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Thread: Largo as Rider [Megatokyo / FSN oneshot]

  1. #1

    Largo as Rider [Megatokyo / FSN oneshot]

    Great Servant Largo

    A young man stood at the other end of the warehouse yard. His headband barely kept a spiky mop of red hair in line. He wore a billowing leather trenchcoat. And a cape. And a breastplate. Gilgamesh also thought he’d spotted the collar of a Hawaiian shirt underneath the coat. In this context, the boy’s monocle almost seemed an afterthought; a final footnote of weirdness for a servant whose grip on reality – even accounting for the brevity of their past encounter – had always seemed rather tenuous. And while Gilgamesh wasn’t quite sure what a “hax final boss” was supposed to be, he suspected that the label was derogatory.

    But Rider was here.

    Gilgamesh’s hands clenched in his golden gauntlets. Finally.

    “Ah, Rider,” Gilgamesh said. “So you made it to the final three, eh? My successors must have been pathetic indeed to lose against a boy who hides in imaginary worlds. But then, one would expect decay from a world no longer under my rule.”

    Rider glared. That anomalous monocle glinted. His voice boomed across the battlefield.

    "Video games are a conduit for the soul!” he said. “They expand our lives! Channel our imagination! Test our skillz! Games exist as a channel for the boundless energy of people all over the world! It is a medium you are incapable of understanding! Also, Ilya offered me b33r if I beat you.”

    Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. The air shimmered behind him. A golden field appeared. Maces, swords, axes and billhooks wrought of wondrous materials poked through it like blades of grass.

    “I have no need to understand the weakness that tempts you out of the real world, mongrel…though I suppose your quest for beer is more comprehensible.”

    “B33r,” the young man said.

    “What?”

    “B33r. With two letter 3’s.”

    Gilgamesh scowled.

    “What?!” he said. “How does that even--How did you—“

    Rider raised his hand to the heavens. Arcs of crimson lightning crackled down the length of his body. The clouds of the Fuyuki night sky rumbled, spinning in an otherworldly maelstrom of red fog. A void appeared at their center. It spread.

    Ph34r with gr34t ph33r.”

    Rider’s Aria plunged Gilgamesh into a sprawling cityscape of concrete and neon. The memories he’d received for Heaven’s Feel told him that this was Tokyo. But…not.

    A reality marble.

    An army stood in front of him. It was an eclectic lot. Worm-eaten animated corpses in red berets moaned in its front ranks. Mechanical bipeds marked with police symbols leveled automatic cannons in his direction. They gave a hydraulic whirr as they stepped forward. Gem-encrusted girls in miniskirts and pigtails flitted through the air like pixies. And at their head was Rider himself, standing on a multi-story, rotting, lizardy critter with a pink bow on its head.

    Rider raised his sword.

    “Mess up his systemz!”

    A roar came from the assembled mob, and it surged forward. The reanimated dead squelched as they raced across the tarmac. Police sirens screamed on the automatons. Bolts of pink, heart-shaped energy streamed from the flying girls. The blasts threw up plumes of cement dust and shrapnel all around the Golden King.

    Gilgamesh only smirked, and pulled out his trump card. Crisscrossing red lines glowed across the black blade of the Enuma Elish. The otherworldly Noble Phantasm thrummed with power.

    It fired.

    All around him, Gilgamesh watched as the most elaborate Reality Marble he’d ever seen dissolved. Pieces of the sky fell, or were rotted away. Skyscrapers sank into the ground. Chasms appeared in the streets, consuming automatons and walking dead alike. Screeches. Bleeps. Moans.

    Finally, Gilgamesh stood in the warehouse lot again. Rider loomed over him. The irritating Servant stood on that dragon-looking thing’s head. Pistols brandished. Smile in place.

    Rider charged. Thousands of tons of reptilian malevolence hurtled forward with the speed and force of a bullet train.

    Gilgamesh snapped his fingers.

    Noble Phantasm upon Noble Phantasm rained down on Rider’s mount. Axes tore gashes in its stomach. A war flail blasted off one of its vestigial arms, spraying the creature with gore. The lizard slowed. By the time it came within a hundred meters, it looked like a lizard-shaped block of Swiss cheese used as a pincushion.

    It reeled. The eyes went dim. With a final roar, it shuddered and crashed to earth with a massive THUMP. The sound of its fall echoed through the lot.

    Rider rolled free. He was already firing both pistols.

