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    Postnuptial Disagreements (Sekirei crossover)

    Hi, everyone. (Where's a waving smiley when you need it?)

    On the advice of a couple members of the forum, I've decided to start posting a crossover that I've been working on at Fanfiction.net. I've heard a lot about Beast's Lair's high standards for Nasuverse fanfiction, and I'm looking forward to your feedback.

    Since it takes a while to convert chapters, I'll be transferring them individually as often as I can spare the time (and whenever I'm not working on the next chapter).

    Also, once I transfer more chapters, how do I link to them in this post?
    --> EDIT: Okay, I have it now. Thanks, Tetsuo and Sylentnight.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Summary: (from FF.net) -- Years after his parents survived Heaven's Feel, the son of Kayneth and Sola-Ui finds himself in a different sort of supernatural tournament. But can he survive superpowered alien females, scheming businessmen, and his own partner's urge to strangle him?


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    CHAPTERS

    Chapter 1 -- This post
    Chapter 2
    Chapter 3
    Chapter 4
    Chapter 5
    Chapter 6
    Chapter 7
    Chapter 8
    Chapter 9
    Chapter 10
    Chapter 11
    Chapter 12
    End of Season (and definitely NOT canon) Omake
    Chapter 13
    Chapter 14
    Chapter 15
    Chapter 16
    Chapter 17
    Chapter 18
    Chapter 19
    Chapter 20
    Chapter 21
    Chapter 22
    Chapter 23
    Chapter 24
    NONCANON Omake #2: What if Meriwether had winged Matsu instead?
    DEFINITELY Noncanon Omake #3: The Hill of Ethnographic Fieldnotes
    Epilogue










    Chapter 1


    When people ask my why I found myself in Tokyo (en route to Fuyuki) at exactly the wrong time, I usually let them off with a quick explanation like "bad luck" and leave it at that.


    Not that I blame them for their curiosity. My family is not known for its love of travel. Even Japan, with its exotic magic and equally exotic bloodlines, only tempted my father and mother into its clutches once. Once was enough. The seven-way ritualistic bloodbath known as Heaven's Feel consumed most of its participants. If my father hadn't been an incredibly talented magus...


    ...Well.


    I stared out the window. Mountainous cottonball clouds rose below us. The sun glared in my eyes, refracted through the drops of ice that stuck to the window's exterior. A stewardess pushed her aluminum trolley down the aisle, stopping at my seat.


    "Sir, can I interest you in-"


    "Tea," I said.


    While I probably could have asked for alcohol, I wasn't sure about the drinking age on the flight. All things considered, I preferred not to go through the annoyance of pulling out an ID only to be second-guessed by hired help in a skirt.


    "I'm sorry, but we don't-"


    I rolled my eyes.


    "Iced tea, then."


    She forced a brainless smile onto her face and put a clear plastic cup on my tray. The can opened with a metallic pop. She poured it - badly.


    "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, sir..."


    Naturally. Not that she'd spilled the tea on just any suit, mind. No, this was a family heirloom: the suit-robe combination that my father had worn as a young man. And...


    I looked down.


    Yes. She'd gotten some iced tea on my shoes as well. I could see a stain on their otherwise-shiny black surface. A stain. On my shoes.


    Oh, sure, I could get most of it out with a simple spell, but that would be difficult in the confines of a plane with so many witnesses. I'd have to wait hours. Multiple hours. In a stained suit.


    "You're not getting a tip."


    "Um...stewardesses don't get tips."


    I glared at her. She shrugged and moved on to the next person. In retrospect, it probably would have helped if I'd known about airline tipping etiquette ahead of time.


    My education as the scion of the El-Melloi line had left a few gaps, apparently.


    Please fasten your seatbelts. We will be descending soon...



    Ultimately, I suppose I'd come to Japan because I was curious. My parents hadn't spoken much about the Heaven's Feel. It had changed them, though. That much I'd gleaned from others. The Kayneth Archibald, First Lord El-Melloi who'd stepped off the plane from Japan had seemed (ever-so-slightly) humbler, somehow. Chastened. He no longer ripped into students with hour-long question-and-answer sessions during his lectures at the Clock Tower. Admittedly, he still showed the same frightening abilities as a magus that he'd always possessed from time to time...But.


    My stomach churned a bit as I felt the plane take a slight dip. Orange-yellow light shined in my eyes as it reflected off the wing. The iced tea (the portion that wasn't on my clothing, anyway) swished to the far end of the cup.


    I did a quick fluid manipulation. My tea stayed in place.


    Strangest of all, my mother and father had shared occasional touches after they'd returned from Japan. Simple enough gestures, you might think; a light brush on the shoulder, a holding of hands. Most people wouldn't have found anything amiss about it. They'd been fiancees, after all.

    Granted. But Sola-Ui Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri had never been a warm person. And neither had my father. The way that they'd clung to each other after their experience begged for explanation.


    "Mellowed" had been the general consensus.


    I don't like one-word answers.


    And so, on my first vacation from the Clock Tower's classes, I found myself bound for Japan. Several notebooks in my bag awaited my research in Fuyuki City. The authorities had covered up most of the traces of Heaven's Feel, but I doubted they'd gotten everything. And the Archibalds are nothing if not thorough antiquarians. I'd find whatever existed.


    The plane touched down half an hour later.




