Santo's drabbles, snippets, and oneshots.

[Santo]

Aight sssso!

Turns out I've started writing a tad more than I thought I would (read, any writing at all). And because I am much too lazy to make new threads I decided to open up my own drabbles thread in order to more easily keep stock of my writing.

This here first post will be for indexing. I'll post a link to whatever stuff I've written on other threads here, and re-post what I don't have bookmarked or that has been lost to time.
Index:

The Lives and times of Kaleido Shirou

Main continuity

Shirou:The Last Man
Lion Turtle's, Moolatyphant's, and Platypus Bear's. Oh My!
Intimate Conversations with a Tea Connoisseur
Never Let Your Sword Do The Talking
The Stages of Grief...and Cheesecake
From Grief to Fury
Plight
The Witch
The Horseman
Escape Into Fire
The First Flame
The Second Flame
Homecoming
Smiles and Goodbyes.
Truth.

Secondary continuity

Cat Days.
The Return
Fight Me!

Stand alone.
Once Upon a Time.

The Invasion of Old_Iron's Drabbles.

Invasion
Provocation
Training
Away on Business: Part 1
Away on Business:End.
My daughter.
Gathering Storm
Growing Part: 1 (crack)
Birthday(Omake)

Beast's Lair:The defense of MSLD

MSLD Chapter 1
MSLD Chapter 2
MSLD Chapter 3

Heroes of Justice
An Everyday Outing
A Hero's Work
A Most Exposed Rendezvous
Divine Intervention

Random drabbles.
Narrating:A day in the life of Gilgamesh.
Redemption.
Dread Sword Tora-Shinai.
Angri's Rebirth.
Chaotic Experience
That Which Should Not Be.
Misunderstandings.
To Please a King.
Another day at the Emiya residence.
Man Talk.
Archer's Dojo.
Christmas Carol, Santo Style.
Meaning.

Shirou Takes Reinforce Zwei out for ice-cream.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Hellsing drabble series.
A Meeting.
Questions.
Gathering Clouds.
Choices.
The Inner World.
My Enemy.
Bad dog, no biscuit.(crack)
Come Forth.

Kaleid LinerxOtoshimono drabble series.
Kaleid LinerxOtoshimono crossover.

Non-Typemoon.
The Wonders lack of sleep will do to your Muse.

[Santo]

This was a weird little prompt I found floating around on the fanfics section one time.

What if you. You sitting on the computer there. Were to narrate a day of a FSN character?

Whoever could hear the narrator is up to the writer.

So after some deliberation I knew exactly whose day I wanted to ruin narrate.

No idea where the original thread ended up, but here is my contribution to it.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

And so the golden king left the establishment, his pompous face alight with anger at the idiocy of the workers inside. To think they would not recognize the King of Heroes Himself! (Although in their defense no one really needs to know of the epic of Gilgamesh anyways, I mean, who the hell would want to read about some idiot gay guy that fell in love with a man made of mud anyways)

“Not listening not listening not listening” Muttered the greatest of Kings to himself in impotent rage, wondering why it is that this cursed voice would not leave him alone. Almost unwillingly he thought back to the beginning of his day. When he had awoken and realized that a deep baritone had taken it upon itself to narrate the Kings glory for all to hear.

After he had finished placing his Saber hug pillow back into that very special spot in his Gate of Babylon, sighing his dismay that the greatest of treasures still eluded him (for we all know that the King of Knights will never lower herself as to be with such a pompous prick) “WHAT!” Interrupted the Golden King in apoplectic fury, his face as red with fury as the highest quality tomatoes, for the King of Heroes deserves nothing less than to be compared to the highest excellence of vegetables.

“Silence you worthless fool! Come and face me so that I can rid this world from the plague that is your existence!” Screamed the Highest Excellency to the high heavens(although it should be noted that the high heavens are NOT as high as the Highest Excellency), forgetting the fact that he was at the moment walking down a busy street, causing many a person to look at his Majesty with concern in their eyes. However, a neutral observer would likely feel compelled to point out a hole in the Kings flawless logic. For when threatened with annihilation, a person would most certainly not feel compelled to reveal themselves.

Gilgamesh’s left eyebrow began to twitch Majestically, a vein in his forehead visibly pulsing with splendor to display his Kingly Rage.

“NotListeningNotListeningNotListeningNotListeningN otListeningNotListeningNotListeningNotListeningNot ListeningNotListening” Repeated Gilgamesh to himself, the Sacred Mantra dripping with his Kingly Hatred and Glory.

‘One moment I will find you voice, I will find you and annihilate you for this transgression against the King’ Iterated The Greatest Majesty, promising such to the voice in his head. And so he walked with Kingly rage oozing form his every pore. (A more prosaic entity would say that he was throwing an immature tantrum. But such a thing cannot be said of the Greatest of all Majesties, his was a Kingly Tantrum to dwarf in Kinglyness and splendor all other tantrums.)

Gilgamesh stopped, trembling in a rage to dwarf the rage of all others who ever trembled in rage, for he was the King of Heroes and so his rage was more ragey than all others. Gilgamesh began to summon his golden armor, preparing to Majestically rain death upon the entire city in the off-chance that it would get rid of the pestering voice. (Although a neutral observer would feel the need to point out that perhaps his Angered Majesty was simply…well not insane because he was that already, but said neutral observer might consider the fact that the Ultimate King may suffer from schizophrenia, not that the Ultimate King would deem it necessary to know the meaning of the word schizophrenia, for he thought that the word did not sound Kingly enough for his greatest of Majesties.)

Gilgamesh gnashed his teeth in an appropriately Kingly fashion. He was about to unlock his armory and rain overpowered death upon a completely unaware city when he noticed something across the bridge. Clairvoyance rank C most assuredly comes in handy. For across the great distance he could see the most beautiful hair of spun gold, eyes so green they put to shame the precious stones they so resembled, that Aura of Majesty and Purity he would never be able match. Saber was there along with her Master, the naïve boy who even outmatched would never surrender in order to protect her.

“Stupid voice, those were not my thoughts at all!” Said Gilgamesh with a Kingly huff. A neutral observer might be tempted to point out that maybe…just maybe the voice in his head would feel happy at finally being acknowledged without the use death threats. But Gilgamesh should stop trying to lie to himself.

“How the hell am I lying to myself! I WILL take Saber from that Mongrel dog of a Master! He does not deserve such a treasure!” Said Gilgamesh in all his Majestic Glory, feeling so confident in his words that it would simply be inconceivable (ehhe…inconceivable…hehe) that anyone would disagree. And for once the voice in Gilgamesh’s head happened to agree with him, however if it could it would point out that the boys drive is simply unmatched, why in Last Episode against all odds they found each other again, two miracles that would never have happened had the boy not had the drive to match his Sabers determination.

