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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #12601
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Batman vs Voldemort sing-off was in Prince of Egypt, too.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  2. #12602
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Caster:

    True Name: Sengo Muramasa

    Alignment: Neutral Evil

    Summoning Catalyst: one of his swords

    Alternate Classes: Saber, Berserker

    Strength- C+
    Agility- D
    Endurance- C
    Mana- B+
    Luck- C
    NP- E~A+

    Appearance: A friendly and unassuming looking old man, slightly hunched over and clad in ancient japanese clothes. He is balding, with a band of grey hair around his head like a ring leaving the top bare. His eyes are mostly kept squinted (hiding their true color of blood red) and he almost always sports a wide grin on his face no matter what he's doing.

    Personality: He acts like a typical jolly, somewhat oblivious old man. This persona is not a lie, however it exists in complete juxtaposition with his bizarre set of values as a swordsman. He believes that swords have no value unless they are "used" and therefore as a maker and seller of such swords, it's in his best interests to live in an age of constant warfare. He has a morbid fascination with the bloodsoaked stories following his swords, telling them like a grandfather telling their children amusing anecdotes.

    He also has the odd habit of constantly trying to peddle his wares to people, even in in the middle of fights. His wish on the Holy Grail would be to create a world of perpetual war and bloodshed, where his swords will always have a place.

    Likes: playing with children, bloodshed
    Dislikes: peace
    Hobbies: forging swords, massacre
    Natural Enemy: Murasame


    Class Skills:

    Territory Creation (B)- Can create a "Smithing Workshop" that facilitates enhanced use of his Item Construction Skill.

    Item Construction (C+)- Can craft exceptionally well-crafted japanese swords equivalent to E ranked lesser Noble Phantasms.


    Personal Skills:


    Mental Pollution (A+)- A twisted mentality that affords protection from mental interference based thaumaturgy at the cost of making it difficult to come to an understanding with others. At this rank, one is nearly immune to all forms of mental manipulation while coming to an understanding with others is next to impossible.

    Instinct (C)- The continuous ability to "feel" the most appropriate development(s) during a battle. At this rank, it resembles a formidable sixth sense, reducing by a fourth any obstacles to vision and hearing.

    Eye For Art (Swords) (B+)- An infatuation with and knowledge for works of art. Caster's version of this Skill is based on swords in particular. As a highly skilled blacksmith he is capable of deducing most of a sword's structural properties from a brief inspection or clash of blades, factors such as weight, brittleness, quality of the metallurgy, whether it leans in one direction or another and so forth. Also possesses a high chance of realizing the identity of a fellow Heroic Spirit if they wield a sword that he recognizes.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Bloodlusting Blades- Curse Of The Mad Swordsmith (E~A+, Support): A Noble Phantasm crystallizing the morbid legends surrounding Muramasa's blades. It was told that they thirsted for blood and would refuse to be drawn back into the scabbard until they tasted it, even to the point of forcing the owner to kill allies or commit suicide. Thus, they were thought as demonic or cursed blades that bring bloodlust to all who wield them. Any of the swords Caster creates with his Item Construction Skill will initially be E rank, but each time they "taste" the opponent's blood they will rise in rank, each strike with the blades becoming more and more accurate as if actively seeking out the enemy's blood. At higher ranks, wounds from the blades will also cut deeper and be harder to heal from, while at A rank the blade's curse will extend to drawing the opponent's blood even if parried. At A+ rank the swords became wholly animated by bloodlust and no longer need Caster to wield them, orbitting around him and slashing at enemies on their own while he's free to take another one and repeat the process anew. Rather than an innate property of the swords themselves, it is simply a curse born from Caster's twisted mentality that applies to all the blades he creates. The swords can also be given to others, who will be given Mad Enhancement (B), Battle Continuation (C), Instinct (C) and (if any ordinary human) have their stats boosted to the level of a low-tier Heroic Spirit. These brainwashed humans are somewhat loyal to Caster, though they may turn on him if their bloodlust grows too uncontrollable.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    A somewhat unusual Caster, the famous japanese swordsmith Sengo Muramasa. His swords have somewhat of a bloody history (well, even by sword standards) and the man himself was known for sometimes entering bouts of violent madness (hence Berserker being one of his alt Classes). His blades were often contrasted with those of rival swordsman Murasame, which exuded peace and tranquility. For his Personality and parts of his NP (mainly the orbitting swords) I was inspired quite a bit by a sheet for him in a Sengoku Basara Create-A-Character thread on a different forum that I used to frequent. And no, I wasn't particularly inspired by the Kanshou and Bakuya sheets someone posted a few pages back, as I already had this idea quite a while before I even saw them. As always, feel free to drop by with comments and criticisms!
    Last edited by RoydGolden; May 23rd, 2016 at 01:17 AM.

  3. #12603
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Saber:


    True Name:
    Methuselah

    Alignment:
    Lawful Good

    Alternate Classes: Lancer, Caster, Ruler

    Strength- B
    Agility- B+
    Endurance- A
    Mana- B
    Luck- A
    NP- A+


    Appearance:
    An incredibly tall individual, with extremely long flowing silvery hair all the way down to his ankles and radiant golden eyes. Despite his immense age, his muscled body is without any faults to speak of and his face is still quite handsome looking, looking like that of a young man albeit with somewhat gaunt cheekbones. He has the many names of the Hebraic God tattooed across his body in runic script.


    History: After the translation of Enoch, Methuselah was proclaimed ruler of the earth by all the kings. He walked in the footsteps of his father, teaching truth, knowledge, and fear of God to the children of men all his life, and deviating from the path of rectitude neither to the right nor the left. He delivered the world from thousands of demons, the posterity of Adam which he had begotten with Lilith, that she-devil of she-devils. These demons and evil spirits, as often as they encountered a man, had sought to injure and even slay him, until Methuselah appeared, and supplicated the mercy of God. He spent three days in fasting, and then God gave him permission to write the Ineffable Name upon his sword, wherewith he slew ninety-four myriads of the demons in a minute, until Agrimus, the first-born of them, came to him and entreated him to desist, at the same time handing the names of the demons and imps over to him. And so Methuselah placed their kings in iron fetters, while the remainder fled away and hid themselves in the innermost chambers and recesses of the ocean. And it is on account of the wonderful sword by means of which the demons were killed that he was called Methuselah.

    He was so pious a man that he composed two hundred and thirty parables in praise of God for every word he uttered. When he died, the people heard a great commotion in the heavens, and they saw nine hundred rows of mourners corresponding to the nine hundred orders of the Mishnah which he had studied, and tears flowed from the eyes of the holy beings down upon the spot where he died. Seeing the grief of the celestials, the people on earth also mourned over the demise of Methuselah, and God rewarded them therefor. He added seven days to the time of grace which He had ordained before bringing destruction upon the earth by a flood of waters.


    Personality: A clear-headed and exceptionally righteous man. A natural-born saint, with great faith in God that shows through his every word and action. He believes in mercy and a chance of redemption for all beings, however for those that reject even that chance he will not hesitate to strike down with all his strength. He generally abstains from the "base" bodily pleasures, although he does derive great enjoyment from fighting one he considers a worthy opponent. Despite his great powers he is filled with humility and refers to himself as "merely a lowly servant of the Lord". He considers his Master to be the Lord Himself, rather then his mortal Master in the Grail War ("You shall not serve two masters" and all). He also shows something of a very subtle, sardonic sense of humor in some situations.

    Likes: tranquility, serving God
    Dislikes: pleasures of the flesh, demons
    Hobbies: gardening, prayer, battling worthy opponents


    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance (A-)- The ability to cancel or diminish the effects of magecraft used against oneself. At this rank, rank of spell is lowered by three and spells of C rank and below are nullfied. Servant is virtually untouchable to modern magi and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to call them a "Magus Killer". The natural Magic Resistance of the Saber class combined with his own incredible faith in the Lord grant him an extremely high rank in this Skill. However, it does not apply to the Sacraments of the Church.

    Riding (C)- Can ride most animals and vehicles with an average degree of skill. Having never had any famous feats of riding in life, his aptitude for this is solely due to being fitted for the Saber class.


    Personal Skills:

    High-Speed Divine Words (A+)- The power to activate Thaumaturgy without the use of Magic Circuits. The language of the Age of Gods, back when words played a heavy role in spellcasting. As such, it is power long lost by modern magi. At this rank, new spells can be developed and cast in the middle of heated combat and Magecraft at the level of High Thaumaturgy can be cast at the speed of Single-Action spells. In Saber's case, rather then talent for spellcasting, it represents how he was said to have composed two hundred and thirty praises of God for every word he uttered.

    Natural Body (B)- Possession of a flawless human body from birth. Saber was one of the last and greatest of the original Patriarchs, blessed by God with an unrivalled lifespan of 969 years. Provides a permanant Rank-Up to his Strength stat.

    Guardian Knight (A+)- Defensive attributes are raised when standing guard over others. As someone who defended the ancient world against untold thousands of demons, Saber can derive practically unlimited defensive capacities from those who place their faith and expectations in him.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Sword Of Methuselah- The Demon-Slaying Blade (A+, Anti-Army, Anti-Demon): The great sword wielded by the Patriarch Methuselah in biblical mythology, enscribed with the ineffable name of God and used to slay countless thousands of demons throughout his life. A peerless holy relic. When the name is invoked, the sword becomes surrounded by roiling flames, essentially adding a permanent Prana Burst (Flames) effect to Saber's sword swings. However it's true power is shown when plunging it into the ground, sending a tremendous wave of fire which scorches the landscape ahead and reduces it to a desolate hell-like environment. An Anti-Army attack easily on par with Balmung or Excalibur Galatine. Additionally, the sword also has a potent Anti-Demon attribute, and will aquire an extra + modifier when Saber is facing down beings of the Demonic Species.


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    A Saber idea I had bouncing around my head for a while now (ever since reading a discussion on biblical Servants over on Spacebattles) but wasn't sure how to pull off. As far as I know, his sword's never described as having firey powers or anything (it's just an unspecified great sword which he used to kill demons) so I basically stole that from the latest Noah movie (the flame wave thing was even based off a GIF I saw for that movie). Still, if a random Hollywood movie can take artistic license with the legend then dang it, so can I! And it's not Excalibur was described as shooting giant fortress-destroying blasts of light either...

    Pretty much all the other details of the guy's character are taken from Kabbalic sources I skimmed online, since the actual Bible lists next-to-nothing about him other than he was really old, and he died. Not exactly Heroic Spirit material just from that, LOL! He also probably has the highests Parameters of any Servant I've made so far (hardly any of mine have more than one physical parameter above B at most, whereas has two if you count the boost from Natural Body). I thought it was fitting though considering how hax he was described in his legends (I mean, guy slew 940000 demons in one minute, with a little math that means he must have been swording ~15,667 of them per second). As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms! (And if you could give any for the Muramasa sheet I made above then that'd be great too)
    Last edited by RoydGolden; May 23rd, 2016 at 01:18 AM.

  4. #12604
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Added a new Skill Eye Of The Mind (True) to Methuselah. Also why is nobody replying to any of the sheets I've put up today? It was reasonably busy up to now. It's like the thread has just gone completely dead the moment I've posted in it or something...

