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Thread: The Beast's Lair Fanfic Contest (2013 Edition) (Discussion Thread)

  1. #181
    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santo View Post
    ...

    Have you tried sex with fluff?

    Is that even possible? =,=;
    Tried it. Failed horribly.

    I think my lack of interest in sex in general is part of the problem when it comes to trying to write it. I can't write something I really have no interest in.



  2. #182
    N̠͔͓̰͒ͯͥ̉ͦ̂y̖͒á͓͔͙̮̹ͬ.͇̪ͤͨ̾̒.͎͙͇̟̅͒̑̇͋́.̾̽̓͗̄ Dark Pulse's Avatar
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    Well, there's other categories you can obviously enter as well. Perhaps there should be some kind of generic or slice-of-life category, but I don't know how well it'd hold, and I also don't want people just committing to that category either...
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  3. #183
    Just look at the new Tohno estate, so many rooms to christen Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    I think, though, it might be good to have just a separate contest for lemons, maybe after Elf has written more of her guide. I just think that it'd probably be better to use some different system altogether to rate lemons, one that maybe eliminates concept but adds something like technical merit ("...Lifelike texture...") and maybe a smaller, less weighted rating for hotness, or something.
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  4. #184
    Stupid Low Luck Rating Elf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    I think, though, it might be good to have just a separate contest for lemons, maybe after Elf has written more of her guide. I just think that it'd probably be better to use some different system altogether to rate lemons, one that maybe eliminates concept but adds something like technical merit ("...Lifelike texture...") and maybe a smaller, less weighted rating for hotness, or something.
    That could work too. Actually.

    Just getting the prizes and stuff together would be hard.


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  5. #185
    Κύρια Ἐλέησον Seika's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    I think, though, it might be good to have just a separate contest for lemons, maybe after Elf has written more of her guide.
    Look, Elf's thread is nice and all, but it's also composed of stuff you essentially should never have got wrong in the first place, either because of having had enough sex to understand how it works or because it still deals with things anyone could have found out with five minutes of research. If they were going to arse it up on those counts before, they were a bad enough writer/virgin that they'll arse it up in some other way. It's nowhere near a panacea for bad sex scenes, and if we were going to have lemons in a contest (separate or otherwise), we shouldn't be waiting on it.
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  6. #186
    N̠͔͓̰͒ͯͥ̉ͦ̂y̖͒á͓͔͙̮̹ͬ.͇̪ͤͨ̾̒.͎͙͇̟̅͒̑̇͋́.̾̽̓͗̄ Dark Pulse's Avatar
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    Well, for me, it's more of a case of "It was an entirely lemon contest in the past; I see no reason why there should be a separate one now."

    Well-written lemon may be hot, but lemon with a good plot, and good reasons, is ALWAYS hotter.

    Plus, nobody's forced to pick the lemon category, but as Elf said, I think the "downplaying" of it last year is why none of it really happened, so we want to make it clear that it's not discouraged or anything.
    "Get lost. You wouldn't recognize a goddamn vampire if one jumped up and bit you on the end of your fucking dick."


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    Old Quote Crap!

    Quote Originally Posted by eddyak View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoadBuster
    Why do you think we got all these mods? So I can sit back and do jack shit, obviously!
    Quote Originally Posted by ItsaRandomUsername
    I propose more forumite-based words. Like Darpleosity (adj. a state of existence signified to calmly analyzing and making an argument/case in a way that defuses tensions and makes the participants in said argument look like twats for continuing on with antagonizing and/or being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn while also using good-natured humor to enhance said post).
    Quote Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
    Having been, as I3uster put it, "other clueless dude" earlier today in precisely this fashion, I'm going to have to be in favor of necromancy. Or be a hypocrite. But as a lawyer, I prefer to get paid when I indulge in hypocrisy, thank you, so I'll stick with necromancy.

    [14:06] <Cruor> petri is it possible to play Phoenix III/Steppewolf without it crashing
    [14:08] <Kelnish> no
    [14:08] <Kelnish> it isn't
    [14:09] <Cruor> how can there be so many bugs
    [14:09] <Cruor> in one mod
    [14:10] <Dark_Pulse> Because quality assurance doesn't exist anymore
    [14:10] <Dark_Pulse> Unless it's Quality Ass, U Rance
    [14:10] <Daiki> ...
    [14:10] <I3uster> oh god dp was funny
    [14:10] <I3uster> apocalypse confirmed
    [14:10] <Wakame> the horror

  7. #187
    Why am I holding a scale? The Curious Fan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enhance View Post
    So it becomes like Clannad?
    (I didn't get to the h scenes though)
    I don't think there were any sex scenes in Clannad (in Tomoyo After, sure, but not Clannad).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    It's 100% even. Alexander was naturally gifted with a huge penis, but Archer, who was born hopelessly average, nevertheless attained a huge penis through years of jelqing and penis pumping.
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  8. #188
    Glorious Grammar Master Race Frantic Author's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
    Tried it. Failed horribly.
    Spoiler:



    TRIED THE PORN WRITING LIFE. DIDN'T CARE FOR IT. TOO MUCH PAIN, NOT ENOUGH PROFIT.