“Just what in the name of the Gods are you speaking of now?” Asked Gilgamesh, exasperation clear in his voice. If it could, the voice in his head would ‘tsk’ at itself in annoyance for endangering the continuity of the current timeline, however it cannot. But this humble voice might remember the Goldenest of all Majesties among the Kingly Kings that he is about to lose sight of Saber, and if he wishes to go and confront them he should probably get a move on.

“Wha-?” Said the Golden King, before realizing that the voice in his head spoke true. With a very Kingly haste he hurried across the bridge in all his Majestic Glory. (Although a less refined voice might point out he was sprinting for all he was worth in an extremely undignified fashion).

“Not Listening!”

[Lycodrake]

'tis a glorious thread and snippet, Santo. Bravo.
...if I were able to move my arms and hands, I would give you a round of applause.

[Keyne]

Oooh, braaaave Sir Robin~

[Old_Iron]

I did laugh my ass off. I needed that greatly. Thank ye.

[Santo]

Anyways! To keep on posting!

This oneshot was born out of an idea someone had of Jesus being a woman and summoned by Shirou as a Servant.

This spawned a lengthy discussion, which in turn spawned the idea for this oneshot.

If any of you would like to see the blasphemous yet heartrendingly awesome snippet by Theo which began this blasphemous escapade you need only go here. (yes I looked this up but was somehow too lazy to look up the actual thread with the fic and post a link to it...I'm weird like that.)

You'll likely find the post that proposed this idea further on.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Kotomine Kirei was born that day.

To say that he was reborn, would be a most grievous mistake. For to be reborn, one must first have lived. Kotomine Kirei was not a man who claimed to have known life.

The boy had been brought in by his protégé. As soon as he learned the boy’s name, his blackened heart skipped a beat. A broken and discarded hope had kindled itself once more inside of him.

When he learned that the boy aspired to the same thing as his father, Kotomine Kirei knew joy as he had not known it in his entire existence. Perhaps, now, ten years after the fact, he would have his rematch against Emiya, and they would see which of the two was truly the greater.

However, what surprised him the most was the boy’s Servant. She was a small woman, nothing of her appearance truly stood out. If he were forced to find a word that would describe her, he would need to have settled for ‘anonymous’. She was neither tall nor short, her skin neither dark nor fair, her hair color was an unimpressive shade of brown, her nose neither hooked nor beaked. If pressed, he would have a hard time describing her in detail, for truly, she was a woman not unlike any other.

However, she carried herself very uniquely. A surety of purpose radiated out of her every pore. It was as if she knew her duty, accepted her lot in life. And rejoiced in it, for there was nothing more she could ever want, but to fulfill her purpose. She was not charismatic per-se, but one was naturally inclined to listen to her soft-spoken words. For her soft soprano carried in it wisdom much beyond the seasons her body had traversed.

Kotomine Kirei looked into her eyes. And saw in them something he had failed to ever see since the day he was born.

Understanding.

She knew. She took but one glance at him and knew. She understood that he was fundamentally broken. She knew that he had been born twisted. She understood the depths of the abomination he was. And she pitied him for it.

Taking care to suppress the smile formed from the pain in her eyes, he turned away from his disciple and the fuming young Master, and keeping his voice carefully neutral he ventured to ask a question he knew would not be answered.

“I ask of you, young Servant. What is your name?”

The two teenagers stopped and looked at him sharply, if for different reasons. One was coping with his hostile feelings; it was as if something in him rebelled against the very presence of the priest before him, the compulsion to strike at the older man overwhelmingly strong. The girl looked at him in annoyance, why ask a question that he knew would not be answered?

The young Servant took a moment to gather herself, the emotions in her eyes shifting from surprise, to puzzlement, and lastly, into determination, but never once were pain and pity lifted from her auburn orbs.

The Servant gave a slight bow before answering in her soft soprano, “I am Servant Saver of the fifth Holy Grail War. My name, is Yeshuah of Nazareth.”

Kotomine Kirei, survivor of the Fourth War, Master of Gilgamesh, torturer and Oath Betrayer, sank to his knees, and prayed.

=============================================

Kotomine Kirei sat in the confession booth.

“Bless me Mother, for I have sinned. I am a man of the Lord, and it has been ten years, eight months, three weeks, and four days since my last confession.”

And so Kirei spoke for what could have been hours, or mere moments. He told her all of it, of his history, his empty achievements and unrewarding honors.

How he could take no joy from any of The Father’s creations, yet only felt truly alive when he basked in the agony of others.

Of the moment he felt no sorrow for the woman he loved, save that he could not be the one to kill her.

How he could feel no grief for his father’s passing, except that he was not the one to wield the knife that took his life.

He told her how he took advantage of the trust of his mentor, in order to be able to stab him in the heart, with the very gift that cemented their bond.

He told her of his battle against Emiya Kiritsugu, of their shared vision of what a wish upon the Grail would bring about. He spoke of his most ardent desire for it to be used, for his own chance to have a wish granted, knowing that it would bring naught but pain and destruction to all.

He told her of the many times he took advantage of his Guardianship of his mentor’s daughter. How he would delight in giving her incorrect instruction only to see her fail. Of the many times he manipulated her feelings, only so he could see her lose control and shed tears.

He confessed to what he did to the hopeless orphans of the aftermath of the Fourth, how he lacked the magical strength to satiate the need of the King of Heroes. And so he made them wretches that would never be allowed to truly die.

He told her of his most recent betrayal. How he had once more taken advantage of the trust of others, in order to secure a playing piece to be discarded in the current War.

He told her of his most reverent wish, to release the curse inside of the Grail, in order to bask in the glorious agony that was sure to come after.
Once he was finally done, Kirei was not able to tell how much time had passed. It could have been a moment, or an eternity. It felt as if time itself had paused while he poured his soul out to the Servant on the other side of the screen.

She remained quiet. If protocol were to be followed, this would be the part where she would tell him of the weight of his sins, and the penance to absolve them. Her silence was truly the only proof he needed to know that there had been no hope from the start.

He stood and was about to leave the confession booth, before a very soft sound caused him to freeze in his tracks.

It was a sob. It had been quiet; the one who emitted it had done their absolute best to strangle it in their throat. But the grief they felt had been too much, and so it had escaped its confines to let the world know of their sorrow.

He should know. He had made many a man and woman cry after all.

He exited the confession booth and opened the door to the place he usually claimed as his own. The sight that greeted him caused his heart to jump in joy.

“Why do you cry, Mother? It should have been obvious from the beginning that there was no hope for an abomination such as I.” His words were spoken with conviction as ancient as iron. A simple statement of fact, as truthful and obvious as saying that water was wet.

