Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: The Misadventures of Merlin and Shirou

  1. #1

    The Misadventures of Merlin and Shirou

    Hi guys! I'm a lurker that's been lurking BL for a couple months now, and finally decided to write a little snippet collection of my own starring Merlin and Shirou. I've always wondered why Merlin is rarely included in fanfiction that involved the Grail Wars and so, I decided that in this alternate universe, Shirou gets caught up in a new Sixth Grail War, and summoned Merlin as Caster.

    The details for this world are still hazy right now because I've just thought of this snippit up on the spot, so I'll be adding new things as I go along, in terms of Shirou's mentality, this is primarily a post-Fate Shirou. As you can probably tell from the snippit itself. Anyways, this will primarily be comedy and hopefully you guys enjoy this snippit as much as I enjoyed writing it!
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___
    “Nnngh…”

    Shirou woke up with a painful pounding in his head, and a slight pain in his chest. As he opened his eyes he quickly closed them again as the offensive morning sunlight glared into his face.

    “Haa… morning alrea-“

    As Shirou mused to himself out loud, he suddenly froze. The voice that came out of his mouth was most definitely not a man’s voice. Fearing his worst fears have come true, he reached his hands down to his chest, and gently groped. Yep, there were definitely breasts there. Perhaps not large, but they were existent. A spine-chilling scream echoed in the depths of the Emiya household.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _

    “MERLIN!”

    Oh dear, his master was most definitely not amused, but Merlin couldn’t help letting out a perverse giggle. It was time to go see how his potion turned out. Perhaps Shirou would have even more bountiful breasts than Arturia, of course, that wouldn’t be difficult by any means, seeing as how lacking his previous protégé was in the chest department. Merlin always loved to prank people, and he especially loved to prank people that have outrageous reactions. In this aspect, Shirou was just like Arturia.

    Merlin nonchalantly walked towards his master’s room. Upon reaching the doors to Shirou’s room, he knocked once and waited.
    As expected, Shirou did not disappoint, as Shirou slammed the door open, Merlin took a moment to take in his master’s new look. Shirou now had shoulder length long hair, a medium sized bust, and the harsh angles of his face has become softer and more feminine. The girl immediately barraged Merlin with questions, all the while speaking in a cute little girl’s voice.

    “You slipped some of that gender-changing potion into my beer yesterday while we were celebrating yesterday didn’t you” accused Shirou

    “Oho, how observant of you master, allow me to make an observation as well. You do indeed have larger breasts than Arturia”

    At this remark, Shirou’s face turned beet red and the harassed master immediately brought her hands up to her chests to cover herself, despite the fact that she was already wearing a shirt.

    “S-S-Shut up! How can you even joke about this?! You turned me into a woman!”

    “Interesting, looks like the potion changed your temperament as well, I believe the right word for it at this day and age is “tsundere”? In anycase, you’re wrong, master, you’re not quite a woman yet, I do believe you haven’t lost your virginity as a girl? Unless… of course, you decided to experiment with some brave young man last night? Did you tell them of your previous gender master?”

    “DON’T BE RIDICULOUS! I’m not a tsundere and nothing like that happened. Also stop twisting my words around. Change me back!”

    “Ah, but master, haven’t you always said you wished you could be like Arturia? I just granted your wish, now you can be just like her, even in gender! Don’t worry master, I’m sure Arturia would appreciate all the effort you went through to be just like her!”

    “That’s not what I meant and you know it! And stop bringing Saber into this. Honestly, how she managed to stay sane with you in her court is completely beyond me.”

    At this, the bearded legendary wizard put together a pouting face that was utterly unbecoming of a man at such an age.

    “Maa… so cold master, you’re just bitter that you didn’t get to summon Arturia like you wanted for the Sixth Grail War.”
    Shirou palmed his face at his servant’s antics.

    “You’re going off topic, and stop pouting, you look like a perverted old man when you pout. Anyways, don’t make me use a command spell on you.”

    “Go ahead, the war is over anyways, it’s not like there is anymore need for the command spell.”

    “Grr… Merlin…”

    “Hohoho, you’re so fun to tease master, just like Arturia”

    “YOU. ARE. INSUFFERABLE.”

    “Like I said, just like Arturia”
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____

  2. #2
    夜属 Nightkin daniel_gudman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Land of the Blind
    Age
    37
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    142
    I saw the title and was like "Yesss"

    I read it and was like "meh"

  3. #3
    Glorious Grammar Master Race Frantic Author's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    SPACE.
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2,593
    Blog Entries
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by daniel_gudman View Post
    I saw the title and was like "Yesss"

    I read it and was like "meh"
    /10char
    in the end we will make thoughtcrime impossible, for there shall be no words to express it

    #THELEGENDNEVERDIES

    [01:05.15] <@Spinach> I can flash gang signs faster than Sasuke can perform ninjutsu and I rap like Medea's High Speed Divine Words.


  4. #4
    Don't worry, the liquid is resplendent Incarnite Azurnum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Between the pages
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    761
    Needs more stuff. The lead in to the sixth war, the summoning, the other players (blah blah blah).

    Readers generally want some sort of context (unless its >80% crack fuelled). Unless you're going to write this off as a one-shot (Which means you need a fair bit more) then we actually want some sort of semblance of plot. Maybe, we're often a hypocritical bunch but we do have something resembling standards.

    Bah, I'm rambling, simply put:

    1. Not that funny. This is partially because you chose a scenario which people would have high standards for and partially because we haven't really got a grasp of the characters. I kinda get a 'same old, same old' vibe from this which immediately moves it down to 'meh' status.

    2. This is leaning towards the leaner side of what is considered normal. Write more out.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •