Create-a-Servant

[qsurf]

Nah. I don't know about the Trojan Horse or the Odyssee as NP. Those were not accomplished by Odysseus alone:

1.) Trojan Horse: It's not just about the idea but also the payload: Stuff badass Greek heroes inside and wrap it up nicely.

His idea if I remember correctly. It was the only thing that won them the stupid war.

2.) Odyssee: You are on a boat. With your comrades. You survive, they don't. That does not necessarily mean that you are
the best among them, but your luck and the favour of the gods might be the deciding factor. The experiences gleaned on this
journey on another hand though....

So his most well known story, one of the most epic journeys ever, doesn't even warrant a look? Especially when it's possibly the main reason why he's so famous?

Don't get me wrong here, not trying to start something, I'm just really confused as to why those two, his most well known feats, didn't feature so highly on the sheet. Kudos though.

[ylas]

No offense taken!
I tried to fit those in his abilities and powers while working within the constraints of his Servant class.

When creating a Servant I usually follow this pattern:
First step: Fanwank away
Second step: Seriously reconsider
Third step: Time to post.

[aldeayeah]

I love that Odysseus!

[Schattenbach]

You could turn the "Trojan Horse" into something more akin to an conceptual weapon in variable form akin to "an idea" ... think trojaner (the maleware-stuff) and maybe turn it into something (like "a fake present that brings about the enemies downfall") that fits the class.

[qsurf]

I remember writing a possible NP based on the Concept, but it's lost somewhere in the bowels of Beast's Lair....

- - - Updated - - -

I should learn to shut up and search before saying shit:

Noble Phantasm: Trojan Horse (N/A)
A last ditch attempt at victory, this Noble Phantasm calls on Odysseus' final act in the Trojan War that led to the true beginnings of his legend. After battling a single Servant and Master ten times without a clear victor on either side, the last time he escapes, he leaves behind an item for the opponents, a gift of sorts that the Master or Servant are compelled to accept and take it home. From here on out, target's own luck is equal to his own.


They will be given three warnings from their closest ally, magus or not, about the nature of the gift, and each time they will roll their luck stat against Odysseus' own. With each loss, their luck is reduced by a rank while they grow more incredulous of their ally, with each victory, it is Odysseus' own luck that reduces by a rank, and the target begins to gain more clues behind the gift.


That night, if the target's luck is lower than Odysseus' own, at the target's most inconvenient moment, the true nature of the gift is revealed as Odysseus and a number of heroic spirits summoned for just this one attack explode from it, all defenses within the target's base are completely shattered and anyone can enter. All stats of both sides equal their own current Luck stat. However, if it is the target with the higher luck, then only Odysseus appears for the final surprise attack and the battle proceeds as normal.


If the target knows his True Identity, then the Noble Phantasm cannot be used in the first place.




The keyword here is: Deception.

Very rough, but it was a demo of what it could look like. However, the NP is most suited to Assassin/Rider classes.

[ylas]

The remaining two original Servants

Servant Berserker

Identity: Kullerwoinen, Son of Evil Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Strength B (C)	Magic A+ (A)
Endurance A+ (A)	Luck D (E)
Agility C (D)	Noble Phantasm A

Legend/Personality

Kullervo was the ill-fated son of Kalervo and is the only character in the Finnish mythology (collected in the Kalevala), which was irredeemably tragic. His people slain and his pregnant mother taken to the enemy tribe led by Untamo, Kullervo is born in enemy territory. When he is heard uttering vows of revenge as a three months old child, Untamo tries to kill him three times: once by drowning him in the river, once in a great fire and finally by hanging or crucifying him in a tree. Kullervo first displays his potential by not only surviving each of these attempts for three days but conjuring up tools according to his surroundings. When Untamo finally realizes that Kullervo cannot be killed he sells him to Ilmarinen. There, Kullervo is constantly mistreated by Ilmarinen's wife and in the end kills her by transforming her cows into bears. After fleeing from Ilmarinen, Kullervo finds his family which was actually still alive but cannot get accustomed to a regulated lifestyle and is sent away to collect tributes due to his tribe. On the way he meets and rapes a woman, whom he did not recognize as his sister and who killed herself out of shame. Realizing his grave crime Kullervo vows revenge on Untamo against the wishes of his family. With the magic sword Ukko gave him upon his plea, Kullervo routs Untamo and his people, only to return and find his family dead. After having lost everything Kullervo commits suicide using Ukko's sword. Kullervo is stubborn and very impulsive to a fault. He will only do what he desires to and use excessive means to do so.

Abilities

Mad Enhancement C Battle Continuation A+ Kullervo must be utterly vanquished in one fell stroke or he will continue to fight. Instinct A Magecraft - (originally: A+) Mental Pollution C Prana Burst (uncontrolled) A++ This probably explains his amazing resilience against all forms of harm even in his childhood and his excessive use of power in any task he attempts. While this renders him into a powerful fighter, his full potential cannot be used in other situations without serious adverse effects.

Noble Phantasm

Ukonmiekka ~ Ukko's Sword Rank: A Range: 0-30 Max. Target/s: 1-100 Type: Anti-Army When Kullervo pleaded to Ukko to grant him an incomparable weapon to take revenge on Untamo, Ukko gave him his magic broadsword. It is a blade forged of copper and stylized bolts and arrows are engraved on it. In addition to simply strike with this sword, it can also call down a powerful lightening bolt at a designated area, dealing electric and sonic damage. Its power is on par with the bolts hurled by Zeus.

Motivations

Kullerwoinen participates in the War to revise his doom.

Servant Rider

Identity: Charlemagne/Carolus Magnus/Karl Alignment: Neutral Good
Strength C	Magic D
Endurance C	Luck A
Agility C	Noble Phantasm B-A+

Legend/Personality

Charlemagne was one of the most influential rulers in the history of Europe whose legacy was hearkened back by the kings of the Holy Roman Empire and the House of France. The grandson of Charles Martel, who fought of the invasion at Tours and wrested much of the control from the declining Merovingian dynasty, and the son of Pepin the Short, who ousted the Merovingians and established the Carolingian dynasty, Charlemagne enlarged the Frankish territories, heralded the Carolingian Renaissance and at the height of his power was declared Emperor by Pope Leo III. thereby challenging the Byzantine Empire. --- Charlemagne prefers to clothe himself in the simple garment of his people and seldom dons lavish clothing. Though he does regulate his drinking the same cannot be said about his eating. Oh, and he loves to bath in hot springs!

Skills

Riding A Charisma A Domain B During his reign Charlemagne and his court traveled through the empire to administer and pacify each province. Several complexes of buildings called "Pfalz" were erected to accomodate this court providing housings, nourishment and security. This arrangement also avoided overstraining one region by continuously requiring the necessary supplies. Similar to the "Territory Creation" exclusive to the Caster-class, Rider can declare a set of buildings as his domain, which bolsters his prana regeneration and enemy detection. Residents of these buildings are considered as his subjects. Lay of the Land B (Plains) When fighting on his preferred terrain, Rider's Agility or on of his skills linked to his agility (in this case: Riding and Disengage) randomly receive a '+'-Modifier. A plain in this case is defined as an open space with little to no elevation of at least 100 sqr meters. Liege's Duty A Vassals swore to lend military aid and counsel to their liege (consilium and auxilium). At the same time their liege was obligated to aid his vassals. Should one of his subordinates or sworn friends be harmed or threatend Rider will randomly receive a '+'-modifier on one of his physical parameters for the next battle against the offender.

Noble Phantasms

Comites Palatini ~ The Twelve Peers Rank: B Range: 0 Max. Target/s: 1 Type: Innate Bounded Field Comes, or: counts, aided Charlemagne by administrating their assigned county. Among those twelve are venerated as the Twelve Peers, the paladins (Count palatine) of Charlemagne, chief among them Margrave Roland, who was responsible for the Breton March. Their loyalty to the death in the valley of Roncevaux binds them to Charlemagne and enables him to summon one of them in his stead as a 'fake' Servant. Only fictional peers can be summoned in this fashion and therefore Roland and peers based on historical figures cannot be summoned. When this Peer perishes Blood Court of Verdun is automatically activated and Charlemagne is summoned (similar to True Assassin's summoning from HF). Blood Court ~ Verdun Rank: B Range: 50 Max. Target/s: 4500 Type: Bounded Field Tired of the constant rebellion of the Saxon people and perceiving their resistance as perjury, Charlemagne decided to break their spirit once and for all by slaying 4500 Saxon hostages at Verdun and dispersing the Saxons through his Empire. To this day historians argue if this event took place. Nevertheless, Charlemagne finally managed to subdue the Saxons after a lengthy campaign scattering them across his Empire. When activated the bounded field indiscriminately siphons 90% of the total prana/lifeforce of any living being/spirit in its area of effect and uses this prana to unlock Charlemagne's final NP: Joyeuse Rank: A+ / ??? Range: 1-4 / 99 Max. Target/s: 1 / 4500 Type: Anti-Phantasm Forged with the advanced techniques of their smiths the Franks wielded swords of high quality at their time. Joyeuse, the personal sword of Charlemage, was one of those. It is said, that it also contains the Lance of Longinus within its pommel and was smithed from the same materials of Durandal and Curtana. It therefore is an amalgation of myth, faith and technology capable of destroying illusions, as it also cut down the Irminsul, a pillar which, according to the Saxon religion, held the roof of the world. By cutting down this central motif within the Saxon belief, it can be said that it destroyed the foundation of Saxon mythology and culture. Joyeuse is activated in three consecutive steps - each one consuming more prana and boosting its power: Christus vincit - physical NPs below the level of a divine mystery can be destroyed with the next blow Christus regnat - NPs with roots in an non-Christian tradition but below EX-Rank can be destroyed with the next blow. Christus imperat - on this level Joyeuse shatters and one attack is unleashed that destroys anything on a linear path.

