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Mereo Flere
May 10th, 2011, 02:39 AM
"Sharkura" by Mereo Flere

A/N: This is all you need to know.


If you're sure you want to know...

http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/8844/sharkura.jpg

And now you know... And you might possibly be unable to forget.

XXX

I held no particular love for the man known as Zouken, but I never really hated him either. He was part of our family – an old part – but to be honest I had never been really concerned about him. He showed up what he wanted to, did whatever he wanted to, and more or less left me alone. Sure, there was no doubt he had committed countless sins in his lifetime, but that was practically expected for a magus. Besides, it wasn't as though he had done any of those things to me personally…until now that is.

Damn it, Zouken.

"I refuse," I told him, angrily crossing my arms over my chest. "There's no way you're getting to me to do that with that," I continued, gesturing at the pit the two of us were standing besides.

The man shook his head as he reached out with a wrinkled hand, placing it on my shoulder. I brushed it off immediately, shivering as I touched his rotten body with my bare hand. "I understand you have concerns about this," he said, unbothered by my reaction to his "skinship." "But I assure you, this is for our family's best interests, Shinji."

"No," I said, remaining firm in my resolve. "This is… this is just wrong."

"Don't worry, it's consensual," he said, trying to reassure me. It didn't, not one single bit. "She's waiting for you."

My eyes twitched as I glance over to 'her' – and I didn't have to look in a mirror to know that I had started to scowl. I had no doubt that 'she' was waiting for me, but that didn't mean I had any intention to answer the call. "It's not consensual at all!" I said as I stomped my foot. "In fact, I'm opposed to this completely all the way, right from the start, forever and ever, and everything in between!"

Zouken sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. I couldn't say that it bothered me in the least to betray his expectations. "Is this because it's your sister?" he asked me, looking into the pool of water inside of the pit.

My eye twitched. "I refuse to accept that thing as my sister!" I said, pointing dramatically at the pool – or, more importantly, what was swimming inside of it. Even in this dim light, I could still make out the fin circling around the center of the pool.

"Then I don't see what the problem is," Zouken said, with a frown. "It's not like it is actually incest. She's only adopted, anyway, so it's not like it would be even a crime."

"It absolutely is a crime!" I said, glaring at him. "It's a crime against humanity! It's a crime against nature! Most importantly, it's a crime against me!"

"Aren't you exaggerating a little?" Zouken asked, raising a brow.

"It's a goddamn shark! A man eating great white shark!"

"That's a little harsh," Zouken said with a frown. "Sure, she has her faults, but look! She has a wonderful smile. Look at all of those teeth she has."

"Those are for eating people! It'll use them to eat me!"

"Then you can just pay her back her kindness by eating her as well," he said as he stroked his chin. I didn't want to even consider what he was referring to; my poor mind wouldn't be able to take it. "Don't worry about being inadequate lover; I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"I'll die!" I shouted, though to be honest I should have realized by then that it wouldn't have reached him. The bastard was senile and crazy, unable to tell the difference between a goddamn person and a freaking shark.

"Nonsense," Zouken said, fanning his hand. "Have more confidence in yourself."

"No amount of confidence will keep me from getting eaten by a goddamn shark!"

"Shinji," Zouken said, obviously getting impatient. "Just get down there and fuck your sister."

Once again, I cross my arms. "I refuse!" I declared, glaring at him. On this issue alone, I refused to budge. I had my pride as a man – and, barring that, my dignitiy as a person who didn't try to fuck sharks – on the line after all.

Zouken stared back at me, giving me another once over. No doubt he saw I was serious for once – that no amount of persuasion would convince me to go down there. "Well then," he said with a shrug. "I guess you leave me with no choice."

I smiled. For a moment, I believed he had finally seen the truth for what it was – a goddamn freaking shark that would eat anybody that went down there. "So, does that mean you're going to give up?"

"Give up?" he said, raising a brow as though it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard in his life. "I. AM. ZOUKEN."

…and, just like in a scene from a certain movie, the old man stepped forward – raising his foot in preparation to kick me down the pit. Fortunately for myself, I had seen 300 (and over a dozen parody videos of this exact scene on youtube), and easily sidestepped his attack.

"Damn you Shinji!" he shouted at me, as he stumbled around, trying to regain his balance.

"Damn yourself!" I yelled, before kicking him down the pit like he had tried to do to me. Flailing his arms as he fell over the edge, Zouken disappeared from my sight – and, a few seconds later, I heard the splash of a body hitting the water.

A curious part of me wanted to see if he had survived the fall. Most of me, though, just didn't really care – and so I quickly decided to turn around and walk out of this creepy ass basement.

Unfortunately for my sanity, however, I wasn't able to leave this place fast enough.

"What a useless boy, that Shinji," echoed Zouken's voice from the well, answering the question of his survival. "Well, no matter, I'll just take matters into my own hands. What's that, Sharkura? Suck your dick? Don't mind if I do!"

...damn it, Zouken.

Lotus Saint
May 10th, 2011, 02:45 AM
*claps*

amado
May 10th, 2011, 02:46 AM
better than I imagined it would be. though that last part....

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 02:46 AM
*Smug Face*
MY art, right there.

Good show, old bean. Good show.

Mereo Flere
May 10th, 2011, 02:49 AM
*Smug Face*
MY art, right there.

Good show, old bean. Good show.

I must say, it was an exceptionally wonderful picture.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 02:50 AM
Gah, you're making me blush.