    Gilgamesh frowned. The mongrel just couldn’t die easily, could he? Rider was elusive, too – he zigzagged and darted behind cover even as he moved forward. The Golden King kept firing as well. His Noble Phantasms laid down a firestorm. Sooner or later, one of those explosions would find its mark.

    Rider, of course, had other ideas.

    BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM—ting-ting-ting-ting-ting-ting!


    Gilgamesh growled. He’d had to throw an armored forearm over his face to deflect Rider’s counterfire. It interfered with his aim. His Noble Phantasms went wide. Every deserted building within a thousand foot radius dissolved into ash and rubble.

    Click.


    Click.


    Gilgamesh grinned. He uncovered his face and prepared to unleash another barra—

    “Ow!”

    Oh. That wasn’t…Rider must have thrown his empty pistol at Gilgamesh’s fac—

    “Ooooow!”

    Two
    empty pistols. Well, at least—

    “AAAAGH!”

    …and an aluminum baseball bat.

    A trickle of blood ran down Gilgamesh’s nose. He held his hand up to it, and—

    Yes.

    Broken.

    The Golden King shook so hard that he seemed to be vibrating. He screamed, and summoned two swords from the Gate. He didn’t care which. Really, he didn’t. One of them looked sort of cold and icy, judging from the condensed fog. The other burned white-hot. If he’d been in a better mood, he probably could have told you what they were.

    “YOU! BROKE! BY! DOZE! BONGREL!”

    Rider drew his own sword. It was absurdly large, even for a two-handed weapon.

    “PREP4R3 FOR PANTLESS NINJ4 FURY!!!!”

    Without consciously meaning to, Gilgamesh stopped moving for a split-second and furrowed his brow. A mind that should have been concentrating on Rider’s angle of attack instead noted with some confusion that Rider was, in fact, actually wearing pants. The pause was almost too long.

    Almost.

    Gilgamesh threw the fire sword upward. Sparks shot off in all directions, singeing his cheeks. One of them burned a thin path through Rider’s disturbingly vertical hair.

    Immediately, the Golden King swiped his ice blade across Rider’s chest. He was rewarded by a hiss of pain. And blood. Lots of blood.

    But then, Rider’s wrist twisted. The motion sent Gil’s sword spinning into the air. It also sent Rider’s blade deep into Gil’s body. The golden armor folded.

    “AAAAGH!”

    The scream was mutual. But then, Gilgamesh could think pretty well through waves of pain. Always had.

    The Chains of Heaven shot through the Gate. They wrapped around Rider’s legs, sending him sprawling onto the ground. His sword clattered as it fell.

    Gilgamesh half-ran, half-limped over. He kicked Rider’s sword away, and then drove his own weapon into his fallen opponent’s chest.

    Rider’s shout of pain was loud and delectable. Gilgamesh drank it like wine. Such was the price of marring his perfect body. Especially his nose.

    “Addy last words, bongrel?”

    Rider looked up through that mop of hair. His breaths were ragged. Gilgamesh could hear the wet slur from blood in his lungs. Yet for some reason, he was still grinning.

    “I was tanking for the g!rli3.”

    “…What.”

    And then, Gilgamesh sensed it. The surge of power to his right.

    “EX-“


    No. No. No.

    “gg, Archer,” Rider said.

    Gilgamesh wheeled so quickly that he nearly toppled over. His eyes snapped to the tiny, glittering figure in the distance.

    “Sab—“

    “-CALIBUR!”


    Light hurtled toward him, vaporizing everything in its path. His armor melted at its caress. A wall of destruction. And it was beautiful.

    With that final realization, the Golden King reentered the realm of myth.
    Last edited by Zalgo Jenkins; November 20th, 2012 at 06:16 PM.

  2. #2
    Dapper Deathwing YeOfLittleFaith's Avatar
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    HOLY SHIT YES. Sorry, Gilgamesh even your haxx0r NPs are nothing before Largo's 1337 skillz.
    And Largo is a man amongst men, blowing all his cooldowns to tank Gil for Saber.

    Zalgo, this was amazing. You are awesome.



    Quote Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
    Not my fault Shirou is an awesome bro to lesbians.

  3. #3
    Ah, Largo...You never fail to bring joy to my heart. Thank you for fulfilling my wish to see the L33T gamer in a Holy Grail War.

  4. #4
    That Table Chojomeka's Avatar
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    T_T That was beautiful...though I wonder...who was R;cl3r's /\/\4573r?

  5. #5
    Master of Hermione Alter Kieran's Avatar
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    *chuckle* I just spent yesterday catching up on Megatokyo - lucky timing, I guess.

