Requiem for Loss

[ItsaRandomUsername]

[ VI ] – Sixth Blood {Divergence: A} // Stargazer
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Oh.


Is that how it is?


Berserker has already disappeared. The sigils have already disappeared. Soon, I too shall disappear.


…That is alright. This is just a possible outcome that was foreseen that has been realized. Nothing more, nothing less.


I believe that I should feel disappointment because I can no longer serve as the vessel of my professor’s will for the sake of the lost knowledge, the Magnum Opus, and the ATLAS organization as a whole, that I should offer a mental apology for the sake of my failure, but…


Is this because I was at least able to meet with you? Even though our encounters were brief, and likely irreverent in the grander scheme of existence, let alone our own lives?


Do I not believe that…?


Do I believe that…?


What do I think of......


No matter. Such a thought is inconsequential at a time like this, when I am not long for this world. There is no need for that. There is no need to burden anyone with the potentially heavy thoughts of a dying doll, a broken tool, an incomplete homunculus. Not even you. Not when such thoughts are fleeting like the fluff of a wild dandelion in a wind that scatters all to the corners of the Earth.


That is why, in my last moments, I shall only give you the simple smile you deserve to see.


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HEAVEN’S FEEL SCENARIO REPLICATION PROGRAM HAS FINISHED PROCESSING DATA:

~PLAYER RELIEVED OF [MASTER] STATUS~

COMMAND EXECUTED...

"Goodbye, and best of luck.”

[ItsaRandomUsername]

[ VI ] – Sixth Blood {Divergence: B} // The Red Devil
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This…is kind of odd.


Now, of all times, I don’t have much to say, really.


That’s why it seems…strange.


So, so very strange.


I have heard that when one is facing death that the internal truths begin to externalize, which causes people to bare their souls in their final moments as if they are purging themselves clean.


So why is there nothing? Nothing to really say to you as I’m slowly being eroded away as scrap data?


No, I don’t think you’d really want me to talk about those kinds of things. I know that I certainly don’t want to waste it here speaking about that.


So why do the words not come to me? I mean, the words that really need to be said, that I cannot for the life of me seem to puzzle out what they are with my limited time here?


Are they just not there in the first place?


Is this what it’s like to live life to the fullest, doing what you believe in to the last moment, without any regrets?


I did this all for the sake of the freedom. I did this all to break the world free from the oppressive grasp of the Harway plutocracy. I entered the Holy Grail War with a single goal in mind, and I was fully prepared to kill or be killed in the pursuit of that goal. Gain or loss, life or death, friends or enemies, Victory or defeat; no matter how I sliced it, all that translated to only two outcomes - success or failure. My goal was something worth dying for, something worth killing for. It was something worth devoting my life to, something to sacrifice myself for.


To devote yourself to an ideal like this and die for it because you think it is the right thing, there’s no shame in that.


Is this what it’s like to live life to the fullest, doing what you believe in to the last moment, without any regrets?


It must be. After all, if I had to lose to anyone, I’d rather it have been you. If your sword was the one to cut me down on my path to the Grail, then I would be fine with that. Not that I would want to be the loser, mind you, but if I had to die I’d rather it be in battle by your hands. If it were anyone else I’d have been disappointed in myself, and maybe even worried depending on who I lost to.


But I’m not, because it’s you. I know that even if your goals and my goals might be different, I can still trust you with the Grail if you do win. Because – I realize now – it’s not that I don’t have regrets, it’s just that I don’t have to worry about them anymore with your victory.


Interpret that as you will, okay?


Eh, I shouldn’t really worry about something pointless like this, but I think it is a bit of a loss that we did end up as enemies – if we were in a different situation, like if we actually went to a real school together, we maybe could have even become friends.


The crushing weight of responsibility lifts from my shoulders, and I hope that the world will rest in capable hands…


...I guess I do not have to worry about that anymore.



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HEAVEN’S FEEL SCENARIO REPLICATION PROGRAM HAS FINISHED PROCESSING DATA:


~PLAYER RELIEVED OF [MASTER] STATUS~


COMMAND EXECUTED...

“…It would have been nice to see home again, though.”

[ItsaRandomUsername]

[ VII ] Seventh Blood // Setting Sun
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This...


This is...


This is…confusion?


I…I do not know… I seem to not understand… this is unfamiliar and so very strange…


…Oh…


I see now. That…confirms my fears, then.


This is…fear.


What I am feeling is fear. Then is this the fear of failure? No. That cannot be, for I have already failed. That is something to be meaninglessly afraid of in that case. Then if failure is not to fear because it has already come to pass, then–


–Death. This is the fear of death; the most base of all feelings that a person can know.


...This is what it means to know how what a human feels like.


