Happy to hear that you people are enjoying yourselves.
I've had the help of a wonderful member, and I think that most if not all of the derps that came from typos, Word Formatting screwing me up and erasing spaces, and whatever else could've caused bad writing... it's all been removed.
Now to focus on writing the next part.
Chapter 1's Part 2 has been posted.
Heresy/Typos hunting, reviews as always are welcome.
I'm not too sure about my pacing, but I do believe that I'm doing a bit of justice to the character by giving them time to be introspective a bit, rather than just rushing them from even to event.
Granted, quite the thing happened~
Preview for part 3:
Ohtomo and Tohsaka get to talk a bit more. They discuss Reimu's out of the norm Onmyoudou.
Reimu has more interactions with the Ravens.
A shadow looms in the corner.
Last edited by Ayakashi; February 11th, 2014 at 01:14 AM.
Hey is Shirou going to show up? Also how does the Onmyou agency and the Holy Church interact? I mean if you are using Nasuverse canon than even excluding the Holy Grail Wars, the Church does have operations to deal with supernatural threats in Japan.
Oh Reimu. Your complete lack of concern about everything is oh so charming. I'm also liking the way you keep describing her with dreamy metaphors and that out of the world presence. I feel those describe Reimu very well.
High point of that part though: exploration of Natsume's thoughts. That was written quite well indeed. I think you succeeded without a doubt at capturing Natsume's constant doubts and concerns, and did magnificently at getting inside her head and relaying her line of thinking and mind to us. You really reminded me of how insecure a person Natsume can be, and how she always has a lot bearing on her. Good and faithful character portrayal like that is what I like to see.
Last edited by YeOfLittleFaith; February 11th, 2014 at 01:55 AM.
Originally Posted by Jouaint
As for the church, it isn't on very good terms with Onmyou Agency, much like the Mage's Association.Shirou will not be appearing in the story. He might be mentioned, or his achievements spoken about.
Yakou did something very dangerous to magecraft as a whole, turning it for public use. Implications of such an act will be covered by discussion between characters, eventually.
Omyou Agency has made a big difference in this setting, which means that while the Church is present in Japan, it isn't exceedingly active, nor is the Mage's Association. They'd rather let Onmyou Agency handle whatever there is to handle.
- - - Updated - - -
Good to know that I'm not disappointing.
I sometimes fear that I ramble too much into thoughts rather than going into the action, or just that I get boring musing about things in such a deep way.
Last edited by Ayakashi; February 11th, 2014 at 03:12 AM.
My choice of Touhou reading material has me laughing at those parts. This can't be that slacker miko! XD
She's not the incredible slacker that fanon tends to portray her, but you cannot deny that even in canon, Reimu tends to wait till the last minute before doing what has to be done.
Unless of course you're annoying in her, in which case Amaterasu be on your side.
Also, this also totally isn't an update, since I was busy making this wallpaper. Vague and leaving room to speculah... but I find two flowers blooming next to each other as quite the sight~
[Click on Pic for Wallpaper Size]
P.S: Good pics of Adult!Rin or her looking relatively mature and with her hair down are so hard to find.
Last edited by Ayakashi; February 11th, 2014 at 08:59 AM.
Who's the purple haired girl?
So much for keeping on the down low, Reimu.
Natsume, the heroine of Tokyo Ravens.
My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
That's Natsume in her miko outfit.
And sniped.
Just saw this, and as I'm a big fan of Tokyo Ravens, I'm happy to see a crossover fic. It's pretty good, and I'm looking forward to more.
Interesting so far and I agree with Irun that the world building looks good. Subscribed.
Spoiler:
In the first chapter, the cat mentions Rin's "familiar" and how it has a similar spiritual presence to a Servant. So how did Rin here keep Archer around? Did she do something similar to what was done for Saber in the UBW Good End?
Obviously like this:
Spoiler:
Answering to this question would mean spoiling a big fun for you.
But if you do want to get spoiled, then I guess you could always open this little spoiler below.
Which isn't really a spoiler but... gives you some room to think I guess
Spoiler's
Awwwww... No Achaaaa!!!!
"......"
Miscellaneous Info
Well, think a bit on how Kon might be described. So it might be something in the same classification as that sort of Shikigami.
If Onmyoudou is a magecraft, then perhaps other magecrafts can do similar things? This Rin is probably quite capable.
Think about what we know from Ravens about whether certain sorts of entities can become Shikigami. What exactly this would mean might depend a bit on authorial fiat, from what little we know so far.
Obviously, it must be a Sakura whose body was eaten away by her own evil.
More seriously, if the assumptions are lined up just right, Rin might have the whole rest of the cast of Fate on tap. That could be very boring, and I imagine Ayakashi has something interesting in mind.
Oh Reimu. Your freakish innate talent mixed with your total apathy is always amusing.
Fate/Stay Night: Life is an Endless Dream Chapter 12: Settling into place
Tsukihime: Role Revert Part 10: Were you here the whole time?
Fate + Tsuki: Slayer/Savior Part 1: Forge/Assassin
Pata Hikari's Tsukihime Short stories: Lastest story: A Midnight Dreary
you know if it was Classic Reimu on that page, natsume and her would have looked like twins.
Chapter 1, Part 3 is done.
And thus ends Chapter 1.
Mostly done to introduce the characters and give a feel of the setting.
I hope that I did them all justice.
And gave you more speculation to do.
Probably more questions you people might want to ask me.
There's one or two character info sheets and a bunch more of info that's inbound, a bit like the "Info" Screen in some games.
But I'm too lazy for it right now, so just go read part 3.
Now into SRS BSNS.
Edit: As always, since I have no proof reader and I'm human, there might be few, or maybe worse, quite a few derps here and there. Feel free to point them out to me.
===
LITTLE SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU MIGHT SEE FOR NEXT CHAPTER.
We actually get to have an idea of who we're fighting against!
Infamous Spiritual Disaster during the first year exam... made worse(?!)
Rin's 'familiar' gets some action.
Did someone say Enforcers?
Last edited by Ayakashi; February 14th, 2014 at 07:52 AM.
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