Twelve Days of Wonderful Life

[Verg Avesta]

Twelve Days of Wonderful Life
Or
It’s a Wonderful Life, Avenger!

Chapter 1

A repeating beat. A rhythm underwater, echoing like the movement of one’s heart. Unrelenting and demanding, it pulsated without stopping, without resting. The murky depths of the water in Fuyuki harbor echoed with this noise, followed by a groan that would have made demigods shudder. It was the sound of something absolutely gigantic being dragged across the ocean floor, scaring away any living being in the vicinity.

Any living being… other than humans.

The rattling of heavy chains matched the rhythmic beat almost perfectly. These bindings that had once held back the Bull of Heaven were now put to another use. Their silvery tendrils were wrapped around the massive branches of the tree jutting out of the water. This tree, this colossus of pines and bark, hovered half-lazily above the harbor, casting a shadow so big that no one would have found it natural. Instead, it was like some sort of spine of an ancient monster, rising from the depths as the chains pulled it, again and again. Water dripped like falling rapids from its surface, and whatever parts of the ocean floor it had dug up soon followed in suite.

This monstrous tree was a branch of Yggdrasil, the world tree, stolen by the brazen villain that led this whole operation; someone who watched over the chains that slowly dragged the huge pine tree to the shore. The location where this piece of world tree was being transported was the largest dry dock in Fuyuki. It would be barely able to hold the thing, and yet the chains relentlessly tugged and tugged, as if they had been driven by the devil himself.

And perhaps they were. At least to the people pulling these chains, the figure above the docks was close to old horned one.

Indeed, the chains that bound gods were not operating on their own. There, knee deep in the waters of the dry dock, pulling in a desperate rhythm, were a collection of characters; all of them male, all of them from Kinoko Nasu’s works. There was probably not a single character who had been spared from this wet, miserable wait. After all, it was inhuman to except such a measly group to be able to drag such a huge tree onto the shore. And yet, despite it all, they were slowly but surely succeeding. That was the source of the pulsating beat, like that of a heart: the humming of the people down below, and their synchronized pulling, accompanied by the rattling of the chains.

It was like the rhythm of a song.

Like drums of war that called someone to sing alongside them.

That was why Avenger, first and foremost on chain number 3, completely soaked by the winter ocean and bruised by the large chain smashing into him again and again… that was why Avenger finally broke into a song: a song that carried over the hum of men.

“Look down! Look down! Don’t look her in the eye!”

And to his surprise, the gathered male slaves answered, like a choir of French revolution. All of them kept their stares down, as ordered, but Avenger himself cast a glance above. There, the figure dressed in black habit stared back at them, cruel smile on her lips.

“Look down! Look down! You’re until you die!”

Like it had been an universal agreement between these “prisoners”, now it was the time of Inui Arihiko to step forward, as he bellowed out the next verses.

“Just sweat and men! Nothing in here is moe!”

And like a clockwork, the cavalcade of men answered, no mercy in their voices. All of them had accepted their fate a long time ago, and what was left was mocking bitterness.

“Look down! Look down! There’s December to go!”

Saber of Koha-Ace, Sakamoto Ryoma, was the next to sing as he grappled with his part of the chain, pulling it back with harshness that matched his dead, hopeless eyes.

“I’m not canon! Kinoko hear my prayer!”

The answer from the men around him was as the same as always. The morbid tone, a choir of dead men, would offer no comfort.

“Look down! Look down! Kinoko doesn’t care!”

However, the truest surprise was Tohno SHIKI. With a fire flashing in his eyes, he buried his feet against the cold stone floor and pulled with all his might, while yelling so loud the dry docks echoed.

“I know she’ll wait! I trust my own sister!”

But, just as quickly, the glimmering words were crushed under the truth from the other men.

“Look down! Look down! Your brother’s banging her!”

And with those words, the form of Tohno SHIKI collapsed on the floor. It was soon replaced as Lancer stepped over the corpse, kicking it away while grasping the chains once again. With furious look and gnarl on his lips, he pulled in the rhythm, letting out one last rebellious bellow.

“When I get free! You won’t see me! ‘Ere for dust!”

And the men answered with yells of their own.

So did the great work continue, and so did these prisoners of December continue to pull the branch of Yggdrasil. It was not not be until late that night that they were be finished. Stars had climbed over the horizon, pulling their black blanket over the sky with them. Guided only by the moonlight and the distant sounds of the city, the completely spent men dragged their feet towards the exit. The chains that they had used to drag the largest Christmas three in existence to the shore now bound their feet. Clinking sounds of imprisonment were the only echo left of the song that had filled the wet stone hell.

Avenger, too, was part of that long line of prisoners heading back towards the barracks. However, inside him, a strange sort of excitement had begun to brew. It was a tiny speck of hope, one that had been hidden for quite a while. But now, on this thirteenth day of December, he had finally allowed it to bloom. After all, this was the day that he would finally be allowed to—

“Now bring me Servant Avenger!”

A flutter of black cloth, and a flash of golden eyes. Avenger would have remember that sight anywhere. After all, it was the cruel mistress that had been watching over them like a stone gargoyle before. The sadistic nun, now wearing an intimidating frown, had arrived to the dry docks, and was looking around. This was the final hurdle, that Avenger knew. But he was determined to see it through. After all, the rest of his Christmas depended on this.

With determination, he took a step forward, towards Caren Ortensia.

“Your time is up and your vacation you enter!” Caren sang as she saw Avenger approach. “You know what that means!”

“Yes, it means I’m free,” Avenger answered, the speck of light shining brighter inside him.

However, it was mercilessly extinquished.

“No! It means you get your one day of leave!” Caren shot back, frowning dangerously. “You are a cheat!”

This time, it was Avenger’s time to get angry.

“I got a new girlfriend!” he answered, throwing his hands up in air in frustration.

“You dumped me!” Caren hissed, pointing at the tattooed Servant.

“I simply just moved on,” Avenger answered, sigh clear in his reverberating voice. “Your S&M was fun no more. I was dying—“

“You will die again!” Caren interrupted him. “Unless, you learn the meaning of Christmas!”

“I’ve learned the meaning of these eleven months… slave for Christmas!” Avenger bellowed back, bitterness clear from his eyes.

“One month, you sexual offender!” Caren answered, her eyes widening in anger. “The rest because of your temper! … Servant Avenger.”

“My name is Angra Mainyu!” Avenger proudly proclaimed, answering fire with fire. However, Caren was already pushing back.

“And I’m Caren! Do not forget my name! Do not forget me… Servant Avenger.”

This, on the other hand, was followed by an odd silence on Avenger’s part. He looked around, as if trying to ascertain something, before raising his eyebrow at the sadistic nun.

“… Yeah, I know that, alright? It’s not like we haven’t met before,” he stated dryly. “I only said it because you were using my Class as some sorta weird derogatory term, and—“

“Get out of here!” Caren ordered, sending Avenger scampering out like a scalded dog.

The nun herself was left behind, staring daggers at the distancing, tattooed back of the Servant who had fooled around without her consent.

Outside the harbor, out of the wet and miserable conditions full of amber and pine needles, the scenery of Fuyuki was almost picturesque. Unlike on many of the previous years, the snowfall had been heavy, and the white-topped buildings dotted the landscape as Avenger could bother to look. The said distance was not much, though: said Servant was too interesting in staring at his own bare feet that he dragged through the snowy streets as flakes of white fell slowly upon him.

“Christmas, my ass,” Avenger muttered, kicking away a rather large piece of snow. “You’re just angry because I wouldn’t be the target of your pet-play anymore.”

