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bobtheapple
May 14th, 2014, 02:16 AM
Rather than clutter up the Fate/Hollow Ataraxia main page, I decided to make my own thread. The following is a complete list of all the files I've edited and changes I've made, complete with explanations of why I did them, as well as random asides that came up as I was translating.

絵馬001.ks.po
Notes: This is verified so I didn't change it, but the last line uses a short space after the period instead of a long space(" " vs " "), which is inconsistent with what I've seen in other sections. In the future, I will refer to this as "short space error."

絵馬002.ks.po
First Line
Japanese: 「新キャラ“カレン・オルテンシア”の[ruby text=カソ]法[ruby text=ック]衣【中央・右】と、問題の悪魔祓い時の戦闘服【左】」
Original: 「These are the new character Caren Ortensia's vestments (center, right) and battle uniform for performing exorcisms (left).」
Bob Edit: No change, acceptable.

Second Line
Japanese: 「視線誘導技術って奴かしら。[br] 今年の“ベストハイテナイ賞”は貰ったも同然ね」
Original: 「Maybe this is what they mean by drawing the viewer's eye to the focal point.[br] This year's Best No Undies Award is as good as won.」
Bob Edit: 「Maybe this is what they mean by drawing the viewer's eye to a focal point.[br] This year's "Best No Pants Award" is already as good as won.」
Notes: Okay, here's one that's been quibbled about some it seems. “ベストハイテナイ賞”, literally meaning 'Best Not Wearing Any Award,' has been previously been translated to 'best nude' and 'best no underwear.' I ended up taking the road less traveled, and went with 'best no pants.' Why? Look at the picture! Caren is covered from head to toe in her battle uniform, and is clearly wearing underwear... in fact, she pretty much is only wearing underwear. Also put the quotes back in and did some minor tweaks to make it read better.

Third Line
Japanese: 「君が言うのか……裸マントよりはマシだろう」
Original: 「If you say so... but what about a mantle on a nude body?」
Bob Edit: 「If you say so... but isn't this still better than wearing nothing but a mantle?」
Notes: Sadly, English lacks the convenience of the one kanji 裸. Fetishes are so much easier to do in Japanese, 裸 followed by ANYTHING will get you hits on Google. Best translation is 'naked except for [blank]' or 'wearing nothing but [blank].' マント is an odd word choice, I googled 裸マント and got nothing but capes, not one resembling anything Ciel wears. I assume they are referencing either the more lewdly dressed Powered Ciel (http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/File:Powered_ciel.png), or perhaps just referencing the mysterious 絶対領域 of combat Ciel (http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/File:Ciel_mbaa.png). Anyway it's not a cape or a mantle, but more of a one-piece-skirt-thing. I want to call it a habit, but that doesn't seem right... for now I'm sticking with mantle. (Further digression: I'm surprised, actually. When looking around at character designs of Type-Moon's non-fan-service work, a vast majority of the women characters are conservatively dressed. The only exceptions it seems are school-girl uniforms, which, duh, Powered Ciel and Rider. Way to stay high brow... most of the time.)

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「え? カ、カレーの人?」
Original: 「Eh? You mean that c-curry girl?」
Bob Edit: None, Acceptable

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「ふっ、どうかな」
Original: “Hmm… I wonder.”
Bob Edit: 「Heh, who knows?」
Notes: Wrong quotes error. Now, I know what you are going to say, that どうかな better translates to 'I wonder,' but dammit, the joke works better this way. Otherwise it sounds as if Archer doesn't know what he's talking about. Your mileage may vary, I suppose.


絵馬003.ks.po
First Line
Japanese: 「八人目のマスター[br] “バゼット・フラガ・マクレミッツ”」
Original: 「The eighth Master[br] "Bazett Fraga McRemitz"」
Bob Edit: 「The eighth Master,[br] "Bazett Fraga McRemitz."」
Notes: A few new terms here, 'first space error,' where a space is placed before the line when there was none in the original, 'line break error' (not shown) where a line break is included in the translation, a 'last punctuation error,' where the last punctuation of a line is omitted, and a 'last space error' where a space is put at the end of a line where it wasn't in the original. Also I put a comma before the line break, I think it works better that way, and I'll do so with the rest to make it consistent.

Second Line
Japanese: 「まっこと凛々しいわね。まさしく男装の麗人」
Original: 「She definitely has that gallant look. A beauty in men's clothing.」
Bob Edit: 「She definitely has that gallant look. A beauty in men's clothing.」
Notes: Line Break Error (not shown). 凛々しい is... hmm. I'm torn between gallant and dignified, but I erred on the side of gallant, because it adds a certain masculine quality, which fits the joke.

Third Line
Japanese: 「だな。しかし、ある意味君より艶やかな部分もある」
Original: 「Right? But there's another part to her that's even more elegant than what you mentioned.」
Bob Edit: 「Right? But there are more captivating parts to her as well.」
Notes: Line Break Error. You're in trouble when I think you are being verbose. The joke is Archer is looking at her tits, so went with captivating rather than elegant, but might change it to attractive. Considering it. Parts works better than a part, comedically.

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「部分……?[lr]
Original: 「A part...?[lr]
Bob Edit: 「Parts......?[lr]
Notes: Line Break Error. This is what I'm talking about. Tohsaka is trying to think of what Archer is referring to. One syllable, or trailing off in the second syllable is comedy. Two syllables and you sound slow. I went with two ellipses like the original instead of one... I'm not sure on how formatting should go

Fifth Line
Japanese:  マスターたるもの、[ruby text=どり]練[ruby text=ょく]達と[ruby text=さい]魔[ruby text=のう]力とハッタリに着目してほしいわね。[wait canskip=0 time=400]パーツじゃなくて!
Original:  You want us to pay attention to her expe[ruby text="hard work"]rtise, ma[ruby text=talent]gic, and cunning, right?[wait canskip=0 time=400] Not her body parts!」
Bob Edit:  As a Master, I want you to pay attention to her expe[ruby text="hard work"]rtise, pr[ruby text=talent]ana, and cunning.[wait canskip=0 time=400] Not her body parts!」
Notes: Line Break Error. Short Space Error. Not sure how to use ruby text properly, so I'll just assume the first post did it right. Weird original translation, this is supposed to be Tohsaka with a classic 突っ込み, chastising Archer. Iffy on a few elements, I think マスターたるもの means that when looking at Bazzet she should be seen as a master and thus (etc), but it could also mean that as Archer's Master, Tohsaka want him to (etc). I left it vague enough in any case. Secondly, I feel like I'm missing a joke with the ruby text, is it that she's talking really fast? Is it that she is comparing herself to Bazzet, placing her own versions of the qualities in ruby text above Bazzet's qualities? Whatever. We are using prana for 魔力 yes?


