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Thread: Type-Moon Fanfic Idea Thread

  1. #66021
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    they probably don't smile
    ?

    As for Misaya, is she older than Rin?

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  3. #66023
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walnut Sparks View Post
    Thanks. These are both good points and I must admit to having forgotten that knowing about magecraft isn't even comparable to knowing about the Grail War. So even "Sakura Edelfelt" could be caught off-guard. Good good good - I prefer heroes who are at a disadvantage.

    If Rin feels sisterly affection toward Sakura and if they're rivals, both could in some way be reason for her to be secretive about the Grail: She doesn't want Sakura to put herself in danger by fighting in a kill-or-be-killed contest nor does she want Sakura possibly stealing her glory. And Luvia might share one or both motivations. Once Sakura notices something fishy, we'd get a feedback loop of her trying to figure out what was going on, Rin and Luvia acting even more cagey, and Sakura's suspicions deepening.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I wouldn't want to do any real Sakura-Shinji romance. But, Sakura being a pretty girl and Shinji being Shinji, a small amount of unctuous flirtation on his part is probably unavoidable.
    Do you plan on any romance here? In general I mean.

    As for the "Sakura investigates her past" angle, doesn't that not really work due to the fact she would know she was a Tohsaka since she was given away at the age of 6?

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    Old bastard Walnut Sparks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Draconic View Post
    Walnut Sparks. Please, please write this thing. The hype is real.
    Thanks, I'll give it a shot.

    Quote Originally Posted by warellis View Post
    Why not just write about magical wrestler Sakura Edelfelt & Luvia interacting with magical kung-fu specialist Tohsaka Rin in Fuyuki?
    'Cause my interest is still what I originally said, a Fifth Grail War story.

    Quote Originally Posted by warellis View Post
    Do you plan on any romance here? In general I mean.
    Maybe a little. It wouldn't be the focus of the story, though, and it probably wouldn't involve the leads.

    As for the "Sakura investigates her past" angle, doesn't that not really work due to the fact she would know she was a Tohsaka since she was given away at the age of 6?
    In this case, she wouldn't be trying to learn who her birth family was, but there would be other things she might be curious about - how Tokiomi died, for starters.
    O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed you have not already collapsed in ruin.

  5. #66025
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walnut Sparks View Post
    In this case, she wouldn't be trying to learn who her birth family was, but there would be other things she might be curious about - how Tokiomi died, for starters.
    One thing I learned recently was that Finland requires people who immigrate to it to adopt a Finnish name. Makes me wonder if Sakura might need one, at least while there.

    As for the leads, who are they in your mind here? Shirou, Rin, Sakura, Luvia, & Shinji?

    Do you have an idea on how their relationships will be?
    Last edited by warellis; September 1st, 2018 at 11:55 AM.

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    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warellis View Post
    One thing I learned recently was that Finland requires people who immigrate to it to aroot a Finnish name. Makes me wonder if Sakura might need one, at least while there.

    As for the leads, who are they in your mind here? Shirou, Rin, Sakura, Luvia, & Shinji?

    Do you have an idea on how their relationships will be?
    Maybe there's an exception for magi, since they appear to have unspecified relationships with governments, and considering who the Edelfelt are, I wouldn't be surprised if they have some cozy relationship with the Finnish government.

  7. #66027
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warellis View Post
    As for Misaya, is she older than Rin?
    Yes?

  8. #66028
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    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    Yes?
    When does Prototype take place?

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    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warellis View Post
    When does Prototype take place?
    1999 - 2001 thereabouts.

  10. #66030
    Old bastard Walnut Sparks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warellis View Post
    One thing I learned recently was that Finland requires people who immigrate to it to adopt a Finnish name. Makes me wonder if Sakura might need one, at least while there.
    That's very interesting. I know in the States we used to screw around with immigrants' names to an extent, but it's surprising to hear of it in this day and age (yeah, that could just be my ignorance showing). Could you point me to guidelines on the requirements? Or is it simply, just pick whatever given name you like as long as it originates in the Finnish language?

    Quote Originally Posted by warellis View Post
    As for the leads, who are they in your mind here? Shirou, Rin, Sakura, Luvia, & Shinji?

    Do you have an idea on how their relationships will be?
    I had always seen Sakura as the protagonist and Shinji as deuteragonist, in an uneasy association that develops into friendship. It's he who assumes that Sakura is already in the know, and makes some remarks to her that pique her suspicion and set her off on her inquiries. Then the war gets underway and they cross paths again.

    Rin as the sisterly rival and also one of the main characters. She sees Shinji as an enemy, not least for having gotten Sakura involved. I'd like to do a Rin x Issei romance subplot somehow.