    This was funny, and proof that Largo's Reality Marble is a thing to be feared Ph34red, for it overrides all notions of sanity and common sense, reducing even the most battle-hardened opponent to slack-jawed bewilderment.
    “Love will be cruel to who it entices — love will have its sacrifices.”

    — Carmilla Theme




    "Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."

    ―Jim Butcher, Vignette




  6. #6
    Shirou: If you can't beat them, join them *eye rolls* burningclaw2's Avatar
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    *Piroko walks up behind largo places her pistol to the back of Largo's head and says 'B4k4' before blowing Largo's skull to pieces*
    Words to live by: Fate is a B****, Destiny is a whore, while Karma is just doing her job.

    Violence solves all problems. If its not working then you are not using enough.
    Even though I am male after taking a 'Which Fate/stay night Character are you?' quiz I am...

    Tohsaka Rin You are Rin. Cool and collected, you think logically about most situations. You strive for self-perfection, and rely on others only for your benefit. You may be cold toward most people, but you can be friendly when you try. Indeed, it could be said you enjoy helping others that you care for. Whatever the case, you tend to think logically and don't let emotions cloud your judgement.

  7. #7
    Master of Hermione Alter Kieran's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chojomeka View Post
    T_T That was beautiful...though I wonder...who was R;cl3r's /\/\4573r?
    He was working for Ilya - she offered him b33r.



    Quote Originally Posted by burningclaw2 View Post
    *Piroko walks up behind largo places her pistol to the back of Largo's head and says 'B4k4' before blowing Largo's skull to pieces*
    Classic.
    “Love will be cruel to who it entices — love will have its sacrifices.”

    — Carmilla Theme




    "Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."

    ―Jim Butcher, Vignette




  8. #8
    Shirou: If you can't beat them, join them *eye rolls* burningclaw2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kieran View Post
    He was working for Ilya - she offered him b33r.
    That'd do it.


    Classic.
    Thanks, that strip is one of my favorites. Piro/Piroko is one of my favorite Megatokyo characters ^^
    Words to live by: Fate is a B****, Destiny is a whore, while Karma is just doing her job.

    Violence solves all problems. If its not working then you are not using enough.
    Even though I am male after taking a 'Which Fate/stay night Character are you?' quiz I am...

    Tohsaka Rin You are Rin. Cool and collected, you think logically about most situations. You strive for self-perfection, and rely on others only for your benefit. You may be cold toward most people, but you can be friendly when you try. Indeed, it could be said you enjoy helping others that you care for. Whatever the case, you tend to think logically and don't let emotions cloud your judgement.

  9. #9
    nicht mitmachen Dullahan's Avatar
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    Awesome. Very awesome indeed.
    かん
    ぎゅう
    じゅう
    とう

    Expresses the exceeding size of one's library.
    Books are extremely many, loaded on an oxcart the ox will sweat.
    At home piled to the ridgepole of the house, from this meaning.
    Read out as 「Ushi ni ase shi, munagi ni mitsu.」
    Source: 柳宗元「其為書,處則充棟宇,出則汗牛馬。」— Tang Dynasty


  10. #10
    Zalgo delivers! I don't know where you get your ideas from, but please don't stop.

  11. #11
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle
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    The only things I know about Megatokyo is that it apparently went to shit after one of its writers left, and that it has sad girls in snow, and I still enjoyed this as a funny little bit of crackfic. Well done.

  12. #12
    nicht mitmachen Dullahan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nick012000 View Post
    The only things I know about Megatokyo is that it apparently went to shit after one of its writers left, and that it has sad girls in snow, and I still enjoyed this as a funny little bit of crackfic. Well done.
    Well, that's a matter of opinion. I wouldn't say 'gone to shit'. The art's greatly improved, at the very least.
    かん
    ぎゅう
    じゅう
    とう

    Expresses the exceeding size of one's library.
    Books are extremely many, loaded on an oxcart the ox will sweat.
    At home piled to the ridgepole of the house, from this meaning.
    Read out as 「Ushi ni ase shi, munagi ni mitsu.」
    Source: 柳宗元「其為書,處則充棟宇,出則汗牛馬。」— Tang Dynasty


  13. #13
    *bow continously*
    I'm not worty... I'm not worty... I'm not worty...
    ...
    Please, can we have moar?
    Perhaps with Largo as a MASTER instead of a Servant?
    92 minuti di applausi!!!

    Perchè immaginiamo?, ci chiedono.
    E perchè no?, è la risposta più adatta.
    Almeno, questo è ciò che credo io.