絵馬004.ks.po
First Line
Japanese: 「大きい“ギルガメ”と小さい“ギルガメ”。[br] 落としたのはどっち?」
Original: 「Big Gilgamesh or Small Gilgamesh.[br] Which one will fall?」
Bob Edit: 「Big Gilgamesh or Small Gilgamesh,[br] which one is better?」
Notes: Ugh. So this is a reference to the ongoing Type-Moon popularity contests. Archer is wondering which version of Gil will 'lose out' to the other. I went with 'which is better,' which yes, isn't even close, but it carries the gist and flows well. I also changed the punctuation, which is against my code, but whatever. I guess an alternate would be "Big Gilgamesh or Small Gilgamesh.[br] Which do you think will win?" and just leave it to the reader to know what he's talking about.

Second Line
Japanese: 「金も銀も大も小も、とにかく遠慮する」
Original: 「Gold or silver, big or small, I'll pass on both.」
Bob Edit: 「Gold or silver, big or small, either way I'll pass.」
Notes: First Space Error, Last Space Error. I think this is better, sue me.

Third Line
Japanese: 「子ギルきゅんはわりと好評なんだけどな」
Original: 「Li'l kid Gil is pretty popular though.」
Bob Edit: 「Li'l Gil is comparatively more popular though.」
Notes: First and Last Space Errors. And so it begins, my greatest weakness. Why can't I talk like a normal person? If a more mundane speech pattern is preferable, I can try to tone it down, but for now comparatively stays. Why 'Li'l?' That's me translating きゅん. No need for the kid though, the cutsification of little should be enough.

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「原画担当によると『旧私服【右】はFate本編でキモーいぶっちゃけアリエナーイと没になったデザインを 大復活。子ギルはその流れをくんでいる』とかいないとか」
Original: 「According to the designer, "The old regular clothes (right) are the triumphant revival of a design that was deemed too impossibly ugly for the original Fate. Child Gil follows that same tradition."」
Bob Edit: 「According to the designer, "The old street clothes (right) are the triumphant revival of a design that was deemed too impossibly ugly for the original Fate. Little Gil follows in the same vein."」
Notes: First and Last Space Errors. The distinction between street, regular, and city clothes eludes me. I went with street here, later they will use city clothes for Lancer. I generally liked the original translation, so only made small changes. 流れ literally means 'flow;' since it's an idiom, I used an English idiom.

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「よけいな真似を……なんの流れだ。ヘソ出しか?」
Original: 「That's so unnecessary... What tradition? Showing off his stomach?」
Bob Edit: 「That's so unnecessary... In what vein? Exposed midriff?」
Notes: First Space, Last Space. Changed line to match previous line (doesn't vein sound better? I think so.) and went with 'exposed midriff,' comedy is basically timing and pacing. Here Archer is getting flustered, which will pay off in his next line. よけいな真似を is ehn, 'so unnecessary' doesn't feel right, but I'm not sure what else to translate it to so I left it.

Sixth Line
Japanese: 「もちろん。胸板をはだけてこその美形。[br] ああ、誰かさんはそれ以上脱がなくてもいいわ」
Original: 「Of course. The beauty of exposing one's chest[br] Aah, but there's a certain someone who doesn't need to take off anything else.」
Bob Edit: 「Of course. The beauty of a bared chest.[br] Aah, but it's fine if a certain someone doesn't strip any more.」
Notes: First & Last Space. He's not exposing his chest, he wearing clothing that leaves his chest exposed. The second part one took some consideration. There are several possible jokes that can be made in translation, and I think chose the one that I think is closest to the original text. The heart of the joke is that in F/HA, Archer has removed his coat and is now exposing much more skin. The mental image of Archer doing so in a striptease-like fashion is humorous, and thus the word choice. Rin's motivation for her line is left open enough to interpretation, I suppose I could vague it up a bit more but that would differ more from a literal translation.

Seventh Line
Japanese: 「脱がん」
Original: 「I'm not going to.」
Bob Edit: 「I'm not stripping!」
Notes: First and Last Space. And the punch line, like before, multiple translation based on the set up. I chose this one because it is the closest to the original joke, but there are others that would work. Here the point is to translate the soul of the work, which is to say something funny.


絵馬005.ks.po
First Line
Japanese: 「ライダーの不老不死の姉[br] “長女ステンノ”と“次女エウリュアレ”」
Original: 「Rider's eternally youthful older sisters[br] "The eldest daughter, Stheno" and "the second daughter, Euryale."」
Bob Edit: 「Rider's eternally youthful older sisters,[br] "Eldest Daughter Stheno" and "Second Daughter Euryale."」
Notes: First Space Error. Minor tweaks.

Second Line
Japanese: 「……ところで、この二人は見分ける方法があるのか?」
Original: 「...By the way, is there any way to tell these two apart?」
Bob Edit: 「...By the way, is there any way to tell these two apart?」
Notes: Line break error. Otherwise fine.

Third Line
Japanese: 「違いは、名前と性格だけ。[br] あとは髪の[ruby text=ひと]一[ruby text=ふさ]房、細胞の一つとして違いはないようね。[br][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01g2(中)] もちろん三女ライダーへの愛情も」
Original: 「The only differences are their names and personalities.[br] Besides those, not even a tuft of hair or a single cell is different.[br][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01g2(中)] Of course, their love for the third daughter, Rider, is identical too.」
Bob Edit: 「The only differences are their names and personalities.[br] Not even a strand of hair or a single cell is different.[br][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01g2(中)] Of course, their love for the third daughter, Rider, is identical as well.」
Notes: Line Break Error. I was mostly fine with this translation, it gets the point across well enough. 房、細胞 is odd, I think he is interrupting himself? Something along the lines, 'Not a strand, nay, cell is different.' Whatever, leaving it. Tweaks.

