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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #13341
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Here's something I haven't tried yet, a Caster that actually used magic!


    Class: Caster
    True Name: Faust 'The Superior Magus'
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: Germany

    Strength- E
    Endurance- E
    Agility- C
    Mana- A
    Luck- D
    NP- B+

    Height/Weight: 189cm/63kg

    Likes: Short cuts, Easy success
    Dislikes: Effort, Constant Irritation
    Talent: Deal Making, Long term planning
    Natural Enemy: Mephistopheles

    Class Skills:

    • Territory Creation (B) - Creation of a "Workshop" becomes possible.


    • Item Construction (B) - Caster is capable of creating powerful Mystic Codes of all kinds that surpass those created with modern Magecraft.


    Personal Skills:
    • Boon of the Fiend (B) - A skill reserved for those who made a deal with a demon for knowledge and power. In Faust's case, the Magecraft skill gains a Rank Up while reducing his luck parameter.
    • Magecraft (A+) - Knowledge of modern thaumaturgy. Though originally a powerful magus, Faust possesses an even higher grade of both circuits and magic through his deal with Mephistopheles. Because of this, Faust is easily capable of accomplishing any modern age magecraft quickly and with minimal effort. However his true talent lies within Spiritual Evocation, allowing for the summoning many utility and combat familiars.


    Noble Phantasm

    • Staff of Purgatory Guardian of the Soul (Support) (B+) - The crystallisation of Faust's final and greatest defining moment. As Mephistopheles tried to kill Faust and devour his soul, angelic beings appeared to ward of the homunculus and protect Faust's soul as he escaped the pits of hell. As such Faust can summon a group of powerful holy beings he refers to as 'Angels'. He can summon up to five at a time and together they are as powerful as one or two servants. However he cannot have them materialised for too long as they quickly drain his mana supply. They are particularly effective against 'Evil' aligned beings.


    Lore

    Faust is a brilliant individual who; despite his genius, is quick to take the short cuts in life. Yet these short cuts had, before his deal with Mephistopheles, lead to a quick and beneficial success. If he had simply lived out his life as normal he would have died a rich man, probably surrounded by loved ones sired through a long life. In his early life, wanting to master a greater form of magecraft than one could ever manage in one generation, he coined a single homunculus, named him Mephistopheles and was greatly affectionate to it and thus began the contract that would span the rest of Faust's life.

    Yet despite all his wisdom and fantastical power, Faust led a sour existence, constantly disrupted and hounded by Mephistopheles, who prevented success at every turn; the death of his love Gretchen and his efforts to serve mankind with his magecraft. He could never escape from the demon would be there every step of the way.

    At the eleventh hour on his deathbed, the homunculus Mephistopheles hung over him yet Faust muttered a single sentence.

    "I win demon."

    With the great knowledge and power Mephistopheles had granted to Faust, he had learned of the 'Throne of Heroes'. Faust's journey together with the homunculus; all the humiliation and failure he had to endure produced a solid ripple so that he could just squeeze his way in. Faust laughed at the homunculus while it choked the last of his life out in anger. He took the boon and escaped his demons while he ascended to a higher plane of existence.

    All according to plan.



    I haven't seen a sheet for this guy yet which is a shame, I like to think I did him justice. Like to.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; April 23rd, 2016 at 12:48 PM. Reason: Image embeding

  2. #13342
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Looks good, but I'm not sure his Territory Creation deserves to be at A.
    Paracelsus pre-"Grand Order" only had High-Speed Incantation as his casting Skill, I'd say your Faust wouldn't need both HSI and Magecraft. That said, while HSI would definitely improve his usefulness in a combat situation, I'm not sure it's justified by the original story. I'd suggest removing HSI and letting him have Magecraft A+ (specialised in Spirit Evocation) so that he can fight basically by summoning a bunch of spirits to fight for him (and then summoning the angels when everything goes to hell).

  3. #13343
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    I gave him HSI as part of the pact of Mephistopheles as it boosted power and knowledge so I figured it was justified, though I may change it depending if others agree that it's not. I'll probably boost Magecraft to A+ tomorrow but I wan't sure about the ranking for it as EMIYA had C- (as he could only really do one or two things) and Fionn had B (largely due to the boons that he possessed from the Salmon of Knowledge).

  4. #13344
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Hmmm... Well, that's not an unreasonable assumption in the Nasuverse. Though if you keep HSI, I believe you should drop Magecraft.
    Last edited by SpoonyViking; February 28th, 2016 at 06:49 PM.

  5. #13345
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    If you want him to have a skill that represents the boon Mephistopheles gave him, you could just create a new skill.

