Kuzuki Akito and the Alchemist's Stone

[FlameStrike]

Well, up to snuff doesn't equal "not strong enough". If I recall correctly, your issues with Shirou were more about his personality then his power, hence the analogy I made. It's probably more of an issue of people either disliking Harry's character or thinking the story would be more interesting if he was replaced. It's actually quiet difficult to make a character more likeable (in the author's eyes) without either making him OOC or a Mary Sue/Stu. After all, didn't you try to replace Shirou with Touma in one of your fics? Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bash you or anything, I'm just explaining the reasoning behind all the "Harry gets replaced by X" fics. Although if you were to look for pure Harry Potter fics you'll find a ton of Harry gets buffer due to X or "made better" due to Y.

[Frantic Author]

..Disliking Harry? I can understand disliking Shirou because Nasu sort of has a problem with writing decently, but Harry is pretty well written. Very well written in fact.

Also, I'm not annoyed at the fact that Harry is being replaced, more so with the fact that he's still "Harry Potter" just under the name Kuzuki fucking Akito. That's just a douche move, to remove the name his parents gave him after you adopt him.

[FlameStrike]

How well written Harry was is up to debate and personal preference. For example, I think HF Shirou was the most boss/best Shirou. He just seemed to hit all the right buttons with me, where as you totally don't like him.
There maybe some people (or fanfic authors) who just didn't like Harry for whatever reasons.
Actually, I thought Kuzuki Akito might have been another OC, seeing as the chapter didn't explicitly state Harry was renamed. However if Harry really was renamed, I'd agree that it was a dickmove on the part of the adoptive parents. I can see some merit in it if it was for stealth purposes, but Harry would still be somewhat easy to identify thanks to physical characteristics.

[MWkillkenny84]

Ok people, here is the list of the F/SN parings.
Yes, the Fate side of this work is loosely based on the Pregnant Servants 4koma.
I've left the how as a Noodle Incident, and all of you are free to make your imagination work.

Spoiler:

Shirou/Saber/Luvia (in this AU she is False Assassin's Master)
Lancer/Rin (again, AU, he's her Servant)
Archer/Bazette/Rider
Shinji/Caren
False Assassin/Sakura
Gilgamesh/Taiga
Soichirou/Caster

Illya has purchased a new body to her new step mother (I'm also using my idea of Shirou being Touko's son, it will explained into a future chapter), so she does not have her canon post-Grail problems.
As for Dumbles, he's not so manipulative.
He has KNOW Harry was not with the Dursley, but he was not able to find him.
He can't go to the ICW, because they will have asked 1) WHY he wanted to place Harry with a non-magical family and not with some Light-allined family and 2) If Voldie Shorty han not died when he was killed, why he has not asked help to the more competent (in the field kill things who don't die when they are killed, like the DA) mages?
And for the treatment, first he does not truly believed into family who truly and actively harm members of their same blood, especially childrens.
And he has never thinked of going OUTSIDE the British Isles, at worst he has tried to search into the nearest states into Europe.
More will be explained late...
Oh, regardin Zouken... here is not so evil.
Ruthless, yes. Evil? Not so much, for a number of various factors.
The renaming was twofold: sthealt purposes and avoid-curses factor.
The DE will be able to track the infant signature only for two months.
Two months in which the child's adoptive 'Uncles' and 'Aunts' will be on babysit duty.
What do you think will happen during the raid (I've thinked of ten of them, one on the Kuzukis' house and the rest to the friends of the family).
Ah, no Hocrux!Harry. The soul fragment has been exorcized by Kirei in five minutes of boredom.

[Frantic Author]

How well written Harry was is up to debate and personal preference. For example, I think HF Shirou was the most boss/best Shirou. He just seemed to hit all the right buttons with me, where as you totally don't like him.
There maybe some people (or fanfic authors) who just didn't like Harry for whatever reasons.
Actually, I thought Kuzuki Akito might have been another OC, seeing as the chapter didn't explicitly state Harry was renamed. However if Harry really was renamed, I'd agree that it was a dickmove on the part of the adoptive parents. I can see some merit in it if it was for stealth purposes, but Harry would still be somewhat easy to identify thanks to physical characteristics.

"And so, the story of the child knows as Harry James Potter ended, and the tale of Akitō Kuzuki began."

[FlameStrike]

O.o Zouken? Not Evil?! Zouken's name is synonymous with pure unfiltered evil. Heck, I bet he could take a bath in Angra Mainyu All-the-evils-in-the-world goo and come out not batting an eyelash. I'm interested in the "number of factors" that could change him so. Hmm some of the pairings in your spoiler are kind of dubious.

