Ga Rei: Exodus Nine (IC)

[Spinach]

Saki Ryuumonbuchi
Aoyama Ruins

“The same to you. All-or-nothing is off limits, but I’ll permit something-or-nothing.” Holding back a grin at the eyepatched butler’s self-conscious turn away from her, the girl turned away as well. Taking a step, an orb of burning flower petals shone into being beside the boy, radiating heat, swaying with the night air. “You may be used to being in the cold, but try not to catch one.”

Looking down at the pile of rubble she had scaled to reach this height, self-control gave way to an unseen grin.

“Using illness as an excuse never goes well with Phenex, after all. Something tells me the Great Devourer would be even less lenient.”

A similar flame lit up the path in front of the girl as she began her descent back to the ground, silently rubbing her eyes to at least make the effort of appearing presentable.

>>Yamuna>>

[Airen]

Mikagura Mika
Aoyama Ruins

It seemed that Cross was putting forward a bit more effort than her usual; with a tired Genbu having once more retreated into your body for the sake of resting before the final showdown, your own wanderings amongst the ruins of a once glorious park are filled with an ever increasing amount of noise.

If it wasn't the emergency vehicles it was the soldiers, and if it wasn't the soldiers it was the other ESPers and super-powered allies of humanity, with a certain goddess in white and blue standing out from amongst them, but still-

"Tch... Four Factors, huh...? That's some unfair nonsense..."

Standing out in her own way, putting away a thermos and campfire with a snap of her fingers as you approach, Liane Cross has an unusual expression of pure contemplation on her face; she seems to be using her ESP, "Chain of Memories" in an attempt to gain information on the opponent that will be faced come morning, while also giving out orders to suited men and women that come to her every few minutes or so, ordering them out into the city to take care of one task or another, the specifics of their tasks escaped you but...

...You hadn't bothered to really look into it, but she was pretty high up in the SDCD Chain of Command, huh...?

"Oh, Mikagura."

Of course, you hadn't planned on being spotted by her but, now that she's seen you, and that authoritative face has transformed back into a friendly one...

"Good timing, come over here for a bit. I still have to pay you back for helping me out earlier."

...It seems your path is moving in an unexpected direction again.

[Airen]

Makoto Fujioka
Aoyama Ruins

"..."

It's not like the bite hurts, but it's still rather alarming that she fails to shake it off, or rather, doesn't even try to do so...

Lost in her own thoughts, the question you pose to her is not the only thing that appears in her thoughts, indeed, differently from normal, it is a question that takes her awhile to acknowledge, to really get around to now that her thoughts are rapidly spinning out of control with the loss of her Summoner, the human that had stood at her side for so long that even it had truly forgotten how it had begun, but...

"...He was a fool, but he wasn't stupid."

...In the end, this is how she answers.

"There were some things in his life that he wanted to protect no matter what; it is not so uncommon a sentiment for human beings. He had the best chance against the Devourer and knew it, so long as it was in that body, his friend's body... He held the best chance, and he used that fact for all it was worth... And ultimately decided to save that friend too..."

It was that connection that had spared the world from "God's Thunder."

With the circumstances as they were, he was the only one that held a real chance from the start. The Devourer had been playing around, the moment it had used even a fraction of it's true worth the party had fallen before it except for him, the reality was that no one else would have been able to deal so devastating a blow to it, at least not in that encounter, and...

"Perhaps that was the real goal all along... Saving as many as he could no matter the cost... He was that kind of guy."

...As sad as it is to say, even she is unsure, but...

One theory that came to mind...

Was that was simply his way of asking "Chronos" to help those children he thought of as his own...

The ones that had forgotten a long past time at a long past orphanage.

...If that was the case.

That God would likely answer.

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"Umm, yes, I mean, kind of?"

She was a little bit awkward; while the pose and stature immediately brings the image of a Goddess to mind, the way she responds to that question hints at much more human-like imperfections, or at the very least, a convincing show of those human-like imperfections.

"But it wasn't a meeting about you per say, we just talked about the end of the world for a little while... I wanted everyone to help stop it you see? I tried to call out to you as well, but you couldn't hear me... Of course, back then it was probably for the best? You managed to find some peace in your own way, and I think that might not have happened if you had heard me too early..."