Lotus Saint
May 10th, 2011, 02:51 AM
Gotta love IRUN's insanity.

amado
May 10th, 2011, 02:52 AM
shinji was pretty epic in this fic as well.

Counterguardian
May 10th, 2011, 02:57 AM
I gotta admit, you and IRUn should team up some more.

The crack that results is simply wonderful.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 02:58 AM
Hold up a second, my Idea Gremlins are coming up with something~

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 03:18 AM
Double-Post, but here:

Emiya Manateerou.
http://sadpanda.us/images/474236-LHRLKTI.png

BAD END: Gets hit by a motorboat while cruising around off the coast of Florida.


H-CG!
(NSFW)
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a97/KratosIrving/ManiteePwnsSharkFateversion.jpg
Credit for the porn goes to KratosIrving.

lethum
May 10th, 2011, 03:20 AM
Ah, young love.

Mereo Flere
May 10th, 2011, 03:25 AM
Hmph.

Unlimited Bait Works > Heaven's Seal

Tohsaka Fin is the superior love interest.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 03:29 AM
DAT TUNA.

Then who's Saber? 0__o

Mereo Flere
May 10th, 2011, 03:34 AM
A dragonfish, of course.

meevanhelot
May 10th, 2011, 03:42 AM
http://svg.kyon.pl/static/img/remiq.net_16569.jpg

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 03:49 AM
A dragonfish, of course.

I KNEW IT!

Arturia Pendragonfish.


Also:

Unlimited Bait Works
http://sadpanda.us/images/474276-OI0QNGV.png
"Beach on your ideals and die."

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 04:05 AM
I am simply amazed. Between the art and the story I very may well need a new pair of pants.

Counterguardian
May 10th, 2011, 04:18 AM
I KNEW IT!

Arturia Pendragonfish.


Also:

http://sadpanda.us/images/474276-OI0QNGV.png
"Drown in your ideals and die."

In this case, wouldn't it be "beach on your ideals and die"?

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 04:19 AM
Fix'd.

Eveonder
May 10th, 2011, 04:23 AM
I thought those things were mammals... Beaching just mean they get to breathe and have sex.

Keyne
May 10th, 2011, 04:24 AM
OH DEAR GOD! THAT'S HILARIOUS!

lantzblades
May 10th, 2011, 04:31 AM
Ow crap, the fic was...good but the stuff after it. my brain...ow!

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 04:35 AM
I thought those things were mammals... Beaching just mean they get to breathe and have sex.

But manatees dry out if they go onto the land. Mammals they may be, they need to hang around in the water in order to thrive. Their flippers aren't powerful enough to move their mass on the dry land.

Eveonder
May 10th, 2011, 04:43 AM
Ah, I thought it was a sea lion but it's actually a sea cow... I see, I see.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 04:54 AM
Yeah. Manatees are pretty helpless out of the water. That's one of the reasons they're so endagered. That and they're REALLY slow.

ringlhach
May 10th, 2011, 04:55 AM
<- still hung up on the idea of Ilya as a seal

Counterguardian
May 10th, 2011, 04:59 AM
That and they're REALLY slow.

So that's the reason why you picked a manatee for Shirou then huh?

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 05:09 AM
<- still hung up on the idea of Ilya as a seal

http://cute-n-tiny.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/baby-seal.jpg
*Die Lorelei plays as BGM*
"Onii-chan..."
I'd say it fits.



So that's the reason why you picked a manatee for Shirou then huh?

Actually, you can blame KratosIrving for that one. >_>;

Eveonder
May 10th, 2011, 05:10 AM
D'awwww...

Prince Arjuna
May 10th, 2011, 05:19 AM
I lose my eyes, and intestine due to excessive laughter... I blame you guys.

bakapervert
May 10th, 2011, 07:49 AM
This is the real art.

Ivan The Mouse
May 10th, 2011, 07:55 AM
Make a whole route!

99ya
May 10th, 2011, 08:04 AM
What. The hell did I just read?

Milbunk
May 10th, 2011, 08:25 AM
A masterpiece.

99ya
May 10th, 2011, 08:29 AM
I have the sudden urge to see the lemon(?) scene

Erlkonig
May 10th, 2011, 08:49 AM
Oh god my brain lobes

Elf
May 10th, 2011, 08:49 AM
I loled!

Also, completely trivia note here, showing I am in fact a giant nerd, but male sharks and rays possess two penises called claspers. The way they mate is basically rape too. The male shark bites onto the female shark and she thrashes like mad to get him the fuck out. Now, here's the really creepy part.

Most sharks give live birth and have two wombs, there are a few who do lay eggs. However, the male fertilizes many eggs and there are many shark babies, but only two are born. One from each womb. What happens to those other shark pups in there? Well, the two sharks that are born have to eat some how you know and they're not getting nutrients from Mamma Shark.

Erlkonig
May 10th, 2011, 08:53 AM
I loled!

Also, completely trivia note here, showing I am in fact a giant nerd, but male sharks and rays possess two penises called claspers. The way they mate is basically rape too. The male shark bites onto the female shark and she thrashes like mad to get him the fuck out. Now, here's the really creepy part.

Most sharks give live birth and have two wombs, there are a few who do lay eggs. However, the male fertilizes many eggs and there are many shark babies, but only two are born. One from each womb. What happens to those other shark pups in there? Well, the two sharks that are born have to eat some how you know and they're not getting nutrients from Mamma Shark.

I knew that the babies ate each other in the womb, but I didn't know sharks had two penises. Nor did I knew they raped the female.