Motivations

To bring an end to this unholy ritual and recover the Holy Grail.

WOah...that took longer than I espected! Anyways, feedback is always welcome and fun to read.

[Spinach]

>Charlemagne
>Summons Peers

disappoint.jpg

[ylas]

>Charlemagne
>Summons Peers

disappoint.jpg

But....why, Spinach, why??
It's not Zero/Rider summoning style, which I consider pretty broken.
Think of this NP as a love child between Zero/Rider's Ionioi Hetairoi and Fate/Berserker's God Hand....well, you get the picture ^^

[Spinach]

I don't care about the balance implications of it. It's just boring, unimaginative, even, if you don't go into great detail as to why he can do it. There's lots of screentime in F/Z dedicated to how Iskander built up such a strong bond with his own army.

To me it's like letting Roland use the Olifaunt to summon an army/Peers on the verge of death/killing himself in the process.

[SeiKeo]

Summon NPs are becoming a cancer in the fandom D:

[Bittersweet]

Ronald McDonald Summons an army of French-Fry-Kids if someone manages to steal his hamburger NP.

[Spinach]

Also why is he Rider, what does he ride?

[ylas]

Well, no arguing about that. But I don't think that all that historic context
could be adequately summed up in a little information box that pops up,
when Shirou looks at a Servant's "character sheet".
His head would explode because of all that awesome or he would be killed
while browsing the links.

As to the point of a NP being boring: Some simply tend to be that way.
And in my imagination it looked great at least, but mileages may vary.
Last, but not least: They swore fealty to Charlemagne and might only
answer his call for whatever reason.

Edit: As for using the term "summoning" loosely in this case: It's not as if
the Peers appear at the same time. Rider's body as a container of a Heroic
Spirit is used to house one Peer at a time. In a sense it's "skin-riding"
.........argh, scratch that lame pun!!

[Bittersweet]

Guys guys! I have the perfect solution to both problems. I think everyone will be happy with this.

Charlemagne summons his peers...

so he can RIDE THEM!

CASE CLOSED. 8)

[ylas]

All at the SAME TIME! Imagine the towering threat of the CAROLINGIAN RIDER COLUMN!


For that matter: What about Berserker? Too obscure/obtuse/unremarkable?

[Spinach]

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

[qsurf]

Guys guys! I have the perfect solution to both problems. I think everyone will be happy with this.

Charlemagne summons his peers...

so he can RIDE THEM!

CASE CLOSED. 8)

Legit.

Spoiler:

[terraablaze]

Charlemange is now a Disgaea character.

[G-Man]

If it makes you feel any better, Ylas, I actually enjoyed your Odysseus, Rashid, and I really liked the original Personal Skills you gave Charlemagne (though I agree with the others that summoning the 12 Peers is kind of "meh"). Your Berserker just didn't do it for me for some reason. He lacks something, just not sure what, something that keeps me from getting a clear image of him as a Servant.

[ylas]

Thanks for all your feedback!
I kinda missed the whole "summoning is becoming endemic"-thing.
Well, Fate/Zero certainly had that effect.

^ About Berserker, G-Man: Sometimes it's just about the context.
Imagine him and Luviagelita on a rampage...on Finnish steroids.
Subtlety is for wusses.

Edit of the edit: Sorry, Five_X, I just reedited my post a bit while
you were posting yours.