Fists of Steel

[Agailius]

Er, Agailius, that's bad... why?

It's not a bad thing at all! At least from a story perspective. In fact, it's VERY good.

From a narrative perspective... ehh... Well, it'd eliminate about 2/3 of all the conflict of canon. With Toki replacing Medea, no one tryin to suck up the town's energy. With Raoh replacing Medusa, no one's blood is getting sucked(and was that the remains of Shinji's face splattered against the wall back there?). Plus, Toki's insane healing-fu would render Zouken a hilariously easy enemy to deal with, and Sakura could be cure with a flick of his Jesus-esque wrists. Not to mention, with the world , ya know, not having experienced nuclear Armageddon, I see little reason why Raoh'd covet the Grail. More than anything, I think he'd just want to show up his brothers.

On the other hand, I bet Lancer and Raoh would get along swimmingly... And if a certain priest is taken care of, I think Lancer would follow him at the drop of a hat. And with teh three lady-Servants being replaced, I don't think Gilly would have the opportunity to use the WOMEN AND CHILDREN line--and I do love denying that goldie what he likes.

[Xamusel]

Okay... wanted to be positively sure about that.

Glad you are willing to undo the stations of the canon here.

[EVA-Saiyajin]

So, more than crossovered characters than just Kenshiro? Pity.

[Etzel]

I don't know the first thing about Fist of the North Star, but I enjoyed reading this. Subscribing, watch yourself.

[2Bad]

It's not a bad thing at all! At least from a story perspective. In fact, it's VERY good.

From a narrative perspective... ehh... Well, it'd eliminate about 2/3 of all the conflict of canon. With Toki replacing Medea, no one tryin to suck up the town's energy. With Raoh replacing Medusa, no one's blood is getting sucked(and was that the remains of Shinji's face splattered against the wall back there?). Plus, Toki's insane healing-fu would render Zouken a hilariously easy enemy to deal with, and Sakura could be cure with a flick of his Jesus-esque wrists. Not to mention, with the world , ya know, not having experienced nuclear Armageddon, I see little reason why Raoh'd covet the Grail. More than anything, I think he'd just want to show up his brothers.

On the other hand, I bet Lancer and Raoh would get along swimmingly... And if a certain priest is taken care of, I think Lancer would follow him at the drop of a hat. And with teh three lady-Servants being replaced, I don't think Gilly would have the opportunity to use the WOMEN AND CHILDREN line--and I do love denying that goldie what he likes.

You can do whatever so long as Raoh's horse is in this.

I guess you could have Freddy be Rider instead, he's also ridden Raoh's horse.

[mAc Chaos]

I can't believe I never found this story until now. KENSHIRO

Idea is great; I'd work on making some parts more unique. So far we are just stepping through various VN / anime scenes with a line or two changed. Having the divergence into Kenshiro's past was good. You want more things like that. Don't be afraid to branch out to your own route.

Elaborating more on things would be good too. I want to see more of Archer and Kenshiro interacting. I was looking forward to seeing Kotomine too, but I guess that must have gone exactly as canon so it was skipped.

[Agailius]

Elaborating more on things would be good too. I want to see more of Archer and Kenshiro interacting. I was looking forward to seeing Kotomine too, but I guess that must have gone exactly as canon so it was skipped.

...Wait, could Ken or Toki actually CURE Kotomine?! Also, trust me on this; Archer and Ken know each other REALLY well. ...Not like that, perv!

[mAc Chaos]

Excellent.

You should also keep your twists and such to yourself. It's more fun to be in suspense. At least for me. Unless you end up getting stuck and need help.

[Agailius]

Hold on, if I make Toki into Caster instead of Medea, that means Kojiro's out, right?

Who'd be Saber?

[Owain]

Rei could work sorta.

[mAc Chaos]

Could just use normal Saber.

But then, Shirou must not have Avalon, or he would have summoned her instead.

[Owain]

Be a rebel, bring in Red Saber Nero

[Agailius]

Could just use normal Saber.

But then, Shirou must not have Avalon, or he would have summoned her instead.

Maybe Zouken invited Shirou over for tea, drugged him, then yanked Avalon out while he was good and unconscious?

- - - Updated - - -

Be a rebel, bring in Red Saber Nero

...How does she fit here?

[2Bad]

Maybe Zouken invited Shirou over for tea, drugged him, then yanked Avalon out while he was good and unconscious?

You've established that Kerry summoned Ken, there is no Avalon.

Stop using the thread as your brainstorming tool.

[Kuradora]

Stop using the thread as your brainstorming tool.

I see no problem with that.

[Rafflesiac]

Nice to see a new chapter; I'm interested in how things will go differently than before and how Assassin will interact with the other servants.

The joke near the beginning though hit me like a thrown brick. Try to make the occasional joke more subtle, and the humor will improve.

[Agailius]

Nice to see a new chapter; I'm interested in how things will go differently than before and how Assassin will interact with the other servants.

The joke near the beginning though hit me like a thrown brick. Try to make the occasional joke more subtle, and the humor will improve.

Self-deprecation is all about execution and timing.