Mind = Blown

Kotonoha
May 10th, 2011, 09:01 AM
THIS FIC THIS FIC THIS FIC THIS FIC

THIS FIC IS AWESOME?

99ya
May 10th, 2011, 09:04 AM
two penises

TWO PENISES
TWO PENISES
TWO PENISES

WHAT.

Kotonoha
May 10th, 2011, 09:06 AM
I already knew about the two penises and the babby shark cannibalism. *smug*

I kind of figured a lot of animal mating is pretty rapey though.

While we're talking about weird animal reproduction trivia, did you know: female hyenas have a 6-inch long clitoris that resembles a penis? And they give birth through it?

hero
May 10th, 2011, 09:11 AM
The hell did I just read...?

DreamsRequiem
May 10th, 2011, 09:12 AM
The most insane crack you will ever read

hero
May 10th, 2011, 09:14 AM
The most insane crack you will ever read

While we're talking about weird animal reproduction trivia, did you know: female hyenas have a 6-inch long clitoris that resembles a penis? And they give birth through it?

... My life won't be the same anymore.

Grant
May 10th, 2011, 09:31 AM
http://cute-n-tiny.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/baby-seal.jpg
*Die Lorelei plays as BGM*
"Onii-chan..."
I'd say it fits.




Actually, you can blame KratosIrving for that one. >_>;

Now I'm getting flashbacks to those Coca-Cola commercials, the ones with the CGI polar bears and seals?


... My life won't be the same anymore.


This Is Why You Shouldn't Read


Hmmm. Now that I think about it, a crack fic featuring mad sorcerers actually has potential, the older you are the nuttier you are.

Theocrass
May 10th, 2011, 09:35 AM
That was hilarious. I feel bad for reading it.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 09:37 AM
Illyaseal Von Einzbern is moe.



And animal-mating is WEIRD.

Kotonoha
May 10th, 2011, 09:37 AM
Too bad she is fated to get clubbed in every route. :(

Keyne
May 10th, 2011, 09:38 AM
Illyaseal Von Einzbern is moe.



And animal-mating is WEIRD.
B..but wouldn't that make Gilgamesh a drunken seal hunter? ;C;

ringlhach
May 10th, 2011, 09:51 AM
B..but wouldn't that make Gilgamesh a drunken seal hunter? ;C;

Not just a drunken seal hunter, the drunken seal hunter.

Or maybe a polar bear (sorry, Theo).

Theocrass
May 10th, 2011, 09:52 AM
You are not forgiven. D:

99ya
May 10th, 2011, 09:52 AM
While we're talking about weird animal reproduction trivia, did you know: female hyenas have a 6-inch long clitoris that resembles a penis? And they give birth through it?

[99ya BRAIN CORRUPTED]
[PLEASE INSERT A SUBSTITUTE BRAIN TO AVOID FURTHER DAMAGE TO IMAGINATION]

ringlhach
May 10th, 2011, 10:16 AM
You are not forgiven. D:

;_; But... all I did was make an analogy for their habits...

Elyrin
May 10th, 2011, 10:18 AM
Oh, my poor brain...

Tobias
May 10th, 2011, 10:25 AM
Gah! its like a knife driven straight into my sanity!

FlameStrike
May 10th, 2011, 11:37 AM
AHdfasdf Holyshit! This fic needs a more disclaiming disclaimer! WARNING: MIND WILL BE BLOWN!

Altima of the Gates
May 10th, 2011, 11:40 AM
This reminds me of an April Fools prank me, Elf and Road were thinking of doing, and renaming the forum,

The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau.

But yes, my brain...
Follow up fic should be The Undersea World of Kirei Cousteau.

SeiKeo
May 10th, 2011, 12:48 PM
Whatever you're smoking, gimme some. Seems good.

Kotollama
May 10th, 2011, 01:11 PM
this
thread
is
very
wonderful.

so, it's time for biology!
http://exiledonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/hyena-clitoris1.jpg
http://sciencetrio.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/hyena_graphic2.jpg?w=139&h=150
http://www.organicjewelry.com/PenisGourds.jpg

AHEUIOAEHAEUIOHAEUIOAEHAEIOUAEHIOAEUHAEUIOAEHIOAEU HAEIOUAEH!!!
http://exiledonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/hyena-laughing1.jpg

Milbunk
May 10th, 2011, 01:11 PM
I think Berserker would be a Killer Whale

http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/articles/aqua/Killer_Whale.jpg

All fear the might of Whaleserker!

Kotonoha
May 10th, 2011, 01:16 PM
AHEUIOAEHAEUIOHAEUIOAEHAEIOUAEHIOAEUHAEUIOAEHIOAEU HAEIOUAEH!!!
http://exiledonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/hyena-laughing1.jpg

"I laugh because my penis is bigger than yours!"

Kotollama
May 10th, 2011, 01:21 PM
the cool is to see kotonoha talking about big dicks with a sign of a (psycho) girl with a scissor.

...cover your johnnies.

HitokiriNanaya
May 10th, 2011, 01:40 PM
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li7wt0tcVo1qafrh6.jpg

Must!.....Retain!.....Sanity!

GAH!

Kotollama
May 10th, 2011, 01:45 PM
WAIT....

A HORSE!?
A HORSE, A HORSE!
http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs26/f/2008/068/a/4/How_to_Punch_a_Horse_by_BushidoBlaque.jpg

Altima of the Gates
May 10th, 2011, 01:49 PM
Hmm, Hassan would be a barracuda, and for some reason I see Gil as a Kraken.

