Oh wow. I thought Unfortunate was very meh to bad at first, and poorly formatted, but knowing about the black text makes it much, much better. Dark humor, no doubt, but it deserves credit for being unique. I've never seen a story use that gimmick, and certainly not as the centerpiece.
Rule Breaker didn't strike a chord with me though, while the pool definitely did. Spots was also short and sweet.
Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok
That's all, folks!
Well, the black text use was creative, making "nobody notices Sakura" the only joke was pretty meh.
[04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute
All humour read...I really liked URB the most followed by Day at the Pool, though Pool was kind of dry for most of it.
Spots and Unfortunate are pretty forgettable for me.
Fic'sWishing Upon The Sun (Fate/Guyver) - Updated: 11/04/12
Broken on the Rocks - Updated: 20/07/12
Spoiler:
Well, like I said, without the black text gimmick (which fell flat for me because I was viewing it on a white board), it's really not funny and, given the nature of it, it comes across as mean and spiteful as a result. With the black text working as expected, I might have at least seen some comedy in there, although only the ending really seems like it has much comedic potential (as opposed to just being one long "take that" at Sakura). It's hard to tell, though, because I can't go back and read it again.
I found Unfortunate to be rather amusing. The fact that you guys keep saying it's dark humor when the humor is in black text makes me think that you are all trying to make a pun there. Whatever the case, using Sakura for the character to be ignored was pretty smart. It probably wouldn't have worked for any other FSN character.
I see what you did there.
Unintentional, I assure you
Reading over my short review, I feel really mean - I appreciate the work the entrants put into it, but yes...humour is an individual taste. Whether you find someone who shares your tastes is a rare and lucky thing indeed.
I also didn't want to launch into all the grammar/spelling errors there were. Also, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't classify Unfortunate as 'Dark Humour' but then the joke was ruined for me because at the time I read it, Milbunk had missed one line that referenced Sakura >.> (I use the standard black BG) But still, it's not 'Dark Humour' :/
Fic'sWishing Upon The Sun (Fate/Guyver) - Updated: 11/04/12
Broken on the Rocks - Updated: 20/07/12
Spoiler:
Yeah, the problem is that criticizing an anonymous work, without being able to talk with the author, can come off as pretty mean, so maybe you guys should wait till the names are out before extensively discussing and criticizing it.
Agreeing that it's not "Dark Humor" though, it's not really macabre/cynical or anything. A pretty harmless joke.
[04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute
Oh, what a shock, a not-too-subtle dig at Sakura from Fish....
Why?
At least the author knows that we're judging the work on it's merits, and not because we like or dislike them personally.
I don't think Sakura would call Shirou forgetting her "harmless"....Agreeing that it's not "Dark Humor" though, it's not really macabre/cynical or anything. A pretty harmless joke.
Oh, don't misunderstand, giving constructive criticism is not bad, but once everyone starts repeating "the joke didn't work for me" it stops being constructive and it becomes attacking, just wanted to say that before there it becomes too much.
But you wouldn't call it "dark humor" either, no? It's not about a serious subject matter, it's just about Shirou not noticing Sakura (it's funny because Sakura is shy and Shirou is dense), that's pretty harmless in my opinion.
[04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute
Honestly, that's how criticism works. Sometimes, all you can say is "that just plain doesn't work at all, do something else next time".
Well, honestly, calling it "humour" at all is a bit of a stretch....But you wouldn't call it "dark humor" either, no? It's not about a serious subject matter, it's just about Shirou not noticing Sakura (it's funny because Sakura is shy and Shirou is dense), that's pretty harmless in my opinion.
But, yeah, I guess it doesn't really fit with the description "dark humour". Not sure what it does "fit" as, though, other than being entirely non-sensical and not very funny....
It's all about perception. You may not find it humorous Mike, but others do. Coincidentally, a lot of other members enjoyed A Day at the Pool, while I thought it missed completely in trying to be funny.
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Well, of course, but a lot of people here don't seem to find it funny, so....
Fair enough, but at least A Day at the Pool doesn't come across as being outright mean (whether that is actually intentional is not certain, of course)....Coincidentally, a lot of other members enjoyed A Day at the Pool, while I thought it missed completely in trying to be funny.
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But you're one of the contestants ಠ_ಠ
It's unfortunate, but I have to agree. Illya or Sacchin both could have worked, but Sacchin's for Tsukihime and Illya wouldn't have had the same effect as Sakura did.
Last edited by Flame; March 7th, 2012 at 10:32 AM. Reason: Unlimited typo/derp works
xxxx
Well, I was lucky enough to read through first without noticing the black test. Like I noted.
Without the black text, the entire story would fall completely flat. It's the surprise and subversion upon noticing the hidden text that carries the entire joke.
This. Were this story taking place in Tsukihime, Satsuki would have been just as valid if not a superior choice for a forgotten character. Ilya could technically work due to having no route, but Ilya is no wallflower. She nigh on demands attention with her very presence, and that's not including the Tiger Dojo. Ilya disappearing really doesn't fit the gag well. Sakura can fade into the background, and did exactly that in two routes. And of course, there's Sakura's reputation on the forum to consider. That helps.
This is a much more meta sort of humor, but it works for me.
That's all, folks!
Well, yeah, that probably explains a large part of me not finding it funny (and, me finding it outright offensive follows naturally from that and the content...).
And I still didn't like any of them, so?
Mini Nephthys on Archive of Our Own - where my actual good fics live.
I think Pool would have worked better in a different format. If it was a doujinshi instead, it would have been easier for me to read/follow. As it is, I felt like the switching between the scenes was a little too quick and the scenes could have been elaborated upon.
Oh, what a shock, a not-too-subtle, passive-aggressive dig at me from Mike.... even though all I did was point out something that many people agreed on seeing too.
Last edited by deviatesfish; March 7th, 2012 at 09:31 PM.
It's true, Sakura is the least interesting of the heroines. Although when I discovered the blacktext, I liked it less. Sort of. After I laughed.
[18:00] Spinach: Because I don't like Saber's personality but boy oh boy does she make my dick turn to diamonds when I see her getting tentacled.
[18:01] Leo: feeling superior to EU makes me hard
[16:16] <Bloble> Drakengard? Is that a rhythm game?
Well, I'll agree the entries may have been a little weak, but still, they all had their moments.
Humor is subjective, after all.
*sigh*
We'll have to wait and see what the judges say, though.
Last edited by KAIZA; March 7th, 2012 at 10:56 PM.
There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just surprised that you don't like your own entry.
xxxx
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