  5. #12605
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Also why is nobody replying to any of the sheets I've put up today? It was reasonably busy up to now.
    I wouldn't take it personally, there could be a variety of factors at play.
    That said, I do have some suggestions, if you don't mind:

    Muramasa - I'm not sure he would qualify for any class other than Caster. He's famous as a swordsmith, but not as a swordsman, and suffering from occasional bouts of fury doesn't strike me as enough qualification for Mad Enhancement; to compare with other Servants, Herakles had his legendary temper and at one point was literally possessed by divine rage, Lancelot had his Wild Man phases, and Cú Chulainn had the Warp Spasm.
    As a Caster, I think his Stats might be a bit too high, especially considering he's a relatively modern HS. I'd suggest dropping all of them by one Rank, except Agility (yes, even Mana and Luck; Mana, because he's not actually a spellcaster, and Luck, because it seems Servants associated with curses tend to not have high Luck).
    As for his Skills: based on another Caster specialized in creating specific items, Avicebron, I'd suggest increasing Item Creation to B+, but also lowering Territory Creation to B- (since it should help only with his Item Creation Skill, considering he's not actually a spellcaster). But leave out the mention of them being Noble Phantasms for his actual NP. Also, I don't think I would give him a higher Rank in Mental Pollution than the guy who raped and killed children en masse; I'd suggest lowering it (possibly to B?). Finally, why Instinct?
    I'd change his NP so that the swords start out at Rank D, instead of E, but also that they can only be strengthened with actual deaths, not just blood, and that the requirement increases exponentially just so it won't be too easy for him to charge up his swords. Also, I'd suggest changing the description so that the swords don't grant actual Skills, only that they increase their wielders' swordsmanship skills while also affecting their mind to increase their bloodlust - and that both effects increase accordingly with each sword's Rank. Finally, how long does it take for him to forge each sword?

    Methuselah - I know some of the other works in the setting, especially "Apocrypha", have opened the door for an incredible power creep, but I'd suggest not taking mythology at face value even in the Nasuverse. Consider the following: Herakles, who, according to myth, created the Strait of Gibraltar with a single kick and held up the sky, "only" has STR A. With that in mind, should Methuselah actually have STR A (counting the bonus from Natural Body), END A (Natural Body should already account for his extraordinary longevity, after all) and MANA B?
    His Skills: unless he actually displays feats of magic in the legends, I'd say nix High-Speed Divine Words. Even if you keep it, bear in mind that Medea, the granddaughter of a god who was taught magic by the actual goddess of witches, "only" had Rank A; is A+ really appropriate for Methuselah? Also, Eye of the Mind (True) is, conceptually, the Skill for heroes who started out from nothing, not naturally gifted people; is it appropriate for Methuselah, or did you add it just to boost his combat skills? Remember that with high Stats and the boost from Guardian Knight he'd already be a very difficult opponent to fight.
    I think just Anti-Army is enough to classify the NP.
    Last edited by SpoonyViking; December 16th, 2015 at 01:49 AM.

  6. #12606
    Bitchin' Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Muramasa - I'm not sure he would qualify for any class other than Caster.
    Nasu: Blah blah blah Muramasa a sword saint that cuts through causality blah blah blah haha don't you just love it when I drop random tidbits like this in unasked for?

  7. #12607
    死徒 Dead Apostle King_of_None's Avatar
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    Wasn't he just making a reference to Oboro Muramasa where the final blade could cut fate and basically rewind time.
    Spoiler:

  8. #12608
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors AvengerEmiya's Avatar
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    Well... Guess it's time for another Saber-clone.


    ---Assassin---
    - Hassan-i-Sabbah -
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    ====================
    Strength: C
    Endurance: B
    Agility: A
    Mana: C
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: -

    ====================
    Character details
    Likes: Her burqa
    Dislikes: Loud noises
    Talents: Meditating, eavesdropping
    Natural Enemy: Western-style swordmanship



    Class Skills \
    ~ Presence Concealment: [D]
    A Servant's ability to hide their presence. Assassin's rank in this skill is especially low for a Hassan, and is only suitable for spying.

    Personal Skills \

    ~ Presence Detection: [B]
    A skill of the highest class. It allows Assassin to detect other Servants up to six kilometers away.

    ~ Zealotry: [D]
    Grants unreasonable mental fortitude through a Servant's piety. Even by the standards of her fellow believers, the tortures Assassin endured in the name of her faith are incomparable. It allows Assassin to easily overcome mental interference.

    ~ Asadullah: [A]
    One of the many titles given to the son-in-law and disciples of the prophet Muhammed, Ali ibn Abi Talib. He was the the Prophet of God's greatest warrior, having slain 50,000 men throughout his life. With this Skill, Assassin mimics the technique that earned him the title Asadullah - the "Lion of God." It is the technique he used to defeat, Abdwood, a feared Arabian warrior he alone was brave enough to dual.

    The true skill of this technique stems from the user not wanting to unnecessarily harm their opponent's body. To grant them a "quick and clean" death is Assassin's goal. As such, she always aims to decapitate her enemy in one swipe. While bound for her target, Assassin's form cannot be touched, rendering her transparent until the moment she cleaves after her opponent's neck.

    Noble Phantasms \
    Zabaniya -Meditative Sensitivity-
    [Support] ---(Range & Target: NA)
    It allows for the honing of senses to extreme levels. Differing from the other Zabaniya techniques able, Meditative Sensitivity is unique in that it cannot be connected to any of the Hassans outside of stories telling of one using the technique. Through her mastery of this technique Assassin's sight is equivalent to an Archer with B-rank [Clairvoyance], and can make out radio broadcasts up to eight kilometers away, even honing in on them specifically. This Zabaniya does not require activation. Rather, it functions by reflex. Assassin can even activate it battle, having her combined super senses to act like [Instinct].