Neir
May 10th, 2011, 01:50 PM
I dub thee Duke of All Internets.

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 01:54 PM
I see Zero Caster as a pop-eyed goldfish.
http://www.poppysart.com/images/popeyed_big.jpg

Neir
May 10th, 2011, 02:18 PM
I strongly encourage EVERYONE to read Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice for All Creation. Fantastic book, written in a Dear Abby style from various animals (pseudoscorpions, flies, birds, etc). Incredibly interesting, I guarantee you'll whip through it in like, 3 hours if you have any interest in animals. And you will learn about animal rape. Oh, such rape you will learn.

Milbunk
May 10th, 2011, 02:20 PM
Alexander Kingfish of conquerors.

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 02:23 PM
He is not a lionfish?

ringlhach
May 10th, 2011, 02:36 PM
What about Medusa!Rider?

Neir
May 10th, 2011, 02:46 PM
Grouper.

Kotonoha
May 10th, 2011, 03:01 PM
No, I think he's suggesting that Rider would be a medusa. As in a jellyfish.

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 03:27 PM
Zouken would be a Man o' War...
http://www.key-biscayne.com/beach_park/facts/manowar.jpg
...if he wasn't already in the fic as...whatever he is.

Kotonoha
May 10th, 2011, 03:30 PM
I once saw a pic of some bug that looked exactly like a penisworm but I've lost it, damn.

Altima of the Gates
May 10th, 2011, 03:36 PM
Naw, he'd be this:

http://www.thecutereport.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/nudibranch.jpg

A Nudibrach.

As for Kojiro:

http://loyalkng.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/flying-fish.jpg

Neir
May 10th, 2011, 03:39 PM
Altima, I have no idea why, but I feel like that fits Assassin PERFECTLY.

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 03:44 PM
The reason for the Man o' War as Zouken is that it is made up of multiple creatures to form one thing.

Altima of the Gates
May 10th, 2011, 03:55 PM
The reason for the Man o' War as Zouken is that it is made up of multiple creatures to form one thing.

Ah, I see, that works too.

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 03:58 PM
Altima, I have no idea why, but I feel like that fits Assassin PERFECTLY.

It is the swallow-like tail.

Kotonoha
May 10th, 2011, 04:27 PM
Naw, he'd be this:

http://www.thecutereport.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/nudibranch.jpg

A Nudibrach.

DAWWWW

That thing is way too cute to be Zouken.

...Also I tried looking it up with the spelling you used, and found only a page on someone called "Gar Waterman".

GAR WATERMAN.

lethum
May 10th, 2011, 04:44 PM
So there's a superhero called Waterman out there who is also GAR? Ok.

Milbunk
May 10th, 2011, 04:46 PM
He must be who Manateerou looks up to.

Erlkonig
May 10th, 2011, 04:48 PM
Dammit! Stop that!

lethum
May 10th, 2011, 04:50 PM
Stop what?

Milbunk
May 10th, 2011, 04:51 PM
The fishy characterizations?

SeiKeo
May 10th, 2011, 04:57 PM
You know what he means lethum.

Erlkonig
May 10th, 2011, 04:59 PM
Motherfu-

They've synchro'd!

Altima of the Gates
May 10th, 2011, 05:16 PM
DAWWWW

That thing is way too cute to be Zouken.

...Also I tried looking it up with the spelling you used, and found only a page on someone called "Gar Waterman".

GAR WATERMAN.

Doh.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudibranch

MrTags
May 10th, 2011, 05:19 PM
Did Someone Say disclaimer? Ok Illyaseal

http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/8017/122763478601.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/96/122763478601.jpg/)

Neir
May 10th, 2011, 06:19 PM
Oh fuck, that made me lose my shit.

xelloss
May 10th, 2011, 06:21 PM
Oh lord. I...

What is this I don't even...

Just...

*Xelloss has reached Clarity 0 and Wyrd 10*

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 06:22 PM
Banish it?

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 06:27 PM
This thread is now about BIOLOGY

xelloss
May 10th, 2011, 06:36 PM
Speaking of BIOLOGY, snakes also have two penises.

Apparently this sort of thing is rather common in those that are not mammals.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 06:38 PM
WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT?! IN CASE ONE OF THEM BREAKS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!

I mean, yeesh.

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 06:40 PM
They have a second so during sex they can stand on one~

Having no legs limits the sexual positions one can get in, ehehehehe~

Altima of the Gates
May 10th, 2011, 06:44 PM
This thread is now about BIOLOGY

BL is educational. I mean we have philosophy, astrophysics, sex ed., grammar, math, and the list goes on. Mike is a scientist, I think Neir is becoming a vet iirc.

Hmm, we have some rather interesting individuals.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 06:45 PM
Didn't we have a meterologist as well?

And Food is a biochemist, IIRC.

xelloss
May 10th, 2011, 06:53 PM
They have a second so during sex they can stand on one~

Having no legs limits the sexual positions one can get in, ehehehehe~

Oh really? I'd say it's almost the opposite.

Also, actually its so that they can alternate each time and ohgodIshouldstoptalking.

Alulim
May 10th, 2011, 07:23 PM
Fun times for all~

Eveonder
May 10th, 2011, 11:57 PM
Did Someone Say disclaimer? Ok Illyaseal

http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/8017/122763478601.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/96/122763478601.jpg/)

Illyaseal summons whalezerker and eats your weirdo.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 10th, 2011, 11:59 PM
Get 'im, Whalezerker!

