Secret Santa Contest (2017) Voting and Judging

OR: Poll? What's a poll?

Copy-paste, ho! Because the rules are still the same as last time:

Any member of BL can vote and participate in judging, even if you didn't write anything. If you vote for your own fic (as in, the one you wrote), that vote won't count and will go wasted.

Each voter gets up to three (3) votes, that works by ranking your top 3 fics. Your top fic gets 3 points, your second-place fic gets 2 points, your third-place gets 1 point. Of course, if you don't have a top 3, you don't have to vote for three fics. In the end, all the points are tallied up and whichever fic has the most points is the winner. To vote, post the votes and rankings in this thread. No, you don't have to read every single fic to vote.

Voting closes in about a week, 1/8. You can also post your reviews in this thread, but it's not required to do so here.

Entries link

The Great Beauty: 3 Points
Jeanne Can't Make Any Friends!: 2 points
Infinity Gear: 1 point

3 Points: The Great Beauty
Excellent story, excellent writing. Nasuverse references were tastefully subtle, and the whole arc of the story moved smoothly from a reasonable introduction to a satisfying conclusion. Works well as both a Nasuverse fanfic and as an independent story. This entry was easily my favourite entry out of the ones I read (didn't read the lemons, sorry authors), I don't think any of the others really came close. I try to think of something constructive to add as well for these reviews, but I can't really think of anything for this piece. Length is good, story is good, concept is good, execution is good. Very well done.

2 Points: Infinity Gear
Well done, but unfortunately short. Which isn't really a criticism of the piece so much as a wish from the reader. A nice introspection into an often forgotten character. Looks incomplete, but even in that case I think a great story could be made by both expanding out the section that's been written and finishing the story to its conclusion, wherever that would be. If I were to offer any criticism, it would probably be that the descent felt a bit too sudden and drastic. I know I'm terrible for writing too many words, so take that with a grain of salt, but I feel like a more gradual fall might have made for a more satisfying experience. That kind of length might be beyond the scope of this contest, though.

1 Point: The Answer Found/At the Heart of the World
I wasn't really sold on this one at the beginning, but it grew on me slowly as I continued, and by the end I was thoroughly enjoying it. If this was written as a long form fic, I would probably follow it. As a short though, even understanding that its incomplete, I'm not sure it really sells the idea properly. Maybe this will sound like a weird thing to criticize, but it felt to me like Archetype Earth was a bit too much of a character. Setting aside that she should be dead by the time this story happens, since I'm sure by the way the story was going that the completed version would have addressed this, it felt like she had too much potential for growth, and in a way too much agency to really satisfy the role of an Ultimate One. Perhaps it could be made to work in a longer form fic (which I would certainly like to see!), but in a short like this I would probably dial back the human-ness of the character a bit.

That aside, I do think it was a well done piece. Competently written, interesting story, and all built around a world that invoked genuine curiosity. I realize this mini-review probably sounds fairly negative, but I would just reiterate that once I got into it, it was a genuinely fun piece of work to read. I would like to seriously encourage the author to expand this out into a longer piece of work, even beyond finishing the contest entry portion.

3: Infinity Gear
2: God rest ye Mary gentle
1: The Answer Found/At the Heart of the World

In previous contests, Kirby, you let us divide points equally between our choices. If that still holds, these are my votes:

2 points - "Blood for Beasts", "Horny Pole Dancer Seeks Big Black Stripper's Veiny Throbbing Spear", "God Rest Ye Mary Gentle"

If not, then these are my votes:

"Horny Pole Dancer Seeks Big Black Stripper's Veiny Throbbing Spear" - 3 points
"God Rest Ye Mary Gentle" - 2 points
"Blood for Beasts" - 1 point

Hassan Means Family, And Family Means No One Gets Left Behind (Find Me) - 3 points

11 Toukos Angsting (Infinity Gear) - 2 points

Divinely Inspired Jeanne D'Arc Figure Breaks Your Xmas Baubles And Calls You A Slattern (God Rest Ye Mary Gentle) - 1 point

3: Find Me
2: The Great Beauty
1: God Rest Ye Mary Gentle

Should get points but aren't allowed them: Yours|Mine, And Nothing Heat, The Answer Found/At the Heart of the World

No matter what I'd encourage everyone to post fics in their own threads after the contest formally ends, because all of them deserve some wider readership and some of them deserve a lot.


