Thanks for the input, I'll bear it in mind for any future projects.Originally Posted by mAc Chaos
Fair enough.
And I have no idea why the font's changed.
Thanks for the input, I'll bear it in mind for any future projects.
Fair enough.
And I have no idea why the font's changed.
If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill
There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. - William Shakespeare
Beast's Lair automatically uses formatting when you copy and paste and other things, unless you turn it off. I like it better when it's just plain text and it lets you do the code yourself.
But anyway. What I mean by cutting the tension short is this. Think of UBW, and Fate. Half of the route is made up of the conflict in personality and philosophies between Saber and Shirou, and Shirou and Archer. The ideals and so on. Now imagine if instead of drawing all of that out and letting it play out they all just got hit by a car on Day 4, and the story is over. That's what I felt like with this story. There was a lot of set up for things like having Rin and Issei's misunderstandings, Shinji and Shirou and the differences they would have between them now, Rin and Shirou and how her pragmatism would clash with his idealism, Shirou finding ways to use his magic, etc. Oh, and how could I forget Kotomine. He just leaves.
Basically all the starting points were there, it just did not follow through. It's more like Battle Royale where people just randomly die for no reason. That's why I said it feels more like Battle Royale story with some people who just happen to be from FSN, than a FSN story with a Battle Royale setting.
As far as writing and characterization goes, you did good though. Just finishing it and getting all of it out there is nothing to sneeze at.
Last edited by mAc Chaos; June 27th, 2013 at 03:32 PM.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
Well, the people don't die for "no reason", its a logical conclusion, which does happen in TM, sometimes people do die meaninglessly and without preamble.
Shirou's death just when hope was in reach is very BR, but it's not like you don't have that in other TM stories.
Kinda surprised Rin is even considering participating in the war when she knows Kirei is the Supervisor, seems a bit unwise to enter something grandiose like that, and considering Kirei was the one that gave her Tokiomi's will and would undoubtedly have her house on lockdown (as well as the government), it'd be hard going for sure. Not bad take on mixing the two different types of stories.
"Fate/stay night: not really an eroge, and not really a cooking sim, but actually an RPG wherein everyone’s primary stat is “self-loathing” and the goal is to level it up beyond all the other characters."
I just mean there was a lot of potential dramatic conflict that was left unexplored.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
True, but then sometimes, less is more, I think this was one of those times, especially with the really strained time limit.
"Fate/stay night: not really an eroge, and not really a cooking sim, but actually an RPG wherein everyone’s primary stat is “self-loathing” and the goal is to level it up beyond all the other characters."
Yeah I get you I would think that their would be some stuff like Kirei being annoyed at the fact that Rin was able to win the game with another person and so comes with the soldiers, fights Rin with him winning via experience then Ayako distracting him by trying to sneak attack him then Rin using a Gandr to his face.
Then have an Omake with Rin summoning Emiya and finding out that he died via his own Naivety/Idealism
You've been told not to necro threads multiple times. Given you're either continuing with this deliberately in spite of what's been said, or have decided not to look back at the very threads you're resurrecting to comment on, I have my doubts that a normal warning will do any good. As such, I'm temp-banning you for a day to make sure you get the message.
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Erm.
This is about the third or fourth time you've necro'd a thread created from a year or two ago in this subforum.
Not that I personally have any problem with it, but for the sake of all the others who probably do (as I believe Arashi has said twice), can you please stop already?
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