under the shade of a Coolibah tree.

He was resting on his back with a shawl over his face to keep the dust off.

'Hallo the camp!'

Spooked, old man Schweinorg sat up and looked around.

Just out of easy melee range was a girl.

Tiredly, a childhood reflex took in her appearance. Large straw hat, a pink scarf, a good sized military backpack with load carrying gear, a faded dark dress with a dusty white collar, boots, and a large bindle in one hand. Nothing particularly hard to get in this era. Her skin was weathered, but she still showed a few signs of baby fat. This last was probably evidence of some sort of longevity practice.

He didn't know her. Of those it had been worth his while to know, to his knowledge he could count the ones still alive on one hand.

'How did you get here?' He would have sworn that he had left the last working ute in three hundred miles one miles back.

'I walked.'

'Why are you here?' It was pointless to ask.

'I am the Pope, here to minister to my flock.'

She didn't have any rings on her fingers. 'You aren't even ordained.'

'Then you are the Mope, here to ruin all my fun.' She smiled.

He sighed.

'What kind of fun are you here for?'

'I am going to go over where the thing is going to happen, find out what it is, and decide what I want to do.'

He sighed again. It wasn't like putting the alarms of the counter force to rest took much thought. Find threat, smash threat.

'Mister. Would you escort me?' She offered the arm that didn't have the bindle.

She had a good look in her eyes. It reminded him of a magus he'd known long ago. Hadn't he died during the Siege of Limoges?

Grabbing his carpet bag, they followed a dry creek bed until they came to a small mesa. The early afternoon sun was warm.

Two miles from the camp, a man stood in the swirling dust.

Upright, muscled, with white hair and dark skin. Not carrying anything. His garments looked like military vintage, from the big mid century war that had ended, was it already fifteen years ago? He looked like the Emiya boy..

'Now that you have trapped us in your secret fortified headquarters, would you reveal your wicked scheme, O Great Villain?' she asked.

'But I am a Her- Oh. Let me start over. Have you ever wondered why the spirit and essence of a ball of molten iron might be entirely oriented around less than one sixteenth of its volume? I will attempt to show why the entity known to Magus as Gaia must actually be two distinct phenomena.'

The speech, obviously prepared, continued. Didn't everyone know about Eratosthenes? The purely human content of the lecture mostly covered since the middle of the last century, the twentieth, and the old man had last seriously paid attention to such matters during the reign of Louis the fifteenth. It got to a section discussing the significance of the dust, which the old man wasn't following, when the girl interrupted.

'This speech someone is feeding you is boring. Give me your strongest reason. Tell me what you plan to do.'

'Okay. Huh. I can see any thing if it is a weapon, created in order to cause harm. The cold, the war, the near extinction of the magi, and various other things have all been shaped by a single hand. My Structural Grasp lets me learn a lot from studying an object. I used Structural Grasp on the ball of iron. That ball of iron is not the one trying to cut humanity down. I am now able to make a sword that should be able to kill the one attempting to destroy humanity, "Gaia", without also destroying the ball of iron.'

Then it at last became a conversation, getting fairly technical. It was now clear to him that she had been correct about someone feeding words to the other man. The forecasting, such as the possibility the sword might cause the sky to turn red and monsters to be called from beyond the void, matched the interests and thinking of that calculator alchemist.

'...those are the conclusions.'

'So, are you in or out?'

'As the obnoxiously chirpy sidekick, I must defer to my associate here.' said the girl.

'O Great Kaleidoscope, do you wish to take part in this plan?' asked the boy.

He hadn't been personally insulted by this 'enemy'. He had lost some associates to those 'accidents', including the extinct Tosaka. In a way, he had started the job by dealing with the Crimson Moon and its attempt to breed servants for Gaia. Might as well help finish it. 'Let us kill "Gaia" that way.'

The procedure itself was uneventful, ignoring the cosmetic features. The youngest of the three made a sword that looked like a fancy club appear in his hand. The sword went up. The sword came down. The excess energy released to the surroundings was small, barely a whisper. The color of the sky was the same. The weather didn't suddenly change.

'That's done now. Forecast says it didn't forge the message to the others. Maybe something like it can come back, if enough people believe in it, but that would take a long time and might be preventable. I much appreciate your help in this matter Great One.'