    (because i fucking hate large images)

    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Look, Elf's thread is nice and all, but it's also composed of stuff you essentially should never have got wrong in the first place, either because of having had enough sex to understand how it works or because it still deals with things anyone could have found out with five minutes of research. If they were going to arse it up on those counts before, they were a bad enough writer/virgin that they'll arse it up in some other way. It's nowhere near a panacea for bad sex scenes, and if we were going to have lemons in a contest (separate or otherwise), we shouldn't be waiting on it.
    I have to say, I went into that thread expecting a breakdown of how to make your writing sexy, and exited with "Goddammit Spinach you ruin everything", and a basic anatomy lesson.
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  9. #189
    Mahou Shounen Break's Avatar
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    i assume the reason why doujin and fanfiction contain so much impossibilities is to be more attractive to the core of the audience that has most free money to pay for loads of it, mainly the forever virgin otaku neckbeard kind. why else would so many doujins have the nonsensical notion of girls likign smegma but to make these people help get over their complex because of it, for example? (althoguh if your a virgin for along time and read those and get to start havign sex, youd probably be a little disappointed that the partenr's reactions arent anywhere near as overdone as in those.)



    that aside, i would probably like to try joining this contest, but then again i might yet again fall victim to my tendency of losing motivation to continue writing after the prologue.... but maybe ill manage to stay motivated if its within the bounds of a contest.
    Spoiler:

  10. #190
    Just look at the new Tohno estate, so many rooms to christen Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frantic Author View Post
    and exited with "Goddammit Spinach you ruin everything"
    But isn't that what you should leave every thread with? This should not be news.
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  11. #191
    Stupid Low Luck Rating Elf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frantic Author View Post
    I have to say, I went into that thread expecting a breakdown of how to make your writing sexy, and exited with "Goddammit Spinach you ruin everything", and a basic anatomy lesson.
    You know the lesson is far from finished right? Seriously, you have no idea how many people don't know their basic anatomy. Or completely ignore the clitoris. So Anatomy then you learn how to make your writing sexy.


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    Quote Originally Posted by ItsaRandomUsername
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  12. #192
    Just look at the new Tohno estate, so many rooms to christen Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Pulse View Post
    Well, for me, it's more of a case of "It was an entirely lemon contest in the past; I see no reason why there should be a separate one now."
    I suppose one could shoehorn in the "how hot is the lemon?" into the artistry category where you'd be replacing "how good was the action?" or "how funny did you find it?" But then you don't just get a fun little category of "Hotness." Or a clearly-defined way of docking points for saying no, "Surprise buttsex!" is not actually a good way to segue into anal.
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  13. #193
    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Pulse View Post
    Well-written lemon may be hot, but lemon with a good plot, and good reasons, is ALWAYS hotter.
    There were plenty of those in the lemon contests of the past.

    I honestly have to say if we'll be doing it, the lemons need to have their own contest. There's a few other things to judge with lemons on their own merits that I feel would only clutter up the current contest as it is, if we kept them as part of it.



  14. #194
    every day Spinach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frantic Author View Post
    I have to say, I went into that thread expecting a breakdown of how to make your writing sexy, and exited with "Goddammit Spinach you ruin everything", and a basic anatomy lesson.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    But isn't that what you should leave every thread with? This should not be news.
    "You can get my respect even if you have the wrong opinion as long as you have it the right way."

  15. #195
    Butt Stallion says hello Neir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Look, Elf's thread is nice and all, but it's also composed of stuff you essentially should never have got wrong in the first place, either because of having had enough sex to understand how it works or because it still deals with things anyone could have found out with five minutes of research. If they were going to arse it up on those counts before, they were a bad enough writer/virgin that they'll arse it up in some other way. It's nowhere near a panacea for bad sex scenes, and if we were going to have lemons in a contest (separate or otherwise), we shouldn't be waiting on it.
    This.

    Basics apply. If you can't write something for the contest without first being taught basic rules, don't. Take the five minutes to look up how a rule of grammar works, where the penis is, or how to spell something. This is part of why I push for no betas (honor system).
    11:47 tusia Nii san ! Grab my penis ! ADVENTURE !!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by lantzblades View Post
    says the hater, you keep on hating, i'll be around ignoring your invalid, incorrect opinion.
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  16. #196
    Just look at the new Tohno estate, so many rooms to christen Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    No betas?

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  17. #197
    The only Saber Clone that matters Ace's Avatar
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    No spellcheck, no betas. Final destination.

  18. #198
    Bespritzt mit einer Blutgruppe die nicht zu mir gehört I3uster's Avatar
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    You know, with no betas 30 points in technical almost makes sense.

    Doesn't make it less retarded though. :V
    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    rin is run and caster is faster.

  19. #199
    Evil Good RadiantBeam's Avatar
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    Is that an official rule for the contest, then? No betas?



  20. #200
    Bespritzt mit einer Blutgruppe die nicht zu mir gehört I3uster's Avatar
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    Not yet, and I hope this doesn't become one, we can do a "Beast's Lair Grammar Challenge" if you really want that. Maybe get Gauss in the jury.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    rin is run and caster is faster.

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