I need to stop letting people dare me into silly pairings….
Cherry Blossom Knight
PART ONE OF TWO!!!!
The Fifth Holy Grail War had begun not long ago.
Seven servants…seven masters. One for Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Caster, Berserker and Assassin….
I’m walking to Senpai’s house now. The sun hasn’t even set in the afternoon. It’s really quite pretty, seeing the sun up at this time and feeling its warm rays through the cool air. Truly a rare pleasure.
I’ve been doing this--walking to his house every morning and afternoon--since Senpai’s injury a year and a half ago. I used to just help him take care of himself, helping to cook breakfast and dinner. Now it’s just….just a tradition? I think that’s a fitting name. I’ve gotten so much better a year later than I did when we first started now it’s almost a competition to see who can make the best food for dinner. To date, I’m as good at making Western food than Senpai is (but I only think that’s because he’s the one who taught me…).
More than halfway to Senpai’s house, I grew tense. My hand clutched the mid section of my uniform as if trying to keep in my heart. Seven Servants and seven Masters…
I am one such Master. The Master of the Rider class, to be exact. Today I am technically walking into the lair of another Master. That is, Senpai. My grasp became tighter. He would never do anything to hurt me and…I would never do so to him, either. Never.
But sometimes I…actually question that. And there’s never any real precedence for it. Since the start of the Grail War, I’ve actually walked in thinking that Senpai has set some sort of trap for me…His enemy. The hand that grasped my chest was the same as the one with my command seals, the proof I was a Master. Two of the three remained. I wish I could just be free of any such thoughts.
The cold hardly mattered as I was within sight of Senpai’s house. I felt lighter. My steps began having more of a visible spring to them. After all, I would be seeing the people I like the most!
Saber-san ate the meal I had prepared with great enthusiasm. It made the preparation worth it.
I prepared a rather…altered recipe for the miso soup I usually make. The contents of which I went to a rather extensive length to hide from Senpai and the others. ESPECIALLY Senpai. Saber-san always had a pleasant look on her face every time she looked at me. Even with a mouthful of food, her face always smiled a little bit. Usually with bits of rice along her lips.
She didn’t talk much--as befitting a proper Servant of the Saber-class--but she seemed to attract a lot of attention from Senpai. He just went on and on about what we usually cook, our current standings with each other and all other sorts of general things. The smile across his face as he talked was the one I had known for a very long time. Except now it wasn’t directed at me.
Fuji-sensei was going to leave early tonight, said that she was going to try to get some extra sleep in preparation for the extra hours she was going to put into the archery club. I was originally planning on going with her as well…
“Hey, Sakura!” Senpai grabbed my sleeve just as I had gotten up to leave. Fuji-sensei raised her brow in confusion. She was going to walk me home tonight.
“I know this is sudden, but…” he said, finding all the words. “Tohsaka asked me to keep you here until she gets here.”
Nee-san….would actually like to see me?
I didn’t like the sound of it.
“Oh…did she?…” I said, wearing a neutral face as not to upset Senpai. As my surprise faded, my anger began to build very slowly. Nee-san was far from anyone I would like to see at the moment. Or ever. Saber-san seemed curious but otherwise said nothing. Senpai however was none the wiser.
Senpai’s grip loosened. “I know it’s kind of sudden, but just do it for me, alright? She told me that she just wants to talk to you.”
That’s exactly what I don’t want. If Nee-san wants to talk to me then it won’t end well. Even if Senpai insists I just can’t do it. I won’t!
But he…Senpai’s face still had that smile of his on it. He was even staring straight in my eyes. The ones that said ‘I want you to trust me.’
“I don’t think so…I really need to go home early as well…” I said.
“Oh come on, talking never hurt anyone. You don’t really know her that well anyway so maybe you might like her a bit if you did,” he said. If only Senpai knew….
Without a word I sat back down at my original place at the table. Truly, I was pathetic as not to answer immediately to the people I was most comfortable with. Even Saber-san would probably not object to anything I might’ve said regardless of what it was. Fuji-nee began talking with Senpai as I excused myself to use the bathroom.
Nee-san would be the one to walk me home tonight. Then again, would she even bother?…
I lied before. I told them I was just going to use the bathroom but I never intended to go there. I know this house top to bottom as it was almost a surrogate home for me away from my real home. I went towards the bathroom and ducked away when no one paid me any attention. One of the hallways had a side door that one could open into the rather expansive yard of Senpai’s estate. The winter cold gently blew in, giving the mostly-finished moon the look of a perfectly spherical snowflake in the sky. I just wanted a place to sit down. If anyone comes by too soon, I’ll just say that I didn’t feel like going to the bathroom anymore. As weird as it sounds, I know it will convince them. I sat, staring up at the near-perfect moon in the sky. It was like a dream. Everything looked beautiful. Nothing was out of the ordinary.
Senpai….
Fuji-sensei….
And Nee-san….
They can be right in front of my eyes and it will always feel like a dream. Physical does not necessarily mean real; they can talk to me but never truly understand how I feel. If it ever came down to it, they would leave me. I clutched my knees as tightly as I could and closed my eyes. I was alone now. I have no idea how long I stayed like this. Not sitting down in Senpai’s house, feeling the cold wind lightly buffet my uniform. Not the Sakura who made dinner today.
How long have I…been…like this?….
