(Crosspost from SB. Inspired by Please Stop Eating the Hell Butterflies)
Moderation is not Fun
ATTENTION ALL MASTERS AND SERVANTS
(A message from Risei Kotomine)
We have received several complaints from the Mages Association regarding behavior which could potentially reveal the existence of the Holy Grail War, and Magic in general. As such, you are asked to please stop the following behaviors.
Emiya Kiritsugu- We have uncovered evidence that you have purchased a large amount of demolition charges. Should we be worried?
Irisviel von Einzbern- We are aware that this is your first time away from your families estate, but we must ask you to refrain from commenting on this within earshot of civilians.
Saber- Please continue your exemplary behavior.
Kotomine Kirei- It doesn't matter whether the prize was a nice hat, eating twice your bodyweight in Mapo Tofu tends to make people uncomfortable
Assassin- Stop following people around, then using Presence Concealment when they turn around. Hiding behind a wall with your mask poking out is even more unacceptable.
Tohsaka Tokiomi- At least try to control your Servant
Archer- Calling everyone "Mongrel" is not proper behavior. While you may be superior to them in every way, this does not mean you have to recognize that they are there
Matou Kariya- Stop stalking the Tohsaka
Berserker- Why have you been stealing motor vehicles?
Waver Velvet- Control your Servant
Rider- Loudly proclaiming your intent to conquer the world is drawing attention from the authorities. Please stop.
Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald- Waver Velvet has been chosen as a Master. You may not have him ejected from the Holy Grail War for stealing your Catalyst.
Lancer- When you go out in public, please cover your "Love Spot"
Caster- Has anyone seen either Caster or his Master?