Like Glass (HF True, AU)(Sakura, Rin)(One-shot)

[Lycodrake]

;_; What? N-no, I'm just...

They won't stop flowing. It's all your fault, you idiot! Stupid, stupid Beamu... *sob* why do you do this to me...

Fafnir is Tsundere for Beam? Oh dear, another addition to Beam's Harem...

[Aiden]

*collects Fafnir's tears in vials*

[Fafnir]

*collects Fafnir's tears in vials*

Remember to use quartz vials. They explode in contact with-... oh.

Too late.

[Seika]

Yeah, it works better. I was wondering if you could have had this without Rin's death - Mike and I fully hashed out my feelings over why HF True didn't work for me in the HF movie thread, and the big one was how little mention was given of everyone that died for Sakura. But Rin dying does allow Sakura's emotional situation here to happen rather more plausibly. Maybe that's actually healthier for her, mentally, in the long run? Having read this 'fic, there's so much that still applies in HF True. I mean, look at this:

How many lives does it take to guarantee the happiness of one person? She wondered that, once. She wondered that, because so many people died for this to happen. For her to have Senpai, to live with him, to live with Rider. To be alive at all.

So many people died. She took so many lives.

And yet in the end, she’s the one still alive. She’s the one people look after, care for, comfort.

Are you happy?

It seems wrong, somehow. It’s messed up. People shouldn’t be doting over her. They shouldn’t be caring for her, comforting her, ensuring her life is warm and full of happiness.

So many people, dead because of her. The town was never quite the same, even two years after the tragedy.

Are you happy?

She got through it before by not thinking. If she didn’t think about it too hard, didn’t question it, didn’t ponder it, it wasn’t painful. She didn’t think of the lives lost, of the empty homes, of how warm and red Nee-san’s blood was on her hands. If she buried it and left it alone, it would never be a problem.

It worked. For awhile.

Are you happy?

And then it didn’t.

Isn't it better if that extra bit of shame from Rin dying can actually make her confront her feelings, being 'remorseful and angry and full of guilt, so much goddamn guilt, and enough self-loathing'? Personally, I can't help but feel that 'She got through it before by not thinking' is an incredibly valid interpretation of Sakura in HF True.

Rin might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it's no good to be so burdened that a single straw can break you.

[Mike1984]

*prefers this to actual HF True*

Oh, yeah, because how dare Sakura actually get to be happy for once....

Yeah, it works better. I was wondering if you could have had this without Rin's death - Mike and I fully hashed out my feelings over why HF True didn't work for me in the HF movie thread, and the big one was how little mention was given of everyone that died for Sakura. But Rin dying does allow Sakura's emotional situation here to happen rather more plausibly. Maybe that's actually healthier for her, mentally, in the long run? Having read this 'fic, there's so much that still applies in HF True. I mean, look at this:

It wouldn't work because, whilst she does feel bad about the people who died, she doesn't have any real emotional attachment to them, and nor is it in any way her fault that they're dead. So, it's a lot easier for her to get over it, and Sakura is far too strong to break down that easily.

I'm not honestly convinced that even Rin dying would have this effect, but it is at least plausible, not least because she feels directly responsible for Rin's death in a way that she isn't for the deaths of the others.

Personally, I can't help but feel that 'She got through it before by not thinking' is an incredibly valid interpretation of Sakura in HF True.

Not really. Sakura is well aware of what happened and does think about it, she just doesn't dwell on it needlessly, because that serves no purpose.

[Lycodrake]

Oh, yeah, because how dare Sakura actually get to be happy for once....

^I give you Mike clockwork people. Clockwork.

[RadiantBeam]

Yeah, it works better. I was wondering if you could have had this without Rin's death - Mike and I fully hashed out my feelings over why HF True didn't work for me in the HF movie thread, and the big one was how little mention was given of everyone that died for Sakura. But Rin dying does allow Sakura's emotional situation here to happen rather more plausibly. Maybe that's actually healthier for her, mentally, in the long run? Having read this 'fic, there's so much that still applies in HF True. I mean, look at this:



Isn't it better if that extra bit of shame from Rin dying can actually make her confront her feelings, being 'remorseful and angry and full of guilt, so much goddamn guilt, and enough self-loathing'? Personally, I can't help but feel that 'She got through it before by not thinking' is an incredibly valid interpretation of Sakura in HF True.

Rin might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it's no good to be so burdened that a single straw can break you.

Funny enough, I had this story in my head for awhile, and in the original version Rin was still alive, and this just went off of HF True and completely deconstructed the sugary sweetness of it. And yet I couldn't actually write it out and make it flow the way I wanted to until I killed Rin. Go figure.

[Aiden]

Oh, yeah, because how dare Sakura actually get to be happy for once....



It wouldn't work because, whilst she does feel bad about the people who died, she doesn't have any real emotional attachment to them, and nor is it in any way her fault that they're dead. So, it's a lot easier for her to get over it, and Sakura is far too strong to break down that easily.