The mere idea of trying to find a number for the years was something I never wanted to consult. At the same time, I always want to. And I always get an answer. The same, very correct answer. And that is “more than half my life I have been like this”. I don’t deserve this--this body, this life, these friends or even my own name. ”Sakura.” It belongs to someone who’s pretty and has a quiet, normal life amongst the cherry blossoms, and her world is free of all of the pain and sorrows of the world and she‘ll live happily ever after. A second time, my hand clutched my chest, almost clawing at the fabric of my uniform.
“Sakura.”
I was struck back into reality by the blow of these words. How long had I been sitting here? It felt like ages but obviously that’s not right. My fingers felt numb. “Around an hour” is probably right. Senpai must’ve taken his time convincing Fuji-sensei to leave without me.
“Sen--” I turned to look at Senpai only to not see him. Who stood before me was a young girl around my age standing at the beginning of the hallway, a Western-looking girl with her blonde hair wrapped in a strange bun. Her eyes stared daggers at me but not out of hate. Mainly just concern and surprise, with a vague hint of caution.
Even Saber-san wouldn’t understand.
I met her with a faint smile. “Saber-san…”
“Are you not well, Sakura? Have you been sitting there this entire time?” she said, a neutral, soft tone that betrayed her expression. Not that it wasn’t full of the usual life that would normally come with being a young girl but it just seemed she was…incredibly reserved. As befitting a Servant. I wonder what Heroic Spirit she is…
“Eh?…” To be honest, the cold wind didn’t bother me in the least even though it would soon leave me chilled to the bone. I stood up and missed catching onto one of the sliding doors at first, nearly doubling over again onto the floor. I had underestimated the weather--I had just realized now that my entire body felt more like a statue than a person’s ordinary body. At this rate, I would be catching colds like they were fireflies in the evening.
I must look like a total fool.
But I smile anyway. Saber-san’s face lightens up very similar to mine and whatever caution she held onto now was quietly dismissed.
The Servant approached me. “It is relieving to see that you are well enough to smile, Sakura,” she said, “but perhaps you should rest before you speak with Rin?”
Nee-san’s name came up. Even though we are sisters by birth, we were separated later on in life. We’ve spent years apart from each other and even formal contact has never happened between us. My left hand, formerly numb, gripped itself. All these years…all these years and she decides NOW that she wants to talk to me!?
Outwardly, I shook my head and insisted to Saber-san that I would be fine just sitting down somewhere else, to which she responded by regaining her entirely stoic personage. “That will not do, Sakura.”
I stared back into her emerald eyes.
“I can tell from here that your entire body must be numbed from the cold. While you may feel fine now, sooner or later it is likely you will develop a cold or perhaps worse. Might I suggest eating a helping of that soup you had prepared earlier?”
The miso? That’s right…some of it I’d put in the fridge but…Saber-san left the room before I did that…
I nodded. “If you say so, Saber-san. I will be alright so please do not worry about me,” I said, sealing it with a smile that would make even Senpai melt like butter.
Incidentally, I have no idea what is taking Nee-san so long.
Senpai has likewise gone missing. It had taken me a while to notice as I was eating an extra helping of the (reheated) miso soup at Saber-san’s previous behest. Come to think of it, Saber-san was missing herself now…could they be fighting at this very moment? That’s not right…Senpai wouldn’t just leave me here by myself, would he? I know he thinks he’s trying to protect me by not talking about the Grail War here (whether he knows I’m involved or not) but I have a very bad feeling about this…it’s so quiet, being by myself in Senpai’s house. With my miso soup now finished I put the bowls away and decided to wash away my thoughts with a bath.
Little did I know that I was a few minutes too late.
Whilst I was inside the bathroom, I heard Saber-san’s and Nee-san’s voices. Senpai’s voice was not to be heard but I had assumed something terrible had happened. There was some sort of argument going on, some volleying of insults before I confirmed that Nee-san had left without talking to me. As she always does….
What brought me relief--despite Senpai’s absence--was Saber-san’s presence. Even if Senpai was hurt, as long as Saber-san is around, I can be sure that he is going to be fine. Yet not a person in the house had come to knock on the bathroom door. Did they not know I was in there? I’m sure it really is just something they are all overlooking at the moment….I’m just forgettable ol‘ Sakura, after all…
Agitation wove through my very being at the thought of Senpai getting hurt. While he should be alive, that is the very least of my worries. Despite what I’ve done to avoid any sort of conflict, it still drove itself home. Was it all for nothing? Just giving “her” away like she was some kind of pet?
No…it was necessary. If I had my Servant, then Senpai would consider me his enemy. Even if that were not the case, we would inevitably end up as opponents to one another. That was the conflict I sought to avoid. I don’t care if Rider thinks ill of me. I don’t deserve any kind of mercy other than….
“Sakura?”
Yet again I am found by Saber-san. I had redressed in my school uniform after the bath (as I had not exactly brought a change of clothes with me). Stray droplets of water still dripped from my hair as I dried it with a spare towel. I spoke, securing the ribbon in my hair.
“Saber-san.”
Not a look of bewilderment crossed her face. Rather, what touched upon her gentle face was her normal, rather neutral expression. “I must apologize,” she said, “but Rin will not be seeing you tonight.”