A pause, then:

"Ah, but yes, it wasn't a meeting about you! Mikagura knows you because that is her 'ability,' and I know who you are because I know who every human is, it is my job to know, and so I do."

She says this in a very matter of fact way, but also with a small smile.

"My name is Yamuna. I protect Humanity's 'Heart,' that distant Sea of Souls... It's nice to meet you while you are capable of remembering me."

[Verg Avesta]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

Ah, yes, there was that distasteful name once again: Mikagura. Medrod's face fell into something short of a cringe when he heard Yamuna mention that certain individual, not even bothering to hide his distaste for her.

"Of course. Should've expected Megabuta was hollering my name from the rooftops," he grunted, his voice completely impassive and without emotion. "Nothing less from a wonderful person such as her."

While this blue-haired young woman introduced herself, it didn't exactly shine any light to the situation for Medrod. Her stature and poise might have been very grand, to the point of holy, but, the way she answered him was... surprisingly human. To the point that all thoughts of hierarchy flew straight above Medrod's head, and he felt like he was staring at Noriko 2.0, especially considering the words that fell out of Yamuna's mouth. Heart of Humanity? That distant Sea of Souls? He was momentarily reminded of the horrible poetry that was discovered in the bathroom of the soba shop. Was she alright in the head?

... Still, he didn't want to be rude. Gloomy as his own might have been, there was no reason to be rude to this Yamuna. She had been nothing if not cordial with him. The least he could do was to respond in kind.

"O... okay. I'm sure you are," Medrod said, bowing his head slightly in his direction. "As for what comes to remembering you, well... I don't know what sort of horrible lies you have heard, but I think I have a good facial recollection. I shouldn't have trouble remembering you. So, uh... don't fret about it."

Awkwardly, Medrod scratched the back of his head. He had never been a people person, obviously, but even after his recent realization and awakening to what was considered small-talk and normal human interaction, women were a... mystery to him. In other words, they made him feel awkward. A wiser man might have said it was because of his teenage hormones that never got any work previously coming back with vengeance, but Medrod was not a wise man. Instead, he immediately found himself at loss of words about what he should have talked with Yamuna who had begun to talk with him out of nowhere.

So, obviously, he went with whatever came to his mind.

"You talked about 'meetings' and 'remembering everyone', so, uh... you're, what, a government worker? A secretary? Nice to meet you anyway," he spoke awkwardly. "And while I don't appreciate being talked about behind my back, I can... kinda understand it. I know I was a horrible person before, so if I did something to you or your friends... sorry. I know apology can't fix anything, but, uh... I'm doing my best to make up for past mistakes."

An awkward pause followed.

A very, very awkward pause, even considering the tension in the air because of the overall situation they were in.

"A-anyways, you know Red?" Medrod asked, trying to find something to talk about. "It's rare to see her act like that."

Crap.

Medrod quickly tried to pretend he didn't sound like he was sulking during that last sentence.

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"Government worker?"

She tilts her head slightly to the side, smiling as if she found the question a bit amusing, then-

"No, nothing like that. I'm a Goddess."

-Makes a somewhat alarming claim without a single bit of irony in her voice.

"I'm the one who's supposed to protect this world, or rather, my job is to protect the humans," a hint of sadness entering her voice at this, hinting at a somewhat suppressed feeling of inadequacy, the shaking of her head banishes the thought, "It's a little hard to believe right? Sounds like I'm crazy? I don't blame you... I've been a pretty lousy Goddess in a number of ways, even gave up on humanity for a bit when I blamed them for some things that happened to my friends... Long story... But I'm back now, and trying to make up for my absence... A crazy Devourer God seems to have shown up and taken over the place while I wasn't paying attention..."

A pause, then:

"But Red hmm? Dragon-san? I called her Kayda, but she never told me what her real name was," blatantly pointing at Red, who isn't looking this way any longer, the blue-haired Goddess (?) speaks confidently, "We fought together a long time ago under the same Master, I thought she would have forgotten me by now, but it seems that's not the case. Are you her Summoner now? Treating each other well?"

