THIS ROUTE IS REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING
I SEE DEAD POKÉMON
FINALLY
THIS MIGHT BE A PROBLEM
EITHER THE RNG LIKES GIVING ME FLIERS, OR THERE IS A LOT OF FLIERS IN HOENN
EITHER WAY, HEMINGWAY AND HAVEL ARE RIGHT OUT
STOP BULLYING
NO
WE ARE TIRED AND FUCKED UP
WHO ARE YOU AGAIN, ANYWAY?
YOU REMIND ME OF MYSELF AND I HATE YOU FOR IT SO I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU
JUST WAIT HERE 'TILL WE GET RESTED
THAT MIGHT MEAN, WAIT HERE UNTIL TOMORROW
OR NOT, DEPENDING ON YOUR INTERPRETATION OF HOW THE POKÉMON CENTRES WORK
YOU'RE WAIFU A SHIT
SINCE THE RNG INDEED DOES HATE ME AND THE PARALYSIS LETS EVERYTHING OF HIS THROUGH AND BLOCKS EVERYTHING OF HAVEL'S
I SWITCH TO LONDON, WHO, FITTINGLY, LAUGHS AT HIS PSYCHIC MUMBO JUMBO AND DOWNS HIM WITH A BITE
LIKE THE MAN SHE IS NOT
...
I GOT NINETY NINE PROBLEMS, BUT A FRIEND AIN'T ONE
YEAH, THAT'S BLOOD
SORRY FOR THE MESS
I DON'T RUN A LOT, SO I STILL HAVE THE TEETH
DID I ACTUALLY FIND THE ONE GOOD PERSON IN HOENN?
YOU SIR ARE A PRETTY COOL GUY
I MEAN, THERE WAS ONE OTHER PERSON WHO ONCE GAVE ME A BIKE
THAT GUY WAS A FUCKING FURFAG THOUGH, FROM KANTO
HAD TO LISTEN ABOUT HIS RAPIDASH FOR A FEW HOURS BEFORE HE DID
JUST SO YOU KNOW, THERE ARE TWO BIKES IN EMERALD. BOTH ARE QUITE ANNOYING IN THEIR OWN RIGHT
AAAH, ROCK SMASH
THE ONE MOVE THAT IS WORSE THAN CUT
FORTUNATELY KIPLING CAN LEARN IT, AND STRENGTH AS WELL, ONCE HE BECOMES MIGHTYENA - SO GUESS HE'S GOING TO BE THE HM GUY FOR US
WHEN YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, THAT'S PROPABLY THE BEST FATE HE COULD POSSIBLY GET
I MEAN HE WON'T BE PERMANENTLY STUCK IN THE BOX, BUT HE WON'T DIE EITHER, UNLESS HE GETS OFFED IN TRAINING
(WHICH BY THE WAY DID ALMOST HAPPEN DESPITE HIM BEING ON EXP.SHARE)
THIS PLACE IS A LOT HARDER AND A LOT MORE RIGGED THAN THE OTHER GAME CORNERS
LET'S SEE WHETHER THERE IS ANYTHING OF VALUE TO BE EVEN TRYING FOR, BESIDES THE DOUBLE TEAM TM, WHICH WE DO KIND OF WANT
WAIT
WAAAAAAAIIT A MINUTE HERE
IS THIS SOME KIND OF AN INSIDE JOKE OR
I MEAN
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
THE ROUTE WEST OF THE CITY AND THE BIKEROAD ARE FULL OF TRAINERS WHO ARE GOING TO BE GOOD FOR GRINDING
THEY HAVE CASH, TOO, AND I KNOW THEIR NUBERS AND WHERE THEY LIVE
BEFORE THAT, HUNTAN TIME
THAT'S ACTUALLY OKAY, KIND OF JUST WHAT I WANT, EVEN
HE IS ALSO OF NAUGHTY NATURE
THAT IS TO SAY HE IS JUST A TOTAL ASSHOLE. THIS COMES UP SURPRISINGLY OFTEN IN BATTLES
THERE IS ALSO THIS CITY
THERE IS NOTHING IN HERE SAVE FOR A BATTLE TENT AND NEST BALLS IN THE MARKET
WOW, ROCK SMASH IS EVEN MORE TOTALLY USELESS THAN EVER
LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO BEAT THE GYM TO ADVANCE
