I can imagine this will end badly or a harem route
Well there's three of the cutest/sexiest Fate characters and three of the GARest Fate characters...so I'm gonna go with "going to end badly in harem route". I wonder if that means Archer will be trying to kill Shirou while he sleeps with Rider and Lancer talks women with (False) Assassin. Simultaneously.
I wonder if Shirou will end up in bed with all SIX of them. We must also consider how they will deal with Gilgamesh and Zouken (though the latter was never terribly impressive).
Ask TIK - Where all your important life questions can be answered.
Not impressive? His first major act led to the death of a good character and got True Assassin who killed Saber.
I mean in terms of combat ability, but you do have a point.
Ask TIK - Where all your important life questions can be answered.
The look on Rin's face is going to be priceless. You can also tell that Archer is dieing of laughter on the inside.
Hilarious and original don't even begin to describe this fic.
Though, tbh, Shirou's prana is in no way able to maintain all 6 of them...
It gets handwaved early on by stating that their abilities have been downgraded, although I suspect that even Rin wouldn't be able to maintain six low level Servants. Rule of Cool and all.
I'm starting to wonder what happened to True Assassin, though, unless he's just hiding somewhere.
... I'm sorry, but now I've got this image of a chibi!Assassin(True) stalking the other Servants, sincethinning the herdincreasing the prana ratio is obviously the best way to serve their Master.
re:breaking Heaven's Feel: It's sad but true, and Rin is going to have the mother of all tsuns when she figures it out- especially if it means she can't summon a Servant herself.
It took almost half an hour, but Sakura finally relented when Shirou had called out the rest of his father’s associates and only one of them was a woman. An exceptionally beautiful woman, like the other two had been – but Sakura was sure that even if the three men were all handsome enough to make her blush (Just a little! Her senpai was still the best, after all.) Shirou wasn’t the type to swing that way…even if she did spend a moment or two imagining what it would be like if he had. For some reason, the thought of her senpai and the tannest man seemed particularly appealing, though she couldn’t point out why other than the fact that the man felt like he would be extremely aggressive towards Shirou.
In bed.
So yes, she had convinced herself that 1. Shirou’s associates simply had a terrible sense of humor, 2. Shirou hadn’t suddenly summoned a harem over night, 3. Shirou hadn’t decided to include her when he was building one, and finally 4. She wasn’t at all disappointed by 3 at all.
“I’ll explain the details later,” her senpai said, after introducing all of his strangely named friends. “For now, it should be enough to know that they’ll be staying over for a while.”
Sakura pursed her lips, shooting some glances at the women. In her gut she couldn’t help but feel dangerous vibes coming from them, and yet…
“I don’t like it,” Sakura said, looking to Shirou. “But…at least you won’t be doing anything funny, and there are other men staying with you too.” Even if Sakura wasn’t sure if they would be a good influence on Shirou just yet. Lancer seemed like he would be a natural playboy, while Assassin, despite being substantially more subdued, still had an aura of a host from one of the Shibuya clubs.
As for Archer…
“Don’t worry,” Archer said, as though he had read her mind. When he flashed a smile at her she felt her heart flutter – and for a moment she almost mistook him as her senpai. “I’ll make sure he behaves.”
Shirou laughed weakly. “Well, as you see, there’s nothing suspicious going on here.”
“You know, senpai,” Sakura said with a sigh. “That’s the last thing you should say when you’ve finally convinced someone there’s nothing strange going on.”
XXX
Shirou had worried a little when he had called out the other servants to help explain things to Sakura. While none of them had been dressed quite as inappropriately as Rider was, it was still sure to make Sakura give them strange looks if they had showed up as they first appeared. Fortunately, like Saber, they had all come out wearing business attire – though he wasn’t completely sure where they had found those clothes. Most of them appeared similar to things his father, Kiritsugu, owned, though they wouldn’t have originally been in the servant’s sizes.
If he had to hazard a guess, Caster had probably used her magic to alter the clothing for them to wear. Shirou had to admit that her magic was pretty convenient – far more convenient than his own petty skills.
The only exception was Archer, who was dressed more or less how he came. The difference was that he had replaced his coat with Shirou’s apron. Despite the fact it seemed to look natural on him, it annoyed Shirou to no end to see the man dressed like that.