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「……ライダーも気の毒にな」
Original: 「...I feel sorry for Rider.」
Bob Edit: 「......I sympathize with Rider.」
Notes: Line Break Error. Oof, this took me a few. Tohsaka is relating her situation with Sakura to Rider's situation with her sisters. Thus, she 'also' feels bad for Rider, as well as the implied feeling bad for herself. I ended up with sympathize.

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「え、どうして? 綺麗で可愛いお姉さんじゃない」
Original: 「Huh? Why? Her sisters are pretty and cute, aren't they?」
Bob Edit: 「Huh? What do you mean? Aren't her sisters pretty cute?」
Notes: Line Break Error. Punctuation change, hate it, but what can you do? I can't think of an equivalent interjection in English. Went with the more verbose 'what do you mean?' to better imply that Archer doesn't understand what there is to sympathize over, 'why?' doesn't work as well here. ---I don't know what I'm talking about. 'Pretty and cute' is the correct literal translation, but I think it sounds weird, so I went with pretty cute.

Sixth Line
Japanese: 「……気の毒にな」
Original: 「...I really feel sorry for Rider.」
Bob Edit: 「......I really sympathize.」
Notes: First Space, Line Break Error. Changed to sympathize, kept the really. Why? Because the joke works better this way.


絵馬006.ks.po
First Line
Japanese: 「“セラ”と“リーゼリット”の水着ね」
Original: 「It's "Sella" and "Leysritt" in their swimsuits.」
Bob Edit: 「It's "Sella" and "Leysritt" in their swimsuits.」
Notes: Line Break Error. At this point in the translation I remembered that I'm a grammar moron, and fixed a previous "its vs it's" mistake I made. Score one for the original!

Second Line
Japanese: 「ほう。思いのほか似合うものだな。[lr]
Original: 「Oh. It suits them better than I would have expected. [lr]
Bob Edit: 「Oh... It suits them better than you would think.[lr]
Notes: Last Space Error. Casual'd his statement. Punctuation change, the horror! The reason for this is that 'Oh.' in English tends to denote mild surprise, where as 'ほう.' in Japanese tends to denote bemusement. Interjections, the bane of my no-change-in-punctuation policy.

Third Line
Japanese:  二人の髪型もついに判明したわけだ。人によってはそれも大いに嬉しかろう」
Original:  You can finally see what kind of hairstyles they have. This may make some people quite happy.」
Bob Edit:  You can finally see what hairstyles they have. This will undoubtedly make some people very happy.」
Notes: Last Space Error. No need for the 'kind of.' よって and 大いに makes this a stronger statement than the original had.

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「『セラの貧乳っぷりがポイントなんです』って!」
Original: 「I was told, "Small breasts are one of Sella's good points!"」
Bob Edit: 「I'm told that "Sella's small breasts are her selling point!"」
Notes: Line Break Error. Weird line to translate, '*quote*って' is something we don't really have... I guess '*quote* you say?' I changed it to this form because the joke works better this way I think. Strengthened the statement for the sake of the joke. Another option is 'small breasts are the point to Sella!' ...meh, I don't like it.

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「……怒るのか。[chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01h(中)]一笑に付したりはしないのか。[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01c(中)]ふむ。[lr]
Original: 「...Are you angry?[chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01h(中)] Why don't you laugh it off.[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01c(中)] Hmmm.[lr]
Bob Edit: 「......And you're angry.[chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01h(中)] Can't you just laugh it off?[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01c(中)] Hrm.[lr]
Notes: Line Break Error. Joke time. Archer knows Tohsaka is angry, his interrogative here is to push her buttons. As such, a simple statement works better for the first line. Laugh it off is a hard sell for me, but I wound up taking it. ふむ here denotes Archer thinking, but I think a hrm is better than a hmmm. Interjections!

Sixth Line
Japanese:  正直、体型の話題には飽き気味なのだが、ここは千載一遇の機会でもあるし、ひとつ徹底的に[line len=3]」
Original: Honestly, even though I'm getting tired of talking about the figure, this is a once-in-a-million chance to be thorough about it.[line len=3]」
Bob Edit:  To be honest, although I find the subject of body types tiresome, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I'll be thorough... [line len=3]」
Notes: Weird, anti-First Space Error. Also Line Break Error. Mmm, me and the writer link minds and start pretense'ing it up. Why the awkward ending? Well, Archer appears to be interrupted here but Tohsaka, so I did it like that. The joke is that he was about to go into an in depth analysis of Tohsaka's figure, a point he has no doubt teased her on numerous times. So sensitive.

Seventh Line
Japanese: 「死、[wait canskip=0 time=100]に、[se storage=se114.wav][wait canskip=0 time=100][se storage=se114.wav]な、さ〜〜い、[wait canskip=0 time=200][br][se storage=se114.wav][wm canskip=0][wm canskip=0][move textoff=0 time=150 path=(100,0,255)(-41,0,255)(-20,0,255) storage=凛巫女服02c(中) accel=0][se storage=se230.wav][move textoff=0 time=150 path=(-116,0,255)(-203,0,255)(-302,0,255)(-442,0,255) storage=アーチャー神主01j(中) accel=0] いいから一度死んできなさ〜〜い」[wm canskip=0][wm canskip=0][wait canskip=0 time=400][se storage=se155.wav][quake time=1000 vmax=30 hmax=20][wait canskip=0 time=800]
Original: 「D,[wait canskip=0 time=100]I,[se storage=se114.wav][wait canskip=0 time=100][se storage=se114.wav]E~~,[wait canskip=0 time=200][br][se storage=se114.wav][wm canskip=0][wm canskip=0][move textoff=0 time=150 path=(100,0,255)(-41,0,255)(-20,0,255) storage=凛巫女服02c(中) accel=0][se storage=se230.wav][move textoff=0 time=150 path=(-116,0,255)(-203,0,255)(-302,0,255)(-442,0,255) storage=アーチャー神主01j(中) accel=0] Listen up and DIE THREE TIMES~~!!!」[wm canskip=0][wm canskip=0][wait canskip=0 time=400][se storage=se155.wav][quake time=1000 vmax=30 hmax=20][wait canskip=0 time=800]
Bob Edit: 「D,[wait canskip=0 time=100]I,[se storage=se114.wav][wait canskip=0 time=100][se storage=se114.wav]E~~,[wait canskip=0 time=200][br][se storage=se114.wav][wm canskip=0][wm canskip=0][move textoff=0 time=150 path=(100,0,255)(-41,0,255)(-20,0,255) storage=凛巫女服02c(中) accel=0][se storage=se230.wav][move textoff=0 time=150 path=(-116,0,255)(-203,0,255)(-302,0,255)(-442,0,255) storage=アーチャー神主01j(中) accel=0] Please just DIE FOR ONCE~~!!!」[wm canskip=0][wm canskip=0][wait canskip=0 time=400][se storage=se155.wav][quake time=1000 vmax=30 hmax=20][wait canskip=0 time=800]
Notes: Why three times? She clearly says one time. I don't get it.


絵馬007.ks.po
First Line
Japanese: 「“ライダー”の水着、および骨董品店での勤務スタイルか」
Original: 「Rider's swimsuit, and the style of the clothes of the antique store where she works?」
Bob Edit: 「Rider's swimsuit, and is this the uniform style of the antique store where she works?」
Notes: Line Break Error. 'The blah of the blah of the blah where she blah...' just doesn't roll well of the tongue.

Second Line
Japanese: 「艶姿についてはもはや語るまでもないかな。[br] サングラスVer.【中央】は、結局未使用のままお蔵入りになったものだ」
Original: 「There's not much more that needs to be said about such a charming figure.[br] Sunglasses Ver. (Center) got shelved, unused.」
Bob Edit: 「There's not much more that needs to be said about such an alluring figure.[br] The sunglasses version (Center) ended up not being used and was shelved.」
Notes: First and last space error. Alluring rather than charming, your mileage may vary. Archer is speaking in complete sentences here (except for the abbreviation), so I made it more eloquent. Unabbreviated version... I don't know why really, I just had to.

Third Line
Japanese: 「わたしが魔眼封じのコンタクトを試作したからね。[br][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01a(中)] 二十四時間しか持たない使い捨てとはいえ。素材が素材だけに意外と簡単だったな」
Original: 「That's because I fabricated her some prototype Mystic Eye-sealing contacts. [br][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01a(中)] They're 24-hour disposable ones, though. It was surprisingly simple given the materials.」
Bob Edit: 「That's because I made her some prototype Mystic Eye-sealing contacts.[br][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01a(中)] They're just the 24-hour disposable kind, though. It was surprisingly simple given the material.」
Notes: First space error. Fabricated is too strong. Tohsaka being demure here, and fabricated sounds too much like she projected it. Its just one material, which is revealed as the joke continues.

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「なるほど。[br] では、素材はクリスタルガラス。それとも水晶」
Original: 「I see. [br] So they're made from glass. Or is it crystal?」
Bob Edit: 「I see.[br] So you used leaded glass then? Or are they crystal?」
Notes: First/Last Space Error. Weird spacing as well. クリスタルガラス is, as far as I understand, leaded glass. Weird is/are mistake. Why two questions, when the first is a statement? The joke works better this way I think. Archer is pressing her for details, because he thinks it weird for her to have said 'given the material.'

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「ううん、エメラルドよ。[br] ブルージュの研磨師に長年預けてあったちょっと癖のある原石を加工してもらったの」
Original: 「No, Emerald. [br] They were polished for many years in Bruges. They were entrusted with machining such a peculiar ore.」
Bob Edit: 「Neither, they're emerald.[br] They had to be entrusted to the master gemcutters of Bruges for many years due to the peculiarities of machining such a gemstone.」
Notes: Line Break Error. Neither rather than no, since he asked about two things. Joke time. So the set up is that Tohsaka had to do ridiculously complex, and presumably expensive, things to get these contacts put together. I am iffy on the translation here, but I think it works. Tohsaka uses 師 here, which can just mean specialists, and 研磨 which technically means polishers. Gemcutters also polish gemstones, and it sounds fancier and makes more sense for them to be working with emeralds. I could use 'specialist,' but 'master' has a certain arcane sound to it, and conjures imagery of old bearded men on mountain tops, which fits with the joke. "Master gemcutter" has the feel that Tohsaka had to pull favors with the Clocktower just to speak with them, "polishing expert" sounds like she could find them anywhere, so why Bruges?

Sixth Line
Japanese: 「……使い捨てと申されたかな?」
Original: 「...And these were disposable?」
Bob Edit: 「...And these were disposable?」
Notes: Line Break Error. Otherwise fine... oh boy!

Seventh Line
Japanese: 「…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=100]…[wait canskip=0 time=200]…[wait canskip=0 time=800][move spread=1 mx=510 magnify=1 time=100 my=117 path=(497,119,255,1.464)(510,117,255,1) storage=ガーンa accel=0 textoff=0][wm canskip=0][se storage=se203.wav][shock vmax=20 time=300 count=2][chgfg time=200 storage=凛巫女服01f頬(中) textoff=0]あ!」"
Original: 「...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=200]...[wait canskip=0 time=800][move spread=1 mx=510 magnify=1 time=100 my=117 path=(497,119,255,1.464)(510,117,255,1) storage=ガーンa accel=0 textoff=0][wm canskip=0][se storage=se203.wav][shock vmax=20 time=300 count=2][chgfg time=200 storage=凛巫女服01f頬(中) textoff=0]Ah!」
Bob Edit: 「...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=100]...[wait canskip=0 time=200]...[wait canskip=0 time=800][move spread=1 mx=510 magnify=1 time=100 my=117 path=(497,119,255,1.464)(510,117,255,1) storage=ガーンa accel=0 textoff=0][wm canskip=0][se storage=se203.wav][shock vmax=20 time=300 count=2][chgfg time=200 storage=凛巫女服01f頬(中) textoff=0]AH!」
Notes: Line Break Error. *BA-DUM-TISH* In all honesty, I did laugh here. Put AH! in all caps.