- - - Updated - - -

Saki Ryuumonbuchi
Aoyama Ruins

A certain Goddess had long held a certain habit.

It was a habit that Mikagura Mika couldn't help but dislike, but one that you yourself hadn't yet experience up until now, perhaps as a result of your life choices? Indeed, it was the sort of reflexive action that only happens when one slips and falls, and indeed...

That's exactly what you do.

Slipping a bit from the ruins of the tower, overestimating the little sparks of power that have returned to you, it is only natural for the muscles to slip up and let go now that the normal power is not only absent but your muscles are also basically torn to shreds, and with your butler long gone due to a sudden bout of self-consciousness of his 'cool' personality being compromised with his own two hands, there's no around to keep you from cascade falling a rather embarrassing -but relatively painless- fall to the ground below.

Or at least their normally wouldn't be such a person, but tonight-

"Careful, Saki-chan..."

-A Goddess is walking around amongst mortals.

Landing gracefully within outstretched arms, the blue-haired woman that had leaped up to control an uncontrollable descent...

"Although... It seems I've gotten rather good at these sorts of rescues?"

Seems to poke fun of herself as gravity allows a much more relaxed descent to the ground below.

[Katie]

Mikagura Mika
Aoyama Ruins

It appears that I was perhaps interrupting something after all. To see her work so hard as to figure out the capabilities of our opponent… I’m thoroughly impressed, and so maybe there’s enough time to back out before any lasting harm is don—

"Good timing, come over here for a bit. I still have to pay you back for helping me out earlier."

…I suppose that’s out of the question now, isn’t it?

“It’s not like I did much,” I say, trying to downplay the entire thing as much as possible. Honestly, I was rewarded with the result of all things. When things work according to my convoluted plans, I’m honestly happy enough. But such an explanation definitely would not fly for Liane, who is one of the most stubborn people in existence.

And so, taking the path of least resistance, I obediently walk up regardless of my words.

“I’m certain that there’s someone who could use a bit extra right now that isn’t me,” I state honestly.

[Verg Avesta]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

Goddess...?

Things had certainly gotten fantastical in a hurry.

Then again, considering what sort of disaster the world was heading towards in a hurry, it didn't seem too far-fetched. And now that Medrod looked at Yamuna more clearly, she certainly had this sort of... divine aura. He had met deities before, sure, and there was perhaps something similar in this woman now that he took a deeper look at her. Still, it was all tinted with a humane color that dispelled the natural distaste that Medrod had for all sorts of beings that proclaimed themselves as gods. Maybe those bad experiences before evaporated because of how she acted, or perhaps it was just her natural disposition, nevertheless, he didn't immediately get defensive as he had expected himself to do when he heard that term again.

"I see..." Medrod answered, trying to find the right words for a moment. "Sorry. I haven't been quickest to catch on to these things so... yeah. But don't worry. I believe you. It's just that gods aren't exactly what I'm used to. Still..."

Hearing her momentarily darkened, even sad tone, Medrod got a feeling that he should say something, anything. He might have still felt gloomy because of his own shortcomings, but wasn't this the sort of thing he wanted to be useful in? Helping others wasn't always about defeating their enemies. That he had learned the hard way. He might've been clumsy at it, be he still wanted to try.

"Still, the way I heard it, that Devourer isn't something any one of us could have stopped from appearing... not even he himself," he continued. "So don't beat yourself up over it. Losing faith is something that happens to all of us. I lost faith in, well, everything for most of my life. And yet, here I am. It might not mean much to a being like you, but if I can turn it around, well... it's not impossible for you, I think?"

He was about to pat her on the head but realized Yamuna's status as a deity again mid-gesture. Therefore, Medrod was left pawing for air momentarily, awkwardly, before moving his hand back.

"But yeah, who I mean with Red is her," Medrod continued, trying mask his previous faux-pas with more words.

What Yamuna spoke, especially the word 'Master' made him momentarily knit his brows together in distaste, but he quickly shooed that expression away.