'I think I'd been led here to kill you before you started, for the chance that you would make a mistake and kill a lot of people. The other worlds tell me it would have been very easy to kill a lot of people doing this. It was no trouble, Great One. I'm off'

The older gentleman and the girl walked off together, leaving the younger gentleman behind.

'If you are to be my sidekick, we probably ought to check your qualifications. Are you extremely young?'

'I recently had my hundredth birthday.'

'Hm... Do you have a strange and unusual ethnic background?'

'I am Japanese, so no, not at all.'

'Any rare and unusual skills?'

'I have a degree in under water basket weaving.'

'Okay, are there any stereotypes that you particularly embody?'

'Well, I did live through the big conflict. I suppose 'lone survivor of a seemingly endless battlefield'? But it didn't kill so many people that someone surviving must be unusual.'

'Any particularly disturbing bits of personal history?'

'When I was younger I had a crush on my older brother. I thought it was the real thing, that I wanted to be his wife and bear his children. I've figured out that I was just a late bloomer, because I now know what it really feels like.'

'It doesn't sound like you are sidekick material. Maybe some other sort of relationship?'

'I bet I can pace you to wherever you are going.'

They continued to walk together.

The sun started to set.

The End

March 4th, 2014, 11:58 AM
that first one seems oddly familiar

March 4th, 2014, 12:59 PM
Did... did someone just grab an existing lemon and replace all the names with the names of the new characters?

EDIT: Oh wait, fox ears. Never mind then.

March 4th, 2014, 03:38 PM
Why do people feel the need to specify that it's the end of the chapter/oneshot?

March 4th, 2014, 06:56 PM
Why do people feel the need to specify that it's the end of the chapter/oneshot?

Because then they don't need to write an ending. It's right there "end"

March 4th, 2014, 07:30 PM
Zelretch, Shirou and...who?

March 5th, 2014, 12:52 AM
Getting Some Action's take on citrus-flavored foxgirl had me rolling, but for the love of whatever I couldn't tell you why exactly. The actual erotica content itself is okay, nothing too special. But it was because of the choice of subject material, who the focus characters were, TWICE H. PIECEMAN and the one and only Tamamo-no-Mae, and the nature of their original setting being the Moon Cell and the distinctly dystopian Fate/EXTRA real world that kept me questioning the exact nature of the story all the way through, that there had to some sort of twist waiting for me to pick up on. Or it was all part of some inside joke currently going over my heard.

The lack of any fluffy tail usage in it brought it from being merely silly to a hilarious disappointment of a travesty. At least there was furry ears to satiate the animal in me, but it was so rife with cliche that as romance and comedy alike it can't be anything more than average.

Regarding Her, if I didn't know better I'd swear that Milbunk wrote this one entry because I'm reasonably certain that no one here in Beast's Lair but him cares about Unlimited Codes. Which I'm under the impression here that this story is an introspective epilogue to Caster's in-game storyline, in which she uses her wish on the Grail to brink back Mr. K and it does so with seemingly no repercussions for some reason. The content itself is sound, the only real technical issues it possesses are formatting issues, which is a website problem and not one with the story itself. I bet it's undeniably the winner of the Romance category, if only for the reason that it's competition is the strange and laughable Getting Some Action.

It's not the only reason.

Kuzuki is about as colorful as a wet saltine. If this wasn't an opinion it would be fact. But his past, the organization he came from, and its the more we'll be sure to learn of it in the future Mahoyo novels, have potential. While this potential isn't addressed here, it still makes an effort to humanize and give some motivation and emotions to /stay night's most robotic character. It might be short, but let's just say that it's the right amount of length.

And poor Unlikely Pairings. Such an unloved, under-appreciated category. A pity. The Last of the Magi takes it by default, but that doesn't mean I can't at least say a few words because of that. Why I can't say a few words about it is that I just cannot follow it. It's mysterious, and it tries to be funny, tongue-in-cheek, even, but I just don't know what it's even about or what it tries to accomplish. Zelretch, NotArcher!Shirou, and...the Dust of Osiris, fucked if I know, get together, chat, and go somewhere. I think.

So all in all it's "eh" for the entries of the not-so popular categories. Except for the proverbial shiny penny you find in the mud that is Her, that is. But the penny isn't this year's mint. And you found it tails-up. Which all doesn't change the fact you found a shiny penny in a puddle of mud, of all places, so hip-hip for little victories, you suppose.