Tohsaka Online (FSN + SAO crossover) BETA thread

[nununu]

For some reason, reading this feels tedious.

[chronodekar]

For some reason, reading this feels tedious.

I blame the way copy-paste butchered my formatting. It's also up on fanfiction (dot) net, if you find it easier to read there. Links on first post.

-chronodekar

[nununu]

I meant the narrative, not formatting. Matter of taste, I guess.

[chronodekar]

I meant the narrative, not formatting. Matter of taste, I guess.

Till what point did you read then, before you stopped? Hopefully, it will give me some clues.

-chronodekar

[nununu]

I mostly just glossed over the entire divorce quest. Read just a bit of the part with the shout-outs and Taiga and Issei. The story felt more like early episodes of .hack than SAO.

[chronodekar]

Thanks for the reply nununu. I'll keep that in mind, but as far as SAO goes, I'm not trying to copy or repeat the light novels here. Frankly, that would be boring and I'd rather try telling a different story. It's understandable, that not everyone will like it, but for those who do, I hope it will be entertaining.

My beta was giving me flack about how the fight scenes were done. I can't help but agree. Fighting (and to a lesser extent action) is not my strong point. If anything, adventure, humor, drama and slice-of-life are the kind of things I'm most comfortable writing.

Right now, I'm looking around for some stories which have good fight scenes. May as well try and improve my own skill-set.

-chronodekar

[Bloble]

I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but the entire chapter reads like an anime episode. It feels like it would be awesome animated.