"And I'm... I wouldn't call myself her Summoner. We're stuck together because of another deity, but..." Medrod paused, searching for the right words for a moment. "... It's nothing like that. I owe her... I owe her pretty much everything. It's hard to put it in words. If anything she's treating me far better than I think I deserve."

Putting it in words made Medrod frown at himself.

"I'm beholden to her, that's what. Calling myself her 'Summoner' just feels wrong. Disrespectful. It's... I dunno, more?"

It really was hard to put it in words.

[Airen]

Mikagura Mika
Aoyama Ruins

"Maybe..."

Brushing her hair from her eyes as she moves to stand, the older woman acknowledges the truth of those words with a shrug of her own shoulders, before reaching for a pouch at her side, the sounds of metallic objects clinging together resonating throughout the air.

"But well, it's not just about what you did..."

Seemingly finding what she was looking for, the expression on her face is slightly apologetic, face tinging slightly as she recalls the past, or rather, the fact that you had managed to personally glimpse into her past.

"It kinda feels like I missed a whole lot of birthdays you know? Kind of a shitty family friend, all things considered... So I figure I could at least be the bad influence one that hands over the questionable things."

Holding out her hand -and clearly expecting you to do the same- she drops what seems to be three bullets into your palm; they are engraved with what looks like a minuscule sign of the cross, along with a bunch of other symbols that vaguely resemble stars, and while they don't exactly glow, just holding onto them is enough to give you impression that you're holding some sort of "spell," inside of your hand.

"They're full of my magic. Pre-prepared shots, couldn't really manage my usual ones with the way my body was up until a few hours ago... Not much of a gift I know, but hey, I figure they should work in Beacon, I made em to your old man's specs, used a specific caliber ammunition for all of his guns."

-Cross Bullets x3-
Supernatural bullets made of condensed spiritual power and imbued with a number of human spells of exorcism and demon spells of amplification; while elemental variants exist, these are the "Final Type," made by Liane Cross after years of experimentation, designed to be used as an all purpose strike against any type of opponent and as a result are considered to be "Almighty," in nature. Due to being heavily reliant on these to fight during her time with a shattered soul, the effective force behind the bullets is "as powerful as she could manage," and is thus similar to that of a condensed "Megidolaon."

Can only be fired by a specific line of Spiritual Armaments, in Beacon's case, heavily amplifies the effective "gravitational pull," of the shots.

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"I see."

The news seems to make her happy, or at the very least, she smiles once she hears it.

"That sounds just like Kayda-san, she's the one who forced me to talk to others back in the day, asked for my opinions on things... The name Red is pretty cute for her too."

Yes...

Cheerfully clapping her hands in a very non-goddess way, the blue-haired woman laughs quietly to herself.

"That sort of relationship is the best Demon-Human relationship, friends rather than simple Master and Servant... It seems her luck with humans is rather good in that regard; more often than not she gets ones that are compatible with her... Then again, I suppose she is rather picky too about her humans, so that could be it?"

Yes.

Cheerfully talking at you as if you were old friends, the woman's smile is almost what you could call mischievous, the sort of look one would give off before playfully ribbing someone with their elbow, and-

"Still, don't let her run you over too much, that's how you wind up paying for her meals for the rest of your life. Master Zerah always grumbled about it when she conned me into it..."

Ah...

Zerah. Master.

That name again with those connotations...

[Verg Avesta]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"Hm. I draw the line somewhere. My wallet's not infin-"

Medrod's answer stopped dead in its tracks when finally registered the words Yamuna had spoken to him. The name that he had heard mentioned here and there. Immediately what sprung to mind was that reflection he had never seen, the one whose shadow seemed to stretch over him every time someone looked at him. Once again Medrod felt that same shade thrown over him and something cold touched his mind. Without even realizing it, Medrod gripped the handle of his sheathed sword hard, hard enough to make his knuckles white. It wasn't exactly anger, no; there were more nuances to it for that emotion to be labeled so simply.

But something in the back of his mind definitely cracked, like a sheet of glass hit with a stone; drawing big arcs of lightning-like tears upon its clear and tranquil surface.

Medrod didn't even realize why this reaction was different, not at first. It took the gears of his mind to spin in the air helplessly for a few moments before everything clicked together. What Red had told him. What Dr. Matsuda had told him. And now... what Yamuna had told him.

