Ga Rei: Exodus Nine (IC)

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

Doing your benefactor a bit of a favor by sweeping the blatant signs of her messy lifestyle out of sight, the natural inclination to be cautious has you looking out of the peephole rather than simply opening the door to say hello. It's early in the morning, so early that the sun's golden light is still of the comforting sort that tries to lull one back into the land of the unconscious, and so it is a bit suspicious that a visitor would be showing themselves so early in the morning but...

"Oh, hello! Um, is this where Liane is staying?"

The voice on the other side of the door is vaguely familiar, and both cute and unsure in a disarming way.

"If so, is she home?"

Because the person on the other side...

Was a spitting image of the 'wraith' you had seen in that bizarro dream earlier in the month, or in other words...

It was her sister.

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

I blink. Once. Twice. It takes me a second. I have seen this woman before...her name was on the tip of my tongue. Still stuck in a daze of sleepiness, and with the rhythmic pumping of my heart reminding me of my quick dignity saving throw I casually blurt out her name.
"Joan?"A second later I realize we were never introduced. "I mean...your sister mentioned you. Joan. That's you, right? She's here...yes. Come in, come in!" My gestures switch awkwardly between trying to welcome her in and nervous undefined hand signs.

"I'm her pupil, I guess. Suzume! Nice...uh, nice to meet you. For the first time."

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

"Ah, thank you."

Your behavior held undeniable hints of an awkward nature, and yet stepping into the house, she seemed to look over it all with kind eyes.

"But pupil huh? I was worried you were gonna say girlfriend..."

While not as tall as Liane, her figure in and of itself was similar in nature; both were muscular -without being overly so- and their aura, the strength of their spirit, was so blatant that it always seemed to fill the rooms they were in due to their sheer presence alone. ESPers also did this, so in your own case as well as Liane's it was expected but...

You can tell from just a glance that she is not one.

No.

In spite of being blatantly strong spiritually, this one is functionally just a human.

And she's one that's also radiating nervousness.

Leading her inside because you can't think of much else to do, the young woman's eyes land on her older sister immediately-

"..."

-And that feeling of nervousness spikes ever higher as a result, so much so that for a moment it seems she's been struck silent.

And following that...

"Huh? The door opened...?"

Yawning, Liane rises from her place on the couch, stretching out with a yawn without really paying attention to the things going on around her-

"Hey sis."

-until those words squeak out of Joan's mouth.

Liane freezes in place.

Eyes that hadn't locked with each other in years lock, and...

If Joan was radiating nervousness...

Liane's emotional spectrum had gone from calm and kind of lethargic, to a spike of nervousness and guilt so steep that the fact that it doesn't show on her face is either impressive... Or horrifying...

"H-Hi Joan!"

Shooting to her feet, one sleeve of her oversized t-shirt falling down her arm, the storm of uncertainty that follows these words is matched only by that coming from her younger sibling.

Neither is sure about what to do, and you're not sure why that is, but...

At the rate this was going...

They were going to just stare at each other all morning...

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

In this moment I wish that some kind of huge creature would crash through the ceiling. Or maybe my past-me can show up and babble some cryptic jargon at me, drag me off and go somewhere, anywhere else. Hell, I'd take the delivery guy ringing at the wrong door right about now.

Just...something to break up the incredibly awkward tension that filled the room.

But if no help comes, I'll have to help myself.

"Uh, how about we sit down and have some coffee? I haven't really woken up yet as you can see...haha...And Liane isn't looking her best either right now. No offense, teach." I nudge her with my elbow with a smile that could not possibly look any more forced.

[Snax]

Jonathan R. Black
???

"Well then, with no further ado."

Jonathan scratches his head. He honestly had no idea who this person was. However, she seemed to be well versed in the ways of the world, perhaps ancient in terms of the Soul's age. And she was definitely not originally a human...

Some kind of higher being, no doubt. Perhaps a God, or a Demon.

The question was, what indeed.

"Well then, let me ask. If you cannot say who you are directly, I guess I will have to beat about the bush..."