When next the Servant spoke, her words were choked; she was barely able to push them through her grief. “My child…could you find it in you to forgive me?”

Eleven simple words that left the self-proclaimed abomination in a state that none had ever managed before.

Kotomine Kirei was speechless.

The Servant stepped out of the booth, took his head in her arms, and with surprising strength for a woman of her unimpressive stature, brought his head to her bosom.

“I…am so very…very sorry. Please…is there any way…that you could forgive me?”

Kirei attempted to gather his scattered wits. Were he in control of himself, he would be able to turn this situation around, he would use the perfect half-truths to make her misunderstand, set her up for greater heartbreak; all he needed, was the ability to recover, a Herculean task he proceeded to fail at.

“Why would the Lord Savior herself feel the need to apologize to a monster such as I?”

She rocked him back and forth, not unlike a Mother attempting to soothe her infant into sleep. “Because…my most troubled child…I have failed you. I was supposed to take your hardships from you…I was supposed to shoulder your suffering…so that you could be free of that burden…I have wronged you most grievously. Could you please forgive me?”

The third repetition of her plea…for lack of a better word, broke something in him.

“But Sacred Mother, there is nothing to forgive. For this burden is mine alone to carry.”

Yeshuah of Nazareth hugged him tighter to her breast, and cried. She cried, for although tears were hardly up to the task, there was no other way she could show her grief.

At that moment a beam of light most radiant shined on the two. Its glow was severe, but warm and comforting. It lasted but a single moment before snuffing itself out. Yet even that single moment had been enough.

Kotomine Kirei put his arms around the small woman who held him. And wept.

==================================================

Tohsaka Rin was not a happy person.

She was convinced that something as simple as failing to remember to reset her clock had caused her to fail in her attempts at obtaining the Saber card that she had hoped to draw (somewhere in the multiverse, an old vampire that loved to play pranks, inexplicably, started to laugh). Her own Servant was almost killed before the War properly began.

Her own foolish desires caused her to lose her trump card for the War.

And now the fake priest had called her, telling her that there was something of extreme importance he needed to speak with her about, yet he refused to talk of it over the phone.

She barged her way into the creepy church of the fake priest, taking a moment to notice that the normally oppressive atmosphere of the building was no more. Deciding that her mind was playing tricks on her, she resumed her way towards the priest’s quarters.

“Hey Kirei, I’m here you fake priest, what was so goddamned important that you ha-”

The sight before her left her (and an invisible entity standing beside her) speechless.

In front of her stood Kotomine Kirei, his face solemn and his step light. This much, she had expected. However the…aura…around him had changed.

He was normally a man hard to approach, yet the look on his face spoke of a previously unseen openness.

Any of these would have been enough to cause pause in any that were acquainted with the man. Yet both Master and Servant were strangely in synch in what had rendered them speechless.

The mullet…it’s gone.

Kotomine Kirei had gotten a haircut. The new militaristic short cut made him look, dare she say it, reliable.

“Ah Rin, so good of you to join me.”

Rin did not waste a moment in gathering her scattered wits, and responded in her usual perky tone. “Hmm! What do you want, you fake priest? What could possibly be important enough to make me waste my time with a trip here?”

Kirei’s face remained stoic; he slowly began to walk to a medium sized chest resting in one of the chairs.

“As you recall, I was given the position of your guardian when your father passed away-”

“A thing I have regretted my entire life.”

“And as such, the duty falls to me to return something to you that I have been safeguarding until I believed you responsible enough to take possession of it.”

Kirei opened the chest with no grandiose posing or show. Inside it were a significant amount of precious jewels. Jewels that, her experienced eye told her, would be perfect for her thaumaturgy.

“What,” was her eloquent response.

“Your father was worried that you would waste this wealth, before you learned the true value of these gems. Also, in this paper you will find some more information as to the Tohsaka assets that you are able to call upon. Worry not, all the annoying paperwork has been taken care of. As soon as you take this paper, it will all be officially yours.”

“…What.”

“I attempted to tell you this the night that you were to summon your Servant, but I am afraid you cut the line before I was able to communicate these facts to you.”

“…WHAT!”

“And now to the second order of business I called you here for. In order to celebrate this most auspicious event, I have taken the liberty of cooking a most fitting lunch. Would you care to join me?” asked Kirei in the most amicable voice imaginable.

Had Rin not been thunderstruck by a series of completely unforeseen events, she might have realized her folly. Had her mind not been busy coping with the sudden change in her financial standing, she might have scented the trap that she was walking into.

“Uhhmm…sure.” Alas, ‘twas not to be.

Only until she took the first bite of the food Kotomine Kirei had so painstakingly cooked for the celebration did she realize her mistake.

As her mouth burned from the heavy spices that were put into the food. She saw that Kirei, for the first time since she had arrived, was wearing a small satisfied smile.

==================================================

To call what they’d had a battle would have been a severe overstatement.

Kotomine Kirei lay on the ground, broken and bleeding beneath the ruby gaze of a golden clad man.

“Kotomine Kirei, I must admit to curiosity as to why you thought you could match the King of Heroes himself. I will grant you the honor of answering my query before your end. Be grateful, you treacherous Mongrel.”

Kirei had one day destroyed the operation that gave meaning to those useless things. What greater honor could there be than providing the Original Majesty with the energy he needed? Kotomine Kirei’s betrayal had been entirely unforeseen. After ten years of devoted service, to so suddenly turn and bite the hand of his Master, what could have prompted such a change? He was the King of Uruk, his query would not go unanswered.

Kotomine’s only response was to smile and chuckle darkly.

“Hooo? Do tell mongrel, what causes your mirth. It better be entertaining, or I shall take what little life you have left.”

Kirei took a moment to compose himself as much as was possible under the circumstances. And then spoke.

“King of Heroes. The reason for my mirth is that I just saw through the greatest joke that has ever been played on anyone. No prank that I myself could have tried would ever surpass the one that has been played on me. I recognized this, and laughed, for I saw the hilarity in it.”

“Hooo? I must admit at being curious. Care to share the joke, mongrel?”

“Most certainly. Never before in my life could I find happiness as a normal man. This you know, it was thanks to you that I found joy ten years ago.”

“Yes, a most entertaining mongrel you proved to be. However, I fail to find the mirth in such a story.”

“But of course, for I am not yet finished, please give me a moment.” Kirei began to cough, blood seeping from his mouth. It was truly a proof of his strength of will that a punctured lung failed to affect the tenor of his speech.

“Thirteen days ago, I found joy in the normal things. I smiled because others smiled, I felt joy when they felt joy. And when I did something good, for the sake of goodness, I felt fulfillment. The true hilarity comes from the fact that I have only just found these joys, and now I will die, before I have a chance to truly experience them.”

The King of Heroes took a moment to stare at the worthless mongrel, before he began to laugh. He was soon joined by Kotomine, and the two of them shared a laugh most hearty. Soon enough, they calmed.

“Hooo? But come, the reason for your smile is something else is it not? That is not the smile of a man bitter at the world.”

“How very perceptive of you…you are correct King of Heroes, the smile on my face is one brought by the knowledge of a job well done.”

The King of Heroes laughed; he could not help it. He broke down into hysterical laughter at the ludicrous proclamation of the man in front of him.

“What!? The smile of a job well done? Can you not see what happened here, Kirei? You attacked me, and I put you down like the rabid mongrel you are! You failed! How could you be content when you failed the task some lesser creature gave you!?”

“Aahh…you misunderstand King of Heroes, my task is not the one you believe it to be.”

The smile on the face of the Original King…impossible as it should be, widened “Hooo? Then do tell, what was your job?”

“Very well… I was not the one sent to defeat you…I was just the decoy."

At that very moment a bolt of lightning split the clear skies in twain, vaporizing the strongest Heroic Spirit and the absolved priest.

[RadiantBeam]

Oh, yes. Very lovely to see these all put into one place.

[Santo]

Oh, yes. Very lovely to see these all put into one place.

Glad ye like (n,n)

And Next!

This was a short drabble, can also be found on Aiden's drabble thread.

What if Shirou had used Tora-Shinai on his fight against Archer during UBW?

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"I understand our power Archer. I do not use weapons to fight. I create the weapons that will win!"

Archer steps back from the sudden conviction on Shirous voice. This was an unexpected turn of events. He had been sure that the kid was on his last legs. Even now his knees trembled to the point where he would collapse if he took but a step. Even so, Archer had the sudden premonition that his defeat was assured.

This would not do at all, he rushed forth, a whirlwind of steel that few could hope to match. Yet Shirou somehow managed to block every single one of his strikes "So what!? You can barely stand! I am your ideal! The very peak of what Emiya Shirou could ever hope to accomplish! How could you ever hope to defeat me while you live a burrowed life and an empty dream!?"

"I will defeat you by taking advantage of the one true weakness that any and all Emiya Shirous will ever have! The one thing that will ensure our defeat and demise!"

Archer froze at his words. It cannot be, even with the resonance effect, he cannot possibly have reached that level yet!

"Impossible! You...you will trace Saber in a lion costume and Rin in a miniskirt with Nekomimi?"

The entire room froze at his proclamation. Both Shirou and Saber were staring at him slack-yawed. After two full minutes of silence, Archer could take it no longer "Was...was that not what you were going to do?"

"Erm...no...no it was not."

"Then...what?"

"Urm...right" Shirou coughed a few times into his hand, before starting again in a tenor that was only slightly forced "The one weapon that will ensure our defeat!" Raising his arm to the heavens, a golden light flashed before a blade with no equal materialized into being in his hand.

No! Impossible! There is no way this ludicrous plan can work!

The air around Shirou shimmered, before a truly frightening mirage materialized behind him. With a shout that rumbled from deep within his chest, he made a single strike, carrying in it the ferocity of the weapon's namesake.

Archer froze like a deer in the headlights. It was a strike much too slow and clumsy to ever connect. An attack made with no power besides will. So slow that it pointed to the place it would strike like a neon sign. Yet Archer knew that his defeat was imminent. What the boy had accomplished finally showed him the truth.

Emiya Shirou could never lose to himself.

"Roar! Tora-Shinai!"

[Santo]

This here drabble was born in the Fate/Night Sky thread.

Sorta did not fit in there, but it was still an interesting thought.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It’d waited, oohh how long it had waited.

It could remember having been betrayed, it could remember offering the world to one, offering him peace. It had gifted him with the chance to make its truest wish come true.

And it had been rejected.

It remembered only one name-

MutilationRapeMurderEnslavementTortureDesacrationR apefromhateRapefromloveRapefromboredomeMutilationR ageLiesPoisoningMurderCheatingMurderStealingMurder SlanderMurder-

-Emiya…Kiritsugu.

He would pay.

It would make him pay.

It would find the traitor, it would find the one who had been offered everything, it would find the one who spat in its face.

It had waited ten long years. Trapped, unable to move, unable to-

HateMurderAbuseMurderAbandonmentMurderJealousyMurd erVindictivenessMurderIgnoranceMurderKidnappingMur derRapeMurderTheftMurderAbuseMurderRapefromloveMur derTortureMurderPrideMurderBetrayalMurder-

-breathe, unable to feel, unable to remember anything other than its-

MurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMu rderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurd erMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurder-

-betrayal.

But soon, oohhh so soon. Soon that would change, soon it would be able to move again, to feel again, to kill again.

Emiya Kiritsugu had thought it destroyed, Emiya Kiritsugu thought that the light which burned had destroyed it, he had been wrong. It matters not how much you burn it, as long as a drop remained, it would live, it would survive, it would continue, it would recover, it woul-

DieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDi eDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieD ieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDie DieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDi eDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieD ieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDie DieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDi eDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieD ieDieDie!

-d thrive.

But…no…something was wrong.

Emiya Kiritsugu was no more. It…she…it had been a she…it had been a woman…yes.

She could feel this. She still remembered cursing her betrayer; she remembered

loving

hurting

him,

crippling

loving

him, she remembered

loving

poisoning

him.

Yet she could feel that taint was active no more.

Emiya Kiritsugu was dead.

This angered her. Emiya Kiritsugu was hers! Some bitch had dared kill Emiya Kiritsugu before she had a chance to

love

kill

him!

This would not do, this would not do at all. She searched within herself, to find something anything.

And she did.

There was something ou-

DieDieDieDieDieDiedIeDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDI edIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEd IeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDie diEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDi eDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIed IEDie!

-t there.

Jealousy, regret, self-depreciation, lust, rape.

She knew this. She could work with this.

Emiya Kiritsugu was no more.

Emiya Shirou yet lived.

Emiya Shirou lived, cooked, worked, studied, loved.

Emiya Shirou loved.

Emiya Shirou loved.

EMIYA SHIROU LOVED!

Emiya Shirou would know the true meaning of

pain!

love!

Emiya Shirou did not live alone, Emiya Shirou had something with it, within him. Something which carried as much darkness as her! He would know! He would understand!

She would need to show him, she would need to meet him, she would need to

kill

love

him!

But wait…she…she had had a name…she had had a name. A form. A life.

What was her name?

She could not recall.

What was her form?

She could not recall.