Froggie
May 11th, 2011, 12:21 AM
Goddammit guys. I think I just woke up my neighbors laughing. It's past midnight here. How dare you make me do that? AHAHAHAHA.

Ack, oh shit. I'm not gonna be able to sleep now ;__;

shiningphoenix
May 11th, 2011, 12:30 AM
Gilgamesh would be a Zendikar-style merman. Instead of "2/3 god" he's "2/3 human"!

Alulim
May 11th, 2011, 12:31 AM
Interesting...very interesting.

Mereo Flere
May 11th, 2011, 12:36 AM
You thought it was bad before?

Trust me, it can get worse.

Spoilered to protect your sanity.

Shinji: I refuse!
Zouken: You didn't even hear me out this time.
Shinji: I don't want to listen to what you have to say.
Zouken: *shakes his head* Well then, if you're not going to listen to what I'm going to say, then that leaves me with no choice.
Shinji: You're not going to try to kick me down there again, are you? Because, that didn't work last time.
Zouken: No...
Shinji: Good.
Zouken: I've got an even better idea than that!
Shinji: Damn it, Zouken.
Zouken: Ahem. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTAge2n4hEk)

The seaweed is always purple
On top of your head of hair
You don't want to go down in there
But it will be fine I swear
Just look at the smile she gives you
With all of those rows of teeth
Such a pretty girl waits for you
Inside of the pool beneath

Under the sea
Under the sea
Shinji it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time deep throatin'
Under the sea

Alulim
May 11th, 2011, 12:39 AM
My mind, it is blown.

Lotus Saint
May 11th, 2011, 12:43 AM
http://www.funnypictureblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/ExplodingHead.gif

ItsaRandomUsername
May 11th, 2011, 12:54 AM
The part about deep-throating got me.

Kotollama
May 11th, 2011, 06:43 AM
http://cute-n-tiny.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/baby-seal.jpg
*Die Lorelei plays as BGM*
"Onii-chan..."
I'd say it fits.




Actually, you can blame KratosIrving for that one. >_>;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJO_wnkzmh0

DO NOT STOP LOOKING IN HER EYES UNTILL THE END OF THE MUSIC!

or she'll be sad.

ooooooooooooooooown Illyaseal =~~

Keyne
May 11th, 2011, 06:45 AM
Stop, you guys! The scene with the drunken seal hunters gets even more depressing now!

ItsaRandomUsername
May 11th, 2011, 09:07 AM
{DIE LORELEI BGM}
Whalezerker: RAAAAGH!!!!!

*Harpoon'd repeatedly and repeatedly by Japanese Fisherman, all while protecting his Master*

Illyaseal: You're strong....Whalezerker.....

;___;
Now I feel like shit...

Ivan The Mouse
May 11th, 2011, 09:36 AM
Now the seafood metaphors will make more sense! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ItsaRandomUsername
May 11th, 2011, 09:37 AM
Fish belly.

Keyne
May 11th, 2011, 09:40 AM
Fish belly.
That one was a nice one. D:

Ivan The Mouse
May 11th, 2011, 09:40 AM
What of it?

Eveonder
May 11th, 2011, 10:07 AM
{DIE LORELEI BGM}
Whalezerker: RAAAAGH!!!!!

*Harpoon'd repeatedly and repeatedly by Japanese Fisherman, all while protecting his Master*

Illyaseal: You're strong....Whalezerker.....

;___;
Now I feel like shit...

Gil is a Japanese Fisherman?

ringlhach
May 11th, 2011, 10:11 AM
I thought he was a drunk polar bear unrelated to Theo hunting seals for sport?

Eveonder
May 11th, 2011, 10:46 AM
I thought he was a drunk polar bear unrelated to Theo hunting seals for sport?

All bears are related just like how all humans are related. They're all descended from the original bear or something like that.

ringlhach
May 11th, 2011, 11:15 AM
Wait, so Theo's descended from Gil? Oh, poor bear...

Bearcrates
May 16th, 2011, 10:02 AM
All bears are related just like how all humans are related. They're all descended from the original bear or something like that.

More than that. All bears share a deep brotherhood bond of "bearship", if you will.

DreamsRequiem
May 16th, 2011, 10:10 AM
WHERE ARE THESES BEARS COMIN' FROM!? IS IT MATING SEASON OR SOMETHIN'!!??
I'm okay with this, actually

Kotonoha
May 16th, 2011, 10:11 AM
My god, someone just dropped off crates full of them!

Bearcrates
May 16th, 2011, 10:16 AM
WHERE ARE THESES BEARS COMIN' FROM!?

Because you touch yourself at night.

ringlhach
May 16th, 2011, 10:16 AM
Theo, you should've told us that you had relatives coming! And what to do with 'em. At this rate, we're going to have to ask the zoo if it has extra rooms... :(

Alulim
May 16th, 2011, 05:02 PM
The bears would merely break the bars keeping them in with their bear...ness.

Tobias
May 16th, 2011, 05:06 PM
Because you touch yourself at night.

if that works for me to, you might consider investing in bear tranquilizer's in bulk.

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 09:35 PM
This whole thread broke my mind. What.

lethum
May 16th, 2011, 10:06 PM
Welcome! Have a nice forum life! Do you want some pizza?

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 10:06 PM
What toppings do you have?

SeiKeo
May 16th, 2011, 10:08 PM
Duck and seaweed.

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 10:09 PM
Oh, I've never had those before. I think I'll try both!

lethum
May 16th, 2011, 10:12 PM
*Gives Beam some pizza from the NP RM pizza box* (do ask)

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 10:13 PM
*nibbles on pizza* Mm, tastes pretty good.

lethum
May 16th, 2011, 10:20 PM
I know, right? We found out it was something else when we kept on eating and it didn't ran out.