    Lore
    Assassin is one of the nineteen Hassan-i-Sabbah. Like all other Hassan, save for the Old Man of the Mountain, her true identity is lost to history. Though, curiously, she has still been allowed to keep her face (though, she always keeps it hidden.) This, perhaps, stems from Hassan's unique background. Though she was eventually accepted into the order of Assassins, and became one their leaders, she was not trained by them from childhood. Neither did she worship the same god. She was raised by an Islamic sect of ghulats who worship Ali ibn Abi Talib as a god. Specifically, as the incarnation of Allah. While the other Hassan were trained as assassins, she was bred to be a warrior in Ali's image.

    On a fateful occasion, her sect found themselves as employers for the Hassan. They, however, did not have the money to pay for the assassination, so they instead paid with the greatest treasure they had - her. Assassin wasn't bothered with this. In the end, she and the Hassan worshipped the same god. Her's simply wore flesh once.

    Training was difficult to adapt to for her. Having focused on developing her skills in combat rather than in assassination, she was ill-suited for it. Though her talent shone through, and her progress was great enough to earn her candidacy for the name Hassan-i-Sabbah. Securing the seat required her to create a miracle to God in Shaytan's name - the greatest act of piety one could accomplish. Unfortunately for her competition, she already had done so. The moment her ghulat sect recognized her promise when she was young, Assassin was subjected to body modification. Unspeakable things were done to her so that she may one day achieve the perfection a worshipper of Ali demanded. Raising her body's senses to superhuman levels. Meditative Sensitivity they had called it. It was fundamentally different from every other Zabaniya before it, but the sect still recognized her devotion and gave her the title Hassan-i-Sabbah.
    Last edited by AvengerEmiya; December 16th, 2015 at 02:06 AM.
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    Oh, fun! How often does a story actually leave the Idea Thread?
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  9. #12609
    Bitchin' Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King_of_None View Post
    Wasn't he just making a reference to Oboro Muramasa where the final blade could cut fate and basically rewind time.
    Yeah but half the stuff he says are jokey. It's the same as pointing out that apparently not-projection Kanshou and Bakuya could oneshot Gilles Tentacle Monster or that EMIYA got the coat from Ciel. Doesn't mean it isn't true.

  10. #12610
    Jalter/Merlin/Merlin Mazyrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Methuselah - I know some of the other works in the setting, especially "Apocrypha", have opened the door for an incredible power creep, but I'd suggest not taking mythology at face value even in the Nasuverse. Consider the following: Herakles, who, according to myth, created the Strait of Gibraltar with a single kick and held up the sky, "only" has STR A. With that in mind, should Methuselah actually have STR A (counting the bonus from Natural Body), END A (Natural Body should already account for his extraordinary longevity, after all) and MANA B?
    His Skills: unless he actually displays feats of magic in the legends, I'd say nix High-Speed Divine Words. Even if you keep it, bear in mind that Medea, the granddaughter of a god who was taught magic by the actual goddess of witches, "only" had Rank A; is A+ really appropriate for Methuselah? Also, Eye of the Mind (True) is, conceptually, the Skill for heroes who started out from nothing, not naturally gifted people; is it appropriate for Methuselah, or did you add it just to boost his combat skills? Remember that with high Stats and the boost from Guardian Knight he'd already be a very difficult opponent to fight.
    I think just Anti-Army is enough to classify the NP.
    On the other hand, even not taking mythology at face value I think that the antediluvians should all be pretty hax. If anything I'd give them Unified Language also, but that may be too hax. But statwise they should all be pretty strong. Eye of the Mind does seem to be just to make him needlessly stronger though.
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  11. #12611
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    Yeah but half the stuff he says are jokey. It's the same as pointing out that apparently not-projection Kanshou and Bakuya could oneshot Gilles Tentacle Monster or that EMIYA got the coat from Ciel. Doesn't mean it isn't true.
    Hah! Very well, I stand corrected: in the Nasuverse, Muramasa qualifies as a Saber by virtue of being a videogame character.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mazyrian View Post
    On the other hand, even not taking mythology at face value I think that the antediluvians should all be pretty hax.
    Hmmm... Well, it's true that Gilgamesh (under Tokiomi) has very high Stats even as an Archer; I suppose a Saber from around that time could also have so many B's and A's.
    Unified Language is from KnK, right? What does it do? Is it also related to spellcasting, like Divine Words?

  12. #12612
    吸血鬼 Vampire Omida's Avatar
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    Interesting take on Assassin, Avenger. She is more of a direct fighter than knife in the back type, so it is fun to imagine her opponents being thrown off their game. Something like:

    "You were expecting Saber, but it was I, Assassin!"

    Also, I look at that pic and only one thing comes to mind.

    Saber: 'I am so tired of this shit'.


    Anyway, time for some Servant of my own. Hope it goes better then the last one!


    True Name: Wilhelm Tell
    Class: Archer
    Alignment: True Neutral

    Looks:
    Gruff, tall man in thirties with short, black hair and brown eyes. He is summoned in woolen clothes over which he has a leather vest. His body is muscled and tanned and his hands bore signs of many mountain treks and use of a crossbow.

    Personality:
    Practical, if somewhat socially awkward, man that operates on 'get things done' mentality. He possesses a soft spot for children and is protective of them, as he can easily substitute his own son for them in any dangerous situation and as such vehemently dislikes anyone who harm children in any way. Archer dislikes attention of others centered on him, especially for his 'legend' and actually appreciates modern world and opportunities it provides to become just another face in the crowd. He has a dislike for Austrians, though he decided that as long as they don't make problems for his homeland he can actually come to like some of them.

    STR: D
    END: E
    AGI: C
    MGI: E
    LCK: B
    NP: D


    Class Skills:

    Independent Action: A
    The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the Magical Energy supply from the Master. At the higher ranks, it is also possible to remain for extended periods of time in this world without an established contract. As Archer's legend is one of independence and defiance against authority, he receives rank high enough to remain in the world for a week without established contract.

