Originally Posted by
ratstsrub
Fifty Shades of Grey is a good reference in that fiction needn't be a 100% accurate representation of what actually happens in real life. Erotic writings doesn't have to conform to reality, and readers of such materials might not want it to.
I'm a bit disappointed with this guide actually, since it didn't really show how to write a lemon. No word choice, no examples, no analysis of why those examples work, why certain things are hot, what's the psychology behind people's enjoyment of lemons and how you can take advantage of that, but basically a dry listing of basic things not to do and regurgitation of common knowledge:
No 24 inch cock.
No giant hissing coiling python.
Sucking a man's penis makes him feel good.
The human body does not squirt a lot of semen.
In fact, for the last one, that basically ignores the possibility that there might be a reason for the common occurrence of that event, other than that the writers are hacks who have no grounding in reality. (They are usually male, they usually have a penis, and they, at the least, masturbate, so determine from there whether or not they know what's the normal amount of semen ejected.)
Here's hoping maybe that's just because Elf is talking about a penis.