    ************************************************** *********************

    Soon after I landed, I made the questionable decision to take a former roommate's advice and
    headed for the shopping district.


    I arrived at some mall or other a short time later. The mega-corporation known as MBI had made a lot of changes to the place in the last few years.


    Every gadget imaginable lined the windows: electronic maids, walking umbrellas, and even a prototype backscratcher with artificial intelligence (I lost interest when one of them shouted lewd comments as I passed. The backscratcher, not the maid). Businessmen in monochrome black suits rubbed shoulders with blue-haired girls in miniskirts. All jabbered in their irritating language, usually into small plastic-and-glass boxes that I assumed were some cross between a phone and a computer.


    Amid the bustle of the "New" Tokyo, I didn't initially notice the creature ordering ice cream from a vendor. She soon remedied this, however.


    "What do you mean you don't have strawberry-mint-oreo-toffee flavor?"


    I felt a flare of prana, and turned.


    Whatever it was, it had taken the shape of a girl. She was a few inches shorter than I, lithe and teenage-looking except for slightly more mature hips. Her pink hair was drawn up in an elaborate mess of hair clips, a pony tail, and who knows what else. Not that it looked bad necessarily. In fact, it looked somewhat fetching in a barbaric sort of way. Especially when combined with her short-shorts and loose, black gi-top. Complete with a giant red bow, no less...


    ...In any event, the creature's reddish-pink hair should have tipped off at least some of the bystanders to her identity. Whatever it was. The group of black-suited, sunglasses-wearing men around her, at least, seemed to know what was what. Their muscles tensed when she raised her voice.


    And right now, the creature was definitely raising her voice.


    I learned later that this particular conversation had been going on for a while by the time I'd happened across it. I suppose this partially explains her frustration.


    "Look, buddy...it's not hard. You've got strawberry, right?"


    The vendor whose collar she'd grabbed wisely nodded.


    "And you've got mint?"


    Another nod.


    "And I can see toffee and oreos in your toppings drawer. So why don't you just mix 'em all together like a good boy and make me my strawberry-mint-oreo-toffee ice cream?"


    "B-but there's only one topping allowed! And if I mix the mint and the strawberry, I won't know whether to charge you for mint, or strawberry, or-"


    The creature gave a rather disturbing smile.


    "How much would you charge for your cart's wheels?" she said.


    "I'm not sure I ever considered it, but..."


    I like to think that I kept watching this scene purely out of academic curiosity. After all, you don't run into a new type of supernatural creature every day. The alternative - that I watched purely to see a suicidally oblivious commoner get his Darwinian just deserts - seems in poor taste.


    Not that I didn't smirk when the creature ripped off the cart's front wheels and crumpled them into a ball. Which, looking back on it now, was not my brightest decision.


    "And what are you smiling about, gaijin?" the thing growled.


    Saying "nothing" would have been a good move. Running away at full speed would have been better.


    "Nice ball," I said. "I can't help but notice that you still don't have your mint-strawberry-toffee-whatever cone, though."


    I am told on good authority that I can be obnoxious. Not endearingly or charmingly obnoxious, mind you. Just obnoxious. I blame that for what happened next.


    The creature's lips curled up in a snarl. Her gloves - which looked like tiny pink boxing gloves, of all things - squeaked as she curled them. She smacked her right fist against her palm so fast I nearly missed it. The resulting pop sounded like a gunshot.


    I made what was probably my first well-advised decision of the day and reinforced my legs. The creature must have felt something when I did, because she seemed to hesitate for a second. She shook her head as if to clear it.


    And then, she turned to one of her escorts, who flinched.


    "Pay the man for his cart," she said. "I have other business to - ah - uh...Oh."


    The creature's eyes glazed over. She was breathing far more quickly now, and seemed to be having trouble with her chest, since she was clutching it with both hands. Her face had become beet red. A wave of shudders passed through her body.


    I took the opportunity to dash for the nearest escalator. While I didn't know what the increased body heat, shaking, and reddening face presaged, I didn't want to take any chances.


    "H-hey! Wait!"


    Unlikely.


    I took a flying leap down an escalator. The reinforcement held out well - my legs got enough spring to almost reach the bottom. My aim, however, was off. A toddler wearing a green jumpsuit and baseball hat stepped onto my intended landing point. I avoided him, but hit the railing in the process. Consequently, I pinwheeled off the escalator to the accompaniment of his laughter.


    And fell about a floor.


    "YAAAAAAGH-OOOMPH!"


    Cursing fate for my less-than-expert reinforcement skills, I scrambled up and hobbled toward the exit. I heard a loud clap behind me. The creature's boots had landed on the linoleum floor. If I'd been looking, I'm sure I could describe her graceful, swallow-like landing in excruciating detail. As it was, I wheezed and tried to replace the air I'd knocked out of my lungs.


    "Stop!" the creature shouted.


    I considered complying for perhaps a tenth of a second, and then ducked into a lingerie store. Women in designer clothes stared at me curiously as I ran, clutching leather purses to their chests.


    They had a lot more to worry about a few seconds later. A certain pink-haired female plowed through the mannikins at the front of the store, incidentally decapitating a particularly well-endowed statue. I probably imagined the look of grim satisfaction on her face afterwards; I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.


    The exit beckoned. It was only a few dozen yards away. As I vaulted over metal clothing racks, I chanced a look over my shoulder. My pursuer kicked a rack aside. It crashed into the wall, bent inward.


    Almost there. Just a few more steps...


    "Ha!" I said. "Better luck next ti-OOOF!"


    If I'd been a normal human, the high-speed mannikin might have caused rather serious damage when it collided with my legs. As it was, I found myself staring at the ceiling with a few more bruises and ringing in my ears. Above my head, a cardboard Playtex cut-out grinned vapidly downward.


    The view was cut off seconds later when a vision of pink-haired fury blocked it out. The creature took her hands off her hips long enough to gesture at the devastation. She huffed.


    "Just look what you made me do!" she said.


    "Maybe if you...ouch."


    I winced and rubbed my head. Oddly enough, her eyes widened at that. Her hand covered her mouth.


    "Did I...um...you're OK, right?"


    I croaked something vaguely hostile. She bit the knuckle of her glove. Her breaths had quickened again, and her face was red. I started to worry that she might be hyperventilating.


    Her odd inquiry after my welfare notwithstanding, it occurred to me that this creature could easily end my life right now if she wanted. I felt a sudden coldness in my stomach that normally came before one of my father's exams. I'd face death like an El-Melloi, of course. Perhaps I should have been a little more polite...


    The creature leaned in at blinding speed. She was too fast for me to shield my face. I tried, though, and ended up wrapping my arms around her shoulders instead.


    Her lips met mine. More than that, her tongue started excavating my throat. The whole affair was very warm, sloppy, and distracting enough that it almost took my attention away from the pair of luminescent wings that had sprouted from her back.


    Almost.


    "What the-gurkphfphf?"


    Her apparent desire to suck my soul out through my mouth silenced further questions.

    ************************************************** *********************

    The unsolicited dental exam continued until the creature's handlers arrived and gently pulled her off.

    The explanation that followed strained my credulity ever so slightly.


    The creature's name, it seemed, was Benitsubasa. She was a Sekirei - a species of alien under MBI Corp.'s protection. When a Sekirei met a compatible human, she "reacted", a process that included the odd symptoms I'd noticed earlier.


    As for the mating ritual itself, it apparently consisted of orally violating the target (called an "Ashikabi") and then clinging to the poor fellow for the rest of his life.


    Oh, and all 108 Sekirei were involved in a super-secret battle royal for a vague-but-important prize. Their Ashikabi would participate too, naturally.


    "Say again?" I said.


    The creature sighed. She'd calmed down from a few moments ago, although her blush hadn't dimmed. She seemed to be avoiding eye contact for some reason.


    "There are 108 Sekirei, and-"


    "No, I mean about the super-secret battle royal," I said. "And the bit about your Ashikabi participating."


    Still taking care not to meet my eyes, she twiddled her thumbs across the pink gloves.


    "Well, I know it's sudden, but I'm perfectly capable of protecting..."


    I tuned the creature - Benitsubasa - out for a while. A tournament! A cheap knock-off of Heaven's Feel, complete with Masters and their superhuman Servants. I considered the risks and rewards, thus:


    RISKS: If I wasn't discreet, these MBI people might find out about magecraft. I was pretty sure that I could fiddle with a couple memories here and there, but the organization might be a problem collectively. I would have to be careful.


    REWARDS: Whatever vaguely defined prize waited at the end of the tunnel just might be worth it. Even if I only ended up with a single Sekirei at the end, that would give me an entirely new species to bring back to the Clock Tower for research. Who knew how useful these "Sekirei" might be? And if we could make them familiars...


    If I'd been honest with myself, I would have added another "Reward" to the list. This was what my father had done. A secret tournament. Danger. Excitement. And best of all, a chance to prove myself to the only two people who'd never given me their respect on a silver platter, even though they'd given me their names and bloodlines. To prove that I wasn't a let-down to my lineage. That I wasn't a failure.


    ...Not that I was particularly honest with myself at twenty.


    Benitsubasa was staring at me. Probably because she was expecting a response of some sort. Well, if this was going to be a Master and Servant relationship like Heaven's Feel, I'd best start acting the part. I cleared my throat.


    "So what are your talents, again?"


    Her eyes narrowed, and the expectant look collapsed into a frown.


    "Fighting," she said. "I told you that already. Three times."


    I shrugged.


    "I figured I'd just let you drone on for a while and ask again later. Think of it as a rehearsal."


    This very sensible point did not seem to mollify her.


    "I just had to go shopping today, didn't I?" she muttered. "Couldn't have stayed with the rest of the Disciplinary Squad, could I...? We had good benefits, too. Catered meals! A nice, caring, handsome Ashikabi ready to wing us...I mean, sure he was a little sexually confused, but with time-"


    "If you're finished, I'd like to discuss our strategy for the upcoming tournament," I said.


    The creature looked down her nose at me despite the height difference, and sniffed. Her eyes drifted to my chest.


    "Is that a tea stain on your suit?" she said.
    Last edited by Zalgo Jenkins; June 20th, 2012 at 08:24 PM.

  2. #2
    現地の蛸( ・ᯅ・ ) TetsuoS2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zalgo Jenkins View Post
    Also, once I transfer more chapters, how do I link to them in this post?
    Hmm, see that blue arrow in my quote? Get the link, then type a word, then there's an option to link.

    Like this.

    You need to use the, "Go Advanced" option, so you can see the arrow in the preview.