Jonathan thinks for a second, piecing all he had heard together.

"You seem to be an advocate of free will, but not out of love for humanity. You are fine with evil, and bear no disgust to my methods. And for some reason, I seem to be loved by the stars, becoming Amatsu's chosen and also a final piece in the Time Witch's master plan..."

Jonathan ponders.

"I assume you are some kind of demonic being, or a divine being fallen from grace. You say humans belong to you, and while you have no love for them, you will not abandon them..."

Jonathan crooks his eyebrows, looking straight at the woman.

"First question. What is your opinion on the Creator, and of Humanity? I already know you have no love for mankind, but I would like to know more on your opinions of each"

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

You had never seen someone sprint for their own bedroom so fast.

Sitting down at the kitchen table now, unable to escape from the awkwardness of this sudden family reunion in spite of frantically trying to spot any sort of openings in which to do so, you realize that fate has doomed you to this silent hell the moment you realize your borrowed bedroom lacked any sort of window at all...

You could go out the front door perhaps, but with the way these two were acting...

Well, you were probably doing them a favor by staying.

Hair tied back in a ponytail for once and an apron wrapped around her waist, Liane had thrown herself into cooking amidst a hypocritical surge of her own feelings. Guilt and nervousness, as well as a desire to impress and coddle the girl that had seemingly appeared on a whim had twisted itself into a blender of motivation that could only vent herself by doing something with her hands.

She wanted to talk to her, but at the same time couldn't bring herself to do so.

It was that sort of awkward, awkward family thing...

"So, pupil huh? What is she teaching you, Suzume?"

And that left you as the one to bear the brunt of conversation with the younger girl, who seemed to be the more proactive of the two...

At least in these circumstances.

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

If there is one upside to this whole thing, I think I just lowered my debt to Liane severely.

Trying my best to shake off my initial shock and loosen up the atmosphere just a little I try my best to emit a calm and welcoming atmosphere.

"Oh, you know...I'm a ronin, so to speak. She's my tutor. Everything I have a bit of trouble with, I come to her, that kind of stuff...nothing too exciting. What do you do? Did you actually get into a nice university? Tokyo U perhaps? And if so, what do you study?"

If she wanted to expose on supernatural shenanigans it is Liane's prerogative but I am not going to do that for now. It's probably for the best to deflect the conversation from that.

"Do you want to sit down? Was it a long way here?"

Just burying her under a barrage of questions should probably buy me enough time for Liane to emerge from her culinary confinement.

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

"Oh? That sort of tutor huh? Jack of all trades?"

She seems to accept it as an answer, and while it's clear that part of this is just her attempt at making an open air conversation that her sister could jump in on, she does give some thought to her own answers instead of just saying the first thing that comes to mind.

"Well, I work for the church now. Guess you could say I'm a... Exorcist?"

Smiling, there's another moment of thought, then:

"I go to school overseas, major in history. It was a bit of a trip to get here from Rome, but the job demanded I come, so here I am."

She seemed friendly enough, in a way that certainly reminded you of church workers as the west liked to display them; and when you offer her a seat she sits down without complaint, hands rising to rest in her lap.

"It's all very nice I guess, my job pays a lot so I'm not too worried about finishing with a degree... Probably a good thing, because I wind up having to leave classes mid-lecture a lot of the time. Coming to Japan is also sort of a vacation for me I guess, but..."

A sigh.

"It looks like there's all sorts of trouble happening over here too... But this city is... Nice, I suppose. A bit crazy, but nice."

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: SunriseI sigh with relief.

"Okay, no use for the charade then. We're in the same trade." I show her the bell on my wrist. "I'm still learning though...the curriculum is a bit more practical than I'd like if I'm going to be honest, but I'm making strides." I shrug my shoulders with a light smile on my face.

"I hope to be employed too...honestly I don't think the studying life is for me...well, private tutors work out. Your sister is quite amazing at that I have to say..."

Wait...was saying that a good idea? Let's play over it.

"Hahaha....sure, it is quite crazy around here, but no fun without a bit of weirdness, no? Cities are just like people in that regard."