'Master'.

Somehow that word felt like vomit on his tongue now. Especially when associated with that looming presence that seemed to smother him every time he tried to set out on his own, to be his own self. A reflection he didn't want to be compared to. No, not reflection. If anything, Medrod himself was the reflection... and that's what made it all taste so sour.

Despite trying his hardest, Medrod hadn't gotten over that feeling of inferiority that he didn't want to admit.

Combined with the hatred he had felt from Red when she had spoken of him, it all spiraled into a murky mess that made everything so unclear.

Zerah.

That man had a lot to answer for. Numerous, numerous things. But the only one Medrod cared about...

... Was the fact that he had betrayed Red.

"Who is he?"

Without even realizing it, Medrod had taken a step closer to Yamuna. His face had grown completely cold, devoid of any actual emotion. Even his eye had brought back a shade of that grim determination that had kept him in leash not too long ago. For the first time in a while, Medrod actually emanated an aura that could be described as threatening. Not towards Yamuna, but towards the name she had mentioned. One-sided flame burning inside him.

"Where is he?" Medrod continued, his voice quiet and ice-cold. "Tell me."

Subconsciously, Medrod channeled his feelings of inferiority and shared sense of hatred gotten from Red into the menace creeping into the way he acted. That was all he could do.

After all...

"He has lot to answer to."

... Medrod didn't want to admit that feeling of bitter jealousy that also festered within him.

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"I don't know."

It's a very calm response.

While Red's behavior towards Zerah is always hostile, a likely result of the betrayal in the 'story' you had managed to piece together from so many different people, Yamuna doesn't speak about him in the same cold way, and indeed...

"...She's still mad right? I can't say I blame her."

...There's some distant affection for the man in that voice.

It's bizarre, because if she was a 'Goddess' as she had said she was, Zerah's ultimate betrayal of the Demons that had believed in him would have likely affected her as well, even so...

"Master Zerah was Master Zerah. He found the power to make a new world and made this one, a world that is only meant to hold humans inside of it. That story you were told... It's mostly true. He lied, and he betrayed, and that was wrong, and he certainly has some things to answer for, but even so... I can't hate him for it... They called him Messiah, but he made mistakes like any other human... Of course, I'm sure I'm biased, he always treated me a little different, I think I was made to resemble his sister?"

A pause...

"Regardless of that, he disappeared a long time ago. I don't know if he's dead or alive, he went off to try to undo what he did after we talked about it, and the last thing he said to me was... Was that he would come save me if I was ever in trouble, of course, he never came back... And that was thousands of years ago... But I like to believe he meant it."

Yeah...

In contrast to Red, some sort of 'love' still existed here for her old summoner.

In that sense, even if she had known where he was...

...It was possible she wouldn't tell you.

She was to him what Red was to you.

[Verg Avesta]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

Master, Messiah, Savior, Creator of this World...

... All those titles were enough to put Medrod into a foul mood.

The shadow that had been stretching over him, looming like it was mocking him, now felt like it was actively trying to crush him under its weight. This Zerah... the more he heard about him, the more Medrod felt like there was nothing he could do to ever erase this feeling of inadequacy. It was bolstered by growing jealousy that he refused to acknowledge, leaving behind just a burning pit that made him feel nauseous at some part of his mind. To exist as an inferior reflection of someone like that was not what he wanted, yet it was the lot he had been given. When it all was added to the gloom that had been growing inside him, well...

... It was no wonder that Medrod felt like he wanted to end this conversation already.

It wasn't fair for Yamuna. Honestly, she hadn't wronged Medrod in any way. But with the target of his ire apparently long gone into the winds of the worlds, she was the only conduit remaining to channel it. So that was Medrod did. Unfairly, unjustly, but unable to find any other way. He took his distaste of the man and let the full brunt of it now color his image of the Goddess before him.

It didn't make him feel better.

But it was something.

Right now he needed to have 'something' to hold on to.

