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Thread: New Study Proves that You Must Avenge Your Father's Murder

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    New Study Proves that You Must Avenge Your Father's Murder

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/chi...y-matur,36851/

    WASHINGTON—Citing the central role the process plays in cognitive development, a study released Thursday by the American Psychological Association found that boys do not reach emotional maturity until avenging the murder of their father. “Our research indicates that a young man’s psyche is not fully formed until he successfully tracks down, confronts, and finally slaughters the man who took his father’s life,” said the study’s lead author, Dr. Christina McCauley, who noted that a male’s maturation process typically begins with years of replaying the murder in his mind, spending countless hours studying the one tattered old photo of the killer in his possession, and befriending a hermetic martial arts master who teaches him to control his rage and use it to his advantage. “In addition, we found that the exact moment a boy enters adulthood coincides with the experience of standing above his father’s killer and saying something to the effect of ‘Look at me, you coward,’ or ‘What, you don’t remember?’ before driving a knife into the trembling individual’s chest.” McCauley added that the final stage in a boy’s mental development occurs when he backpedals from the killer’s dead body, looks down at his own hands, and then openly weeps upon realizing he has completed his years-long quest.
    It's an important part of growing up and achieving full maturity into a functioning adult. I always thought so before but I wasn't sure because my father has yet to be murdered so I can't avenge him. Hopefully, it happens soon. Don't want to stay a kid forever after all.

    Thoughts on the article? Personally, I always thought the onion was reliable when it comes to these sort of things. Anyway, I have been getting ready for it. I even got the whole Punisher outfit with the skull. Just need some heavy artillery and I will be ready to go when my father's murdered.

    Not sure if I should go the Batman route instead and abstain from killing my father's future murderer or not so I can have him locked up instead. Don't think I got the money for it.

  2. #2
    黒いスサノヲ, Black Susano'oh IhaxlikeNoob's Avatar
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    Oh, hahahaaha

    Wtf is this.
    NASUVERSE STAMPEDE!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by IhaxlikeNoob View Post
    Oh, hahahaaha

    Wtf is this.

    The onion is very educational and teaches you important life lessons.

    I mean they even included a video on their studies. Obviously, they know what they are talking about.

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    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    Question: how would killing my father factor in this?
    Take revenge on yourself, I guess?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

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    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Siriel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    Question: how would killing my father factor in this?
    If you kill your father then you become your father.

    Is that really what you want?
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

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    The Long-Forgotten Sight Rafflesiac's Avatar
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    Shit, I need to rehearse my one-liners.

    I wonder if "arranging" for an "accident" to occur messes with the coming-of-age.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    canon finish apo vol 3

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    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siriel View Post
    If you kill your father then you become your father.

    Is that really what you want?
    No, to become your father you have to have yourself as your child.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

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    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    Can't I just, I don't know, teach things to myself and take me to the park?
    You can try.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    Question: how would killing my father factor in this?



    Edit: also batman
    It depends did you do it at your own violation or did so by accident through some cruel game instigated by some insane supervillian? An example would be was your father about to be hanged by some bandit when you were a child, and the bandit offered you the chance of saving your father by shooting the rope with a gun he gave you but you missed and killed your father?

    Or, is this like you have an alternate personality or something? If you eradicate the alt. persona it should also count.

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    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    So what do you do if you, yourself (no alternate personalities or other parties involved), are the murderer?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby View Post
    So what do you do if you, yourself (no alternate personalities or other parties involved), are the murderer?
    Okay, first things first you need to get a time-machine.

    Then you have to go into the past and kill yourself before you kill your father.

  12. #12
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Siriel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby View Post
    So what do you do if you, yourself (no alternate personalities or other parties involved), are the murderer?
    Then you've already avenged your father.

    You see, he was going to be killed by someone like...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    what if i did it

    to feel
    this guy, eventually.

    But by killing him first, you deprived the would-be murderer of the satisfaction, thus avenging your father before he was even slain.
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    At that point, might as well go for 100% completion like in The One.
    It's the next step of course after beating yourself to death and continue to remain a constant through sheer force of maturity. Power of growing up is not to be underestimated.

  14. #14
    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    Then Kirby is an asshole, he stopped my character development


    he's basically kiritsugu shooting kirei
    Resurrect the father with Grail Mud, kill him again. Bam, your development's back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

  15. #15
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Siriel's Avatar
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    So basically this article is telling young men to murder their father and themselves.

    It's a controversial stance but I'm glad someone out there was willing to take it.
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    i'm doing it for superpowers, man, not maturity
    That's what you tell yourself now but after you killed your 1826382664 doppelganger you begin to realize that you're doing it for something more than just power.

    You're doing it for maturity.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    Wait
    Wait

    Waitwaitwaitwait


    Does this mean that if I keep on killing and reviving my father (think Krillin from DBZ) I can eventually achieve enlightenment?
    This as well.

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    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    I will avenge all your fathers.

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    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Siriel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    I'm not, I would prefer studies condoning the murder of everyone over the age of 25, but God knows the academic community isn't going to support that.
    Baby steps man. Baby steps.
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

  19. #19
    I told 'em, I told 'em. Bugrit! eddyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgeburner90 View Post
    I'm not, I would prefer studies condoning the murder of everyone over the age of 25, but God knows the academic community isn't going to support that.
    I definitely wouldn't, I'll be there in a little while.
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  20. #20
    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    I will avenge all your fathers.
    You raises a good point.

    Can you mature by avenging someone else's father?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

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