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

"Yes, I suppose it's fun in a way... But that's still a lot of ghosts..."

Chuckling lightly to herself, she shakes her head from side to side as if to clear out.

In the kitchen, the Liane that had been frantically cracking eggs seems to be listening in to the best of her ability, as the sounds of cooking have lowered in both speed and volume...

"Employment shouldn't be too hard... I heard the Japanese Government is always looking for more exorcists," commenting on this with one eye closed, her head tilts slightly to the side, "Especially if you have something like that... A Ga Rei right? They should be all over you."

She shifts her stance slightly.

"Of course I just hit things with a holy sword, so I'm sure the experience is different... Never had a knack for magic, too many hand signs. runes. and incantations in it for me. Paid for it a little bit when I ran into a demon a few days ago, but well... Holy Swords are the best I can do really."

Both eyes close.

"So don't worry. Sis is famous around the world as the "Golden Witch," if she's teaching you, I'm sure you'll come out alright."

Eyes open again, although this time just slightly, with an amused air.

"Course, when we lived together she didn't know any fancy magic. Fist fighter back then... So it looks like she's changed a lot..."

The sound of cooking stops entirely.

"That. Or she just hasn't gotten around to teaching you how to punch things yet... Better prepare yourself. Ga Rei or not, you gotta be ready to fight with your body if it gets bad."

She laughs again, even though it sounds like serious advice.

"It'll probably hurt. Very sink or swim when it comes to that stuff... You have my apologies in advance."

Seemed like she was...

Getting nostalgic about her past... And less and less nervous as a result.

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Time: Sunrise

I lean in just a little, and lower my voice. "I think that kind of bluntness is still her favored approach, to be honest." She doesn't need to hear all of this, I am helping her enough as is, right?"

My smile fades just a little as I continue talking. "Ah yeah, the government..." If I'm honest my experiences in the last few days kind of pushed the thinking about my concrete future a bit in the background. Plans of stable employment presuppose a world that is very much not on fire, something that I can't guarantee just yet. As well as my own survival of course, something I jeopardized a lot in recent times.

"But yeah, Blues certainly gives me an advantage here. Also the reason I don't see a lot of point to punching people. I like staying a bit in the back, you know? He's quite the tough boy, treating it as a last resort fits me just fine. Not that I can't do it." I demonstratively crack my knuckles.

Having overstressed one of my fingers, I try my best to suppress a tiny yelp.

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

"You might not like it, but with all the stuff looming on the horizon, well... It's important to cover as many of your weaknesses as you can; the problems aren't just ghosts... Not anymore anyway."

Saying that with a smile, she nevertheless laughs at the attempt at a yelp suppression on your part.

"Besides, you're an ESPer right? That shouldn't have hurt you at all."

While it sounds like a joke, the feeling you get is that she's dead serious about it.

"I've seen ESPers punch down buildings and let off sonic booms when it suits them. The limitations you have are all in your head, you can be just as capable as the Ga Rei if not more, it's people like me that should have to struggle to keep up with you guys."

Is it a lecture?

Is it support?

It's hard to tell even with your powers but...

"Well... Joan's not wrong."

Emerging from the kitchen, plates of bacon, hotcakes, scrambled eggs and biscuits in hand, the teacher that had been showing an uncharacteristic cowardly streak, finally seems to pull herself together long enough to emerge from her self-imposed seclusion.

"The first thing that's gotta go is your common sense about yourself, you're kind of self limiting... But we'll get to that later on."

Saying something vaguely ominous, three television trays unfold themselves with a snap of her fingers.

"So, coffee too? Anything in it? Sugar? Cream?"

Now it seemed they were both doing their best but...

Were you being picked on...?

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

It seems that the Cross subspecies, contradicting my earlier research, prefers hunting in packs. No, not this time. This time I'd push back. Sovereign like I am. Courageous. I have to believe in myself if I want to escape the pitfall of being treated like her pet all the time. A little barb. I can do this.

"M-maybe it's a question of aesthetics. Or personal preference. Even if you might be weaker Joan, that just means you compensate with finesse, right? That p-probably makes your fighting style look a lot less..." I don't intend for that dramatic pause, damn it. Go on! "...brutish, right?"

Okay. So far so good. Continue with confidence.

"All black, no sugar."

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

"Less brutish? When I have my sword, sure..."

Reaching for a plate, the younger Cross seemingly feels the need to refute you for your own sake.

"But um... How did you put it sis? The last weapon a human has is their guts? I'm a swordswoman by trade but... I'm not afraid to get rough with my hands either, really, it's just a good skill to have in general... Took me years to actually split the mountain though... And Belial only got hurt by it a little, but hurting a Prince of Hell with a fist at all is impressive according to my teacher..."

"It is."

In other words, when it comes down to it, they felt like...

A human should be able to hit their opponent really, really hard.

Hard enough to split a mountain...

Whatever that actually meant...

After all, there was no way that was literal right?

...Right?

"But I needed to become strong... So I did it."

Finishing with that, then reaching out to butter a piece of toast, Liane's face tightens ever so slightly at these last words, a twinge of guilt passing through her that she nevertheless shrugs off.

"And if I can do it, you can do it too Suzume-san! Fighting alongside your Ga-Rei would be more effective anyway, there are stories of exorcists even strangling their enemies with the spirit chains... They can get pretty hands on with it."

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

Remembering my conversation with the other Ga-Rei owner I met, I wonder for just a second if I might have gotten myself a teacher with a style that was just a bit antiethical to mine.Splitting mountains? What the hell? Fighting princes of hell at least doesn't seem that outlandish considering what future-me so vividly showed to me, but what kind of feat was that supposed to be? What is wrong with these people to so casually talk about this?

"And if I can do it, you can do it too Suzume-san! Fighting alongside your Ga-Rei would be more effective anyway, there are stories of exorcists even strangling their enemies with the spirit chains... They can get pretty hands on with it."

"I uh, I don't know if Blues will like that."

Trying to keep up with those two seems to still take more energy than I am willing to extend, especially this early in the morning.

...wait, are they making fun of me again?

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

"Well don't bully her too much Joan."

Ultimately, it seems that Liane brings the session to an end herself.

"I'm a bit alarmed that you were off fighting demons but... Well, I can't say much about it now."

For a moment it feels like she's going to say something else, the two of them were interacting now, but the oddity in the air was clear from the content and tone of those conversations, almost like they were both trying too hard, even so...

"So let's just eat, I can figure out a training regimen later on... There are some cheats I think we can use..."

From then on it was mostly small talk.

The conversation about the supernatural falling mostly to the wayside, normality returns as they chat about the bizarre weather, the sudden wind storms and out of nowhere ice storms, about how the police were acting funny and didn't react to crimes in the expected way, even things like the best grocery store to use when shopping for fresh vegetables.

It was surprisingly normal, coming from their conversation about destroying buildings with their hands and fighting demons and gods, and while a lot of it seems overwhelming to you, the casualness with which they speak of it continues to declare it as a "reality."

A thing that violated your common sense, and only made the future seem even more uncertain.

Finally however, the younger Cross moves to leave.

Neither had talked about what they had actually wanted to talk about this morning upon seeing each other, but even so, it seemed like they were at least momentarily content with this outcome.

"I'll come back and visit again, but I have a friend waiting for me."

So saying, Joan had disappeared, footsteps vanishing long before her spiritual signature did, and closing the door behind her...

"...Sorry you had to see all of that, I know I turned into an awkward mess... Couldn't help it."

Liane raises a hand to her forehead as if to suppress a headache.

[Frantic Author]

Hitoshira Nagi
Inside of Ananta (?)

"He hurt my friends hee ho! I'm gonna smack him one, hee!"

A grin grows on my face as the small demon speaks, and his easy acquiescence, his willingness to follow through with the utter, most ludicrous kind of insanity; of the madness of heroes and villains. It's interesting, isn't it Lilith? It's interesting how much different and yet oh-so-similar to humans demons are.