    I'm unsure about including Luvia, because her role and Rin's might be redundant. OTOH it would be cool to see her summon Medea and become a superpowered juggernaut.

    Shirou would get less page space than the others, since his role is now somewhat redundant with Sakura's. And of course, Zouken is trying to manipulate things.
    Last edited by Walnut Sparks; September 1st, 2018 at 07:48 PM.
    O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed you have not already collapsed in ruin.

  11. #66031
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    So I edited the material I had before and wrote this:

    Spoiler:
    Taking a long drink of her coffee, Misaya turned her nose away from Kairi on the opposite end of the table. He still reeked, and with his feet propped up, boots near her head, it was made all the more obvious that he hadn't showered in the past few days or so, either. He'd been waiting for her when she arrived, and the usual pleasant, quiet atmosphere of her favorite café was disturbed by his overbearingly fiendish presence. The other patrons, waiters, waitresses, and even the policeman they'd called to deal with the disruption—the "unruly man in the dark shades and biker outfit"—were too afraid to go near them like they were a pair of corpse-eaters feeding on the remains of their victims rather than two old frie—oh who was she kidding? They probably thought he was a member of the yakuza and, as she tried her best to reassure them with a smile, the reality was much, much worse.

    He seemed to be deep in his own thoughts. She groaned, giving him the look she'd give one of her misbehaving students, usually accompanied by a light smack on the head with a rolled up piece of paper. Though, all she had on hand was her cup of coffee, and she'd rather not waste that. "What do you want now?"

    "I wanted to know if you'll go through with it," he replied after several moments, playing with something in his hands. It looked like a bottle of some sort, but, she wasn't quite sure.

    "With what?"

    "I know I said don't do anything stupid, but, don't play stupid either. You know what I'm talking about."

    She scowled. "No, I'm not."

    "That right?" Reaching into his back jacket pocket, Kairi took out two old, folded photographs. He laid it and what'd been in his hands—not a bottle, actually two small vials—on the table in front of her. "Well, if you decide to change your mind." Then, he simply stood up and left before his coffee came. Not that it would've, considering...

    She didn't bother to watch him go, and took a peek at the photographs. One was a picture of them, she and her father, and the other was Kairi and that kid his family adopted, back when she wasn't tied down by her choices in life, he wasn't sporting that awful mullet, and both her father and that girl was obviously still living. She'd forgotten the kid's name, but, knew what he was trying to tell her, and wouldn't have any of it.

    "Nice try," she mumbled, taking the photographs and vials before walking to the nearest trashcan. Throwing away her coffee, she put the photographs and the vials in her pocket instead. While the photos were worthless, the vials would fetch for a decent price on the blackmarket. As for her coffee.. it'd gone cold.

    On her way out after paying, she went into the restroom and parted her hair in the mirror. Stretching, she'd overslept without realizing it and would've been horrified at what she saw if she were regular person, except, no, it was normal for a magus—well, former magus, anyway—to look how she did. To anyone who wasn't a magus, her eyes were extremely bloodshot. Her eye-drops back at the apartment were empty, and she couldn't get another refill because she still owed Red money, and couldn't go to anyone else as they were too expensive on a teacher's salary alone. Raking her fingers through her hair, she was a mess. Black strands sticking to her fingers, dead ends, she rinsed her hands and face and arms. They stung. She smoothed over the various scars; constant reminders that her past was always there, right below the surface. If she'd continued her practice, it would've rendered them completely numb someday. Not that her father would've said anything about it, even if he'd known. Once the proud head of a magus family stretching back several generations, the last time she'd seen him he was little more than a shadow of his former self. Forced to go by his old journals, backtracking and re-engineering years' worth of his research much too complex for her, to teach herself all the things he'd been incapable to ironically rid herself of ever being able to use any of it, it was painfully obvious where that'd gotten her.

    She could still see him on his knees in front of her, wild, filthy, untamed. Just bowing his head, groveling like a whimpering dog.

    Fixing her hair in the mirror, she made herself somewhat more presentable and, as she was about to head out, everyone was still keeping their distance save for one brave waitress head who told her to wait and handed her Kairi's late coffee. Thanking her, Misaya asked for another to go. She was going to need it.

    --

    Later, she sat at her desk grading more papers. Pulling from the top of the stack, she read the name and didn't even bother with the rest of it and marked them down for a perfect score. After all, what else was there to expect from the class representative? Speaking of her prestigious class representative, a real saint, now that she thought about it, Tohsaka hadn't even been in class. Misaya wondered if her absence had something to do with her family… Not that she was cared enough to investigate further—and from the fact she'd gotten a few hours extra worth of much needed sleep from it—but, still, it was well past the hour Tohsaka swung by to review her latest paper and she thought it strange for a girl like her to simply skip out on what up until today been the norm. Putting down her pen with a yawn, she tried in vain to cover her face with a hand at the sun peeking through the shades of her classroom. Peering over at the clock, the semester was ending very soon, and if she wanted to keep her job here she needed to finish them all within the next few days, as she quit wondering and moved on to the next one.

