Five_X's Shorts and Briefs Drawer

[Five_X]

No pants in here, though.

Here's where I can stuff all the random smaller pieces of fanfiction writing I do - as well as some others, should I feel like it - without cluttering the forum in general. After all, sometimes it's nice to work on the small stuff instead of big projects *cough*MPII*cough*.

Table of Contents:

Dead Apostle Acceptance Letter

------------------------

666 Alleyway Street
Misaki, Japan
TM Prefecture T1T N2K

November 15, 1999

Founder
Dead Apostle Ancestors, Ltd.
27 "" Road
Aylesbury
Buckinghamshire, KZ5 G5B


Dear Sir or Madam,

If you are receiving this letter, then you have successfully terminated your superior, and are now eligible to be elected into the ranks of the Dead Apostle Ancestors (c)! This is an honour bestowed to very few people, and one you should take immense pride in. However, there are several notes that you must bear in mind whilst receiving your new title:

Initially, you may be viewed with hostility by fellow members of our esteemed group. Do not fear them! They are your colleagues, and indeed their anger may in fact be expressions of love and appreciation rather than indicative of any offensive fantasies of destroying your soul and absorbing it into their collective unconscious. We here at Dead Apostle Ancestors Ltd. (c) try to maintain an atmosphere of casual productivity in the face of some of our more alien members, and we strive for equality amongst all definitions of blood sucking creatures of the night.

Regarding that last statement, one caveat must be brought to light: though we welcome those who do not drink blood in the manner written down in our Charter of Rights (book 5, chapter 341, section 28a following through to c, with footnotes in the bloodied tears of virgins) are unfortunately excluded from our ranks. To clarify, if your unique behaviour involves the reincarnation of your immortal soul into compatible hosts, infestations of unprofessionally phallic worms, or straws, then I am afraid that you cannot be recognized by our esteemed order.

Finally, please do not be afraid that you will not fit into our company. With a staff list that includes or at one time included ancient extraterrestrial arachnids, tragically young quadriplegics and a suicidal stomach with a weakness for reflective surfaces, we are objectively the least discriminatory group in the world. No matter your background or personality, we will accept you no matter who you are, and will appreciate whatever you may bring to our company, unless what you would bring would perhaps be the aforementioned phallic worms.

I hope that you will respond to this message with haste.






Finding a new life in unlife,

C. Moon

[Aiden]

Alas, poor Zouken, he cannot qualify!

Also, another drabble thread.

My power grows ever more.

[Five_X]

Even Dead Apostles have standards.

[Aiden]

Especially Dead Apostles.

Do you honestly think Altrouge wants to be known for associating with such filth?

[Spinach]

666 Alleyway Street

lol

[Mattias]

GOLD!

Although the bit about denying straws went over my head....

[Chojomeka]

I wonder what Sacchin would do if she got that letter?

[Five_X]

That letter was actually kind of written with Sacchin in mind!

^^ What kind of wuss vampire sucks blood through a straw? Not one that'd be let into the 27 DAAs, for sure.

[Lycodrake]

That letter was actually kind of written with Sacchin in mind!

Sweet! I thought so. ^^
...though it makes me wonder what Sion and Riesbyfe would react or think about it.

[Chojomeka]

Heh. just imagine that she gets that letter just before Louvre bites it.

[Five_X]

Sweet! I thought so. ^^
...though it makes me wonder what Sion and Riesbyfe would react or think about it.

"Harem?"

[Lycodrake]

"Harem?"

...Sion's or Satsuki's?

And why do I think Sumire would throw a party over this sort of thing?

[Five_X]

...Sion's or Satsuki's?

And why do I think Sumire would throw a party over this sort of thing?

Satsuki's lesbian harem. With Arihiko as the token dude.

[Aiden]

Satsuki's lesbian harem. With Arihiko as the token dude.

Hey, she got the rank upgrade, might as well reap the perks.

[Lycodrake]

Satsuki's lesbian harem. With Arihiko as the token dude.

...every time I think "Arihiko", I either end up thinking Bloble, or Nanako/Seven.

@Aiden: Hm, quite true.

[Five_X]

...every time I think "Arihiko", I either end up thinking Bloble, or Nanako/Seven.

@Aiden: Hm, quite true.

Rejoice, Bloble! Your wish has come true.

[Santo]

that letter had me in stitches. Fukken subbed.