"...No, no Stronger. There's no need for that, I'll go instead."

Ah.

She's... different, isn't she? She's not like the rest, is she? There's an inner beauty and strength in this demon that probably outclasses every other demon here combined. Ah.. I'm getting fired up. I'm excited, twitching almost, because I want to fight. I want to fight. I need to fight. But I can't fight her, no, not while Yagami's still locked up so many for so little reason.

"Mary", is it?

I'll see you on a battlefield of blood and thunder that carves existence itself asunder.

Why is Yagami even bothering with this sort of elaborate plan? It's not like he couldn't just defeat all of these demons alone - as much as I enjoy their company they aren't standing at the top of the thousands of echelons of demons that exist. They're... weak. Even if they're noble and bright and brave, that doesn't outweigh the simple truth that they aren't the strongest demons in the universe. The strong don't get trapped inside of Ananta, after all.

But...

Ananta's only existed in this plane for a few hours.

The way they speak of it, they've been here for much, much longer. These are demons who are 'symbiotes', in a way, yes? Demons who willingly were eaten in exchange for protection. Siphoning off meager amounts of Ananta's vast energy and now that it has entered the human realm... they can wait for a chance to escape.

And yet, as Mary stands, the fairy and the snowman laugh at her once more.

"No can do full-of-light Lady! We're going no matter what, hee ho!"

"Really?"

She sounds sad about it.

"Really!"

"I can't talk you out of it?"

"No, hee ho!"

A sigh leaves her lips, and I can't help but compare her to Elizabeth.

"Stay behind me then..."

And as my own demon watches her, I realize that Mary is not an ordinary sort of demon.

"Lady El... Are you...?"

This person is... extremely dangerous.

"I myself go where I am needed... If you are determined to step forward and need someone to help you do it, I will go with you. The man who exists up ahead tried to have me killed once, so I would rather no one go near him alone."

"You worry too much," I smile brightly at Mary, leaning against a weapon that is only made for violence. "As much as Yagami would like to, I don't believe he can bring himself to erase an existence so thoroughly."

"However... I am not a particularly talented fighter I am afraid; violence is a bit beyond my comfort zone."

"Maaaa, aren't you, though? No need to fear, Mary."

I raise my weapon above my head once more, grinning like a madman as I feel the sickening taste of the Kyuubi's red-black chakra swirling towards me, trying to entice me, pull me, tame me.

"I'll compose a symphony of violence that he can listen to until his heart wants to tear itself out of his chest!"

The ax slams down, and I can hear the defiant shriek as I try to carve through a multilayered section of reality and open it to everyone. It's a piercing sound that reverberates in my skull repeatedly, a beat that I can't ignore, a frustrating shrill sound that makes me want to smash my own head in.

But it's all that stands between myself and Yagami, so I'll just --

Crush it beneath my heel.

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

A diligent student would move right to the topic. She would realize it's probably not for the best to meddle in the private affairs of her teacher, ask about further education and keep a one-sided relation of guidance and admiration. A professional relationship right out of the playbook would be formed, beneficial to her own studies and her teachers professional dignity.

I guess it's good that I'm a smoking, class-skipping, entrance exam failing lowlife then

"You kind of brushed it off the last time it really was a topic. I think now it's time for the full story..." I increase the focus of my ESP. I do not want to actively meddle with her emotional state, but if this really became too heavy for her, a little push isn't exactly unethical either.

"I normally don't like probing...I do a lot of that just being in a room with people but...I don't think just awkwardly bottling things up is the way either. And you don't seem too inclined to share things by yourself, so this really is my only option."

[Airen]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

"...Well, you heard it from the fake one, right?"

While she normally would have hidden it, in fact, while she desperately wanted to continue hiding it from absolutely anyone and anything, her resolve to become a respectable teacher had put her in a position in which she could no longer bring herself to just lie.

"I never came back home. I'm a complete and utter failure of an older sister."

She just says it straight out.

An examination of herself that she believes to be true, something that she had done a long time ago that she could no longer take back.