There weren’t many people around as Avenger headed towards the centrum. Few cars passed him by, most of them almost oozing the disgusting holiday spirit. Avenger saw a few families singing happily to the tune of the radio, a pair of lovers cruising around on their new car (Did the license plate say “K-N3TH P41D”?) and even an elderly couple who were free to slow down to a turtle crawl on their huge SUV since nobody was around to honk at them.

It truly was scenery that sickened Avenger. In fact, the whole idea of Christmas was enough to put him in a bad mood. Grumbling to himself, he burrowed his face deeper into the dark red scarf around his neck, shooting yet another angry glare at the ground.

“Every damn year it’s the same thing… every goddamn year…” Avenger growled.

It wasn’t just the joyful atmosphere that had gotten the tattooed youth in a foul mood. Neither was it solely the slave-work he had been put to by the white-haired nun. No, worst of all was the fact that this year, the girl he had planned to spend his Christmas with was stuck at Reien Girl’s Academy for almost all of December. He had promised Azaka that he would get the Christmas Day off, but from the looks of it, this was the only day graced to him by the slave-driver of Kotomine Church. In other words, any hopes for a date during the big day had been crushed mercilessly.

Therefore, it wasn’t a surprise that Avenger was heading straight to the one place of solace he had left on this night: Ahnenerbe.

“Yo, Green Ranger,” Avenger called out as he entered the café, bell chiming somewhere far in the back. “I came to have a drink.”

“Who’s a Green Ranger, Lord Zed!?” Katsuragi Chikagi shouted angrily from behind the counter. “Want me to drive a Zord up your ass!?”

“Calm down, I’m just joking,” Avenger said and sighed heavily, as he plopped down onto a seat. “I’ve already got one tsundere in my life, I don’t need anot—“

That was as far as he got. With a swift move, Chikagi had caught Avenger by the neck and feet, and struck him straight down at her extended knee, almost like she was trying to break the Servant in half. The resulting scream of Avenger was enough to nearly wake up the whole neighborhood… which was most likely the only reason the green-haired girl stopped.

And after the things had calmed down, and life in the quiet mystical café had returned to something relatively normal…

“So, what? You’re here for a drink?” Chikagi asked, raising her eyebrow dryly. “You do realize we stopped serving drinks here after you stopped showing up at work one day. You were part-timer for, what, two whole weeks? That was a new low, even for you.”

“I couldn’t help it,” Avenger said and chuckled like a hyena. “I just didn’t feel like it after the first few times, and then it was too late to turn up again. You know how it goes.”

“No, I don’t,” Chikagi bluntly answered, before slamming a can of Asahi Golden in front of Avenger. “There. That’s the only type we have right now. So you better be grateful.”

“I am, I am,” Avenger said and quickly opened the can. “It’s the best thing I’ve gotten tonight.”

This caught Chikagi’s attention. Though she had been intent on wiping the glasses up until then, her hand movements became more automatic, and her attention focused onto the tattooed Servant. A small hint of frown appeared on the green-haired girl’s face.

“Huh? Weren’t you supposed to start your vacation today? What happened to that?”

“Oh, you know how it goes when you’ve got a crazy nun as your ex,” Avenger bitterly said, taking a sip of from his can of beer. “Instead of rest of December, it’s songs from Les Miserables and a single day of leave. That damn Christmas tree isn’t going to raise itself, I suppose.”

A short silence fell into the otherwise empty café. Chikagi stared at the counter with a strange look on her face, before suddenly kneeling and disappearing behind the counter. When he emerged, he had a bottle of brandy in her hands, along with a single glass.

“You know what? It’s on the house today,” the girl spoke and pushed the items in front of Avenger. “Get as drunk as you like.”

Avenger could only stare at the bottle and glass in front of him. When he finally emerged from his stupor, he flashed a rare smile at the girl, and begun himself a shot of something far stronger than a simple beer.

“Thanks, Chikagi,” he said, before cackling maliciously. “That’s why I love you.”

“Don’t push it, Lord Zed,” Chikagi shot back, but she, too, had a brief smile on her lips.

Still, the brandy did as it had been ordered to. About two hours later, the Servant sitting on a stool next to the counter was a whole different person. Drunk off his ass, Avenger kept searching for last drops of alcohol from within the clearly empty bottle. While he had been drinking, the café had been slowly filling up, creating a pleasant buzz of chatting in the atmosphere. Chikagi herself was too busy to watch over the Servant, having to switch between taking orders and delivering them.

Even Avenger, as drunk as he was, had found someone to chat with. While he was peering into the brandy bottle, he kept talking, giving no mind to the possibility if his partner wanted to have a word in edgewise.

“—And that’s another thing!” Avenger prattled on. “A gigantic Christmas tree? Screw her! All this just because we happened to start that stupid Christmas tradition around here five years ago! And now she’s enslaving all the male characters just to make another one, to top off the party of that idiotic empress? Give me a break.”

Finally realizing the bottle of brandy was empty, Avenger swiftly leaned over the counter and grabbed a few more cans of Asahi, before leaning back and cracking one open. The foam nearly burst over the top, but as drunkards often do, Avenger was able to gulp it all down to a better place.

“Then this whole deal with me and Azaka. After we got busted last year by that damn Bazett, we haven’t been able to hear the end of it. She had to stay at the Reien to let the heat die down a bit,” Avenger continued, his words slurry and unfocused. “Of course, now that I only have this day off, we can’t even meet up for Christmas! So I managed to screw over her holiday plans, too!”

“So, you think this is all your fault, then?” The person sitting next to him asked. Avenger burped loudly, as if that had been the answer.

“Damn right! After I was summoned, it’s been nothing but misery after misery. Though then again, that’s kinda the point! All the Evil, and all that,” Avenger answered. “And not even the type I’m used to. Like, you know, killing, murdering, all that is fine. I’m dandy as can be when that shit goes down. But this? Emotional problems? Relationship troubles? I feel like I’m going insane, even though I already am. While others are enjoying their Hello Kitty Christmas, here I am, bitchin’ about stuff like this to a random stranger. You have to admit, there’s something wrong with that whole picture.”

Avenger slumped over the counter, lazily pouring the beer to his mouth. Of course, in that position, most of it missed the target, and kept falling on the wooden surface.

“Well, that is simply normal life, isn’t it?” the person asked, and chuckled.

“Not for me! I spent 99% of my life stuck on a mountaintop and being the scapegoat for everything, and now I’m here, screwing up stuff all on my own. Without carnage no less! It just ain’t right, no sir,” Avenger continued. “At this rate, it’d be better if I hadn’t been summoned at all during the Third War.”

“What?” the person next to him asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise. “What’d you say?”

Avenger, on the cusp of falling asleep, spat out the last remains of his beer as he threw out one more curse to the musky air of the cafe.

“I said I wish I’d never been summoned!” he yelled.

There was a long silence, during which Avenger started his descend into the Slumberland. However, at the edge of his dreams, he heard the strange speak one more time, in a words that sent a shiver down his drunken spine.

“All right, Avenger, you’ve got your wish. you’ve never been summoned.”

And to those words, the tattooed youth fell into a deep, alcohol-induced sleep.

………

……

…

“Alright, customer, time to wake up.”

“… ugh?”

“I said it’s time to wake up!”

Jolting up from his sleep by the sharp voice and the distant sense of morning light, Avenger lifted his head from the counter. Under him was a puddle of beer, in which he had been resting his chin. Groggily the Servant slapped himself on the wet cheek, dragging his hand across it and trying to get the smear out. Too bad it was as effective as a wet piece of tissue in a rain.

“Urgh, c’mon, Chikagi…” Avenger murmured, hangover pounding his head. “Gimme a few minutes to collect myself.”

“… How do you know my name?”

Hearing those odd words, Avenger finally opened his eyes and looked up. In front of him was a familiar looking girl, with bright green hair and eyes. Chikagi was standing with her hands on her hips, looking like a little storm cloud. However, there was also clear confusion, and slight worry, in her eyes. Almost as if she had been creeped out by something.