    There might be an easier way though.
    何処に行くの

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by TetsuoS2 View Post
    Hmm, see that blue arrow in my quote? Get the link, then type a word, then there's an option to link.

    Like this.

    You need to use the, "Go Advanced" option, so you can see the arrow in the preview.

    There might be an easier way though.
    Thanks. I'll use that as I start posting the other chapters.

  4. #4
    JESUS WANTS A HUG! The Sylentnight's Avatar
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    FUCK YEAH! IT'S HERE!
    Quote Originally Posted by Zalgo Jenkins View Post
    Also, once I transfer more chapters, how do I link to them in this post?
    Attachment 5816
    If you click on the post number, it will give you the URL link that links directly to that post. like in the picture here.

    And if you want to add them in your first post here, just edit the chapter, put in the chapter number and have it link straight to the post.

    EDIT: Sniped.
    Quote Originally Posted by Riven View Post
    You can't see the future. You can just pray that the decisions you make are the right ones. That's what it means to be a commander.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodyle
    It's natural for Rin to surround herself with beautiful women, and natural for Shirou to be everyone's bitch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Neil Watts
    God, why is it so hard to be a smart ass these days?

  5. #5
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    What is this? Postnups is finally arrived'eth at The Lair? Why, this is cause for celebration.

    I really like this one. It surprisingly clicked with me. The way that Meriwether's POV is so intentionally pretentious, the first-person snark, and the typical magus-ness of his attitude is refreshing for a protagonist. After all, when everything is unique (because in order to be a T-M Protag it seems to be a prerequisite to take a rule and be able to break it) nothing is.

    I've almost caught up to this all the way through as well, so more better. Keep up with the fun work, ZalgoJ.
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  6. #6
    Licensed Fatman ZidanReign's Avatar
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    One word.

    Meh.

    And with all that's said and done, this troll shall take his leave.

    *Hazama Leaves.

  7. #7
    Be my friend? kuniKaiRoe's Avatar
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    And now we get to watch as the Sekerei Plan is slowly and steadily made worse, to the point that Wrath of the Counter GuardiansTM is a viable ending.
    <-has been reading on FF.net
    You know, I'm slightly curious. From what I can glean, this AU results from Kiritsugu allowing Kayneth and Sola Ui to leave Heavens Feel IV with their lives, and Kiri doing something that leaves his circuits intact and allows him to remain in the good graces of the Einzberns. A side-effect may include the tragic loss of some boy named Shirou, but who knows?
    What is it that Kiritsugu did in the case of the latter?
    Miscellany~
    Anyone who mentions THAT Majora's Mask meme gets to meet the Ladder. <- Is serious
    Reality Marble: Ascended Memorized Phantasm - Perfect Manikin Army
    I have been uncursed! My groin still hurts.
    I have a folder full of stolen avatars and sig pics. Short of mind-probing, no one's going to find it.
    I look away for a sec, and I'm suddenly attending a college called MGS.

    A living portrait, a forgotten portrait... and Yoshi.

  8. #8
    When in doubt, nuke it 'til it glows xelloss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuniKaiRoe View Post
    And now we get to watch as the Sekerei Plan is slowly and steadily made worse, to the point that Wrath of the Counter GuardiansTM is a viable ending.
    <-has been reading on FF.net
    You know, I'm slightly curious. From what I can glean, this AU results from Kiritsugu allowing Kayneth and Sola Ui to leave Heavens Feel IV with their lives, and Kiri doing something that leaves his circuits intact and allows him to remain in the good graces of the Einzberns. A side-effect may include the tragic loss of some boy named Shirou, but who knows?
    What is it that Kiritsugu did in the case of the latter?
    My personal theory is that during the first fight at the beginning of the war, Rider intervened early and Saber never received her unhealable wound. This results in Kiritsugu not specifically going after Kayneth, and Kayneth has no advantage he feels like he has to press, so he doesn't attack Einzbern mansion.

    Things get harder to predict from there, but without open hostilities between Masters during a slightly different Saber/Lancer teamup, an alliance eventually gets made.

    After that I have no clue. I also have no clue whether this is in any way correct.

    Quote Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
    “Correct! It is never appropriate to sell your daughter, you insufferable jackass.” Kariya said.

  9. #9
    現地の蛸( ・ᯅ・ ) TetsuoS2's Avatar
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    Now that I think about it, Zalgo. Will the Fourth War ever be explained in full? I think you'll need to do that.
    何処に行くの

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by TetsuoS2 View Post
    Now that I think about it, Zalgo. Will the Fourth War ever be explained in full? I think you'll need to do that.
    I'll do what I can, although some of it might interrupt the narrative (or spoil a surprise or two). There are actually a few routes that could have allowed Lord El-Melloi and Kiritsugu to both survive. Some of it has been mentioned. I'll try to work more in whenever I'm able.

    I think this summarizes what's been revealed to date:

    * Lancer died before the conclusion.

    * The corruption in Irisviel and the Grail became obvious sometime before the end.

    * As Fuyuki's resident Euryphis academic, Kayneth played a role in dismantling the System. Somewhat like Waver did in canon.

    * Ilya survived, and was raised by Kiritsugu. (Sadly, I couldn't quite bring myself to insert an adult MagusKiller!Ilya into Postnuptial Disagreements, awesome though it would be.)