絵馬008.ks.po
First Line
Japanese: 「街のあちこちで見かけた“ランサー”の私服【左】とバイト姿ね。[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01d(中) textoff=0]その服替え差分ときたら、女性陣をさしおいて今回最多だそうよ」
Original: 「Lancer wearing his city clothes. (Left)[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01d(中) textoff=0] This is the outfit he spends the most time in when chatting up women.」
Bob Edit: 「Here you can see "Lancer" wearing his city clothes (Left).[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01d(中) textoff=0] When it comes to this outfit, it seems he mostly wears it to try to pick up women.」
Notes: Line Break Error. Tohsaka is speaking in complete sentences here, corrected. I was iffy on the second part, particularly さしおいて, which I guess is idiomatic. Literally translates to 'disregard' I think, but in context I'm going to go with 'pick up.'

Second Line
Japanese: 「【右】のエプロンのは、残念ながら没に。[br] 一応ぬいぐるみ屋さんでの服装ね」
Original: 「The apron on the right was rejected. [br] It was going to be for his job in the stuffed toy store.」
Bob Edit: 「The apron (right) was unfortunately rejected.[br] It was going to be for his job in the stuffed toy store.」
Notes: Line Break Error. Good enough.

Third Line
Japanese: 「中央のギャルソン姿は、[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01f(中)][shock vmax=20 time=250 count=4]新たなクラス誕生かっ!?[br][wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01l(中)] とゆーくらい似合ってるわね。[br][wait canskip=0 time=600][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01m(中)][move textoff=0 time=200 path=(442,44,255)(454,44,255)(427,44,255)(454,44,2 55) storage=凛巫女服01m(中) accel=-2][wm canskip=0] アンタも頑張れ?」
Original: 「The centeral outfit is for a garcon, [wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01f(中)][shock vmax=20 time=250 count=4]a new class is born!? [br][wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01l(中)] It suits you. [br][wait canskip=0 time=600][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01m(中)][move textoff=0 time=200 path=(442,44,255)(454,44,255)(427,44,255)(454,44,2 55) storage=凛巫女服01m(中) accel=-2][wm canskip=0] Good luck?」
Bob Edit: 「That 'garηon' outfit in the center...[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01f(中)][shock vmax=20 time=250 count=4] could this be the birth of a new servant class!? [br][wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01l(中)] Anyway, it doesn't look half bad.[br][wait canskip=0 time=600][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01m(中)][move textoff=0 time=200 path=(442,44,255)(454,44,255)(427,44,255)(454,44,2 55) storage=凛巫女服01m(中) accel=-2][wm canskip=0] Why don't you give it a try?」
Notes: Line Break Error. Joke time! This one was a hard one, the joke here is that garηon, being a foreign word, sounds like a new servant class. I didn't get it at first. I decided to go with the special character in garηon, because I think it better conveys the joke. It sounds special, therefore it must be special! Comedy! Hopefully this displays correctly. Why the punctuation change? I don't think a comma properly represents the phrasing here, your mileage may vary. Why did I change the second sentence to a negative when it is clearly a positive? Well, Tohsaka is being very casual here, and in English that usually means a double negative. I could go with 'it looks pretty good' or 'its kinda cute' as well... ehn. Some liberties, but I like it.

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「魚屋ふぜいと張り合いたくはない」
Original: 「I don't want to compete with a lowly fishmonger.」
Bob Edit: 「I'm not competing with a lowly fishmonger.」
Notes: First and Last Space Error. It isn't that he doesn't want to, he isn't gonna.

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「さかにゃ?」
Original: 「What?」
Bob Edit: 「What?」
Notes: Line Break Error. Ehn, good enough. If I wrote 'Fishmonger?' it would sound like she doesn't understand the term. The joke is that she doesn't get what Archer is getting at.


絵馬009.ks.po
Verified so I didn't change it, but there are numerous errors. Assuming we want to keep the translation, in the first line has a quotation punctuation error and short space error. The second line has a short space error and last punctuation error. The third line should be at the very least "Tsun-tsun-tsun-tsun-de-re-re-re-re-re*twitch*", and to be accurate to the original it should be "Tsunde-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re*twitch*" (Digression: This is important, since ツンツン has a particular meaning, one that the term ツンデレ is in fact derived from. ツンツンツンツンデレレレレレ would translate to something like "scold-scold-love-ve-ve-ve-ve.") Also the final line has a last punctuation error. Because it is my wont, here is a Bob edit version.
First Line
Japanese: 「さて“キャスター”だな。[br]  原画担当は『表情差分がやたら多くて苦労しました……』とのこと」
Original: 「So, it's "Caster".[br] The character designer said something like: "I had to work hard, as she has an excessive amount of different expressions."」
Bob Edit: 「So now it's "Caster."[br]  According to the designer, "The varied expressions was the most difficult part......"」
Notes: 'According to the designer' is more consistent with the earlier translations. Returned to the original punctuation and cut down on verbosity.

Second Line
Japanese: 「……確かに。[br] 本編とのギャップが極端に出たわね」
Original: 「....Indeed, she does.[br] In stark contrast to the original work」
Bob Edit: 「......I would imagine.[br] There's a huge difference between this version and the original story.」
Notes: Maybe too verbose now. Technically the word is 'gap,' not difference, but I think difference works here.