"Eight years ago... A lot of the people that I was supposed to protect wound up dying all around me. They say it wasn't my fault, but it was, the one that goofed off while training was me and so I was weaker than I should have been, the one that acted reckless was me, the one that failed to be strong enough to really protect anything... All of it was me. Sure, I saved some people, sure, maybe it would have been worse if I hadn't been there but..."

A pause.

"Well, everything always seemed to go to hell around me back then... Even when we were kids, orphans on the street... Spirits came after me, I was a target, and she was caught in the cross-hairs... After the war, when that problem finally had tangible consequences, when the people I tried to protect wound up slipping through my fingers anyway I just... Decided to stay away."

She thought it was for the best.

The people around her had gotten hurt, maybe it was her fault, maybe it wasn't, but as far as she was concerned...

All of it was.

So she had stayed away from people she didn't want to get hurt.

Not just friends, but family too.

After all, when you had met her...

Hadn't most of her company been those who were already dead?

The irrational solution of a teenage mind that already had a tendency to blame itself, going straight through hell and being irrevocably changed as a result.

"I realized I couldn't protect her, or rather, I guess I just couldn't trust myself with that task anymore... So I let the church do it for me."

Her eyes are closed.

Now that she's started talking she can't really stop anymore, so...

"It's stupid I know. It was an apocalypse, you can't protect everyone from something like that but... Even if I say that, even if I realize that, it doesn't change that I left her behind. She seems to be doing alright, I paid for whatever I had to for her sake, but that was just to make myself feel better about it... I never came back home."

Being separated got easier over time.

And then when it had hit her and she suddenly regretted it, it had become too late to take it back.

"But it looks like... She grew up alright."

Eyes covered in shadows...

Her head tilts down towards the floor.

"But she probably hates me huh? Always too polite to show it... A good kid, even now that she's grown up I guess..."

[I3uster]

Suzume Oshino
Original Aoyama ~ Liane's Residence
Sunrise

When I asked her I didn't expect a comfortable conversation, but not for these reasons.

There is something curious about my ability. While humans generally put emotions into terms that are easily cut off categories, this often conflates a lot of mood states. Love, for example can mean a lot of things, from romantic to familial love over just really, really liking ice cream. Languages differ in the way they described emotions and the nuances in them, but in the end doing so is much like a color blind describing color through muted differences. Never exact, always an approximation.

However, when I feel something, I truly understand the emotion behind.

And the feeling Liane gives off as she talks feels just the slightest bit too familiar.

I don't want to hurt her. I want to comfort her. Hell, if I want to I can do so right now. Like the push of a button, a little sedation. And if it was just the slightest bit different, if there was some kind of breach behind her way of thinking that could let me draw that clean separation I sought, that could make me thing 'this isn't like anything I could possibly understand' then I probably would have done so.

But I can't not this time.

"It's easy isn't it?" I felt my voice grow raspier, as if scratching open my throat. But this is not the time to turn on the waterworks. This is the time to truly support her. Even if it hurt.

"Just thinking of hypotheticals. Of what you could have done, huh? With no reality to compare it to all that you see when looking back on a mistake is the utopia that could have been. Where nothing bad happened. After all it was just like a simple forking of paths, right? Just one thing you had to do differently and everything would have turned out for the better. But...reality isn't like that."

I exhale. It feels more like I'm talking to myself as it went on.

"There's never just one thing. There's always just the sum of our total actions and how we dealt with their aftermath. We can be negligent, cruel even, and our actions will have consequences we can never truly reverse."

I put my arm on her shoulder.

"And yet, sitting around and thinking of what could have been is just an indulgence. We have to deal with what actually happened. We have to look towards the future. Nothing you can do will bring the dead back to life...but Joan, she's still here. And if you regret the rift that has grown between you, there's things you can do that aren't just having awkward conversations over a cup of coffee..."

I clear my throat. My lips are twitching, but still, I manage to keep my composure for now.

"Maybe I'm talking bullshit and life really is just defined by simple crossings after all. But if it is, are you going down the right path in regards to her right now?"