I am well aware of that…
“I’m…sure you probably heard what was being said. That is, that Rin and I were in a rather heated conversation. I’m afraid I might have driven her away…” A tinge of regret was noticeable in her voice but not on her face at all. I’ve never seen someone so…composed before. Nonetheless, I smiled.
“That’s alright it’s just…um….how is Senpai? Is he okay?”
“….I am sorry, it was my fault…he will not be getting up for a while. His injuries are severe.”
Severe…how severe? Oh my…my god…
My smile disappeared. I thought it was enough that he would be alive but…I wasn’t thinking. Even though he might live, complications from injuries are bound to occur at some point. What if Senpai is hurt so badly that he might never walk again or what if he loses function of one of his arms? Worse yet, what if he loses something? I felt sick to my stomach at the very notion of Senpai being harmed. Let it be me. Let it be Nee-san or Saber-san, but please…not Senpai…
“How is he?” I asked, almost a plea. No. That’s wrong; it definitely was a plea.
“He has sustained some injuries to his abdomen but he will recover. They will not inhibit his usual routines during the daytime, of this I can be certain,” Saber-san said. While she didn’t smile, Saber-san herself was as relieved as I was to hear those words. Rather mild injuries from a fight with a Servant if that was even the case. I have a feeling that….she’s holding something back.
I raised my voice a little. “That’s reassuring. Is there anything I can do?…”
I desperately wanted to help Senpai. After all, I…
Saber-san gently smiled, as if to deliberately interrupt my thoughts. “Your concern is appreciated. Shirou is resting right now so we should leave him at peace, at least for right now. The morning might be a tad awkward for him.” My own warm smile returned. “Would it be okay, then, if I stayed here tonight?” Saber-san closed her eyes and thought for a moment before reopening them and nodding. “There is little choice. I am afraid I cannot escort you to your home myself and leave Shirou unattended, obviously. Shall I prepare a room for you?”
I don’t think that would work out. Saber-san probably has no idea what my preferences are. We may appear to be the same age, but there’s a subtle difference between what I like and what she likes. I like to think that it matters, too. Besides I’ve slept over here once…even though it was a long time ago…and my bed was already made for me by Senpai…I’m sure I can do this! I waved both of my hands in front of me. “N-No I’m fine! It’ll take me just a minute. I’ll wake up early in the morning and put everything away so it would be like I was never here!” Saber-san seemed put off by this. “Uh…if you so wish it, but…you do not have a change of clothes…”
I turned and blushed. “That’s f-fine! I’ll just sleep in my underwear! That’s fine, right?”
“I…..you are right, I suppose…”
“Saber-san probably does the same too, doesn’t she?…”
“That is…I…that is of no concern to you, Sakura!”
I giggled a little.
“Hehe! So I guess even a Servant like you can get flustered, right, Saber-san?…” I said.
Saber’s face changed. I could feel it. Everything suddenly felt cold as I realized what I had just said.
“Sakura….what did you just say?….”
Everything grew still. Time slowed down until it seemed that it never passed at all. My throat suddenly ran dry and I found myself unable to speak. Silence followed. My hand tightened for a third time around my chest in apprehension. A mental clock ran through my head--seconds ticking away like precious grains of sand in an hourglass. Instead of being sand, the grains were water, a much more vital substance. Precious seconds. I don’t know how much time I had left. She might just be waiting for a short, half-witted answer before she took any sort of action.
I will be killed any second now.
No witnesses.
A minute passed. A full minute of the most tense situation of my life. There was no way out of this. The Saber-class is the strongest out of all of the seven classes and to top it off, they have the greatest magic resistance. Needless to say, my own pitiful excuse for “mage craft” would be better spent combing Saber-san’s hair.
I slowly craned my head on its axis to chance a look at Saber-san. There was actually very little change in her posture or even the expression on her face. I had already lost the chance to explain myself, perhaps to make an excuse and say I just misspoke. Right now, alarms were going off in Saber-san’s head. The Servant’s green eyes remained locked on me almost like she was expecting something. Did she want me to say something?…
“Saber-san…I….”
There was no reaction from her. At least, any effect that was visible. Saber-san finally replied. “I am sorry, Sakura. I was being hasty. Please relax.”
What?….
“Your reaction is understandable. Normally, I am under obligation to eliminate anyone who finds out about the Grail War in order to retain its secrecy.” My mouth, dry though it was, attempted to swallow.
“However…?”
Saber-san than became the exact opposite of me--her body lost all tension, her face loosened and she even smiled.
“However,” Saber-san continued, with a gentle voice, even, “you are my Master’s closest friend and a kind person. I do not know how you came to know about the Grail War but rest assured I will never hold it against you.”
One of the most important rules of the Holy Grail War…eliminate anyone who witnesses the Holy Grail War. By any means necessary. It can even take (temporary) precedence over the war itself in order to be preserved. Hearing such an obstruction from a Servant herself….much less did I expect to hear it from a Saber-class, was almost unbelievable. Whoever Saber-san was in life, she clearly placed a code of moral standards on the same level as her duty as a knight.
Or, perhaps, they were one and the same.
“Saber-san…” my throat still ran dry.
The Servant’s hands grasped each other in the manner befitting a gentle, young woman. “My Master--that is, Shirou, as you might have guessed--would certainly want it that way as well. Indeed, I will protect you as I would protect my Master--naturally, I would have no arguments from him regarding that.” I had finally managed to let out a sigh of relief. Something akin to a smile returned to my face as I turned to bow, humbly, at the knightly Saber-san.