    Here, I'll do it for you.

    The Fiend's Gift/Curse: B
    A skill reserved for those who made a deal with a fiend/demon/whatever for knowledge.
    It boosts his Magecraft skill by one rank, but in exchange it lowers his luck parameter.

    ...
    ...as you can see, I didn't put very much effort into the description.
    Certified F/GO hater.

    My Servants


    The starting penalty is five.


  6. #13346
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the feedback Spoony and Crying, I'll get to it after work.

  7. #13347
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Yeah, i finished it. I have been sitting on this one more than Dom Henrique. Like months in it. I'm a really slow writer, and because this was actually my first attempt of a biography, this took me ages
    Warning. It's wank. Heavily inspired by the little we know of Koha-Ace Tokugawa's Ieyasu. I tried to balance it but i have no idea how it ended up becoming. This probably will not have many pictures compared to Dom Henrique, because its tough finding all the pics for this concept to work, but here we go


    Saver
    Faceclaim
    Info
    True Name:Tokugawa Ieyasu, Matsudaira Takechiyo, Honda Tadakatsu, Hattori Hanzo, Naomasa Ii, Sakikabara Yasumasa, Sakai Tadatsugu, Torii Mototada etc...
    Also known as: Crafty Tanuki, Great Gongen, Light of the East.
    Gender: Male(Most of the time)
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Source: Historical Fact
    Region: Japan
    Likes: His Clan, His Comrades, Peace, Oda Nobunaga, Japan, Waiting, The singing of the Bird
    Dislikes: Chaos, War, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, Oda Nobunaga
    Parameters and Skills
    STR: E-A
    END: E-A
    AGI: E-A
    MGI: E-A
    LCK: E-A


    Class Skills


    Counter Hero
    D - This skill imposes a parameter down effect upon any 'Hero' that the Servant faces in combat. A class ability inherent to Servants of the Saver class. Saver reduces the parameters of opponents in one rank, effectively reducing an A ranked parameter to an A-. In the case the opponent is an "Antihero" the parameters are only momentarily effected

    Charisma
    A++ - is the natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rare talent, and an ability inherent to Servants of the Saver class. It is said that a rank of B in this skill is sufficient to lead a nation as its King. with this rank it is no longer popularity, but rather a kind of spell (curse) in itself.


    Personal Skills


    Expert of Many Specializations
    EX - This skill is represents one ability to access and use many expert skills. Tokugawa has access to a near infinite amount of skills. He can utilize the skills of those that worked for the Tokugawa clan. This translates to 200 years of history worth of Skills, used by some of the greatest heroes of Japanese History. Amongst some of those skills involved are: Swordmanship, Military Tactics, Horsemanship, Political Maneuvering, Administration, Japanese Martial Arts, Voyager of the Storm, Markmanship, Falconry, Blacksmithing, Academia, Espionage, Assassination, Shinto Magic, Buddhist Magic,Golden Rule and etc. Tokugawa can even add up these skills to strenghten them to levels never achieved during his shogunate.


    Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig
    C - This skill is supposed to grant protection to one who has reached "the Truth of the World" or "the Answer of Humanity" -- a Protection Against Purging (対粛清防御, Tai-Shukusei Bōgyo?) that marks the Servant as a "Protector of the World." Because Tokugawa has not achieved that answer by himself and rather found a way into enlightenment through magic realized after his death. Rather than being considered a "Protector of the World" because of his status as a fake "Boddhistava" and his NP he is rather considered to be a "Jailer of the World". This skills shuts out 100% Mental Interference gives him diminished Protection Against Purging and allows him to reduces the damage dealt by physical attacks, conceptual attacks, and interdimensional attacks by a value equivalent to half of the Servant's HP.
    Biography and Lore
    "If the cuckoo does not sing, wait for it."


    One of the famous three unifiers of Japan during the Sengoku Period. The one that could be considered the winner of the long period of civil war, the one that unified the country and created institutions that allowed a long period of relative peace that lasted more than 200 years. Born from the minor Matsudaira clan, made a political hostage to the Imagawa clan at the age of 5, Ieyasu waited and waited while growing strength. He waited through good times, he waited through terrible losses, he waited through the years and finally when all of his rivals were dead and buried 7 feet underground, Tokugawa stroke with a smile. There was no one left that could fight against Tokugawa and his clans. Last stands were made but alas the long struggle finally ended with Tokugawa hearing the cuckoo singing.