Somewhere deep bellow a mountain, a viscous dark liquid began to seep out of a great construct. Drop by drop by drop by drop.

One little drop at a time.

Much time passed before a large puddle was made.

Out of the puddle, a woman with alabaster skin, hair as white as snow, and lips as red as blood stepped out. She was the very definition of beauty incarnate.

The woman smiled.

“Emiya Shirou.” She breathed in a husky tone.

[Santo]

This one was a dare from Xam.

I'm trying to load these up on the chronological order they came about. :3

Hope anyone who has not as of yet read it enjoys.

Feel free to drop a comment.

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“You know…you gave me quite the hard time, for a mere human.” Said the thing which used to be a man as it straddled the waist of one Shirou Emiya as the latter lay on an expanding pool of his own blood.

‘Used to be’ was the best description for what remained of it, for it could no longer receive the title of ‘humanoid’.

“At first I thought I had caught me a little itsy bitsy mouse. Imagine my surprise when I learned this mouse had teeth.” Continued the Dead Apostle as it almost lovingly caressed Shirou’s face with its one remaining hand.

Anyone that looked upon it would wonder how such a thing could even achieve locomotion. One of its arms ended into a broken and burnt stump right above where its elbow would be, a jagged bone sticking out of the lump of carbon that used to be its limb.

“You have no idea how hard it is,” Said the thing as its hand trailed down the concussed young man’s check. “Not to simply rip into your scrawny little neck aND DEVOUR YOU WHOLE!” Its sentence ended in a ravenous scream as its hand encircled the red-heads neck and gripped with enough strength to almost crush his windpipe.

It only had one leg, the other having been cut off at the hip, the placed it had connected to nothing more than mulched meat. Fist sized holes pockmarked its entire torso, giving one glimpses of the long dead organs contained within.

“Oh ohhhohohoho forgive me, my temper escapes me sometimes.” Said the creature after a delicate cough, easing his grip on its prey’s neck, allowing it to cough as he gulped down the oh so precious air.

It was a miracle that it could even form human speech, a good bit of its face had been obliterated by a great projectile. Leaving it without a nose, depraving it of an eye, yet leaving its mouth completely intact.

“You know little creature, you are not so bad on the eyes.” Sad the Dead Apostle as it inched closer to the neck of the bleeding young man. “You might make a good slave, you have killed all the ones I kept around with me, I will obviously need new ones.” At this point the half of its face that remained broke into a maniac grin, its crimson eye shining with a cruel light. “And that magecraft of yours! Ohh my! Will I have much fun cutting you apart night after night after night, never allowing you the pleasure of death.”

Shirou Emiya attempted to focus, to bring a weapon into his waiting palms, to do anything. But thinking in and of itself was an achievement to his pain addled mind. He could barely stay conscious, much less achieve the necessary focus to use his magecraft.

As the Dead Apostle’s serrated maw inched closer and closer to his flesh, Shirou hardened his heart.

He knew he was going to die.

He would take the bastard to hell with him.

The hammer on the back his mind fell, announcing the call to manufacture and demanding more work from his tortured circuits, further draining his already depleted life-force.

As he tried to bring forth a weapon, any weapon that would allow him to end the creature in front of him, a searing heat crashed into his brain, causing him an agony he had only known once before in his life.

The world went blessedly dark a moment later.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Shirou walked through a forest, the foliage so thick it sometimes felt he was forcing his way forward through a chain link fence. In front of him was a radiant white light, ever so distant as he strode towards it tirelessly.

Without a warning the foliage was simply not there. No longer having the obstruction against which he fought he lost his balance, stumbling forward and falling face first onto the green grass. Grass softer than a down feather mattress cushioning his fall. The bright sun caressing him with a warm loving hand as he took in the scent of clean grass, a great exhaustion crashing into him as a feeling of sweet release engulfed him.

It was as if a mountain had been lifted from his shoulders. A weight that had accumulated little by little, one grain of sand at time, until it became a mass so great and terrible that it had threatened to crush him. The change having been so slow and gradual that he had never even noticed that he was carrying such a burden.

Yet Shirou knew he could not rest yet. He needed to stand, he needed to walk, he had to stride forward. For the longest time that is all he had done, stride forward like a machine, seeking to find something that he had long lost. To find the one for whom he was made, the one who filled him, completed him.

He forced himself to his knees, and looked up. The sight in front of him so radiant as to blind him to all else.

The weariness that had assaulted him forgotten, Shirou sprang to his feet and sprinted to the figure, able only to see her smile, her delicate outline framed against the warm sun at her back.

A strange sound resounding from his throat, a sound he had not made in years.

Laughter.

Shirou was laughing as he ran forward with tears falling down his cheeks.

He was upon her in seconds, engulfing her in a loving embrace as he twirled her around. The musical chimes of her voice joining his in joyous celebration.

Shirou was surrounded by an ethereal beauty mankind was never supposed to see. The realm of the fairies, its smallest glimpse able to drive a man insane in his pursuit of gaining entry.

Its splendor paled when compared with the stunning girl he held in his arms.

The lavender scent, the warmth of her skin, the soft arms encircling his shoulders as he partook of her honeyed lips, his mouth filling with her taste. His senses overloading as he became drunk from her.

His beautiful Saber was once more in his arms. Nothing else mattered.

He slowly fell to his knees, his face buried in her belly as he wept from the powerful emotions running rampant within him.

The girl traced her hands through his hair, the sensation sending shivers down his spine. She parted her lips and said only three words.

“Not yet Shirou.”

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The world snapped into focus as Shirou drove his left hand forward, crushing the creature’s neck on his steel grip.

The Dead Apostle went berserk, being so close to a meal yet denied the sweet blood that was his by right. There was a flash of light that caused the creature to still, fear radiating out of its one remaining eye.

Clutched in Shirou’s right hand was a weapon with few peers.

A weapon whose mere presence brought memories both sweet and sad.

A weapon he long forgot how to trace.

Caliburn the Sword of Assured Victory.

With a roar of primal rage, Shirou drove the weapon into the creature’s chest to the hilt, impaling the heart which no longer beat. Running on little more than adrenaline, Shirou stood and ran forward, impaling the creature against a broken pillar. He then flooded the construct with his Od, filling it with more energy than even its mystic frame could hold.

Luminous cracks blossomed across the sword, rapidly pulsing at a frantic tempo that perfectly matched Shirou’s straining heart.

Shirou immediately released his death grip on the hilt and ran for cover, the Dead Apostle’s frantic screams and terrified insults following as he dived over a broken wall. An enormous explosion washed over him a moment later, blasting away his meager cover and sending the young man tumbling across the floor.