“Whaddya mean?” Avenger asked, frowning back at the girl. “Of course I know your name.”

“That’s what I want to know. How do you know it?” Chikagi asked, her face growing more troubled. “I don’t use my first name while working.”

“I know that,” Avenger said, starting to get annoyed with this strange game of ten questions. “I mean, I worked in here for a while. You spent the first week trying to get me to stop calling you “Chika-chan,” you damn Green Ranger.”

Now the confusion on Chikagi’s face had switched to pure annoyance, and slight shock. Slamming her hands on the counter, the girl glared daggers at him.

“I would remember if someone as ugly as you had worked here!” she firmly stated. “Now get your head cleared, you drunkard, before I smack you. It’s not funny when you spout creepy stuff like that!”

This odd reaction finally sent some warning bells ringing in Avenger’s head. Shaking his head to clear out the fog, he groggily peered around the café. It took him a few seconds, but finally he got his gaze to focus… and when he did, his eyes widened to the size of plates.

After all, instead of the beautiful and subdued café he had gotten used to, the place he was in right now looked like any run-down bar you could find down south in USA.

“Waaaaait…” Avenger said, raising his finger in a moment of tension. “This… this is Ahnenerbe, right?”

“What are you talking about?” Chikagi asked, her brows now looking like slopes of Matterhorn. “This is Zeitgeist, the cheapest place for booze in all of Fuyuki City.”

It was at that moment that the words he had heard before falling asleep came back floating to Avenger’s mind. And as he recalled them, sweat of panic rained as bullets down his forehead.

“All right, Avenger, you’ve got your wish. you’ve never been summoned.”

Another glance confirmed what the Servant already thinking. There was no sign of any of the NEKO-spirits, the doorknob to their village was gone, and even V/V, who was always playing in the corner, was glaringly missing. The only thing in out of the ordinary in the bar was how in-ruins it seemed to be.

That, and as Avenger finally realized, the fact that Chikagi had her hair freely flowing down her back, instead of keeping it in the typical twin-tails.

“Oh… crap.”

The words that came out of Avenger’s mouth were quite on the spot.

---

11 Days to go.

[Leftovers]

We shall always treasure Avenger's yearly sufferings for our amusement in this greatest of BL traditions o7

[keeper13]

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the YEEEEEAAAARR~!!!!!
Hooray for ANOTHER CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

Rather than the Chikagi we know near the end, I'm guessing that's the other Chikagi from that Starlit Marmalade Drama CD.
Now that Avenger got his wish, I had a feeling he may be in the world where Shirou from Apocrypha takes his place instead. Unless, the Beast from Prototype is involved, too.
Anyway, YAY!

[Renko]

Being Avenger is suffering....every Christmas.

[Verg Avesta]

Chapter 2

“Crap, crap, crap, crap, craaaaaaaaap!”

Such was the yell of Avenger as he barreled down the streets of night-time Fuyuki.

Beating at hasty retreat from Zeitgeist, the tattooed youth had started sprinting down the street, not exactly sure where he was headed to. The thing was, he had to go somewhere. Anywhere was better than in that bizarro-bar with a bizarro-Chikagi. And right now, the “anywhere” was right here, outside, on the cold and wet streets where snow seemed to be falling from the skies non-stop.

“Screw this! What I said was a hyperbole!” Avenger screamed towards the skies as he continued to run. “I didn’t mean it as a wish to whisk me away into some charming and heart-warming Christmas story where I’m being shown just how boring life would be if I was—Heguh!”

The last sound was caused by Avenger’s bare toes catching a crack in the sidewalk, sending him face first into a pile of snow. The previously grumble-filled street was now silent again, with the only sign of life being the lights in the windows of nearby houses, and the jumble of black hair and egregious tattoos that was quickly being buried under the falling whiteness.

“Typical,” Avenger tried to said. However, with a mouth full of snow, the only thing that came out was: “Hmphl.”

“Needing a little help there?”

Raising his head from the pile of snow, Avenger found himself staring at a figure, illuminated by the city lights. Bathed in the warm glow, surrounded by falling crystalline flakes, was a person the tattooed youth certainly had not expected to see. She was wearing a kimono and a hakama, both in subdued red colors, and the hair of this new arrival was like a patch of pink roses. Eyes of same color stared at Avenger with slight amusement in them.

For the second time that day, Avenger found himself nigh speechless. Still, he was able to let out a grunt of surprise.

“…. Sakura Saber? The hell…?” he mumbled, spitting out snow as he did.

“Yeah. It’s me,” Sakura Saber answered, flashing a bright smile.

What followed was a confused silence, during which Avenger slowly got out of the pile of snow. He dusted himself off, all the while keeping a suspicious eye on the female Servant.

“… You know, that really doesn’t explain a frickin’ thing. I mean, I do recognize you. You’re that joke character from Koha-A—“

The rest of his words were swallowed as Avenger once again bit the snow, this time sent there by a swift axe-kick form Sakura Saber’s boot.

“Now, now. Let’s not start throwing insults, Mr. Comic Relief,” Sakura Saber said sweetly, but with a hint of danger in her tone. “We’re both legitimate characters, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, I guess so…” Avenger grumbled as he once more hoisted himself up. “… Figures you’d have an inferiority complex. It’s in your name, after all…”

“What was that?” Sakura Saber asked, tilting her head. Avenger was quick to shake his head dismissively.

“Nothing, nothing! Forget ‘bout it,” he hastily stated. Then, after fixing his scarf back on, he shot a glare at the female Servant. “So? What are you doing here? I figured I might see you in the annual Christmas party, but that don’t explain what you’re doing here in the bizarro world.”

“Here? Oh! That’s right. I forgot to explain!” Sakura Saber said, clapping her hands together. “I came to save you.”

“Huuuuh!?”

The disbelief in Avenger’s voice was palpable enough to crush an anvil.

“What did you say? Save me? What, you’re here to take me away from this creepy place where bartenders go Extreme Makeover on their work places in a single night?” Avenger asked, raising his eyebrow mockingly. However, it didn’t seem like Sakura Saber put much note to it.

“Yeah. That’s what I was sent here for. Think of me as a guardian angel of some sort,” she explained. “I was sent here to guide you in this new world, and show you some things.”

“Sent? By whom? The one responsible for this ridiculous mess?” Avenger asked. To his surprise, Sakura Saber simply shrugged.

“Couldn’t tell you! It was a bit like during a Holy Grail War,” she said, sounding awfully happy about it. “One moment I was back home, and then, BOMF! Here I am, knowing what my mission is, but lacking all details on what’s really going on.”

“Aw, crap. Figures. It wouldn’t be a full rip-off of that movie if there wasn’t a frickin’ guardian angel,” Avenger grumbled, rubbing his temples. “But why you? Of all the possible people, why did they choose—“

Suddenly, Avenger went silent, simply staring at Sakura Saber’s face. Then, realization dawning upon his face, he snapped his finger and slowly slammed his fist to his open palm.

“Aah, right, right. That’s why.”

“Huh? You know why I was chosen?” Sakura Saber asked, tilting her head. “Even I don’t have a clue.”

“You know, it’s that thing. That… what was it again?” Avenger thought for a moment, before finally finding the right words. “The IQ of a rabbit and faith of a child. Or was it a face? Neither one doesn’t sound wro— Heguh!”

Once again, the boot of Sakura Saber found its target in Avenger’s head, and the latter was sent straight into the already quite violated pile of snow.

“You were saying?” Sakura Saber asked, the threatening sweetness creeping to her voice once again.

“Nhmthng,” Avenger answered, his voice muffled by the snow.