    Much has been said about Tokugawa perseverance and patience. Too many Ieyasu victory at the end felt unjust compared with the other warlords who were more military accomplished like his two predecessors: Oda Nobunaga and Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Nevertheless for all his patience and his apparent cordiality compared to his two predecessors Tokugawa hid a fairly hotblooded side inside him and is just a simple country boy at heart. His apparent face of complete peace and this hotblooded side of him with the capacity to hold grudges for years made his childhood friend, Oda Nobunaga, give him the nickname of "Crafty Tanuki"


    Besides his craftiness Tokugawa's greatest weapon was his clan. Made in its majority by men of the province of Mikawa, the Tokugawa soldiers were a simple, rustic but incredible group of warriors. The closest things to elite soldiers during the Sengoku period, the Tokugawa army started small but made with some of the greatest warriors of its time. Later Tokugawa would add survivors and people he deemed useful to his army, including here the Iga and Koga Ninja, creating one of the most effective armies of the period. The Tokugawa clan was fiercely loyal to Ieyasu and would easily give their lives to help Ieyasu. Some of these notable warriors, heroic spirits on their own are: Torii Mototada, Hattori Hanzo, Inahime, Sanada Nobuyuki, Honda Masanobu and Tokugawa's Four Heavenly Kings: Sakai Tadatsugu, Sakakibara Yasumasa, Ii Naomasa, and the "samurai amongst samurai" Honda Tadakatsu.


    There were times however where Ieyasu acted against his famous persona. One of those times almost ended fatally for him. The battle of Mikatagahara against the Takeda was Ieyasu's greatest loss and almost ended up with the death and complete annihilation of Tokugawa and his Clan. Ignoring the advice of many advisors not only from his clan but also from the Oda Clan, Ieyasu forced a battle against a Takeda army that was crossing his territory. The end result of this battle was the almost destruction of the Tokugawa army by the Cavalry of Takeda and a frantic and desperate retreat by Tokugawa and a small number of remnants, that managed to trick the pursuing Takeda army. That defeat was so catastrophic that a common legend that has been passed through is that Ieyasu actually died during said battle and was replaced by a kagemusha - body double - who led the Tokugawa clan.


    Real life is weirder than fiction. Tokugawa was not only fatally wounded during the battle he was replaced not just by one body double and after the event the character of "Tokugawa Ieyasu" would be played by many different people in different times. In fact the amount of Kagemusha is something unheard of: the entire clan were body doubles. Of course, this wasnt an immediate process. After the battle only the most loyal of soldiers knew this. In his deathbed Ieyasu passed to what would become the Four Heavenly Kings the mission to continue his dream of unification. So initially that first group begun to impersonate Ieyasu thanks to the help of Hanzo Hattori, arguably the greatest of the Ninja. That small group with the years begun to grow should Ieyasu need to showcase a new talent. Soon, what was only a select group grown into a huge group of people dedicated to ensure the survival of Ieyasu's dream. Outside of the clan, only a small group of people knew, like Oda Nobunaga for example, but because of the effectiveness of the men of Mikawa Nobunaga choose to ignore it: As long as they helped him in his unification through militarization then there was no problem.


    The seemingly impossible turned possible and "Tokugawa Ieyasu" unified the country. Thanks to "Tokugawa"'s unusual status he couldn't be the shogun for long, and soon the clan decided to pass the power to Hidetada, one of Ieyasu's sons. But that was not the end of Tokugawa Ieyasu. After the unification the Tokugawa clan had the opportunity to realize the dream lent to them. Tokugawa Ieyasu saw back when he was alive, where Nobunaga's dreams would lead his country to: Eternal War. And while Tokugawa had all the respect in the world for Nobunaga, even bordering on love, and was willing to serve her under this eternal state of warfare, deep insided he craved a peace that Nobunaga would never be able to gift Japan. So on his deathbed he gave a mission to the Tokugawa Clan: Unify this country and return the gods. Only the gods had enough strenght to make sure no war would happen on their beloved soil


    And so the Tokugawa Clan went and did it. But they did not just return the gods. They created a new one. One that could make sure that no major dispute could happen. One that could make sure that no beast or demon could once again rule over mankind. One that would cradle Japan in a peaceful dream. Tokugawa Ieyasu ascended.
    Noble Phantasms
    Tokugawa Ieyasu
    The House of Peace at the Bamboo River