    * Presumably, Kayneth's testimony about the System's errors was a lot more convincing than Kiritsugu's would have been.

    * At some point in the War, Sola-Ui got rather badly injured.
    Last edited by Zalgo Jenkins; June 2nd, 2012 at 10:51 PM.

  11. #11
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Inb4 Kotomine Shirou pops up with Caren.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  12. #12
    You do the OC's personality quite well. He is quite the Magus, although he would have been better served by not being quite as backstab heavy as he was.
    Last edited by elric; June 2nd, 2012 at 11:24 PM.

  13. #13
    Ahahahahahahaha! Hymn of Ragnarok's Avatar
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    I agree with everything my mate IRUN said, and would like to add that if this was even partially inspired by In Flight, then this story is the best thing to ever come out of Gabriel Blessing's forays into FSN and Sekirei.

    I give the man props where it's due, but this....this OC, the divergences, the right amount of ass kicking, snark, and relationships, the total lack of harem antics....it's wonderful.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok
    I refuse to believe that any eroge scene with Taiga would not make allusions to her Christmas Cake status, and this being Nasu, include references to making a cake. Stirring the batter, whisking the eggs, swirl the mixture around....
    Quote Originally Posted by RadiantBeam
    ....

    IS THIS REVENGE, HYMN? REVENGE FOR ALL THE ABUSE I PUT YOU THROUGH?
    That's all, folks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Guy, Vlad_the_II (3 times), Radiantbeam (5 times), YeOfLittleFaith, Ars Poetica, The Curious Fan, Raven2785, zhead
    Damn you Hymn.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spinach, KAIZA (2 times), Old_Iron, YeOfLittleFaith (2 times), Trevelyan, ianmuff, ZidanReign, Sage of Eyes, legoguydude, KooriRenchuu, Break, Keyne
    Bless you Hymn.

  14. #14
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    Also, the fact that it has unabashed tongue-in-cheek moments with regards to both Japanese culture, Type-MOON, and Sekirei alike makes it a fun read.

    Especially the line where
    spoiler'd for you fellows who haven't been following Postnups until now

    Meri snaps at some bloke because he almost swore to the Root. That reference to the facepalm-worthiness of the "r-word" was so meta and in-jokey it had me in stitches.
    Last edited by ItsaRandomUsername; June 3rd, 2012 at 03:51 AM.
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  15. #15
    on again / off again Techlet's Avatar
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    This was fun. At first, I was somewhat wary of your OC, but I fell for him by the end of the first chapter. Well done.

  16. #16
    Never quacked for this Kyte's Avatar
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    Well, I think IRUN said everything I wanted to say.

    Except for one thing: You average 0.7 chapters per day. That's fucking amazing.

  17. #17
    Licensed Fatman ZidanReign's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyte View Post
    Except for one thing: You average 0.7 chapters per day. That's fucking amazing.
    I agree with Kyte.

    How the fuck do you do it? Pardon my French.

  18. #18
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazama View Post
    I agree with Kyte.

    How the fuck do you do it? Pardon my French.
    ...I thought you had taken your leave. This demands investigation!

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Hazama View Post
    I agree with Kyte.

    How the fuck do you do it? Pardon my French.
    I think it's a lot easier to write quickly when the story acquires its own logic. Set up problems for the character to solve (preferably arising from the opponents being competent), and then see how the character solves them. And all of the choices should have consequences, and a chance of going wrong.

    When a driven, goal-oriented main character interacts with a world that doesn't always cooperate, everything seems to flow more easily.

    That's what I've noticed, anyway.

  20. #20
    Chapter 3

    I sat on the floor of the house's tower, surrounded by windows. I could hear water run through the pipes, and blood flowing in my ears. Otherwise, nothing. Motes of dust caught the evening sun. Each fluttered for awhile, and then alighted on the ground.

    A perfect chamber to enter my familiars' consciousness without interruption. The door was locked, naturally.

    I'd spoken on Benitsubasa's phone with the game master: a white-suited, white-haired man in a cape named Minaka. The conversation had not filled me with confidence. One statement, in particular, had stuck with me. For some perverse reason or other, I imagined it as a poorly organized group of non-rhyming stanzas:


    They will fight, and fight, and fight until one is left.


    And then, when everything is finished,

    Sekirei and Ashikabi will ascend together, to decide the fate of the world.


    But what was ascension?

    In any event, the combined contributions of my bird familiars, alchemical water analysis, and the city directory had given me a good picture of my enemies. I'd initially worried about seven or more major opponents, like the free-for-all in Heaven's Feel. Instead, most of the Sekirei had congregated at four poles:

    (1) Minato Sahashi. About my age. He lived in the northern part of the city, in an inn owned by a purple-haired landlady whose prana supply felt more like a Heroic Spirit's than a regular human's. My familiar had counted at least two Sekirei before a cold aura had engulfed it. I'd withdrawn my consciousness just before its heart stopped.

    (2) Hayato Mikogami. Fifteen years old, an industrialist's son. He had at least six Sekirei in his miniature villa in the city's southern quarter.

    (3) Izumi Higa, or Higa Izumi, or however that Japanese name-reversal thing works. A businessman. He'd surrounded himself with at least eleven Sekirei. From his compound, he controlled most of the city's eastern portion.