Third Line
Japanese: 「比率で言うと[line len=3][br][chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01d(中),凛巫女服01i(中)][shock vmax=20 time=500 count=15] 《ツンデレレレレレレレレレピキ》ぐらい」
Original: 「In other words[line len=3][br][chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01d(中),凛巫女服01i(中)][shock vmax=20 time=500 count=15]《Tsun- tsun- tsun- tsun- de-re- re-re- rere-*twitch*》」
Bob Edit: 「In terms of proportion, its now at[chgfg time=300 storage=アーチャー神主01d(中),凛巫女服01i(中)][shock vmax=20 time=500 count=15] 《Tsunde-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re*twitch*》 level.」
Notes: This is why I want to change the translation. This joke just got murdered in translation. The joke here is that now caster is a million times more Tsundere then she was in F/SN, and that just doesn't come across in the version that's up now.

Fourth Line
Japanese: 「ピキか」
Original: 「Twitch, you say?」
Bob Edit: 「With a twitch?」
Notes: I know he said twitch, but I think it flows better this way.

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「ピキよ」
Original: 「Twitch, indeed」
Bob Edit: 「With a twitch.」
Notes: As above.


絵馬010.ks.po
Hoo boy. Come back to this one after the first nine, I thought it would look prettier, but nope. This was actually kind of hard, a fair number of idioms and terms I wasn't exactly familiar with. I took a few liberties, and some of the terms might be exact, but it is a sure hell of a lot better than the original.


First Line
Japanese: 「魔道の名門・時計塔の才媛[line len=3][br] “ルヴィアゼリッタ・エーデルフェルト”」
Original: 「The magus from a noble lineage. The Clock Tower's female prodigy[line len=3][br] "Luviagelita Edelfelt".」
Bob Edit: 「Clock Tower's female prodigy and high-born magus,[line len=3][br] "Luviagelita Edelfelt".」
Notes: Line Break Error. 魔道 is odd, its not the official term for magus (魔術師) or magician (魔法使い). On the wiki its translated as 'Wizard' for Zelretch, and most of the other mentions of it just aren't translated. I left it as magus for now, even though that is wrong. I changed the order of the first line and removed the punctuation, this is to avoid having to put an 'a' or a 'the' in front of high-born magus. Technically she is just one of many high-born magi in the Nasuverse (Tohsaka is one as well), but putting 'a' in front of her introduction is flippant, where Archer is being reverent here.

Second Line
Japanese: 「……あらためて呼びあげてみると、秋の新作ケーキみたいな名前だわ」
Original: 「...Now that I say it again, it sounds kinda like the name of some new autumn cake.」
Bob Edit: 「...Now that I hear you say that name again, it sounds like a new fall cake.」
Notes: First and Last Space Error. Iffy on this one, but I think I got the gist. 呼びあげてみる more accurately translates to 'try to say' or 'test out' (in the sense that he is struggling with the name). I tried putting that in, and it just didn't read right, so I cut it.

Third Line
Japanese: 「『期待の新キャラ。袖無しと袖あり二つのデザインを描いてシナリオ担当に見せたところ、どちらも使う!  ということで袖引きちぎりエピソードが生まれました。
Original: 「"The expectation of a new character. Two designs, one with sleeves, one without. When they were showed, 'Use Both!' was the response. And that is how the sleeve-tearing scene was born.
Bob Edit: 「"The anticipated new character. When I showed two designs to the person in charge, one with sleeves and the other without, he said to use both! And that is how the sleeve-tearing scene was born.
Notes: Line Break Error. Eww. I think this is much better.

Fourth Line
Japanese:  デザインのポイントはオレンジの髪と白ブーツ』[br] [line len=3]と原画担当は語っている」
Original: The design point was the orange hair and white boots."[br] [line len=3]So says the original design creator.」
Bob Edit:  The point of the design was the orange hair and white boots."[br] [line len=3]Or so says the designer.」
Notes: First Space Error. Line Break Error.

Fifth Line
Japanese: 「え[line len=3][lr]
Original: 「Eh[line len=3][lr]
Bob Edit: 「Huh.[line len=3][lr]
Notes: Line Break Error.

Sixth Line
Japanese:  そんな酔っぱらいトークの果てに、わたしはブン投げられたわけ?[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01f(中)][shock vmax=20 time=500 count=10] ていうか無理があるでしょ気づけー!」
Original: And so at the end of that drunken talk, I haven't exploded? [wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01f(中)][shock vmax=20 time=500 count=10] It's impossible not to!」
Bob Edit:  And after such a clearly drunk speech, what's the reason for me getting thrown around?[wait canskip=0 time=400][chgfg time=300 storage=凛巫女服01f(中)][shock vmax=20 time=500 count=10] I mean, it should be obvious that's the absurd part!
Notes: First Space Error. Line Break Error. Ah, the line that started this whole adventure. Why 'clearly?' Well, because the sentence doesn't make as much sense without it. I'm iffy on translating 気づけー as "should be obvious," but I went with it.

Seventh Line
Japanese: 「いやいや、そう興奮めさるな。プロレスリング[line len=3]ルヴィア嬢の意外な[ruby text=たしな]嗜みについては、当初の設定通りだ。きみがブン投げられる運命は微動だにしない」
Original: 「No no, don't get so excited. Miss Luvia is [line len=3]surprisingly good at pro-wrestling, and her temper is just like in the original setting. Your explosion will not change your destiny one inch.」
Bob Edit: 「Now now, don't get so agitated. Miss Luvia is [line len=3]surprisingly accomplished at pro-wrestling, as was established in the first game. Wasn't your 'getting thrown around' fate just a small step away?」
Notes: Line Break Error. Okay, wow. Anyway, I'm unsure whether I should reference the fact that this is a game here, 4th wall and all, but its a comedy bit, and they at least meet me half-way. 微動だにしない is a tough one, another idiom, so I used an English idiom.

Eighth Line
Japanese: 「……なにげに嬉しそうね」
Original: 「...Why are you so happy about it?」
Bob Edit: 「......Why do you seem so happy?」
Notes: Line Break Error. なにげに is interesting, I actually never heard it before today, or at least, I can't recall hearing it. Anyway, it means 'for no special reason.' I think 'seem' works here.