    Tokugawa Ieyasu's Noble Phantasm is Tokugawa Ieyasu himself. The promising lord who died an early death, the clan that carried his dreams fowards, and the buddha who watched over Japan, all these identities mix together in to create the legend that is Tokugawa Ieyasu. This NP is the link created by Ieyasu and his followers, a link possibly stronger than anyone else, that made it possible for Ieyasu to achieve his dream even after death through his comrades. Ieyasu as a servant is then would be better understood as not just "Tokugawa Ieyasu" but rather the entire Tokugawa Clan in a single human body. While Ieyasu's is definitively the dominant personality of the servant, deep inside him there's a near infinite number of subjects, ready to help their lord in any way possible. The NP is directly related to his Expert of Many Specializations skill. While that skill allows Tokugawa Ieyasu to be nearly invincible, normally he is not able to use the full number of skills at his disposal, but he is rather limited in number and categories of skills, as utilizing all those skills requires nothing short of the Holy Grail to fuel the Servant. With this Noble Phantasm then, Tokugawa is able to regulate his skills into sets, that represent members and allies of the Tokugawa Clan. When accessing these "sets" Tokugawa's height, weight and even gender will change to match the "set" additionally when accessing these sets Ieyasu skills, status and even class will change to better match. His personality will also slightly change to better match the original personality of Ieyasu's retainer, especially for those Ieyasu deeply cares about, but the dominant personality will most of the times be Ieyasu. While Ieyasu has a near infinite number of sets that he is able to pick and chose from, Ieyasu has his own personal favorites that he likes to use. Those are the following

    (Some of the sets)

    The Sleeping Sun

    CLASS: ----
    STR: E
    END: E
    AGI: E
    MGI: C
    LCK: A
    Skills: (Charisma, Pretty Boy of Rosy Cheeks, Powerless Husk)
    Info:This is Ieyasu's default set. Based around himself back when he was just Matsudaira Takechiyo, a child and a political hostage, this set reduces the prana usage by him to a minimum, while in exchange loses any sort of combat capability. The only thing that is left is the charisma that made the men and woman of Mikawa flock to him from the beginning


    The Rising Sun
    Class: Saber
    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MGI: B
    LCK: D
    Skills: (Charisma, Magic Resistance, Military Tactics, Yagyu Kenjutsu Techniques, Riding, Falconry, Eye of the Mind(False))
    Info: Based on the his career shortly his death, where he was just hitting his stride. His default battle set. Here Tokugawa becomes a fairly decent servant that is able to fight against most servants. He is able to use many high-level sword techniques by drawing skills from the Yagyu clan that personally taught swordmanship to all Tokugawa Shoguns. He is equipped with a set of Swords that while are fairly durable are not Noble Phantasms


    The King that Guards the North
    Class: Lancer
    STR: A+
    END: A+
    AGI: D
    MGI: D
    LCK: A
    Skills: (Bravery, Magic Resistance, Guardian Knight, Eternal Arms Mastership)
    Info: Based on Tokugawa Ieyasu's greatest friends and member of the Tokugawa's Four Heavenly Kings, Honda Tadakatsu, and is normally Tokugawa's Ieyasu greatest combat set. With this Tokugawa grows size and muscle considerably and comes equipped with Honda's famous outfit and weapon, though here it has no special effect like it would have if Honda himself were summoned as a Servant. In this form, Tokugawa becomes more stoic than usual. Also it seems that he becomes really fond of strong women. Especially single moms. Keep this a secret to Naomasa Ii


    The King that Charges the East
    Class: Rider
    STR: A++
    END: D
    AGI: A
    MGI: E
    LCK: E
    Skills: (Riding, Instinct, Battle Continuation, Bravery, Berserk)
    Info: Based on another member of Tokugawa's Four Heavenly Kings and the youngest of the bunch, the "Red Devil" Naomasa Ii, and its used by Tokugawa when he desires to blitzkrieg through the enemy. Here Tokugawa gains multiple scars and equips the red armour that made Naotora infamous. With this set also comes a Horse, much faster than normal Horses that Tokugawa can use with proficiency. Tokugawa becomes much more hotblooded here which is a far cry from his usual personality. Also he unlike the previous set it seems that he becomes really weak against strong women. It seems to bring some repressed memories of Naomasa's childhood. Single Mom are scary aren't they Naomasa? Nurturing big sisters where it at. Yeah, like Honda Tadakatsu's teenager daughter, but lets keep this a secret shall we?


    The King that Overlooks the West
    Class: Caster
    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: A
    LCK: A
    Skills: (Territory Creation, Item Creation, Military Tactics, Command of the Strategist, Buddhist Magic)
    Info: Based on Sakakibara Yasumasa, another of the Tokugawa's Four Heavenly Kings, and probably the greatest overall general and tactician of the bunch. He is a rare fighting caster that fights on the frontlines and is able to bring the best of his allies. Used by Ieyasu when he wants to act a more supportive role. Physically Ieyasu's build changes to an unassuming man and personally wise he seems to become especially humble with this set. He enjoys bonsais and long walks at morning. Just an overall nice guy. Behind his plain facade he is apparently into some really kinky stuff.