OHgoddamit I fcked up big! I totally didn't even notice the second chapter! Whoops. I better get reading.

[Nacho the Doritosedge]

Oh, regardin Zouken... here is not so evil.
Ruthless, yes. Evil? Not so much, for a number of various factors.

This is me, flipping my shit.

You do know the guy's pretty much evil for a living, right? How he has to eat people every few months, just to live? How he rapes this one girl, er, whatsername, every night?

Heck, if we're going by strictness, the guy wasn't evil in canon, he was only ruthless. He was doing what he had to to attain his goal, and had no pity(note:ruthless) for any people that had to be disregarded to do so.

But you know what? Ruthlessness, when there is too much, is evil. Eating people every few months? EVIL.

It's part of his awesome. DON'T TAKE IT AWAY.

[lhklan]

Shinji/Caren

... Dafuq I just read?

[Frantic Author]

I was hesitant at first, but after reading those pairings?

Yeah uh... no.

[Techlet]

I'm assuming you're going to make the Fate cast extremely overpowered and that there will be a ton of scenes of wizards and witches going "What is this power?!"

Still, not sure if crack fic or just pretending to be.

Also, Homura? Yeah...



-------------------------------------------------------

Akemi Kuzuki Homura waited. The lights above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There was a hat on the three legged stool.

She wasn't sure, but had expected it now for years. Her warnings to Akito were not listened to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Homura was a girl for eleven years. When she was young she watched her brother go and said, "I want to be on the Express, daddy."

Dad said, "No! You will BE KILL BY DEATH EATERS!"

There was a time when she believed him. Then as she got older, she stopped. But now in the living room, she knew there were Witches.

"This is interesting," the Sorting Hat said. "You must fight the Death Eaters."

So Homura got out her wand and blew up the ceiling.

"No! I must kill the Witches!" She shouted.

The Hat said, "No, Homura. You are the Witches."

And then Homura was a Gryffindor.

[Mike1984]

Heck, if we're going by strictness, the guy wasn't evil in canon, he was only ruthless. He was doing what he had to to attain his goal, and had no pity(note:ruthless) for any people that had to be disregarded to do so.

But you know what? Ruthlessness, when there is too much, is evil. Eating people every few months? EVIL.

It's part of his awesome. DON'T TAKE IT AWAY.

Yeah, he was evil. But, like you say, he was evil because of his extreme ruthlessness, rather than because of any deliberate malice.

[Kieran]

... Dafuq I just read?

Reason to believe that Shinji is in Hell? After all, he now has Kirei as a father-in-law - who's capable of performing shotgun Black Key weddings.

[lhklan]

No... Just... No.
You know what, after seeing that and a few more things, I'm getting the Feth out of here.

[MWkillkenny84]

Ok, reasons why Zouken is not so evil.
Oh, he IS evil, on mundane and even magical standards.
He torture and kill in horrible ways those who interfer with him and his plans? Yes.
The 'training' of Sakura was painful and worm rape-based, at least at the beginning? Check. But they was not the canonical ones, and here he not see Sakura as a tool, but an heir for the Makiri/Matou magic.
A worm who worked as an anchor for Avenger/AM has been inserted in her? Check. But that was a plan to remove the taint from the Grail, and the events of the Fifth has make him say "Just as planned.".
Use of dark magics and his familiars to extend his lifespan? Check, even if he's planning to letting himself die if the Grail will be completly dismantled.

Spoiler:

Ok, first thing, his relationship with Justica was not so one-sided. In the period between the planning of the Holy Grail Ritual and the effectual starting of the one (read: Justica's sacrifice to become the Greater Grail Core) they have fallen in love with each other, not the one sided admiration/crush of Canon!Zouken.
And they have even consumed the 'material' side of the relationship.
The result of that night was a daughter, who has been hidden by Zouken, under suggestion of Justica, in another clan allied/associated with the Makiris (Zouken has taken care of having one or more eyes on said daughter descendant, and one of his plans to renew the Matou's bloodline was to adopt/offer a patronage to the youngest descendant, but little Hitomi has revelead herself to be a magus, and the plan has been posponed) to avoid her being used as a guinea pig/political pawn by unscrupolous magicians (himself included, because he know himself too well).
Second thing, in the istant of Justica becoming the Greater Grail, she has used that enourmus mass of power to 'transplant' some of her own circuits, some of the 'light' of the Grail, into Zouken's body.
To make sure he will have ALWAYS remembered her.
Here, Zouken has never forgotten WHY he want the Grail War to be a success.
His soul is not rotten, at least compared to his canon counterpart's.

