I guess Agaillus wrote Tousaka because in Fate/Extra that's how they romanized it. But as far as I remember, either Tosaka, Tohsaka or Toosaka are better romanizations, from what Koto-nee said. I personally go with Tohsaka, it seems (and sounds) better to me.
Spoiler:
I dunno, I can't really see anything wrong with it.Originally Posted by Agailius
I know nothing about Fist of the North Star, so I can't really beta-read it, but it seems like a good start.
It's the spelling used in the Fate/Extra translation, so it is at least legitimate, if rather unusual. Personally, I'd rather he changed it, but I think it is spelt "Tohsaka" more out of fandom tradition than anything "official".
Well, that makes sense, but it doesn't really work all that well for a Grail War....
Also, I'm guessing Zouken would be an exception to that rule, given that he's gone way beyond being just a "douche bag".
Dear god, if Ken found out about Zouken . . . well there's a reason why the FotNS theme sings "You're in shock!" all the time. (Okay it's Yu a Sha or something like that, but yeah.)
There are times were Ken does completely lose his cool. He does have a weakness for damsels in distress (Specially since his girlfriend was kinda NTRed away from him by Shin) and kids. When he sees stuff like that, well, his shirt will explode off his body in a display of PURE AWESOME MANILINESS and he will resemble Bruce Lee on steroids before someone explodes in a gush of way too much blood.
https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Jennifer...language=en_US
Forest is a vampire who's a bit too good for her own good and doesn't know when to leave things alone. Armed with a ridiculously large hand gun, martial arts skills, a bitching pony car, and a love for pop culture she fights the forces of evil. Urban Fantasy 80's Style.
It's because most long 'o's are "ou" in hiragana, but Rin's case it is actually "oo" (too from tooi/far).
So does this mean Koujiro is a Saber, now?
Well, he doesn't sound like the sort of guy to just off Rider (or even Shinji) without working out what the hell is going on there, so it seems quite likely that he will find out....
Bingo, buddy. It's gonna be one helluva fight when they duke it out, when I get around to it.
Oh, yes, there will be glorious, righteous retribution when Ken and Shirou (Oh, gosh, you can combine the two names together!) find out. Zouken will die a horrible death, and Sakura will be swept off her feet.
I think, however, I'm gonna have to not follow one particular route. Can't do Fate for the blindingly obvious reason that the main love interest is replaced by--well--Kenshirou. UBW might've worked, but it'd require Illya's death in order to complete, which I'm against as it'd negate one of the future awesome scenes I'm thinking up. As for HF... naw. Dark Sakura would, well, to be frank, too broken.
For this reason, I think I'm gonna make my own route. As heretical and insane as it sounds.
Actually no.
Because Rider is a woman and Shinji is a child.
He'd attempt to show Shinji the error of his way, and Shinji may become a sidekick. At least cannon Ken would.
And dude, go for your own route. Seriously. XD
Saving Sakura means you could pair Shirou up with her.
https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Jennifer...language=en_US
Forest is a vampire who's a bit too good for her own good and doesn't know when to leave things alone. Armed with a ridiculously large hand gun, martial arts skills, a bitching pony car, and a love for pop culture she fights the forces of evil. Urban Fantasy 80's Style.
*le gasp*Mistress Elf, has anyone ever told you you are a f***ing genius?
Sounds the right path, specially because Ken isn't adverse in dishing out massive amounts of violence and won't help Shirou going the path of Archer, mostly because he is the more of the "I will do what I can were I am" insted of the "I must save everybody, or at least as close to everybody as I can", and Ken isn't adverse to letting people work out their own problems themselves if he know it will help them. Leading them by hand don't really improve their situation, he just kill off the enemies that make such advancement nearly impossible in his Might Makes Right world.
I'd like to see what kind of Hero Shirou would become with Ken's influence.
I think it usually is the best choice to do so. In Fate/Stay Night it's glorious, because you don't have events that have to happen. Here small changes can really affect everything.
I'm pretty sure Ken has a few dozen pressure point moves he could destroy the worms with while leaving Sakura unharmed.
Hokuto Shinken is some crazy shit.
Interesting start. The writing is ok, the plot sounds good but I prefer to wait a few chapters before making judgements.
Oh, and, Malgos? About the orange text--I was trying to make it red (I've rectified it now), like in the visual novel.
Yep!
But it's something I don't mind hearing again and again.
Ironically, my husband's a huge FotNS fan.
https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Jennifer...language=en_US
Forest is a vampire who's a bit too good for her own good and doesn't know when to leave things alone. Armed with a ridiculously large hand gun, martial arts skills, a bitching pony car, and a love for pop culture she fights the forces of evil. Urban Fantasy 80's Style.
Hmm. Maybe he could give me a few pointers on Kenshirou's personality.Yep!
But it's something I don't mind hearing again and again.
Ironically, my husband's a huge FotNS fan.
I think most of the manga is actually translated on Mangafox.
Seriously, reading that will help more than anything.
https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Jennifer...language=en_US
Forest is a vampire who's a bit too good for her own good and doesn't know when to leave things alone. Armed with a ridiculously large hand gun, martial arts skills, a bitching pony car, and a love for pop culture she fights the forces of evil. Urban Fantasy 80's Style.
^this. it's a lot better to get the feel for his personnality yourself then just taking accounts from others. that way it feels more natural as you write it.
If you incorporate Souten No Ken styles to... then Kenshiro gains:
Brain Stab = Control. (Though in a way he has that already)
Freezing objects with energy. (Bullets and daggers! They do nothing! He already has anti dart/arrow.)
Negating Preemptive Attacks.
Able to make the angle of his attacks undecipherable.
Also please consider this for a moment. Technically the living Kenshiro, Toki, Raoh, Kaioh, Ryukan etc still exist at this time, since a Nuclear War is soon to happen, and by what Archer says in Extra you can link this together.
Also remember he has Rei, Shins, Shuu, Yuda (Ironically they were not close but uses a lot due to the range of the moves), Ryuga etc moves.
Man, I CANNOT wait for Musou Tensei.
Or perhaps EVIL KENSHIRO VIA KAIOH POWER... lol no.
Also Kojirou will probably recognise the style, since apparently the style was used by the heroes of the Three Kingdoms of China.
Ken........he summored KEN......
Oh dear God yes!
Favoriting this so HARD! Off to a great start (though. to be fair, I saw the chapter after you had made your corrections), and if you keep this up all you'll really need is a beta-reader. And, yeah, if you want to capture the essence of Ken's character, it's better to just read the entire series on MangaFox. Don't worry, we are more than willing to wait in order to get the best experience possible! Also, Souten no Ken (the prequel) is available on MangaFox if you need more ideas for techniques!
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