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 10:21 PM
It's the pizza that never ends?

Ace
May 16th, 2011, 10:22 PM
*nibbles on pizza* Mm, tastes pretty good.

This is what you have just eaten.
http://i543.photobucket.com/albums/gg452/blackmage1234567890/saberqyack.png?t=1305349252

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 10:28 PM
This is what you have just eaten.
http://i543.photobucket.com/albums/gg452/blackmage1234567890/saberqyack.png?t=1305349252

....

Goddammit.

Alulim
May 16th, 2011, 10:30 PM
That is why you never eat from the Pizza reality marble, it uses shady ingredients to counter the effect of the world's influence.

Ace
May 16th, 2011, 10:30 PM
Duck and seaweed.

You were warned, weren't you RB?

http://humor.nvsounds.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/75378-TrollFace.png

lethum
May 16th, 2011, 10:31 PM
Yep, and goes on, and on, my friend.

Also, it goes up two ranks when you eat it as someone is trolled. Since that's how it was born-

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 10:32 PM
Somehow I forgot all about the ducks. How could I?

Ace
May 16th, 2011, 10:41 PM
She is very disappointed in you.
http://i768.photobucket.com/albums/xx322/BlueHitman25/RiderDuck.jpg

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 10:41 PM
Please forgive me, Rider-duck!

Alulim
May 16th, 2011, 10:42 PM
I just abbreviate it to Riduck!

lethum
May 16th, 2011, 10:44 PM
Inb4 UDW.

MrTags
May 16th, 2011, 10:46 PM
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w193/mic3790/IMG_0498.jpg?t=1301665442

Longhair turtle approves of eating saberduck.

Ace
May 16th, 2011, 10:46 PM
]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUs8FEsDUZ4

I am the bone of my duck~
http://www.mariegale.com/images/blog-ducks.jpg

Soft is my body, and adorable is my blood~
http://www.howtodothings.com/files/u263/baby_ducks.jpg

I have screeched over a thousand QUACKS~
http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/allegretto/allegretto1004/allegretto100400017/6809567-group-of-mallard-ducks-quacking.jpg

Unknown to death~
http://www.cookingwithrichard.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/duck-blog.jpg

Nor known to life~
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/07_03/mallardMS2807_468x397.jpg

Have withstood pain to be in many cute pictures~
http://cute-n-tiny.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/cute-duckling-owl-pals-400x279.jpg

Yet, those feet will never hold anything~
http://gallery.backyardpoultry.com/data/500/feet_of_little_duckling_hp.jpg


So as I QUACK, Unlimited Ducks Works!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3217/3130103468_639b4cb20e.jpg

Ignore the fact that I stole someone's Reality Marble and it's implications!

MrTags
May 16th, 2011, 10:49 PM
http://i27.servimg.com/u/f27/12/27/51/71/sans_t10.jpg

Red nosed turtle gives thanks for the duck buffet before him.

Ace
May 16th, 2011, 10:57 PM
A turtle can never defeat a Duck. Right, Giluck?

http://i543.photobucket.com/albums/gg452/blackmage1234567890/mongrels.png?t=1305347758

MrTags
May 16th, 2011, 11:02 PM
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h129/JMac202/IMAG0346.jpg

Mighty first turtle is older than little gil and was never owned by such a silly creature. Turtles rule all.

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 11:02 PM
I now ship Owl/Duck thanks to that chant.

Ace
May 16th, 2011, 11:03 PM
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h129/JMac202/IMAG0346.jpg

Mighty first turtle is older than little gil and was never owned by such a silly creature. Turtles rule all.

Lies, Giluck owned the very first turtle.

MrTags
May 16th, 2011, 11:04 PM
Annoyed baby owl looks annoyed by silly duck.

You can just read his mind. "Soon little quacker soon I shall feast on you for this indignity."

lethum
May 16th, 2011, 11:04 PM
The first, golden turtle?

mangafreak7793
May 16th, 2011, 11:06 PM
so...

Duck=servant/master
Turtles=types?

Ace
May 16th, 2011, 11:07 PM
Type-Turtle?

lethum
May 16th, 2011, 11:07 PM
Who knows what lurks in the hearts of Ducks/Turtles?

RadiantBeam
May 16th, 2011, 11:07 PM
Servant Turtle.

MrTags
May 16th, 2011, 11:07 PM
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h129/JMac202/IMAG0345.jpg

Mighty first turtle needs no gold! Only silly humans would wear heavy metals under water.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 16th, 2011, 11:08 PM
I now ship Owl/Duck thanks to that chant.


Owl is so tsundere~

RadiantBeam
May 17th, 2011, 12:12 AM
Owl is so tsundere~

True love!

lethum
May 17th, 2011, 12:32 AM
You know it's true because the internet says so!

99ya
May 17th, 2011, 05:09 AM
What. The hell happened while I was gone?

meevanhelot
May 17th, 2011, 05:45 AM
The usual?

99ya
May 17th, 2011, 06:16 AM
Nah, the usual would be chilling while two people argue their opinions out. This is new to me.

NarkNarkins
May 17th, 2011, 06:19 AM
Nah this is the other usual. Random thread highjack.

Ducks are new though

meevanhelot
May 17th, 2011, 06:39 AM
No, they really aren't.

ringlhach
May 17th, 2011, 08:24 AM
Especially not to here.