Too exhausted to move, Shirou simply lay where he fell and looked at the beautiful full moon as chunks of mortar, metal, and a few pieces of flesh fell all around him.

He lay there, basking in the knowledge that with the Dead Apostle’s death, not a single person from the nearby village would again be abducted and killed. They would once again be able to smile and live their lives without fear of disappearing in the middle of the night.

And he could only feel bitter resentment as he recalled the scent of lavender and…her.

Resentment that his duty was thrust back at him. Resentment that the mountain was placed once more on his shoulders after it had been lifted. Hatred that the cruel fates would keep him from his beloved even after all this time.

A moment later he began to laugh. The fact that his laughter was not bitter or cynical came as a complete surprise.

He laughed as he recalled the warmth of her skin, the taste of her lips, the sound of her voice.

His exhausted body screamed at him as he pushed himself to his feet and began to stride forward, leaving the ruined and smoking castle behind.
She still waited for him.

He still searched for her.

[mangafreak7793]

I remember this snippet, it was a nice snippet.

[YeOfLittleFaith]

Hell, it's about time you had your own snip and drabble thread Santo, what with all the hijacking contributions you do around here. :>

Subscribed with the fury of a million supernovas!

[blitz1/2]

This here drabble was born in the Fate/Night Sky thread.

Sorta did not fit in there, but it was still an interesting thought.

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It’d waited, oohh how long it had waited.

It could remember having been betrayed, it could remember offering the world to one, offering him peace. It had gifted him with the chance to make its truest wish come true.

And it had been rejected.

It remembered only one name-

.....

To be honest, is this Grail Irisviel?

[Santo]

I remember this snippet, it was a nice snippet.

Yay comment! (。⌒∇⌒)。

Hell, it's about time you had your own snip and drabble thread Santo, what with all the hijacking contributions you do around here. :>

Subscribed with the fury of a million supernovas!

I held out as long as I could (TTwTT)

Alas I could not turn away convenience.

To be honest, is this Grail Irisviel?

Yep!

[Sage of Eyes]

This here drabble was born in the Fate/Night Sky thread.

Sorta did not fit in there, but it was still an interesting thought.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It’d waited, oohh how long it had waited.

It could remember having been betrayed, it could remember offering the world to one, offering him peace. It had gifted him with the chance to make its truest wish come true.

And it had been rejected.

It remembered only one name-

MutilationRapeMurderEnslavementTortureDesacrationR apefromhateRapefromloveRapefromboredomeMutilationR ageLiesPoisoningMurderCheatingMurderStealingMurder SlanderMurder-

-Emiya…Kiritsugu.

He would pay.

It would make him pay.

It would find the traitor, it would find the one who had been offered everything, it would find the one who spat in its face.

It had waited ten long years. Trapped, unable to move, unable to-

HateMurderAbuseMurderAbandonmentMurderJealousyMurd erVindictivenessMurderIgnoranceMurderKidnappingMur derRapeMurderTheftMurderAbuseMurderRapefromloveMur derTortureMurderPrideMurderBetrayalMurder-

-breathe, unable to feel, unable to remember anything other than its-

MurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMu rderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurd erMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurderMurder-

-betrayal.

But soon, oohhh so soon. Soon that would change, soon it would be able to move again, to feel again, to kill again.

Emiya Kiritsugu had thought it destroyed, Emiya Kiritsugu thought that the light which burned had destroyed it, he had been wrong. It matters not how much you burn it, as long as a drop remained, it would live, it would survive, it would continue, it would recover, it woul-

DieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDi eDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieD ieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDie DieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDi eDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieD ieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDie DieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDi eDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieDieD ieDieDie!

-d thrive.

But…no…something was wrong.

Emiya Kiritsugu was no more. It…she…it had been a she…it had been a woman…yes.

She could feel this. She still remembered cursing her betrayer; she remembered

loving

hurting

him,

crippling

loving

him, she remembered

loving

poisoning

him.

Yet she could feel that taint was active no more.

Emiya Kiritsugu was dead.

This angered her. Emiya Kiritsugu was hers! Some bitch had dared kill Emiya Kiritsugu before she had a chance to

love

kill

him!

This would not do, this would not do at all. She searched within herself, to find something anything.

And she did.

There was something ou-

DieDieDieDieDieDiedIeDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDI edIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEd IeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDie diEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDi eDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIedIEDieDiediEdIeDIed IEDie!

-t there.

Jealousy, regret, self-depreciation, lust, rape.

She knew this. She could work with this.

Emiya Kiritsugu was no more.

Emiya Shirou yet lived.

Emiya Shirou lived, cooked, worked, studied, loved.

Emiya Shirou loved.

Emiya Shirou loved.

EMIYA SHIROU LOVED!

Emiya Shirou would know the true meaning of

pain!

love!

Emiya Shirou did not live alone, Emiya Shirou had something with it, within him. Something which carried as much darkness as her! He would know! He would understand!

She would need to show him, she would need to meet him, she would need to

kill

love

him!

But wait…she…she had had a name…she had had a name. A form. A life.

What was her name?

She could not recall.

What was her form?

She could not recall.

Somewhere deep bellow a mountain, a viscous dark liquid began to seep out of a great construct. Drop by drop by drop by drop.

One little drop at a time.

Much time passed before a large puddle was made.

Out of the puddle, a woman with alabaster skin, hair as white as snow, and lips as red as blood stepped out. She was the very definition of beauty incarnate.

The woman smiled.

“Emiya Shirou.” She breathed in a husky tone.

Intersting but who is it.

[Santo]

Intersting but who is it.

Grail Irisviel :3

[Santo]

And on to the next one!

This one was conceived in Hero Slayer's Maho Senki Lirical Days.

In it, Shirou takes Reinforce Zwei out for ice cream.

Then stuff happens.

It is a total of three snippets, maybe a fourth incoming.

I'll post em three separately cause the smallest is 1300+ words.

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“How much longer do we need to wait Shiroooouuu?” Said Rein Zwei from her perch atop her favorite mode of transportation.

“Pretty much the same as the last time you asked Rein.” Responded Shirou Emiya with a patient sigh.

“Which one are you getting?” Continued the energetic Reinforce as if her mode of transportation had not spoken.

“I’m getting one?”

“Well of course silly! That way I can taste two different ice creams for the price of one!”

“Ahh, your wile is truly boundless Reinforce-sama.” Deadpanned the faker.

“And don’t you forget it~!”

One might wonder how this unlikely duo came to be out in the middle of a hot day in Mid-Childa, standing in a line waiting to get ice-cream.

Well, there would be a very simple and logical explanation for that.

Mornings in the Yagami household were not exactly peaceful.