Pulling his hood to hug his head closer, Medrod gazed at anywhere but the woman. He let his eye wander in the ruins, trying not to let his emotions show on his face but failing miserably. That hand on the handle of his sword remained, seeking whatever comfort it could from Chrysaor. In that turmoil that welled in his mind, Medrod tried to find something to say but came up empty-handed. What could he say? That he hated Zerah? That he felt jealous of him? That he wanted nothing to do with him? What was it that he even wanted? For people to stop comparing him to this Messiah? Honestly, at this point, it was he himself that did it, not others. And that was the worst part. Others he could tell to shut up and stop doing it. But himself? There was no running away from that comparison that existed within his own mind and found him wanting, an inadequate copy, a second-rate facsimile.

So what did he end up doing?

The only thing he really could.

"So... just a coward, then. Figures."

Spit venom at nothing.

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"...Yes, perhaps."

In the end she agrees at least a little bit with your judgement of him.

She doesn't explain why, nor does she seek to prod you further; while she has been away for living humans for such a long period of time that she has lost much of her social grace, she is still highly attuned to the emotions of others, and because of that, senses that she's more darkened your mood than lightened it, as had been her original intention by coming over to meet with you, but...

"...But does that not show how imperfect he actually was? Titles are embellishments, in the end, Zerah was just Zerah..."

His shadow wasn't something that was impossible to escape, no, in the first place, it had always been a shadow that was different than your own; it might look similar, but she also seems to think it's not something that will necessarily trap you.

Not just because he's seemingly dead, but rather...

Because you were different in quite a few ways.

Still... Those sorts of thoughts must be banished by the self, in the end, there is not much she can say here now, and feeling slight guilt about reawakening thoughts that had been momentarily buried...

"Nevertheless, I must be going now."

...The Goddess moves to excuse herself.

"I will participate in the battle against the Devourer along with the rest of you... So do not worry, no matter how hopeless it seems, I'm sure we can win if everyone works together."

A pause, then:

"...But if you keep looking for him, and if you find him..."

Eyes close.

"Please pass on a message: I am still waiting for him. He is late."

With that...

She turns to walk away, innate grace still intact.

--}i{--

[Verg Avesta]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

Words were easy, emotions difficult.

It was one thing to speak of how something was, how one should perceive things and how to sort out one's feelings. But it was wholly different to actually do it. Medrod now knew that the hard way. Zerah was Zerah. Medrod was Medrod. It should've been easy to sort out, it really should have... but in his mind, the whole situation was tangled into a mess he did not know how to sort out. For example, the term of Messiah. A savior who created a world for humanity as a whole. Wasn't that rather close to what Medrod now wished to be, a savior of sorts to those in need? A recipient for the wishes of others? When comparing one who had already accomplished something and one who was still trying to figure out how to do it, the outcome was clear. The latter was at disadvantage from the start.

And that was just one instance.

There were too many others just like it.

Needless to say, it Medrod himself who was putting the brunt of those feelings of inadequacy upon himself, but such was his mind. It was the same sort of mindset that had made him seek revenge for eight years, and had made him decide to forsake his own life for others. He didn't know middle-ground. He didn't know moderation. In that sense, he was still as much of a child as he had been eight years ago. Never having been allowed to grow up, he was emotionally stunted in that respect, unable to ease up on the gas-pedal when he got going.

The one Medrod compared himself to was a man who had saved the world. He himself had failed to protect just one city in his own eyes.

It was too bright. Too radiant. The shadow Zerah cast was too great.

It was suffocating.

And now, at the brink of the end, Medrod felt it more powerfully than ever before. In a way, he hoped he would have never learned of Zerah. But that 'what if' was just that: a 'what if'. And he hated 'what ifs'. Thinking about things like that didn't make him feel any better now. Instead, it just strengthened the clouds in his mind. It left him feeling miserable on the eve of the final battle, even though he should have been at his very best.

Feeling inadequate, feeling jealous, feeling second-best, feeling angry, feeling helpless, feeling judged and compared...

And most of all, unable to forgive him.

Add it all with a piece of emotion that he couldn't really place, that was similar yet different from all of the others.

--- But most, if not all, was just in his head.

A human is his own harshest judge.