    By the time she finished this latest round it was half past six o'clock. Dusk had settled, violet shafts of waning sun creeping in. Their somber shadows danced in front of her. Sprinkles of dust floated like red little lightning bugs. Shrouded in the dark, hearing that familiar sound of cicadas, she was once again unpleasantly reminded of the past. A cough tickled her throat and she grabbed her cup of coffee and took a large gulp. Swallowing those memories back down, she was dead tired. Looking at her stack of papers, she still had yet a long way to go and doubted she'd get it all done tonight, anyway, and as her head drooped further and further toward her desk, what could it hurt...?

  12. #66032
    Old bastard Walnut Sparks's Avatar
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    One other question: Supposing Sakura drops into school like Luvia did in kaleid liner, is there any reason she wouldn't want classmates speculating about her relationship to Rin, and might, say, wear colored contacts? Not that I can think of any, but I don't wanna jinx it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    So I edited the material I had before and wrote this:
    Not bad. I'm itching to read more.

    Some of the clauses could transition a bit better, for example "Peering over at the clock, the semester was ending very soon..." would maybe work better as two sentences.
    O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed you have not already collapsed in ruin.

  13. #66033
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walnut Sparks View Post
    One other question: Supposing Sakura drops into school like Luvia did in kaleid liner, is there any reason she wouldn't want classmates speculating about her relationship to Rin, and might, say, wear colored contacts? Not that I can think of any, but I don't wanna jinx it.
    I don't see how classmates would think they're sisters.
    This is sakura with an oujo makeover after all.
    The only person who would suspect something is Issei and he would just grumble about it to himself how they feel the same. The person who would actively investigate is Himuro and only if she smelt drama like if Rin reacted weirdly.
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


  14. #66034
    Old bastard Walnut Sparks's Avatar
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    It may only be an outside possibility, but I'd still like to consider it, since it affects her public behavior. If she doesn't care who knows, then, while she may not declare "I am Tohsaka Rin's sister!" right off the bat, she wouldn't go out of her way to avoid the subject either, or deny it if asked.

    My default assumption is that she has no reason to keep it secret, since I can't think of any. I'm just double-checking to see if I'm wrong.
    O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed you have not already collapsed in ruin.

  15. #66035
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walnut Sparks View Post
    My default assumption is that she has no reason to keep it secret, [...]
    She might just think of herself as an Edelfelt - or, at least, she might be expected to do so due to social conventions. I mean, I can't imagine the Edelfelt would be happy that someone they generously adopted into the family would go around saying she's actually a Tohsaka, right?

  16. #66036
    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    I have the barest bones of a possible idea, and that is what if in the Fifth Grail War, Rin was able to use Tokiomi's old snakeskin as a catalyst, and she summoned Caster Gilgamesh as her Servant? That's basically all I got, and I have no clue what else is going to happen or anything.

  17. #66037
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One forumghost's Avatar
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    Probably he kills her and teams up with Archer Gil to destroy the world/sex seiba.

    Since Cas!Gil is just Gil doing a cosplay to mock Goetica.

  18. #66038
    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    Probably he kills her and teams up with Archer Gil to destroy the world/sex seiba.

    Since Cas!Gil is just Gil doing a cosplay to mock Goetica.
    He would definitely react poorly to Rin considering Ishtar and everything, but I think he'd call Archer Gil a fool and not join him. This is the Gil with some semblance of maturity, remember? Also, he may find Rin interesting enough to deal with her, considering his voice lines in My Room were essentially complimenting Ishtar's host for toning down the latter's bitchy tendencies.

  19. #66039
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One forumghost's Avatar
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    Cas!Gil is literally just Gil. He's just less of as asshole because he's back in Uruk and as such is in a better mood.

    Take him to 5th war Fuyuki and he'd be the same as Regular Gil.

  20. #66040
    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    Cas!Gil is literally just Gil. He's just less of as asshole because he's back in Uruk and as such is in a better mood.

    Take him to 5th war Fuyuki and he'd be the same as Regular Gil.
    But wasn't it also post-quest for immortality, where his legend, both in real life and the Nasuverse states he finally chilled out? But yeah, I get that being thrust into the modern era likely wouldn't do wonders for his mood. Also, would it make any difference if he remembered the Babylonia Singularity and Chaldea?

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