Wishing Machine

[Deathhappens]

Granted, but the revelation drives you mad.

[Sunara]

Granted but ur desire for his madness 'causes him to destroy the thread.

I wish each wish now has destruction in it.

[Reynel]

Granted, you are first, cannot witness the rest.

I wish I could read minds.

[Deathhappens]

Granted, but you cannot make sense of what you read.

[Draconic]

I wish for Deathhappens' wish.

[Deathhappens]

I forgot about that again, didn't I. Alright, I wish I could eat whatever food I want whenever I want it!

[Reynel]

Granted, but at the cost of your sense of taste.

I wish to be able to reset my age to whichever I wanted whenever I wanted to.

[Bird of Hermes]

Granted, your consciousness has been forced back in time whenever you were 'X' age and have lost memory of your future self - trapping you in an endless time loop.

I wish for a Bacon, Brie and Cranberry sandwich.

[Zurvan]

Granted, but I'm the one that eats it

I wish for a good night's rest

[Walnut Sparks]

You'll sleep soundly through the burglars, too.

I wish to be able to make curse tablets that actually work, and a stylus and a supply of lead sheets for it.

[Sunara]

Granted but the curses affect you too.

I wish I lived anywhere but here.

[AsGryffynn]

I wish I would, for once in this bloody stage of my life, get what I fucking want at last!

[Draconic]

Ignoring AsGryffynn because he didn't grant Sunara's wish.

@Sunara:
Granted. You now live in my basement.

I wish that the majestic tuna fish will one day be free of fish farms.

[the god of world-0]

Granted, the tuna now RULES THE WORLD!!!! Congratulations on turning into slaves/food for fish.

I wish I could just get this f*cking bugs out of my room.

[Draconic]

Granted. They're all gone. They are all replaced by different bugs.

I wish for noodles.

[Reynel]

Granted, noodles welfare is assured as new laws give death penalty to whoever tries to eat them.

I wish to have the time and resources to keep up with all the nasuverse.

[the god of world-0]

Granted, but only barely enough and nothing more, know your life belongs to type moon.

I wish to be amazing in everything I do

[Walnut Sparks]

You got it. You turn out to be outstanding at everything you put your hand to, basking in the amazement and envy of everyone around you. Soon, you grow too big for your britches. You're so fantastic and full of yourself that no one can stand you. When a masked passerby shoves you in front of a high-speed train, tearful obituaries mask a secret joy that practically everybody finds in seeing you finally, finally gone. After a few years, you're forgotten except by nerds who dig up old articles and laugh at how you had it coming.

I wish my feet were the same length but average width for their length.

[Deathhappens]

Granted! On a dark alley one winter eve, you make the encounter of one very polite gentleman, who after bashing you over the noggin with a blunt object, proceeds to reenact the legend of Procrustes to bring your feet to your desired dimensions. The rest of your body, unfortunately, does not enjoy his tender ministrations.

I wish I always had a witty answer ready when one is needed.

[the god of world-0]

Granted. every time you need, a witty answer will form completely ready in your head, but everytime you attempt to use it you fumble the words and end up making a full of themself.

I wish for a immortal, unaging and happy puppy dog for my daughter.