Maybe posting the first half will get me to work faster on the second.
So, yeah, this went out of hand a little bit, since initially it was just a pwp, but I guess there are some little bits of exploration regarding how Saber might view the HF choices.
That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it.
Just Add Dragons
It was decided. Having Sakura and Rin’s relationship on the mend was not all good.
Shirou supposed it was only a matter of time. Sakura had once explained to him that Rin was an idol even to her, that she had always wanted to be like her older sister. It usually manifested in subtle ways—like body language or the occasional way she acted at school—but tonight it had apparently decided to boil up at once and explode.
“We’re going to solve this, now.”
Although as an explosion it was less of a fiery eruption and more like the chemical reaction when dry ice exploded inside a bottle. So it was when the purple-haired witch had dragged Saber in from the Servant’s designated room and without even so much as a gesture, did something to slam all doors shut until the three of them were locked in Shirou’s room. The action, had it been a part of a horror movie, would clearly signify Shirou was going to be levitated in place and eviscerated next, or perhaps dragged into some dark portal that appeared between the tatami.
Still, even with the promise of a doom like nothing his mind could comprehend, he kept his eyes on Sakura, avoiding Saber’s gaze.
It was just that uncomfortable.
The past few weeks had been idyllic otherwise. Like the relief after a long hospital stay or other similarly stressful event. Although the pall of what had happened still nagged at them all—Shirou still had yet to work up the courage to even consider how devastated he was that another person, family even, had died where he had lived instead—the fact that the rest of them had somehow managed to come out of the other side of it all more-or-less in one piece was enough to be eternally grateful for.
The fact that, when he finally was functional enough to return to a somewhat everyday routine, he had noticed the way Rin and Sakura’s relationship had improved, that alone would have been worth any and every sacrifice to him. Something that was truly wrong set right. The fact that Rider and Saber both gained a new life and experience out of it set the bar so far out of reach he was certain he would never ask for more—even with everything else he had to lose along the way.
Much less his own recovery, which had been far faster than Rin had initially predicted, probably than even Illya had accounted for. Despite the “cheap container” Shirou’s soul had been placed into—some kind of ether body not unlike a homunculus—the level at which he had regained full control over his mind and form had been, in a word, miraculous, even for some evocation of True Magic. Quite possibly the only reason Saber had even been marginally pleased with the situation had been the fact that her presence seemed to help his recovery; otherwise Shirou believed that she would have completely avoided him. Within a week, he was fully functional, though Rin still promised she was going to look into a better container.
“Because I swear, something’ll happen, and you’ll keel over dead when I’m least expecting it,” she had said. “It would be my luck.” And now, with the short break they had before the start of the new school year, she had left town to track down if she could one of the famous puppet masters of the Association.
Which might actually have led up to this explosion. Without Rin around to be a moderating influence (read: to boss them around), Sakura seemed more stressed. It might be a strange thing to take, the idea that Sakura felt less stressed with a demanding presence around, but it was something to focus on. Without Rin, there were fewer direct confrontations, as Saber was decidedly a stone wall and Shirou stubbornly avoided the uncomfortable feeling permeating the house when he could.
It was just terribly uncomfortable. Where he had accepted certain sacrifices and fought through literal blood and steel to deny others, his partnership with Saber had been in the “sacrifice” column. As much as he wanted to help her, as much as he intuitively knew that she was pursuing something as broken and desperate as he did and wanted to help her with that—in the end, he was only human. Choose one, choose the other, and in the end, even presented with her still alive and capable of being “saved” before him, he could not risk it.
Even if he did risk it, just a little, in the end. With the same stolen cheat he had taken from the Witch of Betrayal, he had broken the bond that Saber shared with Sakura, then Sakura shared with Angra Mainyu.
Technically, now, Saber remained as his Servant.
Yet he felt entirely too embarrassed by what he had put her through. Moreover, with how prideful she was—
“Senpai, I’m serious, you can’t even look at her!”
Perhaps his concern really should have been Sakura’s pride, in the end.
Saber fidgeted as well, likewise looking anywhere but her Master in this enclosed environment. Of course, as it was Shirou’s room, nothing could really take her mind from the situation, as everything her eye was drawn to only looped back to the person before her. “This was Rider’s idea, was it not?”
Sakura’s voice calmed a bit as she nodded. “Yes, it has become that bad. The two of you have been tense around each other for a while now, and I can’t stand it any longer. Neither can Rider, and even Nee-san is fed up.” Sakura had her hands on her hips in a very Rin-like pose. Yet another thing she had apparently picked up from more substantial time with her sister. “Since I’m partially to blame, it is only fair I try and help.”
Somehow, the way she phrased that made Shirou break out into a cold sweat. He fought back a shiver. “Sakura, I’m not sure this is something that you can fix…”
“Indeed,” Saber said, reluctant but also appearing like she wanted to ward off a plan that would put her on the spot. “Shirou and I will work it out eventually, it is not something we can afford to ignore—”
“By stubbornly ignoring each other.”
Saber looked somewhere between nervous and embarrassed, the way she furrowed her brow and her eyes dipped away. “It is not like that, just…”
“Just?”