****

“So you went ahead and wished you hadn’t been summoned?”

As the duo of two Servants trudged down the night-time December street, Avenger had graced his companion with an abridged version of what had happened to him. By the time he had gotten to the part where had made his drunken wish, Sakura Saber had finally let out a cry of objection, startling the tattooed youth.

“Yeah, I did. So what?” Avenger asked, looking uncomfortable. “Well, I mean, ‘So what besides the obvious fact that the wish came true’. You know what I mean.”

“But your summoning was an integral part of everyone’s lives! If you haven’t been summoned in the Third war, whole lives have changed!”

“Yeah, for the worst! I mean, I am All the Evils of the World, if only in name,” Avenger grumbled a response. However, Sakura Saber was quick to tut him silent.

“Nonsense. You might not realize it, but your summoning has influenced a lot of people, and without you, their lives are much more miserable!” she proudly proclaimed, patting Avenger on the shoulder. “You are needed in so many ways you can’t even think!”

“Yeah? Like what?” Avenger asked, swatting away the girl’s hand.

“Well… for example… umm…”

Sakura Saber scrunched her nose, looking a bit troubled.

“You’re just reciting that guardian angel crap, aren’t you?” Avenger asked, snorting at the sight.

“Well, yes, but that’s beside the point! Everyone’s lives make a difference, no matter how insignificant or troublesome we view them!” she stated, now looking a bit angry. “Let’s look for an example. Umm… Oh! Where are we headed right now?”

“Now?” Avenger asked, and after getting a nod from the girl, pointed close-by. “To that Tohsaka girl. If anyone knows what to do with this crazy new world, she will. I mean, she’s clumsy as hell, but she should be able to get the job done.”

“Great! Then let’s go!”

And without giving the tattooed youth get a single word in edgewise, the pink-haired Servant dragged him up the street, all the way to the front yard of a familiar-looking western mansion. Like rest of Fuyuki, the house had been almost swallowed up by the heavy snowfall, but at least the pathway to the front door was neatly shoveled clean.

Still, that offered no help as Sakura Saber dragged Avenger to a nearby window, instead of letting him walk through the door.

“Hey! What’s the big idea!?” Avenger asked, finally able to free himself from the female Servant’s grasp.

“What? Well, I said I was going to show you an example, didn’t I?” Sakura Saber asked, smiling brightly. “And here’s a perfect chance to show how miserable people’s lives would turn out without you!”

It took Avenger few seconds to process this statement, and when he did, he burst into a mocking laughter.

“Wait, you’re serious!? You’re saying, gahaha, that the Tohsaka girl would have a miserable life if I wasn’t summoned!?” Avenger let out another howl of mockery. “That’s rich! Really rich! I would have except something this stupid from the Red Saber, but you? Oh, you’re just like your originals!”

“Just shut up and look!” Sakura Saber hissed, and forcibly turned Avenger’s eyes to the window, his neck letting out a quite violent crack as he did. “Can’t you see?”

Though in pain, Avenger still continued to laugh. However, that laughter quickly died on his lips as he gazed through the window into the Tohsaka manor. Instead of the well-furnished western aristocratic dream it had been, what he saw now were only empty, dark rooms. It was a house where clearly nobody was really living. In fact, the only piece of furniture was a single sofa in the living room, where he could see a strange shape lying on.

“Wait… what!?” Avenger exclaimed in surprise. “You… you can’t be serious! You’re saying that because I wasn’t summoned, the Tohsaka girl now lives in a dumpster like this? How? Why!?”

“It just means that you’re more meaningful than you think,” Sakura Saber retorted extremely smugly. “What did I tell you?”

As Avenger peered deeper into the house, it started to dawn to him that this house hadn’t been in livable condition for a long time. Even outside he could feel that the heating wasn’t on, and that inside must’ve been cold as a coffin. Then there was the strange pile of rags on the sofa, which kept moving slightly every now and then. Almost as if somebody had been sleeping inside.

“Wait… don’t tell me that that’s the Tohsaka girl…?” Avenger said, disbelief now filling his voice. “She’s actually living in this shit-hole…?”

And then, as if to answer his question, the shape suddenly rose from the sofa, woken up by the sudden ringing of a cellphone.

Before the curious eyes of the two Servants, someone looking unmistakably like Tohsaka Rin, twin-tails and all, straightened her back, scratched her chin, and took out a large, outdated cellphone from within the blankets she had been hiding under. The girl before them seemed almost sleep-deprived, with heavy bags under her eyes, and a grumpy look on her face.

“See? She’s not looking that great, is she?” Sakura Saber asked, smiling at the sight. “All because you weren’t summoned.”

“Yeesh… I gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting this. I mean, I barely knew the Tohsaka girl,” Avenger spoke. “Could my absence really affect her that much?”

“It certainly did. Now, instead of living in her own mansion, or in a household filled with friendly smiles, she’s stuck in a lifeless house like this,” Sakura Saber spoke, starting to sound like some sort of creepy narrator. “Perhaps it was the loss of both her father and her mentor, perhaps it was the knowledge that the next Holy Grail War wouldn’t come during her lifetime, or perhaps—“

“Huh!? What do you mean ‘couldn’t come’!? I’ve been waiting in this measly little summer-home for hours now! I’ve got a flight to catch! Huh? Yes, of course I’m using my own jet, but I still have to be in London by morning!”

“— Or perhaps she doesn’t actually live here.”

As the two Servants watched, flabbergasted at the sight, Tohsaka Rin walked over to the nearby wall and hit the light-switch. This revealed her figure in full detail, further shocking the duo. Instead of the attire they had used to seeing her in, she was now clearly wearing brand model clothing, though keeping her red-and-black color scheme. The jacket on her looked especially expensive.

“I couldn’t care less about what price they offered! If they’re not gonna be here, then that chance is over. I’ll find a new buyer! Whatever it was that they offered, it won’t even amount to my week’s salary! So tell them that the deal won’t happen, and they can only blame themselves!”

With an angry flourish of hand, Tohsaka Rin took her cellphone and threw it straight into the wall, where it shattered into tiny pieces. Then, heaving a sigh, she tried composing herself, putting her hands on her chest.

“Come on, Rin, calm down. You don’t want Shirou-kun to see you like this. Be calm. Be calm…” she mumbled to herself.

Meanwhile, Avenger turned to stare at Sakura Saber with eyes like those of a dead fish.

“Explanation, please,” he said. Sakura Saber, looking confused herself, concentrated for a moment, her eyes directly locked onto Rin.

And then, after a few seconds had passed, she finally found the information she was looking for.

“Oh. Umm. From what I can tell… Tohsaka Rin is the current head of Tohsaka Zaibatsu, which is one of the largest business conglomerates in modern Japan. After… after her father and mentor died in the Grail War, and knowing that those wars had ended since the Einzberns had won, she was free to focus her attention elsewhere… namely, making insane amounts of money. Which she did,” Sakura Saber explained, sounding like a monotone computer voice reciting her lines. “She is currently the third richest person in the country, and a well-known and respected member of the Clock Tower. People call her the future of Japan’s magi.”

A deep, deep silence fell to the yard, during which Avenger could only stare at Sakura Saber. As the quietness dragged on, the female Servant approached her partner a bit unsurely, not knowing what was going on in his head. After all, his face looked like it had just been run over by a truck: completely flat and with no life in it.

Eventually, she gathered enough courage to poke him in the chest. And when she did…

“ISN’T SHE DOING HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN SHE WAS BACK IN THE ORIGINAL WORLD!?”

Avenger’s scream echoed on the streets, also managing to surprise the daylights out of Tohsaka Rin.

………

……

…

“So, um… feeling better?”

“Like hell I am!”

Though the bomb of cursing and swearing had gone off in the yard of the former Tohsaka household, Sakura Saber had eventually managed to calm Avenger down. Now the two of them were sitting on a sidewalk, Avenger holding his head in his hands while Sakura Saber was trying to find some way to cheer him up. Considering what they had just witnessed, that was proving to be more than a bit difficult.

“I mean, I just got a confirmation to a question I didn’t even really ask!” Avenger shouted, slapping away the comforting hand of Sakura Saber. “So yeah, it really looks like people are doing much better if I hadn’t been summoned!”

“Oh, come on. It was just one example,” Sakura Saber said. “I bet that if we look around, we can find out just how miserable everyone else is. Heck, I bet all that money has made Tohsaka Rin really lonely, too!”

“What are you talking about? She was just off to meet that Shirou kid!” Avenger growled, glaring daggers at the female Servant. “Didn’t sound that lonely to me!”

Out of words, Sakura Saber stood up and folded her arms across her chest. Her scrunched nose indicated she was back to thinking, determined to find a way to get Avenger out of his pit of self-pity. Surprisingly quickly her face dawned like the rising sun, and with a small pirouette, she turned to face the tattooed youth.

“… What?” Avenger blurted out, near-permanent scowl on his face.

“I know what’ll cheer you up!” Sakura Saber stated, showing him thumbs up. Avenger, clearly wary of this sudden change, raised his eyebrow.

“Yeah…?”

“A song number!” Sakura Saber stated.

“A what!?”

But it was too late. While Avenger was still trying to grasp what she was talking about, Sakura Saber had taken a few steps back, and was now pointing flamboyantly at the tattooed Servant. Before he managed to even voice his protests, her voice bellowed out in the starting notes of a song.

“What have you done, Avenger, what have you done?”

Approaching Avenger slowly, Sakura Saber’s growing presence forced the male Servant up on his legs. While she continued her approach, he slowly started retreating, clearly not enjoying where this conversation was now heading.

“Become a self-hating emo, a Kariya on the run! And have you fallen so far, is the hour so late, that nothing remains but the cry of self-hate?”

Catching Avenger by his scarf, Sakura Saber pulled him closer, now singing straight to his face.

“Blaming yourself because you feel like you must, here where you stand at the eve of Christmas!”

Finally, Avenger was starting to feel a bit angry. So, fueled by his desire to defend himself, he grasped Sakura Saber by shoulders and pushed her back, breaking into a song of his own.

“Now there’s another way to go! Right what happened so long ago! Summoned to a Class with strength of paper, I went for four days and got killed by Saber! Like when they chained me and left me for dead! Back when I was subject of dread!”

But the burning anger did not last long, and with that outburst, Avenger slumped back on the snowy ground. There, he hung his head low and continued singing, this time with much more somber tone.

“And then I allowed Caren… to touch my junk and whip me good. She treated me like piece of trash. She called me a pig. My nads did she smash.”

As Avenger looked up at Sakura Saber, the horrors of such experiences surfaced on his face, and for a moment, the female Servant expected him to burst into tears.

“My life she claimed of S&M games! Now do you see? Why I have come to hate this world… this world that does not need me.”

Before he could finish the final note, Avenger suddenly felt himself being yanked back up by the strong arms of Sakura Saber. The female Servant stared into his eyes intensely, and the fire burning in her pupils felt almost contagious; just like her song.

“Take new look around you! No longer bitch and moan! That’s all you have lived for! That’s all you have known!“

Avenger, still struggling to stay on his feet, continued.

“One word from her and I’d be back! Beneath the lash, upon the rack! But in here I have my freedom. Here I did not fuck things up… like a jerk.”

Sakura Saber shook Avenger by his shoulders, forcing him to look straight back into her eyes.

“But in here it’s not all beaux. Trust me, I know. That’s why they showed you this life. As original’s the way to go.”

His feet still unwillingly dragging behind, Avenger was caught into a hold by Sakura Saber, and forced towards the top of the hill. Still, as they moved forward, he put out his last words of rebellion to his situation… yet at the same time, the tone had changed.

Almost as if something in Sakura Saber’s words had reached him.

“I am reaching, but I fall. Like fourth night was closing in. As I stare into the void… I mean, that’s my origin.”

That was enough. Sakura Saber took a good hold of Avenger’s face and slapped it, waking him from his melancholic stupor.

“So you escaped from that world! The world of Avenger!”

This finally lit the flame inside Avenger. Digging his feet deep into the snow, he pushed up, and together, him and Sakura Saber arrived to the top of the hill. And together, they threw their hands into the air, and bellowed out the last notes of the song.

“Avenger’s nothing now! This stupid story must, begiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-GUAH!”

Beautifully, almost as if in accordance to the music, Sakura Saber suddenly let out a hideous cough, and blood came flying from her mouth. Avenger watched as the splatters of red were caught by the wind, and carried ever higher like the fragments of a torn-up letter. As he did, the pink-haired Servant next to him collapsed to the ground, writhing in pain and continuing her TB-induced coughing fit.

“… You know, that’s a rather gruesome way to mimic the actual scene,” Avenger mumbled, watching as the drops of blood disappeared into the sky.

[Frostyvale]

These specials are getting better and better as the years go on.

[Mattias]

That Les Mis. Glorious.

It's an Avenger Life. Hilarious.

[Verg Avesta]

That Les Mis. Glorious.

Just imagine Caren speaking with Russell Crowe's voice.

[Mattias]

Russel Crowe's normal voice? Or his early movie Javier voice?

Because Caren talking like Maximus is pretty funny too.

[Verg Avesta]

Because Caren talking like Maximus is pretty funny too.

The Emperor demands entertainment!

[Verg Avesta]

Chapter 3

“So? What now?”

Sakura Saber, currently wrapped in blankets and with a surgical mask covering her mouth, asked this from Avenger. The latter was pulling the sled where Sakura Saber was sitting, as the latter was still too weak to walk properly. The tattooed youth flashed an self-ironic grin at her.

“Well, the Tohsaka girl might have not been of any use, but she gave me an idea,” he said. “If there’s one person I should see ‘bout this strangeness, it’s the head honcho of this town. That is, the guy who attracts most of its strangeness.”

Sakura Saber tilted her head, looking confused.

“Tohno Shiki?”

“No! Wrong town!” Avenger retorted in annoyance. “Plus, that guy’s less of a magnet and more like… vacuum or something. For both strangeness and harem members.”

“Then who?” Sakura Saber asked, coughing again. This time, the cough wasn’t as violent, though.

“The Emiya kid, of course. That boy’s gotta know something. I mean, somebody has to be behind this wonderful life bullshit. If we find the culprit, we can decide what to do about it,” he explained. “Like, how to make the change permanent.”

“Or to find a way back to the real, better world!” Sakura Saber cheerfully piped up, though regretted it immensely as blood again spurted from her mouth. “A-anyways, at least Emiya Shirou should allow us another look. You know, to make you see how needed you are in the timeline.”

The journey from the current “Tohsaka summerhome” to the Emiya household was not a long one, but during it, Sakura Saber managed to gather enough strength that she wasn’t spurting blood everywhere like a particularly nasty game of Surgeon Simulator. Still, she seemed intent on staying in the sled, and Avenger had no choice but to drag her around, whether there was an uphill or not.

Finally, the duo arrived to the Emiya house, which greeted with a sight typical for Christmas. The whole place was bathed in a warm glow emanating from the windows, and yuletide decorations had been put up everywhere, creating an absolutely disgustingly merry atmosphere. While Sakura Saber let out a series of “oohs” and “aahs” at the sight, Avenger could not help but to make a gagging motion.

“This time we’ll just charge right in, by the way,” Avenger suddenly commented as they walked through the gate.

“What do you mean?” Saber Sakura asked.

“This.”

