Merry Christmas. Hearts is taking more time than I thought, so have this that has been sitting around forever that I totally forgot about. Probably because it isn't as funny as the others. Well, except for Lio, which I partially blame on Dullahan.
Computer: Wake up, Shiki.
Shiki: …
Computer: Wake up, Shiki.
Shiki: …
Computer: WAKE THE FUCK UP, SHIKI.
Shiki: …nng?
Computer: The Matrix has yo—
Shiki: (pulls cover over head)
--
Shiki: Ever have one of those times when you’re not sure whether you’re awake or still dreaming?
Choi: Yeah, all the time. Man! Seems you ought to relax some. Why don’t you come with us for a while?
Shiki: I have work in the morning.
Dujour: Mikiya Kokutou will be th—
Shiki: Let me get my jacket.
--
Mikiya: You look bored.
Shiki: Meh.
Mikiya: You know, the way you’re standing, that response, I’d have thought you were a boy.
Shiki: And by your name, I’d have thought you were a French poet.
Mikiya: Touché.
Shiki: What do you want?
Mikiya: That’s not the real question, is it?
Shiki: What is the Matrix?
Mikiya: Well, you could say we’re singing in a kind of rain~
--
(Shiki gets a phone in the mail)
Shiki: Hello?
Voice over the phone: Hello, Shiki. Time is short, so I’ll be brief. Do you want to meet?
Shiki: Now?
Voice: Yes.
Shiki: Okay.
Voice: Then you must do exactly as I say. Outside, there’s a ledge. Get on it. Then jump…or climb over to the window washer’s scaffolding.
Shiki: …I get this distinct feeling you don’t like me.
--
Agent Araya: RYOUGI SHIKI. We’ve had our eyes on you for a while now.
Shiki: How about I give you a death glare, and you give me my phone call?
Agent Araya: Heh, death glare.
--
Azaka: Hello, Shiki.
Shiki: So, “someone who can do a better job” is just your sister?
Mikiya: Yeah, she’s wanted to meet you. I’ll be in the other room.
Shiki: What’s this about?
Azaka: I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.
Shiki: Hm?
Azaka: In my hands are two pills. Take the blue pill, and I’ll be forever grateful that my brother will never have to deal with you again.
Shiki: What?
Azaka: Take the red pill, and I kick your ass multiple ways in simulation to vent my frustration.
(Shiki reaches for the red pill, then her finger gets singed by the pill spontaneously combusting)
Azaka: Are you sure you don’t want to take the blue pill?
--
(Shiki wakes in a dingy medical bed)
Shiki: Am I dead?
Azaka: Far from it.
Shiki: You tried to poison me, didn’t you?
Azaka: …Well…
--
Azaka: My ship, the Nebuchadnezzar. Ignore the name, it was either that or Signy, which I vetoed. This is my crew. You already know Mikiya. Your operator is the one with the big boobs, Fujino. Grinning beside her is Lio. The small one behind you is Enjou.
Shiki: …
Azaka: I’ll show you what the Matrix is.
(They jack-in)
Azaka: This is the loading program. Here we can load anything from clothing, weapons, equipme—
Shiki: Bottled water?
--
Azaka: This is the part where I get to beat you up.
Shiki: I know Kung Fu.
Azaka: Show me.
Shiki: I’m okay at Aikido.
Azaka: Then hit me, if you can.
Shiki: Also Kendo.
(Shiki grabs a sword from the stand next to the wall)
Azaka: Wait wait wait we’re not sparring with that I think you’ve had enough. Fujino, load the jump program.
(Switches to on top of a roof)
Azaka: You’ve got to let it all go. Fear, doubt, disbelief. Free your mind.
(She jumps. She turns, but finds Shiki has already jumped after her, landing and doing cartwheels and flips in the process.)
Azaka: Whoa.
Shiki: That’s a lot more boring without digital water.
--
(Mikiya sets food and drink outside Shiki’s door)
Lio: You never do that for me.
Mikiya: You’re not adjusting to having your world turned upside-down. Also, she’s a girl, it’s good to be nice sometimes.
(Lio looks on like he has an idea)
--
Shiki: So that’s it.
Lio: The Matrix? Yeah.
Shiki: It does look like rain.
Lio: Yeah, but all I see now is food I’m not eating.
--
Enjou: So, I heard you ran through the Agent training program earlier.
Fujino: Here it comes.