But it was not something Medrod could really understand. Numbing emotions had been his way for eight years, so letting them out had become both a strength of his and also a weakness. Defeated by the very same weapon that had lent him strength just hours prior. Just a few misplaced words and he spiraled into a self-doubt.

"..."

Wordlessly, not agreeing nor disagreeing, Medrod had let Yamuna leave. He slowly walked over to the nearest wall, allowing his back hit the cool surface of the ruin. Letting go of the strength that kept him standing, Medrod slid down that wall, ending up sitting on the rubble. There, staring at nothing before him, he felt a momentary solace, knowing that people wouldn't bother him here.

Where was that confidence that he had been full of before?

How had he lost it so easily?

He didn't know.

Medrod gazed up at the sky, heaving a long sigh.

He needed to get it together. He needed to find that bravado that had encouraged others before. Even if he had to fake it, he had to do it. For those who'd it help. Or would it even help anyone? Maybe he was just overestimating himself?

Doubt born from doubt, gnawing at his thoughts.

"... I hate this," Medrod quietly murmured, for no one to hear.

And with every new thought, he dug himself a little deeper into the emotional hole he himself had created.

>> A Certain Demon Slayer >>

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

Where the others seem to be psyching themselves up for the confrontation with an entity that was apparently akin to "God," you find yourself slipping down an emotional hole of your own making...

It's a sense of gloom that had drawn one or two people to you out of concern, an opposite aura from the confident bravado that you had been putting on mere hours before, that you had been able to keep up even in front of the God of Human Darkness, a God that had ultimately seemed to relent -albeit not in a way it would ever admit too- at those very same words.

Others would think it is silly to judge yourself so harshly in the face of those achievements, of course there are certainly things to regret, things that you are never allowed to forget, but it's important to acknowledge the 'lights' in your life as well, but...

It's easier to sink.

That's a sign of weakness all it's own, and realizing that just makes you sink all the faster.

Even so...

Even so...

"...Man, what's up with you?"

While you had managed to escape the direct sight of most...

"Liked the kid giving speeches better, he seemed to know the right kind of attitude to take; saving the world and all that, it's exciting! It's not an opportunity that just comes along every day you know!"

A certain annoying white-haired man in a red-coat, one you hadn't seen in a week or two...

...Has taken position right at your side, standing up with his back to the wall, watching over the others as they prepared; he had come down from above, likely leaping from the rooftop itself, and...

...Continued to talk to at you in spite of your body language declaring you didn't want to be disturbed.

[Verg Avesta]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

Of all the people, Medrod certainly hadn't expected him.

No, in the first place, he was surprised that the white-haired man was still alive. His attitude was gonna get him killed one day. Then again, he was also the type of person to survive from just about anything. Still, in any case, having him appear here and now and speak those words was definitely a surprise. An annoying surprise, considering Medrod didn't exactly seek company of others right now, but a surprise nonetheless. It did raise a question of 'What did he care?' but Medrod simply filed it under 'His usual nosiness'. The demon hunter definitely enjoyed riling others up and guess Medrod had presented a perfect target.

Coming to that conclusion in his mind, Medrod heaved another sigh and glanced at the demon hunter momentarily.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I'll try to get my act together for when it's go time."

Medrod was about to leave it there. A simple apology and promise to try to do what was expected of him when the time came. However, now that he had opened up his mouth it was hard to not let words crawl out of it. There were many things he wanted to talk about, not necessarily to the demon hunter but to someone in general. Words and complains all spawning from the fact that his mind was a gloomy mess right now, on the exact moment it shouldn't have been.

Therefore, Medrod decided to speak some more.

More to himself. Less to the demon hunter.

"... Heard some unpleasant truths. Realized some unpleasant facts," he continued speaking. "Understood I'm a second-rate reflection of someone else. It's just... just..."

Medrod rubbed his temples, the mental exhaustion clear on his face.

"... I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to even think anymore."

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"Maybe you're thinking too much?"

His answer is immediate.

Staring out with his hands in his pockets, seemingly at peace with the fact that he's been dragged into a battle that goes far beyond his usual pay-grade, the half-demon simply shrugs as an 'observer' to your worries.