“Really?…”
“I swear it.”
“Thank you, Saber-san.”
“You are most welcome, Sakura.”
“I…” my eyes shifted as not to meet the emerald gems that were Saber-san’s eyes, “I would like to ask you not to tell Senpai about this,” Saber-san’s eyes grew in surprise, “I don’t want him to know how I know or that I know at all. I don’t want to trouble him. Senpai has enough to worry about as it is, doesn’t he, Saber-san?”
“I would ask not that you keep secrets from Shirou. But this sort of thing should be settled between the two of you, as it were,” Saber-san the knight sighed, “I shall adhere to your request, Sakura. But I ask in return that you resolve this issue when you are given the first opportunity.”
I nodded and smiled my Senpai-melting smile. “Okay.”
She smiled back to me before telling me I should probably go to bed.
Laying my head down on my pillow, I thought about Saber-san far more than I thought I would be. She really wasn’t as bad as I thought she was. My thoughts--selfish, jealous thoughts--were truly unworthy of her true self. In the morning, I would surprise Senpai with a breakfast in bed. And Saber-san would be there to help me--to help someone she has truly no obligation at all to help.
Blood Fort Andromeda
The Noble Phantasm of the Fifth Grail War’s Rider-class Servant. It is a curse built to sap the mana of every living being within it’s cursed wall of a dome. It is impossible to replicate in this era, where magic is at an all-time low. During the age of the gods, a time where magic was at its peak, magical spells and curses of all sorts were devised and implemented. “Miracles” would be a closer word than “mage craft”. The Blood Fort is among these “miracles” devised by a particularly crafty magus from Ancient Greece--that is, who is now known as the Servant, Rider.
I dreamed about her.
There were wondrous heroes and beautiful woman that towered over the standard here in Japan. There were monsters from legend, mythical creatures with heads that would grow to replace severed heads, the magnificent Pegasus flew free in the skies of Greece and gods and goddesses had blessed the entire land with prosperity.
A woman stood alone on a cliff overseeing the ocean. Her long, purple hair flew in the wind. She was the oldest of three beautiful sisters and the strongest among them. Strong enough, in fact, to possess one of the most powerful and absolute set of the Mystic Eyes. So powerful, it was, that a mere glance would turn anyone she looked at to stone. So powerful, it was, that it had to be sealed at all times by a dark brace. She was considered a heretic, a witch, a dark-hearted oracle despite the fact none of these were true.
I could feel her chest as if it were mine. A cool sea breeze gently kissed the light skin of her, of OUR, face and neck. I could feel our long, Rapunzel-esque hair be as free as the seagulls that squawked in the sky, like so many leaves in the wind. Most of all, I could feel the apprehension gripping her heart. Not long….not long….not long….
Her time on this earth was relatively short. In the Age of the Gods, such things happened to people who had great and terrible power. Reviled as a monster, she soon became a literal one. I’ve never felt something so close and so dear, only to lose it all in the end. She prayed for death once. But she could never take her own life because…because……
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“…ri…..r……ri….r….ri…er….rider….”
I’ve never been in a hospital bed before. Come to think of it, I’ve hardly even been inside of a hospital to begin with.
I did come here when Senpai first got hurt a year ago but that was about it. Injuries in the archery club were scarce and could usually be solved with a quick rest and a few applications of band-aids and a then followed by a quick, yet hearty, snack. Injuries of this caliber, however, were definitely not from said club.
The one known as Sakura Matou--me--sat upright in her bed, dressed in the usual hospital gown all the patients were wearing.
Blood Fort Andromeda. Rider’s….my Rider’s Noble Phantasm. Nii-san used her Noble Phantasm to try and murder everyone in the school but someone stopped them before it was possible…Rider…did….this…
I cooed her name to myself. Her time was near. It was just something I knew….something that was inevitable. I can’t provide Rider with mana in the state I was in now…drained of most of my own mana that ended up not going into anything due to the Blood Fort being dissipated before it’s official activation. Then there’s the fact that Nii-san was driven into a corner by none other than Saber-san and Senpai. I don’t need confirmation--of all the Masters, Senpai would put priority of destroying the Blood Fort above that of the Grail War. The fact that my Command Spells were still on my hand was proof.
The nurses had told me that many other students--most of the school, in fact--were sent here but some of them were healthy enough to leave (unlike most of us). Everyone keeps asking anyone else they can as to what exactly caused a mass blackout like the one that happened. They will probably wonder until the end of their lives the question to an answer they are strictly forbidden to learn.
The ribbon in my hair remained, however. I requested no one was allowed to take it off and they approved. No matter what….
My eyes widened as I wondered if Senpai would come in and visit me.
Regaining more and more consciousness, I became aware that I shared a room with several other students, a few of whom I recognized. Mitsuzuri-senpai was to my left, in fact. She smiled to me as our eyes made contact, her brown hair looked more vibrant than it usually did. I giggled and couldn’t help but smile back. My stay in the hospital wasn’t looking to be so bad, if still a little…dull…
I mean, we didn’t even get our homework when the Blood Fort was set up…
It got late fast…but the next day was much, much slower. Almost like torture.
While I had heard that most of the students and staff were still to be confined here, most of the students in my room were showing signs of advanced recovery and were allowed to go home and rest there. Mitsuzuri-senpai sat down on my bedside the instant she found out that she had recovered.
It’s funny, almost…how she says she “has no idea what came over her” and “what the hell just happened to everyone” at the school. Said that “that was one hell of a gas leak!” after it all. Most of everything that was going on seemed like a blur to me, like looking at everything through frosted glass. I smiled to Mitsuzuri-senpai whenever I could and sometimes with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. What makes this even more of a punch line is that I cannot tell her the truth about what had happened.
What’s more, it is my fault.
I don’t show it. I never do. It would just upset everyone.
“Mitsuzuri-san,” said a nurse, “your parents are here to pick you up.”
Mitsuzuri-senpai didn’t even look at the nurse. “Duly noted. What about Sakura? Surely her grampa is here to pick her up as well, right?”
The nurse did not concede an answer.
My senpai didn’t budge and merely folded her arms in a huff. “I’ll stay here as long as I like, thank you very much!”
A couple of orderlies had entered the room. I think Mitsuzuri-senpai has quite the reputation…
“Woah! H-hey! Don’t tell me Dad--” MItsuzuri-senpai was then being tugged by the nurse and the two orderlies out of the room. “H-hey! Sorry about this, Sakura! Looks--ergh, you bastard!--looks like I’ll have to let everyone know you’ll be missing the next few meetings!”
“Senpai….!”
With her free arm, Mitsuzuri-senpai raised a thumbs-up. Very American-like, if I ever knew one, and she smiled. Without another word, the door was slammed shut along with the disappearance of my archery club captain.
….
I stared at the door for a long time. Everyone in the room was now gone, vacant rows of beds lined up only to have the pattern broken by one bed--by mine. I was just another person in the archery club, and a freshman at that, so why did Mitsuzuri-senpai try to stay with someone as insignificant as me? Why…why!?!
My heart felt like it skipped a beat and began a mile-long jog. My command seals almost looked like they were talking to me with their faint glow. Nii-san…why would he do all of this? Just to win the Grail War at the cost of everyone he knew at school?….even me?….
….if Rider were still mine…
…If I still had all three of my Command spells…
…no.
I don’t care.
Nothing and nobody could make me have to fight Senpai. Not even Rider.
Apprehension hung low on my chest, making me even more aware of my body. My heaving breasts. My long, seductive hair. All of my main curves were more feminine than many of my female classmates. It is certainly true that this body of mine is why so many male classmates have asked me out. Almost every other week it was somebody else: from Takeru-senpai to Ako-san, to even the foreign student, Rachel-san…I hate it. I hate this. Sakura Matou’s body is nothing more than that of a lewd--
“Matou-san, there’s someone here to see you,” said one of the nurses. My eyes immediately darted towards the door. Senpai came to see me? Fuji-sensei has yet to recover…So it has to be….
Instead of Senpai stepping through the door, I saw a Western girl enter and stand before my bedside.
It was Saber-san.
The nurse herself looked very surprised at seeing a Westerner like this coming to see someone like me but, nonetheless, she shrugged and left us alone with a polite bow. As for myself, I was also quite surprised at Saber-san visiting me and not Senpai…why is she here?…
I wasn’t going to be subtle about it.
“Saber-san, why are--”
She smiled.
“It is good to see that you are well, Sakura. I must offer my late apologies that I could not act sooner.”
Oh…that’s right…Saber-san must’ve been the one to stop Rider….
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m doing fine, Saber-san,” I said, gently, “where’s Senpai?”
“Shirou is visiting Taiga at this moment a few floors below us. Is there something wrong?…”
…that would mean that…”Saber-san, you really…meant what you said?”
“Hm?”
“Before, you said that….despite everything, you would protect me. You meant it?”
“Of course. I would not say such things so lightly. I will restate it--I shall protect you as well as Shirou with my life, if need be. It is the oath of a knight and nothing short.” Saber-san’s eyes seemed to be more than just staring straight into my own eyes--more like they were boring through them and straight out the other side. My very soul seemed like something she wanted to protect. Something…greater than herself, perhaps?
My hand felt numb. Would Saber-san…would she feel the same if she knew more about me?…Senpai thinks that Nii-san is Rider’s Master…
Even this small show of weakness caught Saber-san’s ever watchful eye. She kept her eyes on me as she occupied the space on the bed that Mitsuzuri-senpai previously held. “M’lady, is there something wrong? Try not to strain yourself,” she said.
…I certainly was straining myself. Everything was still pretty blurry. And I’m no medical expert. Even if I did get a high score on my last Biology test…
“I’m…still exhausted…but I will be fine.” My face certainly showed it. My head sagged back down onto the pillow.
“I am pleased to hear that.”
“…Nii-san was the cause of this.”
Saber-san sighed. I closed my eyes. At any second I felt like I could just fall into the pool of cold water known as a dream. Having a Servant--that is, quite possibly a hero from a child’s storybook--certainly eased me into that sort of thinking.
“I am afraid…that is correct. Shinji--your older brother--ordered Rider to set up that magic dome in order to drain everyone inside of their mana. I hypothesize that it is because he cannot restore Rider’s mana on his own.”
“You’re right…Nii-san cannot--”
“Sakura!”
“…it’s fine. You are correct. Nii-san cannot restore Rider’s mana on his own.”
“I am not asking you to divulge your own brother’s secrets!”
“Saber-san…you called me ‘M’lady’ before.”
I felt her shift on my bed.
“…err, well, yes I did…Force of habit, you could say.”
“So am I allowed to ask of you something?”
“If you insist. What is it?”
I inhaled deeply and sighed. “Nii-san cannot even be called a Magus. His magic is weak and his spells are entirely artificial. So if you would please….”
I took a deep breath. “…don’t hurt Nii-san. Just defeat him so he‘ll surrender. Then we can all just go home.”
Saber-san nodded. Each of my breaths were labored and my head felt like it was full of liquid, like a water balloon.
“Tell Senpai I am doing just fine, Saber-san. Tell him…it’s okay he didn’t come and see me today. And…” I added the biggest, brightest smile my strength allowed, “thank you for coming to see me. I‘m very glad.”
I attempted to open my eyes but even then I could barely make out Saber-san’s face. Her focus on me never wavered an inch. As my eyes closed and my last remaining bit of consciousness faded, I felt a hand latch onto mine with a delicate grip that would normally be used to hold a baby rabbit.
Saber-san.…was my ally. And I will value her for this…despite what little value I can offer in return. Both she and Mitsuzuri-senpai have shown great concern for me. Is this what it’s like to be loved? Such a simple notion yet I’ve never actually known it for a very long time. Not long ago, I would’ve hated Saber-san for occupying Senpai’s time but…
The sound of blood splattering woke me in the middle of the night, only to bear witness to the event that slew my Servant, Rider. I barely comprehended the light through the dark and my own blurred vision but at the same moment, the Command Spell on my hand disappeared entirely and I felt my link sever with its passing.
It was inevitable, I guess. I had asked Saber-san not to harm Rider if she could but I guess it was just wishful thinking.
Although I’m not positive that the light came from Saber-san, few Servants are capable of such might as that.
…
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My mind went blank for a few minutes at least.
I was dreaming about Rider before it happened. The blood had come from Rider, not me. No blood was found anywhere near my presence but as-is, the blood I heard was very real. I clutched my head as it throbbed with a forbidden magic. Every pulse--every heartbeat just prolonged the pain I was feeling.
Rider…Medusa no longer exists. Back to the myths of legends: I will never see my Servant ever again.
And it’s all my fault.
Less than half a day later, in the late morning, all of my strength returned. And first up on my list of things to do was to go to school!
Dinner for today will be extra special. This time, I’m preparing my secret “Bento-two-point-Oh!” for everyone! (Even Senpai doesn’t know the ingredients and it won’t even be his first time eating it!)
Mitsuzuri-senpai met me at the school to tell me that I didn’t have to come to archery today (as practice would usually still happen even on days off). It was mostly her telling me that, despite how I might feel, it would be a stupid idea to come to practice when I’m not at my best. It was almost hilarious to watch her argue to me. By that, it was mostly my meeger protests, barely a few syllables apiece, to Mitsuzuri-senpai going on and on about how crazy last night was and how some people had to be readmitted to the hospital because of their constitutions. While I myself assured her that I was perfectly fine, Mitsuzuri-senpai merely folded her arms in a huff.
“Che! Yeah, right! When I visited you the other day,” my senpai said, “you could barely nod your head! I think you probably understood maybe every third word I said. And what’s with these bags underneath your eyes?”
She motioned to the dark blotches beneath my eyes. They weren’t exactly a failed attempt at applying make-up. “You know you’re supposed to sleep at night, right? It’s what sick people do. Exceptionally well.”
“I just--”
“Hey hey!” she said, in yet again a very American-like way, “you wanna argue with me, Sakura? Then you might wanna prove to me you can walk a straight line.”
Her eyes glimpsed at my shaky legs.
“I understand,” I said.
My senpai smiled warmly.
“But what about tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“And the day after?”
“Depends.”
“This incident really hindered our capability to practice, didn’t it?”
“Yeah. Sucks, doesn’t It?”
Her smile was infectious. Before I knew it, I was trying my hardest to stifle a laugh at how casually Mitsuzuri-senpai was tossing aside anything pertaining to archery practice. That’s our senpai, for you.
“I got permission from the school to check all the archery equipment and all that boring Club President stuff. And you’d be silly to think you were the first one to arrive, thinking there was practice.”
There was more.
I stayed with Mitsuzuri-senpai for a bit longer before I was shooed out. Rather roughly, actually. Actually, she almost literally threw me out the school gates in order to get me to leave.
I was met face-to-face with Nee-san just outside of Senpai’s room.
“So…Senpai went out shopping?”
My sister ran a hand through her dark, flowing hair. Her Servant--Archer--had been sent outside. Thank goodness.
“Yeah. He’s just grabbing a few groceries. Nothing so serious,” said Nee-san.
“I see…” I averted my gaze. “Tohsaka-senpai, about last night…” “Hm?” Nee-san seemed rather…disinterested. Disgusted, almost. But not at me. At something else, rather…most likely at Senpai. “Oh, you mean Saber using her Noble Phantasm?”
“So it was Senpai who defeated Rider last night…”
Nee-san nodded. “According to Saber, she even confirmed that Shinji wasn’t harmed at all in the confrontation. Aughh…I hate to say it, but Shirou might just have it in him to finish what he’d started.” I smiled lightly at Nee-san’s surprising enthusiasm. Even though it actually kind of annoyed me. In response, my sister stared back at me in surprise. “Nee--I mean, Tohsaka-senpai? Is something the matter?”