    Magic Resistance: E
    Grants protection against magical effects that at this rank merely reduces magical damage. As Archer never encountered magic in his life, he receives only lowest rank of this skill from his class container.

    Personal Skills:

    Appleshooter: A
    Perfect accuracy born of training and experience. Possessing highest rank thanks to his legend, Archer's accuracy actually increases with difficulty of the shot he wants to take. Archer can hit the target regardless of distance and obstacles, and can shrug off mental interference that would prevent him from taking a shot with successful Luck check.

    Nature of Rebellious Spirit: D
    Temperament to never remain at one location and never embrace a lord that negates effects of Charisma of the same rank. Archer possesses low rank of this skill thanks to his legend being closely tied to defiance against Habsburg rule over Swiss lands.

    Presence Concealment: E
    Capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant. Archer cannot actually conceal himself, but thanks to his unassuming appearance, as long as he stays in crowded areas, he cannot be recognized as a Servant.

    Noble Phantasm:

    Küssnacht: Spark of Rebellion
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: D
    While Archer's legend is remembered for his act of shooting an apple off his son's head, this Noble Phantasm embodies his promise to kill the man responsible for the act should he fail. Any time Archer prepares for taking a shot, if he takes off extra bolt from his quiver, this Noble Phantasm activates. It allows Archer to escape his opponent regardless of a result of battle and prepare ambush, from which he can take a single stealth attack with his crossbow. It is not a perfect technique, as Archer's Luck clashes with Luck of his opponent and if he looses, enemy can avoid being hit.

  13. #12613
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    I wouldn't take it personally, there could be a variety of factors at play.
    That said, I do have some suggestions, if you don't mind:

    Muramasa - I'm not sure he would qualify for any class other than Caster. He's famous as a swordsmith, but not as a swordsman, and suffering from occasional bouts of fury doesn't strike me as enough qualification for Mad Enhancement; to compare with other Servants, Herakles had his legendary temper and at one point was literally possessed by divine rage, Lancelot had his Wild Man phases, and Cú Chulainn had the Warp Spasm.
    As a Caster, I think his Stats might be a bit too high, especially considering he's a relatively modern HS. I'd suggest dropping all of them by one Rank, except Agility (yes, even Mana and Luck; Mana, because he's not actually a spellcaster, and Luck, because it seems Servants associated with curses tend to not have high Luck).
    As for his Skills: based on another Caster specialized in creating specific items, Avicebron, I'd suggest increasing Item Creation to B+, but also lowering Territory Creation to B- (since it should help only with his Item Creation Skill, considering he's not actually a spellcaster). But leave out the mention of them being Noble Phantasms for his actual NP. Also, I don't think I would give him a higher Rank in Mental Pollution than the guy who raped and killed children en masse; I'd suggest lowering it (possibly to B?). Finally, why Instinct?
    I'd change his NP so that the swords start out at Rank D, instead of E, but also that they can only be strengthened with actual deaths, not just blood, and that the requirement increases exponentially just so it won't be too easy for him to charge up his swords. Also, I'd suggest changing the description so that the swords don't grant actual Skills, only that they increase their wielders' swordsmanship skills while also affecting their mind to increase their bloodlust - and that both effects increase accordingly with each sword's Rank. Finally, how long does it take for him to forge each sword?

    Methuselah - I know some of the other works in the setting, especially "Apocrypha", have opened the door for an incredible power creep, but I'd suggest not taking mythology at face value even in the Nasuverse. Consider the following: Herakles, who, according to myth, created the Strait of Gibraltar with a single kick and held up the sky, "only" has STR A. With that in mind, should Methuselah actually have STR A (counting the bonus from Natural Body), END A (Natural Body should already account for his extraordinary longevity, after all) and MANA B?
    His Skills: unless he actually displays feats of magic in the legends, I'd say nix High-Speed Divine Words. Even if you keep it, bear in mind that Medea, the granddaughter of a god who was taught magic by the actual goddess of witches, "only" had Rank A; is A+ really appropriate for Methuselah? Also, Eye of the Mind (True) is, conceptually, the Skill for heroes who started out from nothing, not naturally gifted people; is it appropriate for Methuselah, or did you add it just to boost his combat skills? Remember that with high Stats and the boost from Guardian Knight he'd already be a very difficult opponent to fight.
    I think just Anti-Army is enough to classify the NP.
    The reason Muramasa's combat stats are higher than average for the Caster class is because unlike most of them he actually has to fight physically, and so is less of a squishy wizard type by necessity. I thought I'd give him a high rank Mental Pollution because of how messed up a personality I gave him, not just because of who he was in history (if you like I could lower it to B rank though). Instinct is because it's supposed to be like "killing instinct" and mostly because I wanted one extra Skill to fill out the section. Frankly, I think making his swords only "level up" from straight-up deaths would make him too weak in a straight-up fight (considering the the sword "leveling" is pretty much the only thing that makes him a threat of any kind). For how long it takes to make a sword, probably a few days to a week depending on the quality I'd say. I see what you mean with Item Construction and Territory Creation.

    For Methuselah, I think his high stats are appropriate considering both his feats and the fact that Saber class Servants generally have hella' high stats (like Arturia under Kiritsugu for example). The description in HSDW explicitly says that it's based on all the prayers he made for God, not feats of spellcasting (like with Anderson's High-Speed Incantation which derives from how quickly he could publish books). I gave him such a high rank because he can actually make up new spells in mid-combat, which Medea shows no indication of being able to do. I might consider getting rid of EOTM though, since it wasn't in his original build anyway and I only added it to round out his sheet.
    Last edited by RoydGolden; December 16th, 2015 at 12:47 PM.