    The King that Confuses the South
    Class: Archer
    STR: B
    END: E
    AGI: A
    MGI: D
    LCK: A
    Skills: (Independent Action, Magic Resistance, Disengage, Subversive Activities, Clairvoyance)
    Info: Based on the last of the Tokugawa's Four Heavenly Kings, Sakai Tadatsugu, that was known for his trickery in the battlefield, with the constant uses of many ruses that saved the Tokugawa clan from certain anihilation, the most notable one being the one employed at Mikatagahara the allowed Ieyasu to survive initially and pass his dream for his clan. For being tricky dude Sakai set combat wise is remarkably strong, giving strong arms to Ieyasu that is now able to shoot swords from his bow. While using this set Ieyasu becomes much more sarcastic than usual, and now likes to play a loner. Deep inside though, Ieyasu can feel the remorse that comes from wearing this set, the remorse of one that was unable to save his lord even after using tricks in his mind. Also surprisingly old fashioned with the girls.


    The Dead King that rests in the Center
    Class: Berserker
    STR: B
    END: A++
    AGI: C
    MGI: E
    LCK: E
    Skills: (Mad Enhancement, Bravery, Honor of the Battered, Attendant of Iron)
    Info: The set that represents Torii Mototada, one of Tokugawa Ieyasu's closest friend and unnoficial member of the Four Heavenly Kings. Mototada once a brilliant man, was one of the person most affected by Ieyasu's demise. Since that event he begun to felt great shame for allowing Ieyasu to die and stopped caring about his appearance, throwing himself into battles seemingly without a care for his body and even fasting himself, which leads to Ieyasu becoming incredibly ghastly when using this set. It was his sacrifice prior to the battle of Sekigahara that allowed the Tokugawa clan to emerge victory once and for all. Ieyasu is glad but also hurt by Mototada lack of care for his life, so he will always feels guilty when using his set which coupled with Mototada own guilt makes Ieyasu a very moody dude when using this set. Has a nice smile.


    The Shadow that walks amongst the Kings.
    Class: Assassin
    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: A
    MGI: B
    LCK: B
    Skills: (Presence Concealment, Planning, Shadow Lantern, The Art of the Shinobi)
    Info: This set represents "The Demon" Hanzo Hattori, the leader of Tokugawa's Ninja division, One of Ieyasu's greatest confidant, and also a girl. Acted like a nurturing but strict teacher for most of his life, and eventually ended up falling secretly in love for Ieyasu, Hanzo was arguably the greatest master on the art of the Ninja in history and at her peak it would be more fair to compare her to a Phantasmal Beast than a Human. By herself she probably could change the tides of entire military campaigns. The death of Ieyasu holds heavy on her mind. While Tokugawa is normally okay with changing gender through his Noble Phantasm, learning much later after death that she fell in love with him made things very embarrassing for Tokugawa. It's the forbidden student-teacher releationship!!!


    (Some other sets)

    These are Tokugawa's most favorite and special sets, that holds dear to his heart. But again, Ieyasu can bring other sets if he wishes to do it. Childs, Grannies, Courtesans, Blacksmiths, Monks, Cripples, the Tokugawa Clan spread over 200 years and there are many followers, that are willing to help Ieyasu. Tokugawa Ieyasu will for the most part though, not have much of their personality influenced like those past sets. The only time Ieyasu is not the dominant personality is when Ieyasu for some reason loses his conscience and if they're in danger. When that happens the entire collective of the Tokugawa clan will try to assume direct control over Ieyasu's body and will do whatever it takes to save their lord from immediate danger. Its almost impossible to reason with Tokugawa when that happens and while it will probably not try to attack people that Ieyasu deems as friends, they will do whatever it takes to survive, including trying to get all the skills necessary for the job which might result in a massive prana drain to their master. And that consumption of Prana, is probably Ieyasu's greatest problem as a servant, as even if the sets are somewhat economical, changing between them costs a lot and its not something that should be done constantly at will tire both Ieyasu and their Master. But like mentioned previously, if Tokugawa is able to get a hold of an enormous prana battery, then he will be able to use his powers to their full potential and forcefully guide the world through a new era