Even Shirou couldn’t help but lean in closer at this: Saber being so chastised was probably an once-in-a-lifetime event. Meaning Shirou might get another stab at it, since this might be considered something of a second life. “It is complicated,” she said.
Sakura held out her arms. “We’re not going to go anywhere.” Somehow, she managed to make that sound absolutely sympathetic and open-hearted while at the same time some kind of invisible threat.
Shirou looked as if he wanted to cry “I want to go home now” followed by the rueful grin of someone laughing lamely at their own joke.
Saber was long in coming with the words, thinking them over thoroughly before testing them to the air. “There are many things. I understand that my presence is in fact a benefit to regulating the energy you still receive, just as Rider’s presence is helpful, and I accept that. Too, it seems as if the summoning thread that connected Shirou and myself is at least partially beneficial to his recovery,” and she gave Shirou a strange look when she said that, “and I am glad for it. However, I do not have any other purpose here, as my goal is now impossible.”
Sakura’s expression softened even more and Shirou could not even help what was probably a pitying look as well. It was almost like the roles were reversed, with Shirou’s goal so clear and hers now out in the aether. Plus, even if she held no grudge against Shirou for his part in it, he was very much responsible for her plight, both having failed her as a Master and then cursing her to stay here with them rather than put her out of her misery.
“I am glad to see the both of you recovered,” Saber admitted, “enough so that my purposelessness is an acceptable sacrifice.” To that, she allowed a small smile. “Yet I also feel…that I can only be in the way. It is something I am somewhat familiar with, and certainly do not wish to repeat as I did in life.”
“The affair between your queen and one of your knights,” Shirou blurted, unable to help himself. Even with everything that had happened he was still pleased to have any kind of insight as to who Saber once was. A small and possibly meaningless victory in the long run, but it seemed important to him.
Saber nodded. “I wished them no ill, but my very position and presence, like here, dictated that I was only troubling their hearts.”
Frowning, as if trying to draw the comparison between them, Sakura asked, “How exactly are you in the way?”
Once again looking embarrassed, Saber took another moment to formulate her thoughts. “There are things that I feel when seeing the two of you that are somewhat…painful for me.” She sighed. “Perhaps more than they should be. It is like viewing a very different life that was once an option, long ago.”
It was Shirou’s turn to frown, trying to add things up, but Sakura nodded. “You told me once before.”
Saber nodded again, but did not elaborate on what they were referring to. Instead, she finally met Shirou’s eyes and regarded her former Master evenly. “I also once spoke with you about your father, about the last war.”
He nodded. Probably the only thing they had fully discussed in the weeks since the war.
“I think that, contrary to what you believe, he would have approved of your choices. It compounds the feeling of pain, since it is something I, too, could possibly have experienced. It is even possible that my wish, if it were made true, would mean that I would have.”
“Had time and the freedom for love and romance and all sorts of things,” Sakura said.
It was very, very faint, but color came to Saber’s cheeks. “It is shameful, but in addition to all of this, it was…pleasant, I suppose I would say, to have a partner such as Shirou in this endeavor. Someone who understands the things I do, but is also, um,” she seemed unsure of her words now, “…human enough to pursue his own heart as well.”
Sakura nodded, then worded it entirely differently. “So, what you’re saying is, you are uncomfortable around him because, ultimately, you might fall in love.”
Saber blinked at her. Shirou did the same.
Sakura looked this close to rolling her eyes, like it was a physical effort not to. “Senpai is very much worth falling in love with. I don’t think that should be a concern.”
“Um,” Saber began. Absolutely nothing of the king remained; this was definitely the person that had been confused as to what was coming out of Sakura’s mouth it might as well have been a foreign language. “I do not believe…”
“You and Shirou have a connection. It would be terrible to deny that as well.” Sakura nodded—this time reminding Shirou of something that she had taken from Taiga. Acting as if she were all-knowing, yet entirely harmless with that knowledge. “Not only in spirit, but, he has recovered faster thanks to you.”
“Um…” Saber seemed to be building up to something.
Shirou wanted to complain that he was still in the room and that they were speaking about him like he was not present. His mind could not come up with a sharp enough statement, however, as he tried to both process the very idea that Saber would feel that way or that Sakura would be the one to air it out for all to see.
“Then if it will help you move in the right direction, I have an idea.” Sakura’s face colored violently, but she somehow pushed on with a clear, confident statement. “Senpai can make love to you.”
Actually, Shirou decided it was not a confident statement at all. Because he was certain at this point his brain was filling up inaccurate information in place of the shy, demure manner of speaking Sakura normally fell to.
“Wh-wh-wh-wh—” Apparently, his thoughts transmitted across the Servant connection to Saber, who stuttered out in confusion as to what her own mind had just processed.
“Because Saber-san has been offended as a woman, it is the only way I know how,” Sakura admitted. “Senpai, don’t lie. You must think she’s beautiful as well.”
It was a trap. Trap. Trap trap trap trap. Shirou’s sense of danger was going off in a way that it had not since fighting for his life. Only this was worse. This was fighting for his life and how he would live, not simply if he would die.
Some strange, random part of his mind came to the forefront and said this must be what it’s like when you ask a girl to marry you. Only more confusing.
1. Don’t argue when she gets like this.
2. No way, that’s crazy.
NO NEED TO VOTE I'll be posting them both eventually.