Blood for Beasts

I really shouldn't be one to talk here, but this is one that should be longer. And at the end of the day it didn't need to be much longer at all, it probably would have only needed to be another 500 words, but you didn't have time for any sort of personal touch. So it comes off a bit of a moralist history lecture - think some scifi series where we're hearing about how we learned to hate the aliens together. The best part is easily here:

Quote:

---

The feel of the beast's flesh beneath their blades felt like nothing the soldiers of either creed had ever felt before. The crusader knight, a volunteer soldier from French pastures, swung his sword, and it felt like he was trying to drive the blade through a mass of boggish mud. The texture was viscous, slow to be hacked. Even when he bashed the crested wyrm with his shield he broke none of its bones, cracked no scales. The mythical serpent hissed, swung its head, and tore through the knight's armor with raw strength rather than sharpness of its horn. A nearby Saracen took advantage of the death of his newfound ally to toss aside his shield, grasp his scimitar with both hands, and swing down with all of his might upon the neck of the black beast.

The Middle-Eastern weapon had as little effect on the reptile as the European weapon had. He did not have to be disappointed long; a moment later he was gored from behind upon the tusk of a mastodon that had welled up from an inky pool of sludge. As he screamed to his death, birds-of-paradise alighted upon him and plucked out his eyes and tongue.

---

And that's really what should have become the focus, either as an extension within what you already did or in a reworking. How immediate of allies are they - sudden battlefield meeting, going on for a week now, etc, etc. And if you explore this, you can get at the same ideas as your earlier rhetorical questions do in the human realm.

GOMENNASORRY

It's cheap humor, but it's Snickers kind of junk food cheap humor, that is, the best. Don't at me. X good civilization.

Booby Tights Porn

Fuck your giant paragraphs.

To be honest, it was reasonably fun to read but I'm not entirely sure what I could get out of it besides fulfilling the prompt, which admittedly is A Prompt. And I'll beg no-GO ignorance but I really don't buy that Cu/Scath relationship.

And Nothing Heat

It was not what they asked for but what they deserved. BL HoF.

Untitled 1

You got trapped by the prompt, since I like the first part but getting into the rest of the Shiki really undermines the whole Shiki/Mikiya romantic/comedy/critical fiction.

Yours|Mine

Strikes true as authentic Azaka emotions, and a lot of that comes across in the method. There's not a lot of elaboration expressed in the form, word or grammar, but that's used to good effect, to let it be emotional in an uncomplicated but authentic-feeling way. The expressions of the glasses anecdote were great.

Find Me

This is exactly what all those garbage GO interludes should look like and I would be perfectly happy if there was a whole LN filled with expanded shorts like this.

God Rest Ye Mary Gentle

I'm not generally a fan of the free association aesthetic but it was absolutely a fitting choice here, allowing some really brilliant compact image. And the final image hurts.

The Answer Found/At the Heart of the World

call me lets do notes 4

Jeanne Can't Make Any Friends!

Dumb prompt, really, ends up pointing out the absurdity of Chaldea Dormitory fic. But it was an entertaining enough use of the material for me? Friend Hassan.

3: The Great Beauty
2: Fine Me
1: Jeanne Can't Make Any Friends!

- - - Updated - - -

There was plenty of Hassan love this contest, and that did my heart good.

参: Find Me. What should have been.
弐: Infinity Gear. Welcome back.
壱: The Great Beauty. Something out of nothing.

阿僧祇: 昇華潜熱. Same, my dude.

(1pt) Infinity Gear: the most Nasu of the lot I'm giving points to, that comparison to be taken as plaudits, of course. More or less the ideal refinement of the short story fanfic form.

(2pts) The Great Beauty: title describes content.

(3pts) God Rest Ye Mary Gentle: it simply couldn't have been written better. Every image is perfectly evocative, strong, and uniquely delivered, from the first to the last word. I love it, poetry and all.

Votes!

Also a very big commendation and honourable mention to Find Me, which was incredibly fun to read, and really something special as a particularly Nasuverse, Fate, or even Grand Order work.