RadiantBeam
May 17th, 2011, 10:15 AM
Ducks are everywhere.

ringlhach
May 17th, 2011, 10:31 AM
I know. Damn ducks, almost as bad as seagulls.

When I'm not over here, I live in Utah. Why the hell are there seagulls in UTAH? <_< And I've heard the LDS locals' version. It makes no damn sense, but then miracle story.

RadiantBeam
May 17th, 2011, 10:34 AM
We've got geese in New Jersey. They never leave. EVER.

Alulim
May 17th, 2011, 10:34 AM
I love on lakefront property, there are ducks...and turtles...

ItsaRandomUsername
May 17th, 2011, 11:09 AM
This thread will not allow itself to fade quietly into oblivion.

And I'm okay with that.

NarkNarkins
May 17th, 2011, 11:14 AM
Fine should I just accept Ducks then?

ringlhach
May 17th, 2011, 11:15 AM
This thread makes me smile. I know I've said it before, but it's true, and Lord knows I could use it.

RadiantBeam
May 17th, 2011, 11:16 AM
It is the thread that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends...

*shot*

Kotonoha
May 17th, 2011, 11:20 AM
This was stuck in my head since this whole duck business started.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFK2Xq2RyiU

Alulim
May 17th, 2011, 03:15 PM
Sinister~

Kotonoha
May 17th, 2011, 03:22 PM
It's been years since I saw that flash, oh memories.

Ace
May 17th, 2011, 06:49 PM
I have a question that I've been wondering for awhile, would Sharkura eat Duckura?

ItsaRandomUsername
May 17th, 2011, 06:55 PM
Does a bear shit in the woods?

Exception being Theo, of course. He uses bathrooms like the rest of us.

I think.

SeiKeo
May 17th, 2011, 06:56 PM
There is no way we could fit him in a bathroom. He'll just have to bear the woods.

Ace
May 17th, 2011, 06:58 PM
If he squeezes he might barely fit in one.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 17th, 2011, 07:09 PM
These puns are crass and in very poor taste.

EDIT: I made a stealth pun. FUUUU-
Sorry bro....;_;

lethum
May 17th, 2011, 07:11 PM
I see.

Ace
May 17th, 2011, 07:13 PM
These puns are crass and in very poor taste.

EDIT: I made a stealth pun. FUUUU-
Sorry bro....;_;

This was not a stealth pun at all! I see through your lies, bro.

deviatesfish
May 24th, 2011, 11:28 PM
Hi, I just found this story yesterday, and while I was doing an exam today, I sort of drew a fan art for this story. Is it okay to post it right here?

http://i990.photobucket.com/albums/af26/thisistootroublesome/IMG_0705.jpg

ItsaRandomUsername
May 24th, 2011, 11:31 PM
THIS THREAD LIVES ONCE MORE


Illyaseal Von Einzbern is so cute. She makes me so sad....

Erlkonig
May 24th, 2011, 11:32 PM
Oh god my heart

Alulim
May 24th, 2011, 11:32 PM
Hooray, deviatesfish is my new favorite person for the next hour or five~

RadiantBeam
May 24th, 2011, 11:34 PM
Oh God, baby seal!Ilya claims my soul.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 24th, 2011, 11:35 PM
About 75% of this thread (including Sharkura and Illyaseal) is my brainchild. And it does my heart good.

deviatesfish
May 24th, 2011, 11:37 PM
Does this mean I should be making serious fan art instead? This one took me less than 2 minutes to doodle out... :S

Milbunk
May 24th, 2011, 11:37 PM
I made Whalezerker so I feel proud for actually doing something. I should do more stuff.

mangafreak7793
May 24th, 2011, 11:37 PM
I wish someone photoshops GIl's face to a Japanese Fisherman's body.

Alulim
May 24th, 2011, 11:38 PM
Does this mean I should be making serious fan art instead? This one took me less than 2 minutes to doodle out... :S

Absolutely.

Erlkonig
May 24th, 2011, 11:38 PM
I wish someone photoshops GIl's face to a Japanese Fisherman's body.

Mangafreak = Troll of trolls, troll of the year, King of Trolls, Troll Spirit, Troll Ancestor, Troll Apostle, Crimson Troll, Type-TROLL

Bearcrates
May 24th, 2011, 11:39 PM
A seal clubber would also work.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 24th, 2011, 11:40 PM
He still keeps a bunch of Japanese fishermen and their harpoons inside of GoB, for t3h lawls.

Techlet
May 25th, 2011, 01:02 AM
Hi, I just found this story yesterday, and while I was doing an exam today, I sort of drew a fan art for this story. Is it okay to post it right here?

[IMG]

More of this is required.

Kotonoha
May 25th, 2011, 01:14 AM
About 75% of this thread (including Sharkura and Illyaseal) is my brainchild. And it does my heart good.

Objection, you made the typo, but I was the one to point it out! (IIRC)

ItsaRandomUsername
May 25th, 2011, 01:17 AM
Correct you are, Koto. Props goes to you because you deserve it.

'tis true. I typo'd, Koto pointed it out, and I then made the picture shortly afterwards.

/Sharkura's origin story

Alulim
May 25th, 2011, 01:18 AM
Very deep.

deviatesfish
May 25th, 2011, 01:45 AM
Ah... now I want a herd of Ilyaseals.

Alulim
May 25th, 2011, 01:46 AM
Only a herd...?

ringlhach
May 25th, 2011, 02:11 AM
And I had the original inspiration for Ilyaseal. Never did a pic for her, though. ^_^; That was all you. Has anybody seen Mereo lately? I know he's been in the Grill War, but I want more crack...

deviatesfish
May 25th, 2011, 02:25 AM
Well, all I can carry is a herd.