So yes, the old manipulative bastard is evil, but not at a level to make him enter into the kill list of all the characters around., Kirei included.
Technology, you have found the shot-out!
Even if that scene will never be a reality... posed no one will try to harm a certain one, of course.
If it happen? The wizards are so screwed that even Zero!Caster and his Master will have pity of them.

And, for something different, a little taste of what will happen in the next chapter.

Spoiler:

****01****

Kuzukis’ House

We see Caster/Medea setting the table with an elegant tablecloth, silverware, candles and Greek cuisine, dressed in a semi-transparent night dress that revealed her lingerie.


It was perfect: children go to sleep early, rooms soundproofed via spells (same ones her aunt Circe has taught her ages ago for those types of occasions), ‘special’ dress…


‘I’ll have to remember to thank Rin−san for giving me the address of that particular store…’


… for the anniversary of their honeymoon, and soft music on the radio.


What might ever have the possibility to ruin the evening (and especially the after dinner)?


A bunch of charlatan dressed as pseudo mages appearing in the middle of the room with a resounding CRACK and crashing on the table, that’s what!


With a nervous tic on her eyebrows, Medea started to literally curse them to the Tartarus and back.


The two survivors passed the following years stuttering of a blue haired demon escaped from Hell to torture them.

Reason to believe that Shinji is in Hell? After all, he now has Kirei as a father-in-law - who's capable of performing shotgun Black Key weddings.

Yes, Shinji is in his own personal Hell, with the King of Trolls as in-law.
Boys, I've already stated in the tags who this story has crack elements, can you wait for the real chapters to be disgusted?
Oh Kieran, can I use part of your confrontation Medea/Dumbledore, but without the wand passage (that is reserved for Illya: NO ONE mess with her extended family!)?

[lhklan]

... Allright, the sneak peak got me back. This has potentials, but explaining Zouken isn't evil is gonna need a shitload of scenes.
PS: ShinjixCaren is more like he's her servant, right? Right? RIGHT?

[Techlet]

Technology [...]

Goddammit.

[MWkillkenny84]

... Allright, the sneak peak got me back. This has potentials, but explaining Zouken isn't evil is gonna need a shitload of scenes.
PS: ShinjixCaren is more like he's her servant, right? Right? RIGHT?

Oh yeeeesss... her and their daughter.
His new nickname is Pack Mule Shinji, inside their circle of acquitances (and they are acquitances only because Sakura as asked very nicely to not kill him for his past sins), for all the things they make him carring when they go SHOPPING!
Total women power, they order and he can only obey.
Even more because Kirei (to troll Shinji even more) has strated to spoil his granddaughter rotten.

[Mike1984]

So yes, the old manipulative bastard is evil, but not at a level to make him enter into the kill list of all the characters around., Kirei included.

I think that his treatment of Sakura alone is enough to get him on the "kill list" of Shirou and Rin, at least....

[lhklan]

... Kirei? Spoiling granddaughter? That was hard image to think up at first, then I realised he did it because it would mean Shinji suffered.
... Now I'm waiting to see Kirei go Overprotective grandpa on the DE for scaring his granddaughter.

[MWkillkenny84]

... Kirei? Spoiling granddaughter? That was hard image to think up at first, then I realised he did it because it would mean Shinji suffered.
... Now I'm waiting to see Kirei go Overprotective grandpa on the DE for scaring his granddaughter.

Try Dumbles and Fudge, second year (Hitomi is one of the Basilisk's victims, petrification effect), who found themselves on the receiving end of Kirei's grandfatherly rage and Gil FATHERLY rage (the great idea of sending Hagrid to Azkaban because the Ministry has to be seen doing something. Too bad Hagrid, by that time, has become a friend of Mami, Gil's daughter), and again Fugde in the Third Year (Dementors).
GoB Ensue.
And they have to pray Kirei will not be able to talk a certain colleagues of his into 'removing' them.
Or bribe her with tons of curry.
You ask why Mami consider Hagrid as a friend?
He's competent (in his favourite field, the Magical Creatures) and he remind her the stories of her father on his long lost friend Enkidu...

I think that his treatment of Sakura alone is enough to get him on the "kill list" of Shirou and Rin, at least....

If it was the simple "Kill him and remove the problem/avenge Sakura", everyone will have killed Zouken.
The problem is: the bastard has placed some bombs somewhere in Fuyuki City, tied at his magic with a dead man switch.
Meaning, he die or his magic disappear, the bombs go boom.
And it is something they all want to avoid.
Well, he will live to the day they will found the bombs and disarm them.
After that, it will be Worm Hunt Season.