SPEAKING OF USELESS MOVES
KINDA THOUGHT THAT SWEET SCENT IS GOING TO ENABLE ME TO LURE SOME WILD POKÉMON WHERE I COULDN'T MEET THEM
NOPE, IT JUST MAKES AN ENCOUNTER HAPPEN WHERE IT ALREADY COULD
GUESS BAUDELAIRE WILL HAVE TO LET GO OF ALL THAT HIPPIE BULLSHIT
HE'S GOING TO GROW INTO SOME TOXIC/PROTECT BASTARD, I'M SURE
*CRACK*
WONDER WHAT THAT WAS
I SEE
*BA DUM TSS*
GUESS YOU ARE GOING TO
*PUTS SHADES ON LONDON*
DEAL WITH IT
MY BODY WILL PROPABLY NEVER BE READY
THERE IS A FINE, FINE LINE BETWEEN A CHALLENGE AND SUICIDE
BETWEEN POKÉMON DYING BECAUSE OF YOUR INCOMPETENCE, AND CARELESSLY SEDNING THEM TO DEATH IN JEOPARDY
I SAID I AM GOING TO DO THESE THOUGH, EVEN IF I HAVE TO USE THREE GYARADOSES
JUST, THERE IS A LOT OF BULLSHIT RULES TACKED ON, DIFFERENT IN EVERY TENT, THAT I WILL HAVE TO LOOK INTO FIRST SO I DON'T LOSE A LOT OF, UM, RESOURCES, BEFORE IT'S DONE
THAT'S NOT SPEAKING OF THE BATTLE FRONTIER WHICH IS BASICALLY THE DEATH WISH LEAGUE
IT'S NOT LIKE I REALLY LOVE MY POKÉMON THOUGH, OR TAKE THIS WHOLE BATTLING BUSSINESS SERIOUSLY
HAHA
THERE IS NO MORAL ISSUE AT ALL
I AM NOT SCARED OF LOSING THE ONLY BEINGS THAT HAVE EVER REMOTELY CARED ABOUT ME
IT'S JUST THAT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD SEEMS TO BE SO BAD AT THIS POKÉMON BATTLING BUSSINESS THAT I WANT TO SHOW THEM BY BEATING THEM DOWN USING COLD LOGIC, WHILE BEING AT MASSIVE HANDICAP OF THE CHALLENGE
I AM NOT EVEN TALENTED OR ANYTHING, EVERYONE ELSE IS BAD
DAD ESPECIALLY
SO I GUESS I WILL TRAIN SPARES ONCE IT COMES UP OR SOMETHING
ALSO THE CHALLENGE LETS ME SELL THESE REVIVES FOR FAT CASH, THAT'S KIND OF COOL
YEAH, THIS CHALLENGE SURE IS BETTER THAN THE REAL THING
I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS KID
SO, THERE IS A FOUR-MEMBER FAMILY THAT WANTS TO BATTLE
THEY ARE LIKE SOME KINDA ELITE FOUR EXCEPT NOT ELITE
AT ALL
THIS IS HOW IT ENDS WHEN YOU ONLY HAVE ONE REAL MOVE
IT KEEPS HAPPENING
MOM IS KIND OF BETTER THAN DADDY BUT NOT BY MUCH
THE REAL PROBLEM HERE IS THAT YOU GET NO BREAK BETWEEN THEM
SO IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE WITH ZERO OFFENSIVE PP IN FRONT, LIKE ME
THEY ALL GET A TURN IN
PROPABLY THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING
OR MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE HAVEL MISSED THE PARALYZING POWDER THREE TIMES IN A ROW
GRANDMA TAIMU
SADLY FOR GRANDMA, HAVEL IS BUG/FLYING, WHICH HARD COUNTRES THE FIGHTING/PSYCHIC
SHOULD HAVE REALIZED THAT WITH BRAWLY
BET HE'S A COMPLETE NOBODY
MOM ALSO GIVES ME MACHO BRACE
SO I GET TO GRIND EFFORT VALUES PROPERLY NOW
NOT YET, THOUGH
EXPERIENCE ONLY NOW
BAUDELAIRE NEEDS IT, ESPECIALLY
AND HONESTLY, HE'S SHAPING UP TO BE KIND OF INSANE
...