“You worry me sometimes, Sakura.”
“Huh?…”
“I mean it,” she said, pointing her finger in a gesture as if to say “as a matter of fact…” “At any rate, that talk that we were going to have the other night is basically null now. Sorry I stood you up at another person’s house.” Nee-san didn’t have me convinced of her sincerity.
I merely waved off the notion and said it was fine. I really wanted to see Saber-san right now and, frankly, Nee-san was one of the last people I wanted to see right now. Although I do wish we could be friends or…more preferably, actual sisters for once. As is, Nee-san barely even knows that I’m there most of the time. Nearly all of the time, even before high school, before middle school--ever since we were separated. I can’t hate her but it’s almost impossible to like her, too.
Please, Nee-san…
She lightly nodded her head and stood aside to let me into Senpai’s room, which was, according to Nee-san, occupied by Saber-san at the moment (I was really intending to just go into her room via Senpai’s).
“Sakura!”
The sudden shouting of my name spooked me as I was closing Senpai’s door. In Senpai’s futon lie Saber-san. Not resting, not even tired, her emerald eyes were beaming straight at me with a slightly agitated strain in her voice. I hurriedly got onto my knees right next to the futon, almost stumbling over nothing in the clumsy attempt. “S-Saber-san!”
“I would ask why you are out of the hospital so early.”
I pressed my fingers together a few times. Saber-san probably did not want me to immediately come back after just having recovered.
Saber-san sighed. “You realize it is dangerous to come here? Surely you know of the risks involved, Sakura.” The rest of Saber-san’s body looked almost completely immobile. This proves it.
“Saber-san, did you…you defeated Rider?”
“I did. And Shinji escaped with his life as far as I could tell.”
I sighed in relief. Nii-san was alive after all. Saber-san kept her promise to me….
There was a long, quiet pause. Few words were spoken between us. Mostly, it was Saber-san asking me a rare question about my school life, any “betrothed” I might have and a few other things. They were brisk, easily answered questions. I tried not to think about what, exactly, Saber-san was getting at. I failed, of course.
She sat up with as much strength as she could. “My mana is dangerously low right now. As things stand, unless Shirou can replenish my mana, I will disappear within two days.” And there is no way Senpai could replenish her mana on his own without resorting to “that”…which he probably doesn’t even know about…
Saber-san closed her eyes, as if falling asleep upright.
As it were, things were not looking up even after last night’s victory. It may even end up as a double-edged sword to both Saber-san and Senpai. And there’s nothing I can do…
…well, except one thing…
“Saber-san…would you like something to eat?…”
The Servant’s eyes shot open and stared right at me, bewildered. In the blink of an eye, I could’ve sworn her tongue ever so slightly brushed the outer part of her lips. “Well….if you wouldn’t mind…” she said.
Saber-san truly is the biggest eater I have ever seen.
A record three minutes to ravage two entire bowls of (rather hastily made, I admit) bowls of pork-friend rice and mushrooms (with various other vegetables thrown in). I had never really paid too much attention to Saber-san before, but this was the first time she was fully concentrated on her food and nothing else, and…well….darn.
“Is that all there is, Sakura?” said Saber-san.
I scratched a spot on my cheek to mirror a spot that Saber-san had left a piece of rice on. She didn’t take the hint. “Senpai is out shopping right now…so please just wait until he gets back. There’s still more we can talk about until then!”
Saber-san cleaned her face up with a napkin. “Oh, yes, I am sorry…it was very good, Sakura…”
I don’t know how she can complement the meal I made whenever she hasn’t even touched the tea I made. I even sweetened it extra for her…
Not a spot of food had fallen onto Senpai’s futon, however. Her manners are impeccable. “Saber-san…I want to thank you as well…for…you know…” Saber regained her knightly posture. “It is a knight’s honor--as I have made the promise, so did I fulfill it. Did you not expect a different result, Sakura?”
“Erm, n-no! I really am grateful to you, Saber-san!…”
“Something else bothers you?…”
“It is nothing. Really.”
I shied my face downwards from Saber-san. Close though we may have become, this is something that no one but Sakura Matou can attest to. No outside force can intervene or conduct circumstance about my relationship with my….”sister”. But…maybe…just maybe, Saber-san could help again. I picked up and held Saber-san’s hand in between two of my own. I steeled myself and my heart for what was to come. The green eyes of the Servant remained fixed towards me, the inhuman gaze withering away my courage before it even began. “Saber-san…” I said, failing to hold back a red blush, “could I…ask something else of you?”
“…You may proceed.”
“Did you ever have a sister? When you were alive in your past life, I mean…”
For the first time, Saber-san adopted a truly human form. She averted her entire gaze away from me for a moment or two. My hands never left the softness of hers. In fact, she grasped one of my hands with a gesture of acceptance. “Saber-san?…”
She looked back at me, stern as ever. “Yes. I did at one point have a sister. Why do you ask?”
“Did you ever get along with her?” Despite her earlier hesitation, the knightly Saber-san did not drop her façade. “I did. She might have done many terrible--even unforgivable--things to me, but I can never ‘not’ call her my own sister. It is unbefitting as a knight…as a human being to consider thinking such an unworthy notion. Were she here right now I would--”
“Yell at her?”