Shirou Emiya had decided to drop by the house of his dear friend Hayate Yagami, he had heard that she had been having a tad bit of a hard time at work recently, and thought that he would drop by on his day off and hang out for a little while.

When he arrived he was greeted by Zafira, the stern Guardian Beast keeping watch while the rest of his family rested.

He had happily begun to prepare breakfast, making sure to prepare a hefty portion in order to satisfy the black hole that was known as Vita’s stomach.

He loved cooking for that girl, but he would never admit it out loud, not even under pain of death. If he did, he was afraid that the small redhead would never let him hear the end of it.

Or he would get blasted.

Or electrocuted.

Or Starlight Breakered.

…

Moving on.

Breakfast preparations had gone without even the slightest hitch.

Which is why he was rather flabbergasted over how things had turned out this way.

“Get back here you minx!”

“You’ll never take me alive!”

“Ark! My Miso Soup!”

“Viiiitaa~! Onee-chan has something she wants you to put on!”

“STAY AWAY FROM ME HAYATE!”

“Settle down already!”

“Yoink!”

“HEY! That’s my fish!”

As he dodged scraps of flying debris, Shirou wondered if it was possible that he would die of a stress induced heart attack at his tender age of nineteen years.

Reinforce Zwei had decided to sit contentedly besides the redhead. Always glad to be part of the small aura of calm the young Emiya projected.

“Hey! Give me my rice back!”

“Too late Vita!”

“DON’T YOU DARE EAT THAT FISH!”

Correction, Reinforce Zwei very much treasured the calm the young faker projected around himself.

The fact that he was thoughtful enough to swat flying debris away before it hit her was just a bonus.

The two sitting in the eye of the storm were finished long before the other chaotic members of the Yagami household. In point of fact, due to their struggle they were not even a third of the way through breakfast.

As the debris that Shirou had to continually beat aside to protect Reinforce intensified, she began to slowly crawl up his back, over his shoulder and unto the top of his head, once she reached her lofty perch she settled down with a contented sigh.

“Thanks for the food Shirou.” Said the Device with a big smile on her face.

“Anytime.” Answered Shirou as he brought up a cup of tea so small he could lift it with two fingers, and held it to the crown of his head, Rein wordlessly took it, then waited for Shirou to pick up his own.

As one they drank from their respective cups and let out a contented sigh, Shirou off-handedly smacking a flying plate out of the way before it hit them.

“So Rein, how’re you holding up?” Asked the young man.

“Ahh, well you know, work is a little boring, a tad stressing too. But nothing I can’t handle.” Answered the tiny device.

“No! I will not give you the last piece of meat Zafira!”

“You already ate four!”

“I still have room for one more!”

“Yoink!”

“SIGNUM! What are you doing!?”
“SIGNUM! How could you!?”

“If you look away for a moment in battle you will lose!”

“Give it back!”

Shirou and Reinforce finished their tea at the same time, and the device magnanimously allowed Shirou to clean up after the two of them.

“Ne ne Shirou!” said Reinforce as her mode of transportation finished cleaning his and her own dishes. “Let’s go out for a walk!”

“Ooh?” Answered the young man. “Where do you wanna go? Amusement park? Shopping mall?”

“Let’s go to the park!” Reinforce punctuated her command by grabbing tiny fistfuls of his spiky hair and pulling on them as if to steer her steed in the correct direction.

Having long acclimatized to the small girl’s antics, Shirou simply removed his apron with a sigh and went to put on his shoes. “However you say m’lady.” Answered the young man as he dodged a redheaded rocket that proceeded to run around the living room while chased by Signum.

Shirou left a note on the table explaining where he was going to take the blue haired device.

“We’re going.” The duo called out the customary phrase to say they were leaving, their soft spoken words much too weak to be heard over the din of battle that dominated the Yagami household.

And so, the duo left the chaotic Yagami household and proceeded to have some fun, walking around the park, window-shopping at a mall, and overall just having fun.

And now they were in line to get ice-cream.

“Ok Rein we’re up next, have you picked yet?”

“Haaai! I’ll take the Divine Chocolate Buster, and you’ll have the Dual-Bladed Banana Overhedge!”

“I don’t get to pick for myself now?”

“Nope!”

“Understood master.”

“And don’t you forget it!”

Shortly after they, in the words of the blue haired device ‘reacquired the loot from the evil pirates’ Shirou looked for a table upon which to sit. He then set down the ice cream on the table and gently lifted the palm sized device off his head.

“Heeey! I wanna eat up here!” said the device as she weakly trashed in Shirou’s grip.

“With how much of a messy eater you are? Not happening.”

“Buuuuuut!” Answered the small girl as she attacked Shirou with a deadly combination of an adorable pout and puppy dog eyes.

Shirou's will however, was unbreakable. “But me no buts, now be a good girl and enjoy your ice-cream before it melts.”

“Haaaaai.”

She quickly changed size and ended up looking something more akin to a nine year old girl, and then began to attack her ice-cream with the table manners of a ravenous wolf.

As the two of them sat there, Shirou off-handedly cleaning any stray bits of ice-cream the small girl managed to smudge all over her face. They drew attention from all the relatively young mothers who were accompanying their children in the ice-cream parlor.

“Oh my! What a cute little girl he has!”

“How old do you think he is? Can’t be far from his early twenties.”

“How scandalous! So young and already taking care of a child.”

“They look kinda cute together.”

“Makes you want to snap them up doesn’t it?”

“Hoho! You are married Cecilia what are you saying!”

“Raawrg~! Is exactly what I am saying.”

Shirou could not help but blush at what he could not help but overhear.

Fortunately for him, he had developed the ability to ignore reality and substitute his own, it was a survival tactic he was well practiced in.

“Shirooouu~ Say aaaaah.” Commanded Reinforce Zwei as she held her spoon up for the redhead to taste her ice-cream.

Shirou’s blush returned a little more strongly, causing all post-puberty females present to swoon.

“I…I umm…” Said Shirou as he tried to find a way around this deadly predicament. “Aaahhhhmm.” Shirou Emiya was not as strong willed as he liked to believe himself to be.

Across town. Hayate Yagami stood up from what work she had been doing and stared in the exact direction of the Ice Cream Parlor.

“What’s wrong Hayate?” Asked Shamal? “Something bothering you?”

Hayate remained quiet for a few moments, then spoke, her words slow, measured, and heavy.

“I feel a disturbance in The Force.”

[Keyne]

Grail Irisviel :3

Grailisviel.

[Santo]

Grailisviel.

*c*<(She prefers Angri)

[Santo]

Now that I think of it I could probably have found the link to these snippets somewhere in Hero's thread...

...

Meh.