    (4) Nishi Sanada. A thug with a taste for motorcycles, baseball bats, and dressing his Sekirei in perverted outfits. He owned at least three Sekirei, which helped him indulge in the latter hobby. He'd set up shop in the western district. Unfortunately for him, so had I.

    A large, red pin marked each of the locations on my map.

    A host of smaller pins marked the minor Ashikabi I'd already located: Takano Kouji, Himura Youichi, Junichi Tanigawa, and a few others.

    And now for a little experiment.


    ************************************************** *********************



    Junichi Tanigawa lived in an apartment near the border of northern Shin Tokyo.

    Nothing distinguished his apartment from its neighbors except its position in the grid. It had the same concrete shelf as a patio, and the same gray railing around that patio. An identical white boxy air conditioner kept it cool.

    Once you got past the real estate, though, Junichi Tanaka was a bit more unusual. He favored a turquoise windbreaker, carried a knife, and seemed to enjoy belting his Sekirei in the face.

    All things considered, he should have counted his blessings: this wasn't the real Heaven's Feel. While Lancer, my father's servant, just might have been self-effacing enough to refrain from gutting Tanigawa, I doubted that Archer or Rider would have shared his restraint.

    ...And Caster...

    I suppressed a shudder.

    In any event, it seemed that Tanigawa was a bit of a loner. He worked as a handyman of sorts, but must have had the gift of gab, since he fenced televisions on the side. Whenever he wasn't working - which was often - he tended to drink, watch television, indulge in meretricious relations with his Sekirei, or some combination thereof.

    I concluded from his knife that he had a paranoid streak. His lifestyle, however, suggested that he wasn't in good condition.

    This setup might not have seemed promising at first. I couldn't just walk into his apartment without triggering retaliation from his Sekirei, who carried a seven foot tall mallet. Also, he had a burglar alarm. So that was out.

    ...But he walked to his job. In the evenings, he returned home across a quiet park.

    I doubted that this arrangement would last long. Sooner or later, he would realize that his Sekirei's MBI credit card meant that he didn't have to work at all (except for fencing televisions, which he appeared to enjoy). I needed to act quickly.

    And thus, I found myself sitting in the middle of an invisibility spell, in the middle of a courtyard, in the middle of a deserted park. Cicadas whined. Telephone poles cast shadows over the orange pavement.

    They crisscrossed the gray lines of tiles that divided the pavement into squares.

    Stone steps lead down into the courtyard, and on either side of those steps were patches of grass that sloped downward. Their blades swayed with the wind.

    Clip.


    Clop.


    Clip.


    I looked up from my Almagest. A slender shadow zigzagged down the steps. I followed its contours upward until I saw my target. Alone.

    You're mine.


    I spread my invisibility spell until it covered him. He blinked. His eyes bugged out, and his body tensed. I suppose it must have seemed as if I'd appeared out of nowhere.

    "What the-?"

    "Good evening, Mr. Junichi," I said. "My...friends have been following you for a while. Bats at night. Birds in daylight. Flies during your office hours - you squashed one once. I might repay you for that if you're not careful."

    The knife came out. And then, he furrowed his brows.

    "Uh...it's Tanigawa," he said.

    "Pardon?"

    "You said 'Mr. Junichi'. That's my first name, jackass."

    I jabbed my forefinger at him.

    "Don't get testy with me, Junichi...er...Tamag-whatever your name is. It's not my fault your people confuse the proper positions for a first and last-"

    "Are you gonna explain why you're here, or am I gonna have to stab you?"

    I ran through my intimidation speech again - which had sounded much better in my head, incidentally - and decided it would be best to start over.

    "Well, as I mentioned before, I've been following you for a while, Mr..."

    "Tanigawa."

    "Right. And I couldn't help but notice that you and I have a similar problem."

    He snorted.

    "Oh yeah? And what's that?"

    I permitted myself a smirk.

    "Sanada Nishi," I said.

    A perplexed expression crossed his face.

    "Er...wait," I said. "I meant, 'Nishi Sanada'. Or...hang on...does that sound more last-name-ish? Or perhaps - Oh, screw it."

    I cast a suggestion spell on him and resolved to figure the rest out later.



    ************************************************** ***************



    That evening, I found myself crouching in the bushes outside another building. It wasn't a bad night for a stroll, actually; the air was fresh and rather invigorating. At least, that's what I'd told Benitsubasa before I headed out. With luck, she'd was already asleep.

    It had taken me a while to craft the invisibility illusion in which I now sat. Almost an hour, in fact. I hoped that it would be worth it.

    Nishi Sanada, the so-called Ashikabi of the West, did not leave his home unaccompanied unless he could help it. This complicated my plans.

    Mr. Tanigawa would re-simplify them for me.

    Commands given through mental interference spells do not enslave their victims completely. Strong-willed or not, most people will not obey commands that violate their basic natures. You must nudge rather than push.

    It hadn't taken much nudging to send Tanigawa on an attack mission.

    My reinforced eyes could still make out Tanigawa's turquoise windbreaker in the dark. More importantly, I heard the gravel grind as his Sekirei dragged her cartoonishly large hammer.

    Yashima, I think he'd called her.

    She walked hunched over, eyes on the ground. Her skimpy white-and-blue sailor dress (it looked vaguely nautical, at any rate) didn't blend with the darkness very well, although her black stockings and opera gloves hid her appendages somewhat better. She flinched whenever Tanigawa looked at her. Which wasn't often.

    Sanada had been wise enough to live on the building's ground floor. My new pet idiot rang the doorbell.

    Waited ten seconds.

    Rang again.

    "Uh...coming," said a female voice.

    They'd be ready for him. They must have sensed his approach, and the decision to stand there and ring the doorbell had probably clinched it. I chuckled softly.

    The door opened. It revealed three Sekirei and a guy with a baseball bat, open leather jacket, and no shirt underneath. He hardly had any body fat. I assume this is why he chose to parade his bare chest and stomach at his visitors.

    A neon green halo flared around Yashima's hammer. Tanigawa's knife flicked out. The man at the door gave a lopsided smile.

    "Yo."

    Yashima swung her hammer. The entryway exploded. Wood splinters and concrete chips flew everywhere. A dark-skinned, blonde Sekirei with stars painted on her bra (Yes, I am serious) pushed Sanada out of the way. This was fortunate. A moment later, the hammer blasted his previous location into powder.

    The two more mature-looking Sekirei in Sanada's harem flurried punches, kicks, and elbows. Yashima retreated. They followed. Even the youngest - a short-haired little sprite with rosy cheeks and an annoying voice - drifted into the maelstrom. Further and further away from their Ashikabi.

    I darted from the bushes on reinforced legs. Sanada's eyes were still on the battle.

    "Hey, you three! Whaddya think you're doing, pushing me away from the figh-Umph!"

    My shoulder caught him just beneath the armpit. He tumbled backward in a heap.

    "A point of etiquette, Mr. Sanada," I said. "Battles between Servants are best left to Servants..."

    I grinned.

    "...and Masters fight Masters."

    Sanada's jaw tensed. He lunged back up and swung his bat. I blocked it on my forearm. His eyes widened when he heard a loud ping instead of the sound of breaking bone.

    When you don't know much about hand-to-hand combat (and I don't), cheating helps.

    I swatted the bat from his hands and kicked Sanada in the chest. He crashed into the exterior wall. I doubted he'd be getting up as quickly this time. I stole a glance at the battle. Still going. Yashima had taken to her delaying role rather well.

    I took a handful of Sanada's jacket and yanked him up. I heard a click. Odd...

    "What was-" I began.

    I looked down and realized that if I hadn't been wearing my father's old suit/robe, Sanada would have already jammed a switchblade into my guts.

    "Now that was a poor choice."

    I grabbed his hand and squeezed until I heard a pop or two. He dropped the knife. Didn't cry out, though. I pulled us both behind some cover after I took a quick look at the battle.

    Yashima was...yes, still fighting.

    I slammed Sanada against the wall and looked him in the eyes.

    "And now, Mr. Sanada, I have a proposition for you..."



    ************************************************** *******************




    Tampering with Sanada's mind didn't take very long. Admittedly, I might have managed the trick just by showing up at his house and striking up a "conversation", but I hadn't wanted to take the chance that Sekirei could detect prana activity.

    Perhaps I also have a taste for the theatrical.

    Speaking of street theatre, Sanada's Sekirei had finally backed Yashima into a corner. She swung her hammer more slowly now. My eyes could almost follow what had previously been green blurs.

    Sanada's two older-looking Sekirei (both fighter types, by the looks of them) darted in and out. Their attacks alternated with Yashima's. Dash - dodge - dash.

    Every time the hammer missed, Yashima received another bruise. Tanigawa screamed obscenities from the sidelines. He'd lost his knife earlier. One of Sanada's Sekirei had kicked it from his hand. That hand now hung limp.

    Yashima took a kick to her knee. I heard a crack and a whimper. In an instant, punches to the neck and temple streamed in and crumpled her. Her attacker bent down and touched a black symbol on the back of Yashima's neck. The spot began glowing.

    "Consider it a gift, sister. I free you now from your misery."

    Yashima went completely limp.

    And then, Tanigawa graciously decided to contribute by omission to humanity's gene pool. He growled, switched his knife to his left hand, and lunged at the perpetrator.

    "You little-!"

    Whatever pearl of wisdom Tanigawa had been husbanding for that moment, he never brought it to the light of day. His target sent him flying with a flick of her wrist.


    ************************************************** ************


    By this time, of course, I had already retreated to the safety of my invisibility illusion. Sanada would wake up in a little while without so much as a sprained wrist. My healing spells had been thorough. He would doubtless conclude that he'd passed out from the excitement. Or whatever idiots conclude when they find themselves lying in the grass after a battle. I didn't particularly care.

    The mental interference command would hold. My tracks had been covered.

    Those were the important parts.

    "Okay, that's IT! I want to know what's going on RIGHT NOW!"

    Could I avoid turning around? Pretend the voice was a figment of my imagination? Ignore it and hope that it would go away?

    Ultimately, I sighed and faced the inevitable.

    There was Benitsubasa, standing in fluffy slippers and a pink bathrobe. She had neglected to tie it closed adequately. Her white undergarments were clearly visible. The display struck me as indecent, but I had a larger issue to worry about.

    She must have followed my trail and hidden nearby while I set up the invisibility spell. But why would she follow...?

    "Oh...er, hello there, Benitsubasa. Fine night, isn't it?"

    Without another word, she handed me a piece of parchment. I looked at the writing and realized that she'd rummaged through my files behind my back.

    She must have broken into my room when I left. As if the locked door hadn't been enough of a message.

    Of all the obnoxious-

    She tapped the parchment. It was one of Father's older letters.


    ************************************************** *******************

    To His Son Meriwether, Residing In The Clock Tower, Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi, First Lord El-Melloi, Sends Greetings With Paternal Zeal:


    It is written 'ex nihilo nihil fit', not to mention 'laborare est orare'.

    I have recently discovered - not from your professor at the Clock Tower, although he ought not to hide such things from me, but from a certain reliable source - that you have been living dissolutely and slothfully.

    You only study twelve hours per day. Your grades loiter disgracefully in second place, hovering near third. At least one other student excels you in fluid manipulation spells. Your invisibility spells, while passably excellent, lack the attention to detail, durability, and portability of those created by your fellow students merely three or four years your senior.

    Doubtless you play a lute in your spare time, or something equally impertinent.

    I am naturally ashamed of you. Your mother daily bemoans the questionable parenting decisions that have produced a wastrel. Wherefore I have decided to exhort you herewith to repent utterly of your dissolute and careless ways, that you may no longer be a weed growing from the root of the El-Melloi line, and your shame may be turned to good repute.


    - Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi, First Lord El-Melloi, KG, D.D., Ph.D., L.L.M (Tax), Senior Euryphis Lecturer and Head of the Spiritual Evocation Division, Clock Tower, London; Special Consultant to the Hellsing Organization (ret.); Fellow of the Royal Society




    ************************************************** ********************



    (For the record, I do not play the lute).

    "Er...What's your point?" I tried.

    Benitsubasa's eye twitched.

    "Just how stupid do you think I am?"

    Rather than answer her question honestly, I tried another tack.

    "It's all...metaphorical. My university's just - er - old-fashioned," I said.

    Her eye twitch had become even more pronounced.

    "I saw you block a baseball bat with your arm," she said.

    "Um...metal joint replacement?"

    "You kicked that guy ten feet into a wall."

    "Weightlifting."

    "Oh yeah? Then what's a bench press?"

    I rubbed my chin and tried to remember the two physical education classes I hadn't skipped to study alchemy.

    "It's...um...er...all very technical..."

    Benitsubasa ran her fingers through her hair as if she was going to rip it out by the roots. She made a great show of sighing, and then spread her arms, gesturing around us.

    "WE'RE STANDING IN AN INVISIBILITY FIELD!" she shrieked.

    "...Well, I admit it does seem a tad suspicious at first blush-"

    "…THAT YOU MADE!"

    I debated at this point whether I should protest that invisibility fields didn't exist. Ultimately, I doubted that this would accomplish its intended purpose. I hammered my brains for something else.

    "Er...it's a funny story, actually-"

    "Stop."

    Her reply had been so quiet that I barely heard her.

    "Excuse me?"

    "You lock yourself in your room for days on end," she said. "You spend more time in graveyards than at home. You only talk to me about tactics. And even then, you don't talk much."

    "Well isn't that-"

    She glared at me. For some reason, I decided to stop talking.

    "...And did I ask questions?" she said. "Nope. Not my place. You're my Ashikabi. Okay, so you hang out in morgues and freeze petshop birds in ice chests. No biggie. A little unhealthy, maybe, but I can live with that..."

    Her voice had trailed off to a whisper, and she seemed to be inspecting her feet very carefully. She fiddled with her fingers. It was all very unprofessional.

    "...Which was fine at first," she said. "I mean, I was looking forward to the Sekirei Plan. I figured you were being nice when you kept asking about tactical stuff. Y'know, going along with me and all. I knew you weren't...well, like Natsuo. I thought maybe you'd warm up. But - but it's been weeks, you barely look at me, and..."

    A pause followed. She looked up and took a deep breath.

    "...and now I'm asking questions," she finished.

    For a while, we stared at each other. Benitsubasa just stood there in her slippers, with her hands on her hips, shivering in the night air. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. I wondered if a bit of dust had gotten into them, or a gnat, or something of that sort. The gesture made me uncomfortable, somehow.

    I cleared my throat.

    "It occurs to me that I need to clean Sanada's bloodstains off my coat," I said.

    Her face fell. She gripped the side of her bathrobe and closed her eyes.

    "And...er...you look cold," I said. "So you might as well wear it. The coat, I mean. Normally I wouldn't bother, but it's stained anyway, and I need you alert if you're going to listen to my...er...explanation."

    Benitsubasa blinked. Slowly, her neck craned upward to look at me again. When I offered her the coat, she put it on gingerly, as if she thought it was going to bite her. The sleeves reached several inches past her fingertips. The robe portion trailed on the ground.

    "You-you're going to explain?" she said.

    I clasped my hands behind my back and coughed, preparing my best lecturing voice.

    "First, the preliminaries," I said. "If you ever breathe a word of this to anyone, a group of people who kill vampires for fun are going to hunt you down."

    "You're joking," she said.

    "Do you want my explanation or not?"

    She rolled her eyes.

    "Seriously?" she said. "Vampires? That's the best you can come up with? And you expect me to..."

    I stared at her.

    "...O-kay...you're not joking. Wow. I've just veered into moonbat territory, haven't I?"

    And with that cheery prelude, we began our journey home.
    Last edited by Zalgo Jenkins; June 3rd, 2012 at 10:40 PM.

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