Wishing Machine

[Nacho the Doritosedge]

Your pet refuses to vacuum and compress you, but everything in your life is not protected by that drive. You now live alone in space, followed by a psychotic black hole.

I wish that when I said retarded things, said retarded thing would happen.

[Keyne]

Denied. You're a retard.

I wish I was a stupid fuck.

[qsurf]

Granted...though your partners in bed are pissed the hell off.


I wish...I wish I had Tamomo as my Servant.

[Apple]

Name invalid. Servant summoning failed. Now deleting qsurf from moon cell database.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[Keyne]

Granted. Forget about harems.

I wish I had Nero (F/E) as my Servant.

[Black Sword]

Granted... only it's the historical male Roman Emperor, he's absolutely useless, and you're the uke.

I wish we could use Beast's Lair as a way to get to the Spiral of Origin.

[Keyne]

Granted. You're now in the Erotic Black Hole.

I wish to reach new heights.

[DarkMAN]

Granted. You were Falcon Punched into space.

I wish anime/manga lolis were real.

[Black Sword]

Granted. You will now have a seat over there for eternity.

I wish for Bram Stoker and Stephanie Meyer to have a no holds barred cage match fight to the death.

[Nacho the Doritosedge]

Granted. You were the target of the 'Death' part of the match.

I wish I could punch people without negative repercussions of any kind.

[Seika]

Granted. You are now unable to do anything but punch people. They won't do anything to you for it, but you will soon die of thirst. All your own fault.

I wish I had sleep patterns which were normal and regular.

[Sei]

Granted. You now have sleep patterns which are regular and normal, but they shall do you no good. You will continue to require more and more sleep until the day you collapse from total exhaustion.

I wish to be Kyubey.

[Black Sword]

Granted. You are the Kyubey that has emotions, making you abnormal. The other Kyubey kill you and eat you for this.

I wish I knew Japanese.

[MZeroX]

denied. forever weeaboo.

I wish I had more usb ports.

[Black Sword]

Granted. Your flesh has been gouged and sliced open in 24 different spots, with USB units haphazardly shoved in. The wounds have been sewed up with needle and thread, and you must constantly scrap the flesh off so it doesn't grow over the slots.

I wish Long Island would fall into the Atlantic Ocean.

[HitokiriNanaya]

Grainted, but you were in a house on Long Island, hope you can hold your breath.

I wish some very very very horrible would happen to me.

[MZeroX]

Granted. you have no hands or feet, and your stubs are eternally festering so prosthetics can't be fitted, ever.

I wish that I could be motivated to do this homework without great struggle.

[HitokiriNanaya]

Grainted, you now can only do homework, you can't find a job or a lover, soon die lonely, and doing homework.

I wish that I didn't have to go to class.

[MZeroX]

Sweet, I don't want to procreate and dealing with bitches being bitches is not my idea of fun. Unemployment benefits, go!

Granted, you don't ever have to go to class after compulsory education is finished. What you do with your secondary and/or post-secondary education is your responsibility alone.

I wish I had a cookie. and ice cream.

[lilithsama]

Granted. You have a mushroom cookie and dogsh*t flavored ice cream
dig in

I wish MY F*CKING GREEK YOGURT WOULD HAVE THE GODDAMN CONSISTENCY OF F*CKING GREEK YOGURT
IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE LIQUIDY