THE TIME HAS COME, AND SO HAVE I
AS A SIDE-NOTE, IT'S CONFUSING TO CONSTANTLY SEE THESE GYM SIGNS WITHOUT GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK SIGNED UNDER THEM
YEAH, LT.SURGE IN KANTO HAS YOU SEARCHING THROUGH TRASH BINS FOR ELECTRIC SWITCHES
GUESS HE GOT BULLIED A LOT IN THE ARMY, TOO
WHY DOES EVERYONE IN HERE HAVE THESE THINGS
GIVING IT THUNDERPUNCH DOESN'T MAKE IT LIGHTNING TYPE
YEAH, LT.SURGE IN KANTO-
WAIT, YOU ARE DEAF, AREN'T YOU
I'VE GOT A TERRIBLE FEELING ABOUT THIS
HOLY -
ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL?
HERE I WAS DOUBTING MY OWN SANITY
GOOD THING BAUDELAIRE WAS OVERGRINDED AND HAD STATS LIKE THAT
PRETTY SURE THIS THING IS SECOND SO IT CAN PARALYZE ONE OF MY GUYS AND DIE HORRIBLY
SO, LONDON HOWLS IT AGAIN, LET'S FIGHT IT LATER
OH COME ON
LONDON GETS A TWO SAND ATTACKS AND TWO BITES IN, WHILE THE THING KEEPS HOWLING
IT THEN QUICK ATTACKS HIM TWICE, MISSING FIRST TIME, HITTING THE SECOND, FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE
I SWITCH HIM OUT FOR MUSASHI
WELL THIS IS NOT FUN
MUSASHI DOUBLEKICKS IT
AMAZINGLY, HE DOUBLECRITS
EVEN MORE AMAZINGLY, IT SURVIVES, AND HOWLS FURTHER
OBVIOUSLY WATTSON IS GOING TO USE A SUPER POTION HERE
SINCE THE QUICK ATTACK COULD KILL MUSASHI HERE ALREADY, I SWITCH HIM OUT FOR BRADBURY
HE HAS ENOUGH BULK TO SURVIVE TWO SHOCKWAVES IN A ROW, OR EVEN QUICK ATTACKS STILL
HE CAN'T ACTUALLY ATTACK HIM THOUGH, SINCE THE THING MOST LIKELY HAS STATIC
SO I USE THE TIME TO HEAL LONDON AND TO SWITCH THEM AGAIN
LONDON THEN ROARS HIM AWAY AS WELL, DRAGGING OUT HIS LIZARD BACK
BUT MORE IMPORTANTILY CANCELING THE MANECTRICK'S RIDICULOUS +ATTACK STACK FROM HOWL
THE LIZARD GOES DOWN PRETTY EASILY
STATIC FORTUNATELY DOESN'T ACTIVATE
IF IT DID, IT WOULD PRETTY MUCH ROB ME OF A TURN
AFTER THE LIZARD, THE FUN REALLY BEGINS
I MAKE SURE THAT THE DOUBLE KICK REALLY GETS IN THIS TIME
IT PARALYZES MUSASHI WITH A THUNDER WAVE
I HAVE MUSASHI TRY TO ATTACK ANYWAY, BUT PARALISIS WON'T LET HIM
MAGNETON ADDS CONFUSION TO PARALYZIS
MUCH BETTER. PUTS ME TURN AHEAD, THIS IS HOW FULL HEAL IS USED RIGHT
MEANWHILE, MUSASHI GET HIT WITH A SHOCKWAVE
HE THUNDER WAVES AGAIN THEN, AND MUSASHI STILL DOESN'T GET THE KICK IN
SOMEHOW A MAGNETON IS FASTER THAN MY STARTER
NEXT TURN, HE GOES FOR ANOTHER SHOCK WAVE SINCE MUSASHI IS ALREADY PARALYZED
ON THE OTHER HAND, THE KICK GETS IN. WOULD HAVE DONE BETTER IF HE WENT FOR SUPERSONIC AGAIN
AND THE THING GETS OHKO'D
SEEMS LIKE GIVING HIM THE ATTACK DRUG WAS A GOOD IDEA, SINCE IT'S JUST ABOUT ENOUGH
DESPITE MAGNETON HAVING QUADRAPLE WEAKNESS TO FIGHTING
THIS PROPABLY COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH UGLIER.