Archer was a complete mystery – but at least Shirou’s theory of him being a psychic was gaining more support. It seemed like even Sakura was not immune to Archer’s apparent ability to read minds. Of course, if Archer was psychic he was probably reading the thoughts of Shirou all the time – and was no doubt enjoying himself as he watched Shirou handle the stresses of suddenly being the master of six servants.
Archer, you’re a bastard! Shirou thought as loudly in his head as possible, but Archer didn’t react. Of course, there was a good chance he wanted to think he couldn’t read minds.
Just in case, Shirou would still remain on guard.
“Anyway, I should get started on breakfast,” he said, turning to Archer and holding out a hand. Shirou wanted his apron back, unable to stand watching it be held hostage in the clutches of the other man any longer. “If you would mind…”
“No, I didn’t mind at all,” Archer said, amazingly giving up the apron to Shirou without any resistance. “Here you go, Shirou.”
It was easy. Too easy, in fact. Still, Shirou accepted the apron, deciding not to worry about the servant’s sudden congeniality. Shirou should have been, though, and as soon as he stepped into the kitchen he understood just what horrible thing Archer had done.
Archer, you’re a bastard!
…no reaction. Archer was good.
Shirou spent a few moments staring at his kitchen, where a practical breakfast feast (there was no way he could call it a simple meal, though with the amount of mouths to feed a feast was probably necessary anyway) was laid out, ready to serve trays. For some strange reason there were also no dishes in the sink, and no sign that any of his cooking instruments had even been used. Shirou pledged immediately that whatever secret technique Archer had used to do all of this he would figure it out and master it himself. For now, however, he resigned himself to bringing out the food – like he was just an ordinary waiter who simply carried out the master chef’s dishes.
It took a couple of trips, even with the help of Assassin coming in to help him – but soon enough they were all seated at a rather crowded table, food set out before them and all the bowls, plates and utensils ready for the group.
“I didn’t think it was possible, but you’ve improved Shirou! This is the best meal you’ve ever cooked!” Taiga said, already digging in.
“Actually, it wasn’t me this time but,” Shirou began, ignoring his damaged pride, before he stopped and blinked. The other people at the table did too – how the woman had snuck a place into the table without anybody noticing until that moment was a mystery.
“But what, Shirou?” Taiga asked, pausing in between forkfuls of an omelet. Apparently, the fact that there was anybody else there at all was a mystery to her as well – at least for a few precious seconds. Then, all of a sudden she realized that everybody was staring at her and immediately stood up, almost bumping the table in the process. “Shirou, who are all these people?!”
“Guys,” Shirou said, gesturing towards Taiga. “Meet my teacher. Taiga, meet my father’s associates.”
Lancer grinned. “You didn’t tell me your teacher was a woman,” Lancer said as he patted Shirou on the back. “And you told me you weren’t bringing over a harem!”
At this, Sakura blushed a little as she smiled about at least being included in it. However, just as she was about to correct Lancer, Assassin did it for her.
“No, you see, for it to be a harem it would have to be at least three girls.”
Unfortunately, Assassin corrected Lancer on the wrong issue.
“Ah,” Lancer said, understanding correctly. “Of course. What’s the saying for this situation then?”
“‘A flower on each arm’ I believe.”
Taiga didn’t seem to be paying attention to the conversation. Instead, she looked around, before focusing on Shirou. “Hey-hey Shirou! Tell me, what’s going on? Why are all of these people here?!”
Shirou sighed. It was going to be a long day today.
XXX
Tohsaka Rin was not having a good morning. She had found out earlier that she had missed her chance to take part in the Holy Grail War. While it wasn’t as though she cared about fighting or even the chance to have her wish granted by the Holy Grail, it was shameful to think that she wouldn’t be directly involved in it at all. As the person who was in charge of this territory, as well as a member of one the three families that had set up Heaven’s Feel, it was her duty to be one of the participants as a master.
And she had missed it! She missed the call! Worse yet, if she had just been a little more careless and had done the summoning ritual a little earlier she would have no trouble calling a servant of her own. Who knows – she may have even summoned Saber himself!
Ultimately, though, she couldn’t put the blame on herself not being clumsy enough. If she hadn’t procrastinated in summoning a servant then she wouldn’t have even been put in this situation at all. Kotomine had reminded her to summon a servant as soon as possible, and she had ignored him. No doubt he would lord it over her like all of the other times she had disregarded advice that had been right.
She respected the man’s ability, but it was always difficult to deal with his…personality. It would probably be even more difficult now.
To be honest, she just wanted to stay in bed all day and rest. Unfortunately, that would ruin her image as a model student and, even more importantly, she couldn’t allow herself to slide on her self-discipline just because one thing had gone wrong in her life. People who did that eventually never left their bed at all. So, with a tired groan and a small curse at the clock, she got out of bed and got ready for school.
When she arrived at the gates she realized another thing that was wrong. There was nobody else there aside from some early birds already heading for their morning clubs. With a small frown she looked at her watch and realized, yes, she had forgotten to change the clocks in her house for the second day in a row. “How could this day get any worse?” she muttered.
“Ohoho,” a voice behind her came, answering Rin’s question almost immediately if not intentionally. “To think that the famous Tohsaka Rin would be up so early in the morning! Don’t tell me that you forgot to change your clocks for the second day in a row?”
Rin, deciding against ignoring the voice behind her, chose to turn around and face the girl with a smile. It was, just as she thought, none other than the heir to the Edelfelt family, Luvia. A buxom girl with blond drills, she had transferred to the school a few weeks earlier with a not so subtle challenge that she would be facing Rin in the Holy Grail War.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t do it too,” Rin said frankly, knowing that, as much as she hated to admit it, Luvia was similar to her in many ways – in talent, in spells and in their clumsiness. “I know full well that you only like to arrive when there are enough people to admire your entrance.”
Luvia, after all, liked to compete with Rin on many things – including popularity.
“Well, okay, I admit I did make a tiny error,” Luvia said sheepishly. “However, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about today!”
The corner of Rin’s mouth twitched a little. To be honest, she should have seen this coming. Luvia was undoubtedly about to brag about summoning a servant of her own. “So, what is it?” Rin said, deciding to get it over with.
“Oh, I just wanted to know if you had managed summon a servant yet, that’s all,” Luvia said with a smirk.
“No,” Rin replied dryly. “I have not.”
“Well, I’m not surprised. To be honest, I’d be amazed if you had even tracked down a catalyst yet – though an attempt would be futile anyway.”
“Yes. It would be very futile indeed.” Luvia didn’t have to rub it in, though Rin supposed if she was in her situation she would be gloating to.
“Oh, so you understand?” Luvia said, surprised. “Well, it’s understandable. After all, my family has provided me the most excellent artifact with which to call forth a servant tonight! Undoubtedly he will be invincible, so it would be pointless for you to try to defeat me in battle.”
Rin’s expression suddenly froze in shock, scaring even Luvia for a moment. Then, as she realized that Luvia too hadn’t summoned a servant after all, her lips formed an impish grin. “Tonight you say? So you’re going to summon a servant tonight, huh?”
“Yes, that’s right. Is there something wrong with that?”
“Oh, so I guess you haven’t heard then…”
Luvia blinked, though the way Rin was acting was beginning to frighten her. “Haven’t heard what?”
“All seven servants have already been summoned.”
Luvia blinked again, her eyes widening in shock. “But that’s impossible, there had only been one called until yesterday!”
“Yes. That is, until last night,” Rin explained, enjoying Luvia’s misery maybe a little too much. She was starting to see why Kotomine acted that way…
…she should probably avoid making it a habit, in order to avoid becoming like the twisted priest.
“Last night?”
“Yes. The last six servants were summoned all at the same time last night.”
Rin watched with constrained glee as the truth dawned on Luvia’s face. Then she stepped back and plugged her ears – because as much as she hated to admit it she and Luvia were similar in many ways…including the way they handled news.
“FFFFFF-”
Last edited by Mereo Flere; March 28th, 2011 at 07:23 PM.
^^! I like-
Priceless.
Words fail me.
Delicious, even if she is being a little calm right now. The phone call... visit... whichever would've been nice to see, too; I can't imagine Kotomine missing this massive a moment to fuck with her. I hope we get to see the RAEG later.
Missing subject- patted who? Shirou, I'm guessing, but you still need to say it.
oh my wow.
God, this is golden.
Arthur-san is my waifu
[20:57] frantic: I can't even remember what opinions I actually hold about the thing compared to shit I made up to piss people off
[17:13] Airen: Its not an airen character unless gay
Oh Taiga, there is nothing that you can't make better.
This... is definitely hilarious. Please, do write more.