Alulim
May 25th, 2011, 02:27 AM
Ah, that is why I bring my spare pair of arms with me to help carry two.

ringlhach
May 25th, 2011, 02:34 AM
Ah, that is why I bring my spare pair of arms with me to help carry two.

Blasphemy. You must use pallets and forklifts, just so you can bring along the D'AAW. Well, I have to, anyway, because I'm both slightly short and slightly broken. Stupid knees.

ItsaRandomUsername
May 25th, 2011, 02:59 AM
I'd be happy with just one Illyaseal.

Alulim
May 25th, 2011, 03:05 AM
Gotta catch em all~

deviatesfish
May 25th, 2011, 03:14 AM
Would this be used in the correct context: In Soviet Russia Ilyaseal will be happy with only you.

Mereo Flere
May 25th, 2011, 02:12 PM
Heh, nice pic DF.

ringlhach
May 25th, 2011, 02:15 PM
Ah! He lives! Quick, corner him so we can make him write more crack! Seriously, dude, we need some more. Has the muse dried up? If she's all wrinkly now, we can always steal someone else's.

Mereo Flere
May 25th, 2011, 03:57 PM
I've just been taking a break since I finished all of my finals.

I'll probably start writing against in about week, once I finished beating all of these games I've been playing.

Neir
May 26th, 2011, 12:42 AM
Congrats on finishing finals.

deviatesfish
May 26th, 2011, 02:25 AM
Thanks Flere~ <3

Now I want to figure out how to make a picture of Whalezerker...

ItsaRandomUsername
May 26th, 2011, 03:27 AM
Start with an orca, that's how I'd do it. :)

Kotollama
May 27th, 2011, 12:12 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXH7vywXrEY&feature=player_embedded

we all know why i'm posting it here.

Alulim
May 27th, 2011, 12:22 PM
Umm...yeah...

Ergast
May 27th, 2011, 12:26 PM
What's this, I don't even.

Neir
May 27th, 2011, 12:27 PM
Can't see shit, cap'n. What's the picture?

Ergast
May 27th, 2011, 12:29 PM
It's a video from youtube.

Inugami
May 27th, 2011, 04:11 PM
*Xelloss has reached Clarity 0 and Wyrd 10*
Oh hey, fellow White Wolf consumer.

ItsaRandomUsername
July 23rd, 2011, 06:21 PM
What better way than to necro a thread with this:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/10/20/article-1322118-0BB02583000005DC-996_646x781.jpg

"DON'T CALL ME TIGER!!!!!!"
- Taigafish


Seriously, that's a tigerfish.

Ace
July 23rd, 2011, 06:22 PM
I wouldn't want to piss off that.

Elf
July 23rd, 2011, 06:36 PM
Holy fuck, Jeremy Wade! That man is . . . I've got a severe crush on that man. He's like real life GAR and has even swam with real Gars before.

Kratosirving
July 23rd, 2011, 07:12 PM
Holy shit, fuck sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads, GIMME THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Dark Descent
July 24th, 2011, 01:58 AM
I have been lurking for the past week, but this thread was so compelling, I need to type one thing.

What in the name of everything remotely rational goes through the mind of you people?! Not that that's a bad thing, of course.

Alulim
July 24th, 2011, 02:02 AM
What in the name of everything remotely rational goes through the mind of you people?!Absolutely nothing.

Ergast
July 24th, 2011, 05:50 AM
@Dark Descent

Some people says that Angra Manyu was born and flows through our minds (AM flows harder in some peoples, mind you)

In the other hand, some people says that our minds contains an awesome quantity of duck guro, unlimited bear works, gate of turtlylon and a bit of curry.

And then it comes my theory, that says that BL is just the Spiral of the Origin, and that Kotomine likes to troll said Spiral with the help of Mikiya. And that's how Kohaku won.

Altima of the Gates
July 24th, 2011, 08:26 AM
Sometimes, I really think we shouldn't follow our origin, we are likely to become something worse than Lio did, lol.

SeiKeo
July 24th, 2011, 10:07 AM
Sometimes, I really think we shouldn't follow our origin, we are likely to become something worse than Lio did, lol.

Well, all that would happen is that nobody would be able to get work done ever again, Derailing and all.

RadiantBeam
July 25th, 2011, 08:18 PM
This thread, it still lives?

Alulim
July 25th, 2011, 08:38 PM
It simply cannot die, like a cockroach.

Kotonoha
July 25th, 2011, 08:41 PM
Why must you compare an awesome fic to a cockroach? :(

Alulim
July 25th, 2011, 09:14 PM
Why must you compare an awesome fic to a cockroach? :(An awesome cockroach.

Ace
July 25th, 2011, 09:15 PM
This thread, it still lives?

Indeed.

.... I really can't resist.

Alulim
July 25th, 2011, 09:20 PM
Indeed.

.... I really can't resist. I truly am an infection...ehehehehehehe.

Ace
July 25th, 2011, 09:30 PM
Indeed.

It just won't stop!

Alulim
July 25th, 2011, 09:35 PM
Of course it won't.

Renko
April 19th, 2014, 10:09 AM
THIS. FIC. IS. AMAZING! SAKURA SHARK WAS REALLY AMUSING~ :sakura:

*Umm....so since this fic was technically completed.....I think it is safe for me to be "bumping" this (?)