Fitness Thread

[Tobias]

Good luck at MEPS Tobias. I hope you enjoy your taste of private snuffy. You'll have to deal with boots like him for a long while. Buying cars he can't afford, marrying strippers, and comes crying to you when the divorce rolls around.

There's no better place to be.

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Uh, make sure you're passing your APFT tho. I dunno how it is in AMEDD but it's gonna be silly.

Only because you said this, when I was talking to the military medical recruiter, he asked me what made me good enough to be a military therapist. So I told him a few horror stories from my life as a therapist to criminally insane, most of which would sound like something out of Arkham

the guy guy stared at me, took his glasses off, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. After a long moment of silence he said something like “all right, son, I’m gonna level with you. You do realize that about 95% percent of your patients are going to be 18-21 year olds who got sad cause their girlfriend left them, right?”

i told him I understood that, I just wanted him to know when the other 1-5% got methed up and returned to base naked and began discharging a firearm, or started having flashbacks and attacking his neighbors ‘cause he thought they were viet cong, I could handle it since I already have patients doing things like that.

[Tobias]

So I hired a trainer to help build some muscle and maybe actually be able to pass this damn thing. I have been going every day after work for the last 8 days.

i feel like I should have just paid someone sixty bucks an hour to kick my ass.

i would hurt less.

[LJ3]

I dunno if you’re supposed to go every day

lazyass here speaking

[Tobias]

According to the guy who may also be satan, it’s fine if you are “working different muscles”

and be running a mile and a half each day as a pre work out is fine because we walk all the time anyway. Or something. Again, Satan.

[LJ3]

hardcore

ganbatte and watch out for hair loss

[Imperial]

Rest days are important so you don't burn out, but he's not entirely off base about cycling through different muscle groups to minimize the strain.

You can murder your legs on a Tuesday and go right back to kill your chest on Wednesday.

[Apple]

Also just be born with good bone structure

sad but true

overhead presses

Lateral raises, be it with dumbbells or cables, and boxing workouts

An old roommate of mine had disproportionately big shoulders and spent pretty much all of his workouts doing cardio, lateral raises, overhead shoulder presses, pushups and bag work.

on shoukders day I already do OHP + military press

what is bag work

what kinds of pushups I already do the normal ones on chest day

[Tobias]

I have reached a point in my life where I don’t just dream about the gorram duck walk, I am now consistently dreaming about it. Every night for at least a week.

[LJ3]

At least Germany should be fun! Um, since I’m assuming you are getting enlisted

[Apple]

Duck walk is actually not bad, assuming you allow yourself to do distance progressions

[Tobias]

I failed it at MEPS the last time. Believe me. I have practiced the shit out of it. I’m pretty good at it now, but for the last like 2 weeks I practice either duck walking or duck walking plus that god awful thing where you stand from having your knees on the floor in a single motion without using your hands.

every time I do that second one I always wonder if this is going to be the time I break every last one of my toes when they have to catch my weight.

[Imperial]

Downloaded MyFitnessPal last week because I was losing weight like it was my job even though the goal was to put on weight

MFP puts me at 3200 (though I occasionally bump up to 3700 if I feel hungry enough) calories a day if I want to gain. I'm going to die of an exploding stomach.

[Five_X]

Eat lots of schnitzel.

[SeiKeo]

Downloaded MyFitnessPal last week because I was losing weight like it was my job even though the goal was to put on weight

MFP puts me at 3700 calories a day if I want to gain. I'm going to die of an exploding stomach.

Either heavy smoothies or a full breakfast will get you most of the way I think

[Imperial]

Eat lots of schnitzel.

I'm vegan.

Either heavy smoothies or a full breakfast will get you most of the way I think

Yeah, in the last week, I've started whipping up big smoothies full of peanut butter, pineapple, banana, spinach, protein powder, oatmeal, chia seeds and flaxseed with a soy milk base. A good 500 to 600 calories right there.

[In-N-Out Double-Double & Animal Fries]

3700 is just going to get you fat (buff too, but still fat) unless you're doing like boot camp or a ton of swimming or some shit lmao.

[Imperial]

I'm 6'4", 181 right now, lifting five times a week (Push/Pull/Legs/rest/Upper Body/Lower Body/rest) and on my feet most of the day at my job.

MyFitnessPal tells me I should be eating around 3200 a day, and I bump it up to around 36/3700 on those days I've thrown it back and still feel hungry. I was 178 just a few weeks ago, which is the absolute lightest I have ever been in my adult life. I'm looking pretty skeletal.

But who knows? I'm not a personal trainer or a nutrionist. I might get back to you guys next month and declare that I've decided to do something completely different. Only time will tell.

[SeiKeo]

Oh, damn, vegan, protein forcing that much sounds hard. At that point it might be easiest to do 'fat but buff' first and do serious bulk/cut cycles.

[Apple]

MyFitnessPal TDEE estimates are not accurate. It puts me at 2.5k (iirc) but from experience my actual maintenance is like 700kcal lower.

Also, vegan bodybuilding?? Do you hate yourself or something?

[Frostyvale]

Lmao

Duck walks suck.

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My hips hurt. I've been runnin too much.

Every time I stop I limp around like an old man.

Five miles here, three miles there, sometimes with a weighted vest.

Iyarashii.

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I failed it at MEPS the last time. Believe me. I have practiced the shit out of it. I’m pretty good at it now, but for the last like 2 weeks I practice either duck walking or duck walking plus that god awful thing where you stand from having your knees on the floor in a single motion without using your hands.

every time I do that second one I always wonder if this is going to be the time I break every last one of my toes when they have to catch my weight.

Those were kinda fun. Make sure to stretch first.
Try to make it into the ARSOF BH program. The shit there might be more up your alley.