ESPECIALLY IF IT HAD SELFDESTRUCT, TOO
ANYWAY, NOW IT'S TIME TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR ACTIONS
PROPABLY SHOULD EXPLAIN A BIT HERE ABOUT WHY I'VE SENT BRADBURY HERE
SEE, SHOCK WAVE ALWAYS HITS, WHICH IS WHY THE SAND ATTACKS FROM LONDON WERE PRETTY USELESS
ON THE OTHER HAND, IT NEVER CRITS EITHER
SO YOU CAN RELIABLY WORK WITH MATH AGAINST A BASTARD WITH SHOCKWAVE
NOW, EVERYONE ELSE OTHER THAN BRADBURY CAN TANK A SHOCK WAVE, BUT NOT TWO
MAYBE BAUDELAIRE CAN, BUT HE'S PRETTY SCREWED AND WOULD TAKE TWO TURNS TO UNSCREW
NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR JUST A TRY
SO, SENDING BRADBURY IS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE NOBODY DIES
...AS LONG AS I HAVE ENOUGH POTIONS
WHICH I'VE RUN OUT OF RECENTLY, ONLY SODA LEFT, FINAL DESTINATION
THIS BEGINS AN ENDURANCE BATTLE WITH THE MANECTRIC
I WOULD HATE TO GET BRADBURY PARALYZED, SO I GO INTO THE THING WITH ASTONISH WHEN I DO
IT DOESN'T DO MUCH, BUT IT GETS AN OCCASIONAL FLINCH
DON'T FORGET THAT WATTSON STILL HAS ONE SUPER POTION LEFT
SO, THIS TOOK LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES
IN THE PROCESS, BRADBURY GETS TO DRINK A LOT OF MY TEARS
/IMG]http://i.share.pho.to/7abda706_l.png[/IMG]
IT ALSO QUICKLY TURNS OUT THAT ASTONISH IS PHYSICAL
YOU CAN SEE THAT THE MATH WORKS OUT AS KEIKAKU'D
GOOD IS THAT HIS QUICK ATTACK NEVER CRITS, BUT HE DOESN'T USE IT A LOT EITHER
UNTIL THE END, WHERE HE ACTUALLY STARTS RUNNING OUT OF PP FOR SHOCK WAVE
EITHER WAY HE DOESN'T HOWL, WHICH MAKES THE AI LOOK PRETTY DAMN SMART
*WIPES SWEAT OFF FOREHEAD*
REMEMBER HOW YOU STOPPED COUNTING ON IT FIVE MINUTES AGO AFTER YOU USED IT TWENTY TIMES IN A ROW?
YEAH, I GUESS YOU DON'T REALLY
JUST SO YOU KNOW, I WAS THIS CLOSE TO A PARTY WIPE
I THEN DEPOSIT THE REMAINING TEARS AND BUY POTIONS
THOSE ARE ALL THE TEARS I HAVE LEFT TO SHED
...IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH