WAKAME SENTAI! SHINJIRANGERS!
The city of Fuyuki; a peaceful town in the heart of the greatest country on Earth, Japan. For generations, the proud citizens of Fuyuki had lived in peace and harmony.
Yet, an evil shadow now fell upon the town. Literally, as the gigantic, metal face of an old man eclipsed the sun; the wicked visage resting upon a base of steel and flanked by two cylinders that could only be the cannons of evil.
“KEKEKE! FUYUKI Argh, kek.” The evil laugh was one known to all, and filled adults and children alike with terror and mild annoyance. “Too long have you refused my demands to nourish the soil! If you will not be green, you will be cleaned!”
It was the voice of Doktor Zolgen, the maddest, and oldest, of all the geniuses that had plagued the fair city of Fuyuki.
The cold hand around the heart of those who lived in city closed its fist; how could they resist the madman? What hope did they have?
Yet in the rising sea of despair, a youthful voice emerged.
“Not so fast, Dr. Zolgen! Your reign of terror ends now!”
Clad in red and white, crowned with the headband of justice from which protruded the legendary wakame, the voice belonged to none other than Matou Shinji.
“Is that you again, Shinji? Bah!” From the midst of the steel fortress, a disdainful snort echoed. “You are but one boy, what can you do against the pinnacle of engineering; the MAKIRI 2000?!”
As if to emphasize its master’s point, the eyes of the Makiri 2000 shone with a dire light, and for a moment the young hero’s confidence wavered before he steadied himself.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Zolgen! I am never alone, for I am…”
“Without thinking of odds, ShinjiRed!”
“With impeccable hair, ShinjiBlue!”
“With a thousand phone numbers, ShinjiYellow!”
“With a disdain for authority, ShinjiGreen!”
“With the charm of a high schooler, ShinjiPink!”
Like a rainbow-colored miracle, where there had stood one Shinji, now there were five; dressed in the five colors of justice to stand against evil.
“And together we are…
WAKAME SENTAI, SHINJIRANGERS!”
Five seaweeds as one, standing against evil, it was no wonder that even Doktor Zolgen fell silent in discomfort. Yet, from the depth of the Makiri 2000, he hatched a most heinous plan.
“I have underestimated you, ShinjiRangers, but no more!” At his words, the two cannons of evil opened wide, but what came out was far worse than any laser. “Face…THE CLOAK!”
From within the two cylinders came a fabric that spun upon itself to form a cape, flying with wings of injustice toward the five heroes that could only jump for cover. Alas, the beautiful ShinjiBlue was struck, for he could not dive out of fear of losing his signature trait.
“No! My perfect hair!”
“Ah, it got ShinjiBlue! Quick, cut him out!”
Watching their comrade awkwardly struggling against a piece of fabric, it took the combined skills of the four remaining ShinjiRangers to free him.
And free him they did, once more turning toward Dr. Zolgen.
“That was a dirty trick, Zolgen!” Speaking with strength and a lack of foresight, the energetic voice belonged to ShinjiYellow. “But now that the cloak has been vanquished, nothing will save your evil from our justice!”
“Kekekekeke!” Far from fear, it was triumph that filled the evil laugh. “You are the fools, ShinjiRangers! While you fought my penultimate weapon, I prepared my ultimate weapon! Behold, the WORMIFIER!”
A sickly pale light filled the eyes of the Makiri 2000 as it gathered its wormenergy to unleash the dreaded power.
“No, not the wormifier!” With a gasp of horror, ShinjiPink stepped back. “With that much wormenergy, he’ll turn the entire town into worm food!”
“That’s right, kekekeke! And there’s nothing you can do to stop me!”
“No!” With a cry of anguish, ShinjiRed struck the ground with his fist. “Is there nothing we can do?! Will Fuyuki truly fall to Doktor Zolgen?”
“Have no fear, ShinjiRangers!”
The deep voice echoed through the air, and in a flash of light appeared a goateed man so exceptional that he made glasses and a lab coat appear to be the epitome of class. He was none other than-
“Doctor Gems!”
“That’s right, Rangers! It is I, Doctor Gems, your ever stalwart ally against evil!” With a twirl of his cane, he indicated the Makiri 2000. “As for you, Zolgen, your evil is as tasteless as always. You should try to have some class. Wormenergy? Really?”
“I don’t have to put up with this!” With a roar of anger, the Makiri 2000’s eyes flashed brighter still. “It doesn’t matter that you’re here, Gems! All it means is that I’ll wormify you as well!”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” His glasses glinting in the daylight, Doctor Gems smiled brightly. “I knew that you would attempt to wormify Fuyuki, and I prepared accordingly! Behold, the shield of justice!”
The earth shook once, twice and thrice, and revealed before all stood the figure of a girl, magnified such that it stood even above the Makiri 2000.
“Impossible!” The cry came from heroes and villain alike, but it was ShinjiRed who continued. “Dr. Gems, is that really…”
“Indeed, Ranger! That is none other than the former Evil Shadow!” With a theatrical wave, the scientist of justice indicated the girl. “But no longer is it submitted to evil! Through my experiments, I have unmade the bounds of Zolgen, and it now stands before us as the G Sakura! Now, G Sakura; show Zolgen your power and rid our town of his evil!”
“Hum…” The booming sound spread through the town, almost knocking Gems off of his perfectly balanced pause. “Dad… could you just call me by my name? This is kind of embarrassing. And that thing looks scary.”
A nervous step back from G Sakura crushed a small house, and the ShinjiRangers could only stare in renewed fear as Zolgen’s metallic laugh echoed once more.
“Kekekeke! You may have saved the girl, Gems, but she is as spineless as ever! And without the glory of WORMS, there is nothing to make up for that lack!”
The wormenergy had almost reached critical mass, and the G Sakura showed no sign of acting!
“Doctor Gems!” ShinjiGreen rudely pointed at the scientist. “You came here and looked cool but you’re not helping at all! Calm her or something!”
“Erm, well.” With a caugh, Doctor Gems took a step back and retreated behind G Sakura’s foot. “I wouldn’t know anything about young girls! Besides, I wouldn’t want to outshine the heroes!”
“Damn, he’s completely useless.” Muttering under his breath, ShinjiRed turned to his fellow Rangers. “Alright, how can we make G Sakura gain confidence?”
“If protecting this hair doesn’t motivate her, nothing will.”
“Unless she’s into girls, I’ve got nothing.”
“I’m tired of listening to you! You always act like you’re the leader!”
“Dude, I’m not charming a giant robot.”
One by one surrendering to the hopelessness of evil, the four ShinjiRangers vanished, leaving behind only Matou Shinji himself.
“Dammit! I HATE ME!”
“KEKEKEKEKE! You are alone now, Shinji! And what is a Ranger without his team? No better than an Emiya without his swords!”
The triumphant voice of Doktor Zolgen sought to once and for all extinguish all hope, but the great and wise hero did not stop his pondering.
“Damn, how am I supposed to force a giant robot to fight? Her foot is bigger than me. Wait…Emiya! That’s it! I’m a genius! SAKURA!”
“W-what?” Timidly turning toward the hero, and accidentally causing untold collateral damage, the girl looked down.
“I was supposed to give you Shirou’s phone number tomorrow, but there’s no way I can do that if Zolgen turns us all to worms!”
“You were?” As though a great fire of justice had been lit in her chest, G Sakura stood up to her full height against the light of the Makiri 2000. “Don’t you dare, do anything TO SENPAI!”
A whirlwind of energy unlike any other formed in front of her chest, blasting away the evil wormenergy that had begun to fire, and melting away the exterior of the Makiri 2000.
“IMPOSSIBLE!” As his fortress collapsed around him, Zolgen screamed in rage and disbelief. “Is that the legendary-!”
The detonation annihilated the wrinkly metallic face completely, and G Sakura begun to dance, a wide smile on her face in anticipation of the long desired phone number.
Gracefully taking his spot where he was safe from the stomping feet, Doctor Gems smiled brightly.
“You recognized it too late, Zolgen. The legendary GS Drive! And it will forever belong to we, the Toh-“ With an uncharacteristic pause, he stopped his own sentence. “The tourniquet of justice! For I am a doctor and I will stop the spread of evil!”
As the two celebrated their victory, it was not very far away that a wrinkled old man stumbled on the ground, searching for his cane in the blinding daylight.
“I’m getting too old for this.” Complaining, Matou Zouken crawled on the ground like a worm. “I need to retire soon.”
“Are you looking for this, old man?”
Standing not far away, Shinji held the coveted cane out.
“Ah, Shinji! Yes, I was just taking a walk out and suddenly all those earthquakes made me stumble.”
Indeed, even now the earth rumbled from G Sakura’s steps, but Shinji was no fool.
“I know you’re Zolgen. I’ve known all along.”
“What?! Impossible!” Realizing too late his mistake, the old man sighed. “How did you find out my secret?”
“It was a hard road, and I had to seek the advice of countless experts. But my suspicions began at the fact that you used your real name.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, that was kind of embarrassing. Good thing nobody in town has a clue.”
“I know this looks bad, what with the wormenergy and all.” Laughing awkwardly, Zouken approached his grandson with a friendly smile. “But it was all for you, Shinji! So you could be a hero! And now look at you; there’s nothing in town that you can’t ask for!”
“And I’m grateful for that.” With a cheerful smile, Shinji raised the cane high. “But I’m a hero, and heroes can’t be bribed.”
“Now, let’s think about this Shinji…”
“Evil has a price, old man. And you’re long overdue to pay it.”
Rhythmically slamming the cane against the inside of his hand, the young hero advanced upon the terrible villain.
“I’m not going to lie; I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”
And so with the terrified cries of an elderly citizen, the city of Fuyuki returned to its peace, and the damage from G Sakura’s victory dance only took a year to repair.
Remember children, the wise words of our noble hero as he stood triumphant over the terrible Doktor Zolgen on that fateful day.
“Evil never prospers.”
WAKAME SENTAI, SHINJIRANGERS!
END
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Originally Posted by mAc Chaos
