Kuzuki Akito and the Alchemist's Stone

[MWkillkenny84]

Introduction and HP-side of the Prologue.

Ok, here is a tentative of my idea HP/Fate crossover.

The series involved are © of their respective authors, publishers and animation studios / film studios.


Nothing here has been made for profit…


Even if some greedy part of me wishes otherwise…


Especially the Harry Potter‘s fan part of me.


I ask all the members of the Beast’s Lair to help me into the proofreading process, and if you want to post omakes (the ones compatibles with the story will be incorporated into the fic), snippets and ideas you can all do it.



Now, ONWARD!





United Kingdom, town of Little Whinging, Surrey.



In one of the many nearly identical streets of the little, dull town, a changing event was nearly to occur.

A black cat rested on a wall, lazily watching the number 4 of that road.

For all the day, the animal has observed the inhabitants of the house.

A thin, blonde and meddlesome woman, a whale of a man and their piggish, already spoiled rotten son.

At a certain point of the evening, the feline seemed to turn heads in a apparently random direction, as he was observing someone coming.

And, a few instants later, an old man dressed in outstandish purple robes appeared out of nowhere in the place the cat’s look was pointed and started to walk to the house.

At his passage, the street lamps began to shut down one by one, plunges the street in a semi darkness lit only by moon and stars.

After that, the cat jumped down off the wall ... only to transform himself into a stern-looking woman with an annoyed expression.

“Minerva…”

“Albus… it is the truth?” The woman voice was broken by the desperate need to know the truth “He is truly dead?” Asked the woman to the old man.

“Yes, it appears to be true, even if at a terrible price. The Potters’ lives.”

“Oh no… poor James” Said Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts' Teacher of Transfiguration “Lily… Little Harry…”

“Little Harry has survived, for some strange reasons.”

“… Albus, WHY you have asked me to observe this family for all the day? You are not thinking of placing young Harry here, right?”

“It is necessary Minerva. The Dark Lord is dead, but is followers are at large, and only in a place with the same blood as his family’s he will be truly protected from any wizard who will wish him harm.”

“Albus, you can’t be serious! This… people are the worst sort of Muggles around! They despise anything that is outside their narrow world view!
For Godric’s sake, I’ve see the boy kick around his mother during one of his tantrums! They will mistreat poor Harry!”

“Nonsense Minerva, she’s Lily sister, I doubt she will do something so repulsing like harming someone of her own blood.”

In that moment, a kind of distant rumble began to be heard, sound that was rapidly approaching them.

A giant looking man on a flying motorcycle started to land in front of them, looking sad and depressed.

Now, for we who know the infinite worlds of the Kaleidoscope, we can skip the next few minutes without too much problems.

Baby Harry Potter, Boy−Who−Lived, Savior of the Magical World (or simply of the Ministry of Magic−controlled section of the Magical side of the United Kingdom, it depends to who you ask an opinion), one years of age, was left in the middle of that cold night of November at the doorstep of his magic−phobic relatives’ house.

With only a blanket, a letter and the vague idea by the wizards who the [censored] who inhabited the house to come at the doorstep, open the door and take the baby inside.

Better if author and I (the narrator) does not say our opinion on the British Wizards…

But, this time, in this world, something different has happened.

This time, a desperate woman and mother, wanting to save his little son, has choose to be smarter… and to have less trust into a certain man.

So, a second spell placed on her little son, sensing his presence on the same TOWN as the Dursley, activated itself.

Making the baby disappear from that place, to reappear into another, in the care of a family who will have truly cared for him and will have been able to protect him.

But this is something Albus Dumbledore will not know for many, many years…



Table of Contents:
Introduction, HP-Prologue: HERE
Fate side of the prologue
Growing Up (Part 1)

[SeiKeo]

Don't use your enter key that much, and please, first things first, make it all in the same font.

[MWkillkenny84]

Corrected, and thanks.

[deviatesfish]

Think you mean 'Little Whinging' not 'Little Whiny'.

[MWkillkenny84]

Done.

[Seika]

Another style point: even if it's not 'realistic' to include giant spontaneous speeches without pauses, it's generally also considered unwise to make everyone sprinkle ellipses throughout their dialogue. If you take this:

“Minerva…”

“Albus… it is the truth? He is… truly dead?”

“Yes, it appears to be true… even if at a terrible price. The Potters…”

“Oh… no… poor James… Lily… Little Harry…”

“Little Harry has survived, for some strange reasons.”

“… Albus, WHY you have asked me to observe this family for all the day?

You've got more ellipses than actual sentences in here. If you want to break up dialogue a bit more, say 'she paused' or something. Even putting 'she said' in between two bits of speech can break it up and give a more natural feel to your writing without the ugliness of ellipses. You also have a 'this' where you meant 'these' at one point.

