Mahou Senki Lyrical Days// Distort
doubt the slashes will work on fanfiction.net but worth a shot *shrugs*
Mahou Senki Lyrical Days// Distort
doubt the slashes will work on fanfiction.net but worth a shot *shrugs*
As awesome as it is to have Kiri VS Percia; I think Fraggle's snippet That unforgettable Winter Day is more appropriate for the re-write.
Oh, and the aftermath where Momoko comforts Shirou with a hug.
One thing I do notice, Shirou doesn't seem to be close To Kiri in the re-write. now how will this affect the future? Or will this eventually build up to that scene where Kiri dies and Shirou inherits his father's ideal?
One more thing, Kiri was looking away when Yuuno or Nanoha asked him whether he can help or not, Is the Thompson Contender still around or he's just thinking while looking at somewhere else?
Next chapter is Fate's arrival. Is it wrong that I imagine Kiri with Elmer's outfit and rifle hunting for Arf?
I thought this was a duplicate of the original thread, then I saw it was by fraggle, so i thought trolling.
Then I was wrong.
Very Wrong.
You guys really need to change the title, even if it may be a redundant title
Just a question, if this fanfic has a opening song and Ending song, which one?
I liked this chapter. The changes in comparison to the original, are interesting and offer new ways for this story to grow. But, what I liked the most was the scene between Shirou and Momoko - especially the mention of Shirou's mother. It makes him more human, and therefore more interesting to read about and identify with. I would love to see this particular topic - of Shirou's original family - explored more, but not at the cost of the main story, it would be an interesting sub-story or a second plot, running parallel to the main part.
What can change the nature of a man?What does one life matter?
Hearing Jibirl reminded me of the biggest improvement that I liked as I really loved Shirou's interaction with Nanoha's Mother it was much improved.
The first time with her saying he cannot cook and things similar I was board and was tempted to skip it this new version where he considers her his mother and is terrified of disappointing her is a) more touching b) more realistic and c) made me interested in their future interactions.
The second big improvement for me is the Kiritsugu angle I much prefer how he act's here then the original one and I very much like the newest interactions with Nanoha and Yunno.
Last edited by rajvir; April 21st, 2013 at 02:27 PM. Reason: Forgot about Jibirl and considering he is right above me for shame.
I like these new emotional angles that you've been putting in, especially the parts about Shirou's old family. As the other two said, it really heightened the interactions between Shirou and the Takamichi family, before they were kinda....disappointing. Then again heroslayer was leaning a bit to comedy (I think) so I guess that's not too amazing...
The introduction of Kiritsugu earlier into the story is really helping the development of Nanoha, as well as implementing far more elements of Nasuverse in. I know Muramasa has constantly sledged about this, but the original really didn't go into the dangers of magecraft as it could have
"Everything in creation is flawed. Humans don't need to be mentioned. Air, intent, and even time. My eyes can see the death of things. They're special, like yours. So I can kill anything that lives. Even if that thing is God."
Spoiler:
If it does, I think the fic will go grimdark with Nanoha denying every second on what Kiritsugu has said about Earth's magecraft. Though, it'll be morbidly funny if Suzuka sneezed when he mentions about vampires to the 9 year old girl.Originally Posted by one piece of infinity
We can't just have a nine year old boy walk around with a jewel seed stuck inside his body, right? I mean, what if he goes rogue?
Evangelion 3.33
Too much?
Illya is best servant
yes yes, channel you inner buchergen.We can't just have a nine year old boy walk around with a jewel seed stuck inside his body, right? I mean, what if he goes rogue?
Evangelion 3.33
Too much?
It's a comment to an Eva 3.33/Q spoiler, so naturally it involves spoilers, too
My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
Too much funny.We can't just have a nine year old boy walk around with a jewel seed stuck inside his body, right? I mean, what if he goes rogue?
Evangelion 3.33
Too much?
Ofcourse it's not like the power of the JS will get to Shirou's head in the first place.
Illya is best servant
Bad Fraggle.
*Grabs Fraggle's Collar and starts to drag him back*
We need to discuss limits.
Life at best is Bittersweet
-Jack Kirby
The source material has the main character impale himself from the inside with swords, a girl get her heart ripped out, and another boy turned into fine paste by a titanic club.
And the badly scripted sex scenes starring hormonal teenagers in life and death situations. Can't forget those.
Limits flew out the window a looooooong time ago.
Well... getting your head blown up is one limit I don't object too. 0_0
Mixed feelings....but if it's for the greater good. >_>
Teasing the Penguin God!
Err... I don't think it was meant to be taken seriously.
I know that, I keep forgetting sarcasm/humor doesn't translate well over the internet.
Then again if it's Shirou....
Teasing the Penguin God!
Use sarcasm tags.
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