Enjou: What did you think of her? The woman in red? She doesn’t talk much, but, she’s got it where it counts. If you want, I can set up a private meeting.
Lio: A digital pimp hard at work.
Enjou: Pay no attention to these hypocrites, Shiki. To deny our own impulses is to deny our origins.
Lio: huhehue.
--
Shiki: So this Oracle, she knows what, everything?
Azaka: She would say she knows “enough.”
Shiki: What did she tell you?
Azaka: That I was in lo…everything she says is private, got it?
--
Touko: I know you’re Shiki. Be right with you.
Shiki: You’re the Oracle?
Touko: Bingo. (smiles and looks over her glasses) Not what you were expecting, huh? I’d ask you to sit down, but you’re not going to. And don’t worry about the vase.
Shiki: What vase?
(Shiki turns, bumps into a vase. She catches it in mid-air, but then her fingernails scrape along the side. The vase turns into dust.)
Touko: (taking off glasses) Actually, I’ll have you pay for that. Come closer.
--
Touko: Being Emptiness is like being in love. No one can tell you you’re in love, you just feel the void of it inside you.
--
Fujino: They’ve cut the hardline, it’s a trap, get out!
(The exit is blocked)
Enjou: Oh no.
(Fujino looks at the screen)
Fujino: Oh no.
(Enjou gets a pair of guns. Troops swarm him and shoot him down. An Agent steps in after the dust settles.)
Agent Araya: Worthless.
--
(While crawling through the walls, Araya punches through to grab Shiki)
Agent Araya: Fugu! Kongou! Dakatsu!
Azaka: Fortissimo! Sotto! Mezzoforte!
Shiki: What the hell are they doing?
Mikiya: We have to go!
(they flee while words are still being chanted)
--
Lio: Now look into those eyes. Those big, pretty eyes. And tell me, yes, or no?
Mikiya: Yes.
Lio: No! I don’t believe it!
(Fujino is limping, grasping her side)
Fujino: Believe it or not, you’re going to get bent.
(Lio starts screaming)
--
Mikiya: You okay?
Fujino: It hurts, but I’ll be fine. But they have Azaka. We might have to pull the plug.
Shiki: No, we’re going to save her.
Fujino: You’re crazy. What do you need? Besides a miracle?
Shiki: Knives and swords. Lots of them.
Fujino: You picked the wrong character to ask for that.
--
Agent Araya: I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this place. This zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell—if there is such a thing—I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear I have somehow been infected by it—it's repulsive! Isn't it? I must get out of here. I must get free…and in her mind, her eyes, my key. Once I reach Zion, once I reach the Swirl of the Root, there is no need for me to be here. Do you understand?! I need the source, I have to get inside. She will do that for me, or you will die.
--
Security guard: Would you please remove any metallic objects you may have, keys, loose change—
(Shiki opens her arm like a box and pulls out a knife)
Security guard: Holy shit.
--
Mikiya: How did you do that?
Shiki: Do what?
Mikiya: You moved like they do.
Shiki: Yeah, but still not Servant speed. Can you fly one of those things?
Mikiya: I did just get my license.
(They take the helicopter down to where Azaka is being held)
Shiki: C’mon Azaka, get up.
(Azaka doesn’t move)
Shiki: …Then I guess we’ll just leave and I’ll have him all to myse—
(Azaka comes charging toward them, screaming the entire time)
--
Fujino: What the hell was that?!
Mikiya: An Agent, you have to send me back.
Fujino: I can’t.
Azaka: Don’t worry, she’s got this.
--
Agent Araya: RYOUGI SHIKI.
Shiki: Do you mean Shiki, SHIKI, or 「」? I really can’t tell with how you enunciate everything.
--
Mikiya: The Oracle told me that I would fall in love and that the man I would fall in love with was empty. So you see, you can’t be dead, because you’re that man. Although you’re a woman. But also a man. And empty inside. Because you’re literally empty. I think? And I, uh…I want to fill you? I MEAN, with love. Not that way. Well, that way too, if it’s okay. Because I’m in love with you. You hear me? I love you.
Fujino: …After such a short time?
Mikiya: Well, I did do all that stalking of her while we were investigating her situation…
--
Shiki: I know you’re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. Everything you’ve created has a flaw. Air, intent, even time. My eyes see the death of you. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to begin. I came here to tell you how it’s going to end. I’ll kill you, even if you think you’re some kind of god.
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Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart
