Made some revisions to the battle of the fourth floor and I've subtracted Shirou finding the pendant. Though in a rather noncommittal move on my part, it might simply be underneath the dumpster for Shirou to find later. I'm going to need a few days to think things over as this would be a big departure from my original outline and I don't want the story to feel aimless and lacking in a central idea.
Last edited by Barbarossa; February 4th, 2015 at 10:03 PM.
This is what I was trying to get at. If Shirou needs to find the pendent to tell the story you want to tell, then don't just remove it because a couple of readers didn't like it, because who saved Shirou can have a real impact on the story.Originally Posted by Barbarossa
If Shirou finds the pendant after Sakura saves him, that sets him (and Rin) up for some kind of confrontation with Sakura, because there is no way in hell that Rin would fail to recognize it. If Ilya saves him, you need some other catalyst to develop that interaction, but you open up option to have Ilya involve herself more actively in Shirou's life, because she'll feel more justified in involving herself with him.
Don't go changing your entire story to appease your audience, that's how stories go bad.
Sorry if I'm sidetracking but forumghost, aren't you gonna answer my question from the previous page?
Oh, the thing about EMIYA?
Like I said, only 1 copy of each soul can be on the Throne at a time, it's part of what it is. This has no effect on how the Second works, because the Second involves Parallel Universes and the Throne exists outside of every universe.
As for 'what if more then one Shirou makes a contract with Alaya?'
I'm honestly not sure. Presumably Alaya wouldn't make a contract with him because "We've already got one"
I suggest you take a look at the Questions Thread for further clarification.
Last edited by forumghost; February 4th, 2015 at 10:54 PM.
I see. Then how about proper Heroic Spirits? Like a Cu Chulainn from a different universe? If he was still able to become a hero with a legend wouldn't he still ascend to the Throne regardless of whether there was already a version of him already present in the Throne? And I don't mean a Cu Chulainn that has a different legend but someone who just have very slightly different past.
Last edited by fsnfan; February 4th, 2015 at 11:07 PM.
Well, that's the other option- Heroes on the Throne tend to be a sort of amalgamation/conglomeration of their legends.
So either A) First one wins, the rest get recycled. or B) The 'copy' on the throne is a combination of all versions of the 'Hero'.
Of course, this is just speculative on my part, I'm mostly just talking out my ass (it's been a while since I played F/SN). Like I said, I really suggest you ask about it in the questions thread if you want a better answer then just my unfounded speculations.
Well I didn't really mean to pressure him into anything. While I had some gripes with how the scene played out the only reason I mentioned rewrites is, because he himself wasn't happy with how the scene played out.
If not for that sentence, I would have just commented normally without mentioning rewrites at all. I just don't think it's a good idea to have regrets about something if you can change it.
Either way I'm sorry. It was mostly an afterthought and I didn't mean to pressure you into anything. I just didn't like how you regretted your decision, but wouldn't have minded if you continued with things as they were.
There's a random t in this sentence.
I think you merged the previous version with the rewrite here. He scans there area. And all of a sudden he finds "it", which was left behind but there's no mention of what "it" is. And seems like the previous version so I'm going to assume that this was left over from it. Or maybe you were being cryptic on purpose here as he just woke up after losing a lot of blood and it wasn't supposed to make sense.
no need to apologize, it was out of concern and as you said I was and continue to feel uncertain about the matter.
Fixed.
Hasty splicing and editing, fixed as well.
The Pendant scene could have been fix instead of removing it entirely.
What a shame.
"......"
Miscellaneous Info
My impression is that it wasn't the pendant itself that was the problem, it was that Ilya saving him was set up too well and then Sakura the pendant came out of nowhere. In canon, Rin is present in the scene from the start, which sets up her saving Shirou.
re, the Throne and EXTRA, the Moon Cell actually can control what goes into the Throne of Heroes since it can remake reality. AFAIK the Moon Cell's version of EMIYA is the same one as the Throne version in EXTRA.
- - - Updated - - -
Also good story. In the beginning I felt like Rin was too flanderized; she just said "idiot!!!" every other word. But it's been developing nicely.
Issei, Sakura, and Ilya all feel spot on. I'm looking forward to seeing Kotomine and Gil; Gil's appearance seems kind of random so far, but it's still early. Something feels a tiny bit off about Archer but he's otherwise good.
Medea, though. I don't know if she would even care if there was a witness. But it's a small issue.
Last edited by mAc Chaos; February 6th, 2015 at 02:10 PM.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
Well I meant more like, why would she care about the rules of the War. She breaks them all the time. What's it to her if some random witness runs away.
He never sleeps. He never dies.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
I just thought Medea was mad 'cos some scrub interrupted her and then didn't even die when killed. I mean how will all the other HS ever take her seriously if she can't even deal with some half-baked Magus?
Poor Medea-chan T-T
Last edited by forumghost; February 6th, 2015 at 05:17 PM.
Same, I don't see the issue.
L
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