I'd much rather you not "tweak" such things. I found the original finish much better and fitting. It's good work none the less.
Might you include the full original for comparison and completeness?
I'd much rather you not "tweak" such things. I found the original finish much better and fitting. It's good work none the less.
Might you include the full original for comparison and completeness?
The only thing I cut was the "Secret Bonus Ending" that led to "Scions" - well, that and I changed the ending headers from "Epilogues 1 - 5" to rate the endings. I really don't see a point, with so little quantifiable difference.
. . . I suppose I could always post the "Bonus Ending" as an omake . . .
this was an amazing story and I loved it.
Thank you - it's still one of my favourites, and quite possibly my best.
“Love will be cruel to who it entices — love will have its sacrifices.”
— Carmilla Theme
"Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."
―Jim Butcher, Vignette
Oh, this is convenient. Since I just started writing again, I will be able to check details again, lol.
Still, I was always very impressed with this story. Probably the first thing I've read that had OC's and a self insert that wasn't horrible. XD
true I just noticed you made me care about an OC amazing truely amazing as normally I despise OC's.Originally Posted by Cascade
I was always amazed at how popular Takara was - I mean, she has fan art! That was just mind-blowingly awesome to me.
And yeah, I'm not too fond of OCs myself - or self-inserts, and most fics use both, often in the same character. But people seemed to like OHakubi's "Daughter of Shinigami," with Arcueid's daughter, so I thought Takara might be accepted. I just made sure to try and treat her as a real person, with flaws and fears as well as powers. The fact that she was Shiki and Ciel's daughter helped, I'm sure - people knew her parents, so there was something of an emotional connection to her from the start, rather than dealing with a character that was a total unknown. And the "Legacies" story in my "Rainbow of the Heart" anthology gave people a place to start for her history - they didn't have to guess which ending this followed, or how they'd gotten together - not completely, anyway. And I tried to make sure to give her parents equal screen time, because I knew it was the Type-Moon characters that readers came to see.
Takara's Servant, I was a lot less sure of - I was half-convinced I was going to lose readers in droves when they figured out that he was an actual self-insert. In point of fact, he proved so popular that I brought him back for a sequel, which was not my original plan. He really was going to be a one-shot deal, initially - and the whole romantic relationship between he and Takara was also reader-inspired. So many people thought they made a cute couple - and I hadn't actually intended them to be a couple at all.
It was an interesting lesson in writing for me: that I couldn't slavishly follow every impulse brought on by reader suggestions, but outright ignoring them would lose me a wealth of experiences and character development.
“Love will be cruel to who it entices — love will have its sacrifices.”
— Carmilla Theme
"Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."
―Jim Butcher, Vignette
interesting to know you never intended them being a couple. The only thing I dislike is the slight bshing Shirou gets as he is my favorite character still this story was awesome enough for me to ignore it. Still one good thing about this Shirou is that it seems EMIYA got his wish he is no longer a counter guardian. I am curious now I personaly often imagin how if a different character is in the story what would happen for this story I imagined EMIYA being the one in the homocusai body with UBW he would destroy all evil impulses. Do you or other people do that I sill loved your story I just imagine things like that sometimes do other people do that as well.
Ah! Still as good as I remembered. I have to thanks you, Rajvir, for posting here and make me read it again.
About the fic per se... To be fair, it was interesting to see for once Shirou as the bad guy. And if you have read Trinity, you would know that Kieran didn't exactly hate Shirou (more like the contrary, as, in my opinion, half of the most awesome scenes in Trinity 0 and the Trinity series belongs to Shirou, as by example the first fight against Saber in Truths, or the fight against the basilisk in The Chamber)
Though, as I had read it again, you can see that, at the moment Kieran wrote this, he didn't have half the knowledge he has now about FSN. He admits it in the fic (that bit with Avenger complaining about not knowing that much about the Fate setting).
Spoiler:
you are welcome but this is my first kieran fc so I am not sure plus while it was interesting to see Shirou as a bad guy it put me off somewhat but kieran's fic is to awesome for a little discomfort to stop me from reading.
Yeah, and it's worse than you think. Trade secret - the reason I did Shirou as a homunculus was because I'd seen a picture of Gilgamesh, and somehow gotten the impression that he was Shirou (don't ask me how, I don't know). When I realised I'd made a mistake, I had to figure out a reason why he was an albino, so . . . Thank God the Fate anime came out as I was in the middle of writing the story.
Well, hopefully you'll enjoy, and continue to enjoy, the rest of them.
“Love will be cruel to who it entices — love will have its sacrifices.”
— Carmilla Theme
"Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."
―Jim Butcher, Vignette
Now THAT explains the canon rape FSN received in the fic XDDD
Ah, FSN anime! So good for an anime, and so bad in comparison with the novel!
Spoiler:
I believe I likely will I will proboly start reading your other story's soon but there are a lot of update on FF so I will be busy for a while.Yeah, and it's worse than you think. Trade secret - the reason I did Shirou as a homunculus was because I'd seen a picture of Gilgamesh, and somehow gotten the impression that he was Shirou (don't ask me how, I don't know). When I realised I'd made a mistake, I had to figure out a reason why he was an albino, so . . . Thank God the Fate anime came out as I was in the middle of writing the story.
Well, hopefully you'll enjoy, and continue to enjoy, the rest of them.
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