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    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    The reason Muramasa's combat stats are higher than average for the Caster class is because unlike most of them he actually has to fight physically, and so is less of a squishy wizard type by necessity.
    Oh, I figured you were going for more of a "minion master" type of character, what with the orbiting swords and the regular people being turned into mind-controlled low-tier Servants. That said, I might still suggest lowering his Stats since he would, theoretically, be relying more on the skills granted by his swords than on his natural abilities.
    Or maybe you could just turn him into a Saber and give him Item Construction as a personal Skill; there's precedent for Servants having class Skills as personal ones.

    I thought I'd give him a high rank Mental Pollution because of how messed up a personality I gave him, not just because of who he was in history (if you like I could lower it to B rank though).
    Hm, I suppose it comes down to what you think, then: do you think someone who loves war and bloodlust and takes pride in his swords specifically as killing tools is as messed-up in the head as the person who thought piling corpses was a work of art and figured he'd just unleash Cthulhu on the world as a way to give God the middle finger?

    Instinct is because it's supposed to be like "killing instinct" and mostly because I wanted one extra Skill to fill out the section.
    Hm... Ok, I can see the "killing instinct", especially since you're considering he is imparting some of himself into his swords. And if you just want to round out the personal Skills, I might suggest giving him Eye for Art specialized in swords.

    Frankly, I think making his swords only "level up" from straight-up deaths would make him too weak in a straight-up fight (considering the the sword "leveling" is pretty much the only thing that makes him a threat of any kind).
    If the swords level up just from absorbing blood, it would be easy for him to game the system: just grab a random person on the street and cut them up until the sword is Rank A+, repeat as needed. At least if he actually has to kill the person, and the number of killings required increases with every Rank, there's a chance he'll attract undue attention.

    For Methuselah, I think his high stats are appropriate considering both his feats[...]
    Which reminds me, it would be nice to add a History section to him detailing some of those.

    The description in HSDW explicitly says that it's based on all the prayers he made for God, not feats of spellcasting (like with Anderson's High-Speed Incantation which derives from how quickly he could publish books).
    I saw that, but you're still equating prayers to God with spellcasting. Did God answer his prayers and perform miracles for him in the original legends?

    I might consider getting rid of EOTM though, since it wasn't in his original build anyway and I only added it to round out his sheet.
    Servants don't tend to have that many personal Skills, though; most of them only have 2 or 3 (Medea even has only one, thanks to one of her Skills actually being useless). I'd suggest focusing more on properly reflecting the character from the legends and the needs of the story than filling out a character sheet.
    Last edited by SpoonyViking; December 16th, 2015 at 03:41 PM.

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    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Oh, I figured you were going for more of a "minion master" type of character, what with the orbiting swords and the regular people being turned into mind-controlled low-tier Servants. That said, I might still suggest lowering his Stats since he would, theoretically, be relying more on the skills granted by his swords than on his natural abilities.
    Or maybe you could just turn him into a Saber and give him Item Construction as a personal Skill; there's precedent for Servants having class Skills as personal ones.
    I thought of that actually, but I thought he'd more interesting as a Caster (plus I wanted to distinguish him more from the Kanshou and Bakuya sheet someone put up a few pages ago). I definitely didn't intend him as a "minion master" type character, that's more of a secondary effect. He was intended as a melee Caster like how Kojiro was a melee Assassin.


    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Hm... Ok, I can see the "killing instinct", especially since you're considering he is imparting some of himself into his swords. And if you just want to round out the personal Skills, I might suggest giving him Eye for Art specialized in swords..
    That's a pretty good idea. I actually considered giving him something like that but decided against it (I also thought of giving Haphaestus a Skill like that in one of my sheets from a while back).


    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    If the swords level up just from absorbing blood, it would be easy for him to game the system: just grab a random person on the street and cut them up until the sword is Rank A+, repeat as needed. At least if he actually has to kill the person, and the number of killings required increases with every Rank, there's a chance he'll attract undue attention.
    Hmm... good point. I didn't think of that at all. I intended him to be a 1-on-1 type of fighter though, with his swords being shown leveling up in the middle of combat (which would be cooler narratively then him butchering a bunch of random people off-screen and then coming in with A+ ranked swords). Maybe make it so the benefits only effect the person whom the blood was drawn from to start with? (Although that would probably have drawbacks of its own...)


    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Which reminds me, it would be nice to add a History section to him detailing some of those.
    I almost never include a History section in my sheets, sorry. I might consider adding it for this one though, considering how obscure his more heroic feats are.


    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    I saw that, but you're still equating prayers to God with spellcasting. Did God answer his prayers and perform miracles for him in the original legends?
    I just wanted to give him a Skill representing the insane amounts of prayers he made, and thought HSDW was the closest thing (would have gone with High-Speed Incantation except HSDW actually has "divine" in the name).


    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Servants don't tend to have that many personal Skills, though; most of them only have 2 or 3 (Medea even has only one, thanks to one of her Skills actually being useless). I'd suggest focusing more on properly reflecting the character from the legends and the needs of the story than filling out a character sheet.
    I might get rid of that one.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Added a History section to Methuselah just now (copypasted from a source I found on Spacebattles). Also got rid of EOTM, as per Spoony's suggestion.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Added Eye For Art (Swords) to Muramasa's sheet. Thanks Spoony!
    Last edited by RoydGolden; January 23rd, 2016 at 11:31 PM.

  16. #12616
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Thanks Spoony!
    Heh. You're welcome.

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    死徒 Dead Apostle Master of Chaos's Avatar
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    Class: Lancer (Leader)
    True Name: Mary Tudor (Mary I of England)
    Gender: Female
    Alignment: Lawful Evil

    STR: *** D
    END: *** D
    AGI: * B
    MGI: ***** C
    LCK: ***** A
    NP: * B

    Keywords
    KEYWORDS

    Anglicanism

    A Christian sect derived from the Church of England and its teachings. Along with the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church, it is one of the three largest Christian sects in the world. Also, it regards itself as standing on a middle ground (Via Media) of the two extremes represented by the Catholic Church and the Protestantism.

    The origins of Anglicanism as an independent organization can found in a series of religious conflicts that culminated with the Elizabethan Religious Settlement, when Christian sects particular from England collectively declared a definitive disconnection from Rome and its Holy See. Instead, those sects organized themselves into a new structure that had the English monarch as its highest religious authority.

    This Servant is closely related to the process of formation of this Anglicanism, but it seems that she holds mixed feelings about it.

    La Peregrina (Wandering Jewel)

    One of the most famous jewels in the world. A perfectly symmetrical tear-shaped pearl weighting over 10 grams, it is usually set as a part of a pendant or a brooch to be wear on the body.

    A relic with over 500 years of history, it was originally found by African slaves in Central America. Later, it became the prized possession of many kings and queens of Europe, going as far as being included as part of the crown jewels of a certain kingdom. Its name alludes to the fact that it travelled all over the world as it changed hands between many owners.

    According to Lancer’s own testimony, this La Peregrina was something she possessed while alive and it would gain attributes as a strong Noble Phantasm if it were to return to her hands. However, considering how she displays a very “rich lady-like” soft spot for beautiful jewels, one cannot help but question the authenticity of that statement.


    CLASS SKILLS

    Magic Resistance: A
    The capacity to negate or abate the effects of Magecraft. Cancels all Magecraft of A Rank (High-Thaumaturgy that makes use of magic circles and Instantaneous Contracts) and below. Therefore, she cannot be injured by modern magi. In case of a single stroke, she may even hold back the coercion of the Command Spell.

    The inherent Magic Resistance of the Lancer-Class was reinforced by the divine protection of her faith. However, as a side effect, it suffers a major Rank-DOWN when dealing with the sacraments of the Church.

    ...if a Leader

    Military Tactics: E
    Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one’s own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.


    PERSONAL SKILLS

    Baptism Chant: B
    A magecraft that had its format changed into the Church-style. A simplified ritual that sublimates lost souls by means of God's teachings, sending them to the proper "place" where they ought to return. Physical interference power is feeble, but it exerts a tremendous effect towards spiritual bodies. In addition, its efficacy for dispelling curses is also high.

    Charisma: B
    The natural talent to command an army corps. Raises the abilities of one's own army on group battles. A rare talent. For the king (queen) of a country, B Rank is adequate.

    Grace of God: C
    The "beauty of royalty". The greatest body and good looks, granted only to those born with the god-given right to rule over people. A composite Skill that combines the effects of "Divine Protection" and "Natural Body". By means of a blessing from Divine Spirits, any and all abnormal conditions (changes) that compromise the integrity・beauty of the body are repelled.

    Protection of the Faith: A
    A Skill possessed only by those who have sacrificed themselves for a religious view. Despite being a form of Divine Protection, it is not a blessing from a higher existence. It is only the absoluteness of one’s body and soul, which is born from faith… but if it is too high, it causes abnormalities in the personality.

    NOBLE PHANTASM

    Bloody Mary – Baptism by Fire
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Lancer’s weapon-of-choice, a burned-black wooden stake covered in dried blood. A conceptual Noble Phantasm that has given shape to the most significant, infamous deed she performed in life. The incarnation of the repeated oppression and public executions which would later be known as the “Marian persecutions”.

    Despite its fragile appearance, it properly functions as a blunt weapon. Once its True Name is released, the stake becomes wrapped in scorching flames. Said flames are the fires of purgatory that purge all sins told in Christian scriptures. Additional damage is inflicted against enemies that possess traits as heretics・blasphemers・apostates. Conversely, effect drops greatly towards pious believers and it is pretty much harmless against those with no sin.

    This is a digression, but in Portuguese and Spanish-speaking cultures, the deed of burning sinners at the stake was once called “auto-de-fé” (act of faith) and regarded as a ritual of penance, repentance instead of simply a capital punishment. Similarly, Catholic doctrine preaches that the fires of purgatory exist not to extinguish the dammed, but to purify the souls of those worthy of salvation in preparation to their entry in Heavens.

    Background

    BACKGROUND

    A problem child from the House of Tudor. Born in February 18, 1516, Mary was, in practice, the only daughter of King Henry VIII and his first wife, Catherine of Aragon (all the other children of the couple were stillborn). Reared to be a devout Catholic by her mother, but her zealotry would later become the source of many tragedies.

    A talented woman. Thanks to the first-rate education she received as a child, Mary became accomplished in many arts and sciences upon reaching adulthood. According to records, she was also fluent in multiple foreign languages, including French, Latin and Spanish. Also, she gambled at cards as a hobby and was rumored to be quite the cunning player.

    That being said, her youth was a troubled one. Although doted by her father, she was nevertheless caught in the political crossfire of his attempts to separate from her mother. Queen Catherine’s inability to bear a son placed King Henry in the delicate position of having Mary as his only heir at a time when there was no established precedent of a woman raising to the throne. Thus, he hoped to separate from Catherine and marry with someone who could give him a male successor.

    Unfortunately for King Henry, the Catholic Church rejected his requests to have the marriage with Queen Catherine annulled – a necessary procedure in order to ensure that any son he might have with another woman would be recognized as his legitimate heir. Eventually, circumstances forced Henry’s hand into passing the legislation known as Acts of Supremacy, which broke relations with the Holy See and recognized the King as the highest authority regarding religious matters in England. This event would later set the foundations of Anglican Church that is known today.