“Hmph. ‘Yelling’ would be going too easy. I would then proceed to conduct sword practice with her. The very same sword practice that I conduct with Shirou. Only then would I listen to any words she might have.”
I smiled as I held onto Saber-san’s hand a little tighter. Maybe asking someone from an entirely different era such a question might’ve be a silly idea…nonetheless…
“So I should…just talk to her myself?…”
“Your sister? I was not aware you had one, Sakura.”
Me: “I have an older sister, just the one.”
Saber-san: “Yes.”
Me: “She doesn’t live with me anymore.”
Saber-san: “And I take it you two don’t get along?”
Me: “We don’t so much get along as…we just don’t talk.”
Saber-san: “At all?”
Me: “A little. We just don’t address ourselves as such.”
Saber-san: “Your sister is Rin, am I correct?”
Me: “You are. o.o;”
Saber-san began blushing a little. Our hands still hand not parted. I would be stupid to wonder how Saber-san could figure it out after I pretty much spelled it out for her--my relationship with Nee-san as it appears to Saber-san, I mean.
I sighed heavily. At last, our hands parted as Saber-san sat on her knees on the futon in direct contrast with my own posture, her gold hair appearing to shine brightly in the midday sun. I could never have known that Westerners could appear so…out of this world. While obviously, as a Servant, Saber-san truly was not of this world, her appearance was not. Rather, Servant’s looks are the stuff of storybooks and fairy tales, being breathtakingly beautiful or horrifically ugly like a monster. But Saber-san…was head and shoulders above the others, or at least she looked that way. I’ve yet to see her fully smile but it would probably bring a tear to someone’s eye to see it.
“Why are you staring at me, Sakura?” Saber-san’s blush did not dissipate. “It’s quite rude.”
“Ahh!” I turned red as a tomato.
“A little daydreamer, are you not?”
“Uh, ah heh heh, a little…”
“I must be serious with you, Sakura. You can be strange at times. But not in a bad way.”
“W-what do you mean? Ahh!” Saber-san’s hand caressed the right side of my face, making my hair meet my cheek. I could not tell at all from her stoic face what, exactly, she was contemplating. This was starting to frustrate me, not being able to get any sort of hint as to what they are thinking beyond the obvious breaks in their stoicism. “Your hair,” she said, “it is purple. It is strange yet it is beautiful at the same time. Are you ever ashamed of it?”
I inwardly enjoyed the feeling of this Westerner’s hand on my face, gently straddling my long hair. I simply shook my head a little.
“I have never seen anyone with hair such as yours before, Sakura. And if I have, they were not nearly as lovely.”
Lovely. She said my hair was…lovely.
“This is my true advice to you, Sakura. I do not know what Rin has done or what was done to both of you, you must not let it hold you back. Speak with her, confront her if you must. Such troubles that may torment you will not go away unless they are dealt with directly. Do not let these things bother you forever, marring the beauty that your mother gave you.”
I could feel a tear roll down the same side of my face her hand was stroking.
And Saber-san was smiling. “Saber-san…”
Her hand left my face alone. Yet, her smile remained.
In an instant, I felt her weight collide softly into my embrace. It was a reaction almost instinctual, a feeling almost too simple. I definitely could not deny that Saber-san had just become someone very important to me, here, in a time where I had always thought there was only ever one person who truly cared about me. I wanted nothing more yet ended up with as much, anyway, here around the body of the Servant, Saber.
The lithe, yet strong body of Saber-san…
“Saber-san…” my own face smiled as I wiped the tear away, discouraging myself from shedding more for my own sake. I held fast onto her slightly smaller body, as if holding on for dear life. For all intents and purposes, I actually was. Without her, without…this love I knew I was feeling, my path would not have been an easy one…no, it would still be hard. But it would be enjoyable. A road worth walking, added by just one more person.
The hands of Saber-san never tried to pull me closer to her (not that that was really possible). I wanted to feel every bit of her, to care…her hands weakly brought themselves to the upper part of my chest and pushed me away, signaling the end of our embrace. Although it actually wasn’t the end of something else that was happening between us…
I could see that the breathtaking smile had not left Saber-san’s face. If anything, it was shining all the brighter. And it was all directed at me. Only at Sakura Matou.
“I…seem to have grown quite fond of you, Sakura,” she said softly, her luminescent blush highlighting the delicate face of purity that was Saber-san. I rubbed back another tear that had dared to from and nodded as she had her hands now on my shoulders. I didn’t need to say it for Saber-san to hear it. It felt as though I just had to think it. But it was true on my part as well.
I was growing very fond of Saber-san, as well.
By her guidance, our foreheads touched in delicate balance. Despite her near-depleted mana level, Saber-san’s strength yet appeared to be anything but gone. Her eyes, green gems, stared into my own darker, plum-emboldened eyes. In those eyes, I saw my own happiness reflected, and hers reflected in mine. Moments could be eons for all we cared. Until, that is, her eyes closed. Her hands climbed to the sides of my head, sliding into my purple mane of hair as she held on and brought my forehead down to her lips. With the slightest touch, she kissed the origin of my hair, just above my crown.
“Saber-san….” I said, our foreheads returning to their original positions. “Can we stay like this…just a little bit longer?”
“As you wish, my lady,” she said to me. As my knight.
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Originally Posted by Seika