    The Light That Guides All
    Class:Saver
    STR: A
    END: A
    AGI: A
    MGI: B
    LCK: A
    Skill: (Counter Hero, Charisma, Expert of Many Specializations, Enlightenment of the Fig)
    Info: The Ultimate form, Tōshō Daigongen, incredibly prana expensive, Buddha that has access to the full range of the Expert of Many Specializations skill. Just by activating this form, Ieyasu begins to change the surrounding locations. Ieyasu will begin to forcefully transform the surroundings into his idyllic dream. Flora and Fauna will rapidly spawn entangling everything in its verdant growth. Ieyasu will eventually begun to open a hole that links this world to the other side, and unless he is stopped before getting used to his full power he will be able to bring all sorts of Phantasmal Beasts out of that hole and control them for their binding. This grasp on the world, the forcefully change through force is the "Sakoku". The land will be unifed and set in place, by the Great Light either she likes it or not
    Rank EX - Anti-Unit(Self)

    Well there you go.
    What a mess.
    I really tried my best at this one, heres hoping you guys enjoy this one.
    I also had fun writing the personalities for Tokugawa's buddies. What a bunch of goofballs
    Last edited by JetKinen; February 29th, 2016 at 09:40 AM.

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  8. #13348
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    I won't lie: that's a really wanked Servant. But it's also a very fun one!
    That said, I only know the basics about the real Ieyasu, so I can't really comment on whether this fits any of the stories about him. :-P

  9. #13349
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Fits with his Koha Ace info, wherein his NP lets him switch between classes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  10. #13350
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Saver is a little wanked, which you did admit to. It does fit with his Koha-Ace info which is pretty good and he was fun to read. Then again all Saver's are OP.

    I've taken feedback and edited Faust if anyone wants to take another look.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; February 29th, 2016 at 04:11 PM.

  11. #13351
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Ah, you used my skill.

    That's nice.

    You didn't change his luck parameter, though.

    --EDIT--

    Okay, so I've made this Cleopatra Servant sheet, but I can't think up a Noble Phantasm for her.

    Any ideas?

    Class: Caster
    Master:
    True Name:
    Cleopatra, Queen of Beauty
    Sex: Female
    Height/Weight: 152cm/90kg
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Appearance/Faceclaim: Oh, there’s lots of things I could do for a faceclaim. I could use this… or this… or this… Which do you guys think I should use? The outfits are a bit too skimpy for my liking, but they are more or less what I had in mind.

    Strength: E
    Endurance: D
    Agility: C
    Magical Energy: A
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Class Skills:
    Item Construction: B
    Caster is capable of making a wide range of Mystic Codes.

    Territory Creation: A
    Creation of a "Temple", which is superior to a "Workshop", becomes possible.

    Personal Skills:
    Beauty of Legend: A
    Similar in nature to Innocent Monster, where the perception of the people in the future affects the existence of Heroic Spirit, Beauty of Legend is a skill held by Servants whose body and good looks has been exaggerated over the course of time.

    Analogous to an equivalent rank in Grace of God.

    Familiars (Snakes): D
    They can be directed by thought alone, without need for a contract.

    Divine Soul: B
    A skill held by Servants who was the human avatar of a Divine Spirit in life. Much like the Divinity skill, it reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the skill’s rank. It can also break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig much like the Divinity skill. If the Servant with Divine Soul comes into contact with a Skill or Noble Phantasm which in any way interacts with the Divinity Skill, they are counted as not having it and being 100% human.

    As it turns out, the legends of Cleopatra being the avatar of Isis were not unfounded.

    Charisma: A+
    In life it was not Cleopatra’s beauty which made her so desired, but her charm, charisma, sense of humour and intelligence. Even now, centuries after her death, people are still captivated by her and her story.

    Noble Phantasm:
    Thea Afypnisi, Goddess' Awakening: EX (Anti-Self, Anti-Master)
    Caster's nature as the Avatar of Isis is fully realized, turning her from the Heroic Spirit Cleopatra into the Divine Spirit Isis. This, quite obviously makes her incredibly powerful.

    All her stats rank up twice, her
    Divine Soul skill is replaced by an EX-Rank in Divinity and she gains an A+++ rank in High-Speed Divine Words.

    However, no magus could ever keep a Divine Spirit in the world and her Master is all but guaranteed to die of prana drain within a minute if the contract is not broken or the Noble Phantasm deactivated.

    Thea Philopator, Goddess who Loves her Father: C (Anti-Unit)
    This Noble Phantasm is a representation of the events in which Cleopatra had her sibling's killed off so that she could both claim the throne (and stop them from doing the same to her).

    This manifests itself in the form of a reinforcement she can apply to others. This reinforcement grants the recipient 10x the amount of strength, agility and endurance of a regular human being.

