In my defense, there is no canon personality for Jeanne anyways, and I therefore claim that this is a totally legitimate interpretation in any case.
In my defense, there is no canon personality for Jeanne anyways, and I therefore claim that this is a totally legitimate interpretation in any case.
Perhaps, but I dunno. You imply there was a change in her personality, and we don't see much of it beyond that. That is like so much backstory potential right there.
I mean, it works for the one-shot, it just nags at me and decreased my enjoyment of it overall.
Oh! No, well, Leo could maybe answer better (come on, you bastard) but I guess you could say the main thing with it is that Jeanne inherently isn't the pure pure girl she's supposed to be. I think she outright states that in the text, actually. That's literally it; no real backstory or character growth, just Jeanne herself hiding her desires while she was alive. Maybe kinda like how we know King Arthur as a man, but she's really a woman in canon, and so on, except this is with more hot sex.
No backstory change; she just "is" the sexy Jeanne. Lancer kinda shows that in his perceptions vs. how Jeanne's thinking. Remember, that the story is told from the first person perspective of two fallible characters.
Last edited by Five_X; September 8th, 2012 at 02:55 PM.
<NEW FIC!> Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
This was great. Really. You guys should do this more.
<NEW FIC!> Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
For now.
You do raise a good point, but like Leo said, Jeanne doesn't really have a canon personality. Besides being so noble that she smiles as she burns to death.Silliness aside, I think I now know what bothers me about this piece.
I mean, on its own, it's a very lovely little thing. Like Hymn said, it's an extremely well written lemon and probably one of the best I've seen that involves Lancer, and it's always nice to see the guy get lucky every now and again when the 'verse seems so keen on kicking him. And, I mean, I liked how Jeanne was characterized. It was different, but interesting.
But that's the thing, too. It's like, you've implied that Jeanne went through this major change or growth in character in the story itself, and you give very little reason beyond "lol school". Which, I mean, works, and I know this was only written as a one-shot. But it feels like you basically crammed in a whole back story/skimmed over a whole back story for Jeanne to justify her behavior in the one-shot.
.... I guess what I mean is, um, more build-up and justification for the shift in Jeanne's character would have been enjoyable. It's a bit jarring to see her as a playful flirt and not understand why beyond the basic description.
If I have any complaints about the school issue, it's that it wasn't specific enough. Japanese school inspires lechery? A few mentions of giggling teenage girls, introducing Jeanne to the giant world of pornography, or Jeanne learning about the schoolgirl fetish a deliberately playing it up to tease Lancer and test his self-control.
Originally Posted by Hymn of RagnarokOriginally Posted by RadiantBeamThat's all, folks!
Annnnnnnd sniped.
I did get that Jeanne was not a pure Holy Virgin, you say it outright. The school is blamed though, and I kinda feel like some explanation for Jeanne playing up her sex appeal would help.
Originally Posted by Hymn of RagnarokOriginally Posted by RadiantBeamThat's all, folks!
Actually, I was talking to Leo about how I kinda wanted to make this into a short series-ish kinda thing, centred on Jeanne entering school and being the lady at the church and then fucking Lancer's brains out as in the above lemon. It'd probably be made mostly up of random daily life snippets, rather than an ongoing set of chapters. Could make it easier that way, so I wouldn't have to split off my focus too much from MPII.
Doing that, of course, could explain more of Jeanne's personality and her relationships with regular characters... and also allow for more Lancer action.
<NEW FIC!> Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
Hmm...suggestion! Gilgamesh is looking forward to meeting and corrupting the Holy Virgin, much like he desires to break in Saber, only to find out that Jeanne's already corrupt. Cheated on his enjoyment, he leaves in a huff.
Thus Jeanne is tolerated by Gilgamesh without him trying to make her his. Because I'd like these slice-of-life snippets.
Originally Posted by Hymn of RagnarokOriginally Posted by RadiantBeamThat's all, folks!
The question is, is this canon Gil or Fem!Gil.
Canon Gil. Fem!Gil would probably try to find out if she can get Jeanne to forsake God and worship Fem!Gil instead. Manipulation, Fem!Gil loves it. Not that the two wouldn't be hot.
Plus, better to limit the changes so people don't ask as many questions about the War.
Originally Posted by Hymn of RagnarokOriginally Posted by RadiantBeamThat's all, folks!