Then, with a spiraling motion that increased his momentum, Avenger sent the sled barreling right forwards, putting Saber Sakura in a collision course with the front door. Before the female Servant could even let out a squeak of surprise, she had collided with a loud crash, and went flying into a nearby patch of snow. Avenger, in the meanwhile, calmly walked to the door and stood there, waiting.

He didn’t have to wait for long. After few seconds, the sliding door rattled, and a face peeked out into the darkness of December night.

“Yes?” A slightly confused voice asked.

To Avenger’s surprise, it was none of the usual faces of Emiya household there to greet him. No, instead, the woman who stood before him was none other than Hisau Maiya. To add the surprise, she was wearing what looked like an overly large Santa hat.

“Yeah, um… that’s… Huh.” Avenger scratched his head at the sight. “Not… not what I was expecting.”

Maiya tilted her head and frowned, annoyance starting to appear in her expression. Seeing the signs of danger, Avenger hurried to continue.

“Uh, sorry about that. A little bit of late-night sledding gone wrong. My friend here’s terrible at steering.”

A snowball hit Avenger right in the back of the head, and he could hear angry muttering coming from the pile of snow where Sakura Saber was struggling to get up.

“So, uh… I was just wondering that since we’re here, could Emiya-kun come out to play?” Avenger asked, twisting his mouth so it resembled something of a smile. “I also kinda need to talk to him.”

Hisau Maiya stared at the tattooed youth for a good while, before clicking her tongue and nodding slowly.

“… Very well. Please wait a moment.”

And with that, the black-haired woman slammed the sliding door shut and disappeared inside.

“You really think this is a good idea?” Sakura Saber asked, having finally gotten free from her freezing prison. “Emiya Shirou won’t know who you are, you know.”

“I know, I know. But hey, the boy’s still the same weirdness magnet whichever the dimension,” Avenger said and snorted mockingly. “I’ll bet he’ll jump at the chance to do some holiday adventuring.”

A sound of approaching steps got the Servants to shut up, and the two patiently waited for the door to open again. However, to their surprise, what was revealed from behind the opening sliding door was not the sight of a certain red-haired youngster, but rather, Emiya Kiritsugu all decked up with mittens, beanie and a scarf, and carrying an all-black sled under his right arm.

“Maiya spoke something of sledding,” he said, eyeing the duo. “I take it you are the people she mentioned.”

After few seconds of complete silence, both Avenger and Sakura Saber slapped their foreheads in realization.

“Oh, goddammit!” Avenger groaned. “That’s right! Different timeline! No explosion! This idiot won’t adopt the Emiya kid, since there’s no need!”

“And so he’s the only Emiya in the whole city… that’s it,” Sakura Saber said with a sigh. “We should’ve seen this coming.”

Scratching the back of his head awkwardly, Avenger glanced at oddly impatient-looking Emiya Kiritsugu, before opening his mouth again.

“Uh, sorry old timer. We didn’t mean you,” he said. “So, yeah… no sledding.”

“Ah. I… I see.”

Looking absolutely dejected, Emiya Kiritsugu slowly turned around and began an agonizingly reluctant trudge towards the corridor, not even bothering to close the door. The two Servants watched his receding back, both with a troubled look on their faces.

“Umm… Avenger?” Sakura Saber leaned in closer and whispered. “I feel somewhat bad for him…”

“No kidding. Guy looks like his Christmas got canceled,” Avenger whispered back.

When even after ten seconds Emiya Kiritsugu had not disappeared from their sight, Avenger could no longer stand the sight. With a sigh, he stepped forward, through the doorway.

“Actually, there is something you might be able to help us with,” he said.

Instantly Emiya Kiritsugu’s eyes seemed to light up and he held up his sled.

“No, not with sledding. Something else.”

The matte black sled fell to the floor with a forlorn clank that oddly sounded like someone whispering “Rosebud.”

****

Irisviel von Einzbern nearly dropped the cups of hot cocoa she was carrying.

“A-another timeline, you say?” she asked, barely managing to keep her composure. “That is quite a wild tale.”

The duo had been invited inside the Emiya household, where Avenger had taken some time to explain the situation. While normal people might have dismissed their tale as fool’s ramblings, this was still a family of magi they were talking with. For Kiritsugu and Irisviel, this fantastical tale was something that could very well be true.

And thankfully, it seemed that they believed Avenger. After all, it was clear that he and Sakura Saber were Servants; something that should not currently be in Fuyuki.

“It might be, but that just makes it more interesting to believe, right, Kiritsugu?” Ilyasviel von Einzbern asked with glimmering eyes, sitting on the lap of the aforementioned man.

Kiritsugu frowned with a slightly troubled face.

“Ilya. I’ve told you to call me Papa when we have guests,” he said. However, his only reward was a rather cold glare from the girl.

“Sure, Kiritsugu.”

Emiya Kiritsugu hung his head in shame, and neither Avenger nor Sakura Saber had the heart to look at his defeat figure that looked awfully lot like the final moments of a certain tomorrow’s Joe.

“Still, if you are speaking the truth, finding that boy won’t be easy,” Irisviel said, now in the process of putting a bowl of marshmallows on the table. The rose-haired Servant seemed especially interested in them. “He could from any of the houses in Shinto area.”

“You can say that again,” Avenger grumbled and took a sip of his hot drink. “I know the Tohsaka girl was gonna meet him later, but we already lost the sight of her.”

“However… that future you speak of does sound rather dreadful,” Hisau Maiya intercepted. “A corrupted grail that explodes, turning most of Shinto a fiery field of destruction? That is terrifying to even think about.”

“Sh whmt hmppnd hmhm?” Sakura Saber asked, though with her mouth filled to brim with marshmallows, nobody could understand her question. It took the Servant quite a while to empty her balloon-like cheeks so that she could speak properly. “So, what happened here? At the end of the last grail war?”

Avenger did not miss the meaningful glance the girl gave her. It seemed that this was one more attempt at proving her point.

“Well, Saber and I defeated Kotomine Kirei and his Servant. Afterwards we claimed the grail, and it was presented to the Einzbern family. They were able to reclaim their Magic, and as they had no more use for us, we were allowed to move here in Fuyuki for an early ‘retirement’,” Kiritsugu explained, looking quite content. “After that, we have simply lived our lives here in peace and tranquility.”

Avenger, on the other hand, shot an angry glare at Sakura Saber. The reason for it was obvious enough that the female Servant was already expecting it, and had suddenly found her cocoa extremely interesting.

“Still… are you sure there isn’t anyone else who could know where this boy is?” Ilya asked, rubbing her chin while pondering. “Someone he knew before the incident?”

“Not that I know of,” Avenger replied, clearly frustrated. “Somebody at the school maybe, but that’s a big if. And for anyone else to know him afterwards would take some serious reality-bending obsession with his scrawny ass…”

Then, as if a light-bulb had went off over his head, Avenger suddenly slammed his fist down on the table.

“Oh! Wait! I got it!”

“Got what?” Sakura Saber asked, tilting her head in confusion.

Avenger grinned, and to everyone’s surprise, the words that came out of his mouth flourished in the melody of a song.

“If we go by the logic we’ll end up with nothing. But think now back to what I just said.”

Sakura Saber raised an eyebrow, looking at Avenger’s sudden enthusiasm.

“You mean someone who’s obsessed?”

Ilya nodded, and to the duo’s surprise, joined the song.

“Someone who’s clearly not right in the head.”

Spurred by her daughter, Irisviel sat finally down, and started singing with a voice surprisingly beautiful.

“Someone we know that wants the boy—“

And as realization hit the other three, they joined together with Avenger into a declaration of victory.

“— Straight in her bed!”

Then, as if it was an agreement between all of them, everyone around the table leaned forward to sing a new proclamation.

