No pants in here, though.
Here's where I can stuff all the random smaller pieces of fanfiction writing I do - as well as some others, should I feel like it - without cluttering the forum in general. After all, sometimes it's nice to work on the small stuff instead of big projects *cough*MPII*cough*.
Table of Contents:
Dead Apostle Acceptance Letter
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666 Alleyway Street
Misaki, Japan
TM Prefecture T1T N2K
November 15, 1999
Founder
Dead Apostle Ancestors, Ltd.
27 "" Road
Aylesbury
Buckinghamshire, KZ5 G5B
Dear Sir or Madam,
If you are receiving this letter, then you have successfully terminated your superior, and are now eligible to be elected into the ranks of the Dead Apostle Ancestors (c)! This is an honour bestowed to very few people, and one you should take immense pride in. However, there are several notes that you must bear in mind whilst receiving your new title:
Initially, you may be viewed with hostility by fellow members of our esteemed group. Do not fear them! They are your colleagues, and indeed their anger may in fact be expressions of love and appreciation rather than indicative of any offensive fantasies of destroying your soul and absorbing it into their collective unconscious. We here at Dead Apostle Ancestors Ltd. (c) try to maintain an atmosphere of casual productivity in the face of some of our more alien members, and we strive for equality amongst all definitions of blood sucking creatures of the night.
Regarding that last statement, one caveat must be brought to light: though we welcome those who do not drink blood in the manner written down in our Charter of Rights (book 5, chapter 341, section 28a following through to c, with footnotes in the bloodied tears of virgins) are unfortunately excluded from our ranks. To clarify, if your unique behaviour involves the reincarnation of your immortal soul into compatible hosts, infestations of unprofessionally phallic worms, or straws, then I am afraid that you cannot be recognized by our esteemed order.
Finally, please do not be afraid that you will not fit into our company. With a staff list that includes or at one time included ancient extraterrestrial arachnids, tragically young quadriplegics and a suicidal stomach with a weakness for reflective surfaces, we are objectively the least discriminatory group in the world. No matter your background or personality, we will accept you no matter who you are, and will appreciate whatever you may bring to our company, unless what you would bring would perhaps be the aforementioned phallic worms.
I hope that you will respond to this message with haste.
Finding a new life in unlife,
C. Moon