Ninth Line
Japanese: 「ただ彼女であれば、いずれは“袖の着脱自在なドレス”という合理的な結論に至るのも造作なかろうと、そう いう見解に達したまでだ」
Original: 「It's just that, they never reached a conclusion on how the sleeves on her "detachable-sleeve-dress" are attached.」
Bob Edit: 「It's just that I was thinking, what with her being her, she will eventually reach the practical solution of simply wearing a removable sleeve dress.」
Notes: Line Break Error. Huh, translation isn't as easy as I thought. I think I've got it though. Due to popular request, I've changed to a more literal translation here, and with some reworking, I think I manage to keep the jovial nature.

Tenth Line
Japanese: 「どんな並行世界だろうと、そんな結論は[line len=3]」
Original: 「In what sort of parallel world would they actually reach the conclusion? [line len=3]」
Bob Edit: 「In what parallel world is that a solution?[line len=3]」
Notes: Line Break Error. Last Space Error.

Eleventh Line
Japanese: 「まあ、きっかけはともかくだ。[br] [ruby text=はた]端で見ていると、君らの関係は近親憎悪そのものだぞ? 投げ合ううちに育まれる友情もある」
Original: 「Well, it never happened. [br] Anyway, do you two have the sort of relationship where you dislike each-other when you're close together, but are friends when apart?」
Bob Edit: 「Well, in a way, it could be.[br] Actually, when I examine it closely, your relationship is one where you hate each other when you are apart, but become friends when you are together. Amongst all this competitive tossing about, there is also camaraderie.」
Notes: Line Break Error. Okay, I lost myself on this one. 近親憎悪 is a relationship term which I'm not sure if I get. I think I have the gist, but is there a proximity element? The last sentence is... interesting. There is a sort of pun here in "投げ合う," because of the literal throwing going on. I think he is using the phrase idiomatically though? Throwing towards one another... hrmmm. Anyway, I think I got it, but this section is fuzzy.
Addendum: Is my phrasing here too idiosyncratic? I can simplify it if necessary.

Twelfth Line
Japanese: 「ない。[lr]
Original: 「No. [lr]
Bob Edit: 「No.[lr]
Notes: Last Space Error.

Thirteenth Line
Japanese:  吸い込み系のフレンドシップなんて[shock vmax=20 time=400 count=10]認めない認めたくない!」
Original: Letting her suck me into being friends [shock vmax=20 time=400 count=10]I will not allow it!」
Bob Edit: A suction-like relationship...[shock vmax=20 time=400 count=10]I wont accept it, I will not accept it!」
Notes: Weird, my notes here got deleted. Translating 系 to -like is iffy, it can be used for a corollary, and I think I capture the meaning here.

Fourteenth Line
Japanese: 「これはあくまで一般的な助言だが……[br] 将来背中を取られあう、もとい、背中を預けあう相手を悪く言うものではないな」
Original: 「This is strictly general advice...[br] If you ever meet her in the future, talk about her behind her back, instead of to her face.」
Bob Edit: 「This is strictly general advice but...[br] Don't speak badly of the person you pick, or rather, companion you entrust your back to.」
Notes: The trick here is where to put Archer's self-correction. I don't know if I maximized the comedic timing here, it might take a few edits.

Fifteenth Line
Japanese: 「いぃぃやぁぁぁぁ〜〜」
Original: 「Noooooooooo〜〜」
Bob Edit: 「Noooooooooo〜〜」
Notes: Line Break Error.

Mcjon01
May 14th, 2014, 02:22 AM
http://i.imgur.com/jt150Hm.png

Paitouch
May 14th, 2014, 02:30 AM
A thread of TL notes.

Mcjon01
May 14th, 2014, 02:40 AM
Also the シナリオ担当 is Nasu. I don't think he's started multiplying yet. :p

- - - Updated - - -

Also, keep in mind that these are the game characters talking about the game's production, so watch out for pronouns.

Like this one:

Japanese: 「『期待の新キャラ。袖無しと袖あり二つのデザインを描いてシナリオ担当に見せたところ、どち らも使う!  ということで袖引きちぎりエピソードが生まれました。
Original: 「"The expectation of a new character. Two designs, one with sleeves, one without. When they were showed, 'Use Both!' was the response. And that is how the sleeve-tearing scene was born.
Bob Edit: 「"The anticipated new character. When I showed two designs to the higher ups, one with sleeves and the other without, they said to use both! And that is how the sleeve-tearing scene was born.


Archer is talking about the design being presented to Nasu, and obviously (hopefully?) Archer wasn't the one doing the presenting.

- - - Updated - - -

Wait I missed the quote, nevermind.

- - - Updated - - -

The quote in the quote I mean.

- - - Updated - - -

Sorry about that. (I got a little disoriented by all the spoiler boxes.)

aldeayeah
May 14th, 2014, 07:41 AM
hey, emas, cool

As Mcjon implied, the naked mantle thing that brings a "curry girl" to mind is the KT design of Roa-Ciel.

bobtheapple
May 14th, 2014, 01:34 PM
Image
This is probably the most impressive thing I've seen all year. In the course if 6 minutes, not only did you peruse a list of translation notes with at least a moderate level of comprehension, but you knew exactly the image I lacked, nay, needed to see. And then, without saying a word you provided it. This is approaching the limits that humans are normally restricted to, and now I have witnessed a small glimmer of your divinity. Thank you. I was incredulous upon viewing your thread requesting compensation, but I can tell now it is well deserved... A tribute has been paid.

絵馬010 is kind of a work in progress. I'm not happy with how it worked out, so I will probably go over it again in the coming week. Denoting who is saying a quote after the quote has been said is an oddity that hardly ever appears in the English language, but I felt I was restricted by the line break in this case... I'll move it to before the quote to be clear. In regards to シナリオ担当, I intended to be vague. After all, they don't refer to Nasu by name, and the implication is that, in a way, they putting on airs... as in they are trying to imply that they aren't the Micky Mouse operation that we all know them to be. Regardless, I will edit this to be "the person in charge," cutting down from the oh-so-wordy "person in charge of the scenario."

Actually, with the moving up the reference to who is being quoted, I reach a technical conundrum. What exactly does "[line len=3]" do? Should I leave it on the lower line or should I move it up, keeping it with the citation?