    Spoiler:


    CASTER FAN, and PROUD of it!!!!

  14. #14
    Master of Hermione Alter Kieran's Avatar
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    That means he'd either end up with Junpei as Assassin, Erika as Caster, or a Rent-a-Zilla playing Berserker.
    “Love will be cruel to who it entices — love will have its sacrifices.”

    — Carmilla Theme




    "Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."

    ―Jim Butcher, Vignette




  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Kieran View Post
    That means he'd either end up with Junpei as Assassin, Erika as Caster, or a Rent-a-Zilla playing Berserker.
    Better Miho as Caster or Assassin.
    92 minuti di applausi!!!

    Perchè immaginiamo?, ci chiedono.
    E perchè no?, è la risposta più adatta.
    Almeno, questo è ciò che credo io.


    Spoiler:


    CASTER FAN, and PROUD of it!!!!

  16. #16
    Master of Hermione Alter Kieran's Avatar
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    Except that he largely regards her as his mortal enemy - so I don't see that introduction going well.

    (. . . Although I admit to a desire to watch Miho take on Medea - I suspect the Witch of Betrayal would be out of her league. )
    “Love will be cruel to who it entices — love will have its sacrifices.”

    — Carmilla Theme




    "Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference."

    ―Jim Butcher, Vignette




  17. #17
    Shirou: If you can't beat them, join them *eye rolls* burningclaw2's Avatar
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    I would like to see Piroko as a servant, she would make a dangerous Assassin or Caster given all the times she managed to kill Largo and the time she made a spell to make a person go through the same exepriance as an orange going through a juicer.
    Words to live by: Fate is a B****, Destiny is a whore, while Karma is just doing her job.

    Violence solves all problems. If its not working then you are not using enough.
    Even though I am male after taking a 'Which Fate/stay night Character are you?' quiz I am...

    Tohsaka Rin You are Rin. Cool and collected, you think logically about most situations. You strive for self-perfection, and rely on others only for your benefit. You may be cold toward most people, but you can be friendly when you try. Indeed, it could be said you enjoy helping others that you care for. Whatever the case, you tend to think logically and don't let emotions cloud your judgement.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Kieran View Post
    Except that he largely regards her as his mortal enemy - so I don't see that introduction going well.

    (. . . Although I admit to a desire to watch Miho take on Medea - I suspect the Witch of Betrayal would be out of her league. )
    Comic mentality, in Largo's and Miho's case (only on Largo's side: Miho prefer to use him as comic relief, normally): she's HIS Nemesis, so only HE can defeat her.
    In Mortal Kombat.
    And the ones that will try to deny this to him will f33l p41n & f34r!!!
    92 minuti di applausi!!!

    Perchè immaginiamo?, ci chiedono.
    E perchè no?, è la risposta più adatta.
    Almeno, questo è ciò che credo io.


    Spoiler:


    CASTER FAN, and PROUD of it!!!!

  19. #19
    Shirou: If you can't beat them, join them *eye rolls* burningclaw2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MWkillkenny84 View Post
    Comic mentality, in Largo's and Miho's case (only on Largo's side: Miho prefer to use him as comic relief, normally): she's HIS Nemesis, so only HE can defeat her.
    In Mortal Kombat.
    And the ones that will try to deny this to him will f33l p41n & f34r!!!
    Didn't Miho kill Largo(in one of the game storylines) and cause him to break not only his leg but face as well?
    Words to live by: Fate is a B****, Destiny is a whore, while Karma is just doing her job.

    Violence solves all problems. If its not working then you are not using enough.
    Even though I am male after taking a 'Which Fate/stay night Character are you?' quiz I am...

    Tohsaka Rin You are Rin. Cool and collected, you think logically about most situations. You strive for self-perfection, and rely on others only for your benefit. You may be cold toward most people, but you can be friendly when you try. Indeed, it could be said you enjoy helping others that you care for. Whatever the case, you tend to think logically and don't let emotions cloud your judgement.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by burningclaw2 View Post
    Didn't Miho kill Largo(in one of the game storylines) and cause him to break not only his leg but face as well?

    That, too.
    But it's personal, between the two of them.
    So, not letting third parties place themselves between their match.
    And THIS include other Servants and Masters.
    92 minuti di applausi!!!

    Perchè immaginiamo?, ci chiedono.
    E perchè no?, è la risposta più adatta.
    Almeno, questo è ciò che credo io.


    Spoiler:


    CASTER FAN, and PROUD of it!!!!

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