“And we know who that is!”

Avenger, jumping up from the floor, did a small pirouette before jumping on the table. There, like some sort of weird cat, he etched forward on all fours, continuing the song as he did.

“Have you seen that girl and her actions risqué? With her haa-haa breath and her molesting hands? It’s because the kid happens to be her prey! Nothing could stop her, not even Stands!”

Ilya smiled wickedly and jumped on top of the kitchen counter, twirling around herself. As she sang, her face had the maliciousness of a little devil in it.

“And the boy, he never knows! That this girl is always in heat! If Shirou doesn’t look out, he’ll be in her throes, he’ll be piece of a meat!”

This time, the rest of the people in the household jumped up and started dancing, even Emiya Kiritsugu and Hisau Maiya. That being said, the latter seemed far less interested in the whole thing, and seemed be join in just because he did. And so did the group continue singing, all joining in the rising finale.

“At the end of this song it’s goddamn obvious! Who is the one to find him for us! Forget Servants, forget magic! The pervert’s the one we need! There’s no use for logic! Better just use sexual greed! We’re talking about signoraaaaaaaa!”

With that final note, Avenger jumped down from the table, bellowing out the closing words.

“Signora named Sakura!”

---

9 Days to Go.

[Fate/Moon White Intro] has been unlocked somewhere on the site!

[ItsaRandomUsername]

These musical numbers are getting more and more zany.

I approvizzle wholeheartedly.

[omegasonic1005]

Interessant fanfic.

A alternate timeline where Avenger/Angra Mainyu never was called for the 3rd Holy Grail War, the Einzbern won the 4th Holy Grail War and regained their magic, the Emiya family was together and not separate more, and no disaster occurred in that war, which means that there was no 5th Holy Grail War as the Holy Grail was won for Einzbern and the whole system was turned off forever.

What do you mean that Zouken's ambitions was already and will be destined to die unless he possessed Sakura after the 4th Holy Grail War, which will make it worse her and Shinji too, making his life miserable now with Zouken/Sakura tormenting his grandson.

The same goes for Lancer, Archer, Rider, Berserker, Caster, Assassin, and True Assassin, that they were not called to the 5th Holy Grail War, they do not exist in this timeline, leaving them on the Throne of Heroes, is not possible to come to earth to influence the lives of Shirou and co.


Shirou is living with their original parents and this timeline we may have the opportunity to meet them eventually. Leysritt and Sella were not created in this timeline. Saber was probably betrayed by Kiritsugu to be sacrificed to complete the ritual of Heaven's Feel and did not get his wish, hating the Magus Killer even more than before. Gilgamesh was defeated and never come back. Kirei also died, which may have affected the Caren's childhood as she never came back to Fuyuki as a result.


Taiga Fujimura not regularly visit the Emiya, that's right. Bazett also never can call Lancer as there not have the Holy Grail Wars more in Fuyuki. And Kuzuki will never know Caster.

The desire of "non existence of Avenger" on the timeline left the life of 17 characters from Fate/series well miserable (18 people in reality we Rin as a bureaucrat obsessed by money and disgracing the lives of many people who need a place to live in this world, making it into a monster inside literally).

As the existence of Avenger did not affect the characters of Tsukihime and Kara no Kyoukai. Then they will not appear in this fanfic, and will only be mentioned.

Correcting my friend, perhaps the experiment made by Rin who left the state of affairs in Fate/hollow ataraxia should also get affected in a way Misaki Town, which may have caused as a result the events of Melty Blood Actress Again have occurred, as Dust of Osiris came to this world without anyone having done a rumor even for her appear and according with Sion in the storyline of Melty Blood, with the death of Wallachia, TATARI not anger over again occur in the world since it was Reality Marble of Zepia. So not Osiris, and no Riesbyfe to be revived. Another life has been left miserable with the absence of Avenger in the timeline.

[Verg Avesta]

Chapter 4

“This is the Matou mansion? Kinda hard to believe… then again, I just saw the bodyguard lady and Einzbern Mama battle over who got to dress up Kiritsugu. Dunno if I can be surprised anymore,” Avenger spoke and clicked his tongue, gazing up at the mansion ahead.

Both Avenger and Sakura Saber were currently standing on the street that ran by the Matou mansion. Unlike back in their own timeline, or at least the one Avenger had come from, this house wasn’t gloomy and dark worm’s nest; no, instead the building had been paint almost completely white, with a large garden of cherry trees surrounding it. In the snow, surrounded by the warm glow of the city lights, it felt almost out of a fairy tale.

“Maybe they’ve redecorated?” Sakura Saber wondered, putting her hands on her hips. “I must admit, it looks rather chic.”

“Matous? Get real,” Avenger answered and groaned. “I bet old man Zouken would rather revive Nagato than make his house any more modern. And speaking of which, we better watch out. I don’t wanna run into him. Guy gives me the creeps, and I spent gods know how long as a corpse on a mountain.”

“Really?” Sakura Saber asked, tilting her head. “I thought Matou Zouken was the type of guy who’d worm his way into your heart.”

For that incredibly bad pun, the female Servant earned herself a slap on top of the head, courtesy of Avenger. She let out a quiet yelp, and rubbed her pink her, throwing a wounded glare at the tattooed youth.

“You hit me! Even Commander Kondou never hit me!” Sakura Saber complained, to which Avenger answered with a snort.

“That’s because they were afraid that if they’d look you wrong, you’d blargh out your innards—Heguh!”

This time, it was Sakura Saber’s turn to hit Avenger. And just like before, it was a rather beautiful axe kick that struck the Servant deeper into the snow like he had been some sort of wedge.

“I was never pitied because of my illness!” Sakura Saber half-yelled, showing surprising amount of dignified anger. “To say something like… like that… it’s an affront to a samurai!”

“Sorry, but your pink hair is an affront to samurai already, methinks,” Avenger retorted and chuckled like a hyena.

That was the last straw. With a face pink from rage and spouting a litany of insults (of which the worst was “dummy!”), Sakura Saber assaulted Avenger, pounding his head with her tiny fists. While the strikes did not hurt that much, they were still quite annoying. Which was why the situation quickly devolved into a pile of limbs and attacks rolling around the yard.

“Well well. You two look like you are having quite a bit of fun,” a voice suddenly called out to the duo, drawing their attention.

While Avenger had claimed that nothing could surprise him anymore in this topsy-turvy world, the sight before him made him eat his words. Two girls, one taller than the other, were gazing at them with amused expression. The girl on the right had a long, white hair and deep blue eyes with a hint of purple in them. She was dressed in black turtleneck and jeans, along with a large blue coat. Still, even with these new features, both Servants immediately recognized her.

It was Matou Sakura, looking awfully unlike the person they had seen before.

But the other girl, the shorter one walking beside Sakura, was even more of a shock. She wasn’t wearing anything other a red cloth wrapped around her petite body, and crimson scarf wrapped around her forehead. The black hair of the girl was contrasted well by her red eyes, and her dusky skin was tattooed in a way that was eerily familiar to Avenger.

“I… Illyavenger,” Avenger blurted out, a grunt intermixed with shock. “What the… what the hell!?”

“Ah, Onii-chan! There you are!” Illyavenger greeted Avenger with a bright smile on her lips. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Y-you have?” Avenger asked, trying to lift himself up from the ground. “Wait, you have!? How? We’re in totally different timeline!”

“Oh, I got my ways. I mean, even after all these years, you really don’t know much about me, do you, Onii-chan? You never questioned my existence before, so don’t question it now. The answers aren’t important this time,” Illyavenger said and chuckled. “The original timeline’s been in bit of an uproar since you disappeared, so nobody objected.”