    For Mary, this whole affair signed her fall from grace. Free from the restrains of the Church, King Henry made his marriage with Queen Catherine void and exiled her from the royal palace. Consequentially, Mary herself was branded as illegitimate and had her status as a princess revoked. Although she was allowed to remain as part of the high-nobility, from then on she was seen as nothing but a nuisance for the rest of the court.

    Prohibited from ever meeting her mother and forced to live in an environment where she only had enemies, the following years were arduous for Mary. At one point, she was deprived of most of her noble privileges and demoted to a mere lady-in-waiting for her younger half-sister Elizabeth, born from Henry’s second marriage with Anne Boleyn. Still, when Anne lost the King’s favor due also being unable to bear him a son and was eventually executed, Elizabeth too lost her standing on the court and was placed in the same situation as Mary. Their shared tragedy served as an incentive for the two sisters to make amends with each other.

    Ironically, the one who saved the two girls from such predicament was Henry’s third wife, Jane Seymour. Possessing greater power over her husband than any of the previous Queens, she pressed the King to reconcile with his daughters. Henry accepted begrudgingly accepted, restoring the girls to their status as princesses. It is unknown what sort of relationship Mary had with Queen Jane, but testimonies tell that she openly mourned when the older woman died giving birth to Prince Edward VI.

    Bloodstained Queen

    After Henry’s death, his son Edward ascended to the throne. The new King endeavored to continue the religious reforms that his own father had started – something that put at odds with Mary, who was a faithful to the Catholic traditions. The issue would become a constant source of conflict between the two throughout Edward’s reign. When the King met an untimely death due to disease, he attempted to prevent his older sister from taking his place in the throne by giving it to a political ally in his will. However, Mary managed to have said will overruled and successfully obtained the crown.

    Upon becoming the first queen regnant of England, Mary immediately pushed to undo the work done by her father and half-brother. She sought to make Catholicism into a full-fledged state religion, and fought purposefully against its enemies within English borders. Under her reign, the relationship between England and the Holy See was reestablished and Protestant religious practices were all but outlawed. Those who defied this were branded as heretics and burned at the stake.

    (Incidentally, it is believed this severe treatment towards heretics was a direct consequence of the rearing given by her mother. While alive, Queen Catherine herself had been greatly influenced by the teachings and ideologies of her father – King Ferdinand II, one of the main architects of the infamous Spanish Inquisition).

    Eventually, just like her brother before her, Mary had her life robbed by disease. For the sake of the nation, she left the crown in the capable hands of Elizabeth, even while knowing that it would mean the undoing of all her religious reforms. Despite her differences, she trusted that her sister would do what was best for England and its people.

    Having turned into a Heroic Spirit, Queen Mary continues to fight in order to punish sins and bring God's salvation to people. Still, when asked about her wish for the Holy Grail, she will give a surprisingly personal answer. All she desires is to realize a trivial, small miracle that was never granted to her while alive – to become a mother herself.
    Last edited by Master of Chaos; May 18th, 2016 at 10:03 AM.

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    Unless you're Justin Bieber, Canada didn't want him, but America refuses to claim responsibility
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    Eric Cartman: A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.

  18. #12618
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Interesting to see that I'm not the only one who had the idea of doing a Mary Tudor sheet. Though mine was a Berserker, emphasizing the "Bloody Mary" portion of her legend (she even had Innocent Monster as a Personal Skill representing her conflation with the urban legend). Wouldn't imagine her as a Lancer in particular, though your NP idea was clever, I admit. Besides it's not like Vlad ever really used a lance/spear much either, so if he can be a Lancer class Servant by impaling people on a stake I don't see why she can't be one by burning them on a stake. The only thing I take some issue with was her having Charisma as a Personal Skill, when I think historians generally agree that she lacked the natural charisma of a monarch (but made up for it with a more maternal ability to inspire loyalty). Her wish being to bear the child she never could in life is an interesting idea, though. I'm liking that.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also her Magic Resistance is very high for a pretty modern Heroic Spirit (although you did try to justify it). Something to think about.
    Last edited by RoydGolden; April 6th, 2016 at 02:18 PM.

  19. #12619
    死徒 Dead Apostle Master of Chaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Interesting to see that I'm not the only one who had the idea of doing a Mary Tudor sheet. Though mine was a Berserker, emphasizing the "Bloody Mary" portion of her legend (she even had Innocent Monster as a Personal Skill representing her conflation with the urban legend). Wouldn't imagine her as a Lancer in particular, though your NP idea was clever, I admit. Besides it's not like Vlad ever really used a lance/spear much either, so if he can be a Lancer class Servant by impaling people on a stake I don't see why she can't be one by burning them on a stake. The only thing I take some issue with was her having Charisma as a Personal Skill, when I think historians generally agree that she lacked the natural charisma of a monarch (but made up for it with a more maternal ability to inspire loyalty). Her wish being to bear the child she never could in life is an interesting idea, though. I'm liking that.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also her Magic Resistance is very high for a pretty modern Heroic Spirit (although you did try to justify it). Something to think about.

    As far as I see, if you can make people follow you (whatever as "monarch" or as a "mother" as you put it), then you have charisma.

    As for the Magic Resistance, it follows the same reasoning of what happened with the two Rulers - Jeanne and Amakusa: Class ability boasted by power of faith, but in exchange does not work well against the miracles of one's own faith.

    Master of Chaos' Servant Standards

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    quote for higher truth
    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkeye View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    Get famous in America, you're American. That's literally how America works.
    Unless you're Justin Bieber, Canada didn't want him, but America refuses to claim responsibility
    Quote Originally Posted by In a certain South Park episode...
    Kyle Broflovski: And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator?
    Eric Cartman: A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.

  20. #12620
    Never quacked for this Kyte's Avatar
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    Translating all those profiles has had an impact, huh. It reads a lot like your translations. :V

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