Wishing Machine

[MZeroX]

Granted. Too bad you still can't win the lottery with those odds.

I wish I had more people to play mahjong with.

[Suncofold]

Granted. They're all old, batty women with the hots for your young, nubile body.

I wish I had dinner now.

[Sei]

Granted. Food poisoning.

I wish something cool would happen.

[Chaos Greyblood]

Granted, but you have totally missed it.

I wish my life was in an anime universe.

[MZeroX]

(cool, old batty women who play gambling games are usually good at them. shit'll be fun as long as i gtfo when they stop playing mahjong)
Granted. Now you will never actually get any poon, since everything is 2D.

I wish I was a main character in a non-crappy story.

[Sei]

Granted. You die at the end.

I wish I had Spiral Power.

[MZeroX]

(sweet, i hope it's a short story)

Granted. But you lack a device for pulling it out.

I wish I had dinner.

[Suncofold]

Granted. Have fun surviving Hisui's cooking.

I wish I didn't have responsibilities.

[Sei]

Granted. You are now dead.

I wish I lived with Saber.

[Chaos Greyblood]

Granted, but now you're gonna get involved with lots of stuff and Gil will harrass you and Saber.

I wish I could get it on with Rider/Medusa =3=

[Suncofold]

Granted, but now you're made of stone 'cause Rider got caught up in the moment.

I wish people weren't so stupid.

[Seika]

Granted. They're all hyper-geniuses and you remain at your current intelligence level. Every conversation goes completely over your head and you can't qualify for a single job. You end your life in abject misery and poverty.

I wish ... Beast's Lair conformed more to UK time instead of US time.

[HitokiriNanaya]

Granted but now you live in the US.

I wish my internet would work right

[Suncofold]

Granted, but now BL's been taken down along with all your PR0NZ.

I wish I had another guitar WHY I SUCH POORFAG?

[Black Sword]

Granted, you now have a guitar that's broken in two.

I wish I were a Heroic Spirit.

[Sei]

Granted. You're assigned to Shinji.

I wish I could better organize my thoughts.

[Suncofold]

Granted, now you have no emotions.

I wish the sky would fall.

[HitokiriNanaya]

Granted you are now smashed under 10 times normal gravity.

I wish Kingdom Hearts 3 would be announced

[Sei]

Already done. Japan exclusive.

I wish I had my emotions back.

[Suncofold]

Granted, but now your thoughts are incapable of being organized.

I wish I had more money.