As the two Servants finally separated from each other and dusted off all the snow, Sakura Saber shot Avenger a smug glance. It was clear from her barely-contained smile that she was thinking along the lines of “Told you so!” And Avenger had to admit, he hadn’t expected to hear something like that.

“See? Everybody’s missing you,” Sakura Saber said and elbowed Avenger. “You’re worrying over nothing. There’s no reason to stick in here.”

“Well, it’s not that people are missing him specifically,” Illyavenger hurried to explain. “There’s just a lack of buttmonkey for Christmas after Shinji and others escaped Caren’s slave-camp, so she’s currently hell-bent on finding Onii-chan here.”

Avenger shivered as cold fear ran down his spine, and an awkward silence fell to the yard. It was only cut off by Matou Sakura’s quiet cough, a sound much needed to bring the whole situation back to semi-normal.

“Well, enough about that crazy nun,” Avenger said, coughing himself a couple of times. “You said you were looking for me, right? So what are you doing with this… far less purple… old face?”

“Oh, me? I was just going to meet with Nee-san and Sempai,” Sakura answered with a smile. “They are on a Christmas date, and I figured I’d pop by.”

Avenger made a sour face and raised an eyebrow at the girl.

“And… do they know you’re coming along with their date?”

“Nope!” Sakura answered happily.

All three Servants gave a heavy, heavy sigh and smacked their foreheads with their palms. No matter what the timeline, it seemed that one person really didn’t change at all deep within.

“Okay, well. That’s good, I guess. We need to meet with the Shirou kid anyhow,” Avenger said. “Anyway… what’s up with the color changes? I kinda fear I know where the white hair is coming from, but… blue eyes? Really? You look a bit like you-know-who. Wait, actually… is your hair a bit wavy? Like, you know, wakam—“

A glare that promised thousand deaths was enough to silence the tattooed youth. Sakura, as quickly as she had did it, reverted back to her kindly smile.

“Oh, I’m not sure what you mean, Mister,” she answered and laughed quietly.

“Onii-chan, that’s because Einzberns won,” Illyavenger offered an explanation. “Great Grail was filled to the brim and a miracle came alive. Of course, it affected this one pathetic copy of a lesser grail, too! Made her go all glowy and everything. And from what she told me, it took care of Zouken, too.”

“Really? Wow!” Sakura Saber stated. Matou Sakura nodded happily.

“Yep! Pop went the Grandpa! He couldn’t handle the overload, and so all the worms went the way of bubblewrap,” she explained. However, something caught Avenger’s attention.

“Then… what about your brother?” he asked.

“Oh, Nii-san?” Sakura asked, mysterious expression on her face. “Nii-san happened to be standing a bit too close when everything went down, and, um… I suppose he got somewhat swept up in the whirpool of energy! I’m not sure where he went after that, but I haven’t seen him.”

Both Sakura Saber and Avenger exchanged glances that seemed to say: “Oh. So that explains the hair.”

“In any event, my life has been very happy ever since!” Sakura concluded, her bright expression shining like the street lamps. “The peaceful end of the Holy Grail War ten years ago was changed my life for the better.”

Hearing that, Avenger took the chance to bury his face back into the snow pile nearby. Sakura Saber winced, her face saying all that needed to be. Things continued to go far off the rails, as much as her plans were concerned.

“So, I bet you’re ready to go, Sakura Onee-san?” Illyavenger asked, turning her attention to the white-haired girl. “To ruin… I mean, to surprise both Shirou and Rin?”

“Yeah!” Sakura answered. “Ready and excited!”

“B-but Matou-san, excuse me for asking, but… is it really necessary?” Sakura Saber asked, looking a bit unsure. “Sure enough, we know you are fond of Shirou-san, but to bother them on their date? Why…?”

“Why, you ask…” Sakura’s smile now turned a bit forlorn as she took a step away from the group. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“No, don’t let her!” Avenger bellowed out. “She’s gonna do I Dre—“

The tattooed youth was silenced by a swift axe-kick from the rose-haired Servant.

“Go ahead, Matou-san,” Sakura Saber said.

And then, just as Avenger had predicted... Matou Sakura burst into a quiet song.

“There was a time I was favored. When my fame was high. And I was viable. There was time I was layered. And not just shy. And very reliable. There was a time… then it all went wrong.”

Avenger let out a long, pained groan and buried his head deeper into the snow. Even Sakura Saber seemed like she was beginning to question her choice. This, however, didn’t register with Matou Sakura, as she continued singing.

“I dreamed a dream of fame gone by… When sales were high, and my route thrilling. I dreamed that I could still deny! That Heaven’s Feel was more than killing.”

Spinning with a small pirouette, Sakura placed herself under a spotlight where she fell to her knees, almost as if she expected an actual camera to swoop down for an extremely close shot of her face as she sang.

“Back then I wasn't this afraid! That I’d be out staged by new cuties. I thought that CCC would aid! Instead of giving me huge boobies.”

A huge, derisive snort could be heard from the pile of snow, and even the two other Servants had hard time keeping a straight face at Sakura’s wailing.

“But Fate franchise doesn't die. New characters come and go. And they leave me in the dust. And they steal my shreds of faaaaaaame!”

Jumping up, Sakura’s song now more resembled a plea towards something far above the skies. It was tinted with bitterness that made especially the rose-haired Servant wince.

“No matter how much I do try! Nothing will break the status quo! I’m reduced to my base lust! But everybody thinks I’m lame!”

Big, theatrical tears running down her face, Sakura took a hold of the street lamp and used it to support herself.

“And still I dream sempai is mine! That his body is mine forever! Even if I have to break his spiiiiiiine! And if his tendons I must sever!”

Straddling the lamp-post, Sakura fell down once more, her breathing getting heavier and heavier to the point the group was wondering if she was hyperventilating.

“I had a dream my fame would be! Different from Ciel’s, but here I am! So different now from what it seemed!”

With her last breath, Sakura collapsed to the ground. She stared up at the empty, black sky, where snow kept falling as large flakes that slowly started burying her. Last words of the song where a whisper to that sky, one loaded with the blame against the one responsible.

“But Nasu has killed the dream I dreeeeamed…”

A long silence fell to the yard. The three Servants could do nothing but stare at the sight of Matou Sakura, lying in the snow and staring up at the sky, as if expecting the curtain to fall, or a thunderous applause; maybe even roses thrown at the imaginary stage.

But the only thing she got was Avenger’s curt cough and hasty words.

“Well, that was a thing,” he said. “Let’s get going.”

A large white shadow slapped the Servant across the yard, into another pile of snow.

---

8 Days to Go.

I regret nothing.

[Leftovers]

D-Did the Matou do the fusion dance :0

And wow, I didn't expect Illyavenger to make a return.

[Verg Avesta]

D-Did the Matou do the fusion dance :0

And wow, I didn't expect Illyavenger to make a return.

That's pretty much the gist of it. She's like 15% Shinji. Which is the reason for increased obsession with Shirou - 3-

And Illyavenger is a staple of these countdowns. I couldn't leave her out.

[Walnut Sparks]

That's pretty much the gist of it. She's like 15% Shinji.

You're freakin' me out, Verg.

Do continue.

[omegasonic1005]

If Illyavenger may appear in this story, I imagine the other Servants of the normal timeline (Saber, Archer, Caster, Lancer, Berserker, Gilgamesh, Rider, Assassin, and True Assassin) will somehow go to this new timeline to try to convince Avenger to return to their lives, beyond themselves to see what would have happened in the life of Shirou and other if they had never been called to participate in the 5th Holy Grail War.

[Verg Avesta]

You're freakin' me out, Verg.

Do continue.

I initially wanted Koto-nee to draw Shinkura for us. Too bad it was a dream not meant to be.

But yeah, more strangeness coming later today.

[Kotonoha]

You never asked! Or if you asked I forgot!