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I was a bit confused by the 'humour' claim in the OP. But oh god I definitely get it now.

Constantin wants to nick the Grail, and so it'll build to some sort of tragedy where Two can't hold it all and breaks down with Noel around.

Or he'll absorb Lancer and through somethingsomething...

Mi-Ki-Ya.

Cool story m87.

Siriel confirmed for transcendant fanfic author.

The real reason Shirou left and became Archer: Raiga paid him to leave so that his daughter would develop life skills.

That's only because Third Fang never seems to respond. Either way, Magos could probably deliver enough hate for both of them.

Better?

Fucking saved.

D'aww, Barthomeloi's like a teddy bear made of barbed wire.

You don't want to touch it because it's terrifying but then if you peel back the wire somehow and see how adorable it is on the...

Satsuki seemed to be a pretty alright human before, y'know, the whole Dead Apostle thing.

I'd say something to the effect of that being literally retarded but I imagine everyone already knows that.

Sirius the Irish Stu made him a surfsword explicitly for flying on.

Take something from this maybe? Sorry, the picture's too big to insert.

It's a permanent stain on the fandom and the minds of the ones who wrote for it and then deleted their fics for being shit.

My lips twitched upwards. Good goy.

But Daneel's not-pedo Vita route is based!

+1 to Ruining the Holy Water Breakfast at Kotomine's

The latest craze to come out of Japan: Arm sharing.

It's something of a niche fetish market.

Shiki's left arm is the mastermind behind everything. It's off pleasuring Mikiya as we speak.

A nice interaction for, if not family, then magi. The strange intimacy was bizarrely touching, but very fitting as well.

Pretty sure that's just induced from long exposure to Vita.

Rin: "Waver? What on earth are you doing here?"

Waver: "I'm here to educate you. I am the Ghost of Sexy Present."

Rin: "That's it. I'm out."

Maybe did, maybe didn't. Mostly a suggestion for Bloble.

Trufax, Lorelei is fucking Kayneth's wife.