Is this what you meant, Gawain? Is this what you wanted me to know, to experience firsthand? Was this the reason? To become king, I had to learn what it means to be human? In order for that to happen, in order for me to be complete, I had to lose something?


This is…sadness.


But…yet…


This is…acceptance.


Even though I am dissolving away into component data to be assimilated into the Moon Cell’s operating system, I feel this way that I do. Even though I lost when I was so close to finally receiving what should be mine, I harbor neither disgust nor denial nor even do I direct anger towards you. Now of all times is when I finally accept what it was that I was missing all along.


…So this is what it means to embrace humanity.


I…I suppose I have to thank you for this, Gawain. But, I really should be thanking you, if anything. Because I never could have become a king like this. I would have been unfit to rule humanity. I would have been so unsuitable to take on the mantle of king because a prince like me has so much that he still needs to learn.


It flies in the face of my birthright as a Harway, but I surely would have been the wrong choice.


Oh, how I wish I knew all that before this happened.


This is…regret.




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HEAVEN’S FEEL SCENARIO REPLICATION PROGRAM HAS FINISHED PROCESSING DATA:


~PLAYER RELIEVED OF [MASTER] STATUS~


COMMAND EXECUTED...

“...”

[ItsaRandomUsername]

[ VIII ] – Last Blood // FINAL
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…What more is there to say? In the face of my defeat, what else can be said? It was my loss, and it was a fair one at that. So what is there to say at the end? There is nothing else for me but to ponder my last moments before I return to the primordial data from which I was spawned.


Don’t stop.


That was my one request of you, Victor of the Holy Grail War. My one request to you, who had come to represent my beliefs. You were the living proof that conflict is the key to growth from stagnation, the wheat of progress culled from the chaff of torpor. You overcame a languid existence and survived because you were the fittest.


…Well, you certainly did not stop.


The up-and-coming, infamous boy genius;


The knight struggling with his identity for the sake of a simple wish;


The Cyber Ghost, a kindred spirit to you and me;


The zealous lunatic;


The assassin;


The girl who was once an ally;


…And the King who would inherit the world…


You infallibly claimed victory from each and every one of your opponents by exerting your superiority over them on the field of battle, as it was determined according to my theories.


…You did not stop for anyone…


…You did not even stop for me.


In that sense, at least, my own wish has been granted.


Finally, at the end, an anomalous existence overcomes an anomalous existence.


How ironic, and yet…how fitting it is…


If I am just a ghost of the past then it is now time for Twice H. Peaceman to again fade away into nothingness and into the next life.


Go on now and take your wish. Take what is rightfully yours. Step into Heaven’s Cage and seat yourself on a throne of kings wrought by your own hands. Enter the endless maze of the photonic crystal’s matrix and impose your will on reality.


You deserve it.


Even if we know what will happen when you enter the core of SE.RA.PH, still…


…You deserve it.


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[pureauthor]

Dan. ;_;

Continue being awesome, IRUN!

[ItsaRandomUsername]

Dan, I thought your wish was beautiful in its own way... ;_;

[Omegastar]

you forgot the "EXTRA1 – Next Time" post reserve.

[ItsaRandomUsername]

I'm saving that one for later.

[pureauthor]

I see you also renamed Rani and Leo's chapters.

[ItsaRandomUsername]

I thought of something better, actually.

Of course, those titles are also liable to change at the last minute as well in accordance to the mood of their related snippet.

...Anyhoo~

[Spinach]

Daaaan. That was my second favorite so far, with Gatou still holding first place, IRUn.

[ItsaRandomUsername]

Coincidentally, that's how my order of favorites goes, too.

[ItsaRandomUsername]

Any guesses as to what the EXTRA segment belongs to?

[SeiKeo]

Ryougi.

[pureauthor]

Our protagonist.

Spoiler:

As he gets deleted for being junk data. Sayonara, gakusei-san.

[Ergast]

What pureauthor said.

And really beautiful. Dan was the only Master I didn't dislike in any given moment. Even Shinji or Rani had me muttering things like: "Annoying brat" or "Freaking bitch" from time to time (And I'm sure I'll think the same things with Rin, when I'll finally play Rani's route).

[ItsaRandomUsername]

Hookay! After a few days of hiatus, Rin finally gets hers!

[Spinach]

I liked this one. Not as much as Gatou's, but I think it's hovering right beside Dan for second place.

I found Rin's final moments more touching than Rani's, for some reason. Probably because I'm attached to FSN Rin, and she looks exactly like her, giving her an edge of familiarity.

[Ergast]

...dammit. I had only played Rin's route, and after reading your snippet, I'm glad I did.

[ItsaRandomUsername]

You're still expected to play Rani's too, Erg.