Kotonoha
May 14th, 2014, 01:46 PM
綺麗で in this context means completely
Are you sure, because in this context I think she just means the sisters are 綺麗.


Actually, with the moving up the reference to who is being quoted, I reach a technical conundrum. What exactly does "[line len=3]" do? Should I leave it on the lower line or should I move it up, keeping it with the citation?
Those are, those lines that Nasu likes to use so much―――――!■


Regardless, I will edit this to be "the person in charge," cutting down from the oh-so-wordy "person in charge of the scenario."
Could always just say the writer.

Kotonoha
May 14th, 2014, 02:21 PM
Japanese: 「ただ彼女であれば、いずれは“袖の着脱自在なドレス”という合理的な結論に至るのも造作なか ろうと、そう いう見解に達したまでだ」
Original: 「It's just that, they never reached a conclusion on how the sleeves on her "detachable-sleeve-dress" are attached.」
Bob Edit: 「It's just that, if she were here, I have a feeling that eventually you'd have no trouble saying that a "removable sleeve dress" is a logical conclusion to arrive at.」
Notes: Line Break Error. Huh, translation isn't as easy as I thought. I think I've got it though. The implication, as far as I understand it, is that given enough time, Rin and Luvia would come to agree on the same point, because they are so much alike.
I think what's actually being suggested is that Luvia might someday come up with the more practical idea of a dress with detachable sleeves (her actual dresses don't have detachable sleeves, she just rips them off). Also "彼女であれば" doesn't mean "if she were here".


When I showed two designs to the higher ups,
Higher-ups is just Nasu the writer again, not multiple people.

bobtheapple
May 14th, 2014, 05:07 PM
Are you sure, because in this context I think she just means the sisters are 綺麗.
I am under the impression that the で in '綺麗で可愛い' is referencing a totalization of 可愛い, that is to say the first word is how much of the second word there is, and that 'pretty and cute' would be '綺麗と可愛い.' Am I wrong? In any case, 'pretty and cute' doesn't read well, so I would still prefer to use this translation even if it is not absolute.


I think what's actually being suggested is that Luvia might someday come up with the more practical idea of a dress with detachable sleeves (her actual dresses don't have detachable sleeves, she just rips them off). Also "彼女であれば" doesn't mean "if she were here".
Hrmmm, that makes sense. As I mentioned before, I don't think I did a good job on number 10, so it could use some reworking. I'm drunk at the moment, but would something like:
「It's just, I have a feeling that if you were her you'd have no trouble coming up with the more practical solution of just wearing a removable sleeve dress.」
be more accurate? The comedy here is that Tohsaka and Luvia think a lot alike, and are in fact very similar people though they are loath to admit it. I don't think that Archer's line here is a digression, and thus must be relating Tohsaka and Luvia to some degree. Tohsaka's reply would change correspondingly.


Higher-ups is just Nasu the writer again, not multiple people.

Could always just say the writer.
Oops, forgot to update this thread with my edit. This is the same line that Mcjon01 pointed out earlier, which I fixed on entrans but not here. I'm sticking with person in charge I think, writer would deviate too much from the original text imo. But if there is a general consensus that I'm insane (one surprisingly easy to reach) I'll change it to your version.


Those are, those lines that Nasu likes to use so much―――――!■
Actually, with that in mind it may be inappropriate to move up the citation as I intended. Clearly, Archer is trailing off here, and, in a way, backing out of the statement in response to Tohsaka's apparent rage. I suppose I'll leave it the way it is, and mull it over for now.

Mcjon01
May 14th, 2014, 05:18 PM
For what it's worth I always just go with scenario director and art director, which might not be the most precise translation but is useful given that they're pretty snappy terms and Nasu and Takeuchi like telling stories about themselves in the third person. Of course, you're free to handle it however you like.

Also, na-adjectives are linked with "de", yes, "to" is for nouns.

Kotonoha
May 14th, 2014, 05:23 PM
I am under the impression that the で in '綺麗で可愛い' is referencing a totalization of 可愛い, that is to say the first word is how much of the second word there is, and that 'pretty and cute' would be '綺麗と可愛い.' Am I wrong? In any case, 'pretty and cute' doesn't read well, so I would still prefer to use this translation even if it is not absolute.
Mmmmm nope. You don't connect adjectives with "と", you use the conjunctive form, which for 綺麗 would be で (if the adjectives were the other way around it'd be 可愛くて綺麗なお姉さん if that makes more sense).

edit: sniped thanks mcbama


Hrmmm, that makes sense. As I mentioned before, I don't think I did a good job on number 10, so it could use some reworking. I'm drunk at the moment, but would something like:
「It's just that I have a feeling that, if you were her, you'd eventually have no trouble reaching the logical conclusion of wearing a "removable sleeve dress."」
or
「It's just that I think that, with her being her, eventually she will reach the logical conclusion of a just wearing a "removable sleeve dress."」
be more accurate? Personally, I think the 'if you were her' one works best, at least as far as the joke is concerned.
I think the second one is closer because he's not saying "if you were her", I don't think there's any joke involving that.

bobtheapple
May 14th, 2014, 05:55 PM
Hmmm, I stand corrected. Some times my inability to grasp simple concepts outstands me. Still, I don't think 'pretty and cute' sounds right in English. How about I split the difference and use 'pretty cute?'

I edited my explanation of why I think the first statement works better for the joke since you posted... but if you are certain its the latter I'll use that. It just sounds like a digression to me, not that people don't digress. I remember a time when I...

Addendum: I think I've got it, more literal while keeping the jovial nature intact.

Mcjon01
May 14th, 2014, 05:58 PM
I once stared at two adjectives next to each other for a whole fifteen minutes before I remembered that で was the conjunctive form. True story.

I... don't want to say when this happened. :|

Commander Raze
May 14th, 2014, 10:20 PM
thanks mcbama
Taking this.

Jacktheinfinite101
May 15th, 2014, 01:38 AM
Taking this.

Ehh, I've heard better using my own last name (Fazzino).

"Thanks Fazzinobama"

Commander Raze
May 15th, 2014, 10:44 AM
Reason is because it fits him.