[Xamusel]

This actually is within my interests.

Proceed.

[MWkillkenny84]

AN: Thanks for the proofreading folks!
Little challenge: read this chapter. I’ve hidden here a certain someone IRUN and Fraggle know very well, plus a shot−out to two (in)famous series.
I only say Archer will be perplexed for this character and its ‘coworkers’ apparition in his life.
Even more to have to call one of them niece.

Fate Side of the Prologue

At the same time, nearly half planet of distance from the UK, a very different family was enjoining itself and the night.

A blue haired woman with slightly pointed ears dressed in blue and black, a stern looking man in a business suit and dark framed glasses, and finally an one year old girl in her stroller, amethyst eyes full of curiosity and a little crop of dark−bluish hairs on her head, was walking around in the commercial district of Fuyuki City, Japan.

The couple was the Kuzukis, Soichirou (teacher at the local High School) and his wife Medea, with their little daughter Homura.

Their story was a strange one.

In that city, every sixty years a magical, deathmatch based tournament has taken place in the City.

Seven magi, people able to use a particular branch of Magic (or in some case, people the ritual choose at random, in absence of the required number of magi), called Master, summoned seven Heroic Spirits, people able to left an everlasting impression into the memory of Mankind, into seven Servant classes.

The seven pairs of Servants and Masters fought each other, and the last pair of survivors will have claimed the right to ask the Holy Grail, an immensely powerful magical artifact, to grant a single wish.

Every time the Grail Wars have been fought, something has happened to transform the event into a failure.

The worst tragedy was the one at the end of the previous War, when one of the Masters, Kiritsugu Emiya, choose to force his own Servant Saber to destroy the Grail itself with her strongest ability.

As a result, a great deal of that part of the city was ravaged by a terrible fire, with hundreds of lives lost.

Ten years later, because of that impromptu ‘interruption’ of the ritual, the Fifth Holy Grail War has started.

Again, seven Servants have been summoned.

Again, seven Masters have been selected.

This time… as they say, if the first time is a tragedy, the second is a farce.

As a results of a series of ‘mishaps’, all the women involved in the mess; in this case female Servants, Masters and a pair of ‘bystanders’, have been knocked up by their male counterparts.

Both the Overseer appointed by the Holy Church and the Vessel of the Grail have been forced, as Rule 42 paragraph 74 of the Holy Grail Guidelines, to declare that iteration of the Grail Wars null and void, and asked both Masters and Servants to suspend the hostilities.

Some with a certain degree of happiness, some with distain, others with pure indifference and one in rage, but in the end all of them have accepted the decree made by the higher authorities.
Decree enforced by that walking mountain called Berserker, but that is only a little… detail.

The happy family in question, composed by the former Servant Caster, her Master and their daughter, was happily walking to the meeting point with the others contestants / new parents, when a suddenly rush of air from an alley, combined by the crying of a child, made them stop instantly.

A quick glance, and the teacher – bar – former assassin (long story, don’t ask) enter the alley.

Only to exit from the place nearly instantly, a blanket with a baby inside in his arms and a transparent figure behind him.

“Dear?”

“They were there.” Replied him, pointing to the alley and the ‘ghost’.

The apparition was of a woman of thirty years, fiery red hairs, and sad eyes.

With a tired smile, she gave a last look to the blanket and the children inside it, and started to speak to the two adults, obliviously unseen and unheard by anyone but the two of them.

“My name is… sorry, was Lily Evans, nee Potter.” The ‘ghost’ was speaking into their minds, bypassing the language barrier. Only the absence of ill intent prevented Caster to exorcise the wraith on the spot for daring to intrude into the mind of her man.

“Or better, my maker’s name was Lily Evans. I am a… registration she has created to explain her son’s situation, sorry.

Yesterday, a dark wizard called Lord Voldemort has attacked my maker’s house and her family.

During his attack, he was able to kill both my maker and her husband, leaving their children orphaned, but not without being killed by a protection placed on the child by my maker.

Some times after that, a man my maker and her friends considered trustworthy has choose to place little Harry there in the cares of my maker’s sister and her family, people who despise magic and everything who they do not consider ‘normal’.

Following my maker’s instruction, I’ve take Harry from that place. I’ve been tasked to choose a family who will be able to care for my maker’s son, protect him and outside that man ability to influence things.”

“And you have chosen us. Why?”

“You have power. You have already a family you care for.

And mostly, you have functioning brains and will not hear the pathetic excuses of that man. As a mother, my maker wanted only to protect her child. Will you fulfill the last wish of a deceased woman, please?”