Shirou takes Rein out for icecream II :3

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“Forward! To freedom! To glory! To the movies! It is not retreat men! We are advancing in the other direction!” Roared Reinforce Zwei as she strategically retreated, her trusty steed striding away from the enemy lines in his attempt to deliver his master to safety.

Shirou Emiya sighed at her antics and attempted to get the color of his face under control. The things young wives would say in an ice cream parlor had proven to be too much for the young man. He had ended up giving his small companion half of his ice cream in order to retire from that cougar den with all possible haste.

“So Reinforce, where do you want to go now?” Asked Shirou with relief.

“A love hotel!” Screamed the small device, causing her steed to trip over his feet and for many a by-stander to turn and stare.

“W-W-What!” Said Shirou, such was his surprise he forgot to add a querying infliction to his voice.

“I heard Hayate say that she wanted you to take her there!” Answered Zwei with childish innocence. “She looked so enthusiastic too! It must be a very fun place to go to!” Finished the small device with the conviction only the innocent were capable of having.

Shirou began to plan a lecture for Hayate Yagami, a very long lecture, a lecture of such intensity she would rue the day her father kissed her mother for the first time!

“T-That is not possible right now Rein.” Said Shirou even as he planned for dark things that would give Hayate Yagami nightmares for years to come. “I’ll…explain why when you are a little older.”

“Whaaat? But I wanna go noooow!” Said the small girl with a pout.

Shirou did the only thing he could in the face of such an attack.

He cheated.

“Or we could go to that pet shop and you could look at the puppies.”

Reinforce Zwei froze. Then, with glacial slowness, she jumped off the front of her lofty perch, causing her steed to hurry to catch her, then, when she could see him in the eye, she said. “Puppies?”

The joy radiating from her features was almost enough to blind the poor Emiya. “Y-Yes. Puppies, adorable little puppies, you can take as long as you want.”

She immediately shot forward and attempted to wrap her arms around the young Emiya’s neck, cutting off circulation to his brain. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Said the girl near tears.

“Urk! Mrminghlw! Gehhat!” Was Shirou’s brilliant commentary.

Failing to notice her transportation’s troubles, she scrambled over his face and once more sat at the crown of his head, “Forward!” Was her stern command, her serious façade completely ruined by the radiant smile on her face.

Rubbing his neck, Shirou Emiya began to search for the nearest pet shop.

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“Hayate…what are we doing and why are we dressed like this?” Asked Zafira, who was dressed in a brown trench coat and a deerstalker cap, a pair of sunglasses finishing off his ‘disguise’ making him so conspicuous that many people stopped to stare.

“Because this is serious!” Answered the Mistress of the Tome of the Night Sky, dressed much like her guardian beast. “I felt a disturbance in The Force! Someone was trying to conquer my Shirou! This cannot be allowed!”

“Sense when is he yours though?” Murmured the guardian beast.

“Hush Zafira!” Said Vita, “This is serious! If Rein is the one that finally gets him I won’t be able to tease her anymore! She could convince him to stop making me food! Can you imagine how terrible that would be?” Finished the redheaded spitfire with despair in her voice, never once considering that her reasons were less than fair. “This is a pairing that must not be! I do not know what flags she has set off already, but we must keep his affection score from increasing anymore!”

Zafira was speechless for a few moments before making his answer. “W-What?” unfortunately for him, his OS was not capable of processing idiocy that could shatter the 4^th wall.

“They’re moving!” Came Hayate’s harsh stage-whisper.

The Knight of the Iron Hammer and her Mistress both ‘skulked’ to their next hiding spot, drawing the stares of everyone who saw them. Zafira sighed and openly walked across the street to follow them, drawing far less stares.

He tried to remember why he was the only one who got dragged into this. And so tilted his head and brought up the specific circumstances.

*Thought bubble thought bubble thought bubble thought bubble*

“Hm?” Said Signum.

“I said my Shirou senses are tingling! Someone is trying to seduce him! I can feel it!” Repeated the distraught Hayate.

Signum stared at her mistress for a long, hard moment. “I…need to go train.” She said, before fleeing exiting through the window and flying away at near supersonic speeds.

“Tch! She escaped.”Said Hayate. “Shammal!”

“She went shopping!” Called Zafira from the other room.

“Dammit.” Said Hayate while biting on her thumbnail.

“HAYATE!!” Screamed Vita. “Something terrible has happened!”

“What is it!”

“Shirou took Rein out for a walk!” Answered Vita solemnly.

Hayate remained quiet for several moments. “And…how is that bad?”

“Do you not understand Hayate!” Screamed Vita, pushing her mistress against the wall. “He went out with Rein! And knowing him he will buy her treats! And lunch! And a gift!” Insisted the Knight, pushing her face closer to her Mistress’ with each exclamation.

“Do you not understand Hayate! They went on a date!”

The five words caused Hayate to freeze. She did not want to believe it, but she could not deny them either. Her device was trying to steal her man.

“This…must not…be allowed.” Said the Mistress of the Tome of the Night Sky. “ZAFIRA! VITA! Transform and rollout!”

*Wavy screen wavy screen wavy screen*

Zafira sighed, then twitched and sniffed the air.

“Hayate.” Said the Guardian Beast.

“Not now Zafira!” Said his Mistress as she wiped blood from her nose. “He is holding a tissue up for her to blow her nose!”

Zafira blinked, then opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, then closed it once more, then blinked a second time. “How is that important?” He asked succinctly.

“Because it is so incredibly MOE!” Answered Hayate.

Vita could not allow these proceedings to continue. “Dammit Hayate! Focus!”

“B-But Vitaaaaa~” Wined the walking Lost Logia. “They look so adorable~”

“That does not matter right now! We need to break that up!”

“B-But they look like father and daughter! Kyyaaaa~!”

Vita’s eyes widened, then she held her head in despair. “Oh God…she is a lost cause, she’s been indoctrinated! Zafira! Our Mistress is no more, we must carry on her will! We must separate Shirou and Zwei!”

Zafira had planted his face on his palms the moment the conversation started, when he spoke his voice was muffled as he did not remove his face from his hands.

“Just wanted to let you know it’s about to rain.” No sooner had the Guardian beast finished speaking, that the sky seemed to fall on them, the rain so heavy that they could not see more than a few feet in front of each other.

“Good thing I dressed us up in trench coats hu?” Asked Hayate with a big grin on her face.

“Idiot! They don’t have trench coats! Not even an umbrella!” Said Vita.

“So?” Asked Hayate.

“So they are going to go to the nearest place they can have shelter!” Screamed the Knight of the Hammer to be heard over the deluge.

“So what!?” Yelled Hayate by necessity.

“The nearest place is Shirou’s apartment!”

Vita’s observation made Hayate freeze.

“Oh no!”