    Ordinarily, despite this allowing a human being to fight on the level of a Servant or provide a rank up to three of a Servant's stats, it would not qualify as a Noble Phantasm.

    What does allow it to qualify itself as a Noble Phantasm is that it grants the recipient a rank of D in Presence Concealment and a rank of E in Murderer of the Misty Night, effectively allowing Caster to create her own version of Servant Assassin.
    Last edited by Crying; March 4th, 2016 at 06:49 PM. Reason: So. Much. Formatting.
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  12. #13352
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    If you're uncertain of a faceclaim, there's one I found here http://asuka111.deviantart.com/art/Cleopatra-289774073

    The skills seem good, but there is the lack of the NP. Here's two I whipped up quickly

    • Apophis Poison of The Nile (Anti-Unit) (D) - Cleopatra 's snakes come in handy with this little trick hers. She can summon a special snake, which is said to be a Golden snake of normal size, that can poison the opponent, killing the target within seconds. It is said that the purple snake is very faster and slick, so this small creature can usually get a bite off on its opponent.
    • Apophis Poison of The Nile (Anti-Unit) (D) - Cleopatra 's snakes come in handy with this little trick hers. She can summon a special snake, which is said to be a purple snake of normal size, that can poison the opponent. This poison can be used to basically allow Cleopatra to control their actions with her own. This can basically mean she can destroy her opponent by destroying herself. It is said that the purple snake is very faster and slick, so this small creature can usually get a bite off on its opponent.

    For flavour, you could say that it is the snake she used to kill herself with poison, or that it was sent by the gods to give her a quicker death.

  13. #13353
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    I lied when I said I couldn't come up with any NPs.

    I could.

    Except they were all related to snakes/poison. Which isn't really what I want.

    I already sort of covered the snake thing with the Familiars skill, so I would prefer to have her NP be something that isn't related to snakes/poison.

    If I/we/you guys can't come up with anything else/better than I suppose I'll just go with one of the NPs I thought of or the ones Bird of Hermes suggested.

    --EDIT--

    Besides, she's already kind of similar to Semiramis and I'd rather not make a poison/snake NP that would only increase their similarities.
    Last edited by Crying; March 1st, 2016 at 06:32 AM.
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  14. #13354
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    If you'd rather not have poison type NP's I have a few other suggestions. You could do something based around Isis as the goddess apparently wielded a harpoon, not on the same tier as Mesket of course but still.

    Alternatively a NP based around the concept of falling empires. Or if you really can't think of anything, a Nero-esque reality marble for the easy option.

    Or a mixture of all of them

  15. #13355
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    If you want to go there, she is sort of credited with inventing the vibrator....

  16. #13356
    超刻 Hyperreal Nuclear's Avatar
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    Make a Darude Sandstorm NP

  17. #13357
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Some general Cleopatra notes: her Strength seems a bit high. Also, if you intend for her to be able to create a variety of Mystic Codes, I'd suggest increasing the Rank to B; with Rank C, Semiramis is limited to poisons, for instance. And I'm not sure her Territory Creation should be A+. That said, I think you can make a case for her having Charisma A+.
    As for a Noble Phantasm, I do have a suggestion, but it's a bit of a Nasu-level creative interpretation. Would you be interested?

    Oh, and as for a faceclaim, how about this one? Apparently, it's by Osamu Tezuka. EDIT: ...And apparently, it's from an erotic anime. Well, at least she's clothed in that image. :-P

    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    If you want to go there, she is sort of credited with inventing the vibrator....
    ...Imagine that "magic wand", eh?
    Last edited by SpoonyViking; March 1st, 2016 at 09:08 AM.

  18. #13358
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Well, you could always work it into some sort of "vibration magic". Sound falls under the purview. =p
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
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    F/GO SUPPORT

  19. #13359
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Lancer:

    True Name: Kekrops I 'First And Eternal King Of Athens'

    Alignment
    : Lawful Neutral

    Summoning Catalyst: Branch broken off from the world's first olive tree

    Alternate Class: Caster

    Strength- C (B)
    Agility- B+ (A+)
    Endurance- C
    Mana- B
    Luck- A
    NP- B+

    Appearance: A young, beautiful looking man with fair skin and features. He has around shoulder length silvery toned hair, transitioning into a pale green color at the ends. He has striking orange eyes slitted like those of a snake. He dresses in an earthy toned kilt, an olive green tunic with silver armoring over the chest and shoulders, and simple brown sandals.

    Personality: Calm, reasoned and judicious. He is pious and is careful to honor the gods after every victory, in particular his patron Athena. Definitely a shrewd politician, who can be outright scheming at times (this trait has been exaggerated by Innocent Monster). He views the current city of Athens as "decadent" and desires to reclaim it from its current occupiers, shaping it into the shining and grand city of wisdom it was in ancient times. He has a strong rivalry with the nation of Sparta, deploring its citizens as brutes and barbarians. If summoned alongside a Spartan Heroic Spirit, he will likely abandon his usual composure go to any length to prove himself as superior.

    Likes: order, wisdom, idealized Athens
    Dislikes: Sparta, violence, chaos
    Talent: settling disputes
    Natural Enemy: Leonidas I


    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance (C~A)- Cancels spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against the likes of High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. With the aid of his Noble Phantasm- Dóry Eliás, his natural resistance rises to A-rank against forms of Magecraft qualifying as "curses".


    Personal Skills:

    Wisdom Of Divine Gift (A+)- Wisdom bestowed by the goddess, Athena. Lancer can display a variety of Skills at B~A ranked proficiency. These include Persuation, Navigation, Rhetoric, Territory Creation, Eye For Art and Eye Of The Mind (True). As the founder of Athens, he has the authority to utilize any skill practiced under his great city. Also, with the Master's permission these Skills can be taught to others insofar as they have the willingness to learn.

    Charisma (C+)- Ability to inspire others, and lead armies. At this rank, Charisma is sufficient to lead an entire prosperous city-state.

    Natural Body (A)- Possession of a flawless human body from birth. Lancer was born unsullied from the soil of Athens itself, and his body was so slender and lithe as to be mistaken for a serpent in the guise of a man. Grants a permanent Rank-Up to his Strength stat.

    Innocent Monster (C)- The nature of one whose legend has been distorted falsely by history. Due to the legends of him as a "Gemini" (half-man, half-snake), Lancer's personality in the War is altered to be more manipulative, scheming and cruel then he was in his mortal life. It doesn't make him physically a serpent, for that effect is instead subsumed under his Noble Phantasm- Kekrops Geminus.


    Noble Phantasms:


    Dóry Eliás- The Greatest Gift (B+, Anti-Unit): Spear symbolizing the founding of Athens. As part of a contest with the sea god Poseidon, Athena planted her spear into the ground from which it spawned the first ever olive tree. Moreover, the tree/spear became an icon of boundless wisdom surpassing mere treasures or wealth. Its nature is synonymous with Athens itself, "a city founded on wisdom". Though Kekrops never wielded the goddess's spear in life, its ties with his legend have granted him use of it as a Noble Phantasm.

    The spear itself is made of olive wood, with small leafy branches growing out along the shaft. As the Olive was considered a holy tree in Greek Mythology, it was a custom for people to put branches of it on their doorsteps to ward off evil. Being the first ever Olive tree, its Anti-Evil properties are immeasurably greater, literally burning "Evil" aligned beings at the touch as well as bolstering his natural Magic Resistance from C to A against curse-based Magecraft.

    The spear is actually still a living tree, and will grow back if broken into pieces. The oil seeping from it has a strong healing property when rubbed into flesh, acting as an ointment of sorts. It can't restore lost limbs or heal damage to vital organs, but relatively minor wounds can be closed over without much trouble. It also has a mental rejuvenation effect, making one feel as if one's troubles and burdens were melting away. Towards Evil-aligned targets the oil has the same effect as the spear itself, burning at their flesh and inflicting great pain.


    Kekrops Geminus
    - The Serpent-King (A, Support): The crystallization of Lancer's legend as a Gemini, a man with the lower-body of a serpent. Though in truth his reputation as such was merely an exaggeration of his naturally lithe and supple build, the legend itself takes form as a Noble Phantasm similiar to the bloodstained legends of a certain Romanian count.

    When invoked, Lancer's legs merge together into a great serpentine trunk, coated in a thick layer of shimmering green scales. He gains a Rank-Up to Agility, able to slither across the ground and strike at inhuman speed. His front teeth also become sharp like fangs and coated in a highly venomous saliva, capable of melting through solid rock in a matter of seconds. The venom can be injected into the target directly through a bite (almost assuring a lethal blow) or spat as an acidic projectile.

    As it makes him unto a Monstrous Beast, Lancer becomes vulnerable to any abilities or weapons with the Beast-Slaying attribute while this Noble Phantasm is in effect. Lancer hates using this Noble Phantasm due to how it twists his reputation. He'll only resort to it if judged absolutely necessary, or if forced by Command Seal.

  20. #13360
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Any commentary on the above sheet? I'd appreciate it.

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