“… We will do it.” Replied Caster, alias Medea of Colchis, woman, mother and witch.

“Thanks.” And, with a final smile, the construct disappeared, her reason of existence fulfilled.

“… Well, it appears our little daughter and her friends will have a new brother and playmate.” Started to say the man, his and his extended family starting to walk to the park in which they and their ‘associates’

“Welcome to the family, Kuzuki Akitō.”

And so, the story of the child knows as Harry James Potter ended, and the tale of Akitō Kuzuki began.

****

[crystalwatcher]

Lots of grammar errors burning my eyes x.x


but other than that I am hooked. Proceed.

[Epiren]

The prologue starts too similar to the original, so there's not much that interests me (But hey, I've read lots of stories that began boringly/bad and ended up great), but the addition of an imposter? Well, let's see how it goes.

As in, Proceed.

But on to the minor nitpicks, and maybe more to come later. A disclaimer: they are my opinion and I'll admit my grammar skills aren't that good, so most of what I've written is probably won't make sense.

Spoiler:

One-sentence paragraphs. They're fine occasionally, but when the majority of the story is written that way, it gets a little annoying to read.

A black cat rested on a wall, lazily watching the number n. 4 of that road.

Don't think you need that extra n.

The problem of the ellipses have already been explained.

“Nonsense Minerva, she’s Lily sister, I doubt she will do something so repulsing like mistreat someone of her own blood!”

Perhaps it's the exclamation point, but this sentence doesn't seem to be what Dumbledore would say.

Better if author and I (the narrator) does not say our opinion on the British Wizards…

Usually it's better if the author/narrator does not directly break the fourth wall... though that may be your style. However, the verb should be do, not does.

[MWkillkenny84]

Thanks!

[crystalwatcher]

*just notices Kenny's sig*

Holy crap that's awesome.

[MWkillkenny84]

Thanks.
Anyone has noticed the inserted character and the shot outs?
One is a SF series started by a telefilm, the other is a Douglas Adams' book. Togheter, they rule the Grail!

[Kieran]

Not offhand . . .

But this is certainly different (does it follow the "Pregnant Servants" doujin? It seems like it). I suspect that Dumbledore's manipulations are in for one hell of a shock. Caster's liable to be the world's most enthusiastically overprotective mother, and with a ruthless streak a mile wide. I can just see how their confrontation is liable to go . . .


Albus stared. This woman had defeated the power of the Elder Wand, the most powerful wand in the world, with no more than a gesture . . .!

Medea gazed at the stick in her hands critically. "Rather crudely made - what did the creator do, simply hack a branch off a tree and empower it?"

"Madam, you don't realise what you've just done - "

"It matters little, compared to what I will do, should you so much as think of my son again," the former Caster growled. "Your self-styled 'Lord Voldemort' is merely the most feared Dark Lord in a the last millennium, whereas my reputation has endured for three times that. Cross me, and I will teach you that a princess trumps a Lord - and that you have no idea what 'Dark' truly means."

[Lycodrake]

Mama Bear Medea is awesome like that, Kieran. ^^

[Thanos]

I cannot fault the writing. There are no major issues with it. I also like the concept. If I had but one nit that I was allowed to pick, it would be the large bulbous one. Dumbledore. I despise the idea of manipulative Dumbledore. I do not know why it is so popular, but I hate it. Mabye if there more non-manipulative Dumbledore out there... but alas, it is not to be.

Other than that, though I like it! ^_^b keep up the good work!

EDIT: Also, Dumbledore would be quite likely to learn early on that Harry was not with the Dursleys. There is evidence in th HP novels that he keeps in touch with Petunia occasionally.

[Lycodrake]

I cannot fault the writing. There are no major issues with it. I also like the concept. If I had but one nit that I was allowed to pick, it would be the large bulbous one. Dumbledore. I despise the idea of manipulative Dumbledore. I do not know why it is so popular, but I hate it. Mabye if there more non-manipulative Dumbledore out there... but alas, it is not to be.

Other than that, though I like it! ^_^b keep up the good work!

EDIT: Also, Dumbledore would be quite likely to learn early on that Harry was not with the Dursleys. There is evidence in th HP novels that he keeps in touch with Petunia occasionally.

Dumbledore is manipulative, even in canon. It's just that people in fanfiction write it out to the nth degree more often than not.

[Thanos]

I refuse to believe it!

Also, I just now realized that Harry/Akito will have a sister 0.0.

[whosaidthat]

Dumbledore is either manipulative, incompetent or senile, but he is always ruthless

[lhklan]

Dumbledore IS manipulative, but he have good intentions. Unfortunately, as they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
But could you givve us an overall on the pairings? Shirou/Saber, Archer/Rin are the few that I can think of.