"The past is neat and all, but dwelling too much on it's a mistake."

Another shrug:

"Don't know about reflections or unpleasant truths, but whoever it is, you aren't going to be able to be whoever they were. That's a fact. Course, they won't be able to be you either, so it all evens out in the end."

A wave of the hand:

"I couldn't be my old man. Still ain't him today, still living life my own way. Life goes by too fast to worry about trying to be someone else, and trust me, no one is perfect as they seem at first glance, not worth trying to be anyone else but you."

Flipping a coin now absentmindedly, a laugh emerges from the taller man.

"And seeing as how there's a God threatening to outright erase us tomorrow morning, we sure as hell don't have time to worry about things like that, should be trying to minimize regrets if anything, not drowning in them."

[Verg Avesta]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

"I know that I'm thinking it too much. It's just... I can't help it, you know?"

Medrod gave a sarcastic, tired chuckle and rummaged for his cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket. He fished out the pack only to see that not many remained. Slowly, he popped one into his mouth and wordlessly offered them to the demon hunter as well. Afterwards, he put the pack back and lit up his own cigarette, letting the smoke rise towards the blackened sky. For a moment he focused on the scent, the taste and the sight of the small trail of grey rising ever higher.

"And I know this isn't the time to be feeling like this, but... I'm not that good with... with..." Medrod gestured towards himself vaguely. "... All of this, you know? I don't know how to deal with it."

His red eye scanned the groups of people far from them.

"It all started with others comparing me to him. I rebuked, told them I was nothing like him. They shut up about it," Medrod continued. "But now it's me who's doing the comparing, I can't exactly tell myself to shut up. The more I hear about him, the less what I can do feels important or worth it. It's not even that he's perfect or anything, just that... even if he's not, I still can't compare."

Medrod took a drag off his cigarette, his brows knitting together into a frown that he almost always wore when speaking of Zerah.

"He saved those he wanted to save, he defeated those he wanted to defeat, he was acknowledged by a weapon that I wasn't acknowledged by," Medrod listed things, his voice growing more and more annoyed with every word. "He betrayed the trust of Red, he betrayed the trust of his allies, he still gets forgiven by some of them, he went and disappeared so I can't even punch him for this whole mess...!"

Having worked himself up into a something of a tirade, Medrod slammed his fist against the wall in anger.

"And worst of all is that I have to feel like this about the fact that he was Red's---!"

Immediately, Medrod's mouth snapped shut and he swallowed the rest of the words he was going to say. Whatever lay beyond that path was not something he exactly acknowledged himself, so his mind went and pulled the emergency breaks.

Instead, the younger man ended up looking at the demon hunter with question in his eye.

"... How exactly am I supposed to stop feeling something like this?" he said.

[Airen]

Medrod Pendragon
Aoyama Ruins

He had thought his last speech was pretty good.

Waving off the offered cigarette, the man that had calmly listened to your rants without commenting was not doing so purely out of politeness, but rather, because he wasn't exactly used to these sorts of talks, and was taking a bit to come up with an answer appropriate for an elder, but...

"...Well, some of that is probably just your age acting up kid... Teenager right? Rough years. Lots of things are gonna get stuck in your head, you're gonna feel awful basically all the time, sometimes for no reason at all, sometimes because you wind up with bad luck with women, with friends, hell maybe just bad luck in general... Since you got caught up in this mess, I'm gonna say you've got the last..."

It's a rough truth, a blunt truth, but also not the only truth...

"Still, there's no need to compare yourself to whoever that guy was; which is easy for me to just say, I know. But you've got your own purpose; this Messiah guy didn't jump out and save a good chunk of a city from that mud, and life is life, if you think 'just a city' is worth less than 'saving the world' then I don't really know what to tell ya. Wasn't worthless to the people you saved, that's what matters right?"

Another shrug:

"But really, now that you've got it in your head there's no easy answer for it, but I'll tell you what's not gonna help you deal with it."

Another flip of the coin:

"Sitting alone thinking about it. That's what friends are for right? Share the burden and all that, at the very least they can distract you from it. I think you know this too, otherwise..."

A laugh:

"...Why the hell would you be talking to me right now?"