I'm not honestly convinced that even Rin dying would have this effect, but it is at least plausible, not least because she feels directly responsible for Rin's death in a way that she isn't for the deaths of the others.



Not really. Sakura is well aware of what happened and does think about it, she just doesn't dwell on it needlessly, because that serves no purpose.

An ending that doesn't acknowledge the countless people who died so she could even have that opportunity feels rather hollow, Mike.

[Mike1984]

Funny enough, I had this story in my head for awhile, and in the original version Rin was still alive, and this just went off of HF True and completely deconstructed the sugary sweetness of it. And yet I couldn't actually write it out and make it flow the way I wanted to until I killed Rin. Go figure.

Yeah, because it just doesn't work with Rin alive. Sakura is too damn strong to break down in a HF True-like situation, at least long term.

Amusingly, I did have a lemon once which was based on a similar premise (Sakura feeling overly guilty and wanting to be "punished"). I think it was more an excuse to get Shirou to spank and dominate Sakura, though, so....

An ending that doesn't acknowledge the countless people who died so she could even have that opportunity feels rather hollow, Mike.

She does acknowledge that, she is just strong enough to get past it. And, I don't recall seeing Rin's ending acknowledging "oh, yeah, I only have what I have because I happened to be born first and, thus, my younger sister was the one who got tossed into the worm pit to be tortured to death whilst I fuck off to London", so....

[Seika]

*sigh* We had this precise argument only a few days ago.

Can we just say that happened once more, we had a conclusion (namely Mike missed some hours of posting and never got around to arguing back again), and leave it at that?

[Aiden]

She does acknowledge that, she is just strong enough to get past it. And, I don't recall seeing Rin's ending acknowledging "oh, yeah, I only have what I have because I happened to be born first and, thus, my younger sister was the one who got tossed into the worm pit to be tortured to death whilst I fuck off to London", so....

Show me the moment the former point comes up, and I'll acknowledge you're right.

... also, is UBW!Rin even aware of the torturous worm pit at all? Cause I recall her finding out about that for the first time in HF.

[RadiantBeam]

... also, is UBW!Rin even aware of the torturous worm pit at all? Cause I recall her finding out about that for the first time in HF.

Rin never knows about the torturous worm pit until HF.

[Aiden]

Rin never knows about the torturous worm pit until HF.

Yeah, I was pretty sure on that point. Thanks for confirming, though!

[Mike1984]

Show me the moment the former point comes up, and I'll acknowledge you're right.

In HF True she explicitly talks about what happened and how she won't let her regrets crush her. That seems like "thinking about it" to me....

... also, is UBW!Rin even aware of the torturous worm pit at all? Cause I recall her finding out about that for the first time in HF.

And?

Why should she get to be happy just because she's ignorant of the suffering that has allowed her to reach the position she's in, rather than being well aware of it and attempting to atone for it?

[Seika]

Why should she get to be happy just because she's ignorant of the suffering that has allowed her to reach the position she's in, rather than being well aware of it and attempting to atone for it?

If you were kidnapped and forced to give all your money to, say, a hypothetical trust fund of mine, do I have a responsibility to be unhappy, being perfectly ignorant of this fact?

I mean, that comparison actually makes it seem worse than it is. Rin has evidence in front of her eyes that Sakura has friends, gets along reasonably at school and attends a club. I know very little about you, one way or the other.

[Aiden]

You can't be unhappy about something you aren't even aware is going on, Mike.

[Mike1984]

If you were kidnapped and forced to give all your money to, say, a hypothetical trust fund of mine, do I have a responsibility to be unhappy, being perfectly ignorant of this fact?

No but, equally, if you become aware of it you still don't have a "responsibility" to be unhappy, because it's not your fault.

You can't be unhappy about something you aren't even aware is going on, Mike.

Of course not, but why should it be considered "wrong" for Sakura to be happy because she's aware of the sacrifices that allowed for that happiness (even though she's not responsible for them in any way), but not for Rin to be just because she's not (due to her own unwillingness to look into her sister's life)?

[Seika]

No but, equally, if you become aware of it you still don't have a "responsibility" to be unhappy, because it's not your fault.

Right, so it's not Rin's fault, she needn't be unhappy, we can all go home?

[Mike1984]

Right, so it's not Rin's fault, she needn't be unhappy, we can all go home?

No, because the same argument applies to Sakura in HF True, and yet you seem to dislike the ending because Sakura has the gall to actually be happy and to live her life rather than moping in the corner.

[Aiden]

No but, equally, if you become aware of it you still don't have a "responsibility" to be unhappy, because it's not your fault.



Of course not, but why should it be considered "wrong" for Sakura to be happy because she's aware of the sacrifices that allowed for that happiness (even though she's not responsible for them in any way), but not for Rin to be just because she's not (due to her own unwillingness to look into her sister's life)?

I never said it was wrong for her to be happy, I just said I don't like HF True for mostly glossing over all the people that died for it. I'd have preferred for any True ending coming out of that route to be